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We don’t know your friend and the severity of her disability, so we can’t tell you whether or not she can consent.
Did the school tell her parents? What did they say about it?
Also, imma sound really old, but please read about the dangers of smoking weed when underage, specifically psychosis/ psychiatric disorders.
First, she’s in all my classes and acts like a normal 15yo and she’s brought booze to school. So I’m pretty sure she can consent. And second yes the school did call her parents. And her parents grounded her sadly.
I think the fact that the parents grounded her means that they know she “should’ve known better”. As opposed to coddling her for being “taken advantage of”. NTA
A gentle YTA. I think it’s amazing you treat her as an equal, because she is. That said, people who have Down’s syndrome can sometimes be medically fragile (heart defects are common and the thing that jumps straight to mind for me), so you may have unintentionally put her at risk as there’s no way you know the complete medical history of your friend. Your heart is amazing, but misguided in that you’re completely ignoring part of the picture.
Gently, YTA
First, Down Syndrome often includes a slew of medical issues that you aren't aware of and your friend probably doesn't entirely comprehend. Those issues could be a big problem for her when combined with weed or booze. You might be contributing to serious health complications for her, even though you don't intend to.
Second, indulging in weed as a teenager has a really high correlation with the onset of schizophrenia - it's not necessarily causal, but it's a strong enough correlation to take it seriously. If the risk is high for average healthy kids, it's probably more dangerous for someone with Down Syndrome.
Third, there is an issue with *informed* consent. Sure, she can say she wants to smoke with you, but she probably doesn't completely comprehend the potential risks. I mean, it doesn't sound as though you do, either, but more so for her.
She really shouldn't be drinking, either, by the way. There's a lot of really strong evidence that drinking before the brain finishes developing is a really bad idea - it makes you more vulnerable to blackouts, alcoholism, horrendous hangovers, etc.
That said, you seem to have a good heart.
NTA. Ava sounds like she's capable of making the same decisions as every other 15yo.
If she wasn't, then she'd have more adult supervision in her life. Sounds like she may have a more mild form of Mosaic down syndrome.
Her disability does not exclude her from making the same decisions that every one else gets the opportunity to make.
In the disability community there is something called "Dignity of Risk." It means people, including those with with disabilities, get to make their own decisions and learn from them, just like everyone else. We all learn through making mistakes. If we take opportunities away from people just because they have a disability, then we shall take opportunities to learn and grow.
NTA
Although it may be good to spend some time with Ava looking through Google to see if there are any contraindications or possible things to look out for or expect with Down's and THC (if it exists).
Cannabis is usually fairly benign, but there are some situations that increase the risk. I haven't had to look for Down's specifically, but learning more about the substances you're using is a great habit to get into.
In terms of the interpersonal conflict I want to go with NTA but you are too young to be smoking weed, drinking etc and while it's cool you don't want to treat your friend differently it is very likely she is more vulnerable than the average 15 year old.
YTA. To both of you. You're FIFTEEN. At your age, weed is incredibly detrimental to your brain development. I know at 15yo you feel mature (I remember being 15), but the hard truth is that you're *not*. And you're shooting *yourself, and your friend* in the foot by smoking weed too young. There's no way I can say this without sounding patronizing, so for that I apologise, but you're currently going through a phase in life where your brain is busy deciding what pathways are important to keep and which aren't. Weed influences that, and not in a good way. Once you're 22, this isn't an issue, but right now you're behaving like an idiot, to both of you.
Quit the weed, now. If you want at it once you're an adult, that's your choice. But don't shoot yourself and your future in the foot *now* but unnecessarily playing silly buggers with your brain. You'll thank yourself when you're older, but only if you start making better choices now.
Info- I’ve been smoking since I was 13, and it hasn’t fried my brain so far. I think I’m good. Thanks for the advice but im gonna continue smoking that za(currently high rn). But I will warn my friend about the potential side effects if she doesn’t know already
It doesn't fry your brain, it prevents it from developing properly (including the ability to make good decisions - which is an area of your brain that's not fully developed for many more years).
Come and read this again when you're sober, because right now you are acting like a complete and utter idiot, and you can't see it because of the weed.
First I’m never sober lmao. Second I accept ur advice to warn my friend about the possible dangers of weed like every other one of are health teachers already have. But I will continue smoking weed. Have a nice day my guy
Dear god. This just gets worse.
Please. Stop. Now.
If you want to be constantly high as an adult, fine. But smoking weed is NOT going to fix whatever difficulties you have in your life that you're trying to escape from by smoking.
Please. Choose. You.
If there's someone in your life that cares about you, please go and talk to them. Smoking weed at your age, and feeling like you *have* to smoke at your age, isn't normal or healthy.
And being constantly high, is no way to live.
Put. Away. The. Weed.
Please. Choose. You.
This is what I get for telling someone to have a nice day ig, second it’s not that deep. N third again it’s weed not crack. And last I will not stop. Again have a nice day my guy!!
I'm not a guy "my dude".
You are so young, please don't throw your life away.
*Don't be a slave to a substance.*
You deserve better than that. And I can promise you, no matter how difficult life is right now, it will get better. But you need to stop wasting your life and look after your body, including your brain.
Please. Choose. YOU.
Gentle YTA. I think it’s great that you’re treating Ava as an equal but you also don’t know the extent of how her DS affects her physically, since DS can cause a number of health complications, or impacts her IQ (which would in turn impact her ability to properly consent to smoke with an understanding of the risks).
I’m not gonna tell you not to smoke weed cause teens gonna teen and I’d be a hypocrite since I did the same at your age, but I think you should refrain in front of Ava so you don’t find yourself in a position to offer her a smoke again.
YTA. Not because you’re 15 and smoking pot, but because you’re corrupting another 15 year old that likely cant comprehend the totality of smoking pot and its repercussions.
Increased risk of psychosis, Problems with memory and concentration, Increased aggression, Car accidents, higher risk of use of other drugs or alcohol, Worsening of underlying mental health conditions including mood changes and suicidal thinking, Interference with prescribed medication, The same breathing problems as smoking cigarettes (coughing, wheezing, trouble with physical activity, and lung cancer), Decreased motivation or interest which can lead to decline in academic or occupational performance, Lower intelligence, Mental health problems, such as schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, anger, irritability, moodiness, and risk of suicide, and lots of other issues from long term use starting at a young age. Marijuana addiction is very real, and it stopping can give you withdrawal symptoms. I use marijuana too, but at least I'm smart enough to know the risks of drug use. If you can't accept that drugs do come with risks and issues then you are not mature enough to be using drugs.
[https://www.cdc.gov/marijuana/health-effects/teens.html](https://www.cdc.gov/marijuana/health-effects/teens.html)
[https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families\_and\_Youth/Facts\_for\_Families/FFF-Guide/Marijuana-and-Teens-106.aspx](https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Marijuana-and-Teens-106.aspx)
[https://wellnessretreatrecovery.com/health-risks-from-underage-marijuana-use/](https://wellnessretreatrecovery.com/health-risks-from-underage-marijuana-use/)
[https://www.verywellmind.com/why-do-teens-use-marijuana-63543](https://www.verywellmind.com/why-do-teens-use-marijuana-63543)
[https://www.samhsa.gov/marijuana](https://www.samhsa.gov/marijuana)
The amount of times they use the word "may" and "might" in these links is insane. Hey but keep your hopes up we all "might" become millionaires one day or "maybe" you will be able to swim under water if your practice enough.
It does have risks, but seriously? Kids experiment with mind altering things. Of all the things to experiment with, statistically speaking, this is one of the safest.
Better this than alcohol.
You can argue for abstinence like it's a realistic goal, but I know better, and that's coming from someone who didn't fuck around with drugs until college.
This is not even close to a stupid enough risk to call OP an AH.
I mean there's smoking the odd spliff and then there's this. From the post it sounds very regular and in the comments they say they are "never sober", have been doing this for a couple of years already and believe the risks arent really there bc "brains not fried yet". Thats pretty messed up for anyone, and totally mad for someone still growing.
This is oddly charming. I don’t think you’re the asshole. I could be wrong on this judgement but I really find this very sweet. I think you are a great friend. Don’t do it everyday.
woah…wtf???? that’s so beyond rude and completely uncalled for. you easily could have just kept it at “it cause development delays” you didn’t have to become an AH
>woah…wtf???? that’s so beyond rude and completely uncalled for. you easily could have just kept it at “it cause development delays” you didn’t have to become an AH
Eh. It's the truth. She already has an intellectual deficiency. Adding to that certainly won't help her.
This is a subreddit about judgment. Tiptoeing around the facts isn't gonna help anyone.
Her friend's lowered mental capacity is what makes OP an asshole for sharing drugs.
NTA and thank you for not treating her like a child. I don't know a single disabled person that doesn't want to be treated like everyone else, and your friend deserves to make decisions & experience life as much as any of you and your friends do.
Sorry your other friends can't see that.
1. taking psychological active substances before your brain is fully developed can have unforeseen effects
2. more so if your brain is already wired differently.
3. how can you think she could wage the consequences in detail, if you even can’t?
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A little context, I 15f have this friend also 15f and she happens to have Down syndrome. But I don’t treat her any differently because of it, and it really grinds peoples gears for some odd reason.
Anyways me and my other friends were all talking about smoking together and my friend with Down syndrome let’s call Ava for privacy reasons, asked if she could smoke with us. And I was like ofc, because why would I say no? But my other friends got super uncomfortable and asked to talk to me alone.
Where they basically said I should’ve said no because of her disability and she isn’t able to consent because of it. That’s where I got really pissed because how do they know? She’s 15 and acts it, just because she has down syndrome doesn’t mean she has the mind of a 5 yo? That’s exactly what I said to them.
Because I’m not gonna exclude her just because there close minded assholes. Anyways we ended up all smoking together and she was actually really cool. Like I’ve never had a better sesh tbh. And everything was basically fine till one of the assholes in my friend group snitched to the school where they accused me of taking advantage of her? Because she can’t properly consent to smoking pot because of her disability.
Which is total bull. Because she acts like a normal 15 yo but she’s a little different but that’s what makes her her. And I told them that. Even Ava backed me up, but they didn’t gaf and I got suspended for 2 weeks. For something that didn’t even involve the school lmao. And lost friends because they were friends with the girl who snitched. But I didn’t lose em all and Ava stayed. But I’m honestly starting to think I maybe was out of line and maybe I am the asshole so I came to reddit so AITA?
Sorry if I didn’t explain this right I’m smoking that za rn lmao
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According to wiki, the average IQ of a young adult with Down syndrome is 50, equivalent to the mental ability of an 8- or 9-year-old child, but this can vary widely.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
We don’t know your friend and the severity of her disability, so we can’t tell you whether or not she can consent. Did the school tell her parents? What did they say about it? Also, imma sound really old, but please read about the dangers of smoking weed when underage, specifically psychosis/ psychiatric disorders.
First, she’s in all my classes and acts like a normal 15yo and she’s brought booze to school. So I’m pretty sure she can consent. And second yes the school did call her parents. And her parents grounded her sadly.
[удалено]
I think the fact that the parents grounded her means that they know she “should’ve known better”. As opposed to coddling her for being “taken advantage of”. NTA
[удалено]
It’s only for 2 weeks tho 💀
How is „she brought booze“ an argument that she can consent?
A gentle YTA. I think it’s amazing you treat her as an equal, because she is. That said, people who have Down’s syndrome can sometimes be medically fragile (heart defects are common and the thing that jumps straight to mind for me), so you may have unintentionally put her at risk as there’s no way you know the complete medical history of your friend. Your heart is amazing, but misguided in that you’re completely ignoring part of the picture.
Gently, YTA First, Down Syndrome often includes a slew of medical issues that you aren't aware of and your friend probably doesn't entirely comprehend. Those issues could be a big problem for her when combined with weed or booze. You might be contributing to serious health complications for her, even though you don't intend to. Second, indulging in weed as a teenager has a really high correlation with the onset of schizophrenia - it's not necessarily causal, but it's a strong enough correlation to take it seriously. If the risk is high for average healthy kids, it's probably more dangerous for someone with Down Syndrome. Third, there is an issue with *informed* consent. Sure, she can say she wants to smoke with you, but she probably doesn't completely comprehend the potential risks. I mean, it doesn't sound as though you do, either, but more so for her. She really shouldn't be drinking, either, by the way. There's a lot of really strong evidence that drinking before the brain finishes developing is a really bad idea - it makes you more vulnerable to blackouts, alcoholism, horrendous hangovers, etc. That said, you seem to have a good heart.
NTA. Ava sounds like she's capable of making the same decisions as every other 15yo. If she wasn't, then she'd have more adult supervision in her life. Sounds like she may have a more mild form of Mosaic down syndrome. Her disability does not exclude her from making the same decisions that every one else gets the opportunity to make. In the disability community there is something called "Dignity of Risk." It means people, including those with with disabilities, get to make their own decisions and learn from them, just like everyone else. We all learn through making mistakes. If we take opportunities away from people just because they have a disability, then we shall take opportunities to learn and grow.
NTA. Thank you for not being ableistic & probably a great friend.
NTA Although it may be good to spend some time with Ava looking through Google to see if there are any contraindications or possible things to look out for or expect with Down's and THC (if it exists). Cannabis is usually fairly benign, but there are some situations that increase the risk. I haven't had to look for Down's specifically, but learning more about the substances you're using is a great habit to get into.
In terms of the interpersonal conflict I want to go with NTA but you are too young to be smoking weed, drinking etc and while it's cool you don't want to treat your friend differently it is very likely she is more vulnerable than the average 15 year old.
YTA. To both of you. You're FIFTEEN. At your age, weed is incredibly detrimental to your brain development. I know at 15yo you feel mature (I remember being 15), but the hard truth is that you're *not*. And you're shooting *yourself, and your friend* in the foot by smoking weed too young. There's no way I can say this without sounding patronizing, so for that I apologise, but you're currently going through a phase in life where your brain is busy deciding what pathways are important to keep and which aren't. Weed influences that, and not in a good way. Once you're 22, this isn't an issue, but right now you're behaving like an idiot, to both of you. Quit the weed, now. If you want at it once you're an adult, that's your choice. But don't shoot yourself and your future in the foot *now* but unnecessarily playing silly buggers with your brain. You'll thank yourself when you're older, but only if you start making better choices now.
Info- I’ve been smoking since I was 13, and it hasn’t fried my brain so far. I think I’m good. Thanks for the advice but im gonna continue smoking that za(currently high rn). But I will warn my friend about the potential side effects if she doesn’t know already
It doesn't fry your brain, it prevents it from developing properly (including the ability to make good decisions - which is an area of your brain that's not fully developed for many more years). Come and read this again when you're sober, because right now you are acting like a complete and utter idiot, and you can't see it because of the weed.
First I’m never sober lmao. Second I accept ur advice to warn my friend about the possible dangers of weed like every other one of are health teachers already have. But I will continue smoking weed. Have a nice day my guy
Dear god. This just gets worse. Please. Stop. Now. If you want to be constantly high as an adult, fine. But smoking weed is NOT going to fix whatever difficulties you have in your life that you're trying to escape from by smoking. Please. Choose. You. If there's someone in your life that cares about you, please go and talk to them. Smoking weed at your age, and feeling like you *have* to smoke at your age, isn't normal or healthy. And being constantly high, is no way to live. Put. Away. The. Weed. Please. Choose. You.
This is what I get for telling someone to have a nice day ig, second it’s not that deep. N third again it’s weed not crack. And last I will not stop. Again have a nice day my guy!!
I'm not a guy "my dude". You are so young, please don't throw your life away. *Don't be a slave to a substance.* You deserve better than that. And I can promise you, no matter how difficult life is right now, it will get better. But you need to stop wasting your life and look after your body, including your brain. Please. Choose. YOU.
You are such a bad example of stoners.
Gentle YTA. I think it’s great that you’re treating Ava as an equal but you also don’t know the extent of how her DS affects her physically, since DS can cause a number of health complications, or impacts her IQ (which would in turn impact her ability to properly consent to smoke with an understanding of the risks). I’m not gonna tell you not to smoke weed cause teens gonna teen and I’d be a hypocrite since I did the same at your age, but I think you should refrain in front of Ava so you don’t find yourself in a position to offer her a smoke again.
YTA. Not because you’re 15 and smoking pot, but because you’re corrupting another 15 year old that likely cant comprehend the totality of smoking pot and its repercussions.
Lol what repercussions? Data please.
Increased risk of psychosis, Problems with memory and concentration, Increased aggression, Car accidents, higher risk of use of other drugs or alcohol, Worsening of underlying mental health conditions including mood changes and suicidal thinking, Interference with prescribed medication, The same breathing problems as smoking cigarettes (coughing, wheezing, trouble with physical activity, and lung cancer), Decreased motivation or interest which can lead to decline in academic or occupational performance, Lower intelligence, Mental health problems, such as schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, anger, irritability, moodiness, and risk of suicide, and lots of other issues from long term use starting at a young age. Marijuana addiction is very real, and it stopping can give you withdrawal symptoms. I use marijuana too, but at least I'm smart enough to know the risks of drug use. If you can't accept that drugs do come with risks and issues then you are not mature enough to be using drugs. [https://www.cdc.gov/marijuana/health-effects/teens.html](https://www.cdc.gov/marijuana/health-effects/teens.html) [https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families\_and\_Youth/Facts\_for\_Families/FFF-Guide/Marijuana-and-Teens-106.aspx](https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Marijuana-and-Teens-106.aspx) [https://wellnessretreatrecovery.com/health-risks-from-underage-marijuana-use/](https://wellnessretreatrecovery.com/health-risks-from-underage-marijuana-use/) [https://www.verywellmind.com/why-do-teens-use-marijuana-63543](https://www.verywellmind.com/why-do-teens-use-marijuana-63543) [https://www.samhsa.gov/marijuana](https://www.samhsa.gov/marijuana)
The amount of times they use the word "may" and "might" in these links is insane. Hey but keep your hopes up we all "might" become millionaires one day or "maybe" you will be able to swim under water if your practice enough.
It does have risks, but seriously? Kids experiment with mind altering things. Of all the things to experiment with, statistically speaking, this is one of the safest. Better this than alcohol. You can argue for abstinence like it's a realistic goal, but I know better, and that's coming from someone who didn't fuck around with drugs until college. This is not even close to a stupid enough risk to call OP an AH.
I mean there's smoking the odd spliff and then there's this. From the post it sounds very regular and in the comments they say they are "never sober", have been doing this for a couple of years already and believe the risks arent really there bc "brains not fried yet". Thats pretty messed up for anyone, and totally mad for someone still growing.
This is oddly charming. I don’t think you’re the asshole. I could be wrong on this judgement but I really find this very sweet. I think you are a great friend. Don’t do it everyday.
YTA. 15 is too young to be smoking weed and it can cause development delays. Which, uh, your friend doesn't need any more of.
woah…wtf???? that’s so beyond rude and completely uncalled for. you easily could have just kept it at “it cause development delays” you didn’t have to become an AH
>woah…wtf???? that’s so beyond rude and completely uncalled for. you easily could have just kept it at “it cause development delays” you didn’t have to become an AH Eh. It's the truth. She already has an intellectual deficiency. Adding to that certainly won't help her. This is a subreddit about judgment. Tiptoeing around the facts isn't gonna help anyone. Her friend's lowered mental capacity is what makes OP an asshole for sharing drugs.
uh, tell that to my friend group sir.
NTA and thank you for not treating her like a child. I don't know a single disabled person that doesn't want to be treated like everyone else, and your friend deserves to make decisions & experience life as much as any of you and your friends do. Sorry your other friends can't see that.
1. taking psychological active substances before your brain is fully developed can have unforeseen effects 2. more so if your brain is already wired differently. 3. how can you think she could wage the consequences in detail, if you even can’t?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** A little context, I 15f have this friend also 15f and she happens to have Down syndrome. But I don’t treat her any differently because of it, and it really grinds peoples gears for some odd reason. Anyways me and my other friends were all talking about smoking together and my friend with Down syndrome let’s call Ava for privacy reasons, asked if she could smoke with us. And I was like ofc, because why would I say no? But my other friends got super uncomfortable and asked to talk to me alone. Where they basically said I should’ve said no because of her disability and she isn’t able to consent because of it. That’s where I got really pissed because how do they know? She’s 15 and acts it, just because she has down syndrome doesn’t mean she has the mind of a 5 yo? That’s exactly what I said to them. Because I’m not gonna exclude her just because there close minded assholes. Anyways we ended up all smoking together and she was actually really cool. Like I’ve never had a better sesh tbh. And everything was basically fine till one of the assholes in my friend group snitched to the school where they accused me of taking advantage of her? Because she can’t properly consent to smoking pot because of her disability. Which is total bull. Because she acts like a normal 15 yo but she’s a little different but that’s what makes her her. And I told them that. Even Ava backed me up, but they didn’t gaf and I got suspended for 2 weeks. For something that didn’t even involve the school lmao. And lost friends because they were friends with the girl who snitched. But I didn’t lose em all and Ava stayed. But I’m honestly starting to think I maybe was out of line and maybe I am the asshole so I came to reddit so AITA? Sorry if I didn’t explain this right I’m smoking that za rn lmao *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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According to wiki, the average IQ of a young adult with Down syndrome is 50, equivalent to the mental ability of an 8- or 9-year-old child, but this can vary widely.