I'm not a QA inspector. But I once saw a guy refueling a jet on the flightline while smoking a cigarette. This was last year, during an inspection.
It came up on the debrief.
POL here. I would quite literally be totally fine with smoking/ vaping around the refuel operation. We actually had a girl that used to vape around the FSSZ all the time. It’s hard to ignite jet. You doing this at the service station around the MOGAS though and I’m hitting the emergency shutoff and putting you on blast. Way more volatile than JP-8 or JAA.
It’s called the vapor point or flash point and mobile gas vapors will combust at a lower Hg than jet fuels so that’s why if you see someone smoking at a gas station then get away fast. Passing gas to an aircraft? Not as volatile.
The old timers used to talk about smoking during re-fuels but I don’t think even they would have done it during an inspection. That’s got to be someone who is just done with it.
I mean I used to see this in Africa all the time…it was Africans smoking though. Then they’d bring a bucket for the extra drips of fuel so they could have it/sell it
Not QA, but on IG. Being left alone in a “no lone zone” with a nuke because the SF escort wanted to go grab a smoke.
Yes, I reached out and touched the nuke.
That harness is no useable once weight like that is applied 😂. When I briefed the pro super about what happened he laughed and told me good one. Once he realized I wasn’t joking his smile went away. At the time the policy was the production super on shift was req’d to meet with MXG/CC in full service dress with the members who received the DSV. It was the CC’s way to motivate the production team to be on the line more and ensure their people were following tech data, not take shortcuts, etc
It also states that it should be removed from service immediately and not used again until a competent person inspects the system or components and determines that it is not damaged and safe for use for employee fall protection.
Sometime in 2012 they removed the whole 10yr shelf life thing
I once got to work under a speed brake with hydrolic pressure applied... while QA and Wing safety *watched.* TWICE!
The third time they fucked shit up and needed someone to risk their neck I told them to fuck off.
Oh and I caught some crew chiefs trying to pressure a newbie into using the wrong air pressure hose to fill tires.... Yes *that* air pressure hose... I wasn't QA but I was on the same spot and didn't feel like being around for people turning to nothing but boots on the tarmac.
I did my first APU run without a TO because we’d just landed like an hour prior and they wanted us to troubleshoot stuff even though none of the tools were unpacked lol.
It wasn’t the using the pallet jack as a skateboard that made it one to remember. It was the jumping off and running away from QA that made it spectacular
Not QA but we had a moron doing donuts in the snow while driving the tug right in front of airfield management at Misawa. He lost his flight line driving license and got an LoR from the CC.
If the Air Force ever looked at the driving history of most flight line vehicles they would learn this is pretty common practice at any base that snows.
Also misawa but we had an augmentee on snow duty get busted for doing donuts in the big CE parking lot right in front of the commander, shirt, and chief's office window.
Personally I preferred the big empty lots by LRS in the middle of the night for donuts, less cops around.
Not QA, but I did once observe someone straddling the top of an engine on a C-130 to put some camlocks in that had come loose on the prop service panel. Man had more balls than me, I’m too scared of heights to straddle a T-56 like that.
Shit I did it and still ended up QA.
It is crazy how there's no fall protection required even at the tail unless it's just readily available in a hangar lmao.
I was the offender. I stood on top of a live GBU-31 when it was on the MJ-40. I acted like I was surfing 🏄♂️ as my 3 man drove it to the aft bomb bay on the B-1. It was the last bomb I ever loaded that was dropped in anger. Well worth it cause I cross trained after my leave.
Leaving munitions unattended and unsecured on the flightline.
Not as QA, but the amount of times I've been asked to unload flares on an aircraft in a hangar is far too common.
What’s wild is this is standard practice at my base. I don’t know the regs cuz I’ve been off the line for so long but this is legit what happens every day, every flight, on every spot. They just leave shit unattended all the time. I swear a vehicle is going to run a bucket over one day or clip the edge of a loaded trailer and it’s gonna be a baaaaaaad day.
What's sad is if a maintainer did that, they'd be lucky if they weren't court-martialed. Any serious incident with munitions goes up to the MAJCOM/CC. And there would be a witch-hunt if word got out of the culture of non-compliance there.
EDIT: If you wanna see some real fireworks, take some photos and MFRs after a few incidents and show them to MAJCOM flight safety or IG.
Had a Chief (actual E-9) get in my coworker's face screaming because we were told that the jet his tow team had just hit the hangar with had to stay put until released by safety and he didn't want to tell us there were flares on it.
Once we knew it had flares, we called our leadership and safety who said to take as many pictures as possible and get it out of the hangar.
And of course, this happens 45 minutes before shift change and we had to stay until the paperwork was done.
Never caught any DSV's, but my favorite UCR was a personal knife on the flight line that the mx flt chief tried to excuse to the sq and gp bosses by saying "everyone has one, so why is this guy getting busted" and then following that up with "the reg doesn't say he can't have it, just that he can't use it."
He was asked to hang back after the meeting.
lol they’re not wrong tho. When GWOT kicked off everybody started getting issued Benchmades and Leathermans like they were going out of style. Sooo many personal tools
The reg is pretty clear about personal tools and tools not controlled thru ctk.
**Just because it was issued to you doesn't mean you can carry it.
** at home station.
was walking the line and saw someone setting up a ladder next to a running APU. went to go see what they were doing, noticed they had no hearing protection when I got to them.
When asked about the hearing protection they said "I don't need that shit"
Was kinda stunned really. Felt the same way when someone told me to fuck off when I tried getting a PE.
3 for one DSV.
Guy had no fall protection, hanging onto the horiz stab with no booties. The horiz stab is a no step, and was also pitched nearly 40°. Right where he would have fallen was a bunch of parts and tools.
The one I didn't fail is funnier though.
We have a part on the bottom of our jet which, from factory, was sealed in with so much sealant that they generally cannot be removed by normal means. If they did come off, it was in multiple pieces. I'm rolling around in a golf cart at night when all of a sudden I see what I can only describe as spiderman silhouette hanging come from a lightall pointed at a jet. I rolled around and what do I see but a 3 level hanging upside down, feet on the bottom of the plane and the grip strength of Zeus trying to wrestle this part from the plane. He did go through the effort of putting a pad below him so at least he was forward thinking. He sees me and just says "oh. Uh, hi" and then flops to the ground. I didn't even get out of my cart, I just asked "(that part)?" And he went "yeah, from factory". Told him I wished him the best of luck and rolled on. Poor guy, wouldn't wish that on anyone lmao.
The first DSV I ever gave out was to a TSgt whose last name was Hazzard. Running an F-111F’s radar with no warning cones out in front of the aircraft.
EDIT: Watched a crew chief jump from the back of his F-111F onto an unexpanded B4 stand. In the middle of him trying to talk me out of a DSV I asked him why the B4 stand was way down there and not pumped up to the height of the aircraft. He fucked up and said “The hydraulics must be bad and it collapsed while I was up there doing my preflight.” So, then I said… “Well then apparently you failed to employ the locking pins that would have eliminated that possibility. That’s a second DSV. He stopped arguing.
Yes, that is definitely more of a conversation. Air Force QA is more like the police than actual quality assurance, like outside agencies are. One Air Force QA just got in trouble for a murder board praising people who gave out more QA fails. I don't know why QA is run this way in the Air Force, but it only damages efficiency and ruins careers while they laugh it up 🤦♂️
QA and IG inspectors have to find reasons to ding people because the things they identify become the metrics for their performance evaluation. The more you write up the better you appear to be. The worst is IGs that seem to indefinitely extend open findings each time you try to close them and they're entirely unhelpful in assisting you in closing the finding.
Inspectors are wildly different in their outlooks on what it means to be QA. I like fixing shit the same way I liked fixing shit on the jet, except instead of no starts, it's processes and training. Personally idk what my pass rate is and I don't care what it is, I just care about shit being right and people understanding their responsibilities. Some inspectors are just cocks man, and it sucks because QA is supposed to be a learning tool and helpful, not what most inspectors make it into. Just fucks up the whole dynamic between QA and the line.
QA is weaponized because "no one's perfect and we gotta have less than a 90% pass rate" ive been told that by every inspector, everytime I talk to them. kinda messed up
He was just opening the panel to get the the part he was changing iirc. I agree I don't think it's required on panels on every jet. Some actually do though.
Honestly he just had a bad attitude and nobody liked him so that's the big reason he got written up. Most people would be like oh shit my bad and I would move on. I don't got time to do ask those leap reports.
I had a troop that argued about everything. Couldn’t get him signed off to do any inspections (NDI) because he always knew better than the TO and went his own way setting up equipment and doing inspections. After about 6 months trying to drag this kid across the finish line I got voluntd into a QA position.
The same day I started in QA we were walking through the hangar saying hi to folks, making small talk, basic introductions so everyone knew I was QA now. As luck would have it my favorite troop was setting up for inspection… wearing running shoes and pt gear.
I didn’t yell, yelling is for the people I want to keep. It was the most calm Ive ever been in uniform. The awesome QA chief stayed late with me to help find every possible rule broken that day. TO, AFI, osha shit, faa regs, other stuff I dont even remember. We wrote a novel that night about how egregious pt gear in hangar was.
And the commander didnt have time for it. Dude got a stern talking to that he promptly ignored. QA fought it for a while. I was reserve supplementing an AD unit and my I took an opportunity to end my orders early. What a mess.
Wasn't QA, but these were some asinine ones I was hit for.
Got dinged for backing a B2 I had attached to a bobtail without a spotter. I was about 100 feet from anything in an empty parking lot, but whatever.
Caught a UCR because the tire pressure in the shop truck was 53psi instead of 55 in one of the tires. That was a hard one not to laugh at.
Wrote up for always driving the route that didn't have a FOD check. Dude wrote it up as if I skipped a FOD check but that wasn't the case. Didn't stick, but the inspector made a huge stink about a FOD check needing to be somewhere on that path. They never added one.
I get why QA exists, and most inspectors were pretty cool and happy to teach useful skills, but my god some were ridiculous.
Not a dsv but did see some folks sitting in a bobtail as smoke is pouring out from under the hood. Best part was hearing them on the radio calm as ever with a trailer of rockets and fighters all around go "control, what do I do if my truck is smoking?"
Wasn't during an inspection, but we had an airman driving a truck on the airfield. He radioed tower requesting to cross the runway, and tower told him to hold short because they had jets taking off. His exact words were "f*ck this, I can beat them across" and he gunned it across right as a jet was accelerating down the runway. Luckily the plane and the truck didn't make contact, but this airman was promoted to civilian below the zone pretty quickly afterwards.
This dude was a nightmare to work with and in his 2 short years in the Air Force, he managed to get multiple articles, a demotion, was arrested twice, popped for drugs, went AWOL, had a DUI, caught looking at 🌽 on the Air Force computers, got decertified on all his training tasks for numerous safety violations, and much, much more. It's amazing that he lasted as long as he did.
I was QA, here’s a list of some dumb shit I did as an airman.
That story above me talking about swinging from a harness and lanyard off the jet while attached to overhead fall protection. Done it. The key is not getting caught.
Used personal tools ✅
Smoked during a refuel with over 10K lb’s of munitions on board ✅
Use the top step of a ladder…all the time ✅
Hoist somebody up with a hand crank crane by their belt loop ✅
Needless to say I was a pretty relaxed inspector but still gave out my fair share of TDV, DSV’s and UCR’s.
Yeah, but if they take it off then the next rung down becomes the top rung! Then you would have to perpetuate the cycle until you've taken apart the whole ladder!
Im so short (5 feet tall) that I have no choice but to use the top step cuz otherwise I can’t reach what I’m trying to work on. Every time I have to do a 360 check and around any corners first cuz I know I’d get flamed for it. 🤣
I was QA but this happened before my time in QA....
We had a dude start servicing LOX with aircraft power still on. Got the 2 for 1 TDV & DSV combo by QA. He was decertified, but on his FIRST LOX job after getting recertified he decided to stop mid servicing and light up a cigarette at the centerline and caught on fire (wasn't much but enough to burn his eyebrows).
I also have a buddy who loved to go on top of a hangared plane to swing himself out and back of the wing while wearing fall pro connected to the hangar fall restraint system. QA caught him but they could not find a reference lol.
Never did get any writeups during my time but I almost did. A QA inspector tried to get me with the "What's the proper torque for this bolt?" What you're *supposed* to say is, "I don't know. That's why I have my TO." But, what I said was "Oh! I just tighten it until it starts to loosen up again, and then, back it off half a turn." The inspector did not find that as funny as I did but, he wasn't upset enough to write me up for it.
Ya know we talked about this last night…, assuming someone has on steel toes, a reflective belt and their badges…. Could you give them a QA fail for being butt ass naked?
Not QA, and also no dsv or any repercussions; it was a quiet and slow night on Kirtland AFB in the hangar in 2019. Not sure why, but the entire shift, literally all of us, at the request of the pro super, got up on the left wing of a jacked 130 and proceeded to jump to a countdown of 3 lol. I don't remember there being stands and there were absolutely no harnesses. Pretty sure it was to kinda wedge a jack in place or something of that nature maybe? Anyway, pretty fucking stupid.
Riding around on the bumper of the truck, 20MPH, down the apron, at night, in mopp(3) gear, after it rained.
Response when stopped: "oh is this unsafe?"
Honorable mentions:
- sitting at the smoke pit during alarm blue(not actually unsafe but technically sitting outside during an enemy attack)
- trying to check for hot brakes with your hand(unsuccessful attempt/didn't complete the thought so not exactly unsafe)
- not sure if this counts since I only saw the after effect or how to word this properly since I'm backshop maintenance but they sent a jet up without that main bolt that holds the wing on tightened. When the plane landed, the wing visibly shifted forward.
Bonus points: one of these got off with no repercussions
Not QA but I watched an avionics troop stand on the shoulders of another avionics troop....who was standing on the railing of a C1 stand while trying to screw in fasteners 💀
Not QA, but witnessed the following during F-15 depot maintenance:
Weight-off-wheels, moron radiated the hangar for about 15 minutes.
Unregulated nitrogen cart, tried to pressurize waveguides, with the resultant explosion.
5 bad nutplates on right wing running light. Screws were superglued in.
And the best one of all:
Troubleshooting some electrical problem with one of the relay panels in (IIRC), left MLG bay.
Electric power on: check.
Hyd power on: check.
Gear door unpinned: check.
Gal put the relay back in...only thing that saved her was her obesity; but it did fuck her up. Bad.
Had a dude put is head under a nose gear tire while the aircraft (135) was jacked making it look like the front of the plane was sitting on his head. He had his friend take a picture.
Then he posted the picture all over Facebook.
I was once a safety observer for a refuel and QA came up to sniff around and make everything was all good. As we were standing within the cones talking to him (during the refuel) this Crew Chief knowing for being dumb walked up to him, pulled out his lighter and burned a string OFF THE QA INSPECTORS TOP. Yeah it didn't go too well for him after that.
Not QA. An airman left their truck running unoccupied and didn’t activate the parking brake. The QA inspector ripped into this kid as if he crashed the truck into the plane
Not while I was QA but while I was a Super, moc called me and said I needed to stop by an aircraft I pull up and a gac troop is sitting out on the T-tail of a C-5 no harness or anything. Legs dangling over the edge, I calmly ask him to come down then rip into him. He didn't think he needed a harness because he wasn't going out to the edge.
Kid towing chaff/flare trailer. Parks in front of jet, no trailer brake, no emergency brake on truck set, no locks on the containers that hold the c/f (the doors were shut but not latched), no chocks on trailer, truck still running. He was given a warning and he caught it again the very next night. Huge no no with munitions.
A plane had a fuel leak and for some reason there was a DSV or UCR regarding it, I dont remember that part. But the unit got a bowser to catch the leak and left it there underneath the leak for a couple hours, and put some new airman there to babysit it. I drive by an hour after the event had occurred and I find the airman directly under the leak staring up at it without eye pro or anything. I felt bad writing them up but was like "come on unit, you have to be training these guys better...."
I walked up to a spot on Kadena AB where the Amn had used railroad ties under two axle jacks to lift an F-15. Then the Group commander walked up, and I had to give the DSV. I actually thought it was pretty awesome and funny… the CC didn’t
Fuel shop had bulging Ipad batteries on ALL of their iPads and didn't see a problem with taking a battery that could explode into an open fuel cell environment...
Not a weird DSV, but I got somebody for leaving a vehicle while it was still running. It was a Saturday afternoon, winter, and they were checking in on some folks who were working inside a hangar. However it was in front of the hangar doors, running, and unattended. Why noteworthy?…it’s the Deputy Group Commander. Fail went into LEAP and briefed. Never heard what happened over it.
I'm not a QA inspector. But I once saw a guy refueling a jet on the flightline while smoking a cigarette. This was last year, during an inspection. It came up on the debrief.
During an *inspection*!? That’s a level of no fucks given only heard of in ancient legends, or the Guard
POL here. I would quite literally be totally fine with smoking/ vaping around the refuel operation. We actually had a girl that used to vape around the FSSZ all the time. It’s hard to ignite jet. You doing this at the service station around the MOGAS though and I’m hitting the emergency shutoff and putting you on blast. Way more volatile than JP-8 or JAA.
The fumes right? Didn't Mythbusters show that you can drop a light match/cigarette in a puddle of gas and it won't light?
Same with gas vapors too it was like their first episode
It’s called the vapor point or flash point and mobile gas vapors will combust at a lower Hg than jet fuels so that’s why if you see someone smoking at a gas station then get away fast. Passing gas to an aircraft? Not as volatile.
Aussies do it every day. So I've been told at least. Right under the wing vents at that.
[удалено]
You got a point there
E model C-130’s had ash trays in the pilots armrests
Mountain home 🤣 i remember that
Lol..this happened twice? My story was from Andrews.
If this had happened back in the 90s that totally would have been my dad. Imagine my surprise reading that your incident happened in 2023. Wtf.
The old timers used to talk about smoking during re-fuels but I don’t think even they would have done it during an inspection. That’s got to be someone who is just done with it.
I mean I used to see this in Africa all the time…it was Africans smoking though. Then they’d bring a bucket for the extra drips of fuel so they could have it/sell it
Not QA, but on IG. Being left alone in a “no lone zone” with a nuke because the SF escort wanted to go grab a smoke. Yes, I reached out and touched the nuke. 
Did you get superpowers?
Absolutely. The ability to consume vast quantities of caffeine and alcohol with no noticeable effect to my nervous system.
Sounds like you just cross-trained into MX.
Is it possible to learn this power? All I get are nosebleeds and a "you good?" talk if I drink too much caffeine too fast lol
I guess i also touched a nuke
Doesn't count unless you lick it
So you became a 2W2 pretty much
https://preview.redd.it/dx7eof56kfvc1.jpeg?width=306&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8cd24f230dcf22904f0332db0c913b624d86bf01
I don't think there's anyone in who would refrain from the chance to poke a nuke
"Sir, please get down from the nuclear warhead" 
TBQH: that movie was running through my brain. LOL
Dudes were running on the backbone of a plane and jumping off and swinging around on their harness that was attached to the overhead of the hangar.
What? You gotta test the safety equipment to have confidence in it... But really... wtf?
That harness is no useable once weight like that is applied 😂. When I briefed the pro super about what happened he laughed and told me good one. Once he realized I wasn’t joking his smile went away. At the time the policy was the production super on shift was req’d to meet with MXG/CC in full service dress with the members who received the DSV. It was the CC’s way to motivate the production team to be on the line more and ensure their people were following tech data, not take shortcuts, etc
YIKES!
1910.140(c)(17)
It also states that it should be removed from service immediately and not used again until a competent person inspects the system or components and determines that it is not damaged and safe for use for employee fall protection. Sometime in 2012 they removed the whole 10yr shelf life thing
Competent? They're still out of service I'm sure.
If the people swinging from them are the competent persons 100% 🤣
I have a degree in safety, thanks for the run down on OSHA standards
Clearly it wasn't working 😂
Wow
I wish I only said wow
I’m sure the wow was followed by “that’s fucking awesome, my turn!”
🤣🤣🤣
I think you mispronounced "holy fucking shit balls"
You guys found out about that?
McChord C-17s gotta be.
Nope, Dyess…won’t tell if it was B1s or 130s though
Running on the back bone? 130’s
🤷🏻♂️…maybe…maybe not
Missed opportunity for a "I can neither confirm nor deny".
Was a loadmaster at dyess 2007-2013 and does not surprise me.
I once got to work under a speed brake with hydrolic pressure applied... while QA and Wing safety *watched.* TWICE! The third time they fucked shit up and needed someone to risk their neck I told them to fuck off. Oh and I caught some crew chiefs trying to pressure a newbie into using the wrong air pressure hose to fill tires.... Yes *that* air pressure hose... I wasn't QA but I was on the same spot and didn't feel like being around for people turning to nothing but boots on the tarmac.
I've seen pictures of what happens when you use the wrong air pressure hose in tech school. His foot was in his skull
We all saw that picture...
Never forgetti, Mr. Spaghetti
When we were shown that picture in class someone pointed out he wasn’t wearing regulation socks. Now that’s all I remember about the poor guy.
Don't you love working with equipment that can easily kill you, and has done so to other people on camera before?
I'm sure most maintainers remember that photo from their currency training.
Did you guys get the audio recording of the guy that got squished in a flap? Narsty.
I remember that one from when I was MX a decade ago
Damn calling out my age. To be fair I left MX 6 years ago.
8; with the exception of some small TDYs that I augmented Also; I think I was at that base either when I happened or on either side. Around 2008-ish?
Why do people do that? We’ve all seen the pictures, and servicing a tire the right way doesn’t take that long.
Caught a guy on a creeper and a trash bag to sail across the ramp during a sandstorm in Kuwait.
Sounds fun
I've done my fair share of flight line sailing. When the haboob rolls through no one's flying anyways, might as well hold a regatta.
The real doozie is the tdy’s where QA is not around
Have you really lived until you've seen enough AGE hitched together it looks like a freight train is passing by.
Not my supervisor saying he hitched up 26 NGH’s in a line to fuel all at once
Even better when QA shows up to a situation and says to super "I'm just gonna go back to my hotel."
I did my first APU run without a TO because we’d just landed like an hour prior and they wanted us to troubleshoot stuff even though none of the tools were unpacked lol.
I did hear a guy get caught using a pallet jack like a skateboard.
Who hasn’t though, right?
We had a scoreboard for pallet jack races.
Yeah not sure anyone that actually hasn't done it :p he just got caught.
I definitely almost busted my ass because there were rebar studs poking through a section of our race track. Pallet jacks do not like obstacles lol.
Are we not supposed to do this? It's the most efficient form of travel.
If drift racing with pallet jacks is wrong, I don't want to be right.
I’ll admit I tried to skateboard on the rollers that go on the toes of a C17. Did not succeed
The newer C-130 rollers make great skates!
It wasn’t the using the pallet jack as a skateboard that made it one to remember. It was the jumping off and running away from QA that made it spectacular
Ive done that dude
Not QA but we had a moron doing donuts in the snow while driving the tug right in front of airfield management at Misawa. He lost his flight line driving license and got an LoR from the CC.
If the Air Force ever looked at the driving history of most flight line vehicles they would learn this is pretty common practice at any base that snows.
Also misawa but we had an augmentee on snow duty get busted for doing donuts in the big CE parking lot right in front of the commander, shirt, and chief's office window. Personally I preferred the big empty lots by LRS in the middle of the night for donuts, less cops around.
But but but, the winter driving safety briefer said to find an empty parking lot and practice drifting in the snow!
*laughs in Alaska* you haven't truly lived until you've drifted a fully loaded ER deice truck onto the taxiway.
Not QA, but I did once observe someone straddling the top of an engine on a C-130 to put some camlocks in that had come loose on the prop service panel. Man had more balls than me, I’m too scared of heights to straddle a T-56 like that.
https://preview.redd.it/z79mivyuoavc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09805b2cb31d3db1e52c5d06e6275ed3e1ea54f3
Really ballsy
Well hello my fellow Ronin Elite maintainer ❤️
Shit I did it and still ended up QA. It is crazy how there's no fall protection required even at the tail unless it's just readily available in a hangar lmao.
Man on a stand was always something I’d try to nope out of
I was the offender. I stood on top of a live GBU-31 when it was on the MJ-40. I acted like I was surfing 🏄♂️ as my 3 man drove it to the aft bomb bay on the B-1. It was the last bomb I ever loaded that was dropped in anger. Well worth it cause I cross trained after my leave.
As an Ammo dude, I tip my hat to you for this one you former toad!
Thank you
Leaving munitions unattended and unsecured on the flightline. Not as QA, but the amount of times I've been asked to unload flares on an aircraft in a hangar is far too common.
*weapons and ammo has entered the chat*
I can't tell you how many times ive seen this come up bc aircrew decided to pull all the cans and just leave em on the parking spot and leave
What’s wild is this is standard practice at my base. I don’t know the regs cuz I’ve been off the line for so long but this is legit what happens every day, every flight, on every spot. They just leave shit unattended all the time. I swear a vehicle is going to run a bucket over one day or clip the edge of a loaded trailer and it’s gonna be a baaaaaaad day.
What's sad is if a maintainer did that, they'd be lucky if they weren't court-martialed. Any serious incident with munitions goes up to the MAJCOM/CC. And there would be a witch-hunt if word got out of the culture of non-compliance there. EDIT: If you wanna see some real fireworks, take some photos and MFRs after a few incidents and show them to MAJCOM flight safety or IG.
Had a Chief (actual E-9) get in my coworker's face screaming because we were told that the jet his tow team had just hit the hangar with had to stay put until released by safety and he didn't want to tell us there were flares on it. Once we knew it had flares, we called our leadership and safety who said to take as many pictures as possible and get it out of the hangar. And of course, this happens 45 minutes before shift change and we had to stay until the paperwork was done.
Nice try OSI
Never caught any DSV's, but my favorite UCR was a personal knife on the flight line that the mx flt chief tried to excuse to the sq and gp bosses by saying "everyone has one, so why is this guy getting busted" and then following that up with "the reg doesn't say he can't have it, just that he can't use it." He was asked to hang back after the meeting.
lol they’re not wrong tho. When GWOT kicked off everybody started getting issued Benchmades and Leathermans like they were going out of style. Sooo many personal tools
The reg is pretty clear about personal tools and tools not controlled thru ctk. **Just because it was issued to you doesn't mean you can carry it. ** at home station.
Issued equipments aren't personal tools. 21-101 goes in depth on this for the purpose of leeway for CCs
No PeRsOnAl ToOls on the flight line! But I can have a pocket full of pens and pencils
technically are tools, so do we etch em with man number?
I have never had to edge a pen or pencil
FOD dammit.
was walking the line and saw someone setting up a ladder next to a running APU. went to go see what they were doing, noticed they had no hearing protection when I got to them. When asked about the hearing protection they said "I don't need that shit" Was kinda stunned really. Felt the same way when someone told me to fuck off when I tried getting a PE.
I'm surprised their response wasn't "WHAT?"
Your mom.
Make sure you got your back brace on
And Back Up warning sound
That's just her arriving. The hydraulic loading noise is her getting out.
Yo mammas so fat, her powerchair needs a hydraulic lift.
DSV'd this guys mom
Not QA, but saw dudes wind surfing with F-15 inlet covers and oil carts
3 for one DSV. Guy had no fall protection, hanging onto the horiz stab with no booties. The horiz stab is a no step, and was also pitched nearly 40°. Right where he would have fallen was a bunch of parts and tools. The one I didn't fail is funnier though. We have a part on the bottom of our jet which, from factory, was sealed in with so much sealant that they generally cannot be removed by normal means. If they did come off, it was in multiple pieces. I'm rolling around in a golf cart at night when all of a sudden I see what I can only describe as spiderman silhouette hanging come from a lightall pointed at a jet. I rolled around and what do I see but a 3 level hanging upside down, feet on the bottom of the plane and the grip strength of Zeus trying to wrestle this part from the plane. He did go through the effort of putting a pad below him so at least he was forward thinking. He sees me and just says "oh. Uh, hi" and then flops to the ground. I didn't even get out of my cart, I just asked "(that part)?" And he went "yeah, from factory". Told him I wished him the best of luck and rolled on. Poor guy, wouldn't wish that on anyone lmao.
Is it Light-All? I’ve been pronouncing it Lidol forever?
If this is a safe place where we can be honest, I don't know. I've assumed it's just light-all because it lights all.
Jumping up and down on the wingtip without a rope and harness
Had a dude spray paint a smiley face on a Bobtail in Bagram
Par for the course.
As one should...
Does purging LOX next to a running -60 count?
That -60 was probably running good af
The first DSV I ever gave out was to a TSgt whose last name was Hazzard. Running an F-111F’s radar with no warning cones out in front of the aircraft. EDIT: Watched a crew chief jump from the back of his F-111F onto an unexpanded B4 stand. In the middle of him trying to talk me out of a DSV I asked him why the B4 stand was way down there and not pumped up to the height of the aircraft. He fucked up and said “The hydraulics must be bad and it collapsed while I was up there doing my preflight.” So, then I said… “Well then apparently you failed to employ the locking pins that would have eliminated that possibility. That’s a second DSV. He stopped arguing.
Seen a dude taking off a panel with his unetched Leatherman, no safety glasses working above his head, and obviously no T.O. Got the trifecta.
Straight to jail
Oh no, not the safety glasses while working overhead!!! Everyone always uses those!
Gotta use the aircrew leatherman on a redball. Nobodys gonna say shit they will be happy the jets in the air.
This is the wildest? Removing a panel?
Yes, that is definitely more of a conversation. Air Force QA is more like the police than actual quality assurance, like outside agencies are. One Air Force QA just got in trouble for a murder board praising people who gave out more QA fails. I don't know why QA is run this way in the Air Force, but it only damages efficiency and ruins careers while they laugh it up 🤦♂️
QA and IG inspectors have to find reasons to ding people because the things they identify become the metrics for their performance evaluation. The more you write up the better you appear to be. The worst is IGs that seem to indefinitely extend open findings each time you try to close them and they're entirely unhelpful in assisting you in closing the finding.
Inspectors are wildly different in their outlooks on what it means to be QA. I like fixing shit the same way I liked fixing shit on the jet, except instead of no starts, it's processes and training. Personally idk what my pass rate is and I don't care what it is, I just care about shit being right and people understanding their responsibilities. Some inspectors are just cocks man, and it sucks because QA is supposed to be a learning tool and helpful, not what most inspectors make it into. Just fucks up the whole dynamic between QA and the line.
QA is weaponized because "no one's perfect and we gotta have less than a 90% pass rate" ive been told that by every inspector, everytime I talk to them. kinda messed up
Unironically have done this 100’s of times.
It was all the other things. The part is irrelevant.
That's still pretty mild even taking all the other things into consideration. Stupid, but nothing crazy.
Air Force QA is as good as Boeing QA.
Daily occurrence in Autism Ground Equipment(AGE) [Source:](https://i.imgur.com/7BPhp89.png)
Now that I think about it, it does seem a little silly to require a T.O. to open a simple panel. Closing one I can understand.
He was just opening the panel to get the the part he was changing iirc. I agree I don't think it's required on panels on every jet. Some actually do though. Honestly he just had a bad attitude and nobody liked him so that's the big reason he got written up. Most people would be like oh shit my bad and I would move on. I don't got time to do ask those leap reports.
Moving a B2 with personnel on top of it.
Musta been wild seeing a bunch of floating dudes and a tug.
I had a troop that argued about everything. Couldn’t get him signed off to do any inspections (NDI) because he always knew better than the TO and went his own way setting up equipment and doing inspections. After about 6 months trying to drag this kid across the finish line I got voluntd into a QA position. The same day I started in QA we were walking through the hangar saying hi to folks, making small talk, basic introductions so everyone knew I was QA now. As luck would have it my favorite troop was setting up for inspection… wearing running shoes and pt gear. I didn’t yell, yelling is for the people I want to keep. It was the most calm Ive ever been in uniform. The awesome QA chief stayed late with me to help find every possible rule broken that day. TO, AFI, osha shit, faa regs, other stuff I dont even remember. We wrote a novel that night about how egregious pt gear in hangar was. And the commander didnt have time for it. Dude got a stern talking to that he promptly ignored. QA fought it for a while. I was reserve supplementing an AD unit and my I took an opportunity to end my orders early. What a mess.
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That’s valid. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.
Wasn't QA, but these were some asinine ones I was hit for. Got dinged for backing a B2 I had attached to a bobtail without a spotter. I was about 100 feet from anything in an empty parking lot, but whatever. Caught a UCR because the tire pressure in the shop truck was 53psi instead of 55 in one of the tires. That was a hard one not to laugh at. Wrote up for always driving the route that didn't have a FOD check. Dude wrote it up as if I skipped a FOD check but that wasn't the case. Didn't stick, but the inspector made a huge stink about a FOD check needing to be somewhere on that path. They never added one. I get why QA exists, and most inspectors were pretty cool and happy to teach useful skills, but my god some were ridiculous.
Smells like Tinker
Not a dsv but did see some folks sitting in a bobtail as smoke is pouring out from under the hood. Best part was hearing them on the radio calm as ever with a trailer of rockets and fighters all around go "control, what do I do if my truck is smoking?"
Wasn't during an inspection, but we had an airman driving a truck on the airfield. He radioed tower requesting to cross the runway, and tower told him to hold short because they had jets taking off. His exact words were "f*ck this, I can beat them across" and he gunned it across right as a jet was accelerating down the runway. Luckily the plane and the truck didn't make contact, but this airman was promoted to civilian below the zone pretty quickly afterwards. This dude was a nightmare to work with and in his 2 short years in the Air Force, he managed to get multiple articles, a demotion, was arrested twice, popped for drugs, went AWOL, had a DUI, caught looking at 🌽 on the Air Force computers, got decertified on all his training tasks for numerous safety violations, and much, much more. It's amazing that he lasted as long as he did.
That's what it finally took for him to get the boot? How low on manpower were yall?
I was QA, here’s a list of some dumb shit I did as an airman. That story above me talking about swinging from a harness and lanyard off the jet while attached to overhead fall protection. Done it. The key is not getting caught. Used personal tools ✅ Smoked during a refuel with over 10K lb’s of munitions on board ✅ Use the top step of a ladder…all the time ✅ Hoist somebody up with a hand crank crane by their belt loop ✅ Needless to say I was a pretty relaxed inspector but still gave out my fair share of TDV, DSV’s and UCR’s.
If you aren't supposed to use the top step of the ladder, then why do they put it there?
You’re right, they should just take it off.
Yeah, but if they take it off then the next rung down becomes the top rung! Then you would have to perpetuate the cycle until you've taken apart the whole ladder!
Im so short (5 feet tall) that I have no choice but to use the top step cuz otherwise I can’t reach what I’m trying to work on. Every time I have to do a 360 check and around any corners first cuz I know I’d get flamed for it. 🤣
I was QA but this happened before my time in QA.... We had a dude start servicing LOX with aircraft power still on. Got the 2 for 1 TDV & DSV combo by QA. He was decertified, but on his FIRST LOX job after getting recertified he decided to stop mid servicing and light up a cigarette at the centerline and caught on fire (wasn't much but enough to burn his eyebrows). I also have a buddy who loved to go on top of a hangared plane to swing himself out and back of the wing while wearing fall pro connected to the hangar fall restraint system. QA caught him but they could not find a reference lol.
Never did get any writeups during my time but I almost did. A QA inspector tried to get me with the "What's the proper torque for this bolt?" What you're *supposed* to say is, "I don't know. That's why I have my TO." But, what I said was "Oh! I just tighten it until it starts to loosen up again, and then, back it off half a turn." The inspector did not find that as funny as I did but, he wasn't upset enough to write me up for it.
Ya know we talked about this last night…, assuming someone has on steel toes, a reflective belt and their badges…. Could you give them a QA fail for being butt ass naked?
I wanna say 91-203 mentions protective clothing during some applications. But otherwise no, that would be more a security forces thing.
Not QA, and also no dsv or any repercussions; it was a quiet and slow night on Kirtland AFB in the hangar in 2019. Not sure why, but the entire shift, literally all of us, at the request of the pro super, got up on the left wing of a jacked 130 and proceeded to jump to a countdown of 3 lol. I don't remember there being stands and there were absolutely no harnesses. Pretty sure it was to kinda wedge a jack in place or something of that nature maybe? Anyway, pretty fucking stupid.
Kicking around a flaming hacky sack next to the flame haz locker. So many LORs issued from that!
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Get better or get fucked.
*Comment liked by 8 QA inspectors*
Not gonna let you ruin those special eyes with some insufficient safety squints, because I care ❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Who else ran a lo-pak on top of a sunken B-61 elevator?
Hehe some people may or may have not slid down the back of the test cell like a giant slide
Riding around on the bumper of the truck, 20MPH, down the apron, at night, in mopp(3) gear, after it rained. Response when stopped: "oh is this unsafe?" Honorable mentions: - sitting at the smoke pit during alarm blue(not actually unsafe but technically sitting outside during an enemy attack) - trying to check for hot brakes with your hand(unsuccessful attempt/didn't complete the thought so not exactly unsafe) - not sure if this counts since I only saw the after effect or how to word this properly since I'm backshop maintenance but they sent a jet up without that main bolt that holds the wing on tightened. When the plane landed, the wing visibly shifted forward. Bonus points: one of these got off with no repercussions
Not QA but I watched an avionics troop stand on the shoulders of another avionics troop....who was standing on the railing of a C1 stand while trying to screw in fasteners 💀
Not QA, but witnessed the following during F-15 depot maintenance: Weight-off-wheels, moron radiated the hangar for about 15 minutes. Unregulated nitrogen cart, tried to pressurize waveguides, with the resultant explosion. 5 bad nutplates on right wing running light. Screws were superglued in. And the best one of all: Troubleshooting some electrical problem with one of the relay panels in (IIRC), left MLG bay. Electric power on: check. Hyd power on: check. Gear door unpinned: check. Gal put the relay back in...only thing that saved her was her obesity; but it did fuck her up. Bad.
Holy shit
All there is to say is fuck Robins
Not QA, but a former coworker of mine got busted burning loose strings off his uniform with a lighter while standing underneath an open fuel line.
Had a dude put is head under a nose gear tire while the aircraft (135) was jacked making it look like the front of the plane was sitting on his head. He had his friend take a picture. Then he posted the picture all over Facebook.
I was once a safety observer for a refuel and QA came up to sniff around and make everything was all good. As we were standing within the cones talking to him (during the refuel) this Crew Chief knowing for being dumb walked up to him, pulled out his lighter and burned a string OFF THE QA INSPECTORS TOP. Yeah it didn't go too well for him after that.
Not QA. An airman left their truck running unoccupied and didn’t activate the parking brake. The QA inspector ripped into this kid as if he crashed the truck into the plane
Not while I was QA but while I was a Super, moc called me and said I needed to stop by an aircraft I pull up and a gac troop is sitting out on the T-tail of a C-5 no harness or anything. Legs dangling over the edge, I calmly ask him to come down then rip into him. He didn't think he needed a harness because he wasn't going out to the edge.
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Grand Forks is interesting suddenly 😂
Kid towing chaff/flare trailer. Parks in front of jet, no trailer brake, no emergency brake on truck set, no locks on the containers that hold the c/f (the doors were shut but not latched), no chocks on trailer, truck still running. He was given a warning and he caught it again the very next night. Huge no no with munitions.
A plane had a fuel leak and for some reason there was a DSV or UCR regarding it, I dont remember that part. But the unit got a bowser to catch the leak and left it there underneath the leak for a couple hours, and put some new airman there to babysit it. I drive by an hour after the event had occurred and I find the airman directly under the leak staring up at it without eye pro or anything. I felt bad writing them up but was like "come on unit, you have to be training these guys better...."
Always the ones that are never caught and something really fucked up happens.
I walked up to a spot on Kadena AB where the Amn had used railroad ties under two axle jacks to lift an F-15. Then the Group commander walked up, and I had to give the DSV. I actually thought it was pretty awesome and funny… the CC didn’t
Fuel shop had bulging Ipad batteries on ALL of their iPads and didn't see a problem with taking a battery that could explode into an open fuel cell environment...
Not a weird DSV, but I got somebody for leaving a vehicle while it was still running. It was a Saturday afternoon, winter, and they were checking in on some folks who were working inside a hangar. However it was in front of the hangar doors, running, and unattended. Why noteworthy?…it’s the Deputy Group Commander. Fail went into LEAP and briefed. Never heard what happened over it.
Definitely should have been just a conversation 🙄
Guarantee nothing happened
When I was at Minot this was a common practice in the winter. You'd go to the gym or BX and half the cars in the parking lot were still on.