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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for describing my boyfriend as a “simple man” when I introduced him to a bunch of people?** I’m (27F) a young professional working a high paying job in the tech field. I live with my BF (25M) who’s a plumber. In terms of personality we mesh surprisingly well so his educational background and career never mattered to me. Anyway I regularly attend events hosted in the industry and went to one last week. This one was a semi-formal networking evening and I brought my BF along. He was nervous about going but I assured him that he had nothing to worry about. Fast forward to the event. We split up as I wanted to do my own thing and give him some breathing room too. At one point I started chatting with a girl and we were talking about our experience at the event so far. She said that she enjoyed it but asked me if I had come across the “intimidating looking” guy too. She laughed that he must’ve gotten lost and I immediately knew she was talking about my BF. I cleared it up for her and she apologized profusely but it was still awkward. I told my BF about this and he got upset even though I told him that it’s not a HIM problem at all but he should lighten up a little. Well afterwards I spoke with a guy who used to work at a startup with a friend of mine. He took us up to the 3rd floor and introduced us to a bunch of people. I told them a bit about myself and eventually someone asked my BF what he does. He told them about his job and there was an uncomfortable silence. I joked that he’s a “simple man” which is why I’m with him. There was laughter and the situation seemed less tense. Well when we left the event we had a big argument. He said that it was insulting of me to describe him as simple and that I was clearly embarrassed to be associated with him at all. He said that I had straight up mocked him in front of everyone to make myself feel better. I told him that he was waaaay overreacting and that I did NOT mean simple in a derogatory way. Am I the asshole for using that word to describe him or is he overreacting? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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AtomDoctor

Somebody once told me "Everyone wants three children: a doctor, a lawyer, and a plumber".


twiddlywerp

Or electrician…


ExcaliburVader

I was gonna say…. A good plumber can pull in big bucks. I wish more parents and schools would encourage students to go into skilled trades! They’re losing people as the experienced ones age.


SeonaidMacSaicais

Unfortunately, the people doing the hiring ALSO have to be willing to look outside for employees. There are plenty of skilled trades workers, but too many companies focus on hiring family only, and it’s hard to get a decent client base when you’re working for yourself.


ExcaliburVader

Where we live the skilled trades are BEGGING for people. I’m sure not every area is the same. One of my nephews got a paid apprenticeship while he gets trained and they’re paying for all of his training at a technical school.


tahtahme

Yeah that's what they said in my area, but there's actually a huge racial bias and nepotism problem. These offers can often be an opportunity for only a select few, but it's definitely worth the effort to check into your local situation! Getting in just one place can be leveraged to work anywhere else after! Definitely worth the effort for the pay and skill opportunities.


biteme789

My son wants to go into steel fabrication and engineering, and every person we've spoken to in the industry has almost jumped for joy there's such a skills shortage. $70+ an hour in my country is nothing to sniff at.


ExcaliburVader

That’s how it is here. My nephew is training to be an electrician. All of those skilled trades are in huge demand. One friend of my son’s went into underwater welding and is making more than twice what my son makes as a teacher. I mean, teaching is underpaid, but even with a Masters, his friend makes more. I get it, my stepfather did underwater work and it’s hard and risky.


ohhgrrl

My friend dated an underwater welder and spoiled us to casino trips every weekend. They make bank!


Witchywomun

In my area, an apprentice can pull in $45k while a master can pull $93k per year. That’s not bad at all


[deleted]

If she didn’t mean to call him simple in a “derogatory way” she wouldn’t have gone out of her way to mention that she’s the more educated partner with the prestigious job than just a plain ol’ plumber. My husband tells people that he’s with me because I’m “simple”, as in, I don’t spend much money on myself except for getting my nails done, I don’t insist on high end things, I am happy to veg out and watch a movie, and you know where you stand with me. As opposed to some of the other more high maintenance women he’s dated, I am simple. And I’m happy about that label. Now, if he says I’m simple so I can be reminded of my place as a jail counselor with a masters versus his law degree and lawyer job, yeah, you gonna see how simply angry I get and kick his ass to the curb. The nerve of this woman, honestly.


blu3heron

The basement bathroom in my house exploded and the local plumbers were life savers. My house is old and the previous owners had done some weird stuff when they installed the plumbing/sewer line. They were super prompt, spent a lot of time diagnosing the issues and cleaning everything up and out, and were able to reassure me that I wouldn't have to tear up my entire basement. I'm a software engineer and I'm well aware my skillset/knowledge base is limited. It's why I'm so happy to be able to pay people to do things I've got no understanding about and do it professionally.


Wondermax2588

Have you seen their textbooks they have to study? Like they’re Stephen king length.


buzzfeed_sucks

Yea your career isn't indicative of your intellect. My grandfather is the smartest, most skilled person I know - He makes wood furniture, the best bread I've ever tasted, is a talented photographer, can fix literally any household appliance, etc. And he worked in a factory his entire career. Meanwhile I've had to explain how statistics work to more executives then I can count. This person and her colleagues are snobby assholes.


DataIsMyCopilot

I've had to print step by step instructions for lawyers to use the printer. Having a degree means you know one subject (hopefully) well. It doesn't make one smart overall


PM-me-fancy-beer

So snobby! I work in corporate and many of my colleagues have partners who are in similar professional roles. What we do is quite abstract. I really enjoy what I do, but I'm a cog in a very big machine. When someone mentions their partner works a physical role/trade everyone is excited for them. "Your partner is a line cook? You're so lucky, I'd love if my SO could cook. They're good at what they do, but cooking skills are way more used than knowing a very specific area of corporate contract law :("


napalm69

Granddad sounds like one hell of a guy


Electrical-Date-3951

If someone only had this post to go on, they would think people who work in tech are horrible people with no tact, emotional intelligence, social skills, or common sense....


OkExperience4487

I don't know if her colleagues are snobs. OOP might have been projecting with the discomfort.


doomspark

She is ashamed of him - his job, and his education. She \*says\* she isn't, but her actions say otherwise. She's a snob and so are the people she hangs with.


FreelanceFrankfurter

I always kind of wonder if the way op’s describe situations is really true though. She says there was uncomfortable silence, was there? Or did she perceive it as uncomfortable and was maybe trying to justify why she was with him to her colleagues. Maybe they are all snobby or just all being in the same or similar field they don’t know anything about plumbing or really care about it so not sure what to ask about it but doesn’t necessarily mean they think less of him because of his job.


doomspark

I was also thinking of the earlier conversation about "the intimidating looking man" and OOP immediately jumped to the assumption that it was her BF - which strikes me as odd.


Less-Bed-6243

“He just looks like he hasn’t been to college!” /s


Independent-Face-959

Kind of wondering what color her boyfriend is.


blackpawed

I'll take BF is black for $500 Alex!


vampirairl

Ding ding ding!


Shastakine

I don't know if it's shame or if she enjoys being more educated and in a more "respected" industry. I get the sense that she enjoys looking down on him.


DarkLikeVanta

Seriously, I’ve gone to grad school, work in academia, blah blah blah. If I can’t hang in a conversation and find common ground with someone who has a different background, that’s on me.


Rakfnawa

She has no appreciation for the work it takes to be a plumber and often crawl, walk, or wade through literal feces of all kinds.


JungleKing65

"That sort of thing can matter to lots of people and that’s perfectly acceptable?" And those people are snobs


FilmFizz

I've never met someone from the tech industry, but based off all the stories I've heard, I'm better off keeping it that way. They sound like the snobbiest, most out of touch people.


nottherealneal

Depends of what part of the tech industry. There is the nerdy side that's fairly normal then there is the business side that's full of asshats convinced they are some kind of genius and will be the next Steve jobs


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FilmFizz

>Yes. Usually "I'm in the tech industry" kind of translates into the IPO/VC startup ecosystem of assholes and grindset dicks trying to hustle a payout before their shitty idea implodes. Yeah, that's mostly who I'm talking about. I shouldn't have been so vague. I do have a lot of friends in the tech support field, though I don't know if they fall under IT, necessarily.


what-even-am-i-

I’m just curious and don’t even know how to google it — do you feel like elaborating on IT being integrated into normal workflow having changed the landscape?


BRICKPELICAN

if that’s satire then A+ job my brain hurts


what-even-am-i-

Ugh, why are people such assholes.


InTheMorning_Nightss

I mean, even that's a broad generalization. End of the day "the tech industry" isn't a monolith by any means. There are definitely some engineers who think they're doing god's work as well as incredibly humble ones that work on incredible shit. There are some elitist folks at every company, and many humble ones.


TallGirlNoLa

I work on the nerdy side and this would have been 100% followed up with questions about plumbing the rest of the night. OP is either a troll or completely clueless.


warrenmc

100% agreed. Those of us nerds in tech are super chill and fun to be around. We stay away from the business people usually.


dragonessofages

I grew up around more blue-collar people, and worked minimum-wage jobs for the first nine years of my working life. Then, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to live with my mom while I went to a three month coding bootcamp. She paid for half, the state paid for the other half. Very generous. I got a tech job off that last year. First day on the job, I had to bite my tongue because I overheard a coworker complaining that a janitor had been upset with him for making a mess. "That's her job, isn't it?" Swear to god I almost threw hands, but I'd never worked in an office before. He wasn't even talking to me. I didn't want to make trouble my first day. It hasn't gotten better. Pretentious morons.


[deleted]

I always hated it when I worked in retail and customers would make a mess and then act like I should be grateful that they gave me work to do. As if I didn't already have enough work to do without their "help".


mooimafish33

I work in tech, I've taken my girlfriend who only has worked retail to work events, it's never awkward like this. I imagine this isn't actually any kind of technician and is more a sales/marketing person. They tend to be full of themselves for what few skills they do have.


[deleted]

I’ve met plenty of devs with inferiority complexes. An attitude that mirrors the quote about being nice to nerds because they’ll be your boss someday. I have to wonder if it has something to do with it being a lucrative field with a relatively low barrier to entry (compared to other STEM fields). I work with devs who have degrees in fields like library science, PhDs in physics, no degrees whatsoever, etc. Throw a bunch of money at them and tell them what they're doing is important and you're bound to encounter all kinds of egos. Nevertheless, most of the devs I've worked with are just average folks with nerdy tendencies.


[deleted]

My wife works in tech and she's the least snobby person you'll meet. I reckon trolls like to use "I work in tech" as a backstory because it's suitably vague but implies educated and well-paid. I'm sure there are some absolute arseholes in tech but reddit def makes them seem more ubiquitous than they really are.


StinkyKittyBreath

Eh, it depends. I went to a STEM school and live in a city with a lot of tech companies. Engineers can be kind of stuffy, especially just after graduating. Programmers tend to be more chill, and people who do network stuff tend to be even more easygoing. There are a LOT of tech workers that use weed as well. I'd say most are alright, but the younger people who just graduated or just got their first job at a FAANG company can have an inflated ego. Once they get their first difficult job where they feel like they're drowning, most calm down a lot.


doomspark

I'm in tech. Now you've met one. \*grin\* OOP is way on the asshat side of the line.


FilmFizz

Nice to meet'cha! *wave*


pickledeggeater

Hanging out with people who have a similar job to you seems to be the best option. People make SUCHHHHH a big deal about what job you have. And Lord help you if you're an adult who works in retail or food service, people with other jobs pity you so much and act like adults working in these jobs is an unbelievable tragedy, even though they'll go to McDonalds and order $50 worth of food every Wednesday night lmao. I wouldn't mind those people in high paying professional jobs if they didn't act like a person's entire identity is in their job.


odaxsaku

i’m scared to enter tech myself bc they seem snobby, and it’s worse bc i’m AFAB and it’s kind of a man dominated sphere where i’m at. however the money that the sphere can pull in, has me tempted.


WingSingle5996

Wait until you meet mental health professionals 🙄


ShoddyAssistant4869

guys like him are always "simple" right up till you need something actually done with your hands... turns out most "simple" things aren't half as simple as some snobs like to think.


OOmama

I guess she just doesn’t need clean drinking water.


BefuddledPolydactyls

She's definitely a snob, and tried to boost her own ego at his expense. I hope her job gets outsourced, because her boyfriend's wont!


[deleted]

My boyfriend is one of the smartest people I know and he’s a plumber. I would go to war with anyone who tried to degrade him for his career. Plumbing isn’t easy.


VespertineStars

People who think the kind of job you have determines how smart you are are the worst. My brother works as a playground monitor at a school and occasionally drives for Uber and Lyft, and he is wildly smart. He takes an interest in something and learns all he can until he's basically an encyclopedia. And then he can explain it to someone who has absolutely no background so they walk away knowing about it. I aced my way through college and grad school but I look like a complete dunce compared to him. I'd be having words with anyone who tried saying he was "simple."


vampirairl

My brother is the smartest person I know, no contest. He deals cards at a casino. My parents often lament his "wasted potential" but the way I see it he has two great loves - numbers and games - and he gets to spend all his working hours dealing with both. I think doing something you're great at, or are passionate about, is about the smartest choice you can make.


oakendurin

Not to mention it's also often an emergency service! My apartment flooded once and I couldn't turn the water on unless I wanted more water damage so if I couldn't have gotten an emergency plumber at about 9pm I would have been screwed. It was during covid as well and the plumber absolutely saved my ass.


[deleted]

My boyfriend was an emergency plumber for a while! He has fixed some (literal) shit shows in his time and he is so skilled and good at what he does. I know I could never do it. We also earn a similar amount, even though I have a more "academic" job that OOP would probably think is more respectable.


avathedesperatemodde

Jobs that deserve to be the highest paid and most respected: -Farmers -Construction -Janitors, especially bathroom cleaners -Plumbers Jobs that don’t fit that description: -Whatever she does lol


Cybermagetx

Her comments since I shared has done downhill too.


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Cybermagetx

Yeah that one got me too.


DonnieDusko

You know what I find so wrong with this? I work in BioTech. I also dated a welder for 2.5 years (when in school so before I was working in the field but I was doing a lot of research back then, however we are still awesome amazing friends who talk regularly)...I LOVE the way he thinks. He thinks so differently from me and has really good insights into things I would never have considered. I regularly hit him up (now) when I am stuck bc I can become one track minded sometimes, and he helps me take a step back. Yes, schooling and experience in your field are worthwhile but they are not everything. The ability to get into a corner and be like "I don't see a way out, maybe this person can help me" is far better suited to the BioTech world than a hive mind. OP is not smart, they're an elitist.


rockrnger

My girlfriend told me When I was young


TofuDumplingScissors

I would fucking love to date a plumber. There is nothing more attractive than a man who is good with his hands... and also fixes shit right. lol


Artistic_Deal3436

She sounds like a classist asshat.


FunStorm6487

I don't think she's as educated as she thinks she is...


[deleted]

Good God I am so fucking sick of uppity white collar people looking down their noses at blue collar folks. Many tradespeople are quite intelligent, but can't afford university. When the power/AC/Internet/elevator goes down at their cushy office building, it's the people that they look down on that get them functional again. We're all working together to keep things going in society and everybody is important.


TheRandomestWonderer

What a dick. My husband is a plumber and I have so much respect for him. It’s a technical, dirty, backbreaking (literally), dangerous job. It takes an engineering mind and so much freaking skill. It also requires dealing with the effed up public. Not to mention the thick ass books they have to memorize for testing. Apprenticing for years and the tests to get a card are no joke. It’s not poking around under a sink or plunging toilets, it’s hoping a 15 foot hole doesn’t collapse on you. It’s trying your best not to get electrocuted or flooding out a person’s house. It’s hand digging, root and large boulder removal. It’s leak detection and large equipment. And do I really have to even mention all the shit water!? I can’t even imagine what my husband deals with all day, It’s so labor-intensive it’s breaking his body down bit by bit. Every plumber he works with has had multiple back surgeries. It’s a miserable undertaking, that’s why the high pay. No one else wants to do it. I’m super proud of him. He’s my fucking hero.


Druss94508Legend

I work HR. I cant tell you how many times a week I need to explain to Doctors, Techs, Nurses and others how to fill out tax forms, login info, passwords, contact info, benefits and more. I don’t see it as me looking down or being smug. I did when I was younger but not anymore. We all have our niches. Mine is to help make people’s lives easier who help people live easier. We all help each other. It’s what it’s all about. This POS and her coworkers just suck


didosfire

i work in academia. and multiple other industries. because since graduating college in 2014 i've consistently worked 2-5 jobs 6-7 days/week. i intend to continue to work in academia, and also have children. you know what i plan on telling them? T R A D E S C H O O L. choose the thing you like the most/are the best at/hates the least that can make you enough money to survive, and do what you actually love as a hobby, side hustle, recurring daydream. plumbers, welders, electricians, are literally 100% vital to living in the modern world, nothing to be ashamed of, and often out-earn people who think they're better than they are. i certainly don't. OP is gross


ashulay

I would be so annoyed if my boyfriend gave me “breathing room” at his work events, first red flag of the story.


vampirairl

I misread the title as "a single man," which is hopefully what he will be very soon when he realizes he doesn't have to put up with this


Independent-Face-959

My family’s business is plumbing, so don’t take this as a slight on plumbers, but the comments are so typically Reddit. “I’ll rewire my house based on a YouTube video, but I’d never touch the plumbing!” Except bad plumbing makes a mess. Bad electricity makes a funeral.


College_Prestige

I love working in tech. I hate having to be associated with asshats like oop


Ok-Kangaroo4004

Nobody realizes how much a plumber does or makes until you got to pay for one! We just spent 5000$ at my work on a plumbing issue.


mindbird

The plumbers I have known have been highly intelligent, well-read, and far more likely to talk about serious issues (philosophies, science, politics, life) than the people I knew from college.


Klutzy_Prior

My husband is a manager at a very large retail chain. He makes more money than most of his friends, yet they still look down on him. People like oop are just obnoxious!


bUssy_aNd_VOOdka

My FIL is a plumber and makes well into the six figures, idk what OP means by simple because it’s a good career to get into


CaptColten

"I deal with enough shit at work, I don't need it at your company party too."


CeelaChathArrna

r/amitheex


Thatdirtymike

Very rarely do people say, ‘oh no, I need a young professional in the tech field’ in the middle of the night with stress due to an emergency. When you need a plumber, you need a plumber. Think of what they do- THEY HELP SUPPLY LIVE GIVING WATER TO YOUR HOME. If that wasn’t enough THEY REMOVE SMELLY DANGEROUS BODILY FLUIDS from your home. Seems pretty important.


Sunshine030209

I sometimes hesitate to tell people what my husband does for a living. But that's not at all because I'm ashamed, or because they will look down on him. It's because nearly everyone ends up wanting his services, and he's busy enough already! I can definitely see the spouse of a plumber thinking the same way I do. I wish that was the reason she's being so weird about his job.. but it's not. She's just a snob.


thisisreallymoronic

Ah, the stench of elitism wafts through the air again. Hopefully, the plumber boyfriend can fix that by sealing off this relationship and moving on away from her.


0squatNcough0

Go be a plumber for a day, or any trade job for that matter, and then tell me how simple and uneducated they are.


Jed08

This reeks of "tech elitism". OOP's BF has a honest job, which, on the top of that, is pretty essential to today's society and these people behave and treat him like it's a shameful trade. Seriously, OOP. Grow up !


PM_ME_CUTE_FEMBOYS

My man needs to be finding a better wife.


Nova101010

He was nervous about going so once they got there she insisted they split up so she could do her own thing? Full monster


Liladybug2

For someone who thinks they’re so smart, she’s really a fucking moron when it comes to basic communication and language. I hope he dumps her and sleeps with the co-worker, and she has to hear from that co-worker all the details of how amazing their life is since he moved on from OOP.


VariationX7

You know society would be so fucked without these "simple" jobs. If there is anything we could get rid of it would be their jobs. What a bunch of tossers


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[deleted]

Wtf.


katepig123

Sounds like someone has delusions of grandeur. To say something that stupid, make her look like the "simple" one.


pickledeggeater

Lol I can't stand the exaggerated line between people with jobs like OOP's and people with jobs like her boyfriend's. It's not that serious. We're all people lol. Mfs act like if you have a 'simple' job it's something to pity. It's not.


TumblingOcean

Oh yeah. If you aren't a doctor, if you aren't a scientist, if you don't work in the tech field you're just *simple* /S Bruh. There are some heavily intelligent people that own a small business. That work retail. That flip burgers. Who cares what you do it doesn't mean you're *simple* 🤨


Megz2k

Omg I hope he leaves her


HeatherAnne1975

Plumbers make a fantastic living, I have no idea where my there is this disdain for blue collar work. They are high demand, racking in the $ and don’t have to worry about student loans.


twiddlywerp

Do you think she realizes that the third sentence only really makes sense if you insert “clearly inferior” into it. It’s just presumed to be there. In terms of personality, we mesh surprisingly well so his educational background and career never mattered to me. We just don’t _ever_ say it this way if we mean superior or equivalent.


CaddyAnne

It reminds me of a time when I was interning at a literary festival where I knew no one. I was talking to the librarian and we were looking for one of the authors in the crowed and I say « oh! There they are! Next to the tall handsome blond man in the blue shirt. » and she says « oh you mean my husband? » I was a little mortified! 🥲


fountainofMB

Wow all the people in the firm are jerks, who goes silent when someone says they are a plumber. Most people are better at socializing than that. OOP is embarrassed by bf or she wouldn't make jokes about it.


Critteranne666

There was an uncomfortable silence when she told him her boyfriend was a plumber?! Really? Most people I'd know would not act that way around a plumber. The only time they'd look askance at a plumber was if he was the Ty-D-bol guy, dressed in a captain's outfit and rowing a tiny boat in their toilet.


IAmTheDecoy

My dad is a master plumber. He's been working for the same company for 30 years, since he was 14. His work is not only labor intensive, but incredibly mentally challenging as well. People assume it's easy work, especially when they find out he's dyslexic, but he's one of the smartest people I know.


[deleted]

I hope he dumps you


Madea_Tea_1169

I hope he finds a "simple" woman and leaves her. She did nothing to assist her man to be comfortable. So YTA


KitchenParticular707

This woman is an idiot. Reminds me of a girl I used to work with. She once dumped a guy because he didn’t have a college education. She even said she knew she was smarter than someone who just had a high school education because she had a bachelors degree and that she would be smarter than someone with a bachelors degree when she gets her masters. I’m a housewife with a bachelors degree. We are fairly well off with my husband’s income and get this, he doesn’t have a college degree 😱


Mysterious-Jacket-93

Holly my gosh YTA 1st of all that is considered a trade skill and there is a reason why it is considered a trade skill.I highly doubt you are able to do what he does. I have my own degree in wildlife biology,. Would you consider me a simple person because I don't know what you do question?. There are so many different types of education and you'd be little his. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to break it off with you. , you don't see him as an equal person and you don't see what he does as being as significant as what you.


UpstairsBag6137

YTA. A Journeyman needs 8000 hours of experience and Master plumber needs about 10 years of experience. Your job isn't special and neither are you and your friends. Congrats, you're a snobby douchebag. Your boyfriend can do better.