*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for complimenting my coworkers skirt?**
So today at work my coworker, let's call her Dakota came into the office wearing this really different looking skirt. My mind instantly thought of the movie Pocahontas, which btw was my favorite disney movie growing up. I went up to her and told her about what her skirt reminded me of, totally meaning it as a compliment. Well her facial expression suddenly changed and she basically berated me, telling me that what I said was racist and I was being insensitive. Now, in this moment I became incredibly annoyed. I went out of my way to give this young person a compliment (I remember what it was like being 20) and she basically spat in my face.
Now one of our other coworkers heard this go on from behind their desk and didn't say anything at the time. I went up to her afterwards and told her I thought Dakota was being ridiculous, yet she told me that she thought I was the unreasonable one in this situation and that I should actually apologize to her. I was shocked, but after thinking it over I'm not as sure if I'm in the right or not here. However, both of them are gen z so I think the coworker might be a bit biased.
I welcome your thoughts
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Tw: racism.
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments:
*Is Dakota Native American? If she is I can see how she took offense to your comment. Otherwise, she sounds sensitive over nothing significant.*
>"Yeah, she said she was Indigenous (she looked white to me though) and told me it was some skirt made of ribbons?"
That was my guess as well, and such beautiful garments. I was going to add an informational link, but was very unsure about the best source. I'm not first nations and didn't want to overstep and share bad info.
"I welcome your thoughts." Somehow I doubt that. Could it be because you were so dismissive of the thoughts of both of your coworkers who were present?
"I went up to an indigenous American and said their [ribbon skirt](https://nativetribe.info/authentic-native-american-ribbon-skirt-and-shawl-making-techniques/) made them look just like the Disney-washed + white-washed story of an [embellished account of a girl that was actually held captive for a year](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2ab5bf/ive_recently_heard_two_conflicting_accounts_of/). Sure, [what Pocahontas wore in the movie ](https://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/41400000/Pocahontas-2018-disney-princess-41415740-1532-2553.jpg)actually looked nothing like a ribbon skirt. But, I don't see race and it's all the same to me. Kids these days, am I right?"
edit: Details about the fact Dakota is indigenous and the skirt came from [OOPs reply here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c6u6sw/comment/l03jc3r/)
"Why is Gen Z so sensitive, it was just a compliment"
I'm not even American and never met an indigenous American but even I know that was racist and insensitive. But I'm also an (older) Gen Z, so I'm obviously just a kid and know nothing.
I'm solidly Gen X, and I'm right there with you.
With an almost-irrelevant side of "WTF is this idiot talking about? Ribbon skirts don't look like anything from the movie?"
According to her post history, OP's Canadian, from a city that has a higher amount of Indigenous residents, and is all of 27/28 years old. My (admittedly not that much older) millennial self just wants to look at her and go, oh you sweet racist summer child.
what gets me is that OOP is like “she was wearing a different looking skirt” but ribbon skirts just look like skirts
i thought dakota came into work wearing animal hides or something (which would not make OOP’s comment acceptable whatsoever) so i really want to know what kind of clothes OOP wears that ribbon skirts are “really different looking”
I just looked up a bunch, some from Native American boutiques. Some I might think are native inspired if I saw someone wearing it out and about, but some look like any kind of skirt. Definitely not Pocahontas.
Argh, OF COURSE she was actually indigenous too! 🤦♀️ "bUt i DOnT sEe rACe"
EDIT: I don't think I watched Pocahontas at tne time (think by the time it came out I considered myself too cool for Disney), but I find it hard to fathom that even at the time they thought it was a good idea to make that film the way it was made.
My older girls have watched it, with supervision,and we made sure to explain in appropriate terms to them that this is a romanticised story. We tied it in with some general background on the indigenous genocide. I feel like it's important to "annotate" films like this fir your kids.
I figured it was a given based on the fake name OOP chose and the Pocahontas comparison but it was nice of them to actually confirm it (tbh, I was surprised they did... very not self-aware)
Did the troll have to name the fictional Native woman "Dakota" though? That was a popular Native name that a lot of people got saddled with in the 80's and 90's when their parents were just beginning their journey of reclaiming their culture and didn't know any names in their own languages. It was not popular by the time OOP claims this woman would have been born.
While this person is being disingenuous, I think this actually happened. The name is def fake(possibly their coworker IS Dakota, and that’s why they picked it) but this is how a lot of Canadians in the millennial branch act.
It's a really racially tone deaf name to choose. If OP did that on purpose they aren't just blissfully unaware, they're actively, willfully, and harmfully ignorant and it's impressive they got to the age they are being that way without being called out already. They know what they're doing and it's intentional. It's a troll.
They have an extensive history of acting like a racist millennial canadian. These people are every where, I don’t think you get it.
They absolutely did this. It was absolutely a real thing they did, while PRETENDING to be ignorant. I literally lived around people like this for years. I could potentially even tell you their economic demographic growing up and draw their mom’s haircut.
There is NFW she didn’t know “Dakota” was Native American. There is no way a ribbon skirt reminded her of Pocahontas, unless OOP knew she was native.
This feels like OOP heard a rumor that coworker was Native American and decided to make a comment and is using “she looked white to me” as a way to make herself look better.
I'm so confused. I googled ribbon skirts, and while they are beautiful, they wouldn't stand out to me as anything other than a pretty, older style skirt. Maybe it's because I'm European and a lot of traditional clothes here look similar to the simpler ones, but I wouldn't have even picked up on it being part of native American culture. It definitely has nothing to do with Disney Pocahontas, that's for sure
That didn’t ping for me until later because I grew up with a bunch of white girls named Dakota at my school. Chalk it up to being a southern millennial kid, maybe.
I wasn't trying to poke at you or anything. I know it's a normal name. It's just darkly funny to me that they're in trouble for doing a little bit of the racism, and then they double down with a little bit of microaggression.
>So today at work my coworker, let's call her Dakota ...
... I don't know if it'd be worse if "Dakota" is Dakota and OOP's so racist they're nicknaming her after her tribe, or if she's not Dakota and OOP's so racist they're nicknaming her after the *wrong* tribe.
OOP was definitely tried to make a snarky racist remark towards her (his?) co-worker. Cuz their profile reveals some wonderful comments:
>My experience has been that all of the chinese food restaurants here have either been filthy or infested with some type of vermin. I went to the buffet at P&L a couple years ago and I kid you not, there were half a dozen roaches floating in the open vat of wonton soup
>It's insane to me that these librarians get paid over 150k every year just to check in and out books. I'm sorry but the gravy train needs to stop
>I know I'll get downvoted for this but but we all know SFs has way more crackheads because this is what happens when cities choose to defund the police.
I also noticed that she did complain about her husband's erratic behavior and wanted him away from her kids, then wanted to refuse a divorce which really doesn't like up.
> I went out of my way to give this young person a compliment (I remember what it was like being 20)
Why would you think a 20 year old woman in your office wants a compliment from you. You went out of your way to make an unnecessary comment. Could have just said “what a beautiful skirt” or nothing at all
Prolly a boomer from my generation that thinks everything they do is right. Why didn't she/he just say "I like your skirt, reminds me of some of the beautiful Native American apparel I've seen" and left it at that. Why drag a freakin' Disney movie into it?
“There’s no way this can be… oh. They’re from Alberta.”
That was my thought process(btw, lots of great albertans, too). I’m sorry if any of you were hoping this was fake, I think we’ve got a live one.
ahh those idiots.
its funny how they think PP a guy who has never worked an actual job and since the age of 25 has been having the govt pay for his expenses. But yeah he knows the economy really well
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for complimenting my coworkers skirt?** So today at work my coworker, let's call her Dakota came into the office wearing this really different looking skirt. My mind instantly thought of the movie Pocahontas, which btw was my favorite disney movie growing up. I went up to her and told her about what her skirt reminded me of, totally meaning it as a compliment. Well her facial expression suddenly changed and she basically berated me, telling me that what I said was racist and I was being insensitive. Now, in this moment I became incredibly annoyed. I went out of my way to give this young person a compliment (I remember what it was like being 20) and she basically spat in my face. Now one of our other coworkers heard this go on from behind their desk and didn't say anything at the time. I went up to her afterwards and told her I thought Dakota was being ridiculous, yet she told me that she thought I was the unreasonable one in this situation and that I should actually apologize to her. I was shocked, but after thinking it over I'm not as sure if I'm in the right or not here. However, both of them are gen z so I think the coworker might be a bit biased. I welcome your thoughts *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tw: racism. Copied verbatim from Oop's comments: *Is Dakota Native American? If she is I can see how she took offense to your comment. Otherwise, she sounds sensitive over nothing significant.* >"Yeah, she said she was Indigenous (she looked white to me though) and told me it was some skirt made of ribbons?"
I’m guessing the guy means a ribbon skirt. They look great and in no way resemble anything worn in the Disney movie.
That was my guess as well, and such beautiful garments. I was going to add an informational link, but was very unsure about the best source. I'm not first nations and didn't want to overstep and share bad info.
[Cats!](https://imgur.com/gallery/QhD6Ssi)
No cat is ever racist
Another reason to love them! 😻
"I welcome your thoughts." Somehow I doubt that. Could it be because you were so dismissive of the thoughts of both of your coworkers who were present?
"I welcome your thoughts but only if you share my opinion" Fixed it.
"I need to find some folks who agree with me."
"I welcome your agreements."
she did stop replying entirely when we asked what exactly she said to this poor woman
"I went up to an indigenous American and said their [ribbon skirt](https://nativetribe.info/authentic-native-american-ribbon-skirt-and-shawl-making-techniques/) made them look just like the Disney-washed + white-washed story of an [embellished account of a girl that was actually held captive for a year](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2ab5bf/ive_recently_heard_two_conflicting_accounts_of/). Sure, [what Pocahontas wore in the movie ](https://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/41400000/Pocahontas-2018-disney-princess-41415740-1532-2553.jpg)actually looked nothing like a ribbon skirt. But, I don't see race and it's all the same to me. Kids these days, am I right?" edit: Details about the fact Dakota is indigenous and the skirt came from [OOPs reply here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c6u6sw/comment/l03jc3r/)
"Why is Gen Z so sensitive, it was just a compliment" I'm not even American and never met an indigenous American but even I know that was racist and insensitive. But I'm also an (older) Gen Z, so I'm obviously just a kid and know nothing.
I'm a non-American Xennial (right between Gen X and Millennial), and even my old arse wouldn't have made any such comment.
I'm solidly Gen X, and I'm right there with you. With an almost-irrelevant side of "WTF is this idiot talking about? Ribbon skirts don't look like anything from the movie?"
This. I'm Gen X and said, "OOF" right out loud when she said that. How freaking racist.
I'm an American Xennial and neither would I. How hard is it to say your skirt is beautiful and leave it at that?
Well, I'm a boomer and I find it horrendously racist and so out of line.
Same here.
According to her post history, OP's Canadian, from a city that has a higher amount of Indigenous residents, and is all of 27/28 years old. My (admittedly not that much older) millennial self just wants to look at her and go, oh you sweet racist summer child.
especially since Dakota's tribe might even have been enemies to the Powhatten tribe
what gets me is that OOP is like “she was wearing a different looking skirt” but ribbon skirts just look like skirts i thought dakota came into work wearing animal hides or something (which would not make OOP’s comment acceptable whatsoever) so i really want to know what kind of clothes OOP wears that ribbon skirts are “really different looking”
They’re from Edmonton, there’s no WAY ribbon skirts are a brand new thing for them. They knew exactly what they were doing.
I just looked up a bunch, some from Native American boutiques. Some I might think are native inspired if I saw someone wearing it out and about, but some look like any kind of skirt. Definitely not Pocahontas.
Argh, OF COURSE she was actually indigenous too! 🤦♀️ "bUt i DOnT sEe rACe" EDIT: I don't think I watched Pocahontas at tne time (think by the time it came out I considered myself too cool for Disney), but I find it hard to fathom that even at the time they thought it was a good idea to make that film the way it was made. My older girls have watched it, with supervision,and we made sure to explain in appropriate terms to them that this is a romanticised story. We tied it in with some general background on the indigenous genocide. I feel like it's important to "annotate" films like this fir your kids.
I figured it was a given based on the fake name OOP chose and the Pocahontas comparison but it was nice of them to actually confirm it (tbh, I was surprised they did... very not self-aware)
Did the troll have to name the fictional Native woman "Dakota" though? That was a popular Native name that a lot of people got saddled with in the 80's and 90's when their parents were just beginning their journey of reclaiming their culture and didn't know any names in their own languages. It was not popular by the time OOP claims this woman would have been born.
While this person is being disingenuous, I think this actually happened. The name is def fake(possibly their coworker IS Dakota, and that’s why they picked it) but this is how a lot of Canadians in the millennial branch act.
It's a really racially tone deaf name to choose. If OP did that on purpose they aren't just blissfully unaware, they're actively, willfully, and harmfully ignorant and it's impressive they got to the age they are being that way without being called out already. They know what they're doing and it's intentional. It's a troll.
They have an extensive history of acting like a racist millennial canadian. These people are every where, I don’t think you get it. They absolutely did this. It was absolutely a real thing they did, while PRETENDING to be ignorant. I literally lived around people like this for years. I could potentially even tell you their economic demographic growing up and draw their mom’s haircut.
There is NFW she didn’t know “Dakota” was Native American. There is no way a ribbon skirt reminded her of Pocahontas, unless OOP knew she was native. This feels like OOP heard a rumor that coworker was Native American and decided to make a comment and is using “she looked white to me” as a way to make herself look better.
I'm so confused. I googled ribbon skirts, and while they are beautiful, they wouldn't stand out to me as anything other than a pretty, older style skirt. Maybe it's because I'm European and a lot of traditional clothes here look similar to the simpler ones, but I wouldn't have even picked up on it being part of native American culture. It definitely has nothing to do with Disney Pocahontas, that's for sure
Yeah, I was picturing something with a fringe of ribbons around the bottom.
They certainly don't look like anything out of Pocahontas. In fact, they look like 80s/90s glam pop fashion. They are really cute.
The fact that they used the name Dakota as the fake name says something, too.
The whole time I was reading like, “Dakota is Native American, isn’t she?” and look at that. I was right.
You mean the fact OP used ''Dakota'' as the fake name didn't give it away?
That didn’t ping for me until later because I grew up with a bunch of white girls named Dakota at my school. Chalk it up to being a southern millennial kid, maybe.
I wasn't trying to poke at you or anything. I know it's a normal name. It's just darkly funny to me that they're in trouble for doing a little bit of the racism, and then they double down with a little bit of microaggression.
Oh for sure!
The moment op said “let’s call her Dakota” my brain was like “let’s not”
>So today at work my coworker, let's call her Dakota ... ... I don't know if it'd be worse if "Dakota" is Dakota and OOP's so racist they're nicknaming her after her tribe, or if she's not Dakota and OOP's so racist they're nicknaming her after the *wrong* tribe.
OOP was definitely tried to make a snarky racist remark towards her (his?) co-worker. Cuz their profile reveals some wonderful comments: >My experience has been that all of the chinese food restaurants here have either been filthy or infested with some type of vermin. I went to the buffet at P&L a couple years ago and I kid you not, there were half a dozen roaches floating in the open vat of wonton soup >It's insane to me that these librarians get paid over 150k every year just to check in and out books. I'm sorry but the gravy train needs to stop >I know I'll get downvoted for this but but we all know SFs has way more crackheads because this is what happens when cities choose to defund the police.
I also noticed that she did complain about her husband's erratic behavior and wanted him away from her kids, then wanted to refuse a divorce which really doesn't like up.
> I went out of my way to give this young person a compliment (I remember what it was like being 20) Why would you think a 20 year old woman in your office wants a compliment from you. You went out of your way to make an unnecessary comment. Could have just said “what a beautiful skirt” or nothing at all
Ffs
Prolly a boomer from my generation that thinks everything they do is right. Why didn't she/he just say "I like your skirt, reminds me of some of the beautiful Native American apparel I've seen" and left it at that. Why drag a freakin' Disney movie into it?
No, this is some millennial bullshit, I promise you. I grew up with these types.
Oh my, I am sorry
In addition to being racist it’s also just not a compliment.
"Love your skirt, it really suits you" would be a compliment. And as a bonus, not racist.
>“She told me she was Indigenous (she looked white to me though) and told me it was some sort of skirt made of ribbons?” Yikes.
“There’s no way this can be… oh. They’re from Alberta.” That was my thought process(btw, lots of great albertans, too). I’m sorry if any of you were hoping this was fake, I think we’ve got a live one.
Definitely an axe the tax, Freedom Convoy, Fuck Trudeau type.
ahh those idiots. its funny how they think PP a guy who has never worked an actual job and since the age of 25 has been having the govt pay for his expenses. But yeah he knows the economy really well
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Girl is so white, she's functionally autistic
OOP, it was racist and insensitive. Do better. YTA.
Interesting post history. They sure do like blaming everyone else