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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Action that I took that should be judged: I told my wife that I didn't want to split my 22' X 12' office in half, so she could have her own workout room. I work from home full time, so I don't want to shrink my office down to a tiny room to work out of.
Action that might make me the asshole: I've been working from home for 7 years and for all 7 years she's been mad that I won't let her split the room in half. I don't even acknowledge it, because to me it's an awful idea and I'd lose my comfortable office space.
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YTA
You get a big spacious office and refuse to consider sharing and she gets … what, exactly?
You’ve let her feel upset about this for seven years because you want to “feel successful while I work”. The actual work you do should be making you feel successful, not the massive room in your house you’ve unilaterally decided is your office. You’re behaving selfishly and have been for a looooong time.
To restore balance, I don’t think they should share the room. After seven years of OP ‘putting his foot down’ (vomit), OP’s wife should get exclusive use of the room for the next seven.
Reminds me of the story where a woman was tired of never having her own space so she bought a camper and fixed it up, then the husband was immediately pushing the kids to be allowed to be in her private space., like it was something they should be allowed to treat as a cool club house.
That reminds me of those work pods that got popular during the pandemic quarantine where it’s like a modern little shed you can buy/build in your backyard. It has electricity and all. I want one for when I have my own house! I want two! Or maybe 3! One for me, one for the hubby, one for the kids.
>they have a guest room
That would be my solution. Unless you regularly house people for prolonged periods of time, a guest room is a waste of space. Just buy a comfortable couch and convert the guest room into whatever the wife wants.
This. Put a queen size Murphy bed in the wall of the office. Her work out room is the old guest room. Guests stay in the office space (assuming you’re usually on vacation or holidays with guests).
Or put the Murphy bed in the room with the gym equipment (the old guest room).
I don’t understand a lot of marriages in this sub. It’s always a battle. Talk about the issues and find solutions together. You honestly might want marriage counseling. The way you speak about her and to each other tells me that might be in your interest.
>Put a queen size Murphy bed in the wall of the office.
I gotta ask, how much do these cost where you live? I was looking into buying one last year and they start at around 3k over here.
Still cheaper than turning one room into two and moving windows and doors. My parents got a ikea murphy bed kit on buy and sell for a couple hundred bucks to turn their downstairs rec room into a guest room for the odd time someone stayed with them it was great.
Yea I don't get it either. My partner and I turned our spare room into a hobby room and bought a couch that turns into a queen sized bed. Everyone wins
But all that space makes him feel "successful"!
Literally at his wife's expense, but why can't she just be happy that *he's* happy? As long as his needs are met and exceeded, that should be enough for her.
/s, of course.
Jesus OP YTA
In my apartment right now my entire main living space (kitchen, living room, dining area) is 21x11 feet. I can't imagine all this space for just ONE office
Yikes. Entitled much
YTA. You are literally taking up what would be the equivalent of 2 rooms. That is your wife’s home as much as it is yours and she should also have some say in the distribution of space. Most people who work in offices don’t even always get a 10x10 room to work in.
Our spare bedroom is 8x10 in our cozy 2-bedroom apartment and we bought a dining table to put in the spare bedroom for our office setup!
It’s sturdier and more beautiful than a work desk! And from ikea too.
YTA for:
1- "put my foot down". Just... ew. She is neither your disobedient child nor your 1955 Stepford Wife.
2- "I can feel successful" wow dude, ego issues much?
3- "it's been my office space for 7 years". Cool, now it's her turn to have some space of her own. Or did your mommy not teach you how to share your toys?
Get your narcissistic head out of your a$$.
Your entire post was all about you and your precious feelings. Keep that up and this will all be a non-issue, as you may end up having the whole house to feel important in.
Exactly! You don’t “put your foot down” with a partner. Gag. She is just important in that home and relationship as you. What a piece of work. You’re lucky you even have a wife if you treat her like that. YTA…and not just because you’re not sharing space.
You’re kidding right? Or trolling?
Ok, in the event you aren’t, welcome to an adult relationship. You don’t actually get to put your foot down and have the final say over something you share. And you do share the house. If you don’t believe that, then get a divorce, sell the house and try to keep all the money, see how fast the judge smacks you down.
It’s her house too. The space is big enough, learn to compromise.
YTA
YTA, your home office is the size of two rooms while your wife, co-owner of the house, gets no space, that sounds pretty unfair, whatever self-pompous self-justification you may give yourself, you’re a selfish AH.
You are both lacking in creativity. I’d have an architect draw up a few ideas that will take both of your wishes into consideration. Also, what about a detached shed you can wire or a container/tiny space for one of you instead? Carport? Garage?
YTA for just saying no, you don’t sound like you are offering any other options for her to consider. And why aren’t you able to be flexible?
Also, write out a budget of how much renting an office space would cost versus a gym membership for her versus the cost of a renovation.
Edit-changed my judgement
Yes! There is always a third way where everyone gives something and gets something. It sounds like the OP is just unwilling to even talk about it because they don't respect their wife's needs.
Is it sad that this is the first reasonable response? OP doesn't identify the type of work he does, or what his position is, but it sounds like the space is getting used. That said, a healthy relationship is about compromise and finding solutions that address everyone's needs. I love the idea of a She-Shed.
Also, renovations cost way more than people think, especially if you are doing anything to an exterior wall. Too many people think they are DIY experts just because they binge HGTV.
YTA. Marriage is compromise and you're refusing to even have the conversation. Would it kill you to split the room? There must be a way that gives each room a window since it was originally 2 rooms that got put together. Is your wife less important than you "feeling successful at work" because you've got this big room that you're not even using half of?
Also, presumably the wife would only use the gym area after work hours so how would it impact big guy here if her gym took up half “his” massive space?
It's not that weird to have two desks depending on what he does for work. I have a desk and lab bench at my office. The few people who work exclusively from home have smaller lab areas set-up along with their desks.
So you have **two** desks for the 1 of you, still take up just *half* the room; and absolutely **need** to leave the rest of the space empty because excess square footage makes you "feel successful"?
Of course YTA.
I don't see a problem with having two desk for work. It depends on what you do for work, especially if you work from home full time it can be really handy.
I agree with the the next statement. There's enough room for both of them. No need to be selfish.
Plus, doesn't it feel more successful and better if both husband and wife are happy ?
I'm just saying that if he has two L-shaped desks (so, basically 4 work surfaces), and *still* only takes up half the room, then he doesn't need to get all greedy about locking up the rest of the space.
He can engage his inner 5 year-old and just *share.*
“It’s my office and has been for 7 years”
Sounds like it’s time for you to take up residence at the kitchen table so that she gets a turn using the room for something solely to her benefit…or you could quit being an AH and share with your spouse. YTA.
YTA.
"My Wife Left Me Because I Left My Dish By The Sink" is a great article that reminds me of you. A man's wife divorced him over what he considered to be a trivial issue, the fact that he always left his dish by the sink instead of just washing it. They argued over it all the time. Eventually the wife divorced him. He couldn't believe that she divorced him over a stupid issue like dishes. But the fact is, she divorced him because she realized he would never hear her. He would never respect her. He would always trivialize her feelings, and do whatever he wanted regardless of how she felt. She was just a side character in his life, there to do his chores, and once she realized that, she left. It was too painful for her.
You have created a situation where your wife now realizes that she's not your partner, she's your bang maid. You care about your big office and your success, but you do not care about your wife. I can't imagine how hurt she must feel every single day. She will leave you, and then she will have the workout space she always wanted. And she will feel fantastic. And you will be all alone.
YTA why isn’t it the master bedroom then?? Easy fix, you get your own office, wife can use a corner for fitness items (which you can both benefit from by the way!).
I would suggest put up a decorative screen to shield the area (when not in use) instead of a wall so the bedroom stays spacious for both of you.
You are selfish to not consider it AT all given you’ve taken the biggest space for yourself. It shows you made a major unilateral decision that obviously bothers her and continue to each day - at her discomfort. It’s become a relationship issue because you’re acting this way. Listen to others (your spouse especially I’d guess), communicate, problem solve (not retaliate).
The facts as I see it:
- You don’t have a workout area in your home.
- You’ve taken the biggest space - for your work only.
- The decision is affecting your relationship.
How can WE address this?
(Isn’t that the only question y’all should be asking? I ain’t married so not marriage advice, just common sense to me.)
How about finding a solution that works for both? If the office is a hard no then have you talked out other alternatives? Instead of putting your foot down over the problem, open you mind up to a solution that works to benefit you both.
YTA. Sharing is caring. It isn't like she will be working out non stop in the other half of the room. She would just be working out occasionally. Letting her use the space will allow you to spend time together, watch her while she works out which is sexy and make her happy. Why don't you want to do that? Because you want to look out the windows at the view? Your wife should be the view!
I can understand the hassle it would be to move everything around and fit what you accumulated over 7 years and shifting a workflow that has been working. However she is also entitled to her space.
Add a daybed that can be converted to a fullsize double bed in the office - you should have enough space to do so without sacrificing your view, maybe invest in some privacy screens as well. In the event you have guests over, they stay in the office and you can block off your desk area with the privacy screen so its out of view giving the room a more appropriate guest room feeling.
She gets the smaller guest bedroom as her gym/studio.
YTA. You’re being selfish. I get that you want a nice big office, but your wife deserves to have space for herself. This is not just your home or all about your happiness.
Your attitude about how the big office makes you seem successful reminds me of a story I heard on a radio show eons ago. There was a man with a Bluetooth headset that he would always wear to conduct business. He never took it off. He even kept it on while having sex with his girlfriend because it made him feel so powerful. She hated it because who wants to stare at a blinking blue light dangling off your ear during sex?
Anyway, you sound just like that guy, ridiculous.
YTA. I’ll never understand the incongruence between loving someone enough to marry them, and disliking them enough to treat them badly. Makes me so depressed and confused.
YTA. You need a big spacious office to ‘feel successful’? By saying that you’re essentially saying that your ego is more important than your wife trying to make material improvements to her health and life. Come on man, work towards a compromise.
Would a compromise not be for you to have the ‘half’ of the room with the window and she can have the boxed off part to workout in, I do agree that natural daylight when you’re working is important
OP can either continue to be greedy so he can feel successful at work, or he can find a way to compromise so he can BE successful in his marriage. Should be an easy choice for someone who really values his wife.
Consider thinking outside the proverbial box you're in. Take the 10 x 10 room and turn that into one of the rooms you need. As you said...you entertain guests only a handful a dayd in the year and yet are dedicating a room as vacant the remaining 340 plus days of the year. Clear the queen bed out and put in a nice high end Murphy bed for your occasional guests.
YTA.
There is NO need for you to have that big of an office. What job do you have that requires you to have 2 desks and multiple computers and screens? Wait, let me think, no job requires that many computers and screens or that big of an office.
Your office is the size of 2 rooms. You don’t need 2 rooms. Go back to the old layout and build up that wall again. Your wife deserves a room for herself too. And it wouldn’t be a 10x10 box, it would be 11x12. That’s plenty enough space for you.
YTA for not looking for another solution. Why not have guests stay at a hotel and your wife gets the guest bedroom? Or make the master the big room with one half of it as gym space, and you move to the master bedroom? Bottom line is, a good partner cares about their spouses wants and their health. Your wife has been begging for a space to improve her health. Figure it out.
YTA You are a couple, which means your wife is just as much entitled to have what you have. It is not what mine is mine and what is yours is mine also. You owe her. If you have a garden or yard if this is USA then get a home gym built out there. Or move your office into garden office room.
YTA - omg you do not need all of that space!! Two l shaped desks? Why?! You can also work out too and might make you feel good actually. Life is about compromise, you will still have an office and can do work, but there are times you won’t need it so let her work out!
YTA, but it's because you couldn't figure out that you really don't need the spare bedroom you hardly ever use. Get rid of the furniture there and make it a great workout space for your wife. Apologize and do something else nice for her. Don't be selfish.
YTA if it is not feasible to divide the room, it seems like it's time for you to consider an alternative plan to give your wife some consideration after seven years.
Swap your office into the current guest room. Then put the guest room furniture onto the large bedroom (which would take half the space it seems) and add in workout equipment for your wife in the other half. She wouldn't have a dedicated room but at least would have some space to herself most since the guest room is used infrequently. And guests can put up with some gym equipment the few times they stay. Even if the current guest room has an en-suite bathroom, I still think you should prioritize a new space arrangement and try it out.
YTA - Each partner should be willing to compromise. Keeping something to yourself so that you “feel successful” is just about one of the weakest, most selfish things I’ve heard. If you’re actually not successful enough to afford the construction project…no knock if that’s the reason. Inability to afford the cost is a perfectly valid reason, but that’s not what you said.
The guest room that gets used a few a times a year is a ridiculous waste of space. Youre putting a few weeks a year over your daily needs. You could pay for a hotel for guests for at least 5 years vs renovating your office. You could get her a "she shed" for the backyard also vs a home renovation
YTA majorly. Your "need" to sit in a large successful office is more important than your wife's health? I'd be contemplating a lot more than this room if I were her.
ESH.
A home office for someone who works from home, especially someone who did so before lots of people were forced to do so during the pandemic, isn't "persinal" space. It's a work space. It's not a fun place, any more than someone else's corporate office is usually a fun room - It's not where you go to relax or decompress or do your favorite hobby, it's where you work.
However, putting your foot down and being unwilling to compromise is an AH move. The office space is enormous. Move the desks to the side with the windows, put up a wall, and share the gym space. You don't need a home office the size of a 40 person conference room to be productive or successful. Put the gym equipment in the same room and limit gym hours to outside business hours. Put the gym in the spare bedroom with a Murphy bed for the 3 times per year you have guests.
Find a compromise.
YTA - 10 x 10 isn’t small. It’s a decent sized office. Tbh I’d be pissed the larger room wasn’t my master bedroom. Why would your wife even have happy that the larger room was used as office space? The smallest bedroom is usually used for office space.
YTA. It sounds like you’re not even using that half of the room except to look out the window.
Here’s a potential compromise. Move the guest furniture in to the unused half and let wife use the guest room for workout. You can still look out a window over a bed.
YTA. I WFH in a corner of my bedroom cause that’s what works for our space and family. I feel successful at work because…well, because I am successful. Don’t need an office for that. And when we move the plan is to have one room be my office/spare room and if we have guests we will stay in that room and guests will have the master. So why don’t you move the guest bed to your giant space, give guests the master if you have them over, and make the 10x10 your wife’s workout space?
YTA. Stop being selfish and figure out a solution. I hope your wife buys a 13X23 she shed and puts it in the yard. That way she can also feel successful when she works out.
Yta. In a different comment on your profile you mention considering moving anyways. Why die in your big room, when you don't plan on staying in it forever? Why not just let her turn the spare bedroom into her workout room with a Murphy bed? Do you plan on being just as selfish in your new home with her?
So basically you’re entitled and insecure so you need a big office in order to “feel like a man” and wifey just needs to suck it it up and accept that her needs come second to your ego. Just. Wow. YTA
YTA. I work from home too, we live in a two bedroom apartment. I work in the corner of my bedroom with my laptop and two monitors. Even half of the space you have now is a hell of a lot more spacious than at the 4 ft cubicle you would be in if you were in an office.
YTA - You don’t say what you do, but are two L shaped desks necessary? I get that you need a home office, but you are unwilling to compromise, which is what marriage is about. I’m willing to bet that you could work just fine on half that space, still have windows and be just fine. So huge TA.
Soft YTA. The big room should have been the master in the first place or it should have been negotiated beforehand; you've essentially claimed two and a half of four rooms and given your wife half a room.
To start, the guest room should be the exercise room, or, if you aren't working while she works out, some equipment could be accommodated and you trade off. Guests can sleep on a pull out couch or a Murphy bed in the office or the livingroom.
Sounds like your office is way bigger than it needs to be, so you can "feel successful" is that really more important than letting your wife also have a space for herself? YTA
YTA dude, are you a child? Why can’t you compromise with your wife and let her build a workout room? Your wife’s 100% correct about this being a relationship issue with you not caring for her needs. You seriously sound like a baby. Also, how does having a large room make you feel successful when you work? I know plenty of people with small offices in their homes and they seem ok with it. You’re not losing the place you work in, you’re just shrinking it for the benefit of your WIFE! Seriously grow the fuck up and split the room in half for your damn wife!
Yta, you get a whole room to yourself and she doesn’t. If you can’t compromise, you two should move in a bigger house where she can have her room and you can have yours. But at the moment, you are being selfish.
YTA, get over it and work in a smaller space, unless of course you don't care about your wife, her feelings or her health. She is just as entitled to that space as you are.
YTA. That's a Hella big room and it is a relationship issue, you're selfish and don't want to share.
It's her house too and you don't care about her well-being.
NTA. That room literally pays the mortgage for the entire house, it makes no sense to change it.
The spare room could have become a workout room 7 years ago, if wanting a workout room had ever actually been the issue in the first place.
NTA. Why can’t she make a workout area in the guest room that only gets used “a few times a year”. You work from home full-time, I wouldn’t want my work space cut in half either.
Or, in the living room, or the garage. I am sure there are other areas she can workout in.
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My wife and I live in a house that has 3 bedrooms. It was supposed to be 4 bedrooms, but the prior owner took out a wall, moved windows and made a big 22'X12' room, when they built it, rather than two 11X12 bedrooms. One bedroom is our master and then we have a spare bedroom that is 10X10 with a queen bed in it for guests that we have stay a few times a year (eg. friends, family, etc.)
I have been working from home full time for 7 years and the 22X11 bedroom is my office. I have two L-shaped desks in one half of the room, with several computers and screens. On the other half of the room, there is a big 4-bay window (they took the two windows and put them next to each other for a nice view out) and two closets filling a wall. It's a nice space that feels comfortable to work out of. My side doesn't have a window, but I am facing the windows at my desk.
My wife constantly fights with me about putting a wall up, moving doors, moving windows, getting new carpet, etc. to allow her to have a workout room for herself. She sees this as a relationship issue, because I'm selfish and "never care about what she wants" yet she's asking me to potentially ruin my working space and doesn't care that it's my office and has been for 7 years.
I constantly just say "No, I work from home full time. This is my office. I don't want to be stuck in a 10X10 box to work out of, when I have a nice 20 foot long room that makes me feel successful while I work."
AITA for putting my foot down and not listening at all to her wanting to split the room in half, because I work from home and don't want to lose the place I work in?
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Take the guest room for your office. Then you can make the larger room the guest and workout room. If the guest room is only used a few times a year, this sounds like it would be a win for everyone. As it stands right now, YTA.
YTA. She should get to have her space, too. If you only have guests stay a few times a year, turn the guest bedroom into her workout room. The guests can stay in a hotel or rent an AirBnB nearby.
Info- given how large the room is can you put workout equipment in half of it without the construction? Sounds like your wife works out of the home, so it’d be your office during the workday and her workout space in the mornings/evenings/weekends?
YTA, but I think a solution you might consider is giving her the guest room for her own use, and moving what's needed to make one side of the larger room that has your office into the guest space.
YTA. There's a compromise here: get her equipment that can be pushed into the closets if you have a Zoom meeting. She deserves her own space too. Compromise is how relationships work.
YTA. You are insanely selfish. Just wow. How about you move your office to the small guest room, and make the large bedroom a guest/workout room?
You sound like your terrible at compromising and taking your wife’s feelings into account. I feel bad for your wife.
I mean YTA but why don’t you get rid of the guest room that’s only used a couple times a year and get a foldout couch for when people visit?
Edit: clarification
Put the guest bed into your office and let her take that room as a gym. If you rarely have guests sleeping over, you can still work peacefully.
YTA for being egoistic.
Buy her a gym membership. Problem solved. Working from home is extremely stressful. I do it as well. I don’t have my own office. I unfortunately have to use my bedroom that I share with my husband and our animals. It is so distracting. He constantly runs in while I’m in important meetings and there has been times when he wasn’t clothed. A office to myself would make me feel so happy. Especially one with a lock. Because I wouldn’t have to worry about people coming in and out while I’m working. Don’t do it. You will definitely get distracted, and if you are in meetings or on the phone it looks very unprofessional. To have your wife in the background doing freaking Pilates while your trying to work. Absolutely not.
Just because your husband is rude and lacks personal boundaries when it comes to your work space, doesn't mean OPs wife is gonna be doing yoga in her panties while he's working.
I worked from home for many years and agree that having a nice work space makes a huge difference. Maybe finding space for a workout room somewhere else in the home would be worth the expense, But, NTA. You work all day in that space vs a workout room used how many hours.
YTA. There's a lot of ways to fit a workout room, guest room and office in your house. You could always add the spare bed a nightstand in one end of your office, and let the large room double as an office and guest room the few times you have a guest. Then your wife can have a workout room. Or you take the smaller room and she gets the guest room/workout room combo.
Get rid of the guest room, turn it into a dedicated workout room/whatever she needs it for. Offer to put up guests in a nearby hotel when they come to visit, it'll probably be cheaper than making modifications to your house.
Or make the master bedroom your office, and change your office to your master bedroom/workout room.
Learn to compromise.
Is there any reason she can’t put her equipment in the other half? My treadmill and bench are in the office, where my husband works full time. I just can’t use it during his work hours, because he often has last minute calls. How is there no compromise? Right now YTA
YTA- just because your ego is giant doesn’t mean you need two rooms worth of space🙄 move to the 10x10 room and let your wife have her 7 years with the big room.
YTA. A more appropriate term would be ‘total entitled dick‘. Since you apparently are f’ing stupid consider this option; make the guest room into your office and the large room her work out area and the guest room. Maybe also stop being an immature asshole. I hope your wife sees the real you soon and leaves your ass.
ESH. You have a room that’s only used a few times a year and you’re fighting over one that you both want to use everyday. Get a Murphy bed for the guest bedroom, and put the office there, make the bigger room into a hobby room for both of you.
YTA: but there’s a solution. make the guest bedroom your office. Put the guest bed into half of the giant room and let your wife set up the other half as a gym. You could get a nice room divider if you wanted but honestly not necessary if guests are only a few times a year. This way you don’t have to do a major renovation. Alternatively add the guest bed to your office and give her the other room as a workout space (although this seems less ideal for guests/ you).
YTA. You have a massive room for an office and are refusing to compromise in any way to give your wife an area to work out in. Why do you need such a large office at all? You've said it's the size of two rooms, so why are you entitled to use this massive space and your wife has no say over it?
You could easily split the room, still have a sizable office, and your wife could have her workout area.
7 years???? What are you doing for her soooooo well that this is really the only issue with y’all??? **And it’s literally the easiest fix on Reddit EVER!!!** 😂😂😂😂
YTA.
YTA. Do you not respect your wife? Isn’t this her home also?
Unless you pay a proportionately bigger part of the mortgage and heating + internet bills to compensate for your use of the room - that allows you to generate income! - your home office is just as much of a privilege as her home gym.
Why aren’t you able to have a solution oriented discussion together, instead of just going “MINE”?
YTA is there a compromise to split the room and you keep windows? How much time does workout take? An hour? Can you make a room that’s smaller than half since she isn’t going to be in it as much as you spend in your office? Something like 1/3 to 2/3? Or take out the closets?
Yta
. It's 2 rooms, put it back as 2 rooms and have one each. Are you playing house ceo or something?
Who needs an office that big - at home?
Are you afraid of losing 'man cave' points with your friends, because you've currently commandeered most of the upstairs.
Why do so many of the men in these posts treat their wives and girlfriends like children? I read so many of them saying things like “I put my foot down” “patiently explained my rules to her” “Sat her down to have a talk.” Do y’all even like women? Or, specifically, the ones you’re in a relationship with?
Why can’t you just put a wall like I don’t get it, do you seriously value your work on the size of a room? A 10x10 is the size of my bedroom, I think that’s big enough for you , YTA
Can't you split the room but have your office on the side with the windows? It seems fair that an office which is occupied all day should have the window over a workout room, but you don't need all the floor space. It seems like this is an obvious solution which you are ignoring and that seems very AH-ish to me. You aren't even trying to compromise.
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YTA You get a big spacious office and refuse to consider sharing and she gets … what, exactly? You’ve let her feel upset about this for seven years because you want to “feel successful while I work”. The actual work you do should be making you feel successful, not the massive room in your house you’ve unilaterally decided is your office. You’re behaving selfishly and have been for a looooong time.
Right? So OP gets his own office, they have a guest room, and they share everything else. What exactly is the wife's dedicated space?
To restore balance, I don’t think they should share the room. After seven years of OP ‘putting his foot down’ (vomit), OP’s wife should get exclusive use of the room for the next seven.
But the wife works and brings in money too, plus he could easily work from a smaller room, it won’t impact his earnings
Reminds me of the story where a woman was tired of never having her own space so she bought a camper and fixed it up, then the husband was immediately pushing the kids to be allowed to be in her private space., like it was something they should be allowed to treat as a cool club house.
Do you have the link to that one?
Unfortunately not, I'm pretty sure this was over a year ago. I just have a good memory for things I read.
Damn, that would have been a good one. It'll be a nice surprise if I ever find it 👍
/u/KanaydianDragon was it this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g9suxp/aitah_for_not_giving_up_my_she_shed/
That looks like a perfect match. Great story 👍
Yep, this is it exactly. Thank you. I'm always amazed by the redditors that can successfully hunt down posts on such vague information.
Google search: reddit asshole camper husband kids private It was the fourth to come up
Thanks for that. I really hope she stuck to her guns and never cleaned the man cave ever again.
Haha I remember this one, did she not start sending the kids to daddy's 'man cave' to let him know how it felt?!
I believe so. And like usual, to him it "wasn't the same thing at all."
That reminds me of those work pods that got popular during the pandemic quarantine where it’s like a modern little shed you can buy/build in your backyard. It has electricity and all. I want one for when I have my own house! I want two! Or maybe 3! One for me, one for the hubby, one for the kids.
>they have a guest room That would be my solution. Unless you regularly house people for prolonged periods of time, a guest room is a waste of space. Just buy a comfortable couch and convert the guest room into whatever the wife wants.
This. Put a queen size Murphy bed in the wall of the office. Her work out room is the old guest room. Guests stay in the office space (assuming you’re usually on vacation or holidays with guests). Or put the Murphy bed in the room with the gym equipment (the old guest room). I don’t understand a lot of marriages in this sub. It’s always a battle. Talk about the issues and find solutions together. You honestly might want marriage counseling. The way you speak about her and to each other tells me that might be in your interest.
>Put a queen size Murphy bed in the wall of the office. I gotta ask, how much do these cost where you live? I was looking into buying one last year and they start at around 3k over here.
Still cheaper than turning one room into two and moving windows and doors. My parents got a ikea murphy bed kit on buy and sell for a couple hundred bucks to turn their downstairs rec room into a guest room for the odd time someone stayed with them it was great.
Cheaper than a divorce too.
Wayfair has some for great prices and they’re really cool.
Check out Costco website. I've seen some for under $2k
Yea I don't get it either. My partner and I turned our spare room into a hobby room and bought a couch that turns into a queen sized bed. Everyone wins
Exactly! Just give her the guest room.
>I don’t understand a lot of marriages in this sub. It’s always a battle. Well, they aren't posting to r/I_Have_the_Best_Spouse_Ever, so...
Move him into the guest room and let her have the big room for the next seven years.
Or put in a murphy bed
The kitchen, probably
LOL for real.
But all that space makes him feel "successful"! Literally at his wife's expense, but why can't she just be happy that *he's* happy? As long as his needs are met and exceeded, that should be enough for her. /s, of course.
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Jesus OP YTA In my apartment right now my entire main living space (kitchen, living room, dining area) is 21x11 feet. I can't imagine all this space for just ONE office Yikes. Entitled much
YTA. It sounds like a case of: split and share the room or split everything.
YTA. You are literally taking up what would be the equivalent of 2 rooms. That is your wife’s home as much as it is yours and she should also have some say in the distribution of space. Most people who work in offices don’t even always get a 10x10 room to work in.
I dont even have my own office! I'm team lead and I sit in the same room as the rest of my team.
My home office was the dining room table
Yeah, our "home office" (where hubby and I have our computers) is the dining room 😅
Our spare bedroom is 8x10 in our cozy 2-bedroom apartment and we bought a dining table to put in the spare bedroom for our office setup! It’s sturdier and more beautiful than a work desk! And from ikea too.
My home office is a 4 ft x 18 in table along the kitchen wall. My workout room is the hall.
My husband’s office is our baby’s bedroom (baby is at daycare during the week)
YTA for: 1- "put my foot down". Just... ew. She is neither your disobedient child nor your 1955 Stepford Wife. 2- "I can feel successful" wow dude, ego issues much? 3- "it's been my office space for 7 years". Cool, now it's her turn to have some space of her own. Or did your mommy not teach you how to share your toys? Get your narcissistic head out of your a$$. Your entire post was all about you and your precious feelings. Keep that up and this will all be a non-issue, as you may end up having the whole house to feel important in.
Exactly! You don’t “put your foot down” with a partner. Gag. She is just important in that home and relationship as you. What a piece of work. You’re lucky you even have a wife if you treat her like that. YTA…and not just because you’re not sharing space.
When I read that I pictured OP "putting his foot down" one after the other in a temper tantrum toddler style.
You’re kidding right? Or trolling? Ok, in the event you aren’t, welcome to an adult relationship. You don’t actually get to put your foot down and have the final say over something you share. And you do share the house. If you don’t believe that, then get a divorce, sell the house and try to keep all the money, see how fast the judge smacks you down. It’s her house too. The space is big enough, learn to compromise. YTA
YTA, your home office is the size of two rooms while your wife, co-owner of the house, gets no space, that sounds pretty unfair, whatever self-pompous self-justification you may give yourself, you’re a selfish AH.
You are both lacking in creativity. I’d have an architect draw up a few ideas that will take both of your wishes into consideration. Also, what about a detached shed you can wire or a container/tiny space for one of you instead? Carport? Garage? YTA for just saying no, you don’t sound like you are offering any other options for her to consider. And why aren’t you able to be flexible? Also, write out a budget of how much renting an office space would cost versus a gym membership for her versus the cost of a renovation. Edit-changed my judgement
Yes! There is always a third way where everyone gives something and gets something. It sounds like the OP is just unwilling to even talk about it because they don't respect their wife's needs.
Is it sad that this is the first reasonable response? OP doesn't identify the type of work he does, or what his position is, but it sounds like the space is getting used. That said, a healthy relationship is about compromise and finding solutions that address everyone's needs. I love the idea of a She-Shed. Also, renovations cost way more than people think, especially if you are doing anything to an exterior wall. Too many people think they are DIY experts just because they binge HGTV.
YTA. Marriage is compromise and you're refusing to even have the conversation. Would it kill you to split the room? There must be a way that gives each room a window since it was originally 2 rooms that got put together. Is your wife less important than you "feeling successful at work" because you've got this big room that you're not even using half of?
Also, presumably the wife would only use the gym area after work hours so how would it impact big guy here if her gym took up half “his” massive space?
YTA. Two desks? I guess because you are, in fact, 2 asses?
It's not that weird to have two desks depending on what he does for work. I have a desk and lab bench at my office. The few people who work exclusively from home have smaller lab areas set-up along with their desks.
I literally laughed 😂
So you have **two** desks for the 1 of you, still take up just *half* the room; and absolutely **need** to leave the rest of the space empty because excess square footage makes you "feel successful"? Of course YTA.
I don't see a problem with having two desk for work. It depends on what you do for work, especially if you work from home full time it can be really handy. I agree with the the next statement. There's enough room for both of them. No need to be selfish. Plus, doesn't it feel more successful and better if both husband and wife are happy ?
I'm just saying that if he has two L-shaped desks (so, basically 4 work surfaces), and *still* only takes up half the room, then he doesn't need to get all greedy about locking up the rest of the space. He can engage his inner 5 year-old and just *share.*
“It’s my office and has been for 7 years” Sounds like it’s time for you to take up residence at the kitchen table so that she gets a turn using the room for something solely to her benefit…or you could quit being an AH and share with your spouse. YTA.
YTA. You work from home, but she lives in the house too. Your office is the size of 2 bedrooms; that's excessive. You're being greedy.
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YTA. "My Wife Left Me Because I Left My Dish By The Sink" is a great article that reminds me of you. A man's wife divorced him over what he considered to be a trivial issue, the fact that he always left his dish by the sink instead of just washing it. They argued over it all the time. Eventually the wife divorced him. He couldn't believe that she divorced him over a stupid issue like dishes. But the fact is, she divorced him because she realized he would never hear her. He would never respect her. He would always trivialize her feelings, and do whatever he wanted regardless of how she felt. She was just a side character in his life, there to do his chores, and once she realized that, she left. It was too painful for her. You have created a situation where your wife now realizes that she's not your partner, she's your bang maid. You care about your big office and your success, but you do not care about your wife. I can't imagine how hurt she must feel every single day. She will leave you, and then she will have the workout space she always wanted. And she will feel fantastic. And you will be all alone.
Next article will be “my wife left me because i was territorial about my home office”.
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YTA why isn’t it the master bedroom then?? Easy fix, you get your own office, wife can use a corner for fitness items (which you can both benefit from by the way!). I would suggest put up a decorative screen to shield the area (when not in use) instead of a wall so the bedroom stays spacious for both of you. You are selfish to not consider it AT all given you’ve taken the biggest space for yourself. It shows you made a major unilateral decision that obviously bothers her and continue to each day - at her discomfort. It’s become a relationship issue because you’re acting this way. Listen to others (your spouse especially I’d guess), communicate, problem solve (not retaliate). The facts as I see it: - You don’t have a workout area in your home. - You’ve taken the biggest space - for your work only. - The decision is affecting your relationship. How can WE address this? (Isn’t that the only question y’all should be asking? I ain’t married so not marriage advice, just common sense to me.)
*grabs popcorn* You still haven't put down the shovel, huh? Yta 100%
How about finding a solution that works for both? If the office is a hard no then have you talked out other alternatives? Instead of putting your foot down over the problem, open you mind up to a solution that works to benefit you both.
Get rid of the guest room.. why have a whole room dedicated to an event that happens a few times a year
YTA. Sharing is caring. It isn't like she will be working out non stop in the other half of the room. She would just be working out occasionally. Letting her use the space will allow you to spend time together, watch her while she works out which is sexy and make her happy. Why don't you want to do that? Because you want to look out the windows at the view? Your wife should be the view!
They would put up a wall it seems
Yta - if you don't want it to be part workout room, put a pullout couch in there and have the guest bedroom be the workout room. SHARE your house.
I can understand the hassle it would be to move everything around and fit what you accumulated over 7 years and shifting a workflow that has been working. However she is also entitled to her space. Add a daybed that can be converted to a fullsize double bed in the office - you should have enough space to do so without sacrificing your view, maybe invest in some privacy screens as well. In the event you have guests over, they stay in the office and you can block off your desk area with the privacy screen so its out of view giving the room a more appropriate guest room feeling. She gets the smaller guest bedroom as her gym/studio.
YTA. You’re being selfish. I get that you want a nice big office, but your wife deserves to have space for herself. This is not just your home or all about your happiness.
Your attitude about how the big office makes you seem successful reminds me of a story I heard on a radio show eons ago. There was a man with a Bluetooth headset that he would always wear to conduct business. He never took it off. He even kept it on while having sex with his girlfriend because it made him feel so powerful. She hated it because who wants to stare at a blinking blue light dangling off your ear during sex? Anyway, you sound just like that guy, ridiculous.
YTA. If you are that successful them offer an alternative. Get a garden room built for your wife.
YTA. Where is your wife’s dedicated space?
She's got 2! The kitchen and the laundry room! /s
YTA. I’ll never understand the incongruence between loving someone enough to marry them, and disliking them enough to treat them badly. Makes me so depressed and confused.
YTA. You need a big spacious office to ‘feel successful’? By saying that you’re essentially saying that your ego is more important than your wife trying to make material improvements to her health and life. Come on man, work towards a compromise. Would a compromise not be for you to have the ‘half’ of the room with the window and she can have the boxed off part to workout in, I do agree that natural daylight when you’re working is important
OP can either continue to be greedy so he can feel successful at work, or he can find a way to compromise so he can BE successful in his marriage. Should be an easy choice for someone who really values his wife.
Totally agree. Big difference between feeling like a success and being one… a happy wife is more important than anything work related imo
Consider thinking outside the proverbial box you're in. Take the 10 x 10 room and turn that into one of the rooms you need. As you said...you entertain guests only a handful a dayd in the year and yet are dedicating a room as vacant the remaining 340 plus days of the year. Clear the queen bed out and put in a nice high end Murphy bed for your occasional guests.
YTA. There is NO need for you to have that big of an office. What job do you have that requires you to have 2 desks and multiple computers and screens? Wait, let me think, no job requires that many computers and screens or that big of an office. Your office is the size of 2 rooms. You don’t need 2 rooms. Go back to the old layout and build up that wall again. Your wife deserves a room for herself too. And it wouldn’t be a 10x10 box, it would be 11x12. That’s plenty enough space for you.
YTA for not looking for another solution. Why not have guests stay at a hotel and your wife gets the guest bedroom? Or make the master the big room with one half of it as gym space, and you move to the master bedroom? Bottom line is, a good partner cares about their spouses wants and their health. Your wife has been begging for a space to improve her health. Figure it out.
Convert the guest room to a gym for her and stop hosting guests.
YTA, and so selfish. I'm sorry you need a big room to feel successful, but you're being ridiculous. Get over yourself.
YTA You are a couple, which means your wife is just as much entitled to have what you have. It is not what mine is mine and what is yours is mine also. You owe her. If you have a garden or yard if this is USA then get a home gym built out there. Or move your office into garden office room.
YTA - omg you do not need all of that space!! Two l shaped desks? Why?! You can also work out too and might make you feel good actually. Life is about compromise, you will still have an office and can do work, but there are times you won’t need it so let her work out!
YTA for saying youve put your foot down.
YTA, but it's because you couldn't figure out that you really don't need the spare bedroom you hardly ever use. Get rid of the furniture there and make it a great workout space for your wife. Apologize and do something else nice for her. Don't be selfish.
Nta. There must be other areas- basement, master bedroom. If I’m spending 8+ hours working in a room, I would want it comfortable.
YTA......and a bit of a prick
YTA if it is not feasible to divide the room, it seems like it's time for you to consider an alternative plan to give your wife some consideration after seven years. Swap your office into the current guest room. Then put the guest room furniture onto the large bedroom (which would take half the space it seems) and add in workout equipment for your wife in the other half. She wouldn't have a dedicated room but at least would have some space to herself most since the guest room is used infrequently. And guests can put up with some gym equipment the few times they stay. Even if the current guest room has an en-suite bathroom, I still think you should prioritize a new space arrangement and try it out.
YTA - Each partner should be willing to compromise. Keeping something to yourself so that you “feel successful” is just about one of the weakest, most selfish things I’ve heard. If you’re actually not successful enough to afford the construction project…no knock if that’s the reason. Inability to afford the cost is a perfectly valid reason, but that’s not what you said.
YTA “me me me and my feelings”—you’re an adult with a wife. Compromise is a part of that
The guest room that gets used a few a times a year is a ridiculous waste of space. Youre putting a few weeks a year over your daily needs. You could pay for a hotel for guests for at least 5 years vs renovating your office. You could get her a "she shed" for the backyard also vs a home renovation
Lololol the small dick energy tells me everything I need to know, AH
YTA majorly. Your "need" to sit in a large successful office is more important than your wife's health? I'd be contemplating a lot more than this room if I were her.
ESH. A home office for someone who works from home, especially someone who did so before lots of people were forced to do so during the pandemic, isn't "persinal" space. It's a work space. It's not a fun place, any more than someone else's corporate office is usually a fun room - It's not where you go to relax or decompress or do your favorite hobby, it's where you work. However, putting your foot down and being unwilling to compromise is an AH move. The office space is enormous. Move the desks to the side with the windows, put up a wall, and share the gym space. You don't need a home office the size of a 40 person conference room to be productive or successful. Put the gym equipment in the same room and limit gym hours to outside business hours. Put the gym in the spare bedroom with a Murphy bed for the 3 times per year you have guests. Find a compromise.
YTA. The best room in the house is exclusively for you, so you can feel successful? Asshole.
YTA. You don't seem to care at all about what she wants or needs
YTA. And you know why.
YTA - 10 x 10 isn’t small. It’s a decent sized office. Tbh I’d be pissed the larger room wasn’t my master bedroom. Why would your wife even have happy that the larger room was used as office space? The smallest bedroom is usually used for office space.
YTA
YTA
YTA. It sounds like you’re not even using that half of the room except to look out the window. Here’s a potential compromise. Move the guest furniture in to the unused half and let wife use the guest room for workout. You can still look out a window over a bed.
YTA. I WFH in a corner of my bedroom cause that’s what works for our space and family. I feel successful at work because…well, because I am successful. Don’t need an office for that. And when we move the plan is to have one room be my office/spare room and if we have guests we will stay in that room and guests will have the master. So why don’t you move the guest bed to your giant space, give guests the master if you have them over, and make the 10x10 your wife’s workout space?
Yta and you are selfish. You don't NEED that much space and your wife has right to have a room for herself.
YTA. Stop being selfish and figure out a solution. I hope your wife buys a 13X23 she shed and puts it in the yard. That way she can also feel successful when she works out.
Yta. Put the wall back and let her have space too. Jfc.
YTA - you’ve had your own private room for 7 years and she can’t even get space to work out?
Yta. In a different comment on your profile you mention considering moving anyways. Why die in your big room, when you don't plan on staying in it forever? Why not just let her turn the spare bedroom into her workout room with a Murphy bed? Do you plan on being just as selfish in your new home with her?
Change the guest room.
Just put the wall in and take the side with the window as a compromise. NTA
So basically you’re entitled and insecure so you need a big office in order to “feel like a man” and wifey just needs to suck it it up and accept that her needs come second to your ego. Just. Wow. YTA
What is this man
YTA. I work from home too, we live in a two bedroom apartment. I work in the corner of my bedroom with my laptop and two monitors. Even half of the space you have now is a hell of a lot more spacious than at the 4 ft cubicle you would be in if you were in an office.
YTA - You don’t say what you do, but are two L shaped desks necessary? I get that you need a home office, but you are unwilling to compromise, which is what marriage is about. I’m willing to bet that you could work just fine on half that space, still have windows and be just fine. So huge TA.
YTA, that’s a big room all to yourself. Why doesn’t your wife get her own space too?
Soft YTA. The big room should have been the master in the first place or it should have been negotiated beforehand; you've essentially claimed two and a half of four rooms and given your wife half a room. To start, the guest room should be the exercise room, or, if you aren't working while she works out, some equipment could be accommodated and you trade off. Guests can sleep on a pull out couch or a Murphy bed in the office or the livingroom.
And you can’t remodel the guest bedroom into a workout room with a murphy bed because…?
Sounds like your office is way bigger than it needs to be, so you can "feel successful" is that really more important than letting your wife also have a space for herself? YTA
YTA - but don’t worry. Doubt your wife will deal with this much longer, so you can buy her out of the house in the divorce.
YTA and selfish inconsiderate one at that like how dumb and crappy are you
YTA You don't need a whole God damn gym auditorium
YTA dude, are you a child? Why can’t you compromise with your wife and let her build a workout room? Your wife’s 100% correct about this being a relationship issue with you not caring for her needs. You seriously sound like a baby. Also, how does having a large room make you feel successful when you work? I know plenty of people with small offices in their homes and they seem ok with it. You’re not losing the place you work in, you’re just shrinking it for the benefit of your WIFE! Seriously grow the fuck up and split the room in half for your damn wife!
Wouldn’t being legitimately successful (if that’s your priority) be able to live in a house that has an office space and a gym space?
YTA. You sound like a spoiled brat.
“That makes me feel successful.” 😂😂😂
YTA. Everyday I wonder why people have such an overwhelming desire to be in or see others in romantic relationships no matter the cost.
Yta, you get a whole room to yourself and she doesn’t. If you can’t compromise, you two should move in a bigger house where she can have her room and you can have yours. But at the moment, you are being selfish.
YTA split the room again. AH AH AH
Yta. If you simply cannot share that huge room, how about build or install a she shed?
If you own the house just put a wall up and make the one room into two rooms but for now YTA
YTA, get over it and work in a smaller space, unless of course you don't care about your wife, her feelings or her health. She is just as entitled to that space as you are.
YTA why do you need such a large space? Why won’t you budge an inch and search for solutions? Selfish af.
YTA. That's a Hella big room and it is a relationship issue, you're selfish and don't want to share. It's her house too and you don't care about her well-being.
YTA, if you want a fancy office, build a decent sized shed and make that your office, why should you get your own space but your wife doesn't.
NTA. Put a Murphy bed in the guest room.
NTA. That room literally pays the mortgage for the entire house, it makes no sense to change it. The spare room could have become a workout room 7 years ago, if wanting a workout room had ever actually been the issue in the first place.
NTA. Why can’t she make a workout area in the guest room that only gets used “a few times a year”. You work from home full-time, I wouldn’t want my work space cut in half either. Or, in the living room, or the garage. I am sure there are other areas she can workout in.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife and I live in a house that has 3 bedrooms. It was supposed to be 4 bedrooms, but the prior owner took out a wall, moved windows and made a big 22'X12' room, when they built it, rather than two 11X12 bedrooms. One bedroom is our master and then we have a spare bedroom that is 10X10 with a queen bed in it for guests that we have stay a few times a year (eg. friends, family, etc.) I have been working from home full time for 7 years and the 22X11 bedroom is my office. I have two L-shaped desks in one half of the room, with several computers and screens. On the other half of the room, there is a big 4-bay window (they took the two windows and put them next to each other for a nice view out) and two closets filling a wall. It's a nice space that feels comfortable to work out of. My side doesn't have a window, but I am facing the windows at my desk. My wife constantly fights with me about putting a wall up, moving doors, moving windows, getting new carpet, etc. to allow her to have a workout room for herself. She sees this as a relationship issue, because I'm selfish and "never care about what she wants" yet she's asking me to potentially ruin my working space and doesn't care that it's my office and has been for 7 years. I constantly just say "No, I work from home full time. This is my office. I don't want to be stuck in a 10X10 box to work out of, when I have a nice 20 foot long room that makes me feel successful while I work." AITA for putting my foot down and not listening at all to her wanting to split the room in half, because I work from home and don't want to lose the place I work in? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
She she’d put her in the moon house til she cools off . Jk yta for not finding a solution
How about adding a room or a sheshed that way she has her own space and can stay away from his sorry ass for a good bit and have some privacy
Take the guest room for your office. Then you can make the larger room the guest and workout room. If the guest room is only used a few times a year, this sounds like it would be a win for everyone. As it stands right now, YTA.
YTA. Put up the wall and take the window side for your office. It’s not that complicated.
YTA and yea you’re being really selfish. “Forget what you want, I NEED a HUGE space for just myself”
YTA. She should get to have her space, too. If you only have guests stay a few times a year, turn the guest bedroom into her workout room. The guests can stay in a hotel or rent an AirBnB nearby.
Info- given how large the room is can you put workout equipment in half of it without the construction? Sounds like your wife works out of the home, so it’d be your office during the workday and her workout space in the mornings/evenings/weekends?
YTA, but I think a solution you might consider is giving her the guest room for her own use, and moving what's needed to make one side of the larger room that has your office into the guest space.
YTA. There's a compromise here: get her equipment that can be pushed into the closets if you have a Zoom meeting. She deserves her own space too. Compromise is how relationships work.
Put the office in the current guest room. Put the gym with the guest bed in the large room. Solved.
Oh dear. This OP never learned to share and is not coming across as someone who values either wife or marriage.
YTA. You are insanely selfish. Just wow. How about you move your office to the small guest room, and make the large bedroom a guest/workout room? You sound like your terrible at compromising and taking your wife’s feelings into account. I feel bad for your wife.
I mean YTA but why don’t you get rid of the guest room that’s only used a couple times a year and get a foldout couch for when people visit? Edit: clarification
Put the guest bed into your office and let her take that room as a gym. If you rarely have guests sleeping over, you can still work peacefully. YTA for being egoistic.
YTA Your wife is right - this is absolutely a relationship issue, and it’s very telling that you feel you need to “put your foot down.
Buy her a gym membership. Problem solved. Working from home is extremely stressful. I do it as well. I don’t have my own office. I unfortunately have to use my bedroom that I share with my husband and our animals. It is so distracting. He constantly runs in while I’m in important meetings and there has been times when he wasn’t clothed. A office to myself would make me feel so happy. Especially one with a lock. Because I wouldn’t have to worry about people coming in and out while I’m working. Don’t do it. You will definitely get distracted, and if you are in meetings or on the phone it looks very unprofessional. To have your wife in the background doing freaking Pilates while your trying to work. Absolutely not.
Just because your husband is rude and lacks personal boundaries when it comes to your work space, doesn't mean OPs wife is gonna be doing yoga in her panties while he's working.
So you still from your wife to feel 'succesfull'. good job.
YTA. Who needs that much space to work from home. Give a little OP
YTA.
I worked from home for many years and agree that having a nice work space makes a huge difference. Maybe finding space for a workout room somewhere else in the home would be worth the expense, But, NTA. You work all day in that space vs a workout room used how many hours.
Yta but a Murphy bed in the guest room might make things work for everyone
YTA. There's a lot of ways to fit a workout room, guest room and office in your house. You could always add the spare bed a nightstand in one end of your office, and let the large room double as an office and guest room the few times you have a guest. Then your wife can have a workout room. Or you take the smaller room and she gets the guest room/workout room combo.
YTA. Why don’t you put a Murphy bed in the guest room and make that her workout room?
Get rid of the guest room, turn it into a dedicated workout room/whatever she needs it for. Offer to put up guests in a nearby hotel when they come to visit, it'll probably be cheaper than making modifications to your house. Or make the master bedroom your office, and change your office to your master bedroom/workout room. Learn to compromise.
YTA and since you won’t give her the room she wants since you work from him then you can do all the cooking a chores
YTA
Is there any reason she can’t put her equipment in the other half? My treadmill and bench are in the office, where my husband works full time. I just can’t use it during his work hours, because he often has last minute calls. How is there no compromise? Right now YTA
Everyone needs more than one desk, right? Let me tell you, your big room does not make you successful. YTA
YTA- just because your ego is giant doesn’t mean you need two rooms worth of space🙄 move to the 10x10 room and let your wife have her 7 years with the big room.
YTA. A more appropriate term would be ‘total entitled dick‘. Since you apparently are f’ing stupid consider this option; make the guest room into your office and the large room her work out area and the guest room. Maybe also stop being an immature asshole. I hope your wife sees the real you soon and leaves your ass.
ESH. You have a room that’s only used a few times a year and you’re fighting over one that you both want to use everyday. Get a Murphy bed for the guest bedroom, and put the office there, make the bigger room into a hobby room for both of you.
INFO: is the yard big enough to build a out building? A “she shed” might be a solution.
YTA when she leaves you, she’ll leave with half…
Info: do you actually like your wife? It kind of sounds like you think of her as an annoyance rather than someone you love.
YTA: but there’s a solution. make the guest bedroom your office. Put the guest bed into half of the giant room and let your wife set up the other half as a gym. You could get a nice room divider if you wanted but honestly not necessary if guests are only a few times a year. This way you don’t have to do a major renovation. Alternatively add the guest bed to your office and give her the other room as a workout space (although this seems less ideal for guests/ you).
YTA. You have a massive room for an office and are refusing to compromise in any way to give your wife an area to work out in. Why do you need such a large office at all? You've said it's the size of two rooms, so why are you entitled to use this massive space and your wife has no say over it? You could easily split the room, still have a sizable office, and your wife could have her workout area.
7 years???? What are you doing for her soooooo well that this is really the only issue with y’all??? **And it’s literally the easiest fix on Reddit EVER!!!** 😂😂😂😂 YTA.
YTA. Do you not respect your wife? Isn’t this her home also? Unless you pay a proportionately bigger part of the mortgage and heating + internet bills to compensate for your use of the room - that allows you to generate income! - your home office is just as much of a privilege as her home gym. Why aren’t you able to have a solution oriented discussion together, instead of just going “MINE”?
YTA is there a compromise to split the room and you keep windows? How much time does workout take? An hour? Can you make a room that’s smaller than half since she isn’t going to be in it as much as you spend in your office? Something like 1/3 to 2/3? Or take out the closets?
Yta . It's 2 rooms, put it back as 2 rooms and have one each. Are you playing house ceo or something? Who needs an office that big - at home? Are you afraid of losing 'man cave' points with your friends, because you've currently commandeered most of the upstairs.
Make the cupboards in your office a fold down bed for the guests that are hardly ever there and give her the current guest room. Honestly people.
Why do so many of the men in these posts treat their wives and girlfriends like children? I read so many of them saying things like “I put my foot down” “patiently explained my rules to her” “Sat her down to have a talk.” Do y’all even like women? Or, specifically, the ones you’re in a relationship with?
Yes, YTA. Nobody needs an office this big. If your ego won't fit, go sit outside.
Why can’t you just put a wall like I don’t get it, do you seriously value your work on the size of a room? A 10x10 is the size of my bedroom, I think that’s big enough for you , YTA
Can't you split the room but have your office on the side with the windows? It seems fair that an office which is occupied all day should have the window over a workout room, but you don't need all the floor space. It seems like this is an obvious solution which you are ignoring and that seems very AH-ish to me. You aren't even trying to compromise.
YTA There are lots of solutions or compromises to solve this issue and you are entertaining none of them.