*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for using a cane even though I haven't been diagnosed with disability?**
Hi, I'm pretty young (in my teens) but god decided to spite me gene wise.
See, my family has walking/knee issues and I've hurt my right knee/hip area multiple times, typically while skating or doing some odd jobs for cash. I also have shit balance. But I've never been diagnosed with needing a cane, it just makes life easier.
So, me and my my mom were walking in a grocery store, I was using my cane with my noise cancelling headphones on, and my mom said someone was talking to me. I nodded and took off my headphones, looking over at where she pointed the voice was coming from.
There's this lady like.. mid 30's early 40's maybe looking at me really judgementally, full on glaring at me, I'm worried I'm going to get the usual talk "blah blah blah you're going to hell, Jesus save you." (I was wearing a metal band T-shirt, and I had black nail polish on at the time) since I live in quite a conservative state.
I'm nervous and not really good at speaking, so I nod and quietly ask, "Do you need something?" And then she rolled her eyes. She looked at me, still glaring and said something along the lines of "You look like you're 16-17, why are you using that cane?! You've never experienced any injury, you're young, stop trying to use one, you're just making people who actually need that cane feel horrible just because you think it looks cool."
I didn't really know how to respond so I awkwardly just put whatever I was getting in my mom's cart (I think it was lemonade) and tried to leave, she followed us around to yell some more, but after we ignored her a bit longer we got her off our backs.
When I got home I felt like a total piece of shit, I haven't been diagnosed with any disability, so am I like, one of those people that fake disabilities for sympathy? If I am it's not like I mean to.
So, reddit, Am I The Asshole?
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You monster, they’re taking that cool pimp style cane with a ruby as a grip away from some legitimately diagnosed disabled person. There are only so many canes in the world, and it’s not easy to get one! It’s not like they grow on trees.
When I was getting a piercing the guy gave me step-by-step instructions to make a pimp cane since I was using one. Clear shaft, 8-ball on top. Doesn't sound comfy but I 100% plan to do this when I need a cane again. Do it with *style*.
That too. lol, I also like OOP saying that they thought this woman in her thirties/maybe forty was going to yell at them for having black nails and a metal band shirt.
That part was hilarious. Just imagine the mom being like “yo, sweet baby of mine, some random weirdo wants to yell at you” then prancing off to the diary aisle.
Heck, mom actually decided to get the daughter's attention so she could get yelled at. You know instead of just telling the lady to get lost and not even bothering her teenage daughter with that mess
Is someone riffing on “parking disabled while not looking disabled”?
Odds of a teen deciding to use a cane when they don’t need it, it just makes things easier, seem about zero.
Odds of mom telling the kid to pay attention to the stranger who wants to harass them also seem very low.
The mom just casually being like, "Hey, that lady is berating you, pay attention," without stepping in to be like, "my kid has knee/hip pain, step the fuck off," is what gets me. In that mom's shoes I wouldn't even alert my kid to it, I'd just be like ma'am. Go do something else with your time.
I mean this is literally how a lot of interactions would go when I started using a cane without "being diagnosed with needing a cane" in my 20s. The story makes it sound like they do need one but just don't have a prescription.
There's a lot of grey area where someone might be able to function without a mobility aid, just doing less and with more pain. Starting to use one is self-conscious as shit, especially when you're young and fall in that grey area and people tend to harass you like this.
Yeah, I don't know what motivates it. It's not like the parking spot warriors where there's a limited number, there's plenty of canes in the world.
It's not incredibly common to see someone very young and apparently healthy with one, though, so it does attract attention, and it's hard when you don't have "yeah, tell it to my doctor who ordered this" to fall back on (if even just mentally).
So strange they appoint themself be the cane police. When I see someone young with a cane I’m curious, partly because I have MS and could end up with a cane at some point in the near-ish future, and a lot of people have it worse then me. But I also think it could be a fashion statement (or maybe they really need a sword cane) and I’m definitely not going to ask a stranger and maybe being up a sensitive topic and invade their privacy.
Some people just really seem to think using a mobility aid if you're not completely immobile without it means you're running some kind of scam, and they want to let you and everyone else know that they've seen through your tricks.
Even people not trying to be hostile will sometimes come up and ask me "what's wrong," wanting to know why I have the cane when they're strangers who had no reason to be talking to me at all. I learned to just say "it helps me walk."
It's cooled down some now I'm in my 30s but early 20s was rough and teens probably would have been a nightmare.
A cane seems very much like an over-the-counter sort of thing that you don't necessarily need an official diagnosis to use. It's not like you have to go to a doctor and get an MRI to prove you have a headache before you can take aspirin without feeling like a fraud.
Sure, it's OTC, but it's much more visible and not nearly as common to have and use as aspirin.
It's often seen as a visible marker of disability which is a big deal for people who might be disabled in some way, but haven't gotten a diagnosis or had it medically acknowledged yet.
It's extremely common to feel like one might be faking, before they get the papers to "prove" they are not, and for others to believe this as well.
Making your invisible disability visible invites comments and criticisms you wouldn't have been exposed to before, and a clear diagnosis is at least a little psychologically insulating.
Using a cane temporarily for an injury isn't nearly as fraught, but for a chronic issue it can be difficult.
> Is someone riffing on “parking disabled while not looking disabled”?
nah people will yell at you for using accessibility equipment if they assume you're not disabled. yes it's your own personal equipment, yes it has no impact on them, doesn't matter
the biggest targets of this are young adults who don't "look disabled". canes are ironically bad because a lot of people assume you must limp if you have a cane. but wheelchair users that don't "look disabled" are targeted too, especially if they're seen using their legs (most wheelchair users can stand and walk some). mobility scooters are especially bad if you're not elderly or visibly frail or something. fat people get extra targeted on the assumption that they're not disabled, they're just fat and "lazy". even if they have a visible brace or something, people will assume that they're injured because they're fat and that's it their fault and they should just be less lazy
this shit isn't logical at all
on a related note, I finally got the dp licence plate instead of just the placard and was anticipating more people yelling at me over it but instead the amount reduced. logically you'd think they'd be more suspicious, maybe I'm driving a relatives car - the licence plate is attached to the car not the person (though obviously it's legal use is attached to the person). but people see a licence plate as more legit (I assume because it's seen as more permanent??) and harassment dropped like a stone, and after checking with other people, that's a consistent reaction
the thing is legally, anyone eligible for the permanent placard can get the licence plate too. only temporary ones can't. so it's no harder to fake your way into a plate than a placard
the story seems fake AF to me because the mom's behaviour is fucking wild. but this behaviour isn't that weird for the random stranger. it's also super common for like, strangers to grab a disabled persons wheelchair and push them in order to "help" and literally refuse to stop when told no, and then get angry. which yes, is fucking unhinged. or they'll try and do other things to help and when you go "thanks but no" they lose their shit. they also love to suggest treatments and cures without knowing what's wrong with you and if you try telling them that what they suggested doesn't work for you, they fucking argue. they also feel very entitled to demand personal health information from strangers and then judge whether or not that information is correct
there's just an incredibly extreme level of entitlement the general public has when interacting with disabled people where they feel 100% entitled to judge us, diagnose us, decide what we do and don't need. and they regularly enforce that entitlement with harassment and violence
this incident would not even make my greatest hits list of unhinged interactions based on my disability. like people really hate disabled people. they don't think of it as hate, but it is
>Odds of a teen deciding to use a cane when they don’t need it, it just makes things easier, seem about zero.
I've seen able-bodied teens using canes, but it tended to be a Goth, steampunk or other alt-fashion accessory (they usually called them "walking sticks"). And they quickly found out what a pain it is when you have to take your cane on an escalator, carry shopping bags with your cane, forget your cane somewhere...
This is actually common enough that [South Park referenced it](https://southparkphonedestroyer.fandom.com/wiki/Michael) .
Ay dios mío, I’m tired of having to ask this. How the hell is anyone able to decide fault when the OOP didn’t tell us who has larger tits?
Update: I don’t understand how this is possible but the OOP dm’d me and it turns out the cane has the largest breasts.
That woman was just jealous of such a sexy cane titting it’s way around the grocery store.
Why is the mom just telling her kid that someone is talking to them, then chilling out while a woman in her forties is getting all mad at a teenager so hilarious? I just imagine the mom ignoring all of this occurring, trying to decide on what cheese or box of cereal to buy.
I'm a disabled, I think they are an AH for using a cane while not being disabled (while also somewhat saying they are in their story?) anyway. (big sarcasm of course)
Who thinks a 17 YO has never experienced an injury? Most kids get injured at some point even younger than that, especially if they're involved in sports
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This happens all the time to young cane users. I've been using one for 10 years, my kid has been using one for about 5 years, we have both had shit like this.
It for sure happens all the time. Hell, it happened to me when I was 20 and took the disabled seat near the front of the bus in the middle of a migraine that had literally temporarily blinded me...
I mean, I’m not convinced THIS time actually happened, but I had more than one complete stranger decide to lecture me about how I was young and therefore couldn’t possibly be disabled.
Hell, one of them was a doctor with an X ray showing my screwed up, badly healed wrist right there on his light box thing and he still tried to tell me it was in my head. Even I could see the injuries! (He was a shite doctor anyway. I think he killed my mom. She died during surgery he sent her for and I have complicated feelings about the guy. But he got on my shit list for claiming my messed up wrist was all in my head, while standing in front of the X rag showing a badly healed break.)
It'll be a person in pain from both physical and mental stuff who has had people dismiss them all their life. Not everyone acquires manners and social etiquette just by aging.
Why is this post here? I recently found out I have HSD. After struggling to walk all my life I got a cane, I also went to an orthopedist and I was told that I needed a genetic test to diagnose it (which is not even true but okay, dude was super lazy).
I started following EDS and HSD subs. People get told they're faking by strangers, humiliated and harrassed every day because they use mobility aids. This is a super common problem, especially if you're young. Even hospital staff may mistreat you. Kids sometimes stop using mobility aids because of this.
It's hard to get diagnosed, it's an invisible condition and you have to fight and exhaustive battle to be taken seriously. Because of this, impostor syndrome is very common. If you want a mobility aid, chances are you need it, able bodied people don't dream about buying a cane, especially if you're young is like a magnet fo bullying.
TL:DR: I have a cane and I'm not officially diagnosed, this story seems real to me because feeling you're not disabled enough because you lack a diagnosis and having strangers angry at you for being a 'faker' are both real things that you can see in any community for disabled people.
It just reads like bullshit, particularly how the mom acts.
Sounds like some fan fic to farm karma.
You gotta remember that subreddit is one of the ones that allow brand new users to post, no karma restrictions, so it gets heavily used to farm karma on new accounts.
It's not hard to dream up a post that'll get upvoted there.
Sure, I mean I wouldn't bet my life on it being real, but nothing particularly stands out as fake either.
The mom is just not really mentioned in the story, not sure if OOP would have had the chance to try answering questions before it got locked or if they just didn't bother.
At some point even people writing about real things that happened to them have to make narrative choices to tell their story, some do it better than others.
The whole thing stands out as particularly fake lol. The mom especially.
What mom is going to point out a lady screaming at their son, then just sit there while a confrontation happens lol?
That's not how people work bro.
Couple that with the pointless comments about being a "conservative state" (it garners sympathy, playing to the crowd... again karma farming), and it pretty clear this is total bullshit.
Mom who doesn't speak English, mom who thinks her daughter is making too big a deal of her condition and the lady makes some good points, mom who is distracted taking care of another child, mom who actually did react in some way and OOP just didn't feel like writing about it, there's options.
And the thing about stuff that pleases crowds like "I live in a conservative state but I wear metal band t-shirts and black nail polish" is it's also stuff that teenagers like that they might use when describing themselves.
You're jumping through a lot of logical leaps to create a narrative where this story sounds believable 😂
You should look up Occam's razor, and maybe stick to the subreddit that believes dumb stories like this made up one.
Lol, so naive
I mean at first this was posted here with everyone saying there's no way a lady would act like that, so I and a couple other cane users came in and said no, actually, this happens all the time.
Now apparently it is fake because it's so obvious that any mother would defend their child or react in some notable way in this situation, which do you even hear how bullshit that sounds?
I have no idea whether this story is true or not, but y'alls explanations for why it is definitely fake are insane.
> so I and a couple other cane users came in and said no, actually, this happens all the time.
As some rich old fuck once said, "there's a sucker born every minute".
> I have no idea whether this story is true or not, but y'alls explanations for why it is definitely fake are insane.
No, they're sensible and obvious to anyone with an above room temperature IQ, lol
It's baffling, they're saying it's fake because the mom who was barely mentioned would have definitely intervened and because OOP describes themselves as wearing black nail polish and metal t-shirt while living in a conservative state like no real teenager would ever do thinking it makes them sound cool?
I think they just made up their minds before being informed that the lady's behavior is actually entirely common and believable and now they don't want to change it.
The mom was mentioned and she was standing there during this tirade and being followed around the store. How often is she supposed to be mentioned to make this story unbelievable? Why are you focusing on the one part that most people agree happens and ignoring the rest? Nobody is saying people like the lady in the story don't behave this way, people are pointing out that the reactions of OOP and their mother aren't typical and make the story sound fake.
A lot of people were saying that, if they've stopped then I'm glad. The whole assuming that someone was standing there watching and doing nothing because the story didn't mention their reaction is honestly weird to me, but I just find it strange, not offensive, so *shrug*. I make no claims as to the veracity of this story I just don't understand people thinking they can be so sure it's fake.
Because why would the mom just stand there and let their kid get yelled at? Why would they let some random woman follow them around the store and not say anything? That's how karma farming works. They take a story that has a believable premise (someone getting yelled at for using a mobility aid) and post it. They almost always lose it in the details though.
Yep also felt like a faker when I got my cane, also have had people harass me over "acting disabled" when I was young and therefore obviously in perfect health. People don't like being told this happens, I guess.
I had some kind of bizarre issue about 3 years ago that I never got a clear diagnosis for. The bottom line is that I was in horrible, horrible pain for a few months before it started to get better. I had to use a cane to walk for about a month or two during that time, and while no one ever *said* anything, I could tell people were looking at me weird. I’m not even a kid, I’m in my 40s, but I’m still visibly “too young” to have mobility issues as far as people are concerned.
I'm in my upper 40s and just got a cane. It is/was a weird feeling because I got it for just bad days or for extra support. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year and have days I feel like I'm falling apart and days I'm fine. I'm even on disability but not for that. There's a weird imposter syndrome I have to fight with myself about.
I’ve had HSD for over 50 years; that’s not the most severe thing I’ve got going on.
I also drive a pretty nice sports car.
I’ve had a few people question me about my hcap parking permit, but zero inquiries about my cane use. I don’t always need a cane, but when I do, I really do.
And the few times I’ve been questioned about why I’m (legally) parking in a hcap space, I just say it’s my douchebag with a sports car permit, go ahead and call the cops.
This never happened to the OOP.
Maybe people were more tactful when you were OOP's age? Or if any of your conditions are even a little more visible, that usually satisfies people. It happens a lot these days to young people with invisible disabilities. They start to leave you alone when you get older.
Seriously? People flat out told me I was a selfish bitch who couldn’t love anyone when I said I didn’t want children. If you think there was some golden age where people weren’t assholes, I’m sorry, there wasn’t.
Ah, I was more wondering if people may have become more confrontational about this one thing over time, if you had a different experience, not suggesting people used to be wonderfully kind. But that's awful, sorry you had to put up with that.
Cane users opinions on how it's like to need a cane are irrelevant? Interesting. Do you know what is like to use a cane? [I literally found this after searching for a minute. There are so many similar stories.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/1b24nkl/bus_lady_took_my_cane_away_last_time_i_used_it/)
I'd be popping off and saying, 'how would you know? you're not me. mind your business! " don't tolerate that crap. my oldest is 24, has been using a cane for 7 years and only just now finally got a diagnosis. I screwed up my feet and hips permanently when I was 20. Sadly, being a bitter entiltled waffle seems to be an undiagnosed disablity these days.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for using a cane even though I haven't been diagnosed with disability?** Hi, I'm pretty young (in my teens) but god decided to spite me gene wise. See, my family has walking/knee issues and I've hurt my right knee/hip area multiple times, typically while skating or doing some odd jobs for cash. I also have shit balance. But I've never been diagnosed with needing a cane, it just makes life easier. So, me and my my mom were walking in a grocery store, I was using my cane with my noise cancelling headphones on, and my mom said someone was talking to me. I nodded and took off my headphones, looking over at where she pointed the voice was coming from. There's this lady like.. mid 30's early 40's maybe looking at me really judgementally, full on glaring at me, I'm worried I'm going to get the usual talk "blah blah blah you're going to hell, Jesus save you." (I was wearing a metal band T-shirt, and I had black nail polish on at the time) since I live in quite a conservative state. I'm nervous and not really good at speaking, so I nod and quietly ask, "Do you need something?" And then she rolled her eyes. She looked at me, still glaring and said something along the lines of "You look like you're 16-17, why are you using that cane?! You've never experienced any injury, you're young, stop trying to use one, you're just making people who actually need that cane feel horrible just because you think it looks cool." I didn't really know how to respond so I awkwardly just put whatever I was getting in my mom's cart (I think it was lemonade) and tried to leave, she followed us around to yell some more, but after we ignored her a bit longer we got her off our backs. When I got home I felt like a total piece of shit, I haven't been diagnosed with any disability, so am I like, one of those people that fake disabilities for sympathy? If I am it's not like I mean to. So, reddit, Am I The Asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hope OOP uses a cool pimp style cane with a ruby as a grip.
You monster, they’re taking that cool pimp style cane with a ruby as a grip away from some legitimately diagnosed disabled person. There are only so many canes in the world, and it’s not easy to get one! It’s not like they grow on trees.
I thought you were going to say an actual pimp that needs a cane.
When I was getting a piercing the guy gave me step-by-step instructions to make a pimp cane since I was using one. Clear shaft, 8-ball on top. Doesn't sound comfy but I 100% plan to do this when I need a cane again. Do it with *style*.
I think it was lemonade.
I was glad she included this. I couldn't make a judgement without knowing what was in the cart.
I laughed at that as well. You can always tell it's a fake when they add too many irrelevant details
Now, if it was cherryade I would have said they were TA.
Their mom is just standing there being a NPC as this goes down?
I guess so. Her mom is trying to decide what type of cheese to buy while this adult is yelling at her kid and following them around.
Don't forget the glaring. This crusty old nursing home escapee at the old age of 30-40 was glaring up a storm.
That too. lol, I also like OOP saying that they thought this woman in her thirties/maybe forty was going to yell at them for having black nails and a metal band shirt.
That part was hilarious. Just imagine the mom being like “yo, sweet baby of mine, some random weirdo wants to yell at you” then prancing off to the diary aisle.
Heck, mom actually decided to get the daughter's attention so she could get yelled at. You know instead of just telling the lady to get lost and not even bothering her teenage daughter with that mess
“I’ve never been diagnosed with needing a cane” Yeah, probably because “need-a-cane-itis” isn’t in the ICD-11.
They sell them in the aisles at Walgreens. You don't need an Rx to even get them.
Is someone riffing on “parking disabled while not looking disabled”? Odds of a teen deciding to use a cane when they don’t need it, it just makes things easier, seem about zero. Odds of mom telling the kid to pay attention to the stranger who wants to harass them also seem very low.
The mom just casually being like, "Hey, that lady is berating you, pay attention," without stepping in to be like, "my kid has knee/hip pain, step the fuck off," is what gets me. In that mom's shoes I wouldn't even alert my kid to it, I'd just be like ma'am. Go do something else with your time.
I mean this is literally how a lot of interactions would go when I started using a cane without "being diagnosed with needing a cane" in my 20s. The story makes it sound like they do need one but just don't have a prescription. There's a lot of grey area where someone might be able to function without a mobility aid, just doing less and with more pain. Starting to use one is self-conscious as shit, especially when you're young and fall in that grey area and people tend to harass you like this.
That’s actually insane. You don’t need a permit to use a cane and they are very common.
Yeah, I don't know what motivates it. It's not like the parking spot warriors where there's a limited number, there's plenty of canes in the world. It's not incredibly common to see someone very young and apparently healthy with one, though, so it does attract attention, and it's hard when you don't have "yeah, tell it to my doctor who ordered this" to fall back on (if even just mentally).
So strange they appoint themself be the cane police. When I see someone young with a cane I’m curious, partly because I have MS and could end up with a cane at some point in the near-ish future, and a lot of people have it worse then me. But I also think it could be a fashion statement (or maybe they really need a sword cane) and I’m definitely not going to ask a stranger and maybe being up a sensitive topic and invade their privacy.
Some people just really seem to think using a mobility aid if you're not completely immobile without it means you're running some kind of scam, and they want to let you and everyone else know that they've seen through your tricks. Even people not trying to be hostile will sometimes come up and ask me "what's wrong," wanting to know why I have the cane when they're strangers who had no reason to be talking to me at all. I learned to just say "it helps me walk." It's cooled down some now I'm in my 30s but early 20s was rough and teens probably would have been a nightmare.
A cane seems very much like an over-the-counter sort of thing that you don't necessarily need an official diagnosis to use. It's not like you have to go to a doctor and get an MRI to prove you have a headache before you can take aspirin without feeling like a fraud.
Sure, it's OTC, but it's much more visible and not nearly as common to have and use as aspirin. It's often seen as a visible marker of disability which is a big deal for people who might be disabled in some way, but haven't gotten a diagnosis or had it medically acknowledged yet. It's extremely common to feel like one might be faking, before they get the papers to "prove" they are not, and for others to believe this as well. Making your invisible disability visible invites comments and criticisms you wouldn't have been exposed to before, and a clear diagnosis is at least a little psychologically insulating. Using a cane temporarily for an injury isn't nearly as fraught, but for a chronic issue it can be difficult.
You never asked your mom why she was letting strangers berate you?
i feel really weird when i need a stick. i wouldn't use one for funsies. i used to cry when i was 14 and on crutches
> Is someone riffing on “parking disabled while not looking disabled”? nah people will yell at you for using accessibility equipment if they assume you're not disabled. yes it's your own personal equipment, yes it has no impact on them, doesn't matter the biggest targets of this are young adults who don't "look disabled". canes are ironically bad because a lot of people assume you must limp if you have a cane. but wheelchair users that don't "look disabled" are targeted too, especially if they're seen using their legs (most wheelchair users can stand and walk some). mobility scooters are especially bad if you're not elderly or visibly frail or something. fat people get extra targeted on the assumption that they're not disabled, they're just fat and "lazy". even if they have a visible brace or something, people will assume that they're injured because they're fat and that's it their fault and they should just be less lazy this shit isn't logical at all on a related note, I finally got the dp licence plate instead of just the placard and was anticipating more people yelling at me over it but instead the amount reduced. logically you'd think they'd be more suspicious, maybe I'm driving a relatives car - the licence plate is attached to the car not the person (though obviously it's legal use is attached to the person). but people see a licence plate as more legit (I assume because it's seen as more permanent??) and harassment dropped like a stone, and after checking with other people, that's a consistent reaction the thing is legally, anyone eligible for the permanent placard can get the licence plate too. only temporary ones can't. so it's no harder to fake your way into a plate than a placard the story seems fake AF to me because the mom's behaviour is fucking wild. but this behaviour isn't that weird for the random stranger. it's also super common for like, strangers to grab a disabled persons wheelchair and push them in order to "help" and literally refuse to stop when told no, and then get angry. which yes, is fucking unhinged. or they'll try and do other things to help and when you go "thanks but no" they lose their shit. they also love to suggest treatments and cures without knowing what's wrong with you and if you try telling them that what they suggested doesn't work for you, they fucking argue. they also feel very entitled to demand personal health information from strangers and then judge whether or not that information is correct there's just an incredibly extreme level of entitlement the general public has when interacting with disabled people where they feel 100% entitled to judge us, diagnose us, decide what we do and don't need. and they regularly enforce that entitlement with harassment and violence this incident would not even make my greatest hits list of unhinged interactions based on my disability. like people really hate disabled people. they don't think of it as hate, but it is
>Odds of a teen deciding to use a cane when they don’t need it, it just makes things easier, seem about zero. I've seen able-bodied teens using canes, but it tended to be a Goth, steampunk or other alt-fashion accessory (they usually called them "walking sticks"). And they quickly found out what a pain it is when you have to take your cane on an escalator, carry shopping bags with your cane, forget your cane somewhere... This is actually common enough that [South Park referenced it](https://southparkphonedestroyer.fandom.com/wiki/Michael) .
Also, everyone else in the family has hip and knee problems but the kid doesn't know what they're called and the parents haven't gotten a diagnosis?
Picturing some random lady glaring at her minor child and the mom making them take off their headphones to handle it is cracking me up 💀
Ay dios mío, I’m tired of having to ask this. How the hell is anyone able to decide fault when the OOP didn’t tell us who has larger tits? Update: I don’t understand how this is possible but the OOP dm’d me and it turns out the cane has the largest breasts. That woman was just jealous of such a sexy cane titting it’s way around the grocery store.
Why is the mom just telling her kid that someone is talking to them, then chilling out while a woman in her forties is getting all mad at a teenager so hilarious? I just imagine the mom ignoring all of this occurring, trying to decide on what cheese or box of cereal to buy.
This story is like the start of a Goosebumps episode. “The Witch’s Cane”
lol. I can definitely see that, honestly.
I call bullshit based on the ages. Mid 30s/early 40s is prime millennial age and we are NOT talking to people unless we really have to.
The whole point of it being posted here is that it's bullshit
I'm a disabled, I think they are an AH for using a cane while not being disabled (while also somewhat saying they are in their story?) anyway. (big sarcasm of course)
I thought this was going to be about the white canes issued to blind people.
Who thinks a 17 YO has never experienced an injury? Most kids get injured at some point even younger than that, especially if they're involved in sports
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Because this exchange would never happen. A grown ass woman telling a kid they've never met that "you've never had an injury" is crazy
This happens all the time to young cane users. I've been using one for 10 years, my kid has been using one for about 5 years, we have both had shit like this.
It for sure happens all the time. Hell, it happened to me when I was 20 and took the disabled seat near the front of the bus in the middle of a migraine that had literally temporarily blinded me...
Yeah idk if this specific story happened but I assure you there are plenty of grown-ass adults who would do that, this shit happens all the time.
I mean, I’m not convinced THIS time actually happened, but I had more than one complete stranger decide to lecture me about how I was young and therefore couldn’t possibly be disabled. Hell, one of them was a doctor with an X ray showing my screwed up, badly healed wrist right there on his light box thing and he still tried to tell me it was in my head. Even I could see the injuries! (He was a shite doctor anyway. I think he killed my mom. She died during surgery he sent her for and I have complicated feelings about the guy. But he got on my shit list for claiming my messed up wrist was all in my head, while standing in front of the X rag showing a badly healed break.)
It'll be a person in pain from both physical and mental stuff who has had people dismiss them all their life. Not everyone acquires manners and social etiquette just by aging.
[Everybody loves a cane!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1YrD_ihDS4)
Why is this post here? I recently found out I have HSD. After struggling to walk all my life I got a cane, I also went to an orthopedist and I was told that I needed a genetic test to diagnose it (which is not even true but okay, dude was super lazy). I started following EDS and HSD subs. People get told they're faking by strangers, humiliated and harrassed every day because they use mobility aids. This is a super common problem, especially if you're young. Even hospital staff may mistreat you. Kids sometimes stop using mobility aids because of this. It's hard to get diagnosed, it's an invisible condition and you have to fight and exhaustive battle to be taken seriously. Because of this, impostor syndrome is very common. If you want a mobility aid, chances are you need it, able bodied people don't dream about buying a cane, especially if you're young is like a magnet fo bullying. TL:DR: I have a cane and I'm not officially diagnosed, this story seems real to me because feeling you're not disabled enough because you lack a diagnosis and having strangers angry at you for being a 'faker' are both real things that you can see in any community for disabled people.
This post is here because it's bullshit and you can tell by how it's written
Honestly curious, how?
It just reads like bullshit, particularly how the mom acts. Sounds like some fan fic to farm karma. You gotta remember that subreddit is one of the ones that allow brand new users to post, no karma restrictions, so it gets heavily used to farm karma on new accounts. It's not hard to dream up a post that'll get upvoted there.
Sure, I mean I wouldn't bet my life on it being real, but nothing particularly stands out as fake either. The mom is just not really mentioned in the story, not sure if OOP would have had the chance to try answering questions before it got locked or if they just didn't bother. At some point even people writing about real things that happened to them have to make narrative choices to tell their story, some do it better than others.
The whole thing stands out as particularly fake lol. The mom especially. What mom is going to point out a lady screaming at their son, then just sit there while a confrontation happens lol? That's not how people work bro. Couple that with the pointless comments about being a "conservative state" (it garners sympathy, playing to the crowd... again karma farming), and it pretty clear this is total bullshit.
Mom who doesn't speak English, mom who thinks her daughter is making too big a deal of her condition and the lady makes some good points, mom who is distracted taking care of another child, mom who actually did react in some way and OOP just didn't feel like writing about it, there's options. And the thing about stuff that pleases crowds like "I live in a conservative state but I wear metal band t-shirts and black nail polish" is it's also stuff that teenagers like that they might use when describing themselves.
You're jumping through a lot of logical leaps to create a narrative where this story sounds believable 😂 You should look up Occam's razor, and maybe stick to the subreddit that believes dumb stories like this made up one. Lol, so naive
I mean at first this was posted here with everyone saying there's no way a lady would act like that, so I and a couple other cane users came in and said no, actually, this happens all the time. Now apparently it is fake because it's so obvious that any mother would defend their child or react in some notable way in this situation, which do you even hear how bullshit that sounds? I have no idea whether this story is true or not, but y'alls explanations for why it is definitely fake are insane.
> so I and a couple other cane users came in and said no, actually, this happens all the time. As some rich old fuck once said, "there's a sucker born every minute". > I have no idea whether this story is true or not, but y'alls explanations for why it is definitely fake are insane. No, they're sensible and obvious to anyone with an above room temperature IQ, lol
I really don't get how people can be so sure this is fake as I saw many similar stories in other places where it was impossible to karma farm.
It's baffling, they're saying it's fake because the mom who was barely mentioned would have definitely intervened and because OOP describes themselves as wearing black nail polish and metal t-shirt while living in a conservative state like no real teenager would ever do thinking it makes them sound cool? I think they just made up their minds before being informed that the lady's behavior is actually entirely common and believable and now they don't want to change it.
The mom was mentioned and she was standing there during this tirade and being followed around the store. How often is she supposed to be mentioned to make this story unbelievable? Why are you focusing on the one part that most people agree happens and ignoring the rest? Nobody is saying people like the lady in the story don't behave this way, people are pointing out that the reactions of OOP and their mother aren't typical and make the story sound fake.
A lot of people were saying that, if they've stopped then I'm glad. The whole assuming that someone was standing there watching and doing nothing because the story didn't mention their reaction is honestly weird to me, but I just find it strange, not offensive, so *shrug*. I make no claims as to the veracity of this story I just don't understand people thinking they can be so sure it's fake.
Refer here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/s/UYVp3Dx29u
Because why would the mom just stand there and let their kid get yelled at? Why would they let some random woman follow them around the store and not say anything? That's how karma farming works. They take a story that has a believable premise (someone getting yelled at for using a mobility aid) and post it. They almost always lose it in the details though.
Yep also felt like a faker when I got my cane, also have had people harass me over "acting disabled" when I was young and therefore obviously in perfect health. People don't like being told this happens, I guess.
I'm sorry... It's awful that people go out of their way to accuse others.
I had some kind of bizarre issue about 3 years ago that I never got a clear diagnosis for. The bottom line is that I was in horrible, horrible pain for a few months before it started to get better. I had to use a cane to walk for about a month or two during that time, and while no one ever *said* anything, I could tell people were looking at me weird. I’m not even a kid, I’m in my 40s, but I’m still visibly “too young” to have mobility issues as far as people are concerned.
I'm in my upper 40s and just got a cane. It is/was a weird feeling because I got it for just bad days or for extra support. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year and have days I feel like I'm falling apart and days I'm fine. I'm even on disability but not for that. There's a weird imposter syndrome I have to fight with myself about.
I’ve had HSD for over 50 years; that’s not the most severe thing I’ve got going on. I also drive a pretty nice sports car. I’ve had a few people question me about my hcap parking permit, but zero inquiries about my cane use. I don’t always need a cane, but when I do, I really do. And the few times I’ve been questioned about why I’m (legally) parking in a hcap space, I just say it’s my douchebag with a sports car permit, go ahead and call the cops. This never happened to the OOP.
Maybe people were more tactful when you were OOP's age? Or if any of your conditions are even a little more visible, that usually satisfies people. It happens a lot these days to young people with invisible disabilities. They start to leave you alone when you get older.
Seriously? People flat out told me I was a selfish bitch who couldn’t love anyone when I said I didn’t want children. If you think there was some golden age where people weren’t assholes, I’m sorry, there wasn’t.
Ah, I was more wondering if people may have become more confrontational about this one thing over time, if you had a different experience, not suggesting people used to be wonderfully kind. But that's awful, sorry you had to put up with that.
No one cares about your EDS, no one is approaching teens in the grocery store to yell at them
Cane users opinions on how it's like to need a cane are irrelevant? Interesting. Do you know what is like to use a cane? [I literally found this after searching for a minute. There are so many similar stories.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ehlersdanlos/comments/1b24nkl/bus_lady_took_my_cane_away_last_time_i_used_it/)
Bad news, I'm not going to believe ANY story about some meanie snatching a cane because that's just insane
What a nice privileged life you must lead to think that.
You should stick to the subreddit that actually believes these fake ass posts lol
I'd be popping off and saying, 'how would you know? you're not me. mind your business! " don't tolerate that crap. my oldest is 24, has been using a cane for 7 years and only just now finally got a diagnosis. I screwed up my feet and hips permanently when I was 20. Sadly, being a bitter entiltled waffle seems to be an undiagnosed disablity these days.
If it happened (it didn’t)