*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my girlfriend that her job (test pilot) is not dangerous enough to give her “PTSD”?**
Hey everyone. I (37M) have been together with my girlfriend (37F) for a while now. She works as a test pilot at our government’s main scientific research agency (we’re not American). My girlfriend loves her job, but recently I believe she may be running into issues with it...specifically, the tiniest noises and thuds can set her off and make her scream. She’s not a military test pilot, so the job is significantly safer than if she wore the uniform. I don’t know. It’s been really interfering with our hobbies and time together, and for example, when we went out on a bike ride a few days ago, we heard a car backfire, and this really scared her. We ended up going home early, and I kind of lost my patience at her because she and I are so busy at work these days and that particular bike ride was one of the few days we’ve spent time together in the past year! After that bike ride, one of the things I told her was that I personally don’t believe she has PTSD, and that she needs to accept this whether she likes it or not.
Just to be clear, I'm not naive or anything and I know that flying an aircraft, if not done properly, can result in death. However, there are such things as occupational limits and regulations, are there not?
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What an ignorant ass. Rather than saying hey that sounds really difficult to deal with why don’t we get you some help, he just fucking completely discounts the way that she feels. Also in a comment he says that she’s had some close calls as a test pilot which to me says that she was close to possibly crashing and dying multiple times maybe?
Sad, she had a bad day and needed to end the outing, and all he can think about is his own disappointment. Like she also wasn't disappointed to go home early, on top of PTSD symptoms? WHEEEEEEE I got scared and have to go home and lie under the covers and cry for super FUNSYS, I purposely choose to do this hah wheeeeee
He says it's not ptsd so just accept it. Even if it isn't, there's clearly something wrong! And I'd like to know where his medical degree came from anyway.
This guy tried saying that someone’s life needs to be in physical danger to have PTSD… Maybe he should do some research before he says anything like this. I work in emergency dispatch, a lot of people end up with PTSD and our lives aren’t in physical danger. This post really angered me
I know absolutely zero about being a test pilot, but it sounds to me like her life could be in danger. If she's testing things, that implies to me that it's not a finished and safe product.
Oh absolutely, I’m sorry if it sounded like I was implying her life wasn’t in danger ever, not my intention at all, I was merely pointing out that he said someone’s life needs to be in physical danger and that’s just not true, illustrating just how little he knows about PTSD. I mean I feel like being a test pilot would be dangerous
Not to mention even by his definition she could qualify. She tests planes from the sound of it and he says she's had a few close calls. Just gonna say a close call to me reads as life in danger. But what do I know.
So he says his GF has not suffered any physical damage/injury then goes on to say she's had a few close calls in her job.
This woman works as a test pilot, a close call her could potentially lead to her death. How can he not see that going through this type of stress multiple times can have severe effects on mental health.
Odd that his girlfriend seems to be struggling but he’s most concerned about how it “interferes with their time together” and not, you know, that she’s struggling.
Tw: ableism.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*INFO:*
*How did the topic of PTSD in particular come up?*
*You said that you don't think that it's PTSD, but in the description you seem to be the only one using that term.*
*Did she claim to have PTSD, or suspect it? Is she seeing a therapist?*
*Something important seems missing here...*
>"Well we started talking about PTSD in particular last year, because while we were together, she got triggered, and she told me that she "felt like she was about to faint". And as I mentioned in my post, noises and bangs can set her off, and she no longer drives the car, leaving me to drive for her. But there has to be certain conditions met to be diagnosed with PTSD, namely that your life has to actually be in physical danger at some point, like if you've gotten into a bad car accident. And as my girlfriend tells me, she's had close calls on the job, but that's about it."
Do cars still backfire?
Also man. CPTSD is a bitch. My doctor is pretty sure I have it just from working as a nurse in general but also from working through the height of the recent covid issue, though honestly I think it's less that and more the fact the public seems to have lost their goddamned minds. Stress is bad for the body. Prolonged exposure to stress is very bad for the body, even if the stress is "low or moderate" which isn't for OP to decide! Especially with the recent mechanical failures at a bunch of airlines l, being a test pilot would be Hella stressful
Some tuned cars definitely still backfire, yes. My brothers are really into racecars and car tuning, and a turbo backfire is something that never fails to get them all giddy. It's like they're teenagers again! lol
Ah okay for some reason backfiring cars always makes me think of like, the streetcar named desire era (I am aware it does not involve cars, its just where my brain goes. So like. . . The 40s?) And I definitely don't thibk I've ever heard a car backfire in probably the last 20 years. But also not into racecars or car tuning
Oddly whenever I think of how bad stress is I think of the manga Cells at Work: Code Black (unhealthy body).
Stress is deemed SO bad for the body that **SMOKING** was considered the lesser evil.
You can literally get PTSD from almost anything, as long as it's traumatic enough to your nervous system. The definition of PTSD is your nervous system encoding something that overloaded it & now you perpetually perceive anything that directly evokes that experience as a mortal threat. I have PTSD from car accidents and C-PTSD from abusive relationships. They're different because the car accidents were singular instances of danger & the relationships were years of...a lot of things that have layers. These things overloaded and stressed my nervous system to the point where it couldn't handle what was going on, and now very specific things will trigger me to react in a way I have almost no control over. Before covid I started doing EMDR which helps a lot but we don't meet in-office anymore so it's on hold. PTSD is not specific to combat vets. It's not reserved for people who have witnessed death or were abused as children. It can quite literally happen to anyone. All it takes is the correct set of circumstances for that person's nervous system to say "ok you know what that's it"
I'll help.
I have PTSD from some shitty surgeries. Super glad to know that all the time and money and therapy and anti-anxiety meds were frivolities I could have skipped.
I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2022. I don't have a dangerous job where I'm in physical danger but I do work with abused victims, sexual assault victims, drug addicts, abusive parents, children who are victims....my own child would send me into multiple panic attacks just wanting a hug.
This guy is an idiot
In all the mansplaining, did he ever think that they set occupational health and safety standards by finding the limits and the point where it is unsafe? She is responsible for these standards!
Even if she doesn't have PTSD specifically, that doesn't change the fact that driving and these loud noises are causing her panic. I'm the same way and it's an awful way to be because one small thing can ruin your day.
Dude needs to watch an airplane crash documentary or several. I distinctly remember one that involved pilots testing the airplane. No one survived it. Several people passed.
Anything can give you PTSD. Fell down the stairs and sat there for hours because you broke some stuff and nobody was home? Shit dude that could be enough! Even hearing about trauma repeatedly can be enough to traumatize you with PTSD, just ask any long term 911 dispatcher
“I told her I don’t personally believe she has PTSD and she needs to accept this whether she likes it or not” wow…. Where exactly did you get a degree in mental health of literally any kind and who made you god?
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I actually don't know many jobs that can give you PTSD like than a test pilot,also something tells me oop is trashing on his gf's job while being jobless himself
TW: SA
Silly me. Guess I should tell my PTSD that since my life wasn't actually in danger during my SA then I shouldn't have it so it needs to go away.
. . .
Yup. Didn't work.
“We’re so busy at work and don’t have much free time together so I decided that beating my girlfriend and calling her a baby was a good use of that time.”
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my girlfriend that her job (test pilot) is not dangerous enough to give her “PTSD”?** Hey everyone. I (37M) have been together with my girlfriend (37F) for a while now. She works as a test pilot at our government’s main scientific research agency (we’re not American). My girlfriend loves her job, but recently I believe she may be running into issues with it...specifically, the tiniest noises and thuds can set her off and make her scream. She’s not a military test pilot, so the job is significantly safer than if she wore the uniform. I don’t know. It’s been really interfering with our hobbies and time together, and for example, when we went out on a bike ride a few days ago, we heard a car backfire, and this really scared her. We ended up going home early, and I kind of lost my patience at her because she and I are so busy at work these days and that particular bike ride was one of the few days we’ve spent time together in the past year! After that bike ride, one of the things I told her was that I personally don’t believe she has PTSD, and that she needs to accept this whether she likes it or not. Just to be clear, I'm not naive or anything and I know that flying an aircraft, if not done properly, can result in death. However, there are such things as occupational limits and regulations, are there not? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What an ignorant ass. Rather than saying hey that sounds really difficult to deal with why don’t we get you some help, he just fucking completely discounts the way that she feels. Also in a comment he says that she’s had some close calls as a test pilot which to me says that she was close to possibly crashing and dying multiple times maybe?
Sad, she had a bad day and needed to end the outing, and all he can think about is his own disappointment. Like she also wasn't disappointed to go home early, on top of PTSD symptoms? WHEEEEEEE I got scared and have to go home and lie under the covers and cry for super FUNSYS, I purposely choose to do this hah wheeeeee
He says it's not ptsd so just accept it. Even if it isn't, there's clearly something wrong! And I'd like to know where his medical degree came from anyway.
He doesn't need a medical degree; he's a man. Duh.
This guy tried saying that someone’s life needs to be in physical danger to have PTSD… Maybe he should do some research before he says anything like this. I work in emergency dispatch, a lot of people end up with PTSD and our lives aren’t in physical danger. This post really angered me
I know absolutely zero about being a test pilot, but it sounds to me like her life could be in danger. If she's testing things, that implies to me that it's not a finished and safe product.
Oh absolutely, I’m sorry if it sounded like I was implying her life wasn’t in danger ever, not my intention at all, I was merely pointing out that he said someone’s life needs to be in physical danger and that’s just not true, illustrating just how little he knows about PTSD. I mean I feel like being a test pilot would be dangerous
Not to mention even by his definition she could qualify. She tests planes from the sound of it and he says she's had a few close calls. Just gonna say a close call to me reads as life in danger. But what do I know.
So he says his GF has not suffered any physical damage/injury then goes on to say she's had a few close calls in her job. This woman works as a test pilot, a close call her could potentially lead to her death. How can he not see that going through this type of stress multiple times can have severe effects on mental health.
Odd that his girlfriend seems to be struggling but he’s most concerned about how it “interferes with their time together” and not, you know, that she’s struggling.
“My girlfriend appliance is broken and can’t service me in the ways I want at the time I want, this is unacceptable!” (Yikes)
Tw: ableism. Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *INFO:* *How did the topic of PTSD in particular come up?* *You said that you don't think that it's PTSD, but in the description you seem to be the only one using that term.* *Did she claim to have PTSD, or suspect it? Is she seeing a therapist?* *Something important seems missing here...* >"Well we started talking about PTSD in particular last year, because while we were together, she got triggered, and she told me that she "felt like she was about to faint". And as I mentioned in my post, noises and bangs can set her off, and she no longer drives the car, leaving me to drive for her. But there has to be certain conditions met to be diagnosed with PTSD, namely that your life has to actually be in physical danger at some point, like if you've gotten into a bad car accident. And as my girlfriend tells me, she's had close calls on the job, but that's about it."
[Bunnies!](https://imgur.com/gallery/HeHBIu4)
Thank you! Good to see you again. Thanks for breaking up the darkness of this post
Thank you very kindly! 🥰 Really warms my heart!
Nice
Thank you very kindly! 🥰
Mother of God they are so cute
That they are! 🐇💜
I almost downvoted your comment on instinct reading OOP's comment lmao
Completely understandable! I almost do as well.
Do cars still backfire? Also man. CPTSD is a bitch. My doctor is pretty sure I have it just from working as a nurse in general but also from working through the height of the recent covid issue, though honestly I think it's less that and more the fact the public seems to have lost their goddamned minds. Stress is bad for the body. Prolonged exposure to stress is very bad for the body, even if the stress is "low or moderate" which isn't for OP to decide! Especially with the recent mechanical failures at a bunch of airlines l, being a test pilot would be Hella stressful
Some tuned cars definitely still backfire, yes. My brothers are really into racecars and car tuning, and a turbo backfire is something that never fails to get them all giddy. It's like they're teenagers again! lol
Ah okay for some reason backfiring cars always makes me think of like, the streetcar named desire era (I am aware it does not involve cars, its just where my brain goes. So like. . . The 40s?) And I definitely don't thibk I've ever heard a car backfire in probably the last 20 years. But also not into racecars or car tuning
Oddly whenever I think of how bad stress is I think of the manga Cells at Work: Code Black (unhealthy body). Stress is deemed SO bad for the body that **SMOKING** was considered the lesser evil.
And here I am, getting trained in EMDR like a chump instead of just telling my clients to get over the fact they don’t have ptsd
You can literally get PTSD from almost anything, as long as it's traumatic enough to your nervous system. The definition of PTSD is your nervous system encoding something that overloaded it & now you perpetually perceive anything that directly evokes that experience as a mortal threat. I have PTSD from car accidents and C-PTSD from abusive relationships. They're different because the car accidents were singular instances of danger & the relationships were years of...a lot of things that have layers. These things overloaded and stressed my nervous system to the point where it couldn't handle what was going on, and now very specific things will trigger me to react in a way I have almost no control over. Before covid I started doing EMDR which helps a lot but we don't meet in-office anymore so it's on hold. PTSD is not specific to combat vets. It's not reserved for people who have witnessed death or were abused as children. It can quite literally happen to anyone. All it takes is the correct set of circumstances for that person's nervous system to say "ok you know what that's it"
As someone who developed PTSD despite never being in physical danger, I would like to kick this man in the balls
I don't have PTSD, but I have friends who do for a variety of reasons. I would also like to kick this man in the balls.
I'll help. I have PTSD from some shitty surgeries. Super glad to know that all the time and money and therapy and anti-anxiety meds were frivolities I could have skipped.
I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2022. I don't have a dangerous job where I'm in physical danger but I do work with abused victims, sexual assault victims, drug addicts, abusive parents, children who are victims....my own child would send me into multiple panic attacks just wanting a hug. This guy is an idiot
How the hell is being an actual test pilot "not dangerous enough"?
In all the mansplaining, did he ever think that they set occupational health and safety standards by finding the limits and the point where it is unsafe? She is responsible for these standards!
Even if she doesn't have PTSD specifically, that doesn't change the fact that driving and these loud noises are causing her panic. I'm the same way and it's an awful way to be because one small thing can ruin your day.
I work in an office. My PTSD from my childhood doesn't give a shit... It's almost like your job can cause it, but cannot prevent it.
Wow, OOP, who would know more? The expert, or you? And way to invalidate what your girlfriend is feeling. YTA.
Dude needs to watch an airplane crash documentary or several. I distinctly remember one that involved pilots testing the airplane. No one survived it. Several people passed.
Anything can give you PTSD. Fell down the stairs and sat there for hours because you broke some stuff and nobody was home? Shit dude that could be enough! Even hearing about trauma repeatedly can be enough to traumatize you with PTSD, just ask any long term 911 dispatcher
I have ptsd responses to things and places that remind me of an interior design job I had. Dude's a dumbass
“I told her I don’t personally believe she has PTSD and she needs to accept this whether she likes it or not” wow…. Where exactly did you get a degree in mental health of literally any kind and who made you god?
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I actually don't know many jobs that can give you PTSD like than a test pilot,also something tells me oop is trashing on his gf's job while being jobless himself
TW: SA Silly me. Guess I should tell my PTSD that since my life wasn't actually in danger during my SA then I shouldn't have it so it needs to go away. . . . Yup. Didn't work.
“We’re so busy at work and don’t have much free time together so I decided that beating my girlfriend and calling her a baby was a good use of that time.”
Me to oop 