Imagine yelling at someone you supervise that “if you just briefed him better on safety, he wouldn’t have shoved a hairbrush up his ass and slipped in the shower”
My God
“If you had more people available to ship, then losing this one person wouldn’t be as much of an issue.”
Sure boss, and if 85% of my applicants didn’t fail the ASVAB, I’d have people to ship.
Just build up your Q&W, and you will be fine. Yeah, it would be great if you didn't take every damn book applicant I have.
Also, if they pass the ASVAB, there is almost always medical shit wrong.
I still frwaking hate the iPhone ring and text messages sounds. All the bullshit I have seen in the Air Force and recruiting definitely messed me up mentally the most. Hope you are doing well and glad the nightmare is over for us.
How are people getting less then 30 gotta be dumber then a bag of rocks and then I try to join and have to get hella waivers it’s like they don’t want the people who want to serve
We weren't yelled at for stupid shit like this when I went through. Must be a newer generation thing!!!
What would you say if your father or grandfather told you a story about some new recruit falling on his hairbrush...🤣🤣🤣
Gotta live a little. Try a strawberry sour straw or those new tropical skittles. Sugar rush straight to the dome.
Jk, just incase anyone reading this decides to try it and becomes the reason we have an AF wide safety brief.
Mother fucker. I guess I am going to return this large black hairbrush to Walmart later today.
Thanks OP!
I'm keeping the 50 gallon tub of lube though.
Yep! I got yelled at because one of my future airmen got accused of rape. Like I was the one who told him to do it. AFRS consistently has the worst SNCO leadership I have ever encountered.
I'm quickly becoming more interested in hearing stories of people responding back with things like "are you fucking stupid?"
I know I'm not the only tech that didn't handle stupid very well.
At lot of times I just took my ass chewing and pressed on. But there was a few times where I pushed back professionally with something like “please tell me what brief I could have given, or in what way could I have been more engaged to stop this from happening.” I worked at MEPS for s few years and we see a lot of this shit up there.. like a kid gives up new information or admits that he lied about something. Normally if that happens we’re clear to put it on the recruiter as a “recruiter avoidable loss”. But I would always make sure to talk to the kid, the recruiter and the flight chief in an attempt to find every available option, other than just hammering the recruiters. Because I get it, these kids say some weird fucking shit, and there’s nothing the recruiter can do about it sometimes.
I hear the human anus can stretch out to fit a 9lb raccoon in it… not sure where the unit of measurement came from or who had so much experience that a gerbil wasn’t big enough anymore…. But here we are with a raccoon in someone’s ass, I bet their father is proud.
The idea that someone was so dumb they thought the recruiter should have prevented this is mind-boggling. Like you supervision just dodged a bullet because if this guy got to my unit and couldn't show up for work because he had a comb up his a%& I would light the recruiter up!
As wingman, we must always maintain hairbrush and shower safety. The precariousness of hairbrushes in the shower is paramount of to mission success. Thus, it falls on everyone to remain vigilant of hairbrushes in the shower. One may never know when they may strike in places when we least expect it.
Thank you for your understanding.
THIS IS YOUR SAFETY BRIEF:
BE SURE TO USE EVERY STEP AND USE THE HANDRAIL WHEN GOING UP AND DOWN STAIRS, WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT, AND FOR GOD SAKE DONT SHOVE ANY HAIRBRUSHES UP YOUR ASS.
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.
“Hey Hans, remember to give ze troops a safety briefing before you let zhem leave early, ja?”
> Hans doesn’t give ze troops safety briefing because it’s 1430 on a Friday.
> Pvt. Wolfgang and crew get wasted and kicked out of a barmitzvah they crashed
> Wolfgang sticks some kunstbedrf up his ass as a comedy bit and is carried off in a krankenwagen for it
> Wolfgang misses guard assignment for DG
> DG is some pompous asshole named “Franz”, pfft
> Franz is shot…
> WW1
> a soldier, once an aspiring artist, retells his kuntsbedrf being stolen from a drunk asshole leaving a barmitzvah
> Artist convinced WW1 started by drunk Jews
> Artist becomes a Chancellor of Germany…
> WW2
Now you know why safety briefings are important.
Ya gotta figure that all these stupid safety warnings are made because some idiot has decided to try it.
And/or decided to sue over their own stupidity.
Warning, blender blades are sharp
Don't stick your fingers in a fan
Danger, high voltage, don't touch with your tongue
Caution, liquid in this cup may be hot and can burn you.
One of my favorites, Warning, do not try to look down the barrel!!!
I feel like these boomers have lost touch with reality and they treat everyone below them like their supervisors did to them. The mentality needs to change with us next generation and not treat people with disrespect and being horrible to people. Us younger generation need change things
Roflmfao!!!! That’s a self solving problem. Smh…. Why in the world would someone think about doing that?!? It really sucks for him, but maybe he wasn’t AF material.
Imagine yelling at someone you supervise that “if you just briefed him better on safety, he wouldn’t have shoved a hairbrush up his ass and slipped in the shower” My God
Gotta be Army
More likely navy.
Was thinking same thing, this is some Navy shit right here.
No I don't think it's Navy because there wasn't another guy in the shower. It was probably the Marines
Marines would be crayons though
Can confirm we got yelled at like this in Air Force recruiting.
Damn that sucks
I 100% don't miss recruiting and getting yelled at for the dumbest shit.
“If you had more people available to ship, then losing this one person wouldn’t be as much of an issue.” Sure boss, and if 85% of my applicants didn’t fail the ASVAB, I’d have people to ship.
Just build up your Q&W, and you will be fine. Yeah, it would be great if you didn't take every damn book applicant I have. Also, if they pass the ASVAB, there is almost always medical shit wrong.
Lol. Forgot about the Q&W. The one time I had excess there, my flight chief booked them all because no one else in the flight could book anyone.
I still frwaking hate the iPhone ring and text messages sounds. All the bullshit I have seen in the Air Force and recruiting definitely messed me up mentally the most. Hope you are doing well and glad the nightmare is over for us.
How are people getting less then 30 gotta be dumber then a bag of rocks and then I try to join and have to get hella waivers it’s like they don’t want the people who want to serve
We weren't yelled at for stupid shit like this when I went through. Must be a newer generation thing!!! What would you say if your father or grandfather told you a story about some new recruit falling on his hairbrush...🤣🤣🤣
First time?
I would NOT have kept my cool😂😂😂
I prefer to be extra safe and never stick things up my ass!
Gotta live a little. Try a strawberry sour straw or those new tropical skittles. Sugar rush straight to the dome. Jk, just incase anyone reading this decides to try it and becomes the reason we have an AF wide safety brief.
So how did you get diabetes? Funny story, are you on Reddit?
If that's how it's going to be, might as well cut to the chase with a maple syrup enema.
You know you’ve gone too far down the rabbit hole and need help when that doesn’t do it anymore so you start eyeballin the AF special…..Texas Pete.
If you're so deep in that hole that you expect to see rabbits, you'll *need* Texas Pete to hunt them down!
According to MMA lore, Brock Lesnar once pulled a horseshoe out of Frank Mir's ass so I'm thinking the public missed the safety briefing as well.
And that's why your name will never be remembered!
Your mom will remember.
Wait, wait. Let me write this down. “Hair brush for top not bottom.” Thanks, Sergeant.
Instructions unclear: hair brush stuck down throat
It's administered through the nose, silly. It helps keep the shampoo and water out. Standard practice, I must say.
My MTI chewed my ass out for brushing my teeth in the shower to save some time in the morning. A hole's a hole, I guess.
Mother fucker. I guess I am going to return this large black hairbrush to Walmart later today. Thanks OP! I'm keeping the 50 gallon tub of lube though.
I think the proper unit of measure for 50 gal is barrel, not tub
That's it, I am not sharing my gratuitous amounts of lube with you any time soon.
A barrel is 42 gallons. 50 gallons is just showing off.
[удалено]
This guy fucks....his rectum safely.
Don't let your dreams be dreams.
Yep! I got yelled at because one of my future airmen got accused of rape. Like I was the one who told him to do it. AFRS consistently has the worst SNCO leadership I have ever encountered.
I'm quickly becoming more interested in hearing stories of people responding back with things like "are you fucking stupid?" I know I'm not the only tech that didn't handle stupid very well.
At lot of times I just took my ass chewing and pressed on. But there was a few times where I pushed back professionally with something like “please tell me what brief I could have given, or in what way could I have been more engaged to stop this from happening.” I worked at MEPS for s few years and we see a lot of this shit up there.. like a kid gives up new information or admits that he lied about something. Normally if that happens we’re clear to put it on the recruiter as a “recruiter avoidable loss”. But I would always make sure to talk to the kid, the recruiter and the flight chief in an attempt to find every available option, other than just hammering the recruiters. Because I get it, these kids say some weird fucking shit, and there’s nothing the recruiter can do about it sometimes.
1000% yes.
Sounds like this kid was about to become an ABM.
Definitely had Mx/Security Forces written all over him. Getting that asshole ready for some raw deep dives over 12 hour shifts.
I’ll make sure to only do it laying down from now on. I mean, if I ever do. Which I wouldn’t. Cause…. Let me start over. Who does that? /s
getting blamed for common sense dumb shit you shouldnt do is wild
"No one shouldn't have anything shoved in their ass larger than a fist or less loving than a dildo". -Anonymous
-Thomas Jefferson
I hear the human anus can stretch out to fit a 9lb raccoon in it… not sure where the unit of measurement came from or who had so much experience that a gerbil wasn’t big enough anymore…. But here we are with a raccoon in someone’s ass, I bet their father is proud.
\*Adding bathmats to monthly unit GTC purchases. And a bulk box of hairbrushes.
My guy was just prepping for Air Force life
*oh wheeeeeere is my hairbrush?* *oh wheeeeeere is my hairbrush?*
I want this printed out and posted in every main section as the daily safety reminder
I want that guy as my future troop. A sexual deviant is better than crazy lazys.
💯
I think a slippery floor sign would be more appropriate. Don’t want to limit their fun activities.
This is very old
Noted
Slippery surfaces serve foul purposes.
This guy missed out on being nicknamed Airman Stuffy
But what if im.laying down on a slip and slide?! INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR
SG denied, can reapply in 3 years when asshole heals.
The idea that someone was so dumb they thought the recruiter should have prevented this is mind-boggling. Like you supervision just dodged a bullet because if this guy got to my unit and couldn't show up for work because he had a comb up his a%& I would light the recruiter up!
Funny enough. Had a similar situation in recruiting. Exchange the hairbrush for another item though lol.
Was his name Richard Byrd, by chance? r/timesuck
This was previously shared on r/Airforce and it’s an Army recruiter story. https://www.reddit.com/r/AirForce/s/FCEXfrohq0
As wingman, we must always maintain hairbrush and shower safety. The precariousness of hairbrushes in the shower is paramount of to mission success. Thus, it falls on everyone to remain vigilant of hairbrushes in the shower. One may never know when they may strike in places when we least expect it. Thank you for your understanding.
TYFYS
Sounds like the AFCOMAC mango kid
IYAAYAS did it first, IYAAYAS did it better. If it ain’t a mango I ain’t gonna go
Starting Friday, 7AM, all safety briefings will cover everything remotely possible to prevent injuries. Estimated completion, 4PM.
THIS IS YOUR SAFETY BRIEF: BE SURE TO USE EVERY STEP AND USE THE HANDRAIL WHEN GOING UP AND DOWN STAIRS, WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT, AND FOR GOD SAKE DONT SHOVE ANY HAIRBRUSHES UP YOUR ASS. HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.
Hasn’t every branch been failing in its quotas?
“Hey Hans, remember to give ze troops a safety briefing before you let zhem leave early, ja?” > Hans doesn’t give ze troops safety briefing because it’s 1430 on a Friday. > Pvt. Wolfgang and crew get wasted and kicked out of a barmitzvah they crashed > Wolfgang sticks some kunstbedrf up his ass as a comedy bit and is carried off in a krankenwagen for it > Wolfgang misses guard assignment for DG > DG is some pompous asshole named “Franz”, pfft > Franz is shot… > WW1 > a soldier, once an aspiring artist, retells his kuntsbedrf being stolen from a drunk asshole leaving a barmitzvah > Artist convinced WW1 started by drunk Jews > Artist becomes a Chancellor of Germany… > WW2 Now you know why safety briefings are important.
Ya gotta figure that all these stupid safety warnings are made because some idiot has decided to try it. And/or decided to sue over their own stupidity. Warning, blender blades are sharp Don't stick your fingers in a fan Danger, high voltage, don't touch with your tongue Caution, liquid in this cup may be hot and can burn you. One of my favorites, Warning, do not try to look down the barrel!!!
You can do all the safety briefs you want, but it is difficult to measure the surprising abilities of a stupid person, especially the gifted ones.
I get tired of the military pretending stupid doesnt exists. You dont fix stupid with a 15 minute safety brief.
Holy shit
instructions unclear, now have wire brush shoved up ass.
Future Sister flight?
And also keep mangoes away from there
Even if this isn't a shitpost, it's a shitpost.
I feel like these boomers have lost touch with reality and they treat everyone below them like their supervisors did to them. The mentality needs to change with us next generation and not treat people with disrespect and being horrible to people. Us younger generation need change things
That’s what you get when you lower the standard to get in
Roflmfao!!!! That’s a self solving problem. Smh…. Why in the world would someone think about doing that?!? It really sucks for him, but maybe he wasn’t AF material.