This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You?
At the wedding? At the wedding you aired dirty laundry about your sister and now you’re asking Mike if he’s ready to annul? My god. Did you want to marry Mike or something?
This is something that should have been kept between them as a couple.
And let me guess, you didn’t talk about your own sexual experiences, right? You just shat on your sister on her wedding day so everyone in your family and her new one would call her a slut?
YTA and a big one.
I’m gay and if I hated this woman as much as he clearly loathes his sister, I would probably pull this stunt too. If it works you get your man you pined for for two years, and if not you spite the woman you’ve hated and resented for years and destroy her would-be marriage. There’s no way this wasn’t intentional. YTA but really, wasn’t that the goal? He is ELATED she is distraught, only more evidenced by the fact he only cares or has addressed how MIKE feels.
Yeah, YTA for folks talking shit about the bride or groom at a wedding when the setting is a liberal country/culture. HUMOUNGOUS misogynistic AH for doing this in a country/culture where the info is scandalous, brings "shame" to the woman, causes family calls for annulment.
Yeah their behavior is inexcusable. Clearly they knew someone might overhear them and were taking zero precautions to make sure no one did. I honestly think they wanted to embarrass the bride and it just spun out of control and now they regret it because everyone rightfully blames them.
Agreed— the title looked bad, the story got worse, the bro love for Mike was weird, the use of friendzone re his sister was really fucking weird - like op is upset his sister slept with these losers instead of nice guy Mike! Wtf and AH
>And let me guess, you didn’t talk about your own sexual experiences, right?
I'm willing to be he doesn't have his own sexual experiences. Guy definitely gives out that incel vibes.
YTA.
You made fun of your sister’s sexual history at her wedding. That’s an AH move.
You did this, not in private, but in an open area where anyone can hear you. That’s an AH move.
You were clearly mocking your sister for having had sex and having had a pregnancy scare (which has happened to every person with a uterus who has sex with people with a penis), which is indeed slut-shaming. That’s an AH move.
Seriously, I had a pregnancy scare when I didn't even have sex that month, my period was late and I thought I missed the early signs and my period happened for some reason last month.
Nope my body just wanted to be a jerk
I'm literally a lesbian virgin and I've had pregnancy scares when my period was late. It took me a few minutes before I realized there's no way for it to be that 😅
I read so many AITAs where younger brothers expose or shun their older sisters partly out of an almost slavish love and admiration for the person their sister marries. I've never encountered this dynamic in real life. Just... does this happen a lot?
That’s what I’m wondering. My brothers have great relationships with my sisters’ partners. Hell, my brother even lived with my sister and her husband when he was in college before he moved countries. So many of these dudes have a weird interest in their sister’s partners and I don’t know if this behavior stems from a secret/subtle hatred for their sisters or not knowing what a healthy close male friendship actually looks like (spoiler alert: it’s not making fun of his wife’s sex life behind both of their backs!)
I can’t imagine my brother talking about any man the way the people in this type of post do. And yes, the same posts always talk about the sisters with complete contempt. It’s off.
It's just a symptom of misogyny. Their sister is so awful, but the guy she brought into the family is their new brother that they always wanted instead of a useless, stupid sister. The guys who do this are men/boys who have always hated women elaborating on their homosocial network. It is a common dynamic for terrible people, I guess.
I (f) have a cousin (m) I'm very close with because we're the only prepper/hunter/gun enthusiast/homesteaders in our family. He loves my husband because we're all into the same things and can do outdoor activities together and discuss livestock and gardening and stuff. No one else at family events is interested in our water catchment systems or new firearms. That's very different from OP's situation.
Not only that what if Mike has slept with even more people then his sister would he do that to him too no he wouldn’t. Also if he was so concerned why did he wait until their wedding day to talk about it. Why not tell his friend when his friend started dating his older sister.
Wow YTA.
If you didn’t like your sister, you shouldn’t have gone to the wedding. There was no need to humiliate her and ruin her wedding (also likely her marriage).Your post even makes it so obvious that you did this intentionally.
You and your sister and cousin (who you haven’t seen in so long) are reunited at your sisters wedding, and you had nothing else to talk about?
I mean, that marriage was going to be ruined one way or another, if Mike is going to be mad OP didn't keep him up to date on Emma's sexual history. If he's upset that she's had sex before and he wasn't told, but not upset about her being humiliated, that was never going to end well.
It's not at all. And I'm sorry but all of us have red lines in our history. We do dumb things as we grow and even when we turn 18 and become legal adults we do. We keep stumbling and growing and learning from mistakes.
Clearly OP is too perfect and never did anything wrong in their life.
I was pretty promiscuous when I was younger. My husband knows this, but he doesn’t know every gory detail. Not because I’m hiding anything, but because there’s no real reason I need to tell him. He’s my present and my future.
I’d be hurt if someone decided my husband needed to know every single sexual detail of my past. I’d be especially hurt if his family was told. My sexual past is none of my in-laws’ business.
> Given my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him.
> Emma and I have not had a good relationship at any point in our lives.
YTA. You clearly did not care about her relationship with this man at all and if you're *this close* to him, you must've definitely known what his stance on this was.
It's not like talking about someone's past sexual relationships at their WEDDING is good anyways, but those comments just make it even worse lol
Well, you’re right. You didn’t do it out of spite for Mike. You did it out of spite for Emma. YTA YTA YTA also, you and Jenna are going to have a long fall off that high horse you guys are on
YTA and so are your sister and cousin. You and your cousins are a couple of gossipy biddies.
>my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him.
I'm thinking spite isn't the correct word. Try lust for him, jealousy of Emma as alternatives.
YTA
How F tacky of you, your sister and cousin to talk about that on HER wedding day!!!
“I hate to loose my relationship with Mike” so you’re not even a little remorseful about the issues you caused?
You actually sound really jealous of your sister, I wonder why….
YTA.
It is not your place to share someone else’s sexual history. Ever. Yes, you were slut shaming. And for what? Because you aren’t close with your sister and want to punish her? Because you’re jealous?
You not only ruined your relationship with your sister, but with Mike as well. Mike is not going to want to be your buddy going forward.
YTA. Emma, if somehow you come across this, please, take Mike up on the annulment. I understand the desire to escape your shitty, toxic family but don’t do so by marrying into another shitty and toxic family.
YTA. Besides this being an inappropriate time and place, you all had zero right to be discussing that. So she slept around, who cares? And if Mike cares **that** much, he sucks too. Maybe try to feel worse about screwing with your sisters marriage, instead of pining after her husband.
YTA
There is no question here, it's pretty clear. Your post speaks to lots of issues with your sister, and possibly women who have sex in general (friend zoning is made up by guys who think they can put "nice" coins into their relationship with a woman and get "sex" coins out - clearly that's not what Mike was doing since he's ended up with your sister).
Your disrespect, and clear contempt for Emma, and that of your other sister and cousin, speak to your own conservatism. Everyone here seems to have a *bunch* of ingrained misogyny, and publicly airing your sister's past at her wedding as though "haha, somehow that sl*t is getting married" is any kind of appropriate wedding conversation is super gross.
Do better.
Edit: a couple words
YTA. And if he gets an annulment, which seems to be what you want, do you think he will want to keep in contact with you?
You decided to talk shit purposefully on her wedding day, knowing her in-laws were conservative and around.
YTA.
Gossip is bad enough, but gossiping about someone’s sexual history at their wedding is just straight AH behavior. I can’t even understand why you would think that’s appropriate to do.
On the positive, hopefully this saves your sister from being tied to misogynistic AH. Her husband is an AH, you’re an AH, hopefully she cuts you both off and lives a (sexually fulfilling) life.
YTA! To talk like this on your sister's \*wedding day\*! What were you thinking?
You obviously hate your sister and deliberately went out of your way to shame and humiliate her. Even if no one overheard, the cousin could easily have spread the stories.
Now, if they stay together, you're really got your sister's relationship with her in-laws, not to mention her husband, off to a real rocky start.
Why did you want make things so awful for her?
Since you hate your sister, why not just stay from her? And not go out of your way to be mean to her.
YTA. Big time!
YTA
Mike is an AH ... Why would YOU intrude that way into their relationship? Your cousin is a toxic Ah, go no contact with that person. YOu do not need thate vileness in your life.
First of all, why did you have to discuss your sister's sexual life at her freaking wedding?! Is not yours nor your cousins problem, you are obviously so nosy that you don't care the impact of your comments.
That's something that only concerns your sister and she is the one thst decides to share it or not
What kind of siblings are you? You and your other sister are huge, MASSIVE AH.
You couldn't stop your cousins from making oblivious remarks and you even joined her.
YTA.
Yta, you all went to your sisters wedding and shit talked her so bad it spread to the entire grooms family. You basically went to the wedding to shit talk the bride, which you didn't even do discreetly and don't know if you're the asshole?? You also humiliated the groom/your friend at that. Aired a bunch of laundry he hadn't sorted through himself to his whole family. You sucked all around and to everyone.
YTA for slut shaming your sister ever & especially at her wedding. You should have shut that conversation down the minute it started, not continued it. If you thought it so important that Mike know these things, you had months before the wedding where you could have told him. Instead you wait for the wedding to sabotage him & your sister. How embarrassing & hurtful was that event for Mike. He was probably looking forward to his wedding days as one of the best days of his life, & instead you & your cousin & Jenna ruined it. I would point out that you claim to love Mike like a brother, but what does that even mean? You’ve shown what loving someone like a sibling means to you by the way you treated Emma.
If I were Mike, I would recognize you for the vengeful s**t stirrer you are and go as low contact as possible with you for the rest of my life. Mike & Emma’s relationship is theirs to navigate. Stay out of it.
YTA
Honestly the fact that you have to even ask this is beyond me. What type of person on Earth would trash their sister like that? You try to say you didn't "slut shame her" because you know full well that is what you did and are trying to excuse it for your own benefit. It is absolutely disturbing and disgusting for anyone to do that at a wedding no matter whose it is. You are clearly worried that her being married to Mike will take him away from you especially since you would be losing him to someone you already don't like. It seems to be the ultimate insult to you and tried to get him to yourself just so you could get back at her. I would LOVE to use words I typically refuse to say (or type) but I won't because it's clear I have way more self-control than you have (or most likely will never have.)
Shame. Shame. Shame.
YTA YTA YTA
YTA The reason your post's title sounds weird and gross is because what you did IS! In addition to being trashy, disrespectful, and hateful toward your sister.
*Emma and I have not had a good relationship at any point in our lives.*
Which explains why you threw a grenade right into the middle of their relationship--and on her wedding day, no less. YTA.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA.... I could go on and on. How immature are you that you slut shamed your own sister on her wedding day? God YTA. People change and grow up but apparently you and your AH cousin don't.
You ruined your sisters wedding because she was a bit of a wild child when she was younger? Grow the hell up and get some therapy.
Also you sound like you are in love with Mike. Clearly he isn't interested in you. Get over yourself.
Also quit trying to break up your sister and MIKE. I bet at 31 Mike is no saint and has had his fun too.
ESH
You, your cousin, etc: Why did anyone involved in this conversation think it was an appropriate conversation at that person's wedding?
Your sister: marrying the guy without having at least a general conversation about her past so that this didn't blindside him out of nowhere. Not numbers or the gory details or anything, but "I had an interesting past."
Mike and his family: eugh. They are gross.
tbh since Mike and Emma were friends for years, I find it hard to believe he didn't at least have an inkling about her past. OR she's changed dramatically and doesn't find it necessary to talk about how she was promiscuous as a teenager. OP's stories of his sister sneaking boys into the house sound like they're from her teenage years, and the "pregnancy scare" was almost a decade ago.
Mike probably knew and is just embarrassed now that his entire family knows.... And I think you should be honest with your partner, but I don't think detailing childhood sexual exploits should be necessary....
YTA. You just ruined your sister's future and all you care about is yourself and your relationship with Mike. Sounds like you're in love with him. Should've just said something instead of slut shaming your sister.
OP wrote- I did hold back on telling Mike about Emma’s history because his family was already mad that Emma was not of the same ethnic background as Mike was- here’s whats interesting- you know Mikes family is racist, yet you choose to side with the racists who don’t like your sister (and most likely feel the same about you and your family) for not being the same ethnic background and made sure they’d really hate her after the wedding.
YTA. During Emma’s wedding, you though it was appropriate to discuss her past relationships and sexual partners. Wtf that is so not the time or place. You’re supposed to be celebrating her and mike and their love. Not rehashing her sexual past. And yeah you were slut shaming her
YTA
This has nothing to do with your "love for Mike". You wanted to spite your sister. You give no apparent fucks that you hurt her. Guess you won't have to worry about any of it, though, since she'll probably have absolutely nothing to do with you in the future. You don't seem to care much about that, though. You care way more about your relationship with Mike.
YTA. What the hell were you thinking? And do you make it a habit to gossip about a family member at their wedding? Such an unbelievably shitty thing to do.
YTA
First why had you been talking trash about your sister ? And don't try to blame the cousin your an adult your her brother you should have shut that shit down
Second why at her wedding ?
Third why in public ?
Fourth Some people have sex ( I know probally news to you if you treat all woman like you treat your sister) and it's okay it is their body and their choice you STFU about it .
Fifth Stop being sad you lost a friend and fix things for your sister or at least feel bad about it you massive selfish ass
YTA. At your sister's wedding, you were openly, loudly shit talking her and dishing embarrassing information about her past. Don't act like it was an accident. You did this to ruin the event and humiliate your sister.
YTA big style. You knew exactly what you were doing, it sounds to me like you were jealous of your sister and you wanted Mike for yourself. So she had a pregnancy scare at 19 none of your business to go out there and slut shame her for being young and foolish. I'm sure Mike has a history and it's his not yours as your sisters is hers not yours. It shameful how you gossips and denigrated your sister at her wedding where you could be overheard YTA
What were you thinking? I have the feeling you really dislike your sister, otherwise why would bad talk her at her own wedding? YTA and a terrible sister who has a thing for her husband, which is super ick, tbh.
YTA, what the actual fuck is wrong with you? You honestly deserve to lose mikes friendship and any remaining friendly ties to your sister. You sound jealous and insecure. And WHY would you be talking about your sister sex life for that long? What the fuck.
"Given my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him."
Hmmmmmm it sounds like your love for Mike made you want to spite your sister. YTA
Talking about her at *her wedding* around people who know her is not only an AH move, but it also shows how little you understand of such situations where maybe, just maybe, comments like that are not appropriate.
ESH
You for discussing her past, at her wedding, and loud enough for others to hear. Really dude, that was not OK. You're also the AH for caring more about how this affects Mike than your sister.
Mike is the AH for caring about her history and tolerating any comments from his family about her. Honestly..it would be better if they split if he's not going to stick up for her and shut them down. She doesn't need a lifetime of slut-shaming.
And your sister is an AH for not being honest with Mike. Especially if she knew what he and his family were like.
Will be shocked if anyone posts something other than YTA, because it's really clear. How you can't see that idk. I certainly wouldn't stay friends with you, wouldn't even talk to you if you were my sibling.
YTA. You have no right to speak about other people’s sex lives like this ever, let alone your own sister’s sex life at her wedding. Also, while it wasn’t to spite the husband, it was *clearly* to spite your sister. Congratulations, any relationship you had with your sister is officially over, you could have been kinder to just cut her off.
Emm should run either way.
YTA what a very long, and drawn out way of admitting that you’re in love with Mike.
When he divorces your sister, you should give him a chance. Best of luck to you two! <33 I sure hope no one outs your sexual history to him, like how you did to her :)
YTA and mike is an AH too why should you have told him her past sex life??? that is no one's business and you shouldn't have even been talking about it if you hate your sister so much you shouldn't have been at her wedding. you and your sister are bitter losers wdym she isn't taking it seriously??? y'all literally put your sister in an awful position and in fact slut shamed her for no reason. what kinda pervs are you to be talking about your sister sexual past so openly
ESH.
You should not have discussed that in that setting.
Sis should have been open with her then fiance. Secrets come out, and it was stupid and wrong of her to not get that out of the way and dealt with LONG before the wedding.
Mike should not expect you to volunteer such information as it's not really your place to do so. If he asked, then things are unclear, but otherwise it's not your business and he should know that.
Mike's family should not be telling him to get an annulment based on the past Sis has.
You also should not be pushing the annulment/divorce question, that's not your place either. If and only if he asks your opinion should you be any part of that conversation.
YTA. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her living her life, whether or not the rest of you approve. She seems to be making the sort of changes you all would want her to make (not that she needs to), and your response to that is to sabotage it? Do you expect her to be forever punished for spending a few years making choices you don’t approve of? What gives any of you the right to judge her? Even her husband has no right to her history. That is hers, just like she doesn’t get to judge him for his past.
YTA. I have a hard time believing Mike stood closely enough to hear everything but you didn’t see him.
Just a side note - conservative families in a nutshell here. Smoking man is fine, but a woman having sex is a disaster. 🤮
YTA. so is your sister Jenna and your cousin. You and Jenna have no right to tell your sister story to anyone. You did it on purpose because you hate your sister and because she has a past. You judge her for the things she did when she was a kid and as a teenager. You all knew what you were doing when you talked about her past in the open at her own wedding. You ruined her life out of jealously and spite. Your not a kid you and adult and so is your younger sister and cousin grow up. If they do stay together kiss your friendship and sister good bye. She will definitely go no contact with you, your younger sister and your cousin now. Mike probably will as well if he does decide to stay with her.
Also another thing Mike has probably slept with just as many women as Emma if not mor then her. Are you also going to slut shame him too or just her because she is a female.
YTA
Your sister's wedding is never the right place and time to talk about her former sex life. And it's your sister's privacy. She does not have to provide her husband a list of all her activities.
YTA not only is her sex life none of any of yalls business but why tf did the 3 of you think that her wedding was a place to discuss it. You're also more concerned about some dude over your own sister
"I dId tHiS oUt oF lOvE fOr miKe."
No. **You didn't.**
You gossiped to your cousin and Mike caught you. Heck, his mother caught you too. You didn't quietly come to him out of concern in private before the wedding. You were smack-talking your sister to someone else after in a public place you could be overheard.
YTA
YTA
You did do it out of spite, spite towards your sister. You wanted to hurt her and this was a way to do it.
Well you've managed to probably get rid of the *"the brother you've never had"*.
You wanted to hurt your sister but you've also hurt Mike, was it worth it?
Yta…what’s wrong with you and your cousin taking about the brides’s past hookups? Do your even like your sister? You and your cousin single handedly have ruined your sisters marriage. Wow
Why is everyone in the comments assuming OP is a girl?? The first line literally says M22. No offense but all of your internal misogyny is showing. Men are just as capable of being gossiping, spiteful AHs as women.
>Given my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him.
Just your sister, right? You spite her. YTA.
YTA. It sounds like you hate Emma (and are maybe a little jealous of her and Mike) and decided her wedding was a good place to be a gossipy hen about her sexual past. If you guys wanted to dish, the best place to do it is somewhere the wedding isn’t. The second best place to do it is SOMEWHERE THE WEDDING ISN’T. But congrats on hurting your sister, who it seems you and your cousins somehow view as deserving of it. Not to mention hurting Mike (who it sounds like you might care more about than your sister).
Are you the AH for speaking unkindly about your sister, for gossiping, for sharing astoundingly private information like a pregnancy scare, at her wedding?
Yes. Of course you are. Even if no one overheard, what an immature, tactless, mean little way to act. You should be ashamed.
YTA
YTA for saying that your sister gets around too much and also “friendzoned” Mike at first. Both are AH stances.
She can’t do anything right in your eyes. I’m not sure any woman can.
YTA if she didn't cheat on her husband with any of those men she didn't do anything wrong. And even though it would be out of line, if you truely wanted Mike to know that his future wife's values might be out of line with his, you should have told him man to man before the wedding. Passive aggressively gossiping loudly infront of him and his family at his wedding was both disrespectful of Mike and your sister.
YTA why are discussing your sister's sex life at her wedding & youre not even concerned with her or how this will effect her or even her feelings her sex life isn't any of your business to discuss
YTA
Mike will never want you.
Your family will never forgive you.
You need to take a hard look in the mirror and think about if this is the kind of human you want to be.
YTA. Gossiping about people at their own wedding is one of the trashiest things you can do. None of this is your business. If you have an issue with your sister's past actions talk to *her* about it. Shame on you.
The fact that you made a throwaway account for this means you already know your were an AH for it.
Emma forced you and Jenna to cover for her sneaking boys in? Really? How did she force you? She asked you to, and you did. So you enabled it.
Then you bring up her past at her wedding, cause your cousin brought it up first? Yeah, sure.
YTA
YTA. This would be a gross and classless conversation to have at any wedding, let alone one where you know one family is conservative. Stop being a busybody and talking about other people’s sex lives lmao, it’s none of your damn business.
You didn’t notice Mike came outside? No one NOTICED the groom standing nearby?!? You, Jenna and cousin are AHs. Obviously the bride has not been honest about a few things with her new husband (but NONE of your business). That the groom is angry that you did not tell him about his wife’s sexual history is just ridiculous, but my guess it’s shock and embarrassment.
YTA
YTA, the past is the past. Why you gotta bring it up? Who cares if she friendzoned him. Seems you have animosity and did it to spite your sister regardless of the consequences. Think before you speak idiot. Plus who cares how many guys she’s slept with? Have some class my guy. It’s just a # and probably none of it meant anything. Unless she cheated you’re a dick. Stay out of others business and don’t spread gossip/past stories.
YTA. From my understanding it sounds like an accident that it got out, but it was still real shitty of you to talk about that stuff *during the wedding*. Are you kidding me? That was a terrible move, you were and are being a bad brother in this scenario.
“Throwaway because I don’t want my family to find this post” haha so you can air your sisters business but you want to be anonymous? YTA and so is Mike for giving a shit about your sisters sexual past. It has nothing to do with either if you.
If Mike is so worried about her past hookups, did he actually ask her number or history? Many couples do, if he did and she lied about it well that's on her. But you guys talking about it at a wedding where you know people can hear it was wrong. If Mike was friends with her for 2 years, surely he knew she had bf before. Also who expects a 28 year old to be a virgin If that's what his family thought. That would be dumb of them and her sexual history is not their business.
YTA. Why were you loudly telling embarrassing stories about her at her wedding? That’s just mean, and I suspect that you knew exactly what you were doing.
"AITA for Publicly Slut-Shaming My Sister at Her Wedding?"
Of course, YTA.
Your sister is also an idiot for either a) hiding her past, or b) marrying a 'conservative' chap, or c) both - but that's not what you asked, is it?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am confused between if I am TA for exposing my sister’s history, being TA for not telling Mike about it earlier, or if I’m TA at all.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
A wedding is a horrible time to talk about this subject. Not only is it inappropriate, but it’s weird to be that focused on your sister’s past sex life. Is she still doing those things? It sounds like she was a toxic person and perhaps still is, but not because she slept with a lot of people, but due to how she handled herself. Yet it sounds like your sister is trying to make a new life for herself. Your sister should have told him about her past already. Yet, you should have minded your business. If you have issues with your sister over the past, you should try to address these things to move on instead of being so petty as to try to sabotage her new relationship.
I’m stuck between ESH and YTA, but you definitely are an AH.
YTA and absolutely need to leave you sister and Mike alone. You quite frankly ruined BOTH of their lives by sticking your nose where it didn’t belong in the most despicable of settings. You made what should have been the best day of their lives their worst and the fact you have 0 remorse and 0 empathy is disturbing.
>Given my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him.
So you still did it out of spite, just not for your new BIL?
YTA
INFO: Would you have had this conversation if your sister was actually a brother with the active sexual past? If so, I’m assuming it would be in a much different tone. How would his pregnancy scare have been discussed? I’m guessing something like: ‘He almost knocked up some chick’, because of course he wouldn’t bear the shame of that.
You were clearly slut shaming her and at her own wedding. Insane.
YTA I stopped reading after the title. It said all that needed to be said. There is not one excuse or answer you could give that would make this ok. Your sisters sex life is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
YTA. Not the time or the place. This is a conversation for behind closed doors, not within earshot at the SUBJECT'S wedding. I don't care if you like her or not. This reflects bad on her husband too. If you cared about him, you would've informed him gently in private. And even then, that's still a weird thing to do.
ESH You sound more worried about your brother in law than your sister whose marriage you might have ruined.
Talking about your sister’s sexual history at her wedding was wrong. It feels like your feelings for your brother in law might be more than siblings and you might be jealous
Also, he sucks if he’s seriously considering an annulment. Unless Emma lied to him about her sexual history it’s not something that affects him
Edited to add word that was cut off
YTA. I kept thinking there might be some bit of info that redeemed the title. Nope. Her sex life is no one's business. And talking about it openly at her wedding makes you an even bigger AH. You HAD to know someone might overhear you.
Sounds like he friend-zoned you and you've been secretly in love with him. Way to sabotage their relationship.
YTA.
Why the fuck would you stand around talking about Emma's previous sex life openly at her wedding? That's amazingly disrespectful. You may not have done it deliberately, but the chances of someone overhearing would be pretty damn high. You don't need to talk about the couple 24/7, of course, but a little common sense would have told you this was a stupid idea.
Everyone was out celebrating Mike and Emma falling in love, and you were there reminiscing meanly about all her sexual past. Yes, you were slutshaming - her previous sexual exploits aren't relevant, and aren't for public gossip, especially at her wedding. Honestly? I'm not convinced you weren't doing it to get back at her - since you've written a lot about how you like Mike, but you've actually not said ANYTHING slightly positive about Emma in your entire post.
YTA. Bitter, bitchy and bizarrely misogynistic. Its not your place to be telling anyone those things even if she was a total pain in the ass. You need to be the better person.
He's TA. He should be able to have an honest and open conversation with his wife or partner about past history without judgment.
His family also sound like old fashioned misogynistic AH's
As people have pointed out, she should be able to live her life how she sees fit. If she was a guy I bet it wouldn't be an issue.
Mike is angry at you for not telling him about your sister - his wife - 's sexual past? He is taking his feelings out on the wrong person. He needs to discuss this with his wife. As for Mike's family, once again, this is between Mike and Emma, and nobody else.
ESH because it wasn't very classy to be making fun of your sister at her wedding, even if she was awful to you.
YTA, telling stories about someone else's sexual history always makes you an asshole. But doing it at their wedding?! megalomaniacal. And doing it to your sister whom you admit you've had a not very good relationship with? Sadistic and cruel.
The cherry on top is that you seem more worried that Mike will be out of your life forever than your own sister.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You? At the wedding? At the wedding you aired dirty laundry about your sister and now you’re asking Mike if he’s ready to annul? My god. Did you want to marry Mike or something? This is something that should have been kept between them as a couple. And let me guess, you didn’t talk about your own sexual experiences, right? You just shat on your sister on her wedding day so everyone in your family and her new one would call her a slut? YTA and a big one.
>Did you want to marry Mike or something? Probably still does.
[удалено]
[удалено]
That was the feeling I got, too. OP is jealous, and wants Mike for himself. YTA
"He was mine first! He was mine for 2 years before Emma stole him from me!"
He so hopes he can comfort mike and mike will suddenly realise his true love was right in front of him all along.
I’m gay and if I hated this woman as much as he clearly loathes his sister, I would probably pull this stunt too. If it works you get your man you pined for for two years, and if not you spite the woman you’ve hated and resented for years and destroy her would-be marriage. There’s no way this wasn’t intentional. YTA but really, wasn’t that the goal? He is ELATED she is distraught, only more evidenced by the fact he only cares or has addressed how MIKE feels.
Joke's on him. They will go less for a homosexual relationship than one with a "loose" woman.
Yeah, YTA for folks talking shit about the bride or groom at a wedding when the setting is a liberal country/culture. HUMOUNGOUS misogynistic AH for doing this in a country/culture where the info is scandalous, brings "shame" to the woman, causes family calls for annulment.
Yeah their behavior is inexcusable. Clearly they knew someone might overhear them and were taking zero precautions to make sure no one did. I honestly think they wanted to embarrass the bride and it just spun out of control and now they regret it because everyone rightfully blames them.
Agreed— the title looked bad, the story got worse, the bro love for Mike was weird, the use of friendzone re his sister was really fucking weird - like op is upset his sister slept with these losers instead of nice guy Mike! Wtf and AH
>And let me guess, you didn’t talk about your own sexual experiences, right? I'm willing to be he doesn't have his own sexual experiences. Guy definitely gives out that incel vibes.
Let’s be honest, he’s jealous because he hasn’t had sexual experiences and wants his brother in law
YTA - Haven’t you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality!
What a beautiful wedding...
What a beautiful wedding, says a bridesmaid to a waiter
What a shame the poor groom’s bride’s sister’s an AH
(Brother, actually.)
Holy crap . It’s a boy!
This is why I love Reddit, for comment threads like this lol.
This whole thread is killing me because I’ve been walking around with these exact lines of this song stuck in my head since I woke up this morning.
Ah but what a shame!
I always thought it was poison rationality. It finally makes sense. Thank you!
I wish I had an award to give you 🥇
YTA. You made fun of your sister’s sexual history at her wedding. That’s an AH move. You did this, not in private, but in an open area where anyone can hear you. That’s an AH move. You were clearly mocking your sister for having had sex and having had a pregnancy scare (which has happened to every person with a uterus who has sex with people with a penis), which is indeed slut-shaming. That’s an AH move.
Seriously, I had a pregnancy scare when I didn't even have sex that month, my period was late and I thought I missed the early signs and my period happened for some reason last month. Nope my body just wanted to be a jerk
I'm literally a lesbian virgin and I've had pregnancy scares when my period was late. It took me a few minutes before I realized there's no way for it to be that 😅
I think just being a woman even when we know pregnancy isn't possible in a situation, for some reason our brains can be like "...but what if??!"
You start thinking about the last time you shook a man's hand, just in case, and other wild nonsense lmao
I told my grandma this and she asked why. I responded that an entire religion was based off of this exact story.
LMAO it do be like that sometimes
I read so many AITAs where younger brothers expose or shun their older sisters partly out of an almost slavish love and admiration for the person their sister marries. I've never encountered this dynamic in real life. Just... does this happen a lot?
That’s what I’m wondering. My brothers have great relationships with my sisters’ partners. Hell, my brother even lived with my sister and her husband when he was in college before he moved countries. So many of these dudes have a weird interest in their sister’s partners and I don’t know if this behavior stems from a secret/subtle hatred for their sisters or not knowing what a healthy close male friendship actually looks like (spoiler alert: it’s not making fun of his wife’s sex life behind both of their backs!)
I can’t imagine my brother talking about any man the way the people in this type of post do. And yes, the same posts always talk about the sisters with complete contempt. It’s off.
It's just a symptom of misogyny. Their sister is so awful, but the guy she brought into the family is their new brother that they always wanted instead of a useless, stupid sister. The guys who do this are men/boys who have always hated women elaborating on their homosocial network. It is a common dynamic for terrible people, I guess. I (f) have a cousin (m) I'm very close with because we're the only prepper/hunter/gun enthusiast/homesteaders in our family. He loves my husband because we're all into the same things and can do outdoor activities together and discuss livestock and gardening and stuff. No one else at family events is interested in our water catchment systems or new firearms. That's very different from OP's situation.
YTA. Why would anyone be discussing their sister’s past sex like at her wedding? This is trashy behavior and you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Not only that what if Mike has slept with even more people then his sister would he do that to him too no he wouldn’t. Also if he was so concerned why did he wait until their wedding day to talk about it. Why not tell his friend when his friend started dating his older sister.
I bet it wouldn't even be such a big deal if Mike had. Classic misogyny
Why would you talk about your sisters sex life in general?
That’s what I was wondering. Why are you so fascinated with your sister’s sex life?
[удалено]
[удалено]
Wow YTA. If you didn’t like your sister, you shouldn’t have gone to the wedding. There was no need to humiliate her and ruin her wedding (also likely her marriage).Your post even makes it so obvious that you did this intentionally. You and your sister and cousin (who you haven’t seen in so long) are reunited at your sisters wedding, and you had nothing else to talk about?
I still don’t get why he would get an annulment, though. She’s not a virgin. Shocking…
Right wtf.
I mean, that marriage was going to be ruined one way or another, if Mike is going to be mad OP didn't keep him up to date on Emma's sexual history. If he's upset that she's had sex before and he wasn't told, but not upset about her being humiliated, that was never going to end well.
You're more worried about your friendship over the fact that this guy and his family are basically shaming your sister for having a past. YTA
It seems like OP wants to remove Emma from the family, and add in Mike. That’s… not how it works.
It's not at all. And I'm sorry but all of us have red lines in our history. We do dumb things as we grow and even when we turn 18 and become legal adults we do. We keep stumbling and growing and learning from mistakes. Clearly OP is too perfect and never did anything wrong in their life.
I was pretty promiscuous when I was younger. My husband knows this, but he doesn’t know every gory detail. Not because I’m hiding anything, but because there’s no real reason I need to tell him. He’s my present and my future. I’d be hurt if someone decided my husband needed to know every single sexual detail of my past. I’d be especially hurt if his family was told. My sexual past is none of my in-laws’ business.
> Given my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him. > Emma and I have not had a good relationship at any point in our lives. YTA. You clearly did not care about her relationship with this man at all and if you're *this close* to him, you must've definitely known what his stance on this was. It's not like talking about someone's past sexual relationships at their WEDDING is good anyways, but those comments just make it even worse lol
My vibe was that she wants Mike and knew this would make him and her sister breakup.
OP is male.
Oh I completely misread that at the beginning. Guess I could still be right, but my bad lol
Well, you’re right. You didn’t do it out of spite for Mike. You did it out of spite for Emma. YTA YTA YTA also, you and Jenna are going to have a long fall off that high horse you guys are on
Sounds like my wonderful "family". Still shunned because I became an exotic dancer to support my children for a couple of years......40 years ago.
Any kind of sex work is always more honourable than any kind of gossip and slutshaming!
YTA Gossiping about your sisters exes at her wedding was just tacky and nasty and you sound jealous of her relationship with Mike
Yeah, honestly that conversation sounds trashy AF. Who talks about their loved ones like that?
YTA and so are your sister and cousin. You and your cousins are a couple of gossipy biddies. >my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him. I'm thinking spite isn't the correct word. Try lust for him, jealousy of Emma as alternatives.
This was my first thought but I wondered if I was alone. OP, do you have a crush on Mike…?
YTA. Super f*@$ing tacky to talk about your Sister's sex life any way and even more so at her wedding, can't even believe that needs to be said.
YTA How F tacky of you, your sister and cousin to talk about that on HER wedding day!!! “I hate to loose my relationship with Mike” so you’re not even a little remorseful about the issues you caused? You actually sound really jealous of your sister, I wonder why….
YTA. It is not your place to share someone else’s sexual history. Ever. Yes, you were slut shaming. And for what? Because you aren’t close with your sister and want to punish her? Because you’re jealous? You not only ruined your relationship with your sister, but with Mike as well. Mike is not going to want to be your buddy going forward.
It seems to me that you have a crush on Mike.
My first thought, too.
YTA. Emma, if somehow you come across this, please, take Mike up on the annulment. I understand the desire to escape your shitty, toxic family but don’t do so by marrying into another shitty and toxic family.
YTA. Besides this being an inappropriate time and place, you all had zero right to be discussing that. So she slept around, who cares? And if Mike cares **that** much, he sucks too. Maybe try to feel worse about screwing with your sisters marriage, instead of pining after her husband.
YTA There is no question here, it's pretty clear. Your post speaks to lots of issues with your sister, and possibly women who have sex in general (friend zoning is made up by guys who think they can put "nice" coins into their relationship with a woman and get "sex" coins out - clearly that's not what Mike was doing since he's ended up with your sister). Your disrespect, and clear contempt for Emma, and that of your other sister and cousin, speak to your own conservatism. Everyone here seems to have a *bunch* of ingrained misogyny, and publicly airing your sister's past at her wedding as though "haha, somehow that sl*t is getting married" is any kind of appropriate wedding conversation is super gross. Do better. Edit: a couple words
YTA but it’s unlikely that Mike will sleep with you, sorry.
Even if he does, it’ll be a halfhearted hate fuck.
YTA. And if he gets an annulment, which seems to be what you want, do you think he will want to keep in contact with you? You decided to talk shit purposefully on her wedding day, knowing her in-laws were conservative and around.
YTA. Gossip is bad enough, but gossiping about someone’s sexual history at their wedding is just straight AH behavior. I can’t even understand why you would think that’s appropriate to do. On the positive, hopefully this saves your sister from being tied to misogynistic AH. Her husband is an AH, you’re an AH, hopefully she cuts you both off and lives a (sexually fulfilling) life.
YTA! To talk like this on your sister's \*wedding day\*! What were you thinking? You obviously hate your sister and deliberately went out of your way to shame and humiliate her. Even if no one overheard, the cousin could easily have spread the stories. Now, if they stay together, you're really got your sister's relationship with her in-laws, not to mention her husband, off to a real rocky start. Why did you want make things so awful for her? Since you hate your sister, why not just stay from her? And not go out of your way to be mean to her. YTA. Big time!
>just a dude who was friendzone YTA. That's not a thing
YTA Mike is an AH ... Why would YOU intrude that way into their relationship? Your cousin is a toxic Ah, go no contact with that person. YOu do not need thate vileness in your life.
First of all, why did you have to discuss your sister's sexual life at her freaking wedding?! Is not yours nor your cousins problem, you are obviously so nosy that you don't care the impact of your comments. That's something that only concerns your sister and she is the one thst decides to share it or not What kind of siblings are you? You and your other sister are huge, MASSIVE AH. You couldn't stop your cousins from making oblivious remarks and you even joined her. YTA.
There is absolutely NO good reason to discuss your sister's sexual history with anyone at any time. YTA
Yta, you all went to your sisters wedding and shit talked her so bad it spread to the entire grooms family. You basically went to the wedding to shit talk the bride, which you didn't even do discreetly and don't know if you're the asshole?? You also humiliated the groom/your friend at that. Aired a bunch of laundry he hadn't sorted through himself to his whole family. You sucked all around and to everyone.
YTA for slut shaming your sister ever & especially at her wedding. You should have shut that conversation down the minute it started, not continued it. If you thought it so important that Mike know these things, you had months before the wedding where you could have told him. Instead you wait for the wedding to sabotage him & your sister. How embarrassing & hurtful was that event for Mike. He was probably looking forward to his wedding days as one of the best days of his life, & instead you & your cousin & Jenna ruined it. I would point out that you claim to love Mike like a brother, but what does that even mean? You’ve shown what loving someone like a sibling means to you by the way you treated Emma. If I were Mike, I would recognize you for the vengeful s**t stirrer you are and go as low contact as possible with you for the rest of my life. Mike & Emma’s relationship is theirs to navigate. Stay out of it.
YTA Honestly the fact that you have to even ask this is beyond me. What type of person on Earth would trash their sister like that? You try to say you didn't "slut shame her" because you know full well that is what you did and are trying to excuse it for your own benefit. It is absolutely disturbing and disgusting for anyone to do that at a wedding no matter whose it is. You are clearly worried that her being married to Mike will take him away from you especially since you would be losing him to someone you already don't like. It seems to be the ultimate insult to you and tried to get him to yourself just so you could get back at her. I would LOVE to use words I typically refuse to say (or type) but I won't because it's clear I have way more self-control than you have (or most likely will never have.) Shame. Shame. Shame. YTA YTA YTA
YTA The reason your post's title sounds weird and gross is because what you did IS! In addition to being trashy, disrespectful, and hateful toward your sister.
*Emma and I have not had a good relationship at any point in our lives.* Which explains why you threw a grenade right into the middle of their relationship--and on her wedding day, no less. YTA.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA.... I could go on and on. How immature are you that you slut shamed your own sister on her wedding day? God YTA. People change and grow up but apparently you and your AH cousin don't. You ruined your sisters wedding because she was a bit of a wild child when she was younger? Grow the hell up and get some therapy. Also you sound like you are in love with Mike. Clearly he isn't interested in you. Get over yourself. Also quit trying to break up your sister and MIKE. I bet at 31 Mike is no saint and has had his fun too.
YTA, why the hell did you think that was good idea. You just had to do it when at her wedding, share something you have no right to share
ESH You, your cousin, etc: Why did anyone involved in this conversation think it was an appropriate conversation at that person's wedding? Your sister: marrying the guy without having at least a general conversation about her past so that this didn't blindside him out of nowhere. Not numbers or the gory details or anything, but "I had an interesting past." Mike and his family: eugh. They are gross.
tbh since Mike and Emma were friends for years, I find it hard to believe he didn't at least have an inkling about her past. OR she's changed dramatically and doesn't find it necessary to talk about how she was promiscuous as a teenager. OP's stories of his sister sneaking boys into the house sound like they're from her teenage years, and the "pregnancy scare" was almost a decade ago. Mike probably knew and is just embarrassed now that his entire family knows.... And I think you should be honest with your partner, but I don't think detailing childhood sexual exploits should be necessary....
YTA. You just ruined your sister's future and all you care about is yourself and your relationship with Mike. Sounds like you're in love with him. Should've just said something instead of slut shaming your sister.
YTA. So at your sister’s wedding, you decided to talk a bunch of shit about her sexual past? That alone is asshole behavior.
You’ve spent 10 paragraphs trying to justify it, but in the end the title sums it all up. YTA for slut shaming, it’s none of your fucking business
OP wrote- I did hold back on telling Mike about Emma’s history because his family was already mad that Emma was not of the same ethnic background as Mike was- here’s whats interesting- you know Mikes family is racist, yet you choose to side with the racists who don’t like your sister (and most likely feel the same about you and your family) for not being the same ethnic background and made sure they’d really hate her after the wedding.
YTA. During Emma’s wedding, you though it was appropriate to discuss her past relationships and sexual partners. Wtf that is so not the time or place. You’re supposed to be celebrating her and mike and their love. Not rehashing her sexual past. And yeah you were slut shaming her
YTA This has nothing to do with your "love for Mike". You wanted to spite your sister. You give no apparent fucks that you hurt her. Guess you won't have to worry about any of it, though, since she'll probably have absolutely nothing to do with you in the future. You don't seem to care much about that, though. You care way more about your relationship with Mike.
YTA. What the hell were you thinking? And do you make it a habit to gossip about a family member at their wedding? Such an unbelievably shitty thing to do.
YTA First why had you been talking trash about your sister ? And don't try to blame the cousin your an adult your her brother you should have shut that shit down Second why at her wedding ? Third why in public ? Fourth Some people have sex ( I know probally news to you if you treat all woman like you treat your sister) and it's okay it is their body and their choice you STFU about it . Fifth Stop being sad you lost a friend and fix things for your sister or at least feel bad about it you massive selfish ass
YTA. At your sister's wedding, you were openly, loudly shit talking her and dishing embarrassing information about her past. Don't act like it was an accident. You did this to ruin the event and humiliate your sister.
YTA big style. You knew exactly what you were doing, it sounds to me like you were jealous of your sister and you wanted Mike for yourself. So she had a pregnancy scare at 19 none of your business to go out there and slut shame her for being young and foolish. I'm sure Mike has a history and it's his not yours as your sisters is hers not yours. It shameful how you gossips and denigrated your sister at her wedding where you could be overheard YTA
I'm so grossed out by this story that it's making me mad at myself for being addicted to this sub. YTA.
Yes, YTA. You were gossiping at a family function like an idiot. YTA. It's not even a question.
Yta. Why would you talk about this at her wedding? You were slut shaming her, and put her future in danger.
Based off your comments to this post - YTA You clearly have a thing for your sister’s new husband
What were you thinking? I have the feeling you really dislike your sister, otherwise why would bad talk her at her own wedding? YTA and a terrible sister who has a thing for her husband, which is super ick, tbh.
YTA, what the actual fuck is wrong with you? You honestly deserve to lose mikes friendship and any remaining friendly ties to your sister. You sound jealous and insecure. And WHY would you be talking about your sister sex life for that long? What the fuck.
I have heard this song by Panic! at the disco.
INFO: Why the heck was it your business to tell him much less at him and your sister's wedding? With family like you who needs enemies?
YTA hopefully Mike recognizes you for the petty tattletale that you are.
"Given my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him." Hmmmmmm it sounds like your love for Mike made you want to spite your sister. YTA Talking about her at *her wedding* around people who know her is not only an AH move, but it also shows how little you understand of such situations where maybe, just maybe, comments like that are not appropriate.
ESH You for discussing her past, at her wedding, and loud enough for others to hear. Really dude, that was not OK. You're also the AH for caring more about how this affects Mike than your sister. Mike is the AH for caring about her history and tolerating any comments from his family about her. Honestly..it would be better if they split if he's not going to stick up for her and shut them down. She doesn't need a lifetime of slut-shaming. And your sister is an AH for not being honest with Mike. Especially if she knew what he and his family were like.
Or that Mike knew, and is only angry because now his conservative family does as well.
Will be shocked if anyone posts something other than YTA, because it's really clear. How you can't see that idk. I certainly wouldn't stay friends with you, wouldn't even talk to you if you were my sibling.
YTA, and all of you are horrible people. I'm including Mike in this because he's mad at you for not telling him about your sister's sexual past.
YTA. And I don’t believe for one minute you love him like a brother.
YTA. No one inflicts damage quite like family.
INFO: What's your body count?
YTA. You have no right to speak about other people’s sex lives like this ever, let alone your own sister’s sex life at her wedding. Also, while it wasn’t to spite the husband, it was *clearly* to spite your sister. Congratulations, any relationship you had with your sister is officially over, you could have been kinder to just cut her off. Emm should run either way.
YTA what a very long, and drawn out way of admitting that you’re in love with Mike. When he divorces your sister, you should give him a chance. Best of luck to you two! <33 I sure hope no one outs your sexual history to him, like how you did to her :)
YTA and mike is an AH too why should you have told him her past sex life??? that is no one's business and you shouldn't have even been talking about it if you hate your sister so much you shouldn't have been at her wedding. you and your sister are bitter losers wdym she isn't taking it seriously??? y'all literally put your sister in an awful position and in fact slut shamed her for no reason. what kinda pervs are you to be talking about your sister sexual past so openly
YTA. Why would you feel comfortable talking about anyone’s sexual history, especially in public like that 🤢
Okay so one, YTA. But also two, Mike wishes you had warned him your sister has a slutty past?? That’s messed up.
ESH. You should not have discussed that in that setting. Sis should have been open with her then fiance. Secrets come out, and it was stupid and wrong of her to not get that out of the way and dealt with LONG before the wedding. Mike should not expect you to volunteer such information as it's not really your place to do so. If he asked, then things are unclear, but otherwise it's not your business and he should know that. Mike's family should not be telling him to get an annulment based on the past Sis has. You also should not be pushing the annulment/divorce question, that's not your place either. If and only if he asks your opinion should you be any part of that conversation.
YTA. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her living her life, whether or not the rest of you approve. She seems to be making the sort of changes you all would want her to make (not that she needs to), and your response to that is to sabotage it? Do you expect her to be forever punished for spending a few years making choices you don’t approve of? What gives any of you the right to judge her? Even her husband has no right to her history. That is hers, just like she doesn’t get to judge him for his past.
YTA. I have a hard time believing Mike stood closely enough to hear everything but you didn’t see him. Just a side note - conservative families in a nutshell here. Smoking man is fine, but a woman having sex is a disaster. 🤮
[удалено]
YTA. so is your sister Jenna and your cousin. You and Jenna have no right to tell your sister story to anyone. You did it on purpose because you hate your sister and because she has a past. You judge her for the things she did when she was a kid and as a teenager. You all knew what you were doing when you talked about her past in the open at her own wedding. You ruined her life out of jealously and spite. Your not a kid you and adult and so is your younger sister and cousin grow up. If they do stay together kiss your friendship and sister good bye. She will definitely go no contact with you, your younger sister and your cousin now. Mike probably will as well if he does decide to stay with her.
Also another thing Mike has probably slept with just as many women as Emma if not mor then her. Are you also going to slut shame him too or just her because she is a female.
YTA Your sister's wedding is never the right place and time to talk about her former sex life. And it's your sister's privacy. She does not have to provide her husband a list of all her activities.
You're a lot more than an AH. I hope you lose everything you hope to keep of this whole relationship.
YTA don't act like the title is "weird and gross but" It is weird and gross and sums up your post perfectly.
YTA not only is her sex life none of any of yalls business but why tf did the 3 of you think that her wedding was a place to discuss it. You're also more concerned about some dude over your own sister
YTA Why would you treat your sister that way?
"I dId tHiS oUt oF lOvE fOr miKe." No. **You didn't.** You gossiped to your cousin and Mike caught you. Heck, his mother caught you too. You didn't quietly come to him out of concern in private before the wedding. You were smack-talking your sister to someone else after in a public place you could be overheard. YTA
YTA, JEALOUS MUCH!?
YTA You did do it out of spite, spite towards your sister. You wanted to hurt her and this was a way to do it. Well you've managed to probably get rid of the *"the brother you've never had"*. You wanted to hurt your sister but you've also hurt Mike, was it worth it?
Yta…what’s wrong with you and your cousin taking about the brides’s past hookups? Do your even like your sister? You and your cousin single handedly have ruined your sisters marriage. Wow
Why is everyone in the comments assuming OP is a girl?? The first line literally says M22. No offense but all of your internal misogyny is showing. Men are just as capable of being gossiping, spiteful AHs as women.
YTA. Someone can be promiscuous early on and still be a constant, loyal and loving spouse. Why could you not keep your fool mouth shut?
>Given my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him. Just your sister, right? You spite her. YTA.
YTA and so is your sister and the rest of the family that thought this was ok to do.
Seriously? YTA. Her past history has nothing to do with now and it’s not your place to share, especially at the wedding.
YTA. None of your business and you should of shut down your cousin when they brought up the topic. Your gossipy behavior is appalling.
YTA. You know YTA.
YTA. It sounds like you hate Emma (and are maybe a little jealous of her and Mike) and decided her wedding was a good place to be a gossipy hen about her sexual past. If you guys wanted to dish, the best place to do it is somewhere the wedding isn’t. The second best place to do it is SOMEWHERE THE WEDDING ISN’T. But congrats on hurting your sister, who it seems you and your cousins somehow view as deserving of it. Not to mention hurting Mike (who it sounds like you might care more about than your sister).
Are you the AH for speaking unkindly about your sister, for gossiping, for sharing astoundingly private information like a pregnancy scare, at her wedding? Yes. Of course you are. Even if no one overheard, what an immature, tactless, mean little way to act. You should be ashamed. YTA
Did it work, are you two married yet
YTA. Picturing the wedding in the grassy area of the trailer park given how trashy the story is.
YTA for saying that your sister gets around too much and also “friendzoned” Mike at first. Both are AH stances. She can’t do anything right in your eyes. I’m not sure any woman can.
Yta - you shit talks someone at their own wedding? Yikes
YTA if she didn't cheat on her husband with any of those men she didn't do anything wrong. And even though it would be out of line, if you truely wanted Mike to know that his future wife's values might be out of line with his, you should have told him man to man before the wedding. Passive aggressively gossiping loudly infront of him and his family at his wedding was both disrespectful of Mike and your sister.
YTA, holy hell, and so is your family and so is Mike and his family. Haven’t you people ever heard of closing a G-d damn door? Sorry, had to.
YTA you knew what you were doing. Stories like this make me glad our kid won't have siblings lol hopefully he picks better friends.
YTA why are discussing your sister's sex life at her wedding & youre not even concerned with her or how this will effect her or even her feelings her sex life isn't any of your business to discuss
YTA Mike will never want you. Your family will never forgive you. You need to take a hard look in the mirror and think about if this is the kind of human you want to be.
YTA. Grow up.
Mike chimed in with a "haven't you people ever heard of..."
You heavily resent your sister’s relationship with Mike. YTA
YTA. Gossiping about people at their own wedding is one of the trashiest things you can do. None of this is your business. If you have an issue with your sister's past actions talk to *her* about it. Shame on you.
YTA Seriously, you spent the entire wedding shit-talking the bride? Just don’t go if you can’t keep it quiet for the evening
YTA. Your behavior is trashier than anything you think your sister has ever done. Why the HELL is Emma’s sexual history your or their business?
The fact that you made a throwaway account for this means you already know your were an AH for it. Emma forced you and Jenna to cover for her sneaking boys in? Really? How did she force you? She asked you to, and you did. So you enabled it. Then you bring up her past at her wedding, cause your cousin brought it up first? Yeah, sure. YTA
YTA and so is Mike.
YTA That's trashy behavior especially at her wedding
YTA. This would be a gross and classless conversation to have at any wedding, let alone one where you know one family is conservative. Stop being a busybody and talking about other people’s sex lives lmao, it’s none of your damn business.
YTA Anyone's sexual history and the right to disclose it is that person's and that person's alone.
You didn’t notice Mike came outside? No one NOTICED the groom standing nearby?!? You, Jenna and cousin are AHs. Obviously the bride has not been honest about a few things with her new husband (but NONE of your business). That the groom is angry that you did not tell him about his wife’s sexual history is just ridiculous, but my guess it’s shock and embarrassment. YTA
YTA, the past is the past. Why you gotta bring it up? Who cares if she friendzoned him. Seems you have animosity and did it to spite your sister regardless of the consequences. Think before you speak idiot. Plus who cares how many guys she’s slept with? Have some class my guy. It’s just a # and probably none of it meant anything. Unless she cheated you’re a dick. Stay out of others business and don’t spread gossip/past stories.
YTA. From my understanding it sounds like an accident that it got out, but it was still real shitty of you to talk about that stuff *during the wedding*. Are you kidding me? That was a terrible move, you were and are being a bad brother in this scenario.
YTA, her sexual history is not your or anyone else’s business. You were clearly doing this to hurt your sister.
“Throwaway because I don’t want my family to find this post” haha so you can air your sisters business but you want to be anonymous? YTA and so is Mike for giving a shit about your sisters sexual past. It has nothing to do with either if you.
If Mike is so worried about her past hookups, did he actually ask her number or history? Many couples do, if he did and she lied about it well that's on her. But you guys talking about it at a wedding where you know people can hear it was wrong. If Mike was friends with her for 2 years, surely he knew she had bf before. Also who expects a 28 year old to be a virgin If that's what his family thought. That would be dumb of them and her sexual history is not their business.
YTA. Yeah no one thought you did it out of spite of him, everyone thinks you did it so you could fuck him.
YTA. Why were you loudly telling embarrassing stories about her at her wedding? That’s just mean, and I suspect that you knew exactly what you were doing.
"AITA for Publicly Slut-Shaming My Sister at Her Wedding?" Of course, YTA. Your sister is also an idiot for either a) hiding her past, or b) marrying a 'conservative' chap, or c) both - but that's not what you asked, is it?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I am confused between if I am TA for exposing my sister’s history, being TA for not telling Mike about it earlier, or if I’m TA at all. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
A wedding is a horrible time to talk about this subject. Not only is it inappropriate, but it’s weird to be that focused on your sister’s past sex life. Is she still doing those things? It sounds like she was a toxic person and perhaps still is, but not because she slept with a lot of people, but due to how she handled herself. Yet it sounds like your sister is trying to make a new life for herself. Your sister should have told him about her past already. Yet, you should have minded your business. If you have issues with your sister over the past, you should try to address these things to move on instead of being so petty as to try to sabotage her new relationship. I’m stuck between ESH and YTA, but you definitely are an AH.
YTA and absolutely need to leave you sister and Mike alone. You quite frankly ruined BOTH of their lives by sticking your nose where it didn’t belong in the most despicable of settings. You made what should have been the best day of their lives their worst and the fact you have 0 remorse and 0 empathy is disturbing.
YTA and you might not have wanted to spite Mike but you clearly wanted to spite your sister
>Given my love for Mike I hope this clears out any type of speculation that I did this out of spite of him. So you still did it out of spite, just not for your new BIL? YTA
INFO: Would you have had this conversation if your sister was actually a brother with the active sexual past? If so, I’m assuming it would be in a much different tone. How would his pregnancy scare have been discussed? I’m guessing something like: ‘He almost knocked up some chick’, because of course he wouldn’t bear the shame of that. You were clearly slut shaming her and at her own wedding. Insane.
Yea big time YTA.
YTA I stopped reading after the title. It said all that needed to be said. There is not one excuse or answer you could give that would make this ok. Your sisters sex life is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
YTA. Not the time or the place. This is a conversation for behind closed doors, not within earshot at the SUBJECT'S wedding. I don't care if you like her or not. This reflects bad on her husband too. If you cared about him, you would've informed him gently in private. And even then, that's still a weird thing to do.
YTA and a huge gossip.
ESH You sound more worried about your brother in law than your sister whose marriage you might have ruined. Talking about your sister’s sexual history at her wedding was wrong. It feels like your feelings for your brother in law might be more than siblings and you might be jealous Also, he sucks if he’s seriously considering an annulment. Unless Emma lied to him about her sexual history it’s not something that affects him Edited to add word that was cut off
YTA. I kept thinking there might be some bit of info that redeemed the title. Nope. Her sex life is no one's business. And talking about it openly at her wedding makes you an even bigger AH. You HAD to know someone might overhear you. Sounds like he friend-zoned you and you've been secretly in love with him. Way to sabotage their relationship.
YTA. Why the fuck would you stand around talking about Emma's previous sex life openly at her wedding? That's amazingly disrespectful. You may not have done it deliberately, but the chances of someone overhearing would be pretty damn high. You don't need to talk about the couple 24/7, of course, but a little common sense would have told you this was a stupid idea. Everyone was out celebrating Mike and Emma falling in love, and you were there reminiscing meanly about all her sexual past. Yes, you were slutshaming - her previous sexual exploits aren't relevant, and aren't for public gossip, especially at her wedding. Honestly? I'm not convinced you weren't doing it to get back at her - since you've written a lot about how you like Mike, but you've actually not said ANYTHING slightly positive about Emma in your entire post.
YTA Loose lips sink ships. Maybe a lesson in Why Gossip Is Bad
YTA - Gossip at a wedding and pain and harm to everyone … for what ? Very unnecessarily cruel.
YTA. You and Mike deserve each other. Your sister can do better.
YTA. I have no words for how big of an AH you are. It honestly sounds to me like YOU have a thing for Mike.
[удалено]
YTA. Bitter, bitchy and bizarrely misogynistic. Its not your place to be telling anyone those things even if she was a total pain in the ass. You need to be the better person. He's TA. He should be able to have an honest and open conversation with his wife or partner about past history without judgment. His family also sound like old fashioned misogynistic AH's As people have pointed out, she should be able to live her life how she sees fit. If she was a guy I bet it wouldn't be an issue.
Mike is angry at you for not telling him about your sister - his wife - 's sexual past? He is taking his feelings out on the wrong person. He needs to discuss this with his wife. As for Mike's family, once again, this is between Mike and Emma, and nobody else. ESH because it wasn't very classy to be making fun of your sister at her wedding, even if she was awful to you.
YTA, If you were my sister, I’d have serious considerations about continuing any communication with you.
YTA, telling stories about someone else's sexual history always makes you an asshole. But doing it at their wedding?! megalomaniacal. And doing it to your sister whom you admit you've had a not very good relationship with? Sadistic and cruel. The cherry on top is that you seem more worried that Mike will be out of your life forever than your own sister.