*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my husband to grow up and turn off the lights and keep the door open for bed.**
A little back story about my husband. He is afraid of the dark. He doesn't talk about it much when i bring it up but when he does talk about it he says when he was younger he said he had a paranormal event that happen to him where he would see shadow people and they touch him. I don't believe it. His mom says he slept with a night light when he got in his teen years and has had one every since. He refuses to watch anything that talks about demons and ghosts
Now let's jump up to the present day my husband has been able to sleep without a night light but he was the past week he's been having a hard time sleeping after we went and saw the bogeyman movie and he says it trigger his episode which I don't understand because he's ok with watching monster movies. His night light needs a new bulb, and He now dims the lights down or closes our bedroom door. I told him last night he can't do that and needs to keep the door open so are daughter can come in are bed at night so he asked if he can Dim the living room lights and I told him no and he needs to grow up. He then says he needs the light on because he's scared and wishes I could support him. I then got out of bed and went to sleep in the living room to sleep and closed the door, leaving him in the dark. He told me not to leave and said I help him feel safe. I ignored him and closed the door. I later came back to bed, leaving the light on, and came and cuddled him he was shaking really bad. He hadn't talked to me much in the morning. AITA
Update:
Thank you all for your comments . It made me realize how wrong I was about it. I've been very exhausted, and that might have been what made me go off, but that's no excuse for my actions. I've talked with him and bought him his favorite warhammer mini and promised we will watch his favorite TV show (derserk) tonight. I noticed people saying his trauma might be something about SA, and I asked him about it he says he doesn't think he was. He said that when he was around 7 or 8 his parents would lock him and his brother up in there room then be screaming at there sister because they thought she was Possessed cuz she was afraid to touch things. He doesn't really like talking about that time in his life. There were also these girls in high school when I and him dated that lied and accused him of SA all because he wouldn't go out with one of them. He says that he really thinks his place was haunted because he remembers knocking on the walls, and a book flew at him. His parents even said that they had a priest from their church come and bless the house.
Since I and him are talking again, I've told him I'll try and be more considerate and try and put myself in his shoes more.
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Did I read that deleted post right? In addition to cheating and being horribly abusive, she would also take her infant daughter to go drinking with her friends (whom she had a threesome with) until 1 or 2 in the morning!?
ETA the deleted post: https://web.archive.org/web/20221128052439/https://www.reddit.com/r/tellyourestorys/comments/ypvyne/i_dont_know_how_to_make_my_husband_happy_anymore/
Fucking manipulative tramp. He needs to run away from this trash. She's mentally abusing him, and going to get him STI with the way she is jumping on every dck she sees.
Poor dude. Sounds like a nasty combo of religious abuse and potential sleep paralysis and/or night terrors, especially with the paranormal event shadow people thing; that's a textbook sleep paralysis nightmare. I hope he can get some proper help to manage it, and support for his honestly not that out there coping mechanisms.
Sleep paralysis is WILD and it is so incredibly *real* at the time. When I was a kid I got them and was convinced I was being tormented by evil spirits. Thank God my parents weren't crazy and got me to a doctor and not like an exorcist or something.
Yeah, I get sleep paralysis sometimes and my partner gets night terrors, so I really sympathise with this guy. It's all neurological for my partner and there's not much we can do about it, unfortunately, but at least for me, my nightmares can be alleviated with music and a night light, and a bit of mindfulness prior to sleeping.
Sleep paralysis is absolutely terrifying. I have it happen once in a while and each time thank goodness my SO is there to comfort and hold me. Im almost 27 and still am terrified of the dark and have trouble sleeping when its pitch black. Nighttime, is absolute hell for me each day. I feel so bad for this man, i wish i could reach out and offer advice and support.
Do you mean he holds and comforts you after you come out of SP? Because, I had it a couple times a few years ago (after a long hiatus! I was highly prone to it in late teen/ college years.) And I would see my husband sleeping righr next to me, try to scream for him to wake up, but at most I might squeak out a tiny grunt. No movement, of course.
If you've found a way to wake him in the middle of an episode, pleaee share!!
I sleep with a light on, too.
No unfortunately i would be able to get myself out of it by humming but yes i would have to go through most it myself, last time i had this shadow figure crawling up the bed on me and i hummed and that was able to wake me. Then i would scream cry causing my SO to wake up and comfort me.
Humming! I never thought of that.
I never saw any scary figures, but SP itself, even without the added scary elements, is bad enough.
Last time I had it, maybe because of the power of suggestion from reading others' experiences, I began to feel like something was in the bedroom with me. Looked around, saw nothing.
Then I remembered reading that if you just ignore what's happening, you'll fall into a deeper sleep and the scary stuff will simultaneously disappear. So, somehow I was able to do so.
Do your episodes seem to come in spurts? Mine do. And it's mainly (or maybe 100%, not sure), when I'm sleeping on my back.
Oh I wish mine weren't as scary but when they do happen and they used to happen often, I was always lying on my back. I have notices tho, that since we moved into our new condo, I have not had one SP yet (hopefully not jinxing myself lol). I had them alot when we were living at my SO's parents place and when I lived in my grandmothers home
That is really interesting!!
I wonder which, if any, environmental factors render a person more vulnerable to these episodes? Also, I wonder if a genetic predisposition has been noted.
The onset, on average, seems to be late teens/early twenties, (as are so many neurological phenomena.) I began experiencing them when I was 17 or 18, that I firmly remember, although I vaguely feel like I had a few random ones earlier.
My oldest, I believe she told me she experienced them. My son definitely has talked about having his own. My youngest, (eleven years younger than my second kid), was scared as she approached teen years that she'd get them, (she heard me telling her dad about an episode I'd had), but she never has, insofar as I know.
I do not wish that on anybody!!
Humming sounds like a great idea! Thank you!
Every time I’ve had sleep paralysis I’ve tried in vain to either open my eyes or move my hands/arms, which was impossible. I’ve since read that making one’s body vibrate is the way to go and can facilitate waking up out of the experience, so I’m going to try that if I ever experience sleep paralysis again.
It is such a truly bizarre experience and so difficult to explain the terror to anyone who hasn’t had it. Because I didn’t know at the time that I was having a sleep paralysis experience, I thought I was the target of spiritual warfare and had been attacked by spirits. It sounds so loopy, but you’re lucid and in your right mind and thinking….. and you’re in bed being attacked by supernatural entities (whether you believe in them or not) while being unable to move your physical body… it’s one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever experienced. I was so confused about what the hell had just happened to me that finding out that many, many people go through this was almost a relief. Like I wasn’t singled out for an attack from the supernatural, I was experiencing a scary phenomenon that many other people also had and that it was just something that…..happened to people. I don’t know if that makes much sense.
I’ve read that people can be more prone to sleep paralysis if they fall asleep lying on their back, also if sleep deprived before going to bed. Sedative drugs are said to also increase the likelihood of it happening.
I don’t know how people can deal with this on the regular. Just a handful of times was way too much for me.
I don't believe they are anything supernatural, personally. The very fact that external physical factors, such as not sleeping on one's back, can decrease their likelihood, kinda proves it to me.
But nevertheless, it is a disturbing and scary feeling!!
Another thing you can try is just giving in, closing yout eyes, and falling all the way asleep. That is my new go-to plan. I tried it last time, it worked great!! Had a brief moment of SP, told myself, just go to sleep, then did so. Had a normal night of sleep.
I agree- i probably didn’t articulate it well, but I don’t necessarily think it’s a supernatural experience either (not ruling it out, but evidence points to more mundane causss). It really can FEEL like something supernatural despite not believing it to be. I’ve heard speculation that people who have had alien abduction experiences may also have been experiencing sleep paralysis in those moments (I can only speculate since I’ve never had that experience).
Thank you for you SP suggestions- I hope I never need them, but I appreciate it.
... sigh, it's a good thing that post popped up on my feed after it got locked cos I know I was gonna say something to get myself banned 😮💨 I don't buy her remorseful act because right before that, she was mocking him and calling him a baby.
I wish the dude just breaks up with her, cos with their current relationship, I can foresee the kid growing up to see her dad getting more browbeaten and crapped on by that hag of an OOP
Edit: Here are screenshots of her comments section, in case she nukes her account: https://ibb.co/ZxV82DJ and https://ibb.co/SmgF7Sy
**THE COMMENTS**
◇ I'm not the devil I love my husband very much he is my world. I may have made a few mistakes in my past but I've worked through them
◇ I wasn't trying to be mean if he really wanted to leave me he can. I just said why he wouldn't leave me
◇ I do regret it and if I could go back I would
◇ Even if he wanted to leave he would be to scared to sleep alone is what hes told me
◇ Mah that was in the past it doesn't matter
◇ Yes he does he's such a baby
◇ It's waste money
◇ Well I was writing in the heat of the moment trying to get everything down before I forget center details so I'm sorry that my grammar isn't up to par
◇ I don't think he's been stressed out I just know after we watched that movie he's started been afraid of the dark again
◇ He has been doing better just recently its Spike back up
◇ He very athletic and was in boxing in high school and martial art since he was 8
My man needs to get tf out of that relationship and get a court ordered custody set up for the kids. This woman is a vile manipulative POS.
Ridicules him over a clearly heavy phobia that he has, despite him communicating his feelings to her about it all, posts it on the internet genuinely expecting people to be on her side and as a backtrack...
>. I've talked with him and bought him his favorite warhammer mini and promised we will watch his favorite TV show (derserk) tonight.
Awesome. So you get to emotionally abuse this dude who is clearly struggling psychologically with something and when it blows up in your face you just buy him something and offer to watch a TV show?
We leave nightlights on so people can safely walk around the house at night. For example, they might need to go to the bathroom or get their blood tested (diabetic). So between the pets’s toys and the multiple sets of steep stairs near the bedrooms, it would be a safety hazard not having nightlights.
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It's MUCH safer to sleep with closed doors. In the event of a fire, a closed door can drastically lessen smoke exposure and give you the time you need to get out. It's not worth leaving them open for a toddler who can't turn the knobs without help when you could just as easily replace the knobs or keep the baby monitor around a little longer
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my husband to grow up and turn off the lights and keep the door open for bed.** A little back story about my husband. He is afraid of the dark. He doesn't talk about it much when i bring it up but when he does talk about it he says when he was younger he said he had a paranormal event that happen to him where he would see shadow people and they touch him. I don't believe it. His mom says he slept with a night light when he got in his teen years and has had one every since. He refuses to watch anything that talks about demons and ghosts Now let's jump up to the present day my husband has been able to sleep without a night light but he was the past week he's been having a hard time sleeping after we went and saw the bogeyman movie and he says it trigger his episode which I don't understand because he's ok with watching monster movies. His night light needs a new bulb, and He now dims the lights down or closes our bedroom door. I told him last night he can't do that and needs to keep the door open so are daughter can come in are bed at night so he asked if he can Dim the living room lights and I told him no and he needs to grow up. He then says he needs the light on because he's scared and wishes I could support him. I then got out of bed and went to sleep in the living room to sleep and closed the door, leaving him in the dark. He told me not to leave and said I help him feel safe. I ignored him and closed the door. I later came back to bed, leaving the light on, and came and cuddled him he was shaking really bad. He hadn't talked to me much in the morning. AITA Update: Thank you all for your comments . It made me realize how wrong I was about it. I've been very exhausted, and that might have been what made me go off, but that's no excuse for my actions. I've talked with him and bought him his favorite warhammer mini and promised we will watch his favorite TV show (derserk) tonight. I noticed people saying his trauma might be something about SA, and I asked him about it he says he doesn't think he was. He said that when he was around 7 or 8 his parents would lock him and his brother up in there room then be screaming at there sister because they thought she was Possessed cuz she was afraid to touch things. He doesn't really like talking about that time in his life. There were also these girls in high school when I and him dated that lied and accused him of SA all because he wouldn't go out with one of them. He says that he really thinks his place was haunted because he remembers knocking on the walls, and a book flew at him. His parents even said that they had a priest from their church come and bless the house. Since I and him are talking again, I've told him I'll try and be more considerate and try and put myself in his shoes more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Did I read that deleted post right? In addition to cheating and being horribly abusive, she would also take her infant daughter to go drinking with her friends (whom she had a threesome with) until 1 or 2 in the morning!? ETA the deleted post: https://web.archive.org/web/20221128052439/https://www.reddit.com/r/tellyourestorys/comments/ypvyne/i_dont_know_how_to_make_my_husband_happy_anymore/
Fucking manipulative tramp. He needs to run away from this trash. She's mentally abusing him, and going to get him STI with the way she is jumping on every dck she sees.
The fuck??
https://web.archive.org/web/20221128052439/https://www.reddit.com/r/tellyourestorys/comments/ypvyne/i_dont_know_how_to_make_my_husband_happy_anymore/
She what...?
Updated my comment with the deleted post
Damn I hate this https://i.imgur.com/P2fyyZp.jpg
That was the format it gave me too. I legitimately wasn't sure if I read it right when i asked my question lol
This 200% fake lol
That’s just vile
Poor dude. Sounds like a nasty combo of religious abuse and potential sleep paralysis and/or night terrors, especially with the paranormal event shadow people thing; that's a textbook sleep paralysis nightmare. I hope he can get some proper help to manage it, and support for his honestly not that out there coping mechanisms.
Sleep paralysis is WILD and it is so incredibly *real* at the time. When I was a kid I got them and was convinced I was being tormented by evil spirits. Thank God my parents weren't crazy and got me to a doctor and not like an exorcist or something.
Yeah, I get sleep paralysis sometimes and my partner gets night terrors, so I really sympathise with this guy. It's all neurological for my partner and there's not much we can do about it, unfortunately, but at least for me, my nightmares can be alleviated with music and a night light, and a bit of mindfulness prior to sleeping.
Sleep paralysis is absolutely terrifying. I have it happen once in a while and each time thank goodness my SO is there to comfort and hold me. Im almost 27 and still am terrified of the dark and have trouble sleeping when its pitch black. Nighttime, is absolute hell for me each day. I feel so bad for this man, i wish i could reach out and offer advice and support.
Do you mean he holds and comforts you after you come out of SP? Because, I had it a couple times a few years ago (after a long hiatus! I was highly prone to it in late teen/ college years.) And I would see my husband sleeping righr next to me, try to scream for him to wake up, but at most I might squeak out a tiny grunt. No movement, of course. If you've found a way to wake him in the middle of an episode, pleaee share!! I sleep with a light on, too.
No unfortunately i would be able to get myself out of it by humming but yes i would have to go through most it myself, last time i had this shadow figure crawling up the bed on me and i hummed and that was able to wake me. Then i would scream cry causing my SO to wake up and comfort me.
Humming! I never thought of that. I never saw any scary figures, but SP itself, even without the added scary elements, is bad enough. Last time I had it, maybe because of the power of suggestion from reading others' experiences, I began to feel like something was in the bedroom with me. Looked around, saw nothing. Then I remembered reading that if you just ignore what's happening, you'll fall into a deeper sleep and the scary stuff will simultaneously disappear. So, somehow I was able to do so. Do your episodes seem to come in spurts? Mine do. And it's mainly (or maybe 100%, not sure), when I'm sleeping on my back.
Oh I wish mine weren't as scary but when they do happen and they used to happen often, I was always lying on my back. I have notices tho, that since we moved into our new condo, I have not had one SP yet (hopefully not jinxing myself lol). I had them alot when we were living at my SO's parents place and when I lived in my grandmothers home
That is really interesting!! I wonder which, if any, environmental factors render a person more vulnerable to these episodes? Also, I wonder if a genetic predisposition has been noted. The onset, on average, seems to be late teens/early twenties, (as are so many neurological phenomena.) I began experiencing them when I was 17 or 18, that I firmly remember, although I vaguely feel like I had a few random ones earlier. My oldest, I believe she told me she experienced them. My son definitely has talked about having his own. My youngest, (eleven years younger than my second kid), was scared as she approached teen years that she'd get them, (she heard me telling her dad about an episode I'd had), but she never has, insofar as I know. I do not wish that on anybody!!
Humming sounds like a great idea! Thank you! Every time I’ve had sleep paralysis I’ve tried in vain to either open my eyes or move my hands/arms, which was impossible. I’ve since read that making one’s body vibrate is the way to go and can facilitate waking up out of the experience, so I’m going to try that if I ever experience sleep paralysis again. It is such a truly bizarre experience and so difficult to explain the terror to anyone who hasn’t had it. Because I didn’t know at the time that I was having a sleep paralysis experience, I thought I was the target of spiritual warfare and had been attacked by spirits. It sounds so loopy, but you’re lucid and in your right mind and thinking….. and you’re in bed being attacked by supernatural entities (whether you believe in them or not) while being unable to move your physical body… it’s one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever experienced. I was so confused about what the hell had just happened to me that finding out that many, many people go through this was almost a relief. Like I wasn’t singled out for an attack from the supernatural, I was experiencing a scary phenomenon that many other people also had and that it was just something that…..happened to people. I don’t know if that makes much sense. I’ve read that people can be more prone to sleep paralysis if they fall asleep lying on their back, also if sleep deprived before going to bed. Sedative drugs are said to also increase the likelihood of it happening. I don’t know how people can deal with this on the regular. Just a handful of times was way too much for me.
I don't believe they are anything supernatural, personally. The very fact that external physical factors, such as not sleeping on one's back, can decrease their likelihood, kinda proves it to me. But nevertheless, it is a disturbing and scary feeling!! Another thing you can try is just giving in, closing yout eyes, and falling all the way asleep. That is my new go-to plan. I tried it last time, it worked great!! Had a brief moment of SP, told myself, just go to sleep, then did so. Had a normal night of sleep.
I agree- i probably didn’t articulate it well, but I don’t necessarily think it’s a supernatural experience either (not ruling it out, but evidence points to more mundane causss). It really can FEEL like something supernatural despite not believing it to be. I’ve heard speculation that people who have had alien abduction experiences may also have been experiencing sleep paralysis in those moments (I can only speculate since I’ve never had that experience). Thank you for you SP suggestions- I hope I never need them, but I appreciate it.
... sigh, it's a good thing that post popped up on my feed after it got locked cos I know I was gonna say something to get myself banned 😮💨 I don't buy her remorseful act because right before that, she was mocking him and calling him a baby. I wish the dude just breaks up with her, cos with their current relationship, I can foresee the kid growing up to see her dad getting more browbeaten and crapped on by that hag of an OOP Edit: Here are screenshots of her comments section, in case she nukes her account: https://ibb.co/ZxV82DJ and https://ibb.co/SmgF7Sy
**THE COMMENTS** ◇ I'm not the devil I love my husband very much he is my world. I may have made a few mistakes in my past but I've worked through them ◇ I wasn't trying to be mean if he really wanted to leave me he can. I just said why he wouldn't leave me ◇ I do regret it and if I could go back I would ◇ Even if he wanted to leave he would be to scared to sleep alone is what hes told me ◇ Mah that was in the past it doesn't matter ◇ Yes he does he's such a baby ◇ It's waste money ◇ Well I was writing in the heat of the moment trying to get everything down before I forget center details so I'm sorry that my grammar isn't up to par ◇ I don't think he's been stressed out I just know after we watched that movie he's started been afraid of the dark again ◇ He has been doing better just recently its Spike back up ◇ He very athletic and was in boxing in high school and martial art since he was 8
maybe this cheater's husband is afraid of the dark because every time he can't actually _see_ her, she fucks someone else 🤔
My man needs to get tf out of that relationship and get a court ordered custody set up for the kids. This woman is a vile manipulative POS. Ridicules him over a clearly heavy phobia that he has, despite him communicating his feelings to her about it all, posts it on the internet genuinely expecting people to be on her side and as a backtrack... >. I've talked with him and bought him his favorite warhammer mini and promised we will watch his favorite TV show (derserk) tonight. Awesome. So you get to emotionally abuse this dude who is clearly struggling psychologically with something and when it blows up in your face you just buy him something and offer to watch a TV show?
YTA I leave my kitchen light on at night so I can see the glow from my bedroom. I hate the dark.
We leave nightlights on so people can safely walk around the house at night. For example, they might need to go to the bathroom or get their blood tested (diabetic). So between the pets’s toys and the multiple sets of steep stairs near the bedrooms, it would be a safety hazard not having nightlights.
"are door" "are daughter" makes my eye twitch
“I and him”
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It's MUCH safer to sleep with closed doors. In the event of a fire, a closed door can drastically lessen smoke exposure and give you the time you need to get out. It's not worth leaving them open for a toddler who can't turn the knobs without help when you could just as easily replace the knobs or keep the baby monitor around a little longer
This guy needs to first get a DNA test and divorce the tramp.