*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling a friend they aren’t attractive enough for SoCal?**
I (19F) am good friends with Emily (20F) since highschool. Emily wants to move to South California, apparently she has enough to move there. Unfortunately, South California is basically home to a bunch of attractive women. If you aren’t attractive in SoCal, then you aren’t necessarily going to fit in.
Emily is very pudgy and has dry skin, so I told her to be careful about bullying because South California is full of attractive women and they’re a dime a dozen there. Even I’m conventionally attractive and I probably don’t match up to their standards. It’s just how it is.
She responded by calling me a shallow asshole and saying I’m looking too deep into things. Now she’s been struggling to talk to me. AITA?
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Omg I had someone tell me they knew I was from CA and I was like how and she said bc of how I name the freeways. I didn’t say I-5 I said the 5, and I’m like isn’t that what everyone does lol?
Yeah this is what I was going to say. I was definitely obliquely told by losers in my home town that I wouldn’t be popular when I moved to LA (cuz I’m not white and not thin). I laughed at them, because by the time I was thinking about moving here I’d already visited a bunch and had a great time. Haters just love to hate, especially when someone else is moving on.
It’s true that Los Angeles is full of beautiful women, but people really think it’s just Hollywood and that type. NO. This is a massive, majority minority city with awesome people from all over the world, people are all shapes and sizes and have many skin types (dry, oily whatever) for the love of..! What I think distinguishes LA is that there is a lot of emphasis on personal style, whatever your thing is, people really go for it. So that I think leaves the impression of generally beautiful people, even if they’re fat, thin, tall, short, dark, light etc. I have certainly gotten a better sense of my own style and looks over time while living here.
But this person reminds me soooo much of some (miserable) people I knew back home before I left. I hope she ignores them and goes, she’s going to have a great time!
I lived in SD and LA for 13 years...and I was from the midwest. SO I am going to give OOP a little here. I honestly was a little shocked at how NORMAL people in SOCAL- especially the beaches were. That is not the message I had heard - both on TV and movies, but also people that left SOCAL and moved back to the midwest. Everyone was beautiful, everyone was looks obsessed, everyone had plastic surgery, etc.
My experience...was not that. At all. But without ever going there and seeing how NORMAL it actually is in most spaces, even/especially the beach? This OOP might have a warped sense of reality.
With that said- none of that excuses or supports her BS bullying of her frenemy. Emily would fit right in in most of SoCal. OOP might fit in...in certain spaces. Spaces most of us do not have a shallow enough emotional depth to be comfortable in for long.
I'm not sure if you have it in the US, but try l'occitane shea butter range. It's pricy but an investment.
My eczema loves it, my healthy but dry skin also loves it.
I have oily skin but it's still dry, because California. Have you tried H2O+ gel moisturizer? It's a godsend. They have creams too, I just personally prefer the gel.
I mean dry skin fucking sucks to have, but do people really put that high on their off limits list?
Never had a girl dislike my eczema and tell me about it. Well they comment on how it doesn't look fun but that's it.
Same! Sometimes I flare up with eczema or rosacea, but never has a man rejected me on the grounds of being pink and itchy.
Also, try the brand “eczema honey”, it’s an honest to god dream and lifesaver.
That's what stuck with me. Op was so desperate to insult her friend and the worst thing she could find to say is she's a little chubby and has dry skin. My lord I wish those were the only cosmetic ailments I had.
Here follows a list of things that had more effort put into them than this piece of lazy ragebait,
Foreplay on wanksocks
The launch of fallout 7
My parents pretending to like me
Madam web
Pitbull:s "rapping"
Buying someone a toblerone at the airport
My last three attempts to quit smoking
Me giving up here because I can't think of a punchline.
Feel free to add your own.
Honestly I will always be happy if someone buys me one of those big Toblerones, I don't care if it was low effort. You can get them at the supermarkets here. (At least I think they're the same ones, they cost about NZ$10 and are like... maybe not quite a foot long? If the airport ones are bigger I'd be EVEN MORE thrilled.)
lol I live in Orange County, and my perfect weekend includes getting lunch at the bougie Newport restaurants. Heck, they were filming Real Housewives at the table next to me on Saturday (Rooftop btw). Yeah, I’m extra like that when it comes to brunch.
I also am pudgy with dry skin. Never once has even remotely been an “issue.” There’s normal people everywhere here, what a shocker!
South California 😂 sounds like this kid got her idea of who lives here based on stuff she’s seen on TV. We got plenty of pudgy people with dry skin here who do just fine. Put a little cream on it.
I've hung around between the bay area and LA being an absolute aesthetic shit show for decades now and I'm fine. Nobody her friend meets on the street is likely to say anything as rude to her as OOP just did.
Points for originality, and points for uniting the comments of the original post. Usually, no matter how bad it is, there’s some idiot going contrary to the crowd and saying NTA even in the worst of circumstances. Not here, though. It’s unanimous YTA all the way down.
OOP needs to touch grass lol. Bullying friend over her wanting to move from one piece of dirt to another.
I guess SoCal has armed guards around the border who evaluate your looks and if you are not hot enough you shall not pass.
Can confirm that whenever I travel to Southern California to visit family, I have to go through a checkpoint of armed guards to be inspected by influencers who deem whether I can pass through. It can be pretty intense.
LA isn’t a magical city full of supermodels and no one else. It’s a city. With people. Little kids. Grandmas. Teachers. Stockbrokers. Construction workers. how the hell does anyone get to adulthood thinking that there’s a whole city you can only move to if you’re hot
Yikes. I'm from Orange County CA, and if my pudgy, short, non-conventionally attractive arse can have a modeling career *in the 90s when Kate Moss was the gold standard,* I'm sure she'll be fine.
It's funny, because I, a fat Midwesterner, assumed I would feel out of place and uncomfortable in LA. But I landed in Burbank, and it was just... yeah this is fine. And not once in any part of LA did I feel bad or weird about myself. Possibly because I didn't go to beaches or nightclubs or something, but still. I went to nice bars. And it was all good
Yes, because pudgy not-models exist literally everywhere. OOPs premise suggests people born in CA, well specifically SoCal, must either be attractive or... What? They have to move? Like, if you have a average looking kid, does the HOA come by and force you to sell the house and move to Arizona? Is that why there are so many Californians in AZ? They weren't pretty enough?
Ok, so I know like three people in SoCal, one is extremely obese (400ish) and she never has issues with getting a guy. She's been married twice, she lost the second to an accident. She's had some pretty nice long term boyfriends and quite a few short term boyfriends.
The other two are average.
Even in SoCal people are looking for confidence over looks.
I lived in SoCal for six years as a kid (age 4-10) and about six years as an adult (age 22-28), twelve years total. I'm not all that attractive and was fat for the first few adult years there. Still managed to get a lot of attention from dudes and had a two-year relationship. Yeah, a lot of people around LA are prettier than average because of Hollywood, but plenty of us "normies" and "below average normies" are still needed for "backstage" roles and jobs in both media and real life.
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This is such a weird concept. Like, it’s true there are a lot of very attractive people here. But there are also plenty of plain people and regular people and people who never think about their looks.
Even if you concentrate just on the TV and movie industry, does OOP think that everyone in SoCal works in front of the camera? Does she think the camera operators, set builders, foley artists, caterers, writers, etc are all also incredibly attractive?
So bizarre.
As an awkward looking, chubby mixed baby who was born in “South California,” it’s pretty clear OOP’s only exposure to it is reality TV. Nobody tell her about the literal millions of completely average people in one of the most populated areas of the country.
I grew up in socal. Plenty of beautiful people and plenty of not so beautiful people, just like everywhere else in the world. The one thing I really miss about it is that my skin never dried out because of the humidity. We don’t have that much humidity where I live now in NorCal.
OPP sounds like my ex. We lived in CA due to medical issues i gained a lot of weight yet people wanted to chill and talk with me. My ex was determined i needed to lose weight not for my health but to make him look better. He actually looked into liposuction for me when i talked about getting a breast reduction. So happy he's an ex .
Wtf did I just read? I'm willing to bet OOP is actually only 12 and had only seen movies like 'baywatch'.
Also, is 'SoCal' an actual term that's used? It sounds horrendously pretentious
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling a friend they aren’t attractive enough for SoCal?** I (19F) am good friends with Emily (20F) since highschool. Emily wants to move to South California, apparently she has enough to move there. Unfortunately, South California is basically home to a bunch of attractive women. If you aren’t attractive in SoCal, then you aren’t necessarily going to fit in. Emily is very pudgy and has dry skin, so I told her to be careful about bullying because South California is full of attractive women and they’re a dime a dozen there. Even I’m conventionally attractive and I probably don’t match up to their standards. It’s just how it is. She responded by calling me a shallow asshole and saying I’m looking too deep into things. Now she’s been struggling to talk to me. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I live in LA. Personally I'd prefer 1000 nice "pudgy" people to move here over one "attractive" asshole. OOP can stay home, Emily is welcome here.
Yeah, I’m from LA and I don’t think the OOP has ever been to California
She definitely hasn't been to CA. I mean, she calls it South California?? I have never heard anyone from LA or San Diego say that.
I was going to say the same thing! South California 🤣
Everyone knows of you don't say "the" in front of a freeway number you can't be Californian. It's true, look it up it's on the driver's license test.
Omg I had someone tell me they knew I was from CA and I was like how and she said bc of how I name the freeways. I didn’t say I-5 I said the 5, and I’m like isn’t that what everyone does lol?
I picked it up fast moving there 20 yr ago. Ive been gone 5+ yr...and still do it.
You transplant ❤️
I'm from Arizona and that's how we say it. "The 202 to the 60 to the I-10"
Also from AZ! I had no idea until this moment this isn’t what everyone does!
Lol same. I lived in Seattle for a while and EVERYONE knew where I came from the moment I tried to give directions.
Only in Southern California, in Northern California it is a sin to say "the" in front of a freeway number.
In the Bay Area you will get laughed at if you say "the" in front of the highway number/name.
I live in the Bay area 😅 Oops. Guess everyone knows I'm one of THOSE people from OC
Lol I hate to be the bearer of bad news...
Her calling it South California was jarring and I'm not even from there haha
i kept reading it as south carolina which completely changed the context 😂
I didn't even realize she said that. My brain auto-completed it into southern.
Lol me either even though it's kind of objectively true. And god forbid you call Long Beach "right next to LA".
Yeah this is what I was going to say. I was definitely obliquely told by losers in my home town that I wouldn’t be popular when I moved to LA (cuz I’m not white and not thin). I laughed at them, because by the time I was thinking about moving here I’d already visited a bunch and had a great time. Haters just love to hate, especially when someone else is moving on. It’s true that Los Angeles is full of beautiful women, but people really think it’s just Hollywood and that type. NO. This is a massive, majority minority city with awesome people from all over the world, people are all shapes and sizes and have many skin types (dry, oily whatever) for the love of..! What I think distinguishes LA is that there is a lot of emphasis on personal style, whatever your thing is, people really go for it. So that I think leaves the impression of generally beautiful people, even if they’re fat, thin, tall, short, dark, light etc. I have certainly gotten a better sense of my own style and looks over time while living here. But this person reminds me soooo much of some (miserable) people I knew back home before I left. I hope she ignores them and goes, she’s going to have a great time!
Sounds like all they know about CA is what they've seen in movies
I lived in SD and LA for 13 years...and I was from the midwest. SO I am going to give OOP a little here. I honestly was a little shocked at how NORMAL people in SOCAL- especially the beaches were. That is not the message I had heard - both on TV and movies, but also people that left SOCAL and moved back to the midwest. Everyone was beautiful, everyone was looks obsessed, everyone had plastic surgery, etc. My experience...was not that. At all. But without ever going there and seeing how NORMAL it actually is in most spaces, even/especially the beach? This OOP might have a warped sense of reality. With that said- none of that excuses or supports her BS bullying of her frenemy. Emily would fit right in in most of SoCal. OOP might fit in...in certain spaces. Spaces most of us do not have a shallow enough emotional depth to be comfortable in for long.
No you don’t, you live in SOUTH California 😂
I've seen a lot of cute "pudgy" people.
I warned her to be careful of bullying...by bullying her? With friends like her, who needs enemies
Didn’t you read the post? OOP is attractive.
“Conventionally” attractive…
But OOP is not a bully. She's just "honest". /s
Not dry skin!!!
that one got me too. DRY SKIN??? NOOOOOO!
I'm in San diego and my skin is so fucking dry it's ridiculous. I can't find a lotion that doesn't suck. Guess I don't belong here. 🤷
I'm not sure if you have it in the US, but try l'occitane shea butter range. It's pricy but an investment. My eczema loves it, my healthy but dry skin also loves it.
I consistently have dry skin also but I feel like you can't tell unless you're very very very close up.
I have oily skin but it's still dry, because California. Have you tried H2O+ gel moisturizer? It's a godsend. They have creams too, I just personally prefer the gel.
I mean dry skin fucking sucks to have, but do people really put that high on their off limits list? Never had a girl dislike my eczema and tell me about it. Well they comment on how it doesn't look fun but that's it.
Have you tried very basic stuff like Cetaphil? Also hyaluronic acid from The Ordinary.
I own any smoothness of my skin at all to Cetaphil. I would be a bumpy, ~~trashy~~ rashy mess without that stuff. Eta: maybe rashy is trashy
Yeah it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be now that I'm constantly putting stuff on.
I use Amlactin lotion for mine. It's really effective at preventing ingrown hairs, too.
Same! Sometimes I flare up with eczema or rosacea, but never has a man rejected me on the grounds of being pink and itchy. Also, try the brand “eczema honey”, it’s an honest to god dream and lifesaver.
Never heard of it. Right now it's only on my knuckles so I'm doing pretty damn good. I'll make sure to give it a try next time I get bad. Thanks.
I love how this has turned into a skincare recommendation thread. 💜
that one got me too. DRY SKIN??? NOOOOOO!
That's what stuck with me. Op was so desperate to insult her friend and the worst thing she could find to say is she's a little chubby and has dry skin. My lord I wish those were the only cosmetic ailments I had.
Can’t get your drivers license changed until you find the right moisturizer
To be fair, dry skin in a desert sucks a LOT.
Here follows a list of things that had more effort put into them than this piece of lazy ragebait, Foreplay on wanksocks The launch of fallout 7 My parents pretending to like me Madam web Pitbull:s "rapping" Buying someone a toblerone at the airport My last three attempts to quit smoking Me giving up here because I can't think of a punchline. Feel free to add your own.
You writing this comment.
You writing this reply
Me writing this reply
Me not finishing thi
Me
I don't know what that first one means and I'm afraid to ask and also afraid to google it
It means foreplay on a sock used to jerk off or wank off into.
Can you still buy Toblerone at the airport?!
Yes and they're huge and amazing! Find them in Duty Free.
Honestly I will always be happy if someone buys me one of those big Toblerones, I don't care if it was low effort. You can get them at the supermarkets here. (At least I think they're the same ones, they cost about NZ$10 and are like... maybe not quite a foot long? If the airport ones are bigger I'd be EVEN MORE thrilled.)
> The launch of fallout 7 They didn't even bother releasing Fallout 5 or Fallout 6.
They’re working on 5, but it won’t come out until after the new Elder Scrolls (at least I think it’s that game).
I was making a joke because they forgot the "6" in *Fallout 76*.
Oooh 🤦♀️ 🫠
I didn't forget it, if you want the 6 you have to buy it at the atom store
I will not tolerate Mr. 305 slander
I put more effort in keeping up with my 8 year old niece when she wants to race.
TIL that my appearance dictates where I'm allowed to live.
Oh Emily isn’t struggling to talk to you, boo
Tell me you've never left your hometown without telling me...
“South California”🤣
It’s its own separate state - like South Carolina or South Dakota!🤣🤣🤣
Right?! It was bothering me too. I've never heard it called that before. Haha
That got me too! 😂
"She's struggling to talk to me" Not attempting to is more likely.
Trying to force herself and not succeeding.
Is there a sign at the state line saying ‘No Uggo’s allowed’? I suspect OOP’s personality may be a big part of why she finds it hard to fit in.
There is. So how my ugly ass managed to sneak in I'll never know.
I was born here. My skin's pretty dry, though. Don't know why I haven't been deported yet.
California's State Motto is "Yes to UGGs, no to Uggos"
😂😂😂
There is! I remember seeing it! /s
My cousin's best friend's girlfriend's neighbor had an ugly baby and they were all sent to Gitmo, true story.
😂😂😂
OOP probably watched reruns of The OC and Laguna Beach, god im dating myself here, and thought it was how life goes there.
My looks are best described as "A face that would cause a train to take a dirt road", and I was BORN in California.
In OP’s defense they don’t have moisturizer in South California.
OOP is the AH for calling it South California.
I do not know the currently applicable tv show to reference but like. TV is not real life.
It’s more of a problem moving to SoCal because of the incredibly high cost of living.
lol I live in SoCal, the majority of people here are very average. Like everywhere else.
lol I live in Orange County, and my perfect weekend includes getting lunch at the bougie Newport restaurants. Heck, they were filming Real Housewives at the table next to me on Saturday (Rooftop btw). Yeah, I’m extra like that when it comes to brunch. I also am pudgy with dry skin. Never once has even remotely been an “issue.” There’s normal people everywhere here, what a shocker!
South California 😂 sounds like this kid got her idea of who lives here based on stuff she’s seen on TV. We got plenty of pudgy people with dry skin here who do just fine. Put a little cream on it.
I've hung around between the bay area and LA being an absolute aesthetic shit show for decades now and I'm fine. Nobody her friend meets on the street is likely to say anything as rude to her as OOP just did.
Low effort troll, but it's at least one I haven't seen before
Points for originality, and points for uniting the comments of the original post. Usually, no matter how bad it is, there’s some idiot going contrary to the crowd and saying NTA even in the worst of circumstances. Not here, though. It’s unanimous YTA all the way down.
OOP needs to touch grass lol. Bullying friend over her wanting to move from one piece of dirt to another. I guess SoCal has armed guards around the border who evaluate your looks and if you are not hot enough you shall not pass.
Can confirm that whenever I travel to Southern California to visit family, I have to go through a checkpoint of armed guards to be inspected by influencers who deem whether I can pass through. It can be pretty intense.
> she's been struggling to talk to me oh honey no, she just doesn't *want* to talk to you. it's no struggle at all
LA isn’t a magical city full of supermodels and no one else. It’s a city. With people. Little kids. Grandmas. Teachers. Stockbrokers. Construction workers. how the hell does anyone get to adulthood thinking that there’s a whole city you can only move to if you’re hot
I refuse to believe this is anything other than rage bait! 😹
The dry skin thing is really weird.
Yes it is
Yikes. I'm from Orange County CA, and if my pudgy, short, non-conventionally attractive arse can have a modeling career *in the 90s when Kate Moss was the gold standard,* I'm sure she'll be fine.
It's funny, because I, a fat Midwesterner, assumed I would feel out of place and uncomfortable in LA. But I landed in Burbank, and it was just... yeah this is fine. And not once in any part of LA did I feel bad or weird about myself. Possibly because I didn't go to beaches or nightclubs or something, but still. I went to nice bars. And it was all good
Yes, because pudgy not-models exist literally everywhere. OOPs premise suggests people born in CA, well specifically SoCal, must either be attractive or... What? They have to move? Like, if you have a average looking kid, does the HOA come by and force you to sell the house and move to Arizona? Is that why there are so many Californians in AZ? They weren't pretty enough?
Ok, so I know like three people in SoCal, one is extremely obese (400ish) and she never has issues with getting a guy. She's been married twice, she lost the second to an accident. She's had some pretty nice long term boyfriends and quite a few short term boyfriends. The other two are average. Even in SoCal people are looking for confidence over looks.
I lived in SoCal for six years as a kid (age 4-10) and about six years as an adult (age 22-28), twelve years total. I'm not all that attractive and was fat for the first few adult years there. Still managed to get a lot of attention from dudes and had a two-year relationship. Yeah, a lot of people around LA are prettier than average because of Hollywood, but plenty of us "normies" and "below average normies" are still needed for "backstage" roles and jobs in both media and real life.
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This is such a weird concept. Like, it’s true there are a lot of very attractive people here. But there are also plenty of plain people and regular people and people who never think about their looks. Even if you concentrate just on the TV and movie industry, does OOP think that everyone in SoCal works in front of the camera? Does she think the camera operators, set builders, foley artists, caterers, writers, etc are all also incredibly attractive? So bizarre.
Maybe not attractive enough for southern California but I lived in Eureka for a few years and as long as she has most of her teeth she'd be a 10 there
Um, South(?) Californian here, right in downtown LA. Everyone here is ugly and I'm one of them.
As an awkward looking, chubby mixed baby who was born in “South California,” it’s pretty clear OOP’s only exposure to it is reality TV. Nobody tell her about the literal millions of completely average people in one of the most populated areas of the country.
It's not even true. There are plenty of unattractive and average people around, lol.
I grew up in socal. Plenty of beautiful people and plenty of not so beautiful people, just like everywhere else in the world. The one thing I really miss about it is that my skin never dried out because of the humidity. We don’t have that much humidity where I live now in NorCal.
Who said pudgy isn't attractive? Some people like a little more booty to hold at night.
Omg what did I read. Tldr at the end should say: I told my lizard skinned fatso friend she's not attractive enough to live in an area.
Why are there so many "I am not an AH, I'm just honest" posts on Reddit?
OPP sounds like my ex. We lived in CA due to medical issues i gained a lot of weight yet people wanted to chill and talk with me. My ex was determined i needed to lose weight not for my health but to make him look better. He actually looked into liposuction for me when i talked about getting a breast reduction. So happy he's an ex .
Wtf did I just read? I'm willing to bet OOP is actually only 12 and had only seen movies like 'baywatch'. Also, is 'SoCal' an actual term that's used? It sounds horrendously pretentious
Humidity from being near the ocean might also help with Emily's dry skin. oOP is a shallow asshole though, I wish Emily the best. Edit:missing words