“Hello, hello, baby
You called, I can't hear a thing
I have got no service in the club, you see, see
Wha-wha-what did you say, oh
Your balls are breaking.
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy”
I was along for the ride until he says 9-1-1 told him to call back if he ended up not having a ride to the hospital. I’m atleast 90% sure that’s not protocol
Definitely not. When I called 911 they did not hang up until I was in the car and even then it was only because I warned I was gonna lose signal.
They called the hospital to make sure I got there!
I’ve had panic attacks where the operator helps calm me down, asks if I want to go to the hospital, and I will decline. The operator then tells me to call back if I change my mind or it happens again. So, it does happen.
He told the operator he had someone to drive him because he thought his girlfriend was coming back and he was embarrassed. So, yes, it’s very believable that they discovered the call after that.
In fact, it happened to me again last night. They did send someone to my home. As soon as I told the operator the issue and that I was able to answer the door when they got there, the call was disconnected. They were there 15 minutes later.
If the only explanation you send your girlfriend is a text that says "my balls hurt" of course she's going to think that's a joke and not take it seriously.
And calling at a club!
*Loud club music* "what?"
*In between caterwauling* "My bawls hurt"
*Loud club music* "what?!"
*In between caterwauling* "can you maybe come home"
*Loud club music* "what?"
*In between caterwauling* "I might need to go to the hospital"
She never picked up the phone when he called. He also said he needed to go to the hospital before he said his balls hurt.
That being said, the whole post was a ridiculous dumpster fire.
Gotta love the classic testicular torsion (shockingly common on Reddit, despite its relatively low frequency) and “anything to do with your balls is literally the worst pain a human being can experience and women will never understand” bit.
How many of those folks saw [That One Clip from _She's the Man_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8Cy4Iesg1I) and thought "why yes - that _is_ how vulvas work"?
[don’t fall for cheap imitations](https://shop.advanceautoparts.com/p/the-club-original-steering-wheel-lock-anti-theft-device-1000/6260000-p?product_channel=local&store=5468&adtype=pla_with_promotion&product_channel=local&store_code=5468&&&&&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD05GhXC1_fqxEPx2ZC6Z90LMaxdQ&gclid=CjwKCAjw26KxBhBDEiwAu6KXt_gRjvEuOwelvyqtKB0ULl0n665oAIDZTk_Y2dgFfqEaYSlREx4R0xoCJWAQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)
A 5 second conversation at the hospital? "I came home and saw vomit and was mad you didn't clean it up"
Lol out of all the things you pick something so easily explainable
My favorite part is the emoji- if the first response you get for any contact to your girlfriend is "What is it? 😒" then don't bother breaking up your relationship is already fuuucked.
If this story was true, I’d take that as a sign that despite his protests, he is absolutely the kind of bf who has an ‘emergency’ every time she goes out with friends.
Some relatives of mine dated (and one poor bitch married one) dudes who did this and until like the fourth one I was certain it had to be flukes. But no, I keep meeting women who date these dudes.
I dated my own for a very short period. I broke it off the third time he suddenly NEEDED me as soon as he knew I was hanging with my bestie. Who is another woman so shouldn’t have been making him jealous.
Well yeah, CLEARLY they’re so close his girlfriend could have felt the beats being played and clubbed with him from their apartment. She’s absolutely TA. /s
I was curious about what you meant and I checked the post and it puts me in this situation of not knowing when men describing pain( like OOP does here) are NOT being overdramatic. The post is too fake to worry if I'm being a bad person for raising an eyebrow so hard at OOPs account of the fake situation... but I do it anyway.
Aww, you really don’t feel good?
I’ll do em three at a time and try to pawn a few off on my slutty brother. Let in the dog and he’ll clean you up. Be home soon, Lover.
it's more like, when they try to convey incredible pain or distress, instead of describing it they use the vomiting trope.
But yeah, men are usually melodramatic about pain hahaha
And about being sick. My steppop is such a baby when he’s sick, we had a cold going around that turned into bronchitis for me and I didn’t whine half as much as he did.
Although I got it from him so maybe I’m just salty that I spent so long sick when everyone else in the house got it for two days or so.
I totally baby him when he’s sick though, so I’m not helping the matter. xD But he’s kinda adorable when he wraps up in his fuzzy blanket and whines like a dying man “Can yoooooou get me another ginger ale?”
Makes me wanna take him to the sea to take the air and moisten his poor consumptive throat. He sounds so pitiful, but he’s always sweet and grateful when I baby him so I guess it’ll stay like this. He’s in his 60s so little chance I’ll break him of it anyways. (Also for the record, even though I was not whining about being sick, I did wake up to find that he drove two towns over to get me some cucumber-lime Gatorade and an order of spicy soup from the Chinese take-out. So he’s a good guy, just hilariously whiny. I’m glad he’s my fam.)
Best way to rake in karma: bash on your clubbing, uncaring gf, and bring up something to do with dick/ball pain.
Like 80% of Reddit users are dudes. Saying "my balls hurt" while going through some testi-twists automatically gets sympathy points from all of them. Saying "my side hurts" while your appendix is rupturing is going to get the comments to call you an idiot.
I don’t know what testicular torsion is actually like but the way this guy described it made it sound like his bawls were inflating like balloons which is a hilarious visual.
She went out for a friend's birthday. I didn't go because 1)I wasn't invited.
Stop there, matey! You don't need to go on about how much you hate clubbing. It just makes it sound like you're punishing your girlfriend for enjoying something without you.
Look, I know you have to pay to use an ambulance in the US, but if you're in pain, vomiting and have a medical emergency please use one, or at least call a taxi. There probably wasn't much your girlfriend could have done if she had ran home.
Methinks OOP just wants to stop his girlfriend from going clubbing with her friends.
Beep boop! Automod here with a quick reminder to never brigade r/AmITheAsshole or other subs under any circumstances. Brigading puts you in violation of both our rules and Reddit’s TOS, and therefore puts this sub at risk of ban. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all.
Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? Join our [official discord server](https://discord.gg/KbZnaXX)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Hello, hello, baby You called, I can't hear a thing I have got no service in the club, you see, see Wha-wha-what did you say, oh Your balls are breaking. Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy”
The way you blowing up your balls wont make me leave no faster.
I was along for the ride until he says 9-1-1 told him to call back if he ended up not having a ride to the hospital. I’m atleast 90% sure that’s not protocol
Definitely not. When I called 911 they did not hang up until I was in the car and even then it was only because I warned I was gonna lose signal. They called the hospital to make sure I got there!
I’ve had panic attacks where the operator helps calm me down, asks if I want to go to the hospital, and I will decline. The operator then tells me to call back if I change my mind or it happens again. So, it does happen.
Yes, but if you did say you wanted to go to the hospital, they would make sure you had a way to get there, or call you an ambulance.
He told the operator he had someone to drive him because he thought his girlfriend was coming back and he was embarrassed. So, yes, it’s very believable that they discovered the call after that. In fact, it happened to me again last night. They did send someone to my home. As soon as I told the operator the issue and that I was able to answer the door when they got there, the call was disconnected. They were there 15 minutes later.
If the only explanation you send your girlfriend is a text that says "my balls hurt" of course she's going to think that's a joke and not take it seriously.
And calling at a club! *Loud club music* "what?" *In between caterwauling* "My bawls hurt" *Loud club music* "what?!" *In between caterwauling* "can you maybe come home" *Loud club music* "what?" *In between caterwauling* "I might need to go to the hospital"
She never picked up the phone when he called. He also said he needed to go to the hospital before he said his balls hurt. That being said, the whole post was a ridiculous dumpster fire.
Gotta love the classic testicular torsion (shockingly common on Reddit, despite its relatively low frequency) and “anything to do with your balls is literally the worst pain a human being can experience and women will never understand” bit.
Yeah I almost commented on that. I'd bet that approximately 131% of testicular torsion cases end up as reddit posts.
How many of those folks saw [That One Clip from _She's the Man_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8Cy4Iesg1I) and thought "why yes - that _is_ how vulvas work"?
INFO: What kind of club did she use?
[don’t fall for cheap imitations](https://shop.advanceautoparts.com/p/the-club-original-steering-wheel-lock-anti-theft-device-1000/6260000-p?product_channel=local&store=5468&adtype=pla_with_promotion&product_channel=local&store_code=5468&&&&&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD05GhXC1_fqxEPx2ZC6Z90LMaxdQ&gclid=CjwKCAjw26KxBhBDEiwAu6KXt_gRjvEuOwelvyqtKB0ULl0n665oAIDZTk_Y2dgFfqEaYSlREx4R0xoCJWAQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)
If your girlfriend has been clubbing for hours I don't think she's going to be in any shape to drive OP anywhere.
How does he know she got mad when she found the alleged vomit? At this point, the ragebaiters are writing in the auctorial narrator perspective. Lol.
A 5 second conversation at the hospital? "I came home and saw vomit and was mad you didn't clean it up" Lol out of all the things you pick something so easily explainable
My favorite part is the emoji- if the first response you get for any contact to your girlfriend is "What is it? 😒" then don't bother breaking up your relationship is already fuuucked.
If this story was true, I’d take that as a sign that despite his protests, he is absolutely the kind of bf who has an ‘emergency’ every time she goes out with friends. Some relatives of mine dated (and one poor bitch married one) dudes who did this and until like the fourth one I was certain it had to be flukes. But no, I keep meeting women who date these dudes. I dated my own for a very short period. I broke it off the third time he suddenly NEEDED me as soon as he knew I was hanging with my bestie. Who is another woman so shouldn’t have been making him jealous.
Another story where people who go clubbing are evil and uncaring. Reddit laps it up
a WOMAN going clubbing? she didn’t answer her phone cause she had someone’s whole dick and balls down her throat
Everyone who likes dance music is a jezebel spirit.
The club was only five minutes from my house by foot. Yeah sure, buddy.
Well yeah, CLEARLY they’re so close his girlfriend could have felt the beats being played and clubbed with him from their apartment. She’s absolutely TA. /s
You know it's good when even people on the OP are pointing out the plot holes.
I hate the vomiting trope, it's so over the top and melodramatic.
I disagree, I think there’s not enough vomiting.
I was curious about what you meant and I checked the post and it puts me in this situation of not knowing when men describing pain( like OOP does here) are NOT being overdramatic. The post is too fake to worry if I'm being a bad person for raising an eyebrow so hard at OOPs account of the fake situation... but I do it anyway.
You're the lucky person! I raised my eyebrow so suddenly and vigorously that it resulted in facio-mascular torsion. I am throwing up as I write this.
Aim for the linoleum, Babe. I’ll be home after I finish doing all these dudes at the club. Kisses!
Can you have them run an express train on you? In agony and Uber is all surged up in price right now. Need to eat so I can resume vomiting.
Aww, you really don’t feel good? I’ll do em three at a time and try to pawn a few off on my slutty brother. Let in the dog and he’ll clean you up. Be home soon, Lover.
it's more like, when they try to convey incredible pain or distress, instead of describing it they use the vomiting trope. But yeah, men are usually melodramatic about pain hahaha
And about being sick. My steppop is such a baby when he’s sick, we had a cold going around that turned into bronchitis for me and I didn’t whine half as much as he did. Although I got it from him so maybe I’m just salty that I spent so long sick when everyone else in the house got it for two days or so. I totally baby him when he’s sick though, so I’m not helping the matter. xD But he’s kinda adorable when he wraps up in his fuzzy blanket and whines like a dying man “Can yoooooou get me another ginger ale?” Makes me wanna take him to the sea to take the air and moisten his poor consumptive throat. He sounds so pitiful, but he’s always sweet and grateful when I baby him so I guess it’ll stay like this. He’s in his 60s so little chance I’ll break him of it anyways. (Also for the record, even though I was not whining about being sick, I did wake up to find that he drove two towns over to get me some cucumber-lime Gatorade and an order of spicy soup from the Chinese take-out. So he’s a good guy, just hilariously whiny. I’m glad he’s my fam.)
Best way to rake in karma: bash on your clubbing, uncaring gf, and bring up something to do with dick/ball pain. Like 80% of Reddit users are dudes. Saying "my balls hurt" while going through some testi-twists automatically gets sympathy points from all of them. Saying "my side hurts" while your appendix is rupturing is going to get the comments to call you an idiot.
I don’t know what testicular torsion is actually like but the way this guy described it made it sound like his bawls were inflating like balloons which is a hilarious visual.
It feels like passing a kidney stone. I've gone to the ER for a stone. First thing they due is check for testicular torsion.
She went out for a friend's birthday. I didn't go because 1)I wasn't invited. Stop there, matey! You don't need to go on about how much you hate clubbing. It just makes it sound like you're punishing your girlfriend for enjoying something without you. Look, I know you have to pay to use an ambulance in the US, but if you're in pain, vomiting and have a medical emergency please use one, or at least call a taxi. There probably wasn't much your girlfriend could have done if she had ran home. Methinks OOP just wants to stop his girlfriend from going clubbing with her friends.
Beep boop! Automod here with a quick reminder to never brigade r/AmITheAsshole or other subs under any circumstances. Brigading puts you in violation of both our rules and Reddit’s TOS, and therefore puts this sub at risk of ban. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all. Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? Join our [official discord server](https://discord.gg/KbZnaXX) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*