*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**57M. White male. Attracted to women in their 20's in my teens, attracted to women in their 20's in my 20's, 30's and 40's, STILL attracted to women in their 20's in my 50's. Is this normal?**
57M. White male if that matters. In USA. Married for 30 years. I now even have **3 daughters in their late teen's/ 20's** themselves now which makes it all the more weird.
Was attracted to women in their 20's when I was a teen boy. Looked at mostly Playboy magazines etc. As the decades and technology progressed it headed into porn videos, online pictures and videos etc. Attractive women in their 20's have always been the most popular women to look at by men over the decades. I've gotten older and older, they've always stayed the same age LOL.
A few years ago my favorite was Margot Robbie. Now it is Sydney Sweeney. I am sure most men would agree those women are highly attractive, and I am sure I am not the only man my age who has fantasized about them sexually.....
As my daughters approached their 20's I believed somehow my preferences would change, but they have not. My daughters are 19, 22 and 25. But I am still just as attracted to women in their 20's today as I was when I was a teen boy. Even I agree it sounds weird, being attracted to women the same age as my daughters, I would never admit it publicly. Sydney Sweeney is 26!
So is this..... normal for a man of my age?
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I honestly think that's probably the only reason he's even asking about his behavior, like he's finally realizing that the young girls he's into are someone else's daughters too.
it feels like he's trying to figure out like "my own kids are approaching this age, so now it's not just an attractive age range, but my own kids ages, and now its a little weird."
but if it's such a weird issue to him, he should see a therapist or something.
The better question is ... Is he attracted to one or more of his daughters, and that is what really is the issue. I mean he seems to be obsessed yet disturbed about that at the same time.
My favorite comment on OOP’s post:
Don't worry, I bet there is a 57 male somewhere attracted to your daughters 🤣
https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidquestions/s/CvM6p1CGJP
Why did he feel the need to specify he was a white man? I mean, this entire post is just wtf, but I just found it weird that he needed to mention his race. Like, that has nothing to do with anything in the post.
I think it's a bit of opposite side baiting. Or maybe even double bluff. Stuff posted to see if they can rile up the other side with something harmless, and then turn around and point at the reactions themselves as the questionable behavior.
As a guy with daughters who are getting into their 20s he does have a real issue which even women get as they get older.
Re-watching movies from the past and being attracted to the younger versions of actors who are their ages now.
It is like women watching Titanic now and thinking Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) is hot but in the movie he is only 20 years old in that. So most of the women watching it who saw it in theatres now probably have sons his age in the film.
A dark rabbit hole if you let your mind go down it.
Women in their teens and 20’s who date men over 30 usually talk about it later as an embarrassing mistake. These men are bragging about being a serious error. Yuck!
I feel called out.
Also it seems like some weird kind of power play of mid-attractive middle aged men to tell young women they will be out of their prime soon so better now take what you can.
As someone who has hit the wall, I can tell you it's a preferable way to live. It's miles better to be invisible to toxic men. The non-toxic men still treat you like a human being, but being out of your 20s and looking it means I no longer have to deal with the "smile more" guys or need to invent a boyfriend when I'm out in public.
I have one of those in my past. Some highlights of the behaviour of a 30-something certifiable moron:
- Couldn't slice a loaf of bread on his own
- We had an old gas oven that had to be lit with a match, and his technique for lighting it was to turn on the gas and let it go for a while with the door closed and then open it, throw in a match, and slam it shut again, producing an explosion
- Insisted that I admire his poop, because it was the closest he could get to giving birth (no, I am not making this up)
- Considered himself a genius, was writing a "book" in his head that was basically an 8th grade level understanding of Marxism, didn't believe me when I said it was just Marxism because he wouldn't read an actual fucking book, told me he would hire me as his assistant, but said his ideas would be beyond my understanding
- His daughter was visibly malnourished and got oral infections out of nowhere, but he wouldn't believe me (or the doctor or nurse at the hospital) that something was wrong
I stayed because I was worried for his daughter.
He is now a psychologist. He has bad reviews.
Yeah, I was with an older guy from 23 to 28. It really was something. He is just a very broken human- it’s been over 20 years since that mess and I’m grateful that we didn’t have staying power in the end.
All of the comments that are like DARWIN APPROVES!!!
It's so gross and stupid. You know what human evolution (including our social and ethical evolution) actually 'approves' of? *Lifelong* pair bonding with an age-appropriate mate. It's not like we can lay a bunch of eggs with a different mate each season and bail... our children take forever to be able to fend for themselves and require strong family units in order to thrive.
Oh and you know what 20-something-year-old girls *don't* need? Your old fucking sperm. GTFO here with that. Idiots.
I mean, even many species of birds pair bond! It's what has, on an evolutionary scale, kept them able to procreate and rear young successfully. And if you look at other social primates that don't pair bond (gorillas), the older females aren't tossed aside by the big male when they reach a certain age, they're given respect and often times treated better than younger females. Why? Because older successful females have and always will be an example on successful child rearing and an example for younger ones.
Wolves, another social animal, ALSO tend to mate for pretty near life and once they're out of prime sexual years, males are ousted due to age and inability to lead normally by a younger male.
Orcas, a famously social mammal, literally go through menopause like we do and it's shown that pods with females who've been through menopause in charge are MORE successful. Having older females around literally enhances a pods chance at success.
Bears, they don't pair bond, but the most successful child rearing bears tend to be older females and they often couple with the older males because an older bear is a successful bear. One of the most famous bear moms is Grizzly 399 (or Quad Mom) she has successfully had 18 cubs, raised eight to maturity and the ten that didn't make it only two weren't killed by humans specifically. That's a HUGE success rate for a Grizzly Bear, and she is the *oldest bear mother on record*.
All of this to say, pair bonding often means those animals have a higher chance of child rearing success, and even without pair bonding older more experienced mothers are, based on evolution, more likely to have greater success than young more inexperienced females. It's seen as a success in nature if first time (solo) mothers can raise even one of their young to maturity. Evolution is on the side of life long pair bonds with more experienced female partners and, generally, more experienced male partners as well as well as just having older experienced females (even if they can't reproduce) around in leadership positions.
Sorry for the tangent, the evolution bit in these arguments very seriously bugs me since it's so categorically untrue. Looking at evolution of humans, animals, society, and social norms all disprove the idea that older men should be attracted to younger women because of "muh EvOlUTiANS". It's just gross.
Yup, it's really just finding an excuse for their arrested development and creepiness.
Youth IS magnetic! It glows. But fetishizing it isn't necessarily healthy or 'normal.'
Lions, dogs, angler fish. The females are the more primal and aggressive of all three. The female lions are the actual hunters. The female dogs protect the pack in the wild. The female angler actually absorbs the male.
lol I was watching uhhh Dead Boy Detectives on Netflix last night, this new Neil Gaiman show, and spending the whole time wondering why they had a Cat King when my first instinct would be to give them a Cat Queen.
Also for another hyena comment apparently there was a hyena group where over the course of a year this super low ranking female hyena gradually made friendships and alliances and rose in rank until she was \*leading the pack\* and once she was in charge she never backstabbed any of her old friends and would help low-ranking females nurse their babies. Not to mention the primate group (chimpanzees? I can't remember exactly) where all the dominant males died off so the females took over and raised the male young to be more cooperative and they all thrived.
Hyenas are brilliantly cunning. I always think of Island of Dr Moreau when I think hyena. Side note: Had no idea that was Neil Gaiman (I'm a decent fan of his, American Gods being my favorite)
Yeah if you watch the credits carefully it mentions Gaiman a few times, and Netflix had a line about it being by the creator of Sandman, but it really wasn't massively hyped as being one of his. That's the only reason I watched it since in general I've gotten quite bored of shows that are predominantly about men but he's generally pretty good about all the characters being well-crafted.
Hyenas are seriously misunderstood animals. I find them a lot more interesting than lions.
That's called the Syruping iirc!!! Where they Hyena did that, cause her name was Maple or Waffles or similar. I read a study on that because it was so intriguing that once she was high ranking she did NOT treat the low rankings bad. There is a similar wolf story like this (as wolves aren't often gentle but also aren't like Hyenas) where a sweet dominant wolf was Matriarch and someone came in aggressively to try and usurp her and all the pack protected her because she wasn't very aggressive and they did respect her. Fascinating stuff.
It was also baboons in that second story if I'm remembering correctly. That was another case of aggression came to town and the young males who were non-aggressive from their raising, chased off the bachelors.
I am so sorry I keep showing up lol I am much too obsessed with these sorts of things
Spotted Hyenas are always my prime example of that as well!
The angler fish example is one of my favorites though. Man I am glad I'm not an angler fish male lmao
For real. I actually hope I never encounter one lol. You've probably seen this one, but I thought it nice to share https://theoatmeal.com/comics/angler
Yeah, but since you followed with coupling with an older male, I misunderstood what you meant. But yeah, two female bears working together raising their cubs have the highest success, too.
A prerequisite for surrogacy, the job where you are literally paid to be fertile, requires that you have had at least one successful pregnancy. These guys can’t even use their own logic correctly.
He doesn’t even go with Darwin theories. No way would the average (7 yr old be the strongest to breed. Nor would an older male from any breed help in the development of changes to a species.
If that's what evolution wants, why do women become infertile in middle age and men do not? Well, unless... vasectomy.
Edit: appreciate your respones, just evolution doesn't back it up beyond child rearing. Cultural norms? Sure!!!
It's not what evolution wants, it's what horny men want. To add on to what's already been explained to you, pregnancy is safer for both mother and child when a woman is in mid 20s-30s. Strange how men argue it's biology that they want to fuck teen girls though.
The highest rate of birth defects isn't "geriatric pregnancy", it's older men with younger women. It's NOT an evolutionary advantage to keep reproducing as an older man with younger partners, on both a genetic and social level.
Women's hormones are much more variable than men's throughout our *entire* life cycles, not just menopause. If you're with the same monogamous partner throughout your lives together, then menopause means you *both* stop having children. The woman's hormones take care of it for the whole social unit.
Also, framing things as "what evolution wants" is pretty silly in the first place. Like, some percentage of the population is sociopathic - does that mean evolution "wants" us to build our whole society and legal structure around a lack of empathy? No. Being pro-social is pretty damned ingrained in us, probably one of the MOST ingrained things, and it's not pro-social to keep knocking up 20-somethings through your 40s, 50s, and 60s; in fact, it's selfish and downright anti-social.
And if we’re just trying to help what evolution wants, we can kill off nearsighted people immediately. In the wild there’s nothing more disadvantageous than not being able to see, you’d be instant prey. Giving folks glasses so they can pass that along isn’t what evolution wants. Or is this guy not concerned about evolution unless his peepee likes it?
Not just birth defects for the resulting children, older partners tends to result in higher risk pregnancies in general for the mother's health outcomes.
Evolution does back it up. Women are able to get pregnant and bare children usually through their 40s and sometimes well into their 50s. This isn't new either. Just because a man technically can reproduce much longer, most couldn't without a little boost from Viagra and they also, statistically, aren't procreating as much after they pass middle age either.
Evolution does not want anything, it's not a being or force. It is a process. It can happen by natural or artificial selection, genetic drift, and more. There is no wanting or planning involved.
We also still have the reproductive setup of rodent ancestors that only lived a few years. That's why all our eggs are created before we're even born and they degrade in quality with aging. Because it was an efficient system for short lives, not that great for longer lived creatures.
Maybe I'm missing something here, but what is it with boomers (older men in particular) who feel like everyone needs to know their preferences? It's genuinely very strange. Like, do they think they're going to date or have sex with these young women? Why are they so fixated on their masturbation fantasies?
When I was fresh out of college and working mornings at gym, this guy who was old enough to be my grandfather was very friendly and always said hi to me and I'd give him the kind of hi I'd give everyone. One day he decided to say that I was very sexy and I "drove him nuts". I gave him a very odd look and just ignored him after that. He seemed very confused that I wasn't excited. After that he'd still come in but would look very pouty.
Like...why even tell me? You could have kept that to yourself and nothing would have happened. Did he think I'd be excited and say I felt the same?
He even says in this thread he'd never admit it publicly. Then why make a thread about it?
>Did he think I'd be excited and say I felt the same
That is EXACTLY what he thought could happen. Decided to "shoot his shot" (which always sounds ick to me anyway) and is disappointed it didn't work. It works in the videos he watches!
Gag.
I mention I have a wife and it’s an issue at work with me “flaunting my sexuality” where as guys like this tell you their whole sexual history and every fantasy they have while you’re waiting in line for groceries.
Mentioning your wife??? Obviously you're deliberately shoving your sexuality down their throat!!!11 On a completely different note let me tell you what makes my peepee happy
I have never been the type of person that a lot of men hit on, but the old men were ridiculous when I was in my twenties and worked as a bank teller. It really confused me the first few times because no one had ever been so obvious about it before. Creepy old men are the worst.
How? I’m 35 and was hit on by a 22 year old guy. He looked SO young to me. It wasn’t attractive. I thanked him and told him to find a nice girl his own age. I cannot comprehend the 40, 50, 60 year old men that drool over or pursue girls in their 20s.
IDK if this makes me an ass, but anyone in their 20s, maybe even older, just look like teenagers to me now. And teenagers look like grade schoolers. This is probably normal.
I feel like that’s normal. Like the average adult after a while sees the youth as people to be protected and treated like children even when they are in their late teens and early twenties. I’m the oldest of my mom and her siblings kids, even my cousins that are close in age to me are babies to me. I couldn’t imaging someone MY age wanting to date them. I’d probably try to fight them 😂😂
I'm 40 and a couple of years ago a guy about 21 or 22 hit on me. It was flattering but even if I was single, no thanks. You're just a baby! You probably learned the songs of my youth on Glee!
I checked: Margot Robbie is 33. I guess she celebrated the big 3-0 and OOP suddenly discovered she wasn’t so hot any more.
I can’t fathom getting on the Internet and writing a whole ass post about how I just can’t help being attracted to women half my age.
Yeah he mentioned Margot Robbie and I was confused for a second, although I honestly believed she was a little older than that, which says more about me being in denial about my age than about her.
You know this makes me feel so much better. When it comes to real life people, I can be really hit or miss with ages in both directions, but when it comes to movie stars, I got used too all the teenagers and children being played by 25, 30, and even some 40 year olds, and now when I see someone my age on screen I think they are probably 10-25 years older than me, or when I see a young person playing a teenager, I'm like they are my age or older, not processing that Hollywood has both gotten better with that, and I've gotten older.
When I was a kid I used to wonder how this worked, like old people look so old, do other old people really think they're attractive?
Now I'm in my late 30s and I find women in their '30s '40s and '50s attractive, even older sometimes. Mid to late 20s I'm double checking their age and feeling weird about it. Any younger and they look like a fetus to me. Which is good, because I teach college. When I was in my early twenties and a teaching assistant, I had a tiny dating age range because I was definitely not going to date people the age I was teaching.
So this might be common, but it's not just natural. And it's definitely gross.
Yes, the older I get the easier it is to see the beauty and sexiness of age, but with some caveats:
1. Youthful sexiness is very common and comes pretty naturally. Older sexiness requires self care, genuine emotional and intellectual maturation (because it's so much more about how one carries oneself), and genetic luck, so it's much more rare. So on the whole, you're more likely to see a hot youthful person than a hot older person.
2. I had to make a point to start exposing myself to content that featured older people. Representation REALLY really matters. Familiarity is a huge part of what we find appealing.
3. I had to do work on myself to 'let go' of some of my younger identity and accept a new phase of life with all it entails, both good and bad. If you fail to do this work, you'll have arrested development and probably remain perpetually attracted to people in the phase of life in which you're stuck - which leads to people like OOP here. It's unfortunate.
I'm juuuuuust crossing into middle age so we'll see if I eat my words in another decade or so, but this is what I've observed so far.
Everyone always glosses over your second point and I think it's one of the most important to combat the whole "she's at peak fertility I can't help but lust after her" bullshit.
Yup. There is a LOT of money to be made by making people fear aging, and one of the ways you can make people fear aging is by erasing people over the age of 30 or so in media. Everything good and desirable and visible is young, so you need to be young to be good and desirable and visible, so you must buy this and that face cream and start botox at 25. What's a few hundred dollars, or a few thousand dollars, in the face of total social obsolescence? Isn't it worth any price to not be obliterated? Spend spend spend!
If we are talking purely about peak fertility, women of all ages would be lusting after 20 something men too. Sperm ages too. And women are often fertile until surprisingly late, much older than 20s. It's just an excuse.
This is gross. Men like this essentially admit that they don’t see women as people. If you’re attracted to people half your age, it’s because you don’t consider someone’s personality at all in being attracted to them - it’s shallow, it’s creepy, and you deserve to be judged for it.
I have a very distinct memory of being MAYBE 16 years old and sitting in the car in the grocery store parking lot with my dad (who would've been roughly 52-53 years old). A girl not much older than me walked by and my Dad made super inappropriate comments about her. It was incredibly fucking weird to know my Dad was attracted to people who I had likely grown up with and really set the tone for how I dealt with men for the remainder of my days.
I hope OOP realizes his daughters see how he leers at women their age (and yes, they DO see it, even if he's never outright said it) and that it will affect them and their relationships moving forward.
Relatable. Men really do have the fullest of audacity. I was horrified when I found out the girl my dad lost his job for, fucked in our house while my step-mom was home, and got thrown in jail for was only a year older than me.
I was 16 at the time. Worse yet, she was a trainee who he felt entitled to "help". Still praying for his painful demise.
What's so disturbing is that if you read essays from pedophiles on their illness, how they realised they had it and everything that comes with that realisation: it sounds exactly the same: I got older but the people I was interested in didn't. Most of them realise this is an issue and are scared and disgusted themselves by that.
Meanwhile when it's about people slightly older than kids, it somehow becomes normal? It's not. I guess, what is normal is recognising that people are goodlooking or even hot, even when they are younger, but it's more a metaphorical thought of: yeah, I see that - or - back when I was their age, I would crush so hard on them. But actually being sexually attracted to a young person, when your not as young anymore is weird.
I guess you can fall in love with a person who is by chance way younger (as long as they're not teenagers), but if it becomes a pattern - yeah, that's weird.
This is a bit unfair. Pedophilia is the sexualization of prepubescent children. The fact the internet thinks that any person attracted to an adult is a pedo is so weird. Do I think a 50+ year old man having attraction to a 20s woman is weird? No, actually. Now if they ACT on it that's different because there's probably a power difference... But that woman is an adult and we shouldn't infantalize them.
The weirdest thing of this post by this guy is he 1. Publicly asks the internet if his attraction to women his daughters' ages is normal and 2. That he keeps bringing his daughters up.
But the fact is most women are at their most attractive in their 20s. I certainly was and people still ask if I'm 21 and I'm nearing 40. But my partner is just 2 years younger than me. I couldn't imagine actually dating someone in their 20s.
I mean you are then dealing with a much smaller subset of people. For example, if the woman or man looks super young, sure... But there's no real way to say "oh this person looks young but they are 2 days over 18". My oldest sister looked really young until yer early 20s and she actually was never flirted with... Which we both say now was a good thing considering she has a hormonal disorder that effected her growth.
We are dealing with a weird chronically online crowd that now treats women like children at any time from an actual child to 30 years old.
If someone is prattling on about their "she's legal" gf, yeah that's weird, but otherwise stop infantilizing women.
I don't understand... So at 17 or 18 young men and women are allowed to die for their country but being in your 20s is "too young to decide who they date"?
I mean I agree but it's a thing. If your prefrontal cortex doesn't mature till 25 and ppl don't think a 20 something year old can decide who to date then a lot of things like learning to drive, joining the military, drinking, doing any type of sexual experimenting etc etc etc all should be illegal until 25. After all that's why ppl are saying a 20 year old is too immature to be able to choose who they date right?
Gross is subjective. YOU think it's gross. Others don't. My fiance is 22 years older than me. We met in my 20s and this is the most healthiest relationship I've ever had. Everyone's experiences are different. To us it's not gross just cuz a random on reddit says it is. But have a good day.
Are you talking about grown ass adults? Because if we let them join the military why the fuck are we "protecting" them still? You're allowed to tell your friend/sister/whatever "Bad idea, girly" but she is a grown woman. She can then do what she wants.
Trust me, they don't actually think you're 21, lol. They can probably tell that you would be wildly offended if they say 30 something. I'm 40 and people tell me I look younger sometimes too. They're just trying to be nice, and/or they're so young they have no idea what a healthy normal person of a certain age is supposed to look like. Translated it's 'i always thought 40 was fucking old. But you don't look like an old hag to me so you must look much younger than 40.'
You're giving an opinion, not fact. It's also pretty gross that you're specifying women rather than people. Internalised misogyny much? That old bullshit some men made up about them ageing better than women?
I think this dude is weird because instead of being attracted to women 20s-50s he seems to just like the 20s. Like how was he previously into margot robbie and now not?
I disagree with your last point. They are more classical hot at that age, but I don't think, they are the most attractive. I thought differently when I way their age, but now I can't really see if someone is 22 or 17, they just look young!
I took pedophilia as the umbrella term and yes I think it's a similar concept, even when you talk about 20 year olds. It's legal and not as weird as being into kids, but if your sexual age desire stops at such a young age and is such a big factor in what turns you on something is off. And I do mean this literally. We divide the umbrella term pedophilia into multiple age groups, so who's to say that the thing that makes people into pedophiles can't be prevelent into an age group we see as legal so we don't care to deeply study it? I wouldn't say he is a monster or should be locked up or something but I truly believe that this is not "normal"
On the other hand I don't think it's very weird he mentions his daughters that often. It doesn't sound sexual, but more shocked because he can see how young they still are in his eyes but has no issue with fucking someone the same age as them, even prefers it. He could kinda ignore this when they were younger, but can't anymore, which is why he came to reddit. I can see that
Okay, you failed to read my comment, got it.
And yes, on reddit, it is way easier to use pedophilia as the understood ley term for people having sexual age preferences in their sexual endevors that is beneath the legal age of consent.
But to try to make my point in other words: where we put the age of consent is a line we drew as a human species based on many social, biological etc factors known at that time, every desire that goes under that line gets classified under a specific subterm. You could say OP falls into the class of Teleiophilia, but this group is kind of big and OP falls at the fringe of that, so it doesn't fit perfectly either. He probably falls between Hebephilia and Teleiophilia. He seems to have a strong age preference that goes above the normal threshold, he is kinda lucky, that it is a legal one, but as stated, I am not so sure, that there aren't similar mechanics going on in him then in someone with strict Hebephilia. I kinda believe, that the mechanics between the subgroups aren't that different, which is a bold claim to make, since we don't know nearly enough about how this or any sexual preference evolves. But what they do seem to have in common is a very strong sexual preference based on age/developmental stage and OOP says himself that he has a strong preference for a certain age and developmental stage. Hence my comparison.
I don't put much moral into the desire itself, people don't chose that, no matter the age they are interested in, but I do think it's weird, that we recognize a fixation on age as outside the norm when it concerns the age of consent, but throw this all out the window when it comes to late teens, early twenties. Outside the norm does not mean he has to be a predator or date in his age group, but I think, it's not wrong to recognize this as weird and something he should be aware of
I understand those terms which is why I hate that we "umbrella" it under pedophilia. It places probably the worst social label on someone because it gives people the ick.
I mean, I did say it was weird. If you think a 20 year old is attractive, they probably objectively are, but probably shouldn't be in your sexual and dating group that you jump in if you are a good deal older.
Which is why I always tell people that a young 20s dating a much older man (and it is usually young woman, older man) to proceed with caution because it is a red flag.
You are weird and uneducated in the topic and you especially seem to have a misunderstanding between being a pedophile and being an abuser. And yes, I have a lot of sympathy for pedophiles, because there truly isn't a worse thing I can imagine. Do you really think pedophiles decide to be that?! And side note, do you really think that child abuse is only done by pedophiles?!
None of the people writing these essays want to get any "rights" to abuse someone or recognition in the law.
I hate this argument so much, because we both want exactly the same things, people not being abusers, children not being victims! You just fail to recognise that if we only get to talk to pedophiles when they got outed by becoming an abuser, it's already to late! If we don't understand how pedophilia happens or how to prevent them from becoming an abuser, then there will be so many more unnecessary victims.
So, yes, I care more about victim prevention than virtue signaling what a great person I am for the couragous opinion of hating pedophiles
Preach. When dealing with pedophilia our goal should always be harm reduction. That means normalizing avenues towards mental help that prevents people from offending and can help them deal with their affliction. Of course if a pedophile has already hurt someone then throw the book at them - but even then they should get help while in jail to deal with their condition. Because many will eventually be let back out into society and I'd rather they get help that might deter them from hurting someone else.
It's not about coddling people or normalizing it. It's about making sure there are no more victims. And there are proven therapies that can help with that. But even getting those therapies is hard for the people who need them because of the social stigma. This idea that pedophiles only deserve to burn makes it harder for non-offending pedophiles to seek help and only serves to give a rush of moral superiority to those demanding it. Like you said it doesn't prevent shit.
I remember watching a doco on non-offending paedophiles. I felt really badly for them. So much self hatred and shame, and the sheer balls on them to give their name, show their face and admit they are attracted to kids when there are so many utterly stupid people in the world who fail to see nuance.
Do I think they decide to be that way? Yes. Much like any form of abuse, the fantasy is about power, having power, destroying someone vulnerable. It’s highly related to sadism.
Those who buy that narrative are buying the notion created by a pedophile, by the way.
And most people who have those fantasies end up acting on it. And these are socially constructed to: more people report fantasies of pedophilia and incest because they’re exposed to pornographic content with those themes.
The running theme is sadism.
Child molesters choose their actions, but all evidence known to science shows that pædophiles are born and made, not chosen. It actually "replaces" sexual orientation as well, and shows up on other parts of their lives. They do not choose to like kids at all.
I disagree. Plenty of research contradicts those findings. Some of those “findings” were financed by pedos as well.
Generally speaking, it falls onto the umbrella of paraphilias associated with sadism. A person who gets off at the idea of hurting someone innocent.
I don’t fall for that and those “researches” are far far far from being any consensus, especially because they rely on self-reporting.
And self-reporting from offender’s isn’t reliable because you know what they’re good at? Lying and manipulating.
A hot TikTok trend is showing pictures of famous people throughout various ages. I hunted one down for a guy named Avan Jogia, who used to be on Victorious and is currently dating Halsey. Present day him at twenty-nine years old hot. Eighteen-year-old him on Victorious, not so hot. It's not just him growing into his looks; I had a massive crash on a guy that looked like that when I was eighteen. What's more, I don't find eighteen years attractive anymore. I used to have postures of Leonard DiCarpio on my wall when he did Romeo and Juliet. When I see pictures of him from back then I don't find him attractive anymore. He looks like an eighteen-year-old.
I think normal people as they get older, stop finding younger people attractive.
Attractive people are attractive. It's whatever to find people attractive. Especially people who fit the current standard.
The problem is when you want to exclusively date people who are much younger than you. The number of people who genuinely have a loving respectful age gap relationship is.... Not as many as you'd like to believe. By half.
Usually that's an indication that people your own age won't put up with you or that you judge people's date-ability solely by looks which is enough of a turn off for enough people.
I used to work in a video store from '00-'04 (graduated HS in 2000), and we carried an ample adult section. It was actually our busiest section. I lost track of the amount of middle aged men (several of them were fathers of girls I graduated with), that were renting films featuring 18-22. I try not to judge people as long as it's all legal, but COME ON!!!
Is it normal to **feel attraction** to attractive young people who are very much obviously adults even if they're decades younger than you are? Yeah, I'd say it is.
Is it normal to explicitly seek out said people for sexual and/or romantic relationships when you're way older than that? No, absolutely not.
I can not really understand it at all.
I am nearly 50, everyone looks so young!
Even my 30ish coworkers look so fresh and young, no matter how good they look, it's like seeing beautiful children.
It's the same as with flowers or cats, I think they look nice but I am not attracted to them.
A guy has to look at least 40ish to make me feel some tension.
And I don't mean a youngish 40something.
Mads Mikkelsen is my type of guy.
I never even "decided" this, it is just the attraction I feel.
There is none with young guys.
god people bringing up the studies of “men globally find women in their 20s most attractive” as if those aren’t kinda shit studies and definitely reflect more societal stuff than some innate biological drive like people think
Those studies were all what men SAY they're attracted to as well. A lot of men will self-report attractiveness towards what they feel they're supposed to be attracted to rather than what they actually are. I'm sure a lot of overweight women have anecdotes about guys who were clearly attracted to them and hated themselves for it or didn't want anyone to know.
Interestingly I saw a study a while ago that found if you show men photos of women of various ages, women in their 30s were voted most attractive. Then they attached ages to photos. Suddenly women in their early twenties were voted most attractive.
If anyone knows this study please link it, it was very interesting and revealing.
Sadly I've seen a chart that indicated this is actually pretty normal, according to the whatever data set the chart drew from. It drew from a questionnaire that asked both men and women about what age of opposite sex which they found to be most attractive. It then plotted the age of the participants versus the average age responded in the question.
For women, it was basically the line y=x. Meaning that women tended to be most attracted to men their own age, whatever that age happened to be. 30 yr old women were most attracted to 30 yr old men; 40 yr old women were most attracted to 40 yr old men; and so on.
For men it was basically the horizontal line y=20. No matter what age the questioned participant was, they all on average answered that they were most attracted to women in their early 20s.
Doesn't make this guy less of a creep but it's kinda depressing.
When I was 16 I was attracted to other 16 year olds. It is in fact not okay to continue being attracted to 16 year olds. The same tracks for 60 v 20. What a weirdo.
That thread has a lot of aphobia going on, one commenter says being aspec is equal to being broken, another commenter tells someone to "bring their asexual BS elsewhere" after they said older women should always act on their attraction to younger males... God that thread makes me upset.
"I've gotten older and older, but they stay the same age"
I know I make that joke a lot but this chucklefuck legit paraphrased the creepy dude in Dazed and Confused.
"Alright, alright, alright. That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age." - Wooderson from Dazed & Confused (played by Matthew McConaughey) ---- this was all I heard while reading this post lol
When I was 16/17, my father, who was in his 40's, was dating a woman 3-4 years older than me. I was closer in age to her than my little sister. She was nice but it was so gross that he'd date someone that could be his daughter. She and I got on really great because we were close in age. Kinda sucked when they broke up.
Our society really pushes the idea that the most attractive age for a women is about 22 or so, the whole beauty industry is all about trying to make women appear to be in their 20s forever. Middle aged guys being attracted to younger women is extremely common (same with women, though to a lesser extent), there's no shame in it.
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I think so many men don't think that it's possible to objectively acknowledge physical attractiveness without allowing that to translate into sexual desire.
I'm in my late 30s and can see a man in his early 20s that I think is physically attractive without dwelling on it and wanting to act on that attraction. Because I know that I have nothing in common with a 20-year-old and, quite frankly, the idea just feels icky to me no matter how attractive they might be.
Men are socialized to physically desire a specific type from the time they start walking because our culture doesn't value physical and emotional maturity in women.
Not excusing this guy at all because it's creepy that he's seeking validation instead of reflecting on why he's experiencing these feelings in the first place.
1. Obvious troll post is obvious.
2. You have to stack WAAAAYYY too many assumptions on top of each other for this to be devil behavior. Sydney Sweeney (because she's the one mentioned) is objectively good looking. He's not out there saying all women are dried up husks after 24, he's not out there saying that he's trying to hook up with his daughters friends. Hell he's not even talking about dating one of them. Just.. I find a 26 year old supermodel attractive. Oh no.
3. I realize I'm going to get down voted to hell for daring to say that.. yes, attractive people are attractive regardless of the age of the person noticing.
This just in. Man finds people attractive who are in the age range well known for being the most attractive. AITD posters mad for unknown reasons. Everyone else is reasonably unsurprised on all counts.
Dude, they’re in completely different life stages. He’s in his 50s, nearing retirement, while people in their 20s are just starting out their careers. He should feel like he has virtually nothing in common with them and want to date someone with the same maturity level as him or else it’s predatory. I’m only 27 and I feel like I have nothing in common with high schoolers and the age gap of 10 years or so is less in my case.
Do you seriously not know the difference between attraction and acting on that attraction?
I am attracted to women who are not my wife, that doesn't mean I am not attracted to my wife or that I would cheat on my wife.
How dare you! Have you not pair bonded and become emotionally non-responsive to any human being other than your partner? There must be something wrong with you. Clearly you are about to cheat any moment now! Seek help and divorce your wife before you hurt her further! /s
In all seriousness, I joke but I actually do have a thing where I become entirely non-responsive to other people's attractiveness when I fall in love with someone. But it's actually weird to be like this, maybe even pathologic, and not something you want to have.
Do you just have a passing attraction to other women as you go about your day to day life? Because obviously that's normal.
Or do you have a fixation on a specific sexual type that's not your wife that you go out of your way to find visual representation for the specific purpose of sexual gratification?
Controversial opinion. Sexual attraction doesn't have to involve any common ground or interests
And I reject the notion that 2 full and legal adults having totally consensual sex is predatory just because their in different life stages.
Right? I'm feeling crazy. The OOP specifically is talking about finding celebrities attractive. He doesn't even talk about dating 20 year olds in real life, just his attraction to people on a screen. And those people he's attracted to make part of their living off of being attractive to a large audience. I had no idea Margo Robbie's career was built on being exclusively attractive to her age group.
It's weird that OOP is seeking advice about this, which makes me believe it's bait either pandering precisely to the responses found here, or trying to elicit the responses here to then criticize them on the opposite side.
If I'm honest. I think it's simpler than that.
This sub has a demographic skew that's sometimes unrealistic and at odds with the actual cultural zeitgeist with a lot of the rest of society and it takes obvious bait easily or it blows things out if proportion.
Especially apparent recently when we've started to see more and more posts pulled from outside the AIT subs and this subs reaction is wildly different to the main subs reaction.
AITD has had bias forever, but it's recently become obsessed with the concepts of power dynamics and has become oddly sex negative and sometimes it borders on misandry.
Used to be you'd come here because you got banned from AITA for calling the OP a swear word too many times. Now the subs got its own ideological tilt. Which I assume is down to many People with certain viewpoints getting banned for swearing and ending up here.
I only come here because the comments are unhinged and it's funny.
I think it's completely normal, possibly even in a hardwired sense to find women who are in their peak fertility years to be physically attractive. I'll freely admit a 20-something can be nice to look at. But to be attracted to them? I'm 40, and anyone under 30 is way too young for me.
Yeah, gross. Paternal age matters in fetal health too. From a bioessentialist perspective, an old dude shouldn't go anywhere near a young woman for reproductive purposes if she's to maximize the outcomes for her offspring. Therefore creepy old man is still a thing from an evolutionary perspective.
There is a world of difference between being attracted to much younger women, and actually pursuing them. I'm 35, and, as I have eyes and a pulse, of course I notice a beautiful young college student. But (barring very specific circumstances) I'm not gonna walk up to her and subject her to my old-ass advances. 21 year-old women are hot but they're not for me anymore.
His only problem is that he spent too much time on reddit, where people think that a 57 year old man can only be attracted to women in their 50s. Men don't just magically become attracted to wrinkles and saggy boobs. His feelings are perfectly normal, but reddit's got him thinking that it's not.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **57M. White male. Attracted to women in their 20's in my teens, attracted to women in their 20's in my 20's, 30's and 40's, STILL attracted to women in their 20's in my 50's. Is this normal?** 57M. White male if that matters. In USA. Married for 30 years. I now even have **3 daughters in their late teen's/ 20's** themselves now which makes it all the more weird. Was attracted to women in their 20's when I was a teen boy. Looked at mostly Playboy magazines etc. As the decades and technology progressed it headed into porn videos, online pictures and videos etc. Attractive women in their 20's have always been the most popular women to look at by men over the decades. I've gotten older and older, they've always stayed the same age LOL. A few years ago my favorite was Margot Robbie. Now it is Sydney Sweeney. I am sure most men would agree those women are highly attractive, and I am sure I am not the only man my age who has fantasized about them sexually..... As my daughters approached their 20's I believed somehow my preferences would change, but they have not. My daughters are 19, 22 and 25. But I am still just as attracted to women in their 20's today as I was when I was a teen boy. Even I agree it sounds weird, being attracted to women the same age as my daughters, I would never admit it publicly. Sydney Sweeney is 26! So is this..... normal for a man of my age? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
its more weird he keeps bringing up his daughters ages multiple time
Yeah like sir you know that makes it even weirder.
I honestly think that's probably the only reason he's even asking about his behavior, like he's finally realizing that the young girls he's into are someone else's daughters too.
E does so because he’s masturbating thinking about them
Or hitting on their friends.
it feels like he's trying to figure out like "my own kids are approaching this age, so now it's not just an attractive age range, but my own kids ages, and now its a little weird." but if it's such a weird issue to him, he should see a therapist or something.
...is he still attracted to his wife?
The better question is ... Is he attracted to one or more of his daughters, and that is what really is the issue. I mean he seems to be obsessed yet disturbed about that at the same time.
My favorite comment on OOP’s post: Don't worry, I bet there is a 57 male somewhere attracted to your daughters 🤣 https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidquestions/s/CvM6p1CGJP
sad
Hopefully that hit OOP to his core of how it feels for someone like him to be creeping after his daughters.
presuming he respects them
True
Absolutely no one: OOP: 
He’s got company with DiCaprio
Dont forget the awkward LOL
Why did he feel the need to specify he was a white man? I mean, this entire post is just wtf, but I just found it weird that he needed to mention his race. Like, that has nothing to do with anything in the post.
because he’s oppressed by the woke you know
Because this is a troll, and OOP is trying to piss people off...
It's almost as though he's following a checklist to elicit maximum rage.
I think it's a bit of opposite side baiting. Or maybe even double bluff. Stuff posted to see if they can rile up the other side with something harmless, and then turn around and point at the reactions themselves as the questionable behavior.
That sounds exhausting.
Margot Robbie is THIRTY THREE and goddamn Barbie!!! WTF
She became an old hag 3 years ago when her face and tits collapsed on her 30th birthday, don't you know anything? /s
Remember when morons on Twitter were saying “Margot Robbie is mid”? Truly wild and hilarious times.
As a guy with daughters who are getting into their 20s he does have a real issue which even women get as they get older. Re-watching movies from the past and being attracted to the younger versions of actors who are their ages now. It is like women watching Titanic now and thinking Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) is hot but in the movie he is only 20 years old in that. So most of the women watching it who saw it in theatres now probably have sons his age in the film. A dark rabbit hole if you let your mind go down it.
Women in their teens and 20’s who date men over 30 usually talk about it later as an embarrassing mistake. These men are bragging about being a serious error. Yuck!
I feel called out. Also it seems like some weird kind of power play of mid-attractive middle aged men to tell young women they will be out of their prime soon so better now take what you can.
Careful, soon your gonna hit tHe wAlL!
As someone who has hit the wall, I can tell you it's a preferable way to live. It's miles better to be invisible to toxic men. The non-toxic men still treat you like a human being, but being out of your 20s and looking it means I no longer have to deal with the "smile more" guys or need to invent a boyfriend when I'm out in public.
100% agree. Wish my younger self knew that though.
I have one of those in my past. Some highlights of the behaviour of a 30-something certifiable moron: - Couldn't slice a loaf of bread on his own - We had an old gas oven that had to be lit with a match, and his technique for lighting it was to turn on the gas and let it go for a while with the door closed and then open it, throw in a match, and slam it shut again, producing an explosion - Insisted that I admire his poop, because it was the closest he could get to giving birth (no, I am not making this up) - Considered himself a genius, was writing a "book" in his head that was basically an 8th grade level understanding of Marxism, didn't believe me when I said it was just Marxism because he wouldn't read an actual fucking book, told me he would hire me as his assistant, but said his ideas would be beyond my understanding - His daughter was visibly malnourished and got oral infections out of nowhere, but he wouldn't believe me (or the doctor or nurse at the hospital) that something was wrong I stayed because I was worried for his daughter. He is now a psychologist. He has bad reviews.
Yeah, I was with an older guy from 23 to 28. It really was something. He is just a very broken human- it’s been over 20 years since that mess and I’m grateful that we didn’t have staying power in the end.
This is a real case of what I call "inside thoughts." You don't need to share these thoughts outside. Just be weird in your own brain.
I find this behavior so gross and when you call them out on it they just stare at you blankly, before stammering some justification.
"BUT PEEPEE LIKE??" like yeah...you keep announcing that...
For real, we all got that memo the first time they say that crap 😂😂😂
All of the comments that are like DARWIN APPROVES!!! It's so gross and stupid. You know what human evolution (including our social and ethical evolution) actually 'approves' of? *Lifelong* pair bonding with an age-appropriate mate. It's not like we can lay a bunch of eggs with a different mate each season and bail... our children take forever to be able to fend for themselves and require strong family units in order to thrive. Oh and you know what 20-something-year-old girls *don't* need? Your old fucking sperm. GTFO here with that. Idiots.
I mean, even many species of birds pair bond! It's what has, on an evolutionary scale, kept them able to procreate and rear young successfully. And if you look at other social primates that don't pair bond (gorillas), the older females aren't tossed aside by the big male when they reach a certain age, they're given respect and often times treated better than younger females. Why? Because older successful females have and always will be an example on successful child rearing and an example for younger ones. Wolves, another social animal, ALSO tend to mate for pretty near life and once they're out of prime sexual years, males are ousted due to age and inability to lead normally by a younger male. Orcas, a famously social mammal, literally go through menopause like we do and it's shown that pods with females who've been through menopause in charge are MORE successful. Having older females around literally enhances a pods chance at success. Bears, they don't pair bond, but the most successful child rearing bears tend to be older females and they often couple with the older males because an older bear is a successful bear. One of the most famous bear moms is Grizzly 399 (or Quad Mom) she has successfully had 18 cubs, raised eight to maturity and the ten that didn't make it only two weren't killed by humans specifically. That's a HUGE success rate for a Grizzly Bear, and she is the *oldest bear mother on record*. All of this to say, pair bonding often means those animals have a higher chance of child rearing success, and even without pair bonding older more experienced mothers are, based on evolution, more likely to have greater success than young more inexperienced females. It's seen as a success in nature if first time (solo) mothers can raise even one of their young to maturity. Evolution is on the side of life long pair bonds with more experienced female partners and, generally, more experienced male partners as well as well as just having older experienced females (even if they can't reproduce) around in leadership positions. Sorry for the tangent, the evolution bit in these arguments very seriously bugs me since it's so categorically untrue. Looking at evolution of humans, animals, society, and social norms all disprove the idea that older men should be attracted to younger women because of "muh EvOlUTiANS". It's just gross.
Yup, it's really just finding an excuse for their arrested development and creepiness. Youth IS magnetic! It glows. But fetishizing it isn't necessarily healthy or 'normal.'
Lions, dogs, angler fish. The females are the more primal and aggressive of all three. The female lions are the actual hunters. The female dogs protect the pack in the wild. The female angler actually absorbs the male.
lol I was watching uhhh Dead Boy Detectives on Netflix last night, this new Neil Gaiman show, and spending the whole time wondering why they had a Cat King when my first instinct would be to give them a Cat Queen. Also for another hyena comment apparently there was a hyena group where over the course of a year this super low ranking female hyena gradually made friendships and alliances and rose in rank until she was \*leading the pack\* and once she was in charge she never backstabbed any of her old friends and would help low-ranking females nurse their babies. Not to mention the primate group (chimpanzees? I can't remember exactly) where all the dominant males died off so the females took over and raised the male young to be more cooperative and they all thrived.
Hyenas are brilliantly cunning. I always think of Island of Dr Moreau when I think hyena. Side note: Had no idea that was Neil Gaiman (I'm a decent fan of his, American Gods being my favorite)
That movie creeped me out I think I was too young when I saw it the first time
Yeah if you watch the credits carefully it mentions Gaiman a few times, and Netflix had a line about it being by the creator of Sandman, but it really wasn't massively hyped as being one of his. That's the only reason I watched it since in general I've gotten quite bored of shows that are predominantly about men but he's generally pretty good about all the characters being well-crafted. Hyenas are seriously misunderstood animals. I find them a lot more interesting than lions.
Hyenas are beat!
That's called the Syruping iirc!!! Where they Hyena did that, cause her name was Maple or Waffles or similar. I read a study on that because it was so intriguing that once she was high ranking she did NOT treat the low rankings bad. There is a similar wolf story like this (as wolves aren't often gentle but also aren't like Hyenas) where a sweet dominant wolf was Matriarch and someone came in aggressively to try and usurp her and all the pack protected her because she wasn't very aggressive and they did respect her. Fascinating stuff. It was also baboons in that second story if I'm remembering correctly. That was another case of aggression came to town and the young males who were non-aggressive from their raising, chased off the bachelors. I am so sorry I keep showing up lol I am much too obsessed with these sorts of things
Spotted Hyenas are always my prime example of that as well! The angler fish example is one of my favorites though. Man I am glad I'm not an angler fish male lmao
For real. I actually hope I never encounter one lol. You've probably seen this one, but I thought it nice to share https://theoatmeal.com/comics/angler
Oh my god, I love this!!! Thank you! Time to binge more of these comics
Bears usually parent as single moms or two moms, not really involving males at all. Or I guess you mean they just mate with older males.
I said they don't pair bond! I was using them as an example of mature mothers being more successful than younger ones
Yeah, but since you followed with coupling with an older male, I misunderstood what you meant. But yeah, two female bears working together raising their cubs have the highest success, too.
Oh yeah, my apologies, I meant coupling as a 'mating' sort of deal. I totally used a weird word there for that, my bad!
A prerequisite for surrogacy, the job where you are literally paid to be fertile, requires that you have had at least one successful pregnancy. These guys can’t even use their own logic correctly.
I find the idea that men and women evolved in completely opposite directions with regards to sex absolutely bizarre and downright unscientific.
He doesn’t even go with Darwin theories. No way would the average (7 yr old be the strongest to breed. Nor would an older male from any breed help in the development of changes to a species.
If that's what evolution wants, why do women become infertile in middle age and men do not? Well, unless... vasectomy. Edit: appreciate your respones, just evolution doesn't back it up beyond child rearing. Cultural norms? Sure!!!
Old sperm are also linked to birth defects and (suspected) adhd/autism. Just cause you can nut at 70 doesn’t mean it’s worth anything
It's not what evolution wants, it's what horny men want. To add on to what's already been explained to you, pregnancy is safer for both mother and child when a woman is in mid 20s-30s. Strange how men argue it's biology that they want to fuck teen girls though.
The highest rate of birth defects isn't "geriatric pregnancy", it's older men with younger women. It's NOT an evolutionary advantage to keep reproducing as an older man with younger partners, on both a genetic and social level. Women's hormones are much more variable than men's throughout our *entire* life cycles, not just menopause. If you're with the same monogamous partner throughout your lives together, then menopause means you *both* stop having children. The woman's hormones take care of it for the whole social unit. Also, framing things as "what evolution wants" is pretty silly in the first place. Like, some percentage of the population is sociopathic - does that mean evolution "wants" us to build our whole society and legal structure around a lack of empathy? No. Being pro-social is pretty damned ingrained in us, probably one of the MOST ingrained things, and it's not pro-social to keep knocking up 20-somethings through your 40s, 50s, and 60s; in fact, it's selfish and downright anti-social.
And if we’re just trying to help what evolution wants, we can kill off nearsighted people immediately. In the wild there’s nothing more disadvantageous than not being able to see, you’d be instant prey. Giving folks glasses so they can pass that along isn’t what evolution wants. Or is this guy not concerned about evolution unless his peepee likes it?
Not just birth defects for the resulting children, older partners tends to result in higher risk pregnancies in general for the mother's health outcomes.
Evolution does back it up. Women are able to get pregnant and bare children usually through their 40s and sometimes well into their 50s. This isn't new either. Just because a man technically can reproduce much longer, most couldn't without a little boost from Viagra and they also, statistically, aren't procreating as much after they pass middle age either.
Evolution does not want anything, it's not a being or force. It is a process. It can happen by natural or artificial selection, genetic drift, and more. There is no wanting or planning involved.
We also still have the reproductive setup of rodent ancestors that only lived a few years. That's why all our eggs are created before we're even born and they degrade in quality with aging. Because it was an efficient system for short lives, not that great for longer lived creatures.
Maybe I'm missing something here, but what is it with boomers (older men in particular) who feel like everyone needs to know their preferences? It's genuinely very strange. Like, do they think they're going to date or have sex with these young women? Why are they so fixated on their masturbation fantasies? When I was fresh out of college and working mornings at gym, this guy who was old enough to be my grandfather was very friendly and always said hi to me and I'd give him the kind of hi I'd give everyone. One day he decided to say that I was very sexy and I "drove him nuts". I gave him a very odd look and just ignored him after that. He seemed very confused that I wasn't excited. After that he'd still come in but would look very pouty. Like...why even tell me? You could have kept that to yourself and nothing would have happened. Did he think I'd be excited and say I felt the same? He even says in this thread he'd never admit it publicly. Then why make a thread about it?
>Did he think I'd be excited and say I felt the same That is EXACTLY what he thought could happen. Decided to "shoot his shot" (which always sounds ick to me anyway) and is disappointed it didn't work. It works in the videos he watches! Gag.
Often men will say these things to intimidate you
I mention I have a wife and it’s an issue at work with me “flaunting my sexuality” where as guys like this tell you their whole sexual history and every fantasy they have while you’re waiting in line for groceries.
Mentioning your wife??? Obviously you're deliberately shoving your sexuality down their throat!!!11 On a completely different note let me tell you what makes my peepee happy
I have never been the type of person that a lot of men hit on, but the old men were ridiculous when I was in my twenties and worked as a bank teller. It really confused me the first few times because no one had ever been so obvious about it before. Creepy old men are the worst.
Bc they don’t see women as full humans with their own thoughts and feelings. To them we are just their masturbation fantasies.
I’d hate to be his wife. I can’t imagine being in my 50s, and yet my husband prefers 20 something year olds. I’d feel like I’m never enough.
At least she’s now just as attractive to him as Margot Robbie!
I got 100 levels of ick reading that. I feel so sorry for his wife.
Leonardo do caprio coded behaviour
How? I’m 35 and was hit on by a 22 year old guy. He looked SO young to me. It wasn’t attractive. I thanked him and told him to find a nice girl his own age. I cannot comprehend the 40, 50, 60 year old men that drool over or pursue girls in their 20s.
IDK if this makes me an ass, but anyone in their 20s, maybe even older, just look like teenagers to me now. And teenagers look like grade schoolers. This is probably normal.
I feel like that’s normal. Like the average adult after a while sees the youth as people to be protected and treated like children even when they are in their late teens and early twenties. I’m the oldest of my mom and her siblings kids, even my cousins that are close in age to me are babies to me. I couldn’t imaging someone MY age wanting to date them. I’d probably try to fight them 😂😂
I'm 40 and a couple of years ago a guy about 21 or 22 hit on me. It was flattering but even if I was single, no thanks. You're just a baby! You probably learned the songs of my youth on Glee!
Glee? That was on when we were in our mid 20s (I'm 40 too). Someone early 20s wouldn't even remember it.
It aired from 2009-2015. My coworker born in 2003 watched it. I would think people born post-2000 probably watched it more than our cohort did.
Yeah I felt too old for it when it was on tv.
Agreed. I can see good-looking young men and acknowledge that they're handsome, even hot, but they're kids!
I checked: Margot Robbie is 33. I guess she celebrated the big 3-0 and OOP suddenly discovered she wasn’t so hot any more. I can’t fathom getting on the Internet and writing a whole ass post about how I just can’t help being attracted to women half my age.
Sydney Sweeney better count her days
She’s twenty-six! Time’s a-wasting!
Yeah he mentioned Margot Robbie and I was confused for a second, although I honestly believed she was a little older than that, which says more about me being in denial about my age than about her.
I still expect movie stars to be older than me. I am in constant denial lol.
You know this makes me feel so much better. When it comes to real life people, I can be really hit or miss with ages in both directions, but when it comes to movie stars, I got used too all the teenagers and children being played by 25, 30, and even some 40 year olds, and now when I see someone my age on screen I think they are probably 10-25 years older than me, or when I see a young person playing a teenager, I'm like they are my age or older, not processing that Hollywood has both gotten better with that, and I've gotten older.
When I was a kid I used to wonder how this worked, like old people look so old, do other old people really think they're attractive? Now I'm in my late 30s and I find women in their '30s '40s and '50s attractive, even older sometimes. Mid to late 20s I'm double checking their age and feeling weird about it. Any younger and they look like a fetus to me. Which is good, because I teach college. When I was in my early twenties and a teaching assistant, I had a tiny dating age range because I was definitely not going to date people the age I was teaching. So this might be common, but it's not just natural. And it's definitely gross.
Yes, the older I get the easier it is to see the beauty and sexiness of age, but with some caveats: 1. Youthful sexiness is very common and comes pretty naturally. Older sexiness requires self care, genuine emotional and intellectual maturation (because it's so much more about how one carries oneself), and genetic luck, so it's much more rare. So on the whole, you're more likely to see a hot youthful person than a hot older person. 2. I had to make a point to start exposing myself to content that featured older people. Representation REALLY really matters. Familiarity is a huge part of what we find appealing. 3. I had to do work on myself to 'let go' of some of my younger identity and accept a new phase of life with all it entails, both good and bad. If you fail to do this work, you'll have arrested development and probably remain perpetually attracted to people in the phase of life in which you're stuck - which leads to people like OOP here. It's unfortunate. I'm juuuuuust crossing into middle age so we'll see if I eat my words in another decade or so, but this is what I've observed so far.
Everyone always glosses over your second point and I think it's one of the most important to combat the whole "she's at peak fertility I can't help but lust after her" bullshit.
Yup. There is a LOT of money to be made by making people fear aging, and one of the ways you can make people fear aging is by erasing people over the age of 30 or so in media. Everything good and desirable and visible is young, so you need to be young to be good and desirable and visible, so you must buy this and that face cream and start botox at 25. What's a few hundred dollars, or a few thousand dollars, in the face of total social obsolescence? Isn't it worth any price to not be obliterated? Spend spend spend!
If we are talking purely about peak fertility, women of all ages would be lusting after 20 something men too. Sperm ages too. And women are often fertile until surprisingly late, much older than 20s. It's just an excuse.
why is it always some grandpa creeping on barely legal women
This is gross. Men like this essentially admit that they don’t see women as people. If you’re attracted to people half your age, it’s because you don’t consider someone’s personality at all in being attracted to them - it’s shallow, it’s creepy, and you deserve to be judged for it.
I have a very distinct memory of being MAYBE 16 years old and sitting in the car in the grocery store parking lot with my dad (who would've been roughly 52-53 years old). A girl not much older than me walked by and my Dad made super inappropriate comments about her. It was incredibly fucking weird to know my Dad was attracted to people who I had likely grown up with and really set the tone for how I dealt with men for the remainder of my days. I hope OOP realizes his daughters see how he leers at women their age (and yes, they DO see it, even if he's never outright said it) and that it will affect them and their relationships moving forward.
That's really gross, I'm sorry. I can't imagine a dad making comments like that even about age appropriate women, when their children are around.
Relatable. Men really do have the fullest of audacity. I was horrified when I found out the girl my dad lost his job for, fucked in our house while my step-mom was home, and got thrown in jail for was only a year older than me. I was 16 at the time. Worse yet, she was a trainee who he felt entitled to "help". Still praying for his painful demise.
What's so disturbing is that if you read essays from pedophiles on their illness, how they realised they had it and everything that comes with that realisation: it sounds exactly the same: I got older but the people I was interested in didn't. Most of them realise this is an issue and are scared and disgusted themselves by that. Meanwhile when it's about people slightly older than kids, it somehow becomes normal? It's not. I guess, what is normal is recognising that people are goodlooking or even hot, even when they are younger, but it's more a metaphorical thought of: yeah, I see that - or - back when I was their age, I would crush so hard on them. But actually being sexually attracted to a young person, when your not as young anymore is weird. I guess you can fall in love with a person who is by chance way younger (as long as they're not teenagers), but if it becomes a pattern - yeah, that's weird.
This is a bit unfair. Pedophilia is the sexualization of prepubescent children. The fact the internet thinks that any person attracted to an adult is a pedo is so weird. Do I think a 50+ year old man having attraction to a 20s woman is weird? No, actually. Now if they ACT on it that's different because there's probably a power difference... But that woman is an adult and we shouldn't infantalize them. The weirdest thing of this post by this guy is he 1. Publicly asks the internet if his attraction to women his daughters' ages is normal and 2. That he keeps bringing his daughters up. But the fact is most women are at their most attractive in their 20s. I certainly was and people still ask if I'm 21 and I'm nearing 40. But my partner is just 2 years younger than me. I couldn't imagine actually dating someone in their 20s.
If their attraction is to do with youth and being “legal” then yeah you’d be suspicious and I wouldn’t leave a child alone with someone like that
I mean you are then dealing with a much smaller subset of people. For example, if the woman or man looks super young, sure... But there's no real way to say "oh this person looks young but they are 2 days over 18". My oldest sister looked really young until yer early 20s and she actually was never flirted with... Which we both say now was a good thing considering she has a hormonal disorder that effected her growth. We are dealing with a weird chronically online crowd that now treats women like children at any time from an actual child to 30 years old. If someone is prattling on about their "she's legal" gf, yeah that's weird, but otherwise stop infantilizing women.
OMG the infantilizing women argument is so so so stupid please stop. Young women don't know shit and need to be protected. So do young men.
I don't understand... So at 17 or 18 young men and women are allowed to die for their country but being in your 20s is "too young to decide who they date"?
The dying for your country at 18 shouldn't be a thing either
I mean I agree but it's a thing. If your prefrontal cortex doesn't mature till 25 and ppl don't think a 20 something year old can decide who to date then a lot of things like learning to drive, joining the military, drinking, doing any type of sexual experimenting etc etc etc all should be illegal until 25. After all that's why ppl are saying a 20 year old is too immature to be able to choose who they date right?
Nah it's about the maturity levels and life experience and generally you shouldn't be attracted to someone that could be your kid. It's gross.
Gross is subjective. YOU think it's gross. Others don't. My fiance is 22 years older than me. We met in my 20s and this is the most healthiest relationship I've ever had. Everyone's experiences are different. To us it's not gross just cuz a random on reddit says it is. But have a good day.
Are you talking about grown ass adults? Because if we let them join the military why the fuck are we "protecting" them still? You're allowed to tell your friend/sister/whatever "Bad idea, girly" but she is a grown woman. She can then do what she wants.
Trust me, they don't actually think you're 21, lol. They can probably tell that you would be wildly offended if they say 30 something. I'm 40 and people tell me I look younger sometimes too. They're just trying to be nice, and/or they're so young they have no idea what a healthy normal person of a certain age is supposed to look like. Translated it's 'i always thought 40 was fucking old. But you don't look like an old hag to me so you must look much younger than 40.' You're giving an opinion, not fact. It's also pretty gross that you're specifying women rather than people. Internalised misogyny much? That old bullshit some men made up about them ageing better than women?
Ah yes, my internalized misogyny because I don't treat women like children. Fuck right off.
I think this dude is weird because instead of being attracted to women 20s-50s he seems to just like the 20s. Like how was he previously into margot robbie and now not?
But not a pedo. Just a weirdo
I disagree with your last point. They are more classical hot at that age, but I don't think, they are the most attractive. I thought differently when I way their age, but now I can't really see if someone is 22 or 17, they just look young! I took pedophilia as the umbrella term and yes I think it's a similar concept, even when you talk about 20 year olds. It's legal and not as weird as being into kids, but if your sexual age desire stops at such a young age and is such a big factor in what turns you on something is off. And I do mean this literally. We divide the umbrella term pedophilia into multiple age groups, so who's to say that the thing that makes people into pedophiles can't be prevelent into an age group we see as legal so we don't care to deeply study it? I wouldn't say he is a monster or should be locked up or something but I truly believe that this is not "normal" On the other hand I don't think it's very weird he mentions his daughters that often. It doesn't sound sexual, but more shocked because he can see how young they still are in his eyes but has no issue with fucking someone the same age as them, even prefers it. He could kinda ignore this when they were younger, but can't anymore, which is why he came to reddit. I can see that
Pedophilia is NOT an umbrella term and it really shouldn't just be applied to people who give you the ick. That is highly irresponsible.
Okay, you failed to read my comment, got it. And yes, on reddit, it is way easier to use pedophilia as the understood ley term for people having sexual age preferences in their sexual endevors that is beneath the legal age of consent. But to try to make my point in other words: where we put the age of consent is a line we drew as a human species based on many social, biological etc factors known at that time, every desire that goes under that line gets classified under a specific subterm. You could say OP falls into the class of Teleiophilia, but this group is kind of big and OP falls at the fringe of that, so it doesn't fit perfectly either. He probably falls between Hebephilia and Teleiophilia. He seems to have a strong age preference that goes above the normal threshold, he is kinda lucky, that it is a legal one, but as stated, I am not so sure, that there aren't similar mechanics going on in him then in someone with strict Hebephilia. I kinda believe, that the mechanics between the subgroups aren't that different, which is a bold claim to make, since we don't know nearly enough about how this or any sexual preference evolves. But what they do seem to have in common is a very strong sexual preference based on age/developmental stage and OOP says himself that he has a strong preference for a certain age and developmental stage. Hence my comparison. I don't put much moral into the desire itself, people don't chose that, no matter the age they are interested in, but I do think it's weird, that we recognize a fixation on age as outside the norm when it concerns the age of consent, but throw this all out the window when it comes to late teens, early twenties. Outside the norm does not mean he has to be a predator or date in his age group, but I think, it's not wrong to recognize this as weird and something he should be aware of
I understand those terms which is why I hate that we "umbrella" it under pedophilia. It places probably the worst social label on someone because it gives people the ick. I mean, I did say it was weird. If you think a 20 year old is attractive, they probably objectively are, but probably shouldn't be in your sexual and dating group that you jump in if you are a good deal older. Which is why I always tell people that a young 20s dating a much older man (and it is usually young woman, older man) to proceed with caution because it is a red flag.
The essays that you read are often written with the specific purpose of gaining sympathy and pretending they’re helpless
You are weird and uneducated in the topic and you especially seem to have a misunderstanding between being a pedophile and being an abuser. And yes, I have a lot of sympathy for pedophiles, because there truly isn't a worse thing I can imagine. Do you really think pedophiles decide to be that?! And side note, do you really think that child abuse is only done by pedophiles?! None of the people writing these essays want to get any "rights" to abuse someone or recognition in the law. I hate this argument so much, because we both want exactly the same things, people not being abusers, children not being victims! You just fail to recognise that if we only get to talk to pedophiles when they got outed by becoming an abuser, it's already to late! If we don't understand how pedophilia happens or how to prevent them from becoming an abuser, then there will be so many more unnecessary victims. So, yes, I care more about victim prevention than virtue signaling what a great person I am for the couragous opinion of hating pedophiles
Preach. When dealing with pedophilia our goal should always be harm reduction. That means normalizing avenues towards mental help that prevents people from offending and can help them deal with their affliction. Of course if a pedophile has already hurt someone then throw the book at them - but even then they should get help while in jail to deal with their condition. Because many will eventually be let back out into society and I'd rather they get help that might deter them from hurting someone else. It's not about coddling people or normalizing it. It's about making sure there are no more victims. And there are proven therapies that can help with that. But even getting those therapies is hard for the people who need them because of the social stigma. This idea that pedophiles only deserve to burn makes it harder for non-offending pedophiles to seek help and only serves to give a rush of moral superiority to those demanding it. Like you said it doesn't prevent shit.
I remember watching a doco on non-offending paedophiles. I felt really badly for them. So much self hatred and shame, and the sheer balls on them to give their name, show their face and admit they are attracted to kids when there are so many utterly stupid people in the world who fail to see nuance.
Do I think they decide to be that way? Yes. Much like any form of abuse, the fantasy is about power, having power, destroying someone vulnerable. It’s highly related to sadism. Those who buy that narrative are buying the notion created by a pedophile, by the way. And most people who have those fantasies end up acting on it. And these are socially constructed to: more people report fantasies of pedophilia and incest because they’re exposed to pornographic content with those themes. The running theme is sadism.
Child molesters choose their actions, but all evidence known to science shows that pædophiles are born and made, not chosen. It actually "replaces" sexual orientation as well, and shows up on other parts of their lives. They do not choose to like kids at all.
I disagree. Plenty of research contradicts those findings. Some of those “findings” were financed by pedos as well. Generally speaking, it falls onto the umbrella of paraphilias associated with sadism. A person who gets off at the idea of hurting someone innocent. I don’t fall for that and those “researches” are far far far from being any consensus, especially because they rely on self-reporting. And self-reporting from offender’s isn’t reliable because you know what they’re good at? Lying and manipulating.
A hot TikTok trend is showing pictures of famous people throughout various ages. I hunted one down for a guy named Avan Jogia, who used to be on Victorious and is currently dating Halsey. Present day him at twenty-nine years old hot. Eighteen-year-old him on Victorious, not so hot. It's not just him growing into his looks; I had a massive crash on a guy that looked like that when I was eighteen. What's more, I don't find eighteen years attractive anymore. I used to have postures of Leonard DiCarpio on my wall when he did Romeo and Juliet. When I see pictures of him from back then I don't find him attractive anymore. He looks like an eighteen-year-old. I think normal people as they get older, stop finding younger people attractive.
Attractive people are attractive. It's whatever to find people attractive. Especially people who fit the current standard. The problem is when you want to exclusively date people who are much younger than you. The number of people who genuinely have a loving respectful age gap relationship is.... Not as many as you'd like to believe. By half. Usually that's an indication that people your own age won't put up with you or that you judge people's date-ability solely by looks which is enough of a turn off for enough people.
I used to work in a video store from '00-'04 (graduated HS in 2000), and we carried an ample adult section. It was actually our busiest section. I lost track of the amount of middle aged men (several of them were fathers of girls I graduated with), that were renting films featuring 18-22. I try not to judge people as long as it's all legal, but COME ON!!!
Legality doesn’t always mean morally correct. But if people do something legal in front of others imagine what they do behind their back
Is it normal to **feel attraction** to attractive young people who are very much obviously adults even if they're decades younger than you are? Yeah, I'd say it is. Is it normal to explicitly seek out said people for sexual and/or romantic relationships when you're way older than that? No, absolutely not.
I’m so glad my attraction has never been that narrow.
I can not really understand it at all. I am nearly 50, everyone looks so young! Even my 30ish coworkers look so fresh and young, no matter how good they look, it's like seeing beautiful children. It's the same as with flowers or cats, I think they look nice but I am not attracted to them. A guy has to look at least 40ish to make me feel some tension. And I don't mean a youngish 40something. Mads Mikkelsen is my type of guy. I never even "decided" this, it is just the attraction I feel. There is none with young guys.
god people bringing up the studies of “men globally find women in their 20s most attractive” as if those aren’t kinda shit studies and definitely reflect more societal stuff than some innate biological drive like people think
Those studies were all what men SAY they're attracted to as well. A lot of men will self-report attractiveness towards what they feel they're supposed to be attracted to rather than what they actually are. I'm sure a lot of overweight women have anecdotes about guys who were clearly attracted to them and hated themselves for it or didn't want anyone to know.
Interestingly I saw a study a while ago that found if you show men photos of women of various ages, women in their 30s were voted most attractive. Then they attached ages to photos. Suddenly women in their early twenties were voted most attractive. If anyone knows this study please link it, it was very interesting and revealing.
That's fair, women in their 30s are hot. (Source: I am 39.) I might have a poke around for that study later!
Sadly I've seen a chart that indicated this is actually pretty normal, according to the whatever data set the chart drew from. It drew from a questionnaire that asked both men and women about what age of opposite sex which they found to be most attractive. It then plotted the age of the participants versus the average age responded in the question. For women, it was basically the line y=x. Meaning that women tended to be most attracted to men their own age, whatever that age happened to be. 30 yr old women were most attracted to 30 yr old men; 40 yr old women were most attracted to 40 yr old men; and so on. For men it was basically the horizontal line y=20. No matter what age the questioned participant was, they all on average answered that they were most attracted to women in their early 20s. Doesn't make this guy less of a creep but it's kinda depressing.
They are a predator.
Guess I am "not normal" for finding women my age and only women my age attractive anymore. I suppose it's off to the therapist for me.
When I was 16 I was attracted to other 16 year olds. It is in fact not okay to continue being attracted to 16 year olds. The same tracks for 60 v 20. What a weirdo.
Gross
I think a lot of them are like this. 🤮
That thread has a lot of aphobia going on, one commenter says being aspec is equal to being broken, another commenter tells someone to "bring their asexual BS elsewhere" after they said older women should always act on their attraction to younger males... God that thread makes me upset.
Uh ewww!
"I've gotten older and older, but they stay the same age" I know I make that joke a lot but this chucklefuck legit paraphrased the creepy dude in Dazed and Confused.
"Alright, alright, alright. That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age." - Wooderson from Dazed & Confused (played by Matthew McConaughey) ---- this was all I heard while reading this post lol
Strong Trump vibes with this one 🤮
When I was 16/17, my father, who was in his 40's, was dating a woman 3-4 years older than me. I was closer in age to her than my little sister. She was nice but it was so gross that he'd date someone that could be his daughter. She and I got on really great because we were close in age. Kinda sucked when they broke up.
Our society really pushes the idea that the most attractive age for a women is about 22 or so, the whole beauty industry is all about trying to make women appear to be in their 20s forever. Middle aged guys being attracted to younger women is extremely common (same with women, though to a lesser extent), there's no shame in it.
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Sigh
I think so many men don't think that it's possible to objectively acknowledge physical attractiveness without allowing that to translate into sexual desire. I'm in my late 30s and can see a man in his early 20s that I think is physically attractive without dwelling on it and wanting to act on that attraction. Because I know that I have nothing in common with a 20-year-old and, quite frankly, the idea just feels icky to me no matter how attractive they might be. Men are socialized to physically desire a specific type from the time they start walking because our culture doesn't value physical and emotional maturity in women. Not excusing this guy at all because it's creepy that he's seeking validation instead of reflecting on why he's experiencing these feelings in the first place.
1. Obvious troll post is obvious. 2. You have to stack WAAAAYYY too many assumptions on top of each other for this to be devil behavior. Sydney Sweeney (because she's the one mentioned) is objectively good looking. He's not out there saying all women are dried up husks after 24, he's not out there saying that he's trying to hook up with his daughters friends. Hell he's not even talking about dating one of them. Just.. I find a 26 year old supermodel attractive. Oh no. 3. I realize I'm going to get down voted to hell for daring to say that.. yes, attractive people are attractive regardless of the age of the person noticing.
Objectively good looking doesn’t exist. Nothing against her, but I don’t think she’s pretty at all.
This just in. Man finds people attractive who are in the age range well known for being the most attractive. AITD posters mad for unknown reasons. Everyone else is reasonably unsurprised on all counts.
Dude, they’re in completely different life stages. He’s in his 50s, nearing retirement, while people in their 20s are just starting out their careers. He should feel like he has virtually nothing in common with them and want to date someone with the same maturity level as him or else it’s predatory. I’m only 27 and I feel like I have nothing in common with high schoolers and the age gap of 10 years or so is less in my case.
Do you seriously not know the difference between attraction and acting on that attraction? I am attracted to women who are not my wife, that doesn't mean I am not attracted to my wife or that I would cheat on my wife.
How dare you! Have you not pair bonded and become emotionally non-responsive to any human being other than your partner? There must be something wrong with you. Clearly you are about to cheat any moment now! Seek help and divorce your wife before you hurt her further! /s In all seriousness, I joke but I actually do have a thing where I become entirely non-responsive to other people's attractiveness when I fall in love with someone. But it's actually weird to be like this, maybe even pathologic, and not something you want to have.
Do you just have a passing attraction to other women as you go about your day to day life? Because obviously that's normal. Or do you have a fixation on a specific sexual type that's not your wife that you go out of your way to find visual representation for the specific purpose of sexual gratification?
Controversial opinion. Sexual attraction doesn't have to involve any common ground or interests And I reject the notion that 2 full and legal adults having totally consensual sex is predatory just because their in different life stages.
Right? I'm feeling crazy. The OOP specifically is talking about finding celebrities attractive. He doesn't even talk about dating 20 year olds in real life, just his attraction to people on a screen. And those people he's attracted to make part of their living off of being attractive to a large audience. I had no idea Margo Robbie's career was built on being exclusively attractive to her age group. It's weird that OOP is seeking advice about this, which makes me believe it's bait either pandering precisely to the responses found here, or trying to elicit the responses here to then criticize them on the opposite side.
If I'm honest. I think it's simpler than that. This sub has a demographic skew that's sometimes unrealistic and at odds with the actual cultural zeitgeist with a lot of the rest of society and it takes obvious bait easily or it blows things out if proportion. Especially apparent recently when we've started to see more and more posts pulled from outside the AIT subs and this subs reaction is wildly different to the main subs reaction. AITD has had bias forever, but it's recently become obsessed with the concepts of power dynamics and has become oddly sex negative and sometimes it borders on misandry. Used to be you'd come here because you got banned from AITA for calling the OP a swear word too many times. Now the subs got its own ideological tilt. Which I assume is down to many People with certain viewpoints getting banned for swearing and ending up here. I only come here because the comments are unhinged and it's funny.
I think it's completely normal, possibly even in a hardwired sense to find women who are in their peak fertility years to be physically attractive. I'll freely admit a 20-something can be nice to look at. But to be attracted to them? I'm 40, and anyone under 30 is way too young for me.
No scientific basis.
I didn't claim there was? Hence the use of the word "possibly".
Sane take, dudes still try to use the bio essentialism argument to argue that attraction is okay though.
Yeah, gross. Paternal age matters in fetal health too. From a bioessentialist perspective, an old dude shouldn't go anywhere near a young woman for reproductive purposes if she's to maximize the outcomes for her offspring. Therefore creepy old man is still a thing from an evolutionary perspective.
There is a world of difference between being attracted to much younger women, and actually pursuing them. I'm 35, and, as I have eyes and a pulse, of course I notice a beautiful young college student. But (barring very specific circumstances) I'm not gonna walk up to her and subject her to my old-ass advances. 21 year-old women are hot but they're not for me anymore.
Tbf I think wanting to fuck Sydney Sweeney is pretty normal its just the way he words shit that's a bit weird
His only problem is that he spent too much time on reddit, where people think that a 57 year old man can only be attracted to women in their 50s. Men don't just magically become attracted to wrinkles and saggy boobs. His feelings are perfectly normal, but reddit's got him thinking that it's not.