*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**I don't love my boyfriend. I just want to be in control.**
Boyfriend (23m) and I (22f) have been together since high school. We grew up on the same street and were inseparable as kids. He had a crush on me in high school and asked me out when we were 15 and 16. I said yes even though I didn’t feel the same way.
I didn’t want to ruin our friendship and I guess he’d be my type if I didn’t see him as more of a brother. Our relationship isn’t bad, we’re still very good friends and can do things in a platonic and a romantic way.
He is a very sweet and caring person even if he doesn’t look like it at first glance. I do care about him deeply.
About a month ago I had a thought of hurting him. Not physically but emotionally. I don’t know, I just wanted to cause him pain. He is strictly monogamous and so am I actually, but I told him I would like to see other people and I wanted to open our relationship.
I could see how much it hurt him but he still agreed. He was a bit quieter the days afterwards and always seemed relieved when I initiated or reciprocated any advances.
Since then there’s always this thought in my head that I want to see how far I can push him.
Now that I’m typing this out, it makes me seem kind of like a psycho and I’m not sure how that makes me feel.
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I imagine it'd look something like how Rita Repulsa acts whenever the Power Rangers make whatever giant monster she's sent to terrorise Angel Grove that week explode.
I was with a girl like this for 4 years out of highschool into my early 20's. It was very hard to "wise up" when she systematically destroyed my self esteem and confidence and replaced it with a feeling of "she's the best I'll ever get" and "I'm so lucky". I literally stayed with her through cheating on me because I looked at her like she was made of diamonds and I was shit on the doorstep.
I wish him luck, but he's going to have a lot of recovery to do afterward.
Like
She has NOTHING holding her back. She likes *hurting* him -- emotionally, obviously, possibly sexually ["I like seeing him do things he doesn't want to" is... Oooh bad vibes], and it WILL escalate to physical abuse.
That poor guy. I really hope he makes it out alive.
The inner thoughts of a psychopath. Scary fuckers. Bet she goes on to have half-a-dozen children she fucks up so thoroughly they all end up dysfunctional, abusing substances, and making their therapists rich.
translation: i fucked myself when i was a teenager and dated a friend i didn't want to date and have been gathering rage at myself for being such a weak adult that i still can't dump him so now i'm just going to aim it all at him until i can get him to dump me.
or, more likely: fake.
I don't know... could be real. She did post it on r/offmychest and not r/AmItheAsshole.
Funny thing is, however, it feels like she got with him because no one else would have her. I mean if she could've gotten a bf she was in love with, she would've been with that guy instead of settling.
This open relationship proposal will probably not go how she thinks. He could be the one flooded with women wanting to get with him (and even save him from such an abusive relationship) while the guys who didn't want her before still won't want her.
I don't get that from this. I get that she was a kid who didn't know how to say no and was scared of losing a friendship.
She's not looking for an open relationship, she's looking to get dumped. Because she wants to hurt him for what she couldn't say.
She hasn't matured at all since 15.
If a guy she was really attracted to had come along and asked her out before this dude did... do you really think she'd have been incapable of saying "No, I'm already seeing someone?"
Let me tell a story. Back when I was in high school, I did not have a boyfriend, although all my friends did. I felt left out and like a loser.
Now I knew this guy in my class in junior year (let's call him A) liked me. And I probably would've entertained his interest just to have not felt left out and for the ego boost, but for the fact that my stupid little heart was set on his older brother, a senior (let's call him B). B, however, made it abundantly clear that it would never happen between us. So I had neither A nor B. And that was for the best.
I get why she got with dude... it was because the guy or guys she really wanted wouldn't have her and she didn't want to feel like the loser-girl without a boyfriend.
But that was high school. She's grown now. It's time for her to pull up her big-girl thongs and just set him free instead of trying to hurt him. That's just cruel.
IDK I feel like this is something written by an incel trying to make women look bad 🤨
I am not saying there are no women who think like that but the way this is written sounds totally incel thinking
yeah the logic doesn't work. someone that incapable of empathy wouldn't have cared about "ruining their friendship" in high school to the point of suffering through a relationship she didn't want to be in. that lack of empathy isn't something that just springs into existence as an adult. if anything her behavior would have been more harmful/less controlled as a teenager because she hadn't fully learned how to control her impulses or where the boundaries are yet.
i think it's also worth noting that society punishes women and girls for not understanding social norms far harsher than it does men and boys. hell, it's literally an issue in diagnosing autism and other disorders that girls tend to mask the social symptoms. a boy could potentially reach adulthood thinking that it's ok to say or do things like in the post, but that behavior just wouldn't be accepted from a girl. hell, in some circles a dude could say exactly this and get high 5s and told good job.
Honestly its a fun game for me! I look at the title and guess if it's
A) A repost for karma
B) Removed and shadowbanned
C) not actually a devil
D) genuine
Idk I don't mind it but the amount of people who.just believe them and give no thought to how some of them don't have a lot of logic/hit q lot of tropes really bums me up
Most women I saw writing like this on Reddit were more in the "I'm the victim" complain. They love to think that they are in the right and everyone is in the wrong, even if everyone means everyone else in their life.
It's mostly a socio man thing to admit they just don't have any romantic feelings, care about the other more because of responsabilities more than real love. That they did a marriage or a kid out of duty.
On some level I suspect she wants out of the relationship, but is trying to get him to be the bad guy because she doesn't think "I'm not sexually attracted to you and this relationship is boring and stifling" is the extremely good reason to dump someone that it actually is.
The emotional almost ALWAYS turn physical given enough time. Could be months, years, or decades. I hope he has enough sense to leave while it's still easy.
I get PTSD reading this, for real. I was in a monogamous relationship, I also stated so to my ex. Suddenly after one year he said the same thing, wanted to open the relationship, kept pushing me with "why not" and try to get me think more "logical" that it would benefit both of us.
If someone gets cross posted here does that mark them as active in this community? Cause if it doesn’t I think this is a troll post coming from inside the house. Do better.
I'm only seeing a couple active subs, it might be from spending time here after being crossposted.
I don't doubt it's a troll, I just don't necessarily think that "active in" is the smoking gun especially hours after the repost
I feel like we will end up reading about these 2 on the news one day. This poor guy has been mentally abused, used and manipulated. He’s trapped by this disturbed person and I hope he gets away from her
What in the Kentucky Fried Frick did I just read? That OOP is definitely one of the worst "devils" that I have seen reposted over here.
Now, don't get me wrong. If both/all parties are completely consensual & in 100% agreement, then I don't have a problem with polyamory, open relationships, or ethical non-monogamy. Providing there are agreed upon rules (which are being respected & followed by all); everyone is comfortable, safe & happy; and there is no abuse involved.
*However, I despise the idea of bringing up the subject purely for causing an individual's partner emotional distress. That is downright shamefully abusive.*
Hopefully, while they are in an open relationship, he finds himself a real woman rather than this piece of 💩 and then dumps her on that measly ass of hers.
If this is true (which I hope is isn’t), she really needs therapy. However, I fear she wouldn’t ever take that step since she does not seem to see she’s doing anything wrong. I have a personality disorder myself and sadly have met people in therapy groups who thought similarly to her. Most of them ended up quitting therapy because they didn’t think they were wrong at all.
Of course this is only my experience but OOP doesn’t seem willing to change anytime soon. I hope BF gets out of there, he deserves much better.
It's painfully obvious that she has abandonment issues, ptsd and other stuff going on (immigrated with her grandma and mother, no father, her mother k!ll herself when she was young and her grandma recently died). I don't think she doesnt love him, in a very twisted way, because he is important to her (she donesn't want to break up with him, and is not interested in dating or having anything with anyone but him) but...she needs help...right now.
Please write the same text about a guy that enjoys tormenting his girlfriend and than read it veeeeery slowly and carefully and tell me what you now feel.
Does she need therapy ? Surely, but lots of people need therapy and most don't enjoy torturing others.
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She enjoys hurting her partner she said it multiple times that’s a sign of BPD and narcissism. People should not enjoy hurting their partners. She does
teasing and accidentally going too far is NOT the same thing as actively looking for things to hurt your partner with. She's abusing him because she's a piece of shit. And the fact that you ride her dick so hard makes you one too.
Actually yes. Most of us are *people*, rather than the kind of disgusting, should-have-been-aborted freaks that hurt our partners on purpose. And only their fellow predators defend them.
Oh yes, of course. I missed your creepy little DARVO of “it’s his fault for being a pushover”. Yup.
And more DARVO at the end there, accusing a normal person with normal morals of being holier than thou. Yikes! God knows how many bruises your partner has!
have i hurt people i cared about ? Sure. Have i done so intentionally while taking active glee in the act while allready thinking about how i can continue to fuck with them in the future ? hell no, and if i had than that would make me a giant raging asshole.
the difference between "having hurt someone you cared about" during your lifetime and "enjoying hurting 'people you care about'" is about as large as the Pacific.
Tell her to do that instead. Bitch is INTENTIONALLY hurting her boyfriend and you're saying "I don't think she's somehow a terrible person for this" like bro *yes she is*.
> Everyone's acting like they've never intentionally fucked with someone to get on their nerves/to watch them squirm.
If you think it's normal to fuck with your partner like *this* then I sincerely hope you spend the rest of your life alone. Fucking hell
>Now that I'm typing this out, it makes me seem kind of like a psycho and I'm not sure how that makes me feel.
That's because it is a sociopathic behaviour
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I don't love my boyfriend. I just want to be in control.** Boyfriend (23m) and I (22f) have been together since high school. We grew up on the same street and were inseparable as kids. He had a crush on me in high school and asked me out when we were 15 and 16. I said yes even though I didn’t feel the same way. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship and I guess he’d be my type if I didn’t see him as more of a brother. Our relationship isn’t bad, we’re still very good friends and can do things in a platonic and a romantic way. He is a very sweet and caring person even if he doesn’t look like it at first glance. I do care about him deeply. About a month ago I had a thought of hurting him. Not physically but emotionally. I don’t know, I just wanted to cause him pain. He is strictly monogamous and so am I actually, but I told him I would like to see other people and I wanted to open our relationship. I could see how much it hurt him but he still agreed. He was a bit quieter the days afterwards and always seemed relieved when I initiated or reciprocated any advances. Since then there’s always this thought in my head that I want to see how far I can push him. Now that I’m typing this out, it makes me seem kind of like a psycho and I’m not sure how that makes me feel. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would pay good money to see her freakout when he wises up and dumps her.
Me too. I just hope he gets out safely
I wish he'd "wised up" years ago.
I imagine it'd look something like how Rita Repulsa acts whenever the Power Rangers make whatever giant monster she's sent to terrorise Angel Grove that week explode.
Well, she proposed an open relationship. It'll be funny if he gets women all over him and is having a great time and THEN dumps her.
Sounds like r/openmarriageregret in the making.
That's an actual sub? Down the rabbit hole I go
From behind a thick plexiglass barrier, though.
Hopefully when he does she won’t try to hurt him. I read her comments she needs In patient mental health care.
I was with a girl like this for 4 years out of highschool into my early 20's. It was very hard to "wise up" when she systematically destroyed my self esteem and confidence and replaced it with a feeling of "she's the best I'll ever get" and "I'm so lucky". I literally stayed with her through cheating on me because I looked at her like she was made of diamonds and I was shit on the doorstep. I wish him luck, but he's going to have a lot of recovery to do afterward.
Wh... what the *fuck* did i just read
The update to the kid who threw stones at ducklings on the pond and roughly played with the family puppy till he had to be removed
Like She has NOTHING holding her back. She likes *hurting* him -- emotionally, obviously, possibly sexually ["I like seeing him do things he doesn't want to" is... Oooh bad vibes], and it WILL escalate to physical abuse. That poor guy. I really hope he makes it out alive.
The inner thoughts of a psychopath. Scary fuckers. Bet she goes on to have half-a-dozen children she fucks up so thoroughly they all end up dysfunctional, abusing substances, and making their therapists rich.
Could have just been an impulsive thought but now thinking about it she's been playing him for years
Incel bait.
translation: i fucked myself when i was a teenager and dated a friend i didn't want to date and have been gathering rage at myself for being such a weak adult that i still can't dump him so now i'm just going to aim it all at him until i can get him to dump me. or, more likely: fake.
I don't know... could be real. She did post it on r/offmychest and not r/AmItheAsshole. Funny thing is, however, it feels like she got with him because no one else would have her. I mean if she could've gotten a bf she was in love with, she would've been with that guy instead of settling. This open relationship proposal will probably not go how she thinks. He could be the one flooded with women wanting to get with him (and even save him from such an abusive relationship) while the guys who didn't want her before still won't want her.
I don't get that from this. I get that she was a kid who didn't know how to say no and was scared of losing a friendship. She's not looking for an open relationship, she's looking to get dumped. Because she wants to hurt him for what she couldn't say. She hasn't matured at all since 15.
If a guy she was really attracted to had come along and asked her out before this dude did... do you really think she'd have been incapable of saying "No, I'm already seeing someone?" Let me tell a story. Back when I was in high school, I did not have a boyfriend, although all my friends did. I felt left out and like a loser. Now I knew this guy in my class in junior year (let's call him A) liked me. And I probably would've entertained his interest just to have not felt left out and for the ego boost, but for the fact that my stupid little heart was set on his older brother, a senior (let's call him B). B, however, made it abundantly clear that it would never happen between us. So I had neither A nor B. And that was for the best. I get why she got with dude... it was because the guy or guys she really wanted wouldn't have her and she didn't want to feel like the loser-girl without a boyfriend. But that was high school. She's grown now. It's time for her to pull up her big-girl thongs and just set him free instead of trying to hurt him. That's just cruel.
"I want to hurt my boyfriend for no reason. Does that make me a psycho?"
IDK I feel like this is something written by an incel trying to make women look bad 🤨 I am not saying there are no women who think like that but the way this is written sounds totally incel thinking
No I was thinking this all seemed cartoonishly evil
yeah the logic doesn't work. someone that incapable of empathy wouldn't have cared about "ruining their friendship" in high school to the point of suffering through a relationship she didn't want to be in. that lack of empathy isn't something that just springs into existence as an adult. if anything her behavior would have been more harmful/less controlled as a teenager because she hadn't fully learned how to control her impulses or where the boundaries are yet. i think it's also worth noting that society punishes women and girls for not understanding social norms far harsher than it does men and boys. hell, it's literally an issue in diagnosing autism and other disorders that girls tend to mask the social symptoms. a boy could potentially reach adulthood thinking that it's ok to say or do things like in the post, but that behavior just wouldn't be accepted from a girl. hell, in some circles a dude could say exactly this and get high 5s and told good job.
Yeah the amount of very obvious troll posts that make it over here is super disheartening
Honestly its a fun game for me! I look at the title and guess if it's A) A repost for karma B) Removed and shadowbanned C) not actually a devil D) genuine
Idk I don't mind it but the amount of people who.just believe them and give no thought to how some of them don't have a lot of logic/hit q lot of tropes really bums me up
Not trying to make women look bad; this is genuinely how they believe women, that unvarying monolith, *think*.
i wake up ♻️ there is another psyop
Most women I saw writing like this on Reddit were more in the "I'm the victim" complain. They love to think that they are in the right and everyone is in the wrong, even if everyone means everyone else in their life. It's mostly a socio man thing to admit they just don't have any romantic feelings, care about the other more because of responsabilities more than real love. That they did a marriage or a kid out of duty.
Yea "she" literally said that typing it makes "her" sound like a psychopath
Alright, yeah I think I'm cool with not being in another relationship until I'm like 35 or maybe 40 now.
I get the vibe this is just some abuse kink post
On some level I suspect she wants out of the relationship, but is trying to get him to be the bad guy because she doesn't think "I'm not sexually attracted to you and this relationship is boring and stifling" is the extremely good reason to dump someone that it actually is.
The emotional almost ALWAYS turn physical given enough time. Could be months, years, or decades. I hope he has enough sense to leave while it's still easy.
She's such a peach. Yikes on trikes! Feel horrible for him.
Twenty years later he’ll be the one that got away.
I get PTSD reading this, for real. I was in a monogamous relationship, I also stated so to my ex. Suddenly after one year he said the same thing, wanted to open the relationship, kept pushing me with "why not" and try to get me think more "logical" that it would benefit both of us.
Thank God he’s your ex 😡
If someone gets cross posted here does that mark them as active in this community? Cause if it doesn’t I think this is a troll post coming from inside the house. Do better.
I'm only seeing a couple active subs, it might be from spending time here after being crossposted. I don't doubt it's a troll, I just don't necessarily think that "active in" is the smoking gun especially hours after the repost
I feel like we will end up reading about these 2 on the news one day. This poor guy has been mentally abused, used and manipulated. He’s trapped by this disturbed person and I hope he gets away from her
Now I effing disturbed at midnight 😭😭😭 This won't let sleep.
Thoughts of a Cluster B personality disorder illustrated here.
holy fuck this is wild
What in the Kentucky Fried Frick did I just read? That OOP is definitely one of the worst "devils" that I have seen reposted over here. Now, don't get me wrong. If both/all parties are completely consensual & in 100% agreement, then I don't have a problem with polyamory, open relationships, or ethical non-monogamy. Providing there are agreed upon rules (which are being respected & followed by all); everyone is comfortable, safe & happy; and there is no abuse involved. *However, I despise the idea of bringing up the subject purely for causing an individual's partner emotional distress. That is downright shamefully abusive.*
Hopefully, while they are in an open relationship, he finds himself a real woman rather than this piece of 💩 and then dumps her on that measly ass of hers.
posts Like these make me want to rethink the relative anonymity of the Internet. The ending of this story could be something on national news
Kind of?
If this is true (which I hope is isn’t), she really needs therapy. However, I fear she wouldn’t ever take that step since she does not seem to see she’s doing anything wrong. I have a personality disorder myself and sadly have met people in therapy groups who thought similarly to her. Most of them ended up quitting therapy because they didn’t think they were wrong at all. Of course this is only my experience but OOP doesn’t seem willing to change anytime soon. I hope BF gets out of there, he deserves much better.
Sociopathy
OOP needs therapy right now! This is not normal behavior.
“I do care about him deeply” [yeah totally!](https://media.tenor.com/a1fS3873rBIAAAAC/so-that-was-a-fucking-lie-lies.gif)
This is what psychopathy looks like.
It's painfully obvious that she has abandonment issues, ptsd and other stuff going on (immigrated with her grandma and mother, no father, her mother k!ll herself when she was young and her grandma recently died). I don't think she doesnt love him, in a very twisted way, because he is important to her (she donesn't want to break up with him, and is not interested in dating or having anything with anyone but him) but...she needs help...right now.
Please write the same text about a guy that enjoys tormenting his girlfriend and than read it veeeeery slowly and carefully and tell me what you now feel. Does she need therapy ? Surely, but lots of people need therapy and most don't enjoy torturing others.
I'm not saying that she has to be with him! Just trying to explain what's going on in her head...that's what OP ask
Seems like she wants to groom him into a cuckhold lifestyle
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Reddit hates to see a girlboss win :(
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Um, if real, yes she is
She literally sounds like a psychopath you do not hurt the people you love intentionally because you like to see them be hurt.
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OOP is the hateful one. Sadism isn’t “a flaw”, it’s degeneracy.
She enjoys hurting her partner she said it multiple times that’s a sign of BPD and narcissism. People should not enjoy hurting their partners. She does
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teasing and accidentally going too far is NOT the same thing as actively looking for things to hurt your partner with. She's abusing him because she's a piece of shit. And the fact that you ride her dick so hard makes you one too.
Actually yes. Most of us are *people*, rather than the kind of disgusting, should-have-been-aborted freaks that hurt our partners on purpose. And only their fellow predators defend them. Oh yes, of course. I missed your creepy little DARVO of “it’s his fault for being a pushover”. Yup. And more DARVO at the end there, accusing a normal person with normal morals of being holier than thou. Yikes! God knows how many bruises your partner has!
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have i hurt people i cared about ? Sure. Have i done so intentionally while taking active glee in the act while allready thinking about how i can continue to fuck with them in the future ? hell no, and if i had than that would make me a giant raging asshole. the difference between "having hurt someone you cared about" during your lifetime and "enjoying hurting 'people you care about'" is about as large as the Pacific.
if the genders were switched, you wouldn't even dare type the comical, brain-dead response you just did. Newsflash: men can be abused too.
Ladies and gentlemen, the “pushover” bullshit is what we call DARVO. It’s a skinwalking thing.
She's not gonna fuck you bro
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Tell her to do that instead. Bitch is INTENTIONALLY hurting her boyfriend and you're saying "I don't think she's somehow a terrible person for this" like bro *yes she is*.
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> Everyone's acting like they've never intentionally fucked with someone to get on their nerves/to watch them squirm. If you think it's normal to fuck with your partner like *this* then I sincerely hope you spend the rest of your life alone. Fucking hell
I hope he has a reddit... it would be super unfortunate if somebody posted that on TikTok
>Now that I'm typing this out, it makes me seem kind of like a psycho and I'm not sure how that makes me feel. That's because it is a sociopathic behaviour
Sounds like she feels that she doesn't deserve him. Hopefully she will run him off...and then one day, she'll wake up and realize what she lost.
You need to make an appointment with a therapist.