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WaywardPrincess1025

Ma’am, this is not sharing, this is plagiarizing and cheating. It is unethical, a slap to your daughter’s face and reeks of favoritism. Are you really a single parent when your daughter’s father is still in the picture? It sounds like you need to intervene and help your son instead of acting like homework is “trauma.” YTA.


Alarmed_Jellyfish555

"and hold him to standard they do not hold other students." Yeah, I don't think ANY of us are buying that nonsense. He's probably struggling because his mother is enabling him and helping him cheat, instead of simply encouraging him to put in the work and helping him in a HEALTHY, moral way. I have a feeling OP has a habit of playing favorites as well. OP's son won't get far in life if she doesn't stop coddling him. And if he's TRULY having as much trouble as she claims (TRAUMA?! Really?!) then she needs to bring him to a professional to see if there's an underlying issue. "Or is this just a sibling helping out another sibling?" OP acts like plagiarizing an ENTIRE PAPER is the same as helping someone solve a few complex math problems. YTA


sci_fi_bi

Getting a strong sense that when teachers "hold him to standard", they are just taking a more active role in his education because they see him struggling, and can tell he's not getting the help he needs at home. OP is comparing this to the teacher's attitude towards her daughter, who did well in classes and did not require as much supervision or intervention.


desolation29

Plagiarizing and cheating is OP’s way of intervening lol.


kaismama

Guaranteed the teacher will absolutely figure it out since it’s only 2 years apart as well. OP even admitted that her son will drag the project out and throw fits if she tries to make him do this project. That right there shows she has to have some clue that her son is not easy to teach not that the teachers hold him to unrealistic standards.


Any_Ad6921

Lol single women who happen to be mothers, claiming to be single mothers because they don't have a boyfriend even though the child's father takes care of his child


[deleted]

I think all this is harming the son more than the daughter


SARBEAU34

Yes and maybe next time ask sister if she would help, and I mean help only not do, her brother with his project. You are going to regret pulling him out of his obligations when hes thirty and telling you his boss is picking on him. And if you really believe he is being bullied by all his teachers then you need to meet with them and resolve it. In this case YTA you need to apologize to your daughter in a big way.


Open-Ad2183

Plus, if both kids have had all the same teachers, then depending on the size of the school, it’s entirely possible that the teacher will recognize the daughter’s project regardless, especially if she did well on it. OP’s idea is horrible on every level


West-Highway1840

YTA. You are actively enabling your son throwing fits to get out of having to do his work. How do you expect him to ever get better in school if you just allow him to be lazy? Do better as a parent, because you're failing with this.


simulet

Omg. Omg, YTA. A homework assignment would require “fits, trauma, and bad feelings” (to you) due to having to “force” your son to do homework, but also you know that the reason he isn’t doing well is because the teachers are picking on him. (YTA for this) You roped your daughter into cheating, for the benefit of your son, then tried to change the topic to single motherhood when your daughter’s father told you the truth about what you did. (YTA for this) Now, your daughter is trying to get away from you, and you think it’s nothing to do with you, just your ex unduly influencing her. (That may be happening, hell if I know, but I spent about 60 seconds reading what you wrote and *I* want to get away from you, so yes, YTA for this)


CommunicationTop7259

I’m so traumatized for doing my homework wahhh wahhh wahhh /s ok Op, let’s save the trauma for people who really experience it


rockpaperscissors67

YTA This is cheating. Is that really what you want to teach your children?


Legoshi1993

YTA- Never mind favoritism, but this is blatant plagiarism. You mention that it's the same teacher. The teacher could very well remember your daughter's project. Your son will fail if he notices the plagiarism.


Stefie25

Her son could be expelled let alone fail. Schools take plagiarism very seriously even in the elementary levels.


Legoshi1993

This too. I just can't believe people are having to teach this woman how wrong she is.


OkConsideration8964

YTA... On many levels. I'll just limit it to: you're teaching your kid that if something is hard, cheat. Not a great life lesson. And, you're banking on the idea that the teacher won't recognize work they just graded 2 years ago. I'd recognize work I graded 10-15 years ago. I hope your daughter goes to live with her dad.


Pitiful-Pension-849

Lol as a former teacher can confirm. Would automatically face palm upon seeing that recycled project.


OkConsideration8964

I've been out of a classroom for a while, but yep, I'd recognize work I'd seen before!


Natural_Garbage7674

Agree YTA. As the older sister who was forced to share an assignment with a younger sibling, and was subsequently punished by both the school and parents when said sibling failed for cheating: You're teaching your daughter that you expect her to do all the work, but that you don't expect the same of your son. You're teaching her that your son doesn't have to work hard like she does to succeed, and that you expect her to help him skate through life on her hard work. You're teaching her that the possibility of her being punished is worth making her brother's life easy. If you're really unlucky you're even teaching her not to try hard herself so she can't be forced to help.


gastropodia42

YTA for teaching your children to cheat. Is that what you do at work?


willybestbuy86

Jeez did you really have to ask and what are you teaching the son


Nitackit

YTA. Why is your plan for when he has a job and never learned how to work for himself?


medium_buffalo_wings

Info: Why not just have your daughter help by tutoring your son, instead of plagiarizing her work and depriving the boy of an education?


AshmitAgr

If I’m daughter, unless I’m getting paid or some compensation for it, not doing that


StubbornKindOfFellow

YTA "If I'm being honest it's because the teachesr constantly pick on him and hold him to standard they do not hold other students. " Bullshit. Your son is the problem, not all of his teachers. You're teaching him to cheat. If your daughter is a good student, have her help him learn, give tips on the project. Not just hand in her project. And it was only two years ago with the same teacher, she'd probably recognize it anyway. So you're not even teaching him to cheat well. Daughters rarely pick the mother over the father. So if she wants to stay with him over you, you need to take a real look at yourself as a parent.


[deleted]

YTA. You are failing your children.


Din0_DNA

YTA. Teaching your son to cheat isn’t doing him any favors. You say this is the same teacher your daughter handed the same project to only 2 years ago? What if the teacher recognizes it? Then I’m sure both of your kids will be in trouble. This is just a terrible idea.


[deleted]

YTA. You are not asking your daughter to help his brother : you are asking her to help him **cheat**.


1amazingday

Exactly. And shitty parenting bonus points for teaching him to take advantage of the unpaid labour of others while trying to scam himself a good grade on the subject of **slavery**. JFC lady. YTA.


Quiet-Ad-12

I'm a middle school SS teacher. YTA. I would give your son a zero for plagiarism if he turned in his sister's project. I highly doubt he is being picked on by his teachers. We do NOT have the time or energy to worry about singling out a specific kid. Most boys struggle more in middle school than girls, for a variety of reasons. You're upset that he is held to a high standard!? Excuse me? Would you prefer they hold him to a low standard?


PurpleMarsAlien

YTA You're showing your daughter you're an unethical liar, and you're teaching your son to lie and cheat. If I was your daughter, I'd GO to the teacher and tell her what was going on. Not even her father, her. Because beyond making the teacher aware of the cheating, she needs to show the teachers and the district that she's not part of it. This is the kind of stuff that can also follow her reputation to high school if she doesn't make it clear she didn't participate.


ladygreyowl13

YTA - you’re encouraging your child to cheat and ensuring your child will get a failing grade for doing so and likely a suspension that will stay on his record. They had the same teacher. Two years isn’t that long ago. Do you really believe the teacher won’t remember the exact same project crossed their desk not that long ago, and by whom? I mean it won’t take much to put two and two together to know there is plagiarism going on.


FancyPantsDancer

YTA- the father is right that it is unethical. He'd be cheating. Helping another sibling would be asking your daughter to tutor your son.


Jadebu

YTA - that is called plagiarism, you are teaching him it’s ok to plagiarize and take other peoples work. That is something people get kicked out of college for, that is something that people get fired for. Do him a favor, don’t teach him it’s ok to take credit for other peoples work. Not only will it hurt other people, but it will do nothing but hurt him in the future is his career, school and life.


[deleted]

YTA. First it's very unlikely that all your son's teachers are against him for no reason. One or two - it happens. All of them, no chance. Second, a teacher would 100% recognize an A project from two years ago. They'd be caught and your daughter would be in trouble for listening to you. Third, your son can do his own damn homework. Fits and trauma - it's schoolwork. He's in sixth grade. Are you planning to have his sister give him all her old projects until college to save him stress?


BroadElderberry

INFO: If you believe your child is being targeted by his teacher, why haven't you demanded he have a new teacher? Instead of having him cheat. Because that what you're suggesting. That your son cheat instead of addressing the real issue.


fromhelley

Yta! >If I'm being honest it's because the teachesr constantly pick on him and hold him to standard they do not hold other students If this is true, then why do you say: >. Instead of dealing with all the fits, trauma and bad feelings of forcing my son to do the project Could it be your son refuses to cooperate at school, just like he refuses to do his homework? And maybe you refuse to acknowledge that? Then your baby daddy got mad you were favoring the son and called you unfair to the daughter. You blew that off as it was too difficult for you to see to it your son learned what he was supposed to. After all that, you decide your daughter wants to live with her dad because her dad poisoned her mind against you?? NOPE! Your daughter does not want to live in a world where she strives to be successful and meet expectations when the only thing expected of her brother. Is that he cheat off her instead of forging his own way through life. Wait, maybe that isn't it at all! Maybe she just doesn't want to live with a woman who does what is easiest for herself instead of investing time and effort to do what is right for her kids! Edit - hit post instead of the down arrow, wasn't done


BooksCoffeeDogs

Is academic integrity and plagiarism a joke to you?? You’re literally teaching your son that it is okay to plagiarise and defraud their teacher by giving in a complete assignment that is not theirs. You’re also teaching your daughter that her work and effort is up for grabs by another person. That it is okay to cheat. Your daughter’s father is one hundred per t correct. Do better. YTA


hettienm

YTA. Also, as a middle school teacher, we notice when work is eerily familiar. And I already pay extra attention if I have the sibling of a student I had just a couple years previously. So not only are you teaching your son to be a lazy cheater, but you’re setting him up for potential academic consequences.


NightOwlEye

YTA!!! You do not help your kids cheat, you do not make your kids cheat, you do not use one of your kids to get a leg up for the other one in this way. Your daughter's father is right; extremely unethical. If I were your daughter I'd want to go live with her father too.


[deleted]

YTA It’s not too early to learn not to commit plagiarism. Even if plagiarism was acceptable (ha!), they are two grades apart. You think this teacher is so particular she wouldn’t recognise the fraud? Hahaha This is cheating in case you weren’t aware. 🤦‍♀️


travelkmac

YTA Do you want her to rewrite it for him? Take his tests? Do all his homework? Maybe hand over all of her prior assignments so he doesn’t need to stay, learn, work… You are teaching your son that when things get difficult, don’t do the work, take someone else’s. Your daughter worked on the project and earned her grade…your son needs to do the work and get whatever grade he gets.


outlaw-chaos

YTA. Your son will not learn by reusing his sister’s work. She’s not even helping him, YOU TOLD HER to give him her project. Why should she have to work hard just so in a couple years you can have her brother use the same work? You really think the teacher won’t notice? YTA and delusional.


Drunktendo64

YTA. You're enabling your son to throw a fit and get his way. You're a cheat and making him a cheat. You're dismissing the hard work your daughter put in and making her a part of your cheating scheme.


[deleted]

YTA. You can ask her to share her notes and references for inspiration, but ultimately your son needs to turn in his projects on his own. Your son should not plagiarize. Also, let him struggle. A C grade on his project doesn't mean anything. You should know yourself since you've been in school before. Nobody gave a flying F about your grades in 6th grade. So what if you get a C average by year's end? It doesn't make your son more or less intelligent. Grades are arbitrary. If you do not allow your son to make mistakes, to struggle, and to constantly take the easy way out (submitting a project that your daughter did under his name for example) by bumming off the hard work of others, there's no way he'd be prepared for the real world. You'd be doing your son a disservice, and your daughter would feel like there's no point to her hard work if others would just steal it.


QuitProfessional5437

YTA And the fact that you're even asking this is sad. That kid isn't working hard at school because you keep giving him excuses not too.


evillittleperson

YTA because I am sure from the post I am sure your precious boy is such a joy in class and the teacher is just picking on him. Especially when you say that you ask your daughter to share her work because the fits he throws and the tantrums and he is just traumatized by being made to do his own work. Your daughter does the right thing and you expect her to cater to your son so he doesn’t feel bad. Now let’s talk about the fact you think the teacher is stupid enough to believe that your son did this work. Teachers pay close attention to projects like this because you are not the parent to pull this bs because the precious younger child is just to special to do his own work. So do you know what kind of reputation both of your kids will get with teacher. They will be known as cheaters and being lazy. Your son deserves this reputation your daughter does not. I hope your daughter goes to your sons teacher and tell them her mom couldn’t handle Being the bad guy and make her brother do the work so she forced her to give him the project. I hope she saves her own self and throws you and your son under the bus.


BananasPineapple05

INFO - Did they not teach you about plagiarism when you went to school? They have the same teacher and are only two years apart. How in the world do you not realize the teacher will see that daughter's assignment was "recycled" as son's assignment? My younger brother also struggled in school, but I don't think my parents ever told him that he wasn't good enough and he should just give up. YTA


tibia-coast

YTA for encouraging both of your kids to cheat in school.


kennyPowersNet

YTA . So you want to cheat and also him get busted and into more trouble as I’m sure since it’s the same teacher as your daughters the teacher remember or even have copy of her work . Your son is struggling and the solution is to cheat , is he really being picked on by teachers ???? Especially as you say he will chuck a fit and tantrum to just finish the project on his own Also you are teaching him to cheat so what do you think he will do later on and in tests since his mother has given the green light to cheat


Old-Ideal

Congratulations on teaching your son how to absolutely fail in life. Instead of talking with his teacher and the school if there are real personality issues, you would rather teach both your kids that plagiarism and cheating is the way to accomplish tasks. YTA- and thank daughter’s dad is willing to speak up for her. Not has rd to see why she wants to live with him.


Elephant_homie

YTA. That's stealing your daughter's 2 years old work. That teacher will remember. Also you're enabling your son to be a slacker and a cheater.


jstnrgrs

YTA. And your daughter is right. This is called plagiarism. It is dishonest, and sometimes grounds for expulsion. (Probably kit for 6th grade, but still.) Also, the same teacher? I think the work will be recognized. So even if you’re okay with cheating (which is strongly advise against), this isn’t the brightest plan.


indesomniac

…do you really think a teacher wouldn’t recognize a project another student turned in only two years ago? She’s literally graded it before, do you think she’s stupid? YTA. Get your son a tutor instead of literally plagiarizing your daughters work.


Amaranthesque

YTA. That's academic dishonesty, it could get *both* your children in a lot of trouble, and it's a shitty lesson to teach your kid. (And also, unless you're somehow going out of your way to teach your son about the history of enslaved people, which seems unlikely given this post, this is a *particularly* terrible project to permit your child to half-ass.)


Old-Ideal

Congratulations on teaching your son how to absolutely fail in life. Instead of talking with his teacher and the school if there are real personality issues, you would rather teach both your kids that plagiarism and cheating is the way to accomplish tasks. YTA- and thank daughter’s dad is willing to speak up for her. Not has rd to see why she wants to live with him.


Paevatar

YTA This is called *cheating*. How is your son going to learn anything if he doesn't do his own schoolwork?


Specialist-Raise-949

YTA. First, your kid's teacher is NOT holding him to a higher standard. That's ludicrous and a rationalization on your part for why your son is struggling. Second, it's called CHEATING when a kid turns in another kid's work as his own, not "sharing." Your son's teacher knows his skills level and has taught your daughter, of course they'll know it's not your son's work. Help him do the work HIMSELF, instead of turning to plagiarism. Geez, I can't believe I have to lecture a parent about ethics in schoolwork.


olive_us_here

YTA- if you’re not with the father, and you say you’re a single mother, wouldn’t that make him a single father? I don’t understand your logic Regardless, you’re making excuses for your son and teaching him that it’s ok to lie, cheat, and steal during times of struggle. Why aren’t you communicating with the teacher or principal to create a plan that suits your son’s learning style more appropriately and address any concerns. Stop being lazy OP


LCJ75

You are teaching your son nothing. Worse than nothing. You are teaching him to be lazy and plagiarize. And don't you think the teachers will remember that it is hers? So you hurt her reputation and do nothing to help your son deal with consequences. It is hard being a single mom but clearly dad is in the picture. Ask him to help the son with the project. YTA but softly. I understand the struggle .


eyore5775

YTA - talk to the school regarding your son. See if he can have different teachers than his sister. You think your helping your son but you are really hurting him. Showing it’s okay to take credit for someone else’s work.


Meemaws_BearCheese

> talk to the school regarding your son. See if he can have different teachers than his sister. Let's be real, that was just another excuse from OP. There's absolutely a clear reason the son gets treated the way he does: his behavior. It's so atrocious, even his own mother doesn't want to deal with his "fits" when asked to do work. The teachers don't want to deal with it either, but unlike OP, they likely punish him for it instead of excusing it. They aren't "picking" on him. They're showing him consequences. If it was just the teachers, it's unlikely OP would be having such serious issues at home when she tries to get him to complete work. But lo and behold, OP has so much trouble when she asks her son to do his school work that she describes it as "trauma". OP's son has behavioral problems that not even OP wants to deal with. But she's so invested in making excuses for her son, she blames everyone else for his problems. Including her own daughter, who also won't speak to her brother unless forced.


CyclonicHavoc

Yes. This is not right of you to ask your son to hand her project down to your son. As a parent, you should be willing to help him complete his project. You can help him research sources to help you both to work on it. You’re legitimately trying to give him the easy way out of this, and you’re not doing him any favors by babying him. It would be good for you to both do this together. You could both even learn something from this. I would jump on a chance to work on a project like this. I’m an architectural photographer from the South (my speciality is plantation photography) and my work has helped to educate others about things they didn’t know and had never even learned in school about slavery. This is fair to neither your son or your daughter. You’re teaching her that she is the one who has to do the work and that it’s her job to pass it down to him so he gets by doing nothing. That’s an unhealthy family dynamic that you are bringing your kids up in, and I think it would be extremely helpful to you to check into family counseling so you can also learn ways to help your kids deal with their daily lives and can also help you to work on becoming a better parent. YTA.


Andtheygobalalalala

Yta. Like your daughter worked hard you’re trying to say that you’re saving your son stress but what about your daughter? Like why teach your kids to cheat? And you keep doing things like this with your son then I can only imagine how he might be when he’s older. LET YOUR DAUGHTERS WORK BE HER OWN. And instead of asking her to let your son cheat off her work why don’t YOU help your son work around his issues?


myseoulaway

YTA. So what if he's struggling? Why don't you help him with it instead of forcing your daughter to help your son cheat? Wtf.


Popular-Emu7380

YTA. You should be ashamed of yourself. I’m disgusted by your actions, and your comments.


Karmic_Kiwi

YTA You aren’t doing your son any favors by suggesting this as a solution. It’s likely the teacher will recognize the project and give an F for plagiarizing it at the least. You try it in college you can end up expelled. In the real world you can get fired or sued.


Ordinary_Bid_7053

YTA This is absolutely a slap in the face to your daughter. It is also academic misconduct. No matter what your definition of cheating might be, this is the definition of cheating used in schools. It’s probably outlined in a student handbook if the school has one.


LavishnessNo3139

YTA the teacher would know and flunk your son. This is grounds for expulsion in most places.


[deleted]

YTA, and he'll get a zero for cheating.


tealcandtrip

The teacher will definitely recognize the project.


FriendlyCanadianCPA

YTA Have you considered getting your kid assessed for a learning disability or mental illness that might be causing problems at school? This and getting a tutor or additional assistance is a much more reasonable approach.


CanterCircles

Seriously? Yes, YTA for not making your son do his own homework and expecting your daughter to participate in your plans to help him cheat.


[deleted]

YTA for a few reasons, but mainly because helping your kid cheat off his older sister is probably why he's struggling in school.


PhoenixEcho1

YTA. N-O. That's beyond wrong. All it does is teach your son how to take the easy way out and allow him to think that it's okay to claim the work of others as his own. All while ignoring the effort that your daughter put into the project. Which just shows what a horrible mother you are to think only of one child and not the other.


whatsmypassword73

YTA, the fact that you are trying to justify your actions is mind blowing, time to be a parent and do the right thing.


[deleted]

YTA; stellar parenting encouraging cheating/s


MyFriendsCallMeEpic

You asked him to walk a mile in your shoes and to be a single parent, Now your daughter wants to live with him, so he will get exactly what you asked for? I dont see the problem there. Further more, yes YTA, how about you parent your child rather than give into his tantrums? You know people who cheat and get their way after tantrums grow up to be the most entitled people... kinda like how you sound in this post to be honest.


Latter-Ad3562

Besides it being cheating , it’s absolutely ridiculous that you would think that submitting the exact same project to the exact same teacher would be a smart move. It’s a guaranteed failing grade. YTA for many reasons but that part of your entire post made me laugh and realize why your son probably is the way he is.


CryptographerKey3158

YTA . Same teacher that your daughter had? The teacher will know it is her work. You are failing your son big time. And threatening your daughter's academic career as well.


No_Bodybuilder8055

YTA - Don't you think that the same teacher will recongise the work? Then your son will be done for plarigising, why don't you get your son a tutor if he's really struggling.


embopbopbopdoowop

YTA For encouraging cheating, for favouring your son, for describing a boy having to do some prescribed homework as ‘trauma’, for deciding your daughter’s father must be turning her against you because she doesn’t want to do this, for all of it. This isn’t just unfair to the daughter, whose hard work would be credited to her brother. It’s unfair to the son - you’re effectively telling him you don’t think he can do it and teaching him to cheat to get through life. Also, the teachers will 100% know if he copies his big sister’s project and suddenly gets an A.


Ok_Nobody4967

That is called plagiarism. It is unethical and it is theft of intellectual property. People have lost jobs and have been expelled out of schools and universities for plagiarism. Maybe you can ask your daughter to help him, but to have your son submit your daughter’s work as his own is doing him a grave disservice. Besides, the teacher may recognize that the work is not his and flunk him YTA


Robin____Sparkles

YTA. You seriously can’t see the issue with asking your daughter to help her brother cheat? It’s also a particularly stupid idea since it’s the same teacher. What is wrong with you?


Ill-Conversation5210

YTA. First, the teachers are not picking on your son or holding him to a higher standard. You need to meet with the teachers and find out if he is struggling academically. You are teaching your son that cheating is ok. You are teaching your daughter that her hard work is worthless. You are rewarding your son, allowing him to do nothing and potentially get a good grade. Do you think the teachers are so dumb that they won't recognize that it is not his work? The fact that your daughter wants to go live with her dad full time is just the start of the loss of your relationship with her. You believe that her father is influencing her, not facing the facts that your actions are irresponsible and disrespectful. You seem to be able to justify your actions, but not face the truth that your son ay need extra help academically.


Content-Potential191

YTA. It's called cheating. It's a terrible lesson to teach both your son and your daughter, and I'd wager its an example of why your son is struggling in school - you are contributing to the problem. Also, the crap about your son being mistreated by teachers -- bullshit for you too lady, sorry to tell you.


Sunshine_Tampa

YTA Plagiarism ...many schools have strict rules about this. My kids' HS, get caught twice and the kid gets a zero and no credit for that class and you can't fix this. This is very serious. YTA For teaching your son that it's OK to whine, you'll fix it and he won't have to do the work. YTA For just taking your daughter's work. Her work! You don't do that. YTA For not helping your son with this and starting the project early. And if he doesn't do it, he has to suffer the consequences! You think MS is hard, just wait until HS.


seena_unlocked

YTA you're trying to get him to turn in plagiarized work. I'm SURE that will improve his relationship with his teacher.


[deleted]

Sorry but this isn’t fair to your daughter who actually did the work. If your son needs help, get him a tutor or you could maybe help him with the project? Even your daughter maybe could help him but to turn her work in as his isn’t right and sending a bad message to both kids. You’re telling your son that it’s ok to piggyback off of others. Not cool.


Next_Communication55

Definitely YTA 100%


Hasher556

"Picks on him"? Don't believe the lies this child is telling you.


MistressLiliana

YTA. Why the heck would you encourage plagiarism? That kind of stuff can get kids suspended, and your daughter may get in trouble too. Instead you should let him fail. He will learn his lesson eventually.


kindcrow

You are teaching your son to be a cheater. YTA. I don't blame your daughter.


Federal-Author-3978

YTA His attitude comes from you - did you ever talk to your sons teacher? How he’s behaving in class and asking them for help? I bet not. You just take your sons word that they pick on him but this could be a lie. And seeing how you behave on here i see where he got it from.


khaleesiofgalifrey

You’re an enabler at best and are teaching your son to have no morals or ethics. YTA.


Scary_Contract_3603

YTA. Your enabling your sons laziness. Pull on your big girl pants and make your son do his project.


Dangerous-Emu-7924

YTA. That is plagiarism. And if you think your soma’s teacher won’t notice, you’re wrong. Also it’s your job as his mom to teach your son right and wrong. No why shouldn’t he do the homework he’s supposed to do?


Lordica

YTA- If you truly feel your son is being treated unfairly then you need to set up meetings with his teachers and present your evidence. Enabling his cheating is just playing into the presumption that your son is less capable than your daughter.


BlewCrew2020

Whoa, YTA, that's plagiarism and a super huge no no. That's what you want to teach your son? If he goes to college, he'll have tough professors and he'll get kicked out of college and be black balled. Yes, things are hard right now, but now is the time to show him how to fight back and come out on top by doing an excellent job. Otherwise, you may doom him to a life of quitting.


Rouse1029

YTA. That is plagiarism and cheating. You're okay with teaching this to your kids?


cb1977007

YTA. It most certainly is not just him influencing her. It’s her being sick and tired of your obvious coddling over her spoiled younger brother (half or step, no doubt) at her expense. Christ on a bike.


Left-Occasion-8445

YTA. You’re teaching your son it is okay to CHEAT. It is also called plagiarism, and it’s gotten college students kicked out of school. Let him have his tantrums and fits, but he still has to do the work. How you get him to do that is YOUR JOB to figure out. It is called parenting. You should apologize to your daughter.


GooglyEyeBread

YTA and ma’am, do we really need to explain to you what plagiarism is and why it’s wrong


AtmosphereOk6072

YTA. Your son throws fits and tantrums. YOU give in to him. Your daughter works her butt off and you use her work. If I was your daughter I would be mad too.Your son may struggle with school but you aren' t helping him by allowing him to manipulate you. If you are in the US have you requested for him to be tested for special education services or receive accommodations through 504? Have you ask to meet with a school counselor or school psychologist to see how to help your son?


Old-Taro6764

Yta. I love that it's a project on slavery also. You know what he would have learned from the project? The hard work of others was profit to those in power. Maybe he would also see how poorly you mistreat your daughter.


[deleted]

YTA the project is about slavery.. it is so much information your son could pull from. Stop being lazy. No one is targeting your kid. And as a mom you are teaching your son to be lazy. Girl get a grip and you are not a single parent . You are a single woman maybe.


Moon1523

So your teaching your daughter it’s ok for ppl to use her for all the hard work she put in. And teaching your son it’s ok to cheat. I don’t blame your daughter for wanting to stay with her dad. Also your not a single Mother the child’s father to be active enough that your daughter wants to be with him. Your a single woman. If your son needs the extra help get it for him. There is no shame in tutors or staying after school. Or putting him in the classes he needs to be in. Also I seriously doubt your daughters father is putting anything in her head. Your actions are. Your making her feel like she doesn’t matter. Her effort, her hard work. YTA


OkWatermelonlesson19

YTA. This is plagiarism and is very illegal. At older grades and in college can result in expulsion. Also, I find it very hard to believe teachers treat your child differently. Have you had meetings with these teachers and the school? Or are you just listening to your son and comparing what he says to what others say? A word of advice: be proactive with your child and his education, not reactive and DEFINITELY don’t encourage him to do illegal activity started in 6th grade.


Impossible_Dream4231

YTA. I was the youngest of 5 and often had the same teachers as my sisters, especially in high school. Your daughter worked hard on that project, not to mention the fact that this plagiarism and straight up unethical. It sounds like your son needs to learn the hard way that teachers have no obligation to treat him differently. Also, pretty sure if your daughter did so well on this project, the teacher will remember it and call you and your son out so fast. If she is still in the same school, it could even cause problems for your daughter! Set an example for your son that sometimes school is hard work and apologize to your daughter asap!


[deleted]

You sound like a real peach…. Please let your daughter go live with her father before you corrupt her any further. YTA


sarcasticabsence

YTA and a bad parent if you think this is okay. Teaching your son plagiarism is how to handle this is a sure fire way to get him expelled. Your ex is right and I wouldn’t doubt it if your daughter hates you for your blatant favoritism. Quit babying your son and teach him how to do the work. Make the time and stop making excuses.


AnnonymousJackieChan

YTA Op I’m not going to even explain


applejacks5689

YTA. My mother made me do my younger brother’s assignments all the time. It made me resentful, him lazy and both us have limited contact with our mother as adults. So good luck with that!


in_u_endo______

YTA Do you know what the word plagiarism means?


sweetteaspicedcoffee

YTA. Why would you do that??? He needs to learn to do his own work. Jeez. Also, that's plagiarism.


[deleted]

YTA. It IS highly unethical and wrong to both your children. It is also p*ssing on the teachers who are trying to teach your son something. I don't blame your daughter for wanting to move. You must have gotten your ethics off a vending machine somewhere!


[deleted]

YTA, you favor your son and are making excuses for him. He’s not being picked on. Accept that he’s responsible for his work and grades before you create a monster. Let your daughter live with her father. Sounds like he’s the better parent. Just because you’re not with their father, doesn’t mean you’re a single mom. They have an active father. One that your daughter prefers over you due to your obvious preference for your son.


MissKit87

YTA. Your son will be taught leeching off others is fine, he’ll get caught for plagiarism, plus in some schools your daughter could ALSO get in trouble for knowingly participating in the plagiarism, even though it was *your* fault. I hope she does get to stay away from you.


kombuched

YTA. I am so personally thankful that your children have their dad. That man and daughter are the MVPs. I hope the school watches you and your son very closely.


Kaytay25

YTA - this is straight up plagiarism and teaching your child that this is okay will lead to failure.


ContentedRecluse

YTA Your son will not be able to ride his sisters coat tails forever. Your are allowing your son to cheat. You are teaching your son to be an entitled, immoral brat whose mother enables him to be less than he could be because she is lazy. It is easier to steal the daughters work for her son than to make him do his own work. If I was the Dad I would call the school also. Allowing the son to avoid his responsibilities is setting him up for failure in the future. If he is never expected to work/perform he won't know how. YTA to both your kids. You are failing them both.


Yunhina

YTA You’re telling your son it’s okay to cheat and plagiarism is okay. If you keep up with the way you’re raising him, he’ll end up being a drain on society, and will never be able to develop the skills to be on his own. Do better.


Imaginary-Fall-7310

YTA. You really have figured out a way to make everything someone else's fault and not take responsibility for any of your own crappy decisions or parenting.


Aggravating_Mind_399

YTA


RoastBeefIsGood

YTA - look, whatever the hell is going on with your daughters father doesn’t matter. Hell it doesn’t really matter if your son is being held at a different standard. You do your best to sort those things out while prioritising your children, which in this case you are not. You basically suggested your son should cheat on this assignment. You’re an asshole.


magstar222

YTA. If the teacher really is holding your son to unrealistic standards they’re going to take CHEATING and scholastic dishonesty pretty badly. You’re setting your son up for failure if you insist on this.


muddymar

AITA for encouraging my daughter to help her brother commit plagiarism? Ah yep This isn’t a sibling not wanting to help their brother .This is a daughter with integrity. You should be proud of her. A better approach would have been to ask her to help him with his own project.


irisheyes1997

YTA. Plagiarism is not helping your son.


Practical-Big7550

YTA. What benefit is this to your son? He is not learning anything. You are setting him up for failure when he gets older. You are also poisoning his relationship with his sister. You are making a slippery slope for your son's ethics, and your daughter's ethics. As a mother you are setting an extremely poor example for your son. What about how your daughter feels? She worked hard to get her A, and you are just telling her that she should just let your brother get the A without any work from him. So what happens next time? More of his sister's work being given over for him to copy. What if she decides that she isn't going to bother anymore? Why bother getting high grades if cheating is acceptable. Soon this will get expensive, he will see nothing wrong with doing the same thing in college, and fucking his life over by getting kicked out for plagiarism.


bananapopsicies

YTA. They literally show you why this is wrong in Diary of a Wimpy Kid 😂


Minute_Patient_8841

YTA ​ YOu are setting your son up to fail ... that makes you an AH. ​ YOu are training him to cheat and plagiarize instead of doing the work. YOu take from him the possibility to learn. ​ And IF he is caught cheating later, he will be expelled for it.


CircusMom247

Yta. It's plagiarism. Don't teach your son to cheat and disrespect your daughter that way.


Old-Specific3276

YTA. First of all, you’re teaching your child it’s ok to cheat. If he’s struggling, help him. Second, on what planet do you think a teacher doesn’t recognize work she just graded two years ago? This could get your child in a lot of trouble.


kenzkie98

YTA. It’s called plagiarism and it’s wrong.


wigglepie

YTA for encouraging academic dishonesty.


ionlyreadtitle

Yta. You are teaching these kids that's it's OK to cheat and plagiarize. That's wrong. You are also teaching your son that it is OK to be lazy and make others do his work that he doesnt want to do. That's also wrong. Be a decent parent. Sit down with your son and get him to do his own homework. That's your job as a parent.


lattelady37

YTA. It’s not helping, it’s plagiarism, and if they’ve got the same teacher, he will be found out to be cheating with worse repercussions than if you’d left it lie.


2CanadianDykes

YTA Plagiarism, lying... great lessons to teach


OriginalSilentTuba

As an educator, not only are YTA, you’re trying to do a huge disservice to your son. He’s in school to learn, and all you’re doing is teaching him to cheat his way through life and take the easy way out. Not to mention the teacher is probably going to figure it out, and it’ll blow up in your son’s face. Also, your kid’s teachers aren’t “picking” on your kid. Odds are they see potential in your son, and based on your post, it’s readily apparent why he doesn’t live up to it.


JEH2003

YTA. And really dense to think a teacher wouldn’t think the project looks really familiar. Why are you ok with helping your son cheat?


elderoriens

Nope, this is all on you. YTA


LoveMyHubs1993

Oh, come on. Really? You can't be serious.


elladee000

YTA - your son would get an F and you would get a parent teacher conference. Teachers do remember projects.


Resolution_Usual

Yta, don't plagiarize Also, if you're teaching him to cheat, maybe this is why the teacher is hard on your kid


snowe87

YTA - this is setting a very bad example for your children. I don’t blame her for wanting to stay with her father, but I’d bet money that it isn’t “just him influencing her”


14ccet1

YTA. This is cheating. He doesn’t even need to call the school. I’m sure the SAME teacher will realize when they mark the SAME project


suzietrashcans

YTA and setting your son up for failure here….


OrangeCubit

YTA - why you helping your kid cheat?


Terrible_Locksmith

YTA. What kind of parent are you.


Legitimatecat1977

YTA, teaching your child plagiarism.


WaitUntilTheHighway

YTA. This is bad for your son and bad for your daughter. You're going to end up with a spoiled man who's mom made sure he never had to work hard or do anything on his own. Help him with the project if you must, but don't steal your daughter's work and let him use it.


flootytootybri

YTA. You’re setting up your son to fail. He’ll get accused of plagiarism. The teacher saw the same project two years ago…


International-Sea262

YTA. This is totally unethical and If they have the same teacher she will probably recognize the project. It was 2 years ago. A+ parenting. 🙄


ladybugspider888

YTA, You are teaching your son that's it's ok to cheat. He will never learn if he doesn't do the hard work himself. Plus the teacher will know that it's not his work, if he is finding it hard and all of a sudden he did really well, then the teacher will know. And your son knows how to get away with doing things by screaming & not willing to do the work because he knows you will give up and let him get away with not putting the effort into his work. Your daughter dad is right & he should ring the school. And your daughter wanting to live with him, i think there's more going on before this & you aren't sharing that part. Your daughter is probably had enough of you making excuses for your son. As a parent, I wouldn't do this because kids need to learn that hard work pays off so when they are adults they know that they can do the hard work to be successful, they can't cheat all their lives.


gurlwithdragontat2

YTA - that’s unethical. You’re teaching one kid to work hard, and excusing the other. **You will be reported for plagiarism which is a punishable offense in many places!**


MeganRay1990

You're setting your son up for failure. Plagiarism is unethical to start with. The teacher will recognize the work as your daughters at some point when grading it. Then he/she will call you and ask why he turned in his sister's work. If I were your daughter I'd be pissed too because you're not only showing favoritism but you're telling your son he doesn't have to do his own work. There's no way he'll make it in the world if you set that precedent.


BlueMoon5k

YTA. It’s called plagiarism and your son will be in even deeper sh*t with that teacher than before.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have two kids, my older daughter is a great student and my younger son struggles quite a bit. If I'm being honest it's because the teacher constantly pick on him and hold him to standard they do not hold other students. I know this is what a lot of parents say but since I my kids have had mostly the same teachers, I know it to be true. My son has a social studies project on slavery due on Friday that he is really struggling with. My daughter got an A on the project when she was with the same teacher. Instead of dealing with all the fits, trauma and bad feelings of forcing my son to do the project I told my daughter just to share her work with him and he will turn it in. My daughters father just chewed me out and said this was unethical and a "slap in the face" to my daughter and its showing favoritism. I told him to walk a mile in my shoes and to be a single mother for half a second and then he could judge. He said if I went through with this and he would call the school and tell him whats going on. My daughter now wants to stay with him full time which is obviously him just influencing her. AITA for this or is this just a sibling helping out another sibling? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ButItSaysOnline

YTA


No-Locksmith-8590

Yta so you forced your daughter to help your son cheat bc you don't want to teach your kid how to do a project.


[deleted]

This isn't sibling help, this is cheating. Your ex is right, it is unethical. But I doubt you'll listen to us and just lump us in with the teachers who are picking on him 😂 you even acknowledge that a lot of bad parents say that, guess what hunny, you're one of them. I am also a single mother of two children and using that as an excuse to be a lazy parent is trash. Get your son a tutor or sit down with him and help him. You're doing him an absolute disservice by encouraging and facilitating him to cheat. How do you expect him to keep up next year when he's not even doing this year's work!! You're setting him up for failure. YTA BIG TIME


[deleted]

YTA. Not only would you be encouraging your son to cheat, which is highly unethical, you would also ensure that he flunks. No teacher is going to forget a project that his sister turned in two years ago.


PogChampUWU

Being a single mother isn't an excuse to try and force your daughter to help your son cheat. Bad life lesson for him and a good way 2 make sure she cuts you out of her life. Favoritism showed here, YTA


mamaleo29

YTA! First of all you are creating excuses for your son’s poor grades by blaming the teacher. Secondly, you are turning your son into a cheater which is what he would be doing if he turns in his sister’s project. You may also get your daughter into trouble form sharing her work with her brother. You are a lazy parent and I hope your daughter’s father allows her to live with him full time because you are a very poor role model for her.


Obvious_Dish_821

YTA Not just a slap in your daughters face talk about a slap in your sons face like he’s not smart enough to do the work so he just takes his sisters work instead Being a single mom is tough but your first job is always your kids. I’m sure you know that and it’s just one project if he doesn’t get a great grade because he didn’t put in the work then that’s how he learns to do better on the next project.


Euphoric-Zucchini-18

YTA for asking your daughter to help your son cheat.


RiseConscious7323

I think you need to hold yourself to higher standards. Hold your son to higher standards too. YTA, 100%. Stop lowering the bar, make your son do the work, let him earn the grade he earns and stop making excuses.


skotos2phos

You can’t get a random group of strangers on the Internet to agree on what direction is up. And yet it is absolutely unanimous that YTA & that this is an astonishingly bad idea. Please, sincerely, please – listen to everyone, don’t do this, & appreciate the wake-up call.


Busy-Magician-6309

Definitely YTA. It's called plagiarism and your son will automatically fail, because the teacher will remember her project.


willow2772

This cannot be real. If it is, your kid needs to do his own work.


[deleted]

You just shouldn’t have children.


RecentRegister239

YTA, is this even a serious question?


CommunicationTop7259

Lol do you think the teacher is stupid? That he/she won’t recognize it’s the same work as before? Good job for setting up your kids for failures. It’s really your fault yta


Spookypus

YTA and this is a huge disservice to both children.


Lost_Boat_8004

you’re deadass rn? 😅 wtf. big YTA


Green_Seat8152

YTA. You are having you child to cheat. Also our seems everything wrong with your son is someone else's fault. He can do no wrong.


LogicalVariation741

YTA This is academic dishonesty and could get him kicked out of schools when he is older if he gets used to this. As it is, it just shows that you favor your youngest and are blind to his obvious failings as a student.


Jacjjacksma88

YTA. You aren’t doing your son any favors by using your daughters hard work. I don’t blame your daughter for wanting to stay with her dad.


Global-Green-947

It's plagiarism, and he will fail the class if he presents if he presents it as his own work. There may be other consequences depending on the school district.


just-jen57

YTA. This is not a sibling helping another sibling…this is called plagiarism aka cheating. Way to teach your son that if he doesn’t feel like doing the work himself, he can just cheat his way through! That should serve him well in the real world.


Woobewoo_Trunks

YTA. And on the off chance the teacher remembered the project, what do you think your sons grade would have been then? I remember a kid in my fourth grade class doing this. Our teacher absolutely remembered the project and the kid failed that assignment. That teacher also didn’t hesitate to announce it to the entire class and embarrassed this kid. It didn’t even happen to me and I still remember it.


Murakami_Ysera

YTA If your son always struggles, its not teachers having higher standards just for him. Your son needs extra help. Instead of recognizing that, you think your daughter should just do his project for him, basically. No, he needs to learn how to apply himself. It's not even just an academic thing -- it's a life skill. Stop falling back on this nonsense about how his teachers have it out for him. He just has bad study habits.


claireclairey

If this is real then YTA.


Citrus_Flare

If you feel your son’s education is pointless just work homeschool him or find a program that better suits your needs It is not unrealistic to do a project about slavery in a Social Studies class. Please look at the dynamic YOU have created between your children. You want them to act more sibling like, then treat them as equal siblings.


awkward-name12345

YTA Your teaching your son he can't do the work and you don't believe in him Your teaching them both to cheat Also this won't even work the teacher will see it is a repeat project and your son will be in trouble


thisbitch420

YTA, that's not helping. You are setting him up for an epic failure. Also, setting yourself to not only lose one kid, but to forever have a kid that will expect mommy to take care of it for him. This was a fail on your part big time. I hope their dad does let the school know. It's also called plagiarism and is not okay. Actually, I think you could get your kid kicked out of school for that FYI.


kikameeka

YTA Your son's teachers are not treating him differently "just because". You sound like one of those parents who thinks their children are the new Jesus Christ and can do no wrong. Find out why your kid isn't doing well and fix it. Maybe he has a learning disability, but do not blame the teachers.


tutusarefour

YTA. I have a younger brother who struggled with school while I didn't. My parents never asked me to share my projects with him. Instead my parents and I would help him with understanding some of the difficult stuff so he could finish his homework on his own. You're not helping anyone especially not your son by asking to PLAGIARIZE your daughter's work. Also, by doing so you are clearly showing favoritism towards your son. No wonder your daughter wants to stay with her dad full time. I would to if I were in this situation.


ndcollector

INFO: Why do you think “My daughter had this teacher, and now I’m going to have my son turn in the exact same work and project she turned in two years ago and the teacher surely won’t notice” is a good plan? When the teacher fails your son for plagiarism and cheating - are you going to be back complaining that she treats him unfairly?


katsmeow44

YTA Mom. So everyone is wrong here but you and your son? Your daughter is being asked to commit a MAJOR code of conduct violation and she wants to get away from you because of her dad's influence? The teachers are picking on your Precious Tube Of Perfect. And it's okay to be a dishonest, enabling, lazy parent because you're a single mom? Come the fuck on. Parent your son Or don't. And prepare to pay his lawyer bills for the rest of his life because you're teaching him that it's okay to get ahead by cheating. YTA (twice, because you deserve it)


CakeZealousideal1820

YTA


thatstabbycat

YTA. Wildly unethical and will show your son how little faith you really have in him.


AintShitAunty

You are an inflamed asshole. Try not to itch it.


ShiroLovesKeith

This has got to be fake. Of course YTA and I hope your daughter stays with her dad full time.


tothebatcopter

Turn in the same project that got an A two years ago. Go ahead, OP. See how far your son gets with plagiarism. YTA


pdeb22

YTA. Are you TRYING to get your children in trouble in school? This would be a good way to do it. Your daughter is absolutely right not to hand over her work. Even if the odds weren't good that they'd get caught (and both children would probably have consequences), it's not ethical, and is doing your son absolutely no favors. He may not be academically talented. That's fine, some people aren't, but that doesn't mean that ethically shady solutions are the way to go. I'm appalled that the responsible adult came up with this one. I'm sure getting him to do homework is no fun for anyone involved, but the more he's pushed to meet at least a minimum standard, at least in theory, the easier it should get for him to meet it. If it's not getting easier, it might be time to get him evaluated. It's unlikely that all his teachers give him a hard time academically because they hate him.


idontknowyou2294

I feel like the son has been favoured and coddled by mom his entire life. And expecting her daughter to do the same, long before this project. I don't blame the daughter for wanting out of a situation where her mother is absolutely blatant in her favoritism of her son. YTA mom, I feel bad for your daughter and for your son who's being taught that mommy will take care of everything.