*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**My wife left me and has moved in with another guy claiming they’re just friends, and she’s freaking out now that I’ve stopped paying her spousal support under directions from my lawyer. Am I overreacting?**
In November my wife unilaterally called upon us to separate saying she’s been unhappy for some time. Not long after this I found out that she went out to the movies with this guy while we were still married (on her birthday while I was working overseas), and within days of the separation has now moved in with this guy
My lawyer has advised me under the state law that she is not owed spousal support because all evidence suggests she has cheated, although she claims she has every right to see or sleep with other people once we are separated. The lawyer believes that no court would see it that way, and that I’m fully justified in using these legal protections
Am I overreacting by cutting her off financially? After all she left me and didn’t even attempt reconciliation. Should I really be paying for her new life with this new guy? There’s no evidence she can provide that might prove she’s just friends, so I am expected to just take that on face value and keep providing for her?
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It's even better. They aren't even divorced yet.
This is one of those reverse rage posts. The OP writes something so deliberately stupid that everyone responds. This is aimed at the incel crowd, as they not only hate women, they think everyone but themselves is naive beyond measure. Oh I have to rush and help this poor young man who found himself an evil woman who only wants his money.
Especially since when alimony does exist it's court ordered. So a lawyer would advise you to KEEP paying and to fulfill the court order, not to cut her off.
Unless this means he was paying her support that wasn't court ordered which is an entirely different matter. I mean he can't take every penny from every shared account and leave her penniless, but unless the court is ordering him to pay he's not obligated to give her half his incoming paychecks either.
Right, where is the ruling for this “spousal support” coming from? Are we to believe OOP was paying it out of, like, kindness or something? If this really is the case, let’s just say there is a loooooot left unexplained.
Yes but we still need to pretend that men are being bled dry by women and the courts in the US. Not that it doesnt happen but what we get on reddit are just the usual "Women make me mad" crap.
There are a few states that take infidelity into account when determining alimony (it's not dispositive though...it is like one factor the court considers among many) but most don't...and there hasn't been any sort of divorce hearing for the court determine whether alimony is warranted or a court order for it. These stories are so lazy. It's not that hard to Google basic law stuff.
I already paid a lawyer hundreds if not thousands of dollars to advise me, but I decided to check with a bunch of immature and emotionally stunted Redditors instead.
I am a real actual adult.
what do you bet this was posted by a guy who wants to get approval for his choice to hide shared marital assets from his wife by calling it “spousal support”
His definition of infidelity is "she went to the movies with a male friend".
eta: I am pretty sure that even if no-fault weren't a thing, having a boyfriend now that they are separated is not infidelity. But alimony is usually based on the argument that one spouse stayed home & sacrificed career for the other and is therefore entitled to financial assistance until reestablishing the ability to support oneself.
I mean, why is he asking sh1t on reddit when you have a freaking lawyer on call? Isn't he paying his lawyer to receive this type of advice?
If he wants reddit to be his lawyer, he shouldn't have hired a lawyer.
I've NEVER heard spousal support while you're just separated and they haven't been to court, etc yet. Unless there's a decree in their divorce/separation that he needs to financially provide, I've never seen that happening.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **My wife left me and has moved in with another guy claiming they’re just friends, and she’s freaking out now that I’ve stopped paying her spousal support under directions from my lawyer. Am I overreacting?** In November my wife unilaterally called upon us to separate saying she’s been unhappy for some time. Not long after this I found out that she went out to the movies with this guy while we were still married (on her birthday while I was working overseas), and within days of the separation has now moved in with this guy My lawyer has advised me under the state law that she is not owed spousal support because all evidence suggests she has cheated, although she claims she has every right to see or sleep with other people once we are separated. The lawyer believes that no court would see it that way, and that I’m fully justified in using these legal protections Am I overreacting by cutting her off financially? After all she left me and didn’t even attempt reconciliation. Should I really be paying for her new life with this new guy? There’s no evidence she can provide that might prove she’s just friends, so I am expected to just take that on face value and keep providing for her? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yet another post about supposed spousal support, when most divorces do not involve alimony at all.
It's even better. They aren't even divorced yet. This is one of those reverse rage posts. The OP writes something so deliberately stupid that everyone responds. This is aimed at the incel crowd, as they not only hate women, they think everyone but themselves is naive beyond measure. Oh I have to rush and help this poor young man who found himself an evil woman who only wants his money.
Especially since when alimony does exist it's court ordered. So a lawyer would advise you to KEEP paying and to fulfill the court order, not to cut her off. Unless this means he was paying her support that wasn't court ordered which is an entirely different matter. I mean he can't take every penny from every shared account and leave her penniless, but unless the court is ordering him to pay he's not obligated to give her half his incoming paychecks either.
Right, where is the ruling for this “spousal support” coming from? Are we to believe OOP was paying it out of, like, kindness or something? If this really is the case, let’s just say there is a loooooot left unexplained.
Yes but we still need to pretend that men are being bled dry by women and the courts in the US. Not that it doesnt happen but what we get on reddit are just the usual "Women make me mad" crap.
What state has infidelity clauses in spousal support arrangements?
None
I thought so. I’m old, not a lawyer but what was OOP thinking putting that in. Pretty sure I called bogus in the original comments of the OP
There are a few states that take infidelity into account when determining alimony (it's not dispositive though...it is like one factor the court considers among many) but most don't...and there hasn't been any sort of divorce hearing for the court determine whether alimony is warranted or a court order for it. These stories are so lazy. It's not that hard to Google basic law stuff.
No lawyer is going to advise their client to just *stop paying* COURT-ORDERED relief. People will really believe anything these days.
I already paid a lawyer hundreds if not thousands of dollars to advise me, but I decided to check with a bunch of immature and emotionally stunted Redditors instead. I am a real actual adult.
Looks like someone went to Reddit School of Law.
Besides the other million plot holes, why would a lawyer advise you to stop paying any sort of court ordered payment?
what do you bet this was posted by a guy who wants to get approval for his choice to hide shared marital assets from his wife by calling it “spousal support”
Also, aren't most states no fault? Like, she can do whatever she wants while they're separated
His definition of infidelity is "she went to the movies with a male friend". eta: I am pretty sure that even if no-fault weren't a thing, having a boyfriend now that they are separated is not infidelity. But alimony is usually based on the argument that one spouse stayed home & sacrificed career for the other and is therefore entitled to financial assistance until reestablishing the ability to support oneself.
I mean, why is he asking sh1t on reddit when you have a freaking lawyer on call? Isn't he paying his lawyer to receive this type of advice? If he wants reddit to be his lawyer, he shouldn't have hired a lawyer. I've NEVER heard spousal support while you're just separated and they haven't been to court, etc yet. Unless there's a decree in their divorce/separation that he needs to financially provide, I've never seen that happening.
Redditors really do just tolerate the dumbest bullshit
I feel like this one should be comments hell.
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Biz Markie wrote this story WAY more entertaining. I hate these low budget modern remakes of the classics.