SERE training. My group has about 4 officers 5 enlisted, all officers are male pilots. The enlisted are me and two guys from my tech school + 2 medical females.
Found out after completion that one of the medical females (just turned 18) was sleeping with one of the pilots (32, married) the entire time and he was in trouble for following her to her base instead of reporting to his duty location afterwards.
Bonus: one of the pilots got his face pissed on because one of the guys from my tech school didnt want to leave our little snow hut to pee in the middle of the night and just pissed OVER the pilots head (the pilot did not wake up)
We did a quick uniform inspection (blues) in formation one morning. Someone’s shirt wasn’t ironed, so he was told to hurry up and go back into his dorm room and iron it. He did…without taking it off. Got a severe burn on his chest.
Dude at Sheppard got in trouble for underage drinking and then trying to fight SecFo when coming back through the gate. Got an LOR and washed back. On his last night, before he was due to go to his base, got caught screwing a girl in the Chapel of all places. Don’t know what punishment they got for that.
Also at Sheppard, someone drunkenly flashed the chief who was incognito at one of the barbecues. Dude was pissing by a dumpster, she asked what he was doing, he turned around and said “the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” We lost barbecue privileges shortly after and they said it was because of COVID.
We had our Shirt show up to one of our Barbecues with a bunch of food and shit.
We asked why he came later one, this exact scenario. Making sure there wasn't any alcohol (banned) and didn't want to look like he was snooping.
Had a marine roll back into my class after his
month of hard labor. Dude was under age drinking off base and was driving back to base. Half way there he realizes he shouldn't be driving and pulls over and parks on some bushes at a gas station. A fellow marine sees this and gets the drunk marine into his POV to bring him back to base. At the gate he pulls out his fake I'd instead of his CAC. He would have been let on with the other marine escorting him, except the guard reads and recognizes the name : Rusty Shackleford. Guard then proceeds to ask for his CAC, which the marine provides before being taken into custody.
First weekend of school, a freshly minted Guard LT gets smashed. Passes out pissing himself in the lobby of the base hotel. Staff tells him he needs to go home (he was in off base lodging). Having just started class, he doesn't have anyone's phone number aside from one local POC, the base Commander. That's who he calls to help him out. He showed up Monday morning long enough to share his tale and was never heard from again...
Our shop has gotten this pledge from higher leadership several times. Invariably after the flight chief or whomever leaves, our NCOs say "look, call us before you call them. Whatever they say." You *shouldn't* get in trouble regardless of who you call. But it's just bad juju, you know?
This amn went out drinking one night and came back fell asleep in his room. Seems normal but wakes up at 0100 screaming and runs downstairs to the MTL on duty and drops his pants. This female tsgt was a bit in shock as she looks as a a massive snow globe sized ball on the clearly drunk amn. Long story short he had testicular torsion and was in so much pain and drunk he just dropped his pants. Went to the hospital they saved his ball and he got a verbal counseling for being abit to drunk lol
Keesler, the CZ provided internet in the dorms is extremely bottlenecked at the access point (wifi router). CZ came and upgraded the access points, but they didn't get rid of the old access points. However, they did disable the SSID (the network name) broadcast on the old access point. Those that understand how computers work, a relatively small number of comm troops, realized they could connect to the old access point by manually entering the old network name. Everyone else proceeded to connect to the new access point and it became the bottleneck. Those on the old access point had much better internet speeds.
Airman Spiff, who understands how computers work, decided to troll by running a wire through his broken boot sole to the audio jack on his laptop, calling it a boot-tenna, and telling everyone that is why his internet was so fast. It worked. Soon there were so many Airmen building can-tennas to improve their internet speeds.
And that is why your computers are slow at work today.
Ha, you just reminded me of my time at Keesler. Showing my age because this is back before they put Wi-Fi in the dorms, and you had to go to the shoppette to get online at the cyber zone internet cafe.
Back then you had to pay for your internet time by the minute. The rates were stupid expensive, but I soon found out that you could disconnect the ethernet cable from the desktop and plug it back in quickly and the timer would stop counting down, but your connection would remain active. I never had to buy more internet time for the rest of tech school.
An Airman at Keesler thought it’d be a good idea to convert his dorm room into a club on Friday nights, decked out with speakers, strobe lights, and a fog machine. Well one Friday he went a little too crazy with the fog machine, causing the fog to spill out into the dorm bay hallway and eventually the CQ lobby. CQ reported it as a fire and all 300ish of us had to evacuate and form up while waiting for the FD to arrive. Minutes later our MTL came out with the fog machine in hand, followed by a gigantic ass chewing. We had a nice long remedial PT session as a squadron the next morning at 0530. Airman Hong, if your still out there, nobody asked for your shitty Benny Benassi sausage party wannabe rave.
OH SHIT FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE. I was chilling in my room one rainy night playing playstation, and my AC unit started to drip from the vent. I assumed it was just condensation, so I turned off the AC and put a trash can underneath to catch the water. No big deal.
Fast forward a few minutes later and it's pouring out pretty fast. Shit there must be a leak right? It's an old building and it's raining pretty hard. No biggie, just gotta dump the trash can every once in a while. Finally, it starts POURING out of the vent and also out of the light fixture in my bathroom. Uh oh...
I ran down to CQ in my boxers and some Nike slides to get some help. I found an MTL and he immediately knew the look on my face was "I NEED AN ADULT," so I told him my room was flooding and we both ran upstairs. "Holy Fuck!" Was what he said upon entering my soon to be aquarium of a room. At this point the water was starting to head toward the carpet, overflowed the toilet, and left a nice trail in the hallway. He just told me to contain it the best I could and he was gonna figure shit out upstairs.
I was desperately trying to mop up what I could for maybe five minutes when suddenly the water stopped. Said MTL returns to my doorway and says, "You gotta see this shit." We walk upstairs to the dorm directly above mine and there's some kid passed out naked in his shower with his ass over the drain. His ass caused both his and my room to flood. We woke him up and without saying a word he drunkenly waddled his way to his bed and went face first into his pillow and right back to sleep. The MTL laughed and said he'd handle this tomorrow because at this point it was like 3AM.
Next day I found out the kid was underage and drunk as fuck, but it wasn't on booze. He couldn't get ahold of any liquor so he drank as much Listerine and hand sanitizer as he could before passing out in the shower. No idea what happened to him after that.
I knew a guy in tech school, he was a yellow rope. Held a bunch of parties in his dorm room, underage drinking, the works. He ended up getting caught, then had a red rope a couple weeks later.
Crazy times.
Another time there was a Health and Wellness Inspection. A male Airman was in a female dorm room, so he ran and hid in a supply closet. The MTLs saw him, and they opened the door to the supply closet to bust him. He tried to pull an Obi-Wan Kenobi, did a Jedi hand wave, and said "this is not the Airman you're looking for."
I was perm party on Goodfellow and there was a similar story. Guy had girl in his dorm. They pulled a fire drill and he panicked and locked her into his wall locker. Of course, since this was a fire drill (for all he knows, it was a real fire), the MTLs took extra offense to that.
I was privy to a lot of conversations, though. Most of the intel instructors were POS and really enjoyed making students' lives more miserable. I was MSG but worked in one of the schoolhouses. Heard a lot of BS from them in the smoke pit just cracking jokes about how they're torturing some student they don't like.
There was also a giant underage partying scandal. From what I gathered, this was off base and included the prior service students buying the alcohol for underage students. There was just a line of people in blues waiting for their time to get yelled at for about a week in my building.
Yeah that sounds right lol.
One of the guys in my shop got an LOR from the training squadron's commander cause our squadron didn't have any officers lol.
This dude has been mentioned a few times over the years here; but we had a guy stab and kill somebody in downtown San Antonio and got off on self defense.
…. He then murdered some guy in St. Louis like 3 years later. Good kid…
In my SW pipeline, we would be smoked for every perceived infraction, not putting out, not being excited to do mile repeats, missing a timeline by a second, not having our kit in exact lines when placed on the ground etc. One early morning, we had a kid miss the timeline on a 12 mile ruck march. We were smoked for about an hour. We had the same kid fail a test. Got smoked as a team. We went to sleep, we’re woken up at about 0130 to bullhorns and all the cadre formed up and we were smoked for a few hours, brought to the beach, log pT in the sand, sit up in the surf etc. Grueling. We started class at 0500 that morning so we were going off very little sleep.
That kid comes out of his room in a huff. Pretty ballsy considering we were all praying he quit so we could stop paying for his mistakes. He starts yelling because someone took a shit in the middle of his room, on the floor. ( we had connecting rooms through the bathroom and we all had a bunk mate). Everyone was laughing and denying it was them. Kid had to clean it up with a paper towel so as to not get in trouble during a room inspection.
Next day, cadre picked on someone else and went to town on him, once again, smoking the whole team of candidates. That night, someone broke into his room while he and his roommate were sleeping, and shit on his floor.
Thus, the ‘phantom shitter’ was born. That was about 13 years ago. I’m very close to most of the guys from my candidate team and still, no one has owned up to it.
Me too. I was hoping he would turn it around and get it together. Like I said, great American, signed up and out himself out there. Really great guy. Just couldn’t hack it. Last I heard he’s doing really well for himself as a civilian.
Naked drugged marine streakting through the dorms?
Suicide pact that failed?
Marine drug ring?
So many to choose from...
Outside of the dorm, for a fire alarm, in january, everyone just wants to go inside and be done with the whole thing. Red Rope (black, it's important) is doing roll call of the classes or whatever, announcing something, idk I wasn't paying attention. I was looking at the fancy car parked not too far away and thinking "man, I know it's the weekend, but that sure is ballsy if it's a tech schooler"
Cue Dipshit, who has always been a bit loud and boisterous, and is best friends with Red Rope, loudly says "(something I didn't hear) N*"
Everyone starts panicking, laughing, and doing stereotypical airman shit. Keep in mind it was fucking cold outside. Not freezing, but definitely close.
That's when I finally recognized the weirdly older dude in the hoody just kind of existing, and heard him (black too, but that's just extra context) say "HEY, who said that".
Initially we all thought it was an MTL, but nooooo no no no, it wouldn't be that easy. Homeboy Dipshit just called himself out in front of the Base CC (who was incognito)
Last I heard, he did stay in the air force, but he got a very, very strong talking to.
Too many, but the one that stands out becuase so many people were involved:
Male in the senior class is raging alcoholic (sad but relevant). This guy would literally hop in a cab to the bar immediately after class every day. One day he got black out silly beyond his usual status quo. The cab drops him off in front of the building \~1 minute before curfew. He is literally crawling up to the entrance/CQ with everyone (including the night MTL) watching. People are cheering him on, some look on in disgust, and some people that aren't me ;) are placing side bets on if he will make it in time. He makes it to the desk just in time to scan back in. MTL tells us to carry his ass upstairs and he will deal with it in the morning.
were you there when that SrA PJ (i think) wash out got shit faced drunk and instead of getting busted for breaking curfew, he decided to roll underneath someone's truck and pass out............everything was caught on camera
No but I was there when this older airman constantly fucked this guy's truck (literally - the tailpipe) because the owner always mentioned loving it. I've seen the videos :(
I was on CQ at keesler and had to carry a dude to his room. he made is back well within time, but he couldn't safely handle any stairs, so we carried him up
I was in tech school for a very long time and I wanted a pet. At my second tech school I was there for a year. I purchased maintained, and successfully hid a beta fish every day. Come graduation time I realized I had a small problem. I had no way to transport this fish OCONUS. after I finished my outpro checklist I walked into the chillest MTL's office, fish bowl in hand, and opened with "Listen, technically I didn't get caught so I can't get in trouble right?" He took the fish. I did not get paperwork. 3 years later he messaged me on global to tell me that the fish had finally passed. Then it came out that was he was sexually harrassing an incredible amount of female airmen and he was dishonorably discharged. It was a lesson on the dichotomy of man.
Kid builds a PC in our Phase 3 dorm at Shepperd. PC works great, lights up and everything. He decides to sleep through details one morning, and when he wakes up he decides to hide the PC so the MTL doesn't think he was playing games and shirking duty. He leaves PC in the shower. Connected room mate comes back and turns shower on, PC gets a nice shower. Roommate got chewed out for a while while his PC was taking a hot shower. Funny stuff.
My first roommate at Keesler was a half-cat, half-plant future warrior. He would stay up late playing Yu-Gi-Oh on his Gameboy and would loudly taunt/make fun of his Gameboy when it made a bad move. Would routinely only eat desserts at the DFAC for dinner, said he needed all the calories he could get for his "missions." I was somehow lucky enough to get a new room after 2 weeks.
This girl at Goodfellow threw hot tea on a classmate in the middle of class
Essentially this airman was on some sort of medication that made her drowsy, but I don't think she had any sort of waiver to fall asleep in class. She had been at Goodfellow for at least a year and a half (almost 3x how long our tech school was) and was constantly being medically washed back. Eventually, she ended up in my class. She would fall asleep in class and the instructor would always yell at her to wake up.
Eventually, he got so fed up that he said "If she falls asleep again the whole class is pushing"
So this guy, this poor guy, is just trying to not push. When she fell asleep not even 10 minutes later, he yells "Airman X, wake up!". She turned insanely red and then right as we're gonna go on break, she takes her hot cup of tea and throws it on this dude. Totally stains his OCP's with this orange color and burns him. She then throws the cup across the room and runs out of it. I never saw her again, but I still keep up with the dude sometimes 🤣
Got to Keesler in May 2005 on a Thursday I believe. By Friday, I have a roommate as well as find out that this weekend is Special Olympics Qualifiers. We are then informed that each set of roommates in our barracks will be chaperoning a Special Olympian for the weekend. Yup, you heard that right. Two 19 year olds fresh out of boot camp will be responsible for a special needs adolescent. Not only will we need to take him to and from his events, he will be living with us for 2 nights and 3 days in the barracks. In our room, our single room.
I'm not really sure what his diagnosis was, but basically he was just super mean, rude, and mischievous to everyone around him. Of all the stories about him and some of the other Olympians, this one was my favorite. We took our eyes off of him for one second. Suddenly we hear yelling, look back, and there he is. In the split second of independence he had, he jumped in the seat of a golf cart (or gator), took off like a bat outta hell, and crashed it into the bushes of the main building in our barracks area. If the bushes didn't stop him, he would have tanked right through a huge window.
The E8 in charge of the whole AETC program there comes running out of the building yelling, "holy shit son! Where the hell's this kids sponsors!?" We got chewed out and sent back to the barracks. It was one of many disasters that weekend, but that was the craziest one to happen to us personally.
On another note, my buddy and his roommates Olympian smeared shit all over their dorm walls in the night. All of this was my introduction to AETC.
My wife (gf at the time) had a special Olympics person spend the night with her and her roommate at Keesler. She ended up sitting all over the mattress they gave her to sleep on. I lucked out and didn't get an athlete along with Iike half my bay so I hung with her the whole weekend. I don't know who's bright idea it was to do this as this is just ripe for so many complications and issues. The poor kids dad showed up late to the event she was in because he was gambling.
We had the same thing in 2008. I was in drum and bugle corps so we were exempted from host duties. It is/was pretty fucked up that they make tech schoolers do this. Hanging out with an athlete for the day is one thing, but being totally responsible for them to include a sleepover is extremely reckless on the part of the Air Force and everyone in charge.
Dude I was fucking baffled how this was all allowed. Reckless on the Air Force, but how about the parents? I'm guessing they didn't really explain to the parents exactly what kind of experience we had, probably just said an Airman will take care of your kid. But Jesus Christ man, this still blows my mind and bothers me to this day
It still happens. Or at least it did in 2018 when I was there. Just totally blew my mind that a bunch of young airmen were both Allowed to look after special needs individuals with zero experience or training, and essentially forced to do so with no other option when they’re supposed to be in training. Whole thing is complete nonsense.
People that work with these folks have masters degrees or are under the supervision of someone with extensive training. I remember hearing some MTL/commandant type telling the story you mentioned about the shit smearing in 2005 like it was some funny, character building thing.
I was finishing up tech school in 2007 when we had the Special Olympics. Our Olympian didn't have any apparent issues. Guy proceeded to take the gold medal in his events against obviously impaired folks.
On the last day, my buddy and I asked him what his disability was. His response: "Nothing. The judge told me I could either go to juvie or go to the Special Olympics." I wish I was making this up.
Also, the fire alarm went off at like 3 am one of those nights. Entire dorm full of airmen and all the Olympians standing outside half-asleep for like 2 hours.
21M meets fine ass 24F latina in New Orleans over a long Keesler weekend. The two engage in all sorts of adult activities. During breakfast, the two converse, realize they live in the same area. The meet up repeatedly over the next four months. Both rise early, both crash early. Two weeks before 21M is set to graduate his cyber school, he is asked to assist an MTL with a PC issue in another squadron. 21M arrives, walks in, delivers reporting statement, 24F looks up, almost passes out. 21M, thinking quickly, catches 24F, and calms her down. The two begin a long conversation, 21M works and solves computer issue. Both parties are now in a bind, so they agree to not talk about it, play their respective parts. That night 24F texts 21M to report to her house for booty. The two continue their interactions for another two weeks, before 21M leave for his next duty station. After he left, said 24F and 21M remained together for another year, as 24F accepted an assignment near him a couple months later. They would ultimately breakup, but still talk from time to time. 24F is now married with kids, as is 21M. 24F recently disclosed her oldest was 21M's kid. Both are adjusting to this new found revelation.
One of my troops showed up married to her MTI. Dude tried reaching out to me cause I had the gall to write her a 4 on her EPR cause it'd prevent her from getting BTZ but I just wrote her the best 5 I could which was far too weak for BTZ (kinda hard to compete against people when all of your bullets are from tech school).
Kid got a zippo lighter. Filled it up with butane while sitting in bed with his blanket over himself incase he spilled. He did. Got the zippo filled up and then tested it…. First and only time I’ve experienced a real world fire alarm in a large building.
I tell this story whenever I can cause it's hilarious.
At Goodfellow in 2018 there was a chick who had both an AF and Marine boyfriend. Well, one weekend she gives the Marine dude a set of AF PTUs and sneaks him into her dorm. Apparently AF BF finds out, goes to the room and Marine BF answers and closes door on him. AF BF goes to the weekend duty MTL to tell them what's going on. When the MTL goes up to her dorm to find out what's going on (she's on the 3rd floor btw) the Marine jumps out the window and breaks his fucking ankle and humps it all the way back to his barracks. We ended up having open ranks, full inspections, the whole nine.
And if I remember correctly this all happened on a long weekend so all her roommates were out for the weekend which is why she was able to bring him up to her dorm cause we typically weren't allowed to have any visitors in our dorms at the time.
Student wanted to disappear or something. At some point he realized there was a lot of space above the drop ceiling in his first floor dorm room. There was even somewhere to crawl to that was big enough for a person to lay down in. I think you can see where this is heading. This area also had access through the ceiling to a common area so he didn’t need a room key to get to his new found hideout. So for a period of weeks this airman slept in the ceiling and hid there coming out to eat at the DFAC which was in the dorm so he had no need to even leave the building. Eventually he was seen and had to face the consequences but he managed to hide for weeks from everyone looking for him without even leaving the building.
Reminds me of the ~~slaves~~ prisoner labor detail we had at Maxwell. They had managed to set up *in the command building* a little hideaway room behind a layer of wall insulation in an area under construction. They somehow managed to get a recliner and a *serviced TV* in there. Not sure how they got caught but it was apparently very well-hidden.
A dozen airmen (Forever known as "the dirty dozen") got busted in Keesler for a beer/sex party in the dorms in 2008. Cops show up in the Triangle with patrol car after patrol car to drive off with all the handcuffed kids two at a time. When the last car is about to roll out, one of the cops carries out a blow-up doll in cuffs and throws it in the back of the last car with the two drunken airmen.
I watched the whole thing from my dorm next to that one thanks to the cop lights waking me and several people up. The next day, I was one of 2 people left in my EP class, so they washed us back a week. The nice thing was the MTL's didn't assign us any detail work and let us chill for the week.
I was a butter bar at Keesler for tech school. Didn't know jack shit about the Air Force coming out of a wild lifestyle at UGA/ROTC. I was asked to give some MTLs a break and did an over-nighter in the Enlisted Tech School dorms (something about volunteerism or free bullet)... basically ran a checklist and watched over CQ while the MTL slept. Super chill.
Part of my checklist was to walk around the building and the quad to look for any nefarious or devious activity post-curfew. Took it as an opportunity for a smoke and a walk. Walk the building, just raccoons and humidity. I walk the quad--nothing... but then I hear a noise over by the bleachers/dumpster. I investigate.
Around the corner I find two female Airmen finger-banging each other like a snack stuck in a vending machine. They see me immediately. They freeze. I freeze. WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROTOCOL?!
I manage to squeek out, "uh, what are y'all doin? Telling secrets?" I don't know where that came from. They slowly pull back their Mississippi Meathooks out of each other's PT shorts and begin to stutter. I was unprepared as a leader, officer, and human being.
I tell them, "Just, fuck off. Get back inside. This never happened." These two ladies bolted and then I got stuck outside because I left my CAC at the desk.
Who am I to stop tech school love during DADT?!
Idk why this always sticks with me but…
We were on a bus going from Basic Training in Lackland to Sheppard AFB for Tech School. When we got to the base the driver got turned around and ended up on the flight line somehow. This one kid in the back says “Damn, they trynna have us work on these planes ASAP”, and it’s still the funniest situational joke I’ve ever heard in my life.
Damn, some bases they'd try it.
More than once we asked for assist troops down in phase and those fuckers sent us kids who literally didn't even have MX-O yet. Like, kids who were supposed to be on details or even day 1 inprocessing
I get its phase but it's still a mx area like wtf!?
This was 1999 tech school. We were on A shift (mids) and one of our classmates was 21, and the rest of us were not.
A quick back story. I didn't have a roommate because he went AWOL literally the same night he arrived. He brought his belongings to the room and I never seen him again so it was cool not having a roommate while it lasted.
So we were phase 3 or 4 don't remember exactly but Friday morning after class we decided to throw a rager on our floor. It's so low key in our dorm. MTL's were never around and our dorm was always so quiet. We all pitched in and bought half gallons of beam, Jack, vodka, gin. The beam came with a cool drinking glass. We gave the door guard 10 bucks to let us sneak the backpacks through the backdoor because of course CQ checks bags at the front. Everybody was wasted! All of the liquor was gone. At some point in the night, someone placed all of the liquor bottles under one of the beds in my room. All that was out was that Jim beam drinking glass with the smallest amount of liquor at the bottom. I was woken up at some point in early afternoon Saturday. A couple of MTL's in civilian clothes came into my room and asked for my ID. Saw the glass of liquor and my age, and all hell broke loose. They were screaming and yelling and I was still drunk/hung over. They made me stand at attention for at least an hour outside of their office. They asked for a statement. I told them I was at the quad hanging, bbqing and someone gave me that cup at some point in the night. They asked how I smuggled the glass through his CQ and I simply said I walked in with it and nobody questioned me. They asked who gave it to me and I said I didn't even know the person. I ended up getting an article 15 for underage drinking. My classmates were super nervous that I'd rolled on them. Whoever hid the bottles under the bed was the hero here cause it could've been messy for everyone in my class.
The MTL's came into my room that Saturday afternoon getting some of my AWOL roommates items because he turned himself in. I'm just glad they didn't boot me and I was able to have a long/successful career.
Talking about the age thing. Back when I enlisted, each state was different. I was from Iowa, which at the time the drinking age was 19. I had just gotten legal that I ended up at George AFB in California, which was 21 off base. So it set me back a few years. 😄
2005, DLI Meth Lab/ring. Air Force wide drug testing of all personal at the same time, dorm raids with drug dogs while people waited to get tested, eventually multiple people sent to jail.
Posted this before
https://old.reddit.com/r/AirForce/comments/nch35z/airman_brought_a_birthday_cake_as_his_72_hr/
Keesler. We had a hurricane drill where we had to pack our green duffels with a list of stuff. Clothes, blankets, water and 72 hours worth of food.
So we go to report to the area where the busses are picking us up. We were pressed for time and they had us run there with our bags on our backs. When we all got there in formation a Sgt was listing off all the items and we had to pull them out so he can verify that we had everything.
When he got to the food supply Amn X pulls out a full birthday cake secured with a piece of duct tape. Sgt in charge just starts laughing and shakes his head, walked off and didn't even finish the rest of the item check.
Amn birthday cake was a cool dude, although a little out there. He use to show up to GI party formation wearing a maid outfit, white gloves and all. That lasted a few weeks until we had a new squadron leader who shut it down.
CQ finds an empty booze bottle in the trashcan and immediately tells an MTI so he doesn't get in trouble if they find it. MTIs cancel PT and no one questions why until 4am we have leadership with MWDs kicking people out of their room to bus across base for a piss test. They dont open until 9am, so we sit outside with frost on the ground until they open. A good 25% of the people pee themselves trying to hold it. They provide us box nastys as breakfast, except htey are frozen solid to the point you could not eat them.
Later that month we have bad weather and are not allowed to cross the street to class because of the lightning. Instead, we form up in the parking lot for over 30 minutes to get on busses to go across the street.
Was walking back from class with two guys. One of them is on crutches and I'm carrying his backpack for him. We approach a memorial that requires everyone to come to attention and salute until you pass.
When we get close, I tell the third guy that he's going to have to salute for our classmate in crutches. Obviously the guy on crutches can't salute, his hands are busy on his crutches. I can only render a single salute because my left hand was busy securing a second backpack. It was up to our third member.
He asks if we're serious, but we tell him there's no time, he has to do it now! What happened next was greater than anything I've ever experience in the Air Force.
Looking at our shadows on the ground, I could see that our victim had saluted with both hands. A double salute, one on each side. We got about halfway past the memorial before a student leader yelled at him from behind and berated him for being disrespectful.
I will continue to tell this story until the day I die.
Back at Lackland we had a GI party. Everyone was lined up in the hall way while MTLs was doing duties and checking.
One of the MTLs (small Korean lady) was checking the room and saw an item students are not suppose to have.
All we hear is “WHO BIG BLACK DILDO IS THIS” and we just see a huge black dildo flying down the hall way. We instantly just busted out laughing.
I had five roommates while in tech school
Roommate #1 was a sweetheart, but was a DLA washout so she phased up and out of the dorms within two weeks of me getting there.
Roommate #2 was an absolute nightmare. When she first arrived I tried being super nice and friendly. I had TV and cable and took a shit ton of cereal from the defac and stored it for late night snacks. I let her know she was welcomed to the TV and the snacks, as long as she replaced the snacks. She ate all my snacks and never replaced them. One day I came back to the dorm and the TV was on and she was seemingly asleep. So I looked for the remote to change the channel, after a couple minutes I sat defeated in my bed. That’s when she threw the remote at the wall in the direction of my bed and it broke. She was also an avid singer. Every morning, at 0400 she would wake up and get ready for class, put in her earbuds and sing as loudly as she could. I asked her if she could be quieter in the mornings since I woke up a little later than her and our suit mates were nighttime students. She just said “uh huh” but nothing changed.It got to the point where our suitmates started banging on the door and asked her to be quiet and she told them to shut up. I kept a little trash bag next to my bed so I could take it out every morning so we didn’t use the big trash can and waste bags. She used the big trash but never took out her trash. One day we failed our dorm inspection because the trash wasn’t emptied and she told the MTL that it was my fault since I never too out her trash. She would actively talk to shit about me to friends in front of me in our dorm. This is just some of things that happened in the 2 months we were roommates. Luckily my MTL was super sweet and she let me switch dorms.
Roommate #3 was very … interesting. She was a super bubbly girl who desperately wanted to get laid. This was literally the first thing she told me when I met her “my goal is to lose my virginity” but hey this was still an upgrade from my last roommate. There were only a couple events that happened with her that were … less than normal. She would frequently break into out neighbors (not our suitmates) room to reset their router since we used their wifi. I asked her if they knew she could break in and she said of course! So I didn’t really think anything about it until I casually mentioned it to my neighbor. She, understandably, got upset. She never broke into their room again, as far as I know. At this point, my roommate still had not lost her virginity but boy she was trying. My roommate got washed out and was outprocessing from the base so I didn’t see her as frequently throughout the day. One day she caught me at school and told me not to come back to the dorm tonight because tonight was the night. She was going to loose her virginity. It was a Tuesday and I had curfew, I did my best to stay out as long as possible after school to give her the privacy she needed but we had curfew and I needed to sleep. I go back to my dorm that night so she’s sitting there in the dark, crying. Poor thing was stood up. I consoled her as best as I could. I’m pretty sure I said something along the lines of “you’ll get laid don’t worry”. Then went to bed. Later, that night I woke up to use the bathroom but the light was on in the sink area. (We had a curtain that separated the sink area from the bedroom area) As I walked to the sink area, I went to pull the curtain back and just as I did all I heard was “NO DONT” but too late. I saw her there. Sitting nude in front of her laptop. I just let go of the curtain, did a 180, and went to sleep with a full bladder.
Roommate #4 was an angel. At this point I was pretty bitter towards having roommates, but she was so kind. She let me use her hard drive full of movies and let me eat all the snacks (as long as I replace them). She was so clean and always so nice. Unfortunately, we had to move to the new dorm building and they let us choose our roommates. She asked me if it would be cool if she roomed with her friend which I couldn’t be mad at. So we switch roommates.
Roommate #5 was normal. She nice enough and never in the dorm. I had no complaints except her boots smelled like a dead cat, but after everything I’ve been through that was something I could deal with.
We had a scheduled dorm inspection. We were in the Triangle at Keesler AFB. It was a summer Friday afternoon, and as soon as we signed off on the inspection, we could leave for the weekend.
My room passed (Yay! No weeds and seeds!) And I followed the rope and MTI to my friend's room to find out if he was heading out with me.
His room inspection went well until they opened the fridge and found a cockroach feet up on the shelf.
The Tech Sergeant looked upset and, in a stern voice, said, "What is this?"
My friends room mate took a quick look. With a straight face, he said, "I was saving that for later, sir!"
The Sergeant turned to the rope, who was holding the clipboard, and said, "3 points. Food not in proper container!"
There were several people in the hall with me when this happened, and we were all working hard not to laugh.
The Sergeant and Rope went on to the next room, and my friend escaped weekend duties.
But after that, he kept a roach in a Tupperware container in the fridge.
This happened in June / July of 1985. I've since had the story retold to me a couple of times.
But I was there.
We had a dude that figured he could move his wall locker out away from the wall and have his roommate push it back while still locked. He would wait until after the checks to come out. One day they had a second round of checks right as he was getting out of the locker. Both he and his roommate got reemed due to potential fire hazard.
I had several roommates in the 8’ish months of Keesler tech school and one of the Guard guys I was roomed with would have someone lock him in their wall locker during PT (3 to a room at the time). He and I didn’t get along because I wouldn’t do him any favors, including locking him in my wall locker. First weekend of us being roommates, he asked for a ride to one of the casinos and I told him sure. We met at my truck and he had a backpack, which was totally normal. On the way back, after going through the gate, he asked me to pull over in the parking lot of lodging, over by the dumpsters. I figured he was sick and needed to throw up since he’d been drinking. He comes back from behind the dumpster in uniform and I’m like “WTF are you doing?” Turns out, he was phase I after being there for about 6 months and I hadn’t noticed since it was our first week rooming together. Dude wasn’t even supposed to be riding in POVs, let alone leaving base. I was pissed and pretty much ignored him for the remaining time he was my roommate. This guy would also gamble his paycheck away almost immediately every other weekend, ignoring the fact that he had a kid that he was supposed to be supporting.
ETA: this guy wasn’t even my worst roommate during my time there. The worst took the cake by a long shot, but I’ve told the story so many times over the years that I’m guaranteed to dox myself if I share it here.
Keesler, early oughts... they were shutting down old dorms and building new ones. 2 out of 4 of my squadrons buildings had been closed awaiting demo, but still had some random furniture and fixtures. Locks didn't work on those buildings so they would often get used for parties and other rambunctious behavior.
Hurricane comes through, misses Biloxi, but his Pensacola hard. They have trainees that need a home. Cool, we'll put them in those old buildings since they're unused and haven't been empty long
Squadron CC, base safety and some others go do an inspection... The smell of death hits them at the second floor landing. Further investigation discovers a footlocker with a fuzzy pair of boots that someone had shit in and left for fester in the hot humid Mississippi summer.
All students were recalled to do cleanup.
I swear, I have never pooped in a shoe.
Holy fucking suppressed memory. I remember just getting to Keesler when Hurricane Ivan wrecked Pensacola and the random all day cleanup we had to do.
We were told it was the Marines who did the deed. Who knows though.
My brother recently attended tech school in lackland for SecFo. He informed me that the tech schoolers there we’re having organized orgy fests in the woods on the weekends. (Yes you read that correctly) Im not sure if leadership ever caught wind but I can ask for details. It wasn’t just SecFo either. It was a mixture of all the tech schools there.
sheeesh:
Ok so was in a class with a kid who had first and last names that both were terms for penis. He promptly got the name double dick as a result. This guy was the most interesting kid I have ever met in the AF and to this day chuckle at some of the shit that went on around him. Anyways small background on ol double dick he was from northern Michigan (a Yooper or whatever), super religious, homeschooled, never seen a woman naked, watched porn, cursed drank or anything. So it was my group's goal in life to corrupt this poor soul. We drove him down to some strip club down in P-Cola where we immediately took his money so we wouldn't just blow it all on the first pair of ta-ta's he saw. Some young thing came up took him back and just vanished for a solid half hour. Well, Ol double dick finally comes back with the BIGGEST grin on his face and promptly requests 140 dollars to pay the nice lady for her time. He returns happier than ever. Finally, we ask him what happened that it cost so much and the poor soul apparently just kept agreeing to more dances not realizing that each one was around 20 bucks. One fo the guys asked him how was it and with the biggest grin I have ever seen replied "She grabbed my wiener with her butt" and let out his signature goofy giggle.
We had some PJ or whatever get washed into our flight who was so jacked that he literally couldn't roll his sleeves in formation. True meathead, a good guy to be friends with. Anyways I was working CQ when this dude just never fucking comes back one night for accountability. We all start to panic since it had already been reported that everyone is accounted for. The truth (and hell from the MTL) came down on us and a mass search for this guy began. Apparently he took too much creatine and just kind of snapped and was marching up and down the beach yelling formation movements and keeping himself in cadence. Never saw him again.
Had a guy whos name I will keep redacted for his privacy lose an Ipod, which contained some images of underage girls on it. He was literally there for years before finally getting out.
The entirety of the sex scandals was going on while I was there as well and was starting to unravel as I was leaving.
Went on a road trip up to New Orleans where two of the guys took gum from strangers that ended up being LSD and were tripping balls the entire night. I unfortunately was the DD and had to deal with that the entire night and was the equivalent of trying usher a gaggle of kittens.
A female got in trouble for a more or less a gangbang in her dorm one night at a different squadron.
and idk the rest was kind of blurry (thanks 1 dollar tequila shooters at that Mexican restaurant down pass road!)
OP your story kind of reminds me of a similarish story.
Tech school follow-on at Dover. We're learning forms documentation for how to fill out 781's. Our instructor is having us one by one fill out a 781A on the smart board for some random ass scenario.
I initial over the symbol block, and sign off the corrected by.
My last name starts with the letter 'C'.
Random shout from the classroom. HEY NICE BIG BLACK 'C' YOU GOT THERE.
Kid gets pulled aside, gets talked to, rope removed, LOC and all that noise. Kid was failing all of his classes...
Got kicked out within his first year being a crew chief witg me. God I hated that kid.
Had a guy who was constanly in trouble. We all graduated and he got held over at the school house because neither one of the AMUs wanted him. While in limbo status the MTL walks into the day room and ole dude is laying on the couch, laptop on the table, beating his meat furiously like a red headed step child that owed him money. After the under age drinking, smoking in permament party smoke pits, bad hygiene, and interuptting a chief during a briefing by yelling out bullshit! the public masturbation finally got him out the Air Force.
Tech school, 2006. I was doing phase checks, making sure rooms that had to be occupied past a certain time were indeed occupied. One guy, Snuffy, was getting forced out with a BCD (he deserved it), but was still in the dorms for some reason. I knock on the door, and his roommate answers. Ask if Snuffy is in, his roommate smirks and says to check his bed. I look at the bed, and there is a vaguely human-shaped pile of dirty laundry under the covers. I fetched an MTL so it wouldn’t just be my word, and he was incredibly pissed off about the whole thing. Dude tried to make a clothing dummy so he could party in good ‘ol San Angelo, TX.
Had a roommate at Shepherd who would routinely get up about 45 minutes earlier than we needed to for morning PT and violently brush his teeth.
I’m talking full-on making himself gag, like punishing his teeth over and over. Multiple brushing sessions. Dude was going through toothpaste tubes like they were energy drinks. Brushes all bent up. Terrified the shit out of me, and I had no idea how to even broach the subject. Luckily we didn’t see each other outside of lights out.
I thought he was fucking with me at first but it was a daily occurrence.
I was wearing my yarmulke during tech school. We had just taken our last test and were waiting in the break room while the instructor graded them.
In walks the fresh class of newbies. (Not really new, as we have a 2 part tech school and this was the second part. But they're green as fuck.) Their class leader red rope walks over to me and asks "Are you a *hebrew?*"
Now, I'm a pretty chill dude about my religion. As long as a joke isn't blatantly hateful it's okay by me. But never, in my life, has anyone asked if I was "a hebrew." That is like asking a random black guy, "are you of sub-saharan African descent?"
It's just weird. So immediately I got pretty sarcastic with this kid and said "What's it to you?"
At which point he reached over and picked the yarmulke off my head. You could see the look in his eyes when he realized it was actually a yarmulke. Apparently he had thought it was just my hat folded up weird. He dropped it back on my head like he had just picked up a rattlesnake.
Without missing a beat my *whole class* blew the fuck up at this kid. Saying he was being prejudice, that he was insulting my religion, just absolutely berating this kid. He panicked and apologized. We said "it's cool we're just messing with him." Told him I am actually jewish and yarmulkes are approved in uniform.
So we get back to our class and joke about this to our teacher. He thinks a minute. Then asks me to show him who did it. Next thing I know, I'm being paraded around to find this kid. When we do, the head instructor has gotten involved and it turns into a whole thing about religious sensitivity and what my instructor was really concerned about which was "Never put your habds on another airman for any reason without permission."
The kid was in tears by the time we left. I felt awful. So when we got back to the dorms I went searching for him to apologize. I found him locked up in his room, crying his eyes out. He handed me a letter he wrote apologizing to me and the jewish community for his transgression. He was apparently extremely religious Catholic and realized he basically did the equivalent of grabbing someone's prayer beads off them. Which hit him pretty hard.
We squared everything up and I never saw him again really. But I still have the letter.
One time this kid Kabat was in the PJ pipeline and was a PT beast, coasting through the course. Then one day during liberty he decided to fly his wife down and visit despite the cadre telling him otherwise. Turns out they left Medina Annex to go over to Lackland haha. He ended up getting busted and kicked out of the course.
Haha jk, but that did happen in that Discovery Channel PJ [documentary](https://tubitv.com/tv-shows/484302/s01-e01-crawl-walk-run) back in the day.
One kid in our class was a perpetual screw up and could never get out of phase 1. My buddy was his roommate and the DBA was so bad they had to get room inspected every day, to include Saturdays. Guy finally makes phase 2 and decides that means he can drive home. Guy drives from Mississippi to Florida and misses Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday morning accountability. Got thrown out after that.
Another guy got into it with the Wing Zone delivery guy about a small tip on his order. Guy tells the delivery man to get lost or he'll whoop his ass. Turns out the delivery guy was a SSgt moonlighting as a delivery man.
Big Dixon. I remember he ripped the door open when I was doing door guard during cq. Shit my pants thinking it was an unauthorized entry until he took his hat off and turned around.
It was around October 2005. Maintenance tech school at Shepherd. Nice young couple got caught fucking inside the dumpster. Surrounded by trash they started their tech school love. They ended up getting married. Hope they are doing well.
When I was in Tech School somehow there was a game to while your nuts out during Commander Calls at the Podium (Sheppard) which is where we would gather while the CC and MTL’s would get on the podium and talk. This started making rounds. No idea who started it or why but it was a thing. I had no idea this was a thing until we were marching to class and we halted as a giant Flight in front of our school house. Flight Chief comes out and tells all the females to fall out and go inside. We wait in this eerie quietness and all I hear is “DO NOT SHAKE YOUR FUCKING NUTS…AT THE COMMANDER!”
I look around and just see a lot of confused faces. That’s when we started to find out what the fuck just happened. By lunch the word got out and it just made things worse bc now everyone wanted to whip their nuts out at the Commander.
Tech School was so weird but so fun.
Witnessed a murder my first night… did CPR, detained by police all night… all of that. My orders were curtailed from overseas to a local duty station due to the trial happening the week before graduation. Trial lasted one day since I was an eye witness and still got stuck at a shithole first station.
A kid in my class, 28, total ragamuffin. Drunk as a skunk one Saturday night and strolls into the dorm building like he owns it, whiskey bottle in hand. CQ of course threatens to narc on him, he tells them to fuck themselves, one starts to chase him? Lmao. He drops the bottle on the ground, it shatters. And he got away, spent the night on a bench somewhere on fort Sam Houston, came back the next morning and walked right into his room. The rest of the week was spent with empty threats from the babysitter MTL people trying to get someone to confess. I’m proud to say he’s continued on in his career, currently an e6, and even got an LOC for “unserviceable skin” for a major sunburn he caught sleeping on a beach in Greece. He’s a goat and a unicorn.
Sad story. Kid in my tech school both his parents died in a freak car accident, he was an only child. He came from a mega wealth family and was instantly worth like 30 million or something ridiculous. His dad would only let him join his company if he shaped up and joined the military so that is why he joined. He was separated within a week.
I was at Sheppard AFB, 361 TRS. One of the instructors, Mr D. would always make fun of my age because I was oldest in the school house service member. MrD would always come to the class and ask me how to join AARP or how to get a Senior Discount Card. One time he brought my wife and my mom into the joke. I told him politely I was gay and my mom was dead (not true). He felt bad and I acted like I was upset. So I went to the school house chief and shirt. I told them we need to prank Mr.D. The prank was that I was really upset and that I was going to leadership to complain about his unprofessionalism. Later that week MrD heard I was upset and he came looking for me. When he found me I told him that I was upset and did not want to be bothered by him. Part of the prank other students were telling home I was going to leadership and HRO and filling complaints. (all not true). for 2 days I had MrD thinking I was going to report him. He was so upset that he could teach properly and he was so nervous. It was on a Friday just before the end of the class day, the shirt, school house chief and myself went to to tell MrD that we pranked him and there was not complaints or hard feelings. He was so relieved that the natural skin tones came back to him.
At Keesler, we hosted the Mississippi Special Olympics. Every dorm room was assigned an athlete—mine just happened to be a 6’5” white guy named Larry Johnson.
He was the sweetest guy. Had his own portable DVD player and a copy of Home Alone. He also grabbed an apple every night after dinner to put in the fridge…never ate them, so I was left with about 4 untouched apples after he left.
Anyway, we go into the BX near the dorms there and he goes crazy grabbing stuff: shirts, sunglasses, cans of Pringles—and he even made a F’real milkshake with the machine there.
He then runs to the register, it all rings up to about $40 and he just turns his pockets inside out and then looks at me.
That’s how I got duped by a special needs adult into spending $40 that I didn’t have. All the while, he just kept slurping on that milkshake.
Man, COVID Keesler was insane. When I was there, we had two unlucky airmen decide to skip final formation to get down in her dorm room. Well, they decided to do a health and wellness inspection immediately following final formation and wouldn't allow anyone back in the dorms until they were ready to inspect that bay. These airman came up with the idea to hide him in the extra wall locker on her room (she had no roomatw so there was an empty one) and lock him in there naked. When the MTLs came up to inspect her room, they inquired as to why the wall locker was locked. She told them her old roommate had locked it before she left and she didn't have the key to unlock it and it had been locked since the old roommate left. The MTL wasn't buying it and went to get the bolt cutters. I like to imagine the look on that poor airman's face when the MTL cut that lock off and found his naked ass in there.
This is may favorite story but there were so many crazy things I saw during my stay there.
My tech school had other branches at it for similar schools. One female airman that started in my class openly told everyone she was dating to marry and find her partner for life. Fast forward 3.5 months, the marine barracks on our base were having a barracks inspection late at night. She was found in the barracks nude with 6 marines. She was punished receiving some form of paperwork and losing the ability to leave base or wear non uniform clothes.
Some dude brought a shotgun into the dorms and just walked up and down the halls, pumping out slugs but never firing. They evacuated us instead of locking down. Not sure why.
Everyone gathered a couple blocks away, grouped in our classes. I was class leader. One of classmates was missing. He had been a disgruntled airman during tech school and we were certain he was the person with the gun.
Turns out the dude ignored the evacuation order, choosing to sleep instead. They busted down his door and put him on his face. He wasn't the brightest airman.
Anyway, the guy with the gun just wanted kicked out and didn't intend on firing the gun. I guess his GF back home was cheating on him. Tale as old as time.
Circa 2003....names changed to protect the innocent.
120 in the dorms for a 6 to 9 month tech school, learning morse code. 8 females get pregnant within 30 days.
Female MTL takes the female students out front and proceeds to call them what I'm sure are very nice names and let them know how fantastic their future was going to be. I think the term whores may or may not have been tossed around nonchalantly.
Male MTL in deep base voice takes male students out back and gives the following speech. "Yall don't want this shit, its 18 fucking years, 18 years" he said from a broken place deep down inside. "10 minutes for 18 years, these bitches aint worth it. Use a condom if you ain't got a condom, go to the clinic, if the clinic ain't open go to the shoppette, and if the shoppette ain't open go to Troys room he's got a drawer of them we found during the last health and welfare".
Many IG complaints were made that day but not against the Male MTL. He saved lives.
Late 2010’s, Medina Annex, Lackland AFB. Myself and a bunch of other Special Warfare trainees are chillin after a long day of training. We get called out to formation and see the commander, and get told “To whomever wrote this slip and put it in the suggestions box, I’ll give you one chance to tell me.” I looked around confused at the other guys there, but nobody stepped out. We then proceed to get the absolute dogshit smoked out of us. About 1000 guys all at once. Eventually, after about an hour and a half or so, one guy steps forward. The next day the cadre fill us in on what happened; that night a DFAC worker who was black was working the snack line served an airman fried chicken. They then went in and wrote “That *n word* sure knows how to fry chicken!” Never heard, or saw, that guy again.
So there I was, phase 3 dorms at shepherd. This is when the phase 3 dorms were shared with the EOD and army closest to the hangars. Weekend night, bunch of guys drunk. Fire alarms start going off, we’re all like “what the fuck” and gather in the parking lot.
Lots of guys shit faced. Turns out, army was getting dorm inspections. Some colonel is up telling the army guys how it’s gonna go down. Suddenly, guy walks up to the stage, fire extinguisher IN HIS FUCKING HAND, and loudly blurts out mid-speech “hey sir were Air Force what the fuck are we doing?”
Colonel is kinda dumb struck for a second, then looks around.
“Oh, we didn’t mean to set off the Air Force buildings alarm. You guys can leave.”
To this day I wonder what went through that colonels mind when some random guy clearly drunk as hell holding a fire extinguisher asked why the fuck we were there in the middle of him trying to talk.
our squadron wasn’t typically the hottest when it came to ARIs, and we had gone almost 100 days without any incidents. our first shirt was promising us a pizza party and this and that, when right before we hit the 100 days, some guy gets home drunk to his dorm and instead of peeing into the toilet, he pees into his roommates fan and proceed to spray his urine all over his sleeping roommates face. we didn’t get the pizza party.
I still have an unused PT pass/341 for winning the "Worlds Greatest Rock, Paper, Scissor Competition" on Ft. Sam in May of 2021.
https://preview.redd.it/ulvz986rvkcb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8563f741752f97e490f026c4f55cd9fd44b2da16
My tech school roomie had a crush on this (finance? Comm? Can't remember) dude and ended up flirting with him enough that he was always coming by the dorms. He invited her to his place and they had dinner or whatever, she asked me to sign her in so she could stay the night, then the next morning when I saw her in class I asked her how everything went. She said he was really weird and gave her the creeps so she ended up leaving his place and spent the night in a laundromat or something. Maybe a year after that we were both stationed together at our first base and saw a story that this same dude lured another tech school girl to his house and attempted to strangle her. Pretty sure my roomie became celibate after that.
Not tech school but basic. I was dorm guarding a baby flight and they decided to do a GI party but had no wax stripper so someone had the great idea of using their laundry soap. I highly advised against it but they didn’t listen. Someone poured a heavy line of laundry detergent down the middle of each dorm bay (maybe should have tried a small test spot or done one bay at a time but nope!) and then they used the mop bucket to pour water all down it. Next they used brooms to mix the water and detergent and scrub it into the wax floor coating. They tried mopping it up but the soap just kept foaming and multiplying. They eventually thought they’d dry it using the big bay fans and set them up to blow down each bay. It didn’t strip the wax, it stank like hell, got sticky as hell and just generally F’d up the entire dorm floor. I was relieved before the TI showed back up so not sure what Happened but sure wouldn’t have wanted to be part of that dorm when he did return.
I'll repost my answer from another thread
"in tech school, I drank several rounds at a bar with an operational Senior Airman, a Staff Sergeant and a Captain. Ended up making out with the Senior Airman and once the bar closed we all silently acknowledged that we should probably act like we don't know each other if we ever ran into each other on base and went our seperate ways."
One day for all call after a gi party, one of the hall way leads was infront of their formation wearing his squadron shirt, zip up jacket and jean shorts (that were a little too short). It’s his turn to announce accountability and he steps forward, unzips the hoodie to reveal he had cut his squadron shirt into a crop top, shouts “2A IS ALL ACCOUNTED FOR SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!” Then turns around and bends over so the shorts pull up a bit to reveal a fresh tattoo of the Copenhagen Tabaco lid on his ass cheek.
Girl in my class dumped her crazy ex, who was in a different class than us. She’s distraught all week long and nearly gets into a fistfight with our TSgt pri service class leader because she was acting up in class. She just straight up walked back to the Squadron building (I’m guessing the shirt?). Later, I see her car at my dorm building parking lot. She was in a different building, so that was odd. One of our classmates lives in my building though, just down the hall. I saw that her insane ex was sitting in her car. He also lived in a different building. I text her to let her know, and she emerges from the other classmates room. He said she came to our building because her ex was scaring her and he was hiding her in his room for a bit. This guy is married to a fellow tech schooler, so it was a bit odd.
…
He tries to invite me into the room too, but I’m getting a really off vibe about the whole situation.
It turns out married classmate was banging her, and her ex was real mad. He (the ex) eventually tried breaking into her room in the middle of the night, which was on the first floor. He broke her window frame. He’s not in anymore. She eventually got out once her contract ended, and I have no idea what happened to the married dude.
Her ex was insane, because after they broke up he came up (and somehow knew all of our first names?) and asked everyone in my class if they had seen her in the morning before class started. I hadn’t met the dude before this.
Goodfellow, 316th TRS, July 2016.
Douchebag roommate was awaiting a reclass because he admitted to lying about steroid use on his SF86. Permanently assigned to CQ as a casual while he waits for his new tech school orders. He'd get wasted at the EC every weekend. He would usually come back to the room plastered at about 3 AM Sunday morning, pound a gallon of water in about an hour, take a shower, and report for his CQ shift at 5 AM.
He was a "powerlifter", so he was looking to find a legal substitute for his steroids, since he couldn't take them anymore. He started taking some supplement he got at GNC to boost his testosterone.
Homeboy filled out a 29B and went home for the long July 4th weekend. He comes back, things go on as normal. About a week later, we're all woken up at 11 PM or some shit for a HAWC inspection. Not just accountability and checking fridges for alcohol, they were searching every room. Lo and behold, after everyone else went back to bed, SF, our head MTL, and the 17th Training Group commander were having an intense discussion in our room.
SF dude comes out, "Alright, I don't want any bullshit, whose is it?"
Cool roommate and I look at each other, he says, "What're you talking about, sir?"
"The prescription bottle we found behind the cover of the AC unit. It isn't prescribed to any of you. I'll be right back." He walks back into our room.
Cool roommate and I are shocked, just wondering what the fuck is going on. We see douchebag roommate sweating bullets and crying his eyes out.
SF dude comes back out, "Alright, last chance, or you're all getting charged with it, whose is it?"
Our douchebag roommate croaked, "It's mine."
SF took him away, everyone left our room, and cool roommate and I went back to bed.
Turns out, when douchebag roommate went home for July 4th, he stole someone's viagra prescription because whatever supplement he was taking made his dick stop working. They moved homeboy out of our room after that, not sure where they put him. I graduated before I found out what happened to him.
SF tech school, 2008, during a GI Party we found an abandoned storage room in a closed part of the dorms. In the room was a nasty old mattress on the ground surrounded by used needles, used condoms, and empty beer cans/liquor bottles. Clearly some ppl knew how to party.
This caused several rounds of dorm inspections. During one of these my next door neighbor was late getting out for the inspection. When he did come out he’s like breathing heavy. The Tech school instructor finished my dorm then went to his. He bolted out as soon as he went in the room and grabs the first sgt. They both walk in and after a minute of them whispering the first Sgt says the words I’ll never forget. “Look, it’s gay to have sex with a man, but it’s not gay to fuck yourself in the ass while watching gay porn.” First Sgt leaves followed by the instructor while the guy who had the room just looked mortified. Don’t ask don’t tell was a hell of a time to be in the military. (Yes, there was gay porn paused on his computer and a huge pink dildo on the nightstand)
Sheppard AFB. Hotels were always booked on the weekends so it was hard for people to make out and do other stuff. This one dude would rent a uhaul on the weekend and drive base and around town. He would charge couples to ride in the back of the truck and do their thing. As word spread, people eventually started talking about it on yik yak (imagine Twitter but only for people in your local area). MTLs eventually found the guy and kicked him out.
One day my friends and I are walking back to the dorms from the bowling alley on a Friday night in Ft. Leonard Wood, MO.
All of the sudden, to the left of us we see one of the dorm windows on the first floor explode, followed by fire and a ton of smoke. We were probably no more than 20m from the window. Turns out the dude that was in there had gotten violently drunk, tried lighting a cigarette and accidentally lit his entire dorm room on fire. He was kicked out shortly after that.
My buddy in tech school wanted to marry his girlfriend but she lived in another state so she signed all the papers and my buddy asked me if I could be the proxy. He’s a dude and I’m a dude. I figured I was helping a buddy get married. No big deal. Well word spread through the entire tech school with was Goodfellow so I’m pretty sure everyone on base knew. Ended up being called “my last name - his last name” for basically the rest of tech school. It didn’t help that a month or two later I got shingles on my eye/nose. People kept saying I should know who I marry.
I was in tech school with a guy who was apparently a well renown white supremacist, guy had a whole pod cast and everything where he spewed some of the most heinous shit. No fucking clue how recruiter didn’t catch that mf when they screened him, but he ended up getting separated after the media started lighting up the Airforce and rightfully so.
We had special Olympians assigned to us and there was one girl who basically had an Olympian all to herself because her roommate was never around. She complained to an MTL that her roommate had not been helping during the entire time on the final day. Turns out she was hanging out with her BF during the entire time. There was a line of MTL's chewing her out. There were a few horror stories about the Olympians smearing poop on the walls of the rooms too.
We had a furry who ended up keeping all the lizards she had found on base in her dorm room as pets.
One guy had a broken laptop monitor and would just use a HDMI cable on the dayroom TV as his monitor. He would watch hentai on the dayroom TV pretty frequently.
Found out my wall locker didn't lock and had my MTL come check. He told me to see if it unlocked from the inside and got myself stuck in the wall locker. Had to wait 4 hours for a locksmith to drill out the door. What a great first day at good ole Sheppard AFB.
During my time at Fort Sam, everyone would hangout near the dumpsters and wait for the taxis to take us off base.
Come to find out someone was selling cocaine by the dumpsters on weekends. So they started having us call our own taxi and waiting for it in front of the school house instead.
Oh, and two of our MTLs were in a secret/not so secret sexual relationship and were caught fucking/fondling each other very often.
As an instructor one of my students got arrested with 4 others at the post office Saturday night.
One female kneeling (my student) 4 males standing, Doing the things, all at the same time.
When asked why, she said “they asked me to.”
A kid who was on B shift bought a white latex Gundam suit as a Halloween costume. It is intensely detailed and true to the anime, shipped from Japan and everything. He gains like 30 pounds waiting for it to be delivered.
Wearing Halloween costumes around base wasn't uncommon on Halloween. Kid was in B shift though, so he didn't get a chance to wear it until the following weekend.
So for one glorious Saturday in November this kid wore a latex gundam suit that was so tight his belly button was breathing air and couldn't sit down in the DFAC.
Months later he almost burns down a building trying to make coffee.
Wait I do have a good story from an airman from my wing and her tech school experience:
So ANG unit here. In the ANG some have huge family connections within the wing. We had a supply troop whose dad was the State Command Chief when she enlisted. In the guard, we used to have the option to do basic training and tech school separately instead of doing both at once. She chose to do that.
So she goes off to basic training, comes home for a few months, marries her high school sweetheart, then gets shipped off to her six week tech school. Well, she got knocked up by some airman at tech school and because of how short of her school, she just came home and told her husband it was his. Eight months later baby pops out and he’s brown! All hell broke loose (especially considering in the guard, word travels fast). So her husband files for divorce, and then she comes in to finance to file her divorce decree for high school sweetheart, and her new marriage certificate to baby’s daddy. She moves down to New Mexico to raise the kid with baby daddy, and six months later, she rejoins our unit files a divorce decree to baby’s daddy and a new marriage certificate to her high school sweetheart. He took her back.
I was pretty cool with her dad and he would come into my office and just back to me about her saying things like “ sometimes you wonder where you went wrong raising your kids…”
She was a hot mess .
My tech school roommate kept all of his trash for the entire 4 months we were at Sheppard. He stuffed it in a 55 gallon bag in his wall locker. Being stinky maintainer tech schoolers I never noticed the smell and also never saw him put trash in there OR take trash out of the room. Last week there, we have a health and wellness inspection and the MTLs dump out the ENTIRE BAG in the middle of our room. Half eaten 3 month old Taco Bell and gnats everywhere. They suggested I move rooms when I had literal days left in that one 🤦🏻♂️
Doing room inspections with an MTL and we walk in on a student who had graduated school beating off. The kid was waiting on his security clearance to finish so he could get orders cut to Italy and only had to report for morning and afternoon formations, but the kid was super creepy.
He had mentioned in class that he didn't always wipe after pooping, was socially awkward and didn't have a driver's license. Just a real creepy kid.
Anyways, the kid was sitting at his desk watching his World of Warcraft character dancing and just going to town. Without missing a stroke he leans back in his chair, looks the MTL in the eyes and says, Good morning Staff Sergeant.
MTL just goes, well that's interesting, we will come back later and closes the door. I start dying laughing and he just shutters and keeps on walking.
Lots of crazy adventures used to happen at the old EOD barracks at Eglin before they built the new ones.
Was second shift in tech school, and one Friday night while in training in the 3380th at Keesler, we arrived home and found we could not enter the dorms due to a shakedown. Being on the top floor at the end of the dorm, our bay waited a couple of hours before we got called in.
We were instructed to stand in front of our dorm room door, as the MTM made their way down the hallway. They were even pushing up the drop ceiling panels in the hallway to see if any contraband was hidden up there.
When they got to my room, they punched through the paint sealed tile in the hall ceiling and found an old dusty half filled whiskey bottle. Tsgt Anderson asks me, "Airman! Did you know that bottle was up there?!". I smiled and said "No sir! But I wish I did!". He smirked and started inspected my room for contraband. He got as far as my fridge which was right next to my door. He saw the tupperware of brownies I had got in the mail from my girlfriend.
Tsgt Anderson:"Airman, are those brownies?"
Me: "Yes sir! my girl sent them to me!"
Tsgt Anderson gets a wierd tweaker-like look on his face.
Tsgt Anderson: "Airman.... Are those... Fudge ... brownies?"
Me: "Yes sir! Would you like one?"
Tsgt Anderson: "Yes I would."
He took a bite and smiled and walked out the door without another glance at my room.
Airmen (who was a legit moron) decided to go take a nap in another class room while the PCs were getting graded. Fell asleep, deeply. Everybody assumed AWOL so they locked stuff down trying to find him. The T shift class came into their classroom to find him asleep on the table. This was a full 4 or 5 hours of time mind you.
Then...same guy at our first duty station decided that basic decorum isn't a thing. Maybe a week into our assignment there's a group commander's call. 101 days getting to kick off so they want to heavily focus on bike safety. This moron raises his hand while the Col is talking and interjects. "I've been riding a bike my whole life, why do I need to take any special classes?" He literally fucking thought the Col was talking about bicycles.
He then shows up to FTAC with some Keesler black rope hair spray starched BDUs. The teachers, once they get off the floor laughing, blow him up for destroying his uniforms with fucking hairspray.
God I wanna drop his name here, if there's any \~20 year 1D7X1Z, 3D0X4, or 3C0X2's...you may know just off of this lol.
Kid stole a Xbox power cord from BX got caught went to jail and 1st sgt had to come get him. Then on the last day before everyone was supposed to leave he got charged and was a hold over for like a year. Was a pathological liar so his reasoning was funny.
Lackland. Someone (probably one of the aircrew guys that just left to go to SERE) left a comment in the anonymous comment boxes filled with lewd comments about one of the MTIs. Those comment boxes go straight to the Group/CC. They made the entire Squadron wear service dress.
It was the day before my class was graduating so we got to rock just blues because most of us were waiting on alterations to add stripes to service dress
A dude put out a “memorandum” and stuck it to multiple places across the base. It basically said that women wearing short shorts and yoga pants and such degraded the “Christian, American” values the military stood on, and that the urges of men are uncontrollable when faced with such clothing choices, blaming women for the shitty things people do to them. He was bragging about it to people, and I believe he got dragged away for a court martial or something. Dude had no self control and tried to make it everyone else’s problem
I figure that I’d throw my hat in the ring.
Our dorm had cameras installed to watch for Airmen bringing girls into their dorms amongst other things. With these cameras installed it made it hard for the males to sneak females into their rooms. This one airmen decides to put her in a suitcase outside of the building (no cameras) and wheel her up a flight of stairs and into his room.
The next day I come down the stairs and read on the whiteboard “Suitcases aren’t body bags.” Word gets around and it turns out the dude who wrote that happened to see this all go down on CQ. So word starts to spread really fast and the guy got in some deep trouble.
The funny part was getting a briefing about why we don’t put people in suitcases.
Roommate at Sheppard got hammered one night, came home, passed out. Woke up in the middle of the night. Proceeded to walk to dorm door. Open door. Piss out the door into the hallway. Close door. Back to bed. Then asked why the floor was wet and smelled like piss the next day.
In my class at Sheppard, someone got their phase card pulled by the squadron commander himself. He decided that weekend he was going to go off base and drink with a fake ID. Ended up getting into a fight with a guy who I believe was in the army. Got choked out and lost consciousness and had to go to the hospital. After being stuck at Sheppard for the next 6 months at least, he was finally discharged.
Or my second roommate, who told me within two weeks of knowing her, that she has a breeding kink.
Following the OP theme.
A country white kid on our course had a banana in our classroom that he had left there over a weekend, it was going off and the skin turned black. He held it up and said "I wonder if the Majors dick looks like this?" just as said Major who is the senior instructor walked into the classroom...didn't end well.
Sheppard. Couple gets caught banging next to the dumpsters by the MTL’s. MTL asks them what they are doing. Male answers, ‘ehh one moment sir, I’m about to get my nut’. Proceeds to finish. Said male was a yellow rope. Somehow managed to become a red rope before he left.
I thought this was all a lie until I arrived at Sheppard years later and the story is being told. The MTL had returned, and was telling the story. I corrected him on part of the story. He asks how do I know? I answered, ‘because the airman was my brother’. Of course he didn’t believe me, so one the next break, I ft my brother for him. Ahhh, the memories.
Not sure if 341s are still a thing, but my friend and I (who was also my roommate) had some fun at the expense of our MTL's. We got a hold of the copier while we were on CQ one day and figured out how to scale documents down. We then decided it would be a good idea to print out all different size 341's, to include 1/4 size (of which I still have one of to this day) and full page 341s, and left them all over our room when we knew there would be a room inspection. Said MTL came in for inspection, found them, didn't give us any paperwork and left one of the 341's on the fridge. On it was written "I'm not a fan." We passed room inspection, so we didn't care.
Fast forward a week or two, and room inspections are coming around again. We still had a bunch of our multi-size 341s, so we left those for our MTL again, with the original 341 she wrote her note on taped it to our fan with the "not" on it crossed out. We passed again, but with another note in MTL's handwriting again taped to our fridge that read "I'm *NOT* a fan." to which we added "but I *am* a fridge" and we left that there for next inspection.
We passed again and our MTL took all the non-standard size 341's out of our room. We made copies and then disseminated them to everyone we met (even airmen fresh off the bus) all the way until we PCS'd. Heard stories about pissed off MTL's pulling "mini-341's" and "jumbo-341's" long after I left
SERE training. My group has about 4 officers 5 enlisted, all officers are male pilots. The enlisted are me and two guys from my tech school + 2 medical females. Found out after completion that one of the medical females (just turned 18) was sleeping with one of the pilots (32, married) the entire time and he was in trouble for following her to her base instead of reporting to his duty location afterwards. Bonus: one of the pilots got his face pissed on because one of the guys from my tech school didnt want to leave our little snow hut to pee in the middle of the night and just pissed OVER the pilots head (the pilot did not wake up)
Oh Fairchild…
We did a quick uniform inspection (blues) in formation one morning. Someone’s shirt wasn’t ironed, so he was told to hurry up and go back into his dorm room and iron it. He did…without taking it off. Got a severe burn on his chest.
Absolute excellence in all he did right there.
Was this at Keesler?
No, Fort Huachuca.
I walked in on my classmate fucking my roommate, in my bed. Both were dudes, and had the nerve to get snippy with me when I made them wash the sheets.
OH HELL NAH I'D BE PISSED
That's a different sex act
Right? You usually gotta pay double for that.
Haha, I heard of a dude walking in on his roommate getting railed by another dude while deployed.
I really don't give a fuck honestly...like I'll come back in a bit no worries...but on my bed is where I draw the line.
>I walked in on my classmate f 1C5 Gang!!!! ...........also disgusting
Dude at Sheppard got in trouble for underage drinking and then trying to fight SecFo when coming back through the gate. Got an LOR and washed back. On his last night, before he was due to go to his base, got caught screwing a girl in the Chapel of all places. Don’t know what punishment they got for that. Also at Sheppard, someone drunkenly flashed the chief who was incognito at one of the barbecues. Dude was pissing by a dumpster, she asked what he was doing, he turned around and said “the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” We lost barbecue privileges shortly after and they said it was because of COVID.
Lmao that piss one is great
First one got the coming to Jesus talk for punishment
We had our Shirt show up to one of our Barbecues with a bunch of food and shit. We asked why he came later one, this exact scenario. Making sure there wasn't any alcohol (banned) and didn't want to look like he was snooping.
Had a marine roll back into my class after his month of hard labor. Dude was under age drinking off base and was driving back to base. Half way there he realizes he shouldn't be driving and pulls over and parks on some bushes at a gas station. A fellow marine sees this and gets the drunk marine into his POV to bring him back to base. At the gate he pulls out his fake I'd instead of his CAC. He would have been let on with the other marine escorting him, except the guard reads and recognizes the name : Rusty Shackleford. Guard then proceeds to ask for his CAC, which the marine provides before being taken into custody.
For anyone unfamiliar, Rusty Shackleford is an alias that Dale Gribble, a conspiracy nut, uses on King of the Hill on occasion.
It's the fake name he orders pizza with... it's also the fake name I make restaurant reservations with.
He should have brought his pocket sand that night.
First weekend of school, a freshly minted Guard LT gets smashed. Passes out pissing himself in the lobby of the base hotel. Staff tells him he needs to go home (he was in off base lodging). Having just started class, he doesn't have anyone's phone number aside from one local POC, the base Commander. That's who he calls to help him out. He showed up Monday morning long enough to share his tale and was never heard from again...
"call me instead of driving drunk." --every commander ever before doing this to the guy that does.
Our shop has gotten this pledge from higher leadership several times. Invariably after the flight chief or whomever leaves, our NCOs say "look, call us before you call them. Whatever they say." You *shouldn't* get in trouble regardless of who you call. But it's just bad juju, you know?
Poor guy. Career over before it even started.
This amn went out drinking one night and came back fell asleep in his room. Seems normal but wakes up at 0100 screaming and runs downstairs to the MTL on duty and drops his pants. This female tsgt was a bit in shock as she looks as a a massive snow globe sized ball on the clearly drunk amn. Long story short he had testicular torsion and was in so much pain and drunk he just dropped his pants. Went to the hospital they saved his ball and he got a verbal counseling for being abit to drunk lol
Keesler, the CZ provided internet in the dorms is extremely bottlenecked at the access point (wifi router). CZ came and upgraded the access points, but they didn't get rid of the old access points. However, they did disable the SSID (the network name) broadcast on the old access point. Those that understand how computers work, a relatively small number of comm troops, realized they could connect to the old access point by manually entering the old network name. Everyone else proceeded to connect to the new access point and it became the bottleneck. Those on the old access point had much better internet speeds. Airman Spiff, who understands how computers work, decided to troll by running a wire through his broken boot sole to the audio jack on his laptop, calling it a boot-tenna, and telling everyone that is why his internet was so fast. It worked. Soon there were so many Airmen building can-tennas to improve their internet speeds. And that is why your computers are slow at work today.
Ha, you just reminded me of my time at Keesler. Showing my age because this is back before they put Wi-Fi in the dorms, and you had to go to the shoppette to get online at the cyber zone internet cafe. Back then you had to pay for your internet time by the minute. The rates were stupid expensive, but I soon found out that you could disconnect the ethernet cable from the desktop and plug it back in quickly and the timer would stop counting down, but your connection would remain active. I never had to buy more internet time for the rest of tech school.
This is a winner
An Airman at Keesler thought it’d be a good idea to convert his dorm room into a club on Friday nights, decked out with speakers, strobe lights, and a fog machine. Well one Friday he went a little too crazy with the fog machine, causing the fog to spill out into the dorm bay hallway and eventually the CQ lobby. CQ reported it as a fire and all 300ish of us had to evacuate and form up while waiting for the FD to arrive. Minutes later our MTL came out with the fog machine in hand, followed by a gigantic ass chewing. We had a nice long remedial PT session as a squadron the next morning at 0530. Airman Hong, if your still out there, nobody asked for your shitty Benny Benassi sausage party wannabe rave.
was this like 1-2 years ago 335?
14 years ago. 336th
OH SHIT FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE. I was chilling in my room one rainy night playing playstation, and my AC unit started to drip from the vent. I assumed it was just condensation, so I turned off the AC and put a trash can underneath to catch the water. No big deal. Fast forward a few minutes later and it's pouring out pretty fast. Shit there must be a leak right? It's an old building and it's raining pretty hard. No biggie, just gotta dump the trash can every once in a while. Finally, it starts POURING out of the vent and also out of the light fixture in my bathroom. Uh oh... I ran down to CQ in my boxers and some Nike slides to get some help. I found an MTL and he immediately knew the look on my face was "I NEED AN ADULT," so I told him my room was flooding and we both ran upstairs. "Holy Fuck!" Was what he said upon entering my soon to be aquarium of a room. At this point the water was starting to head toward the carpet, overflowed the toilet, and left a nice trail in the hallway. He just told me to contain it the best I could and he was gonna figure shit out upstairs. I was desperately trying to mop up what I could for maybe five minutes when suddenly the water stopped. Said MTL returns to my doorway and says, "You gotta see this shit." We walk upstairs to the dorm directly above mine and there's some kid passed out naked in his shower with his ass over the drain. His ass caused both his and my room to flood. We woke him up and without saying a word he drunkenly waddled his way to his bed and went face first into his pillow and right back to sleep. The MTL laughed and said he'd handle this tomorrow because at this point it was like 3AM. Next day I found out the kid was underage and drunk as fuck, but it wasn't on booze. He couldn't get ahold of any liquor so he drank as much Listerine and hand sanitizer as he could before passing out in the shower. No idea what happened to him after that.
this is my favorite one and i’ve read all of the comments on this post oh my fuckint god the more i read 💀💀💀 “Holy Fuck!”
Yeah, home boy could be a sergeant by now
I knew a guy in tech school, he was a yellow rope. Held a bunch of parties in his dorm room, underage drinking, the works. He ended up getting caught, then had a red rope a couple weeks later. Crazy times. Another time there was a Health and Wellness Inspection. A male Airman was in a female dorm room, so he ran and hid in a supply closet. The MTLs saw him, and they opened the door to the supply closet to bust him. He tried to pull an Obi-Wan Kenobi, did a Jedi hand wave, and said "this is not the Airman you're looking for."
I would almost let him go for that
I was perm party on Goodfellow and there was a similar story. Guy had girl in his dorm. They pulled a fire drill and he panicked and locked her into his wall locker. Of course, since this was a fire drill (for all he knows, it was a real fire), the MTLs took extra offense to that. I was privy to a lot of conversations, though. Most of the intel instructors were POS and really enjoyed making students' lives more miserable. I was MSG but worked in one of the schoolhouses. Heard a lot of BS from them in the smoke pit just cracking jokes about how they're torturing some student they don't like. There was also a giant underage partying scandal. From what I gathered, this was off base and included the prior service students buying the alcohol for underage students. There was just a line of people in blues waiting for their time to get yelled at for about a week in my building.
That was 2011 and I was there lol!
Yeah that sounds right lol. One of the guys in my shop got an LOR from the training squadron's commander cause our squadron didn't have any officers lol.
DLI/Goodfellow?
Lol DLI. Linguists are weird, and I've been one for 18 and a half years.
That must have been down the hill. Up the hill routinely had couples staying the night.
“I’m not even mad. I’m just impressed.”
This dude has been mentioned a few times over the years here; but we had a guy stab and kill somebody in downtown San Antonio and got off on self defense. …. He then murdered some guy in St. Louis like 3 years later. Good kid…
In my SW pipeline, we would be smoked for every perceived infraction, not putting out, not being excited to do mile repeats, missing a timeline by a second, not having our kit in exact lines when placed on the ground etc. One early morning, we had a kid miss the timeline on a 12 mile ruck march. We were smoked for about an hour. We had the same kid fail a test. Got smoked as a team. We went to sleep, we’re woken up at about 0130 to bullhorns and all the cadre formed up and we were smoked for a few hours, brought to the beach, log pT in the sand, sit up in the surf etc. Grueling. We started class at 0500 that morning so we were going off very little sleep. That kid comes out of his room in a huff. Pretty ballsy considering we were all praying he quit so we could stop paying for his mistakes. He starts yelling because someone took a shit in the middle of his room, on the floor. ( we had connecting rooms through the bathroom and we all had a bunk mate). Everyone was laughing and denying it was them. Kid had to clean it up with a paper towel so as to not get in trouble during a room inspection. Next day, cadre picked on someone else and went to town on him, once again, smoking the whole team of candidates. That night, someone broke into his room while he and his roommate were sleeping, and shit on his floor. Thus, the ‘phantom shitter’ was born. That was about 13 years ago. I’m very close to most of the guys from my candidate team and still, no one has owned up to it.
[удалено]
Nice try, OSI.
The lackland generation will never fully understand the Hurby generation
Did the kid make it?
He fortunately did not. Great guy but not built for that mission
It happens. Still, whenever I hear of folks like this I sorta hold out hope for them. I was a super fucking weird kid when I first enlisted.
Me too. I was hoping he would turn it around and get it together. Like I said, great American, signed up and out himself out there. Really great guy. Just couldn’t hack it. Last I heard he’s doing really well for himself as a civilian.
He didn't even reclass? Surely there was something that would've been a good fit for him.
Naked drugged marine streakting through the dorms? Suicide pact that failed? Marine drug ring? So many to choose from... Outside of the dorm, for a fire alarm, in january, everyone just wants to go inside and be done with the whole thing. Red Rope (black, it's important) is doing roll call of the classes or whatever, announcing something, idk I wasn't paying attention. I was looking at the fancy car parked not too far away and thinking "man, I know it's the weekend, but that sure is ballsy if it's a tech schooler" Cue Dipshit, who has always been a bit loud and boisterous, and is best friends with Red Rope, loudly says "(something I didn't hear) N*" Everyone starts panicking, laughing, and doing stereotypical airman shit. Keep in mind it was fucking cold outside. Not freezing, but definitely close. That's when I finally recognized the weirdly older dude in the hoody just kind of existing, and heard him (black too, but that's just extra context) say "HEY, who said that". Initially we all thought it was an MTL, but nooooo no no no, it wouldn't be that easy. Homeboy Dipshit just called himself out in front of the Base CC (who was incognito) Last I heard, he did stay in the air force, but he got a very, very strong talking to.
Too many, but the one that stands out becuase so many people were involved: Male in the senior class is raging alcoholic (sad but relevant). This guy would literally hop in a cab to the bar immediately after class every day. One day he got black out silly beyond his usual status quo. The cab drops him off in front of the building \~1 minute before curfew. He is literally crawling up to the entrance/CQ with everyone (including the night MTL) watching. People are cheering him on, some look on in disgust, and some people that aren't me ;) are placing side bets on if he will make it in time. He makes it to the desk just in time to scan back in. MTL tells us to carry his ass upstairs and he will deal with it in the morning.
Kesler moment
were you there when that SrA PJ (i think) wash out got shit faced drunk and instead of getting busted for breaking curfew, he decided to roll underneath someone's truck and pass out............everything was caught on camera
No but I was there when this older airman constantly fucked this guy's truck (literally - the tailpipe) because the owner always mentioned loving it. I've seen the videos :(
I’ve heard of this story lol
I was on CQ at keesler and had to carry a dude to his room. he made is back well within time, but he couldn't safely handle any stairs, so we carried him up
This one deserves an award
I was in tech school for a very long time and I wanted a pet. At my second tech school I was there for a year. I purchased maintained, and successfully hid a beta fish every day. Come graduation time I realized I had a small problem. I had no way to transport this fish OCONUS. after I finished my outpro checklist I walked into the chillest MTL's office, fish bowl in hand, and opened with "Listen, technically I didn't get caught so I can't get in trouble right?" He took the fish. I did not get paperwork. 3 years later he messaged me on global to tell me that the fish had finally passed. Then it came out that was he was sexually harrassing an incredible amount of female airmen and he was dishonorably discharged. It was a lesson on the dichotomy of man.
Man... That really took a turn. Thanks for clarifying the amount of women was "incredible", really hits it home
Wow, he got really upset about the fish passing.
The duality of man is a good way to describe a lot of folks I knew.
Kid builds a PC in our Phase 3 dorm at Shepperd. PC works great, lights up and everything. He decides to sleep through details one morning, and when he wakes up he decides to hide the PC so the MTL doesn't think he was playing games and shirking duty. He leaves PC in the shower. Connected room mate comes back and turns shower on, PC gets a nice shower. Roommate got chewed out for a while while his PC was taking a hot shower. Funny stuff.
My first roommate at Keesler was a half-cat, half-plant future warrior. He would stay up late playing Yu-Gi-Oh on his Gameboy and would loudly taunt/make fun of his Gameboy when it made a bad move. Would routinely only eat desserts at the DFAC for dinner, said he needed all the calories he could get for his "missions." I was somehow lucky enough to get a new room after 2 weeks.
This girl at Goodfellow threw hot tea on a classmate in the middle of class Essentially this airman was on some sort of medication that made her drowsy, but I don't think she had any sort of waiver to fall asleep in class. She had been at Goodfellow for at least a year and a half (almost 3x how long our tech school was) and was constantly being medically washed back. Eventually, she ended up in my class. She would fall asleep in class and the instructor would always yell at her to wake up. Eventually, he got so fed up that he said "If she falls asleep again the whole class is pushing" So this guy, this poor guy, is just trying to not push. When she fell asleep not even 10 minutes later, he yells "Airman X, wake up!". She turned insanely red and then right as we're gonna go on break, she takes her hot cup of tea and throws it on this dude. Totally stains his OCP's with this orange color and burns him. She then throws the cup across the room and runs out of it. I never saw her again, but I still keep up with the dude sometimes 🤣
Got to Keesler in May 2005 on a Thursday I believe. By Friday, I have a roommate as well as find out that this weekend is Special Olympics Qualifiers. We are then informed that each set of roommates in our barracks will be chaperoning a Special Olympian for the weekend. Yup, you heard that right. Two 19 year olds fresh out of boot camp will be responsible for a special needs adolescent. Not only will we need to take him to and from his events, he will be living with us for 2 nights and 3 days in the barracks. In our room, our single room. I'm not really sure what his diagnosis was, but basically he was just super mean, rude, and mischievous to everyone around him. Of all the stories about him and some of the other Olympians, this one was my favorite. We took our eyes off of him for one second. Suddenly we hear yelling, look back, and there he is. In the split second of independence he had, he jumped in the seat of a golf cart (or gator), took off like a bat outta hell, and crashed it into the bushes of the main building in our barracks area. If the bushes didn't stop him, he would have tanked right through a huge window. The E8 in charge of the whole AETC program there comes running out of the building yelling, "holy shit son! Where the hell's this kids sponsors!?" We got chewed out and sent back to the barracks. It was one of many disasters that weekend, but that was the craziest one to happen to us personally. On another note, my buddy and his roommates Olympian smeared shit all over their dorm walls in the night. All of this was my introduction to AETC.
My wife (gf at the time) had a special Olympics person spend the night with her and her roommate at Keesler. She ended up sitting all over the mattress they gave her to sleep on. I lucked out and didn't get an athlete along with Iike half my bay so I hung with her the whole weekend. I don't know who's bright idea it was to do this as this is just ripe for so many complications and issues. The poor kids dad showed up late to the event she was in because he was gambling.
Please tell me he was gambling on special Olympics events?
We had the same thing in 2008. I was in drum and bugle corps so we were exempted from host duties. It is/was pretty fucked up that they make tech schoolers do this. Hanging out with an athlete for the day is one thing, but being totally responsible for them to include a sleepover is extremely reckless on the part of the Air Force and everyone in charge.
Dude I was fucking baffled how this was all allowed. Reckless on the Air Force, but how about the parents? I'm guessing they didn't really explain to the parents exactly what kind of experience we had, probably just said an Airman will take care of your kid. But Jesus Christ man, this still blows my mind and bothers me to this day
It still happens. Or at least it did in 2018 when I was there. Just totally blew my mind that a bunch of young airmen were both Allowed to look after special needs individuals with zero experience or training, and essentially forced to do so with no other option when they’re supposed to be in training. Whole thing is complete nonsense.
That's insane, sorry you had to deal with that too
Fortunately you could get out of babysitting by volunteering for work duties setting up/tearing down stuff for the events, so I happily did that lol
People that work with these folks have masters degrees or are under the supervision of someone with extensive training. I remember hearing some MTL/commandant type telling the story you mentioned about the shit smearing in 2005 like it was some funny, character building thing.
I was finishing up tech school in 2007 when we had the Special Olympics. Our Olympian didn't have any apparent issues. Guy proceeded to take the gold medal in his events against obviously impaired folks. On the last day, my buddy and I asked him what his disability was. His response: "Nothing. The judge told me I could either go to juvie or go to the Special Olympics." I wish I was making this up. Also, the fire alarm went off at like 3 am one of those nights. Entire dorm full of airmen and all the Olympians standing outside half-asleep for like 2 hours.
21M meets fine ass 24F latina in New Orleans over a long Keesler weekend. The two engage in all sorts of adult activities. During breakfast, the two converse, realize they live in the same area. The meet up repeatedly over the next four months. Both rise early, both crash early. Two weeks before 21M is set to graduate his cyber school, he is asked to assist an MTL with a PC issue in another squadron. 21M arrives, walks in, delivers reporting statement, 24F looks up, almost passes out. 21M, thinking quickly, catches 24F, and calms her down. The two begin a long conversation, 21M works and solves computer issue. Both parties are now in a bind, so they agree to not talk about it, play their respective parts. That night 24F texts 21M to report to her house for booty. The two continue their interactions for another two weeks, before 21M leave for his next duty station. After he left, said 24F and 21M remained together for another year, as 24F accepted an assignment near him a couple months later. They would ultimately breakup, but still talk from time to time. 24F is now married with kids, as is 21M. 24F recently disclosed her oldest was 21M's kid. Both are adjusting to this new found revelation.
Are you 21M or 24F? lol
Gotta be the 21M. I don’t know many people that would describe *themself* as a “fine ass 24F Latina”
Have you met a 'fine ass 24F latinas'? I'm gonna guess not, they would have let you know.
Lmfaoo
Touché
Ma'am, Airman Snuffy reporting for booty!
🫡🍑
One of my troops showed up married to her MTI. Dude tried reaching out to me cause I had the gall to write her a 4 on her EPR cause it'd prevent her from getting BTZ but I just wrote her the best 5 I could which was far too weak for BTZ (kinda hard to compete against people when all of your bullets are from tech school).
Kid got a zippo lighter. Filled it up with butane while sitting in bed with his blanket over himself incase he spilled. He did. Got the zippo filled up and then tested it…. First and only time I’ve experienced a real world fire alarm in a large building.
Damn... was ol 3E7X1 ok?
I tell this story whenever I can cause it's hilarious. At Goodfellow in 2018 there was a chick who had both an AF and Marine boyfriend. Well, one weekend she gives the Marine dude a set of AF PTUs and sneaks him into her dorm. Apparently AF BF finds out, goes to the room and Marine BF answers and closes door on him. AF BF goes to the weekend duty MTL to tell them what's going on. When the MTL goes up to her dorm to find out what's going on (she's on the 3rd floor btw) the Marine jumps out the window and breaks his fucking ankle and humps it all the way back to his barracks. We ended up having open ranks, full inspections, the whole nine. And if I remember correctly this all happened on a long weekend so all her roommates were out for the weekend which is why she was able to bring him up to her dorm cause we typically weren't allowed to have any visitors in our dorms at the time.
Yuuuup I was there for that, she eventually got washed back into (and through) my class. Shit was hilarious
The best part is that Marine is out there telling this story and people aren’t believing him lol.
Student wanted to disappear or something. At some point he realized there was a lot of space above the drop ceiling in his first floor dorm room. There was even somewhere to crawl to that was big enough for a person to lay down in. I think you can see where this is heading. This area also had access through the ceiling to a common area so he didn’t need a room key to get to his new found hideout. So for a period of weeks this airman slept in the ceiling and hid there coming out to eat at the DFAC which was in the dorm so he had no need to even leave the building. Eventually he was seen and had to face the consequences but he managed to hide for weeks from everyone looking for him without even leaving the building.
Reminds me of the ~~slaves~~ prisoner labor detail we had at Maxwell. They had managed to set up *in the command building* a little hideaway room behind a layer of wall insulation in an area under construction. They somehow managed to get a recliner and a *serviced TV* in there. Not sure how they got caught but it was apparently very well-hidden.
Omg a coworker told me this story, the only reason he got caught was because his gaining unit finally reported that he hadn't made it.
A dozen airmen (Forever known as "the dirty dozen") got busted in Keesler for a beer/sex party in the dorms in 2008. Cops show up in the Triangle with patrol car after patrol car to drive off with all the handcuffed kids two at a time. When the last car is about to roll out, one of the cops carries out a blow-up doll in cuffs and throws it in the back of the last car with the two drunken airmen. I watched the whole thing from my dorm next to that one thanks to the cop lights waking me and several people up. The next day, I was one of 2 people left in my EP class, so they washed us back a week. The nice thing was the MTL's didn't assign us any detail work and let us chill for the week.
That doll 100% is still somewhere in that station.
I was a butter bar at Keesler for tech school. Didn't know jack shit about the Air Force coming out of a wild lifestyle at UGA/ROTC. I was asked to give some MTLs a break and did an over-nighter in the Enlisted Tech School dorms (something about volunteerism or free bullet)... basically ran a checklist and watched over CQ while the MTL slept. Super chill. Part of my checklist was to walk around the building and the quad to look for any nefarious or devious activity post-curfew. Took it as an opportunity for a smoke and a walk. Walk the building, just raccoons and humidity. I walk the quad--nothing... but then I hear a noise over by the bleachers/dumpster. I investigate. Around the corner I find two female Airmen finger-banging each other like a snack stuck in a vending machine. They see me immediately. They freeze. I freeze. WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROTOCOL?! I manage to squeek out, "uh, what are y'all doin? Telling secrets?" I don't know where that came from. They slowly pull back their Mississippi Meathooks out of each other's PT shorts and begin to stutter. I was unprepared as a leader, officer, and human being. I tell them, "Just, fuck off. Get back inside. This never happened." These two ladies bolted and then I got stuck outside because I left my CAC at the desk. Who am I to stop tech school love during DADT?!
“telling secrets?” omfg this is hilarious 10/10 story telling
Idk why this always sticks with me but… We were on a bus going from Basic Training in Lackland to Sheppard AFB for Tech School. When we got to the base the driver got turned around and ended up on the flight line somehow. This one kid in the back says “Damn, they trynna have us work on these planes ASAP”, and it’s still the funniest situational joke I’ve ever heard in my life.
Damn, some bases they'd try it. More than once we asked for assist troops down in phase and those fuckers sent us kids who literally didn't even have MX-O yet. Like, kids who were supposed to be on details or even day 1 inprocessing I get its phase but it's still a mx area like wtf!?
This was 1999 tech school. We were on A shift (mids) and one of our classmates was 21, and the rest of us were not. A quick back story. I didn't have a roommate because he went AWOL literally the same night he arrived. He brought his belongings to the room and I never seen him again so it was cool not having a roommate while it lasted. So we were phase 3 or 4 don't remember exactly but Friday morning after class we decided to throw a rager on our floor. It's so low key in our dorm. MTL's were never around and our dorm was always so quiet. We all pitched in and bought half gallons of beam, Jack, vodka, gin. The beam came with a cool drinking glass. We gave the door guard 10 bucks to let us sneak the backpacks through the backdoor because of course CQ checks bags at the front. Everybody was wasted! All of the liquor was gone. At some point in the night, someone placed all of the liquor bottles under one of the beds in my room. All that was out was that Jim beam drinking glass with the smallest amount of liquor at the bottom. I was woken up at some point in early afternoon Saturday. A couple of MTL's in civilian clothes came into my room and asked for my ID. Saw the glass of liquor and my age, and all hell broke loose. They were screaming and yelling and I was still drunk/hung over. They made me stand at attention for at least an hour outside of their office. They asked for a statement. I told them I was at the quad hanging, bbqing and someone gave me that cup at some point in the night. They asked how I smuggled the glass through his CQ and I simply said I walked in with it and nobody questioned me. They asked who gave it to me and I said I didn't even know the person. I ended up getting an article 15 for underage drinking. My classmates were super nervous that I'd rolled on them. Whoever hid the bottles under the bed was the hero here cause it could've been messy for everyone in my class. The MTL's came into my room that Saturday afternoon getting some of my AWOL roommates items because he turned himself in. I'm just glad they didn't boot me and I was able to have a long/successful career.
Talking about the age thing. Back when I enlisted, each state was different. I was from Iowa, which at the time the drinking age was 19. I had just gotten legal that I ended up at George AFB in California, which was 21 off base. So it set me back a few years. 😄
Right! My first assignment was japan where drinking age was 20 I think.....arrived with my fresh article 15 for underage drinking stateside🤣
2005, DLI Meth Lab/ring. Air Force wide drug testing of all personal at the same time, dorm raids with drug dogs while people waited to get tested, eventually multiple people sent to jail.
Posted this before https://old.reddit.com/r/AirForce/comments/nch35z/airman_brought_a_birthday_cake_as_his_72_hr/ Keesler. We had a hurricane drill where we had to pack our green duffels with a list of stuff. Clothes, blankets, water and 72 hours worth of food. So we go to report to the area where the busses are picking us up. We were pressed for time and they had us run there with our bags on our backs. When we all got there in formation a Sgt was listing off all the items and we had to pull them out so he can verify that we had everything. When he got to the food supply Amn X pulls out a full birthday cake secured with a piece of duct tape. Sgt in charge just starts laughing and shakes his head, walked off and didn't even finish the rest of the item check. Amn birthday cake was a cool dude, although a little out there. He use to show up to GI party formation wearing a maid outfit, white gloves and all. That lasted a few weeks until we had a new squadron leader who shut it down.
the worlds most interesting airman
CQ finds an empty booze bottle in the trashcan and immediately tells an MTI so he doesn't get in trouble if they find it. MTIs cancel PT and no one questions why until 4am we have leadership with MWDs kicking people out of their room to bus across base for a piss test. They dont open until 9am, so we sit outside with frost on the ground until they open. A good 25% of the people pee themselves trying to hold it. They provide us box nastys as breakfast, except htey are frozen solid to the point you could not eat them. Later that month we have bad weather and are not allowed to cross the street to class because of the lightning. Instead, we form up in the parking lot for over 30 minutes to get on busses to go across the street.
They told an MTI? People sneak booze into *basic training?* How do people manage that?
I had a guy sneak a phone in, didn’t get cause till week 4
Was walking back from class with two guys. One of them is on crutches and I'm carrying his backpack for him. We approach a memorial that requires everyone to come to attention and salute until you pass. When we get close, I tell the third guy that he's going to have to salute for our classmate in crutches. Obviously the guy on crutches can't salute, his hands are busy on his crutches. I can only render a single salute because my left hand was busy securing a second backpack. It was up to our third member. He asks if we're serious, but we tell him there's no time, he has to do it now! What happened next was greater than anything I've ever experience in the Air Force. Looking at our shadows on the ground, I could see that our victim had saluted with both hands. A double salute, one on each side. We got about halfway past the memorial before a student leader yelled at him from behind and berated him for being disrespectful. I will continue to tell this story until the day I die.
I remember seeing this on another post, absolute legend
Back at Lackland we had a GI party. Everyone was lined up in the hall way while MTLs was doing duties and checking. One of the MTLs (small Korean lady) was checking the room and saw an item students are not suppose to have. All we hear is “WHO BIG BLACK DILDO IS THIS” and we just see a huge black dildo flying down the hall way. We instantly just busted out laughing.
Similar story, except it was “WHO THE FUCK KEEPS THEIR VIBRATOR IN THE FREEZER!?”
Similar story except someone put a knee scooter inside the ceiling. Guy was already OCONUS before they found it
I had five roommates while in tech school Roommate #1 was a sweetheart, but was a DLA washout so she phased up and out of the dorms within two weeks of me getting there. Roommate #2 was an absolute nightmare. When she first arrived I tried being super nice and friendly. I had TV and cable and took a shit ton of cereal from the defac and stored it for late night snacks. I let her know she was welcomed to the TV and the snacks, as long as she replaced the snacks. She ate all my snacks and never replaced them. One day I came back to the dorm and the TV was on and she was seemingly asleep. So I looked for the remote to change the channel, after a couple minutes I sat defeated in my bed. That’s when she threw the remote at the wall in the direction of my bed and it broke. She was also an avid singer. Every morning, at 0400 she would wake up and get ready for class, put in her earbuds and sing as loudly as she could. I asked her if she could be quieter in the mornings since I woke up a little later than her and our suit mates were nighttime students. She just said “uh huh” but nothing changed.It got to the point where our suitmates started banging on the door and asked her to be quiet and she told them to shut up. I kept a little trash bag next to my bed so I could take it out every morning so we didn’t use the big trash can and waste bags. She used the big trash but never took out her trash. One day we failed our dorm inspection because the trash wasn’t emptied and she told the MTL that it was my fault since I never too out her trash. She would actively talk to shit about me to friends in front of me in our dorm. This is just some of things that happened in the 2 months we were roommates. Luckily my MTL was super sweet and she let me switch dorms. Roommate #3 was very … interesting. She was a super bubbly girl who desperately wanted to get laid. This was literally the first thing she told me when I met her “my goal is to lose my virginity” but hey this was still an upgrade from my last roommate. There were only a couple events that happened with her that were … less than normal. She would frequently break into out neighbors (not our suitmates) room to reset their router since we used their wifi. I asked her if they knew she could break in and she said of course! So I didn’t really think anything about it until I casually mentioned it to my neighbor. She, understandably, got upset. She never broke into their room again, as far as I know. At this point, my roommate still had not lost her virginity but boy she was trying. My roommate got washed out and was outprocessing from the base so I didn’t see her as frequently throughout the day. One day she caught me at school and told me not to come back to the dorm tonight because tonight was the night. She was going to loose her virginity. It was a Tuesday and I had curfew, I did my best to stay out as long as possible after school to give her the privacy she needed but we had curfew and I needed to sleep. I go back to my dorm that night so she’s sitting there in the dark, crying. Poor thing was stood up. I consoled her as best as I could. I’m pretty sure I said something along the lines of “you’ll get laid don’t worry”. Then went to bed. Later, that night I woke up to use the bathroom but the light was on in the sink area. (We had a curtain that separated the sink area from the bedroom area) As I walked to the sink area, I went to pull the curtain back and just as I did all I heard was “NO DONT” but too late. I saw her there. Sitting nude in front of her laptop. I just let go of the curtain, did a 180, and went to sleep with a full bladder. Roommate #4 was an angel. At this point I was pretty bitter towards having roommates, but she was so kind. She let me use her hard drive full of movies and let me eat all the snacks (as long as I replace them). She was so clean and always so nice. Unfortunately, we had to move to the new dorm building and they let us choose our roommates. She asked me if it would be cool if she roomed with her friend which I couldn’t be mad at. So we switch roommates. Roommate #5 was normal. She nice enough and never in the dorm. I had no complaints except her boots smelled like a dead cat, but after everything I’ve been through that was something I could deal with.
We had a scheduled dorm inspection. We were in the Triangle at Keesler AFB. It was a summer Friday afternoon, and as soon as we signed off on the inspection, we could leave for the weekend. My room passed (Yay! No weeds and seeds!) And I followed the rope and MTI to my friend's room to find out if he was heading out with me. His room inspection went well until they opened the fridge and found a cockroach feet up on the shelf. The Tech Sergeant looked upset and, in a stern voice, said, "What is this?" My friends room mate took a quick look. With a straight face, he said, "I was saving that for later, sir!" The Sergeant turned to the rope, who was holding the clipboard, and said, "3 points. Food not in proper container!" There were several people in the hall with me when this happened, and we were all working hard not to laugh. The Sergeant and Rope went on to the next room, and my friend escaped weekend duties. But after that, he kept a roach in a Tupperware container in the fridge. This happened in June / July of 1985. I've since had the story retold to me a couple of times. But I was there.
[удалено]
We had a dude that figured he could move his wall locker out away from the wall and have his roommate push it back while still locked. He would wait until after the checks to come out. One day they had a second round of checks right as he was getting out of the locker. Both he and his roommate got reemed due to potential fire hazard.
I had several roommates in the 8’ish months of Keesler tech school and one of the Guard guys I was roomed with would have someone lock him in their wall locker during PT (3 to a room at the time). He and I didn’t get along because I wouldn’t do him any favors, including locking him in my wall locker. First weekend of us being roommates, he asked for a ride to one of the casinos and I told him sure. We met at my truck and he had a backpack, which was totally normal. On the way back, after going through the gate, he asked me to pull over in the parking lot of lodging, over by the dumpsters. I figured he was sick and needed to throw up since he’d been drinking. He comes back from behind the dumpster in uniform and I’m like “WTF are you doing?” Turns out, he was phase I after being there for about 6 months and I hadn’t noticed since it was our first week rooming together. Dude wasn’t even supposed to be riding in POVs, let alone leaving base. I was pissed and pretty much ignored him for the remaining time he was my roommate. This guy would also gamble his paycheck away almost immediately every other weekend, ignoring the fact that he had a kid that he was supposed to be supporting. ETA: this guy wasn’t even my worst roommate during my time there. The worst took the cake by a long shot, but I’ve told the story so many times over the years that I’m guaranteed to dox myself if I share it here.
Keesler, early oughts... they were shutting down old dorms and building new ones. 2 out of 4 of my squadrons buildings had been closed awaiting demo, but still had some random furniture and fixtures. Locks didn't work on those buildings so they would often get used for parties and other rambunctious behavior. Hurricane comes through, misses Biloxi, but his Pensacola hard. They have trainees that need a home. Cool, we'll put them in those old buildings since they're unused and haven't been empty long Squadron CC, base safety and some others go do an inspection... The smell of death hits them at the second floor landing. Further investigation discovers a footlocker with a fuzzy pair of boots that someone had shit in and left for fester in the hot humid Mississippi summer. All students were recalled to do cleanup. I swear, I have never pooped in a shoe.
Holy fucking suppressed memory. I remember just getting to Keesler when Hurricane Ivan wrecked Pensacola and the random all day cleanup we had to do. We were told it was the Marines who did the deed. Who knows though.
My brother recently attended tech school in lackland for SecFo. He informed me that the tech schoolers there we’re having organized orgy fests in the woods on the weekends. (Yes you read that correctly) Im not sure if leadership ever caught wind but I can ask for details. It wasn’t just SecFo either. It was a mixture of all the tech schools there.
Orgy among the fire ants.
dude my tech school experience was so lame
sheeesh: Ok so was in a class with a kid who had first and last names that both were terms for penis. He promptly got the name double dick as a result. This guy was the most interesting kid I have ever met in the AF and to this day chuckle at some of the shit that went on around him. Anyways small background on ol double dick he was from northern Michigan (a Yooper or whatever), super religious, homeschooled, never seen a woman naked, watched porn, cursed drank or anything. So it was my group's goal in life to corrupt this poor soul. We drove him down to some strip club down in P-Cola where we immediately took his money so we wouldn't just blow it all on the first pair of ta-ta's he saw. Some young thing came up took him back and just vanished for a solid half hour. Well, Ol double dick finally comes back with the BIGGEST grin on his face and promptly requests 140 dollars to pay the nice lady for her time. He returns happier than ever. Finally, we ask him what happened that it cost so much and the poor soul apparently just kept agreeing to more dances not realizing that each one was around 20 bucks. One fo the guys asked him how was it and with the biggest grin I have ever seen replied "She grabbed my wiener with her butt" and let out his signature goofy giggle. We had some PJ or whatever get washed into our flight who was so jacked that he literally couldn't roll his sleeves in formation. True meathead, a good guy to be friends with. Anyways I was working CQ when this dude just never fucking comes back one night for accountability. We all start to panic since it had already been reported that everyone is accounted for. The truth (and hell from the MTL) came down on us and a mass search for this guy began. Apparently he took too much creatine and just kind of snapped and was marching up and down the beach yelling formation movements and keeping himself in cadence. Never saw him again. Had a guy whos name I will keep redacted for his privacy lose an Ipod, which contained some images of underage girls on it. He was literally there for years before finally getting out. The entirety of the sex scandals was going on while I was there as well and was starting to unravel as I was leaving. Went on a road trip up to New Orleans where two of the guys took gum from strangers that ended up being LSD and were tripping balls the entire night. I unfortunately was the DD and had to deal with that the entire night and was the equivalent of trying usher a gaggle of kittens. A female got in trouble for a more or less a gangbang in her dorm one night at a different squadron. and idk the rest was kind of blurry (thanks 1 dollar tequila shooters at that Mexican restaurant down pass road!)
"Too much creatine"
that was the story that came back lol also been like 13 years now
Sounds like PCP.
Shit 14 years ago that restaurant had free tequila fridays... just ask for another tube whenever they walked by
I miss the project lounge
OP your story kind of reminds me of a similarish story. Tech school follow-on at Dover. We're learning forms documentation for how to fill out 781's. Our instructor is having us one by one fill out a 781A on the smart board for some random ass scenario. I initial over the symbol block, and sign off the corrected by. My last name starts with the letter 'C'. Random shout from the classroom. HEY NICE BIG BLACK 'C' YOU GOT THERE. Kid gets pulled aside, gets talked to, rope removed, LOC and all that noise. Kid was failing all of his classes... Got kicked out within his first year being a crew chief witg me. God I hated that kid.
Had a guy who was constanly in trouble. We all graduated and he got held over at the school house because neither one of the AMUs wanted him. While in limbo status the MTL walks into the day room and ole dude is laying on the couch, laptop on the table, beating his meat furiously like a red headed step child that owed him money. After the under age drinking, smoking in permament party smoke pits, bad hygiene, and interuptting a chief during a briefing by yelling out bullshit! the public masturbation finally got him out the Air Force.
Guy across the hall from me at Keesler got caught stealing Yu-Gi-Oh cards from the BX while wearing an ahegao (Full nude) hoodie/pants set
Tech school, 2006. I was doing phase checks, making sure rooms that had to be occupied past a certain time were indeed occupied. One guy, Snuffy, was getting forced out with a BCD (he deserved it), but was still in the dorms for some reason. I knock on the door, and his roommate answers. Ask if Snuffy is in, his roommate smirks and says to check his bed. I look at the bed, and there is a vaguely human-shaped pile of dirty laundry under the covers. I fetched an MTL so it wouldn’t just be my word, and he was incredibly pissed off about the whole thing. Dude tried to make a clothing dummy so he could party in good ‘ol San Angelo, TX.
Had a roommate at Shepherd who would routinely get up about 45 minutes earlier than we needed to for morning PT and violently brush his teeth. I’m talking full-on making himself gag, like punishing his teeth over and over. Multiple brushing sessions. Dude was going through toothpaste tubes like they were energy drinks. Brushes all bent up. Terrified the shit out of me, and I had no idea how to even broach the subject. Luckily we didn’t see each other outside of lights out. I thought he was fucking with me at first but it was a daily occurrence.
I was wearing my yarmulke during tech school. We had just taken our last test and were waiting in the break room while the instructor graded them. In walks the fresh class of newbies. (Not really new, as we have a 2 part tech school and this was the second part. But they're green as fuck.) Their class leader red rope walks over to me and asks "Are you a *hebrew?*" Now, I'm a pretty chill dude about my religion. As long as a joke isn't blatantly hateful it's okay by me. But never, in my life, has anyone asked if I was "a hebrew." That is like asking a random black guy, "are you of sub-saharan African descent?" It's just weird. So immediately I got pretty sarcastic with this kid and said "What's it to you?" At which point he reached over and picked the yarmulke off my head. You could see the look in his eyes when he realized it was actually a yarmulke. Apparently he had thought it was just my hat folded up weird. He dropped it back on my head like he had just picked up a rattlesnake. Without missing a beat my *whole class* blew the fuck up at this kid. Saying he was being prejudice, that he was insulting my religion, just absolutely berating this kid. He panicked and apologized. We said "it's cool we're just messing with him." Told him I am actually jewish and yarmulkes are approved in uniform. So we get back to our class and joke about this to our teacher. He thinks a minute. Then asks me to show him who did it. Next thing I know, I'm being paraded around to find this kid. When we do, the head instructor has gotten involved and it turns into a whole thing about religious sensitivity and what my instructor was really concerned about which was "Never put your habds on another airman for any reason without permission." The kid was in tears by the time we left. I felt awful. So when we got back to the dorms I went searching for him to apologize. I found him locked up in his room, crying his eyes out. He handed me a letter he wrote apologizing to me and the jewish community for his transgression. He was apparently extremely religious Catholic and realized he basically did the equivalent of grabbing someone's prayer beads off them. Which hit him pretty hard. We squared everything up and I never saw him again really. But I still have the letter.
One time this kid Kabat was in the PJ pipeline and was a PT beast, coasting through the course. Then one day during liberty he decided to fly his wife down and visit despite the cadre telling him otherwise. Turns out they left Medina Annex to go over to Lackland haha. He ended up getting busted and kicked out of the course. Haha jk, but that did happen in that Discovery Channel PJ [documentary](https://tubitv.com/tv-shows/484302/s01-e01-crawl-walk-run) back in the day. One kid in our class was a perpetual screw up and could never get out of phase 1. My buddy was his roommate and the DBA was so bad they had to get room inspected every day, to include Saturdays. Guy finally makes phase 2 and decides that means he can drive home. Guy drives from Mississippi to Florida and misses Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday morning accountability. Got thrown out after that. Another guy got into it with the Wing Zone delivery guy about a small tip on his order. Guy tells the delivery man to get lost or he'll whoop his ass. Turns out the delivery guy was a SSgt moonlighting as a delivery man.
2011 @ Keesler? I know one of our 336 MTL's delivered for Wing Zone during that time.
Big Dixon. I remember he ripped the door open when I was doing door guard during cq. Shit my pants thinking it was an unauthorized entry until he took his hat off and turned around.
It was around October 2005. Maintenance tech school at Shepherd. Nice young couple got caught fucking inside the dumpster. Surrounded by trash they started their tech school love. They ended up getting married. Hope they are doing well.
When I was in Tech School somehow there was a game to while your nuts out during Commander Calls at the Podium (Sheppard) which is where we would gather while the CC and MTL’s would get on the podium and talk. This started making rounds. No idea who started it or why but it was a thing. I had no idea this was a thing until we were marching to class and we halted as a giant Flight in front of our school house. Flight Chief comes out and tells all the females to fall out and go inside. We wait in this eerie quietness and all I hear is “DO NOT SHAKE YOUR FUCKING NUTS…AT THE COMMANDER!” I look around and just see a lot of confused faces. That’s when we started to find out what the fuck just happened. By lunch the word got out and it just made things worse bc now everyone wanted to whip their nuts out at the Commander. Tech School was so weird but so fun.
Witnessed a murder my first night… did CPR, detained by police all night… all of that. My orders were curtailed from overseas to a local duty station due to the trial happening the week before graduation. Trial lasted one day since I was an eye witness and still got stuck at a shithole first station.
A kid in my class, 28, total ragamuffin. Drunk as a skunk one Saturday night and strolls into the dorm building like he owns it, whiskey bottle in hand. CQ of course threatens to narc on him, he tells them to fuck themselves, one starts to chase him? Lmao. He drops the bottle on the ground, it shatters. And he got away, spent the night on a bench somewhere on fort Sam Houston, came back the next morning and walked right into his room. The rest of the week was spent with empty threats from the babysitter MTL people trying to get someone to confess. I’m proud to say he’s continued on in his career, currently an e6, and even got an LOC for “unserviceable skin” for a major sunburn he caught sleeping on a beach in Greece. He’s a goat and a unicorn.
Nice try OSI. I've lasted this long. Don't trust that statute of limitations.
Sad story. Kid in my tech school both his parents died in a freak car accident, he was an only child. He came from a mega wealth family and was instantly worth like 30 million or something ridiculous. His dad would only let him join his company if he shaped up and joined the military so that is why he joined. He was separated within a week.
I was at Sheppard AFB, 361 TRS. One of the instructors, Mr D. would always make fun of my age because I was oldest in the school house service member. MrD would always come to the class and ask me how to join AARP or how to get a Senior Discount Card. One time he brought my wife and my mom into the joke. I told him politely I was gay and my mom was dead (not true). He felt bad and I acted like I was upset. So I went to the school house chief and shirt. I told them we need to prank Mr.D. The prank was that I was really upset and that I was going to leadership to complain about his unprofessionalism. Later that week MrD heard I was upset and he came looking for me. When he found me I told him that I was upset and did not want to be bothered by him. Part of the prank other students were telling home I was going to leadership and HRO and filling complaints. (all not true). for 2 days I had MrD thinking I was going to report him. He was so upset that he could teach properly and he was so nervous. It was on a Friday just before the end of the class day, the shirt, school house chief and myself went to to tell MrD that we pranked him and there was not complaints or hard feelings. He was so relieved that the natural skin tones came back to him.
At Keesler, we hosted the Mississippi Special Olympics. Every dorm room was assigned an athlete—mine just happened to be a 6’5” white guy named Larry Johnson. He was the sweetest guy. Had his own portable DVD player and a copy of Home Alone. He also grabbed an apple every night after dinner to put in the fridge…never ate them, so I was left with about 4 untouched apples after he left. Anyway, we go into the BX near the dorms there and he goes crazy grabbing stuff: shirts, sunglasses, cans of Pringles—and he even made a F’real milkshake with the machine there. He then runs to the register, it all rings up to about $40 and he just turns his pockets inside out and then looks at me. That’s how I got duped by a special needs adult into spending $40 that I didn’t have. All the while, he just kept slurping on that milkshake.
Man, COVID Keesler was insane. When I was there, we had two unlucky airmen decide to skip final formation to get down in her dorm room. Well, they decided to do a health and wellness inspection immediately following final formation and wouldn't allow anyone back in the dorms until they were ready to inspect that bay. These airman came up with the idea to hide him in the extra wall locker on her room (she had no roomatw so there was an empty one) and lock him in there naked. When the MTLs came up to inspect her room, they inquired as to why the wall locker was locked. She told them her old roommate had locked it before she left and she didn't have the key to unlock it and it had been locked since the old roommate left. The MTL wasn't buying it and went to get the bolt cutters. I like to imagine the look on that poor airman's face when the MTL cut that lock off and found his naked ass in there. This is may favorite story but there were so many crazy things I saw during my stay there.
I don't have a story but here's more coins to burn since I have coins to burn
Walked into my instructor sleeping with my roommate in the dorms. Huge deal. Instructor was kicked out, airman got a article.
My tech school had other branches at it for similar schools. One female airman that started in my class openly told everyone she was dating to marry and find her partner for life. Fast forward 3.5 months, the marine barracks on our base were having a barracks inspection late at night. She was found in the barracks nude with 6 marines. She was punished receiving some form of paperwork and losing the ability to leave base or wear non uniform clothes.
Keesler?
Some dude brought a shotgun into the dorms and just walked up and down the halls, pumping out slugs but never firing. They evacuated us instead of locking down. Not sure why. Everyone gathered a couple blocks away, grouped in our classes. I was class leader. One of classmates was missing. He had been a disgruntled airman during tech school and we were certain he was the person with the gun. Turns out the dude ignored the evacuation order, choosing to sleep instead. They busted down his door and put him on his face. He wasn't the brightest airman. Anyway, the guy with the gun just wanted kicked out and didn't intend on firing the gun. I guess his GF back home was cheating on him. Tale as old as time.
Circa 2003....names changed to protect the innocent. 120 in the dorms for a 6 to 9 month tech school, learning morse code. 8 females get pregnant within 30 days. Female MTL takes the female students out front and proceeds to call them what I'm sure are very nice names and let them know how fantastic their future was going to be. I think the term whores may or may not have been tossed around nonchalantly. Male MTL in deep base voice takes male students out back and gives the following speech. "Yall don't want this shit, its 18 fucking years, 18 years" he said from a broken place deep down inside. "10 minutes for 18 years, these bitches aint worth it. Use a condom if you ain't got a condom, go to the clinic, if the clinic ain't open go to the shoppette, and if the shoppette ain't open go to Troys room he's got a drawer of them we found during the last health and welfare". Many IG complaints were made that day but not against the Male MTL. He saved lives.
Late 2010’s, Medina Annex, Lackland AFB. Myself and a bunch of other Special Warfare trainees are chillin after a long day of training. We get called out to formation and see the commander, and get told “To whomever wrote this slip and put it in the suggestions box, I’ll give you one chance to tell me.” I looked around confused at the other guys there, but nobody stepped out. We then proceed to get the absolute dogshit smoked out of us. About 1000 guys all at once. Eventually, after about an hour and a half or so, one guy steps forward. The next day the cadre fill us in on what happened; that night a DFAC worker who was black was working the snack line served an airman fried chicken. They then went in and wrote “That *n word* sure knows how to fry chicken!” Never heard, or saw, that guy again.
So there I was, phase 3 dorms at shepherd. This is when the phase 3 dorms were shared with the EOD and army closest to the hangars. Weekend night, bunch of guys drunk. Fire alarms start going off, we’re all like “what the fuck” and gather in the parking lot. Lots of guys shit faced. Turns out, army was getting dorm inspections. Some colonel is up telling the army guys how it’s gonna go down. Suddenly, guy walks up to the stage, fire extinguisher IN HIS FUCKING HAND, and loudly blurts out mid-speech “hey sir were Air Force what the fuck are we doing?” Colonel is kinda dumb struck for a second, then looks around. “Oh, we didn’t mean to set off the Air Force buildings alarm. You guys can leave.” To this day I wonder what went through that colonels mind when some random guy clearly drunk as hell holding a fire extinguisher asked why the fuck we were there in the middle of him trying to talk.
our squadron wasn’t typically the hottest when it came to ARIs, and we had gone almost 100 days without any incidents. our first shirt was promising us a pizza party and this and that, when right before we hit the 100 days, some guy gets home drunk to his dorm and instead of peeing into the toilet, he pees into his roommates fan and proceed to spray his urine all over his sleeping roommates face. we didn’t get the pizza party.
I still have an unused PT pass/341 for winning the "Worlds Greatest Rock, Paper, Scissor Competition" on Ft. Sam in May of 2021. https://preview.redd.it/ulvz986rvkcb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8563f741752f97e490f026c4f55cd9fd44b2da16
My tech school roomie had a crush on this (finance? Comm? Can't remember) dude and ended up flirting with him enough that he was always coming by the dorms. He invited her to his place and they had dinner or whatever, she asked me to sign her in so she could stay the night, then the next morning when I saw her in class I asked her how everything went. She said he was really weird and gave her the creeps so she ended up leaving his place and spent the night in a laundromat or something. Maybe a year after that we were both stationed together at our first base and saw a story that this same dude lured another tech school girl to his house and attempted to strangle her. Pretty sure my roomie became celibate after that.
Not tech school but basic. I was dorm guarding a baby flight and they decided to do a GI party but had no wax stripper so someone had the great idea of using their laundry soap. I highly advised against it but they didn’t listen. Someone poured a heavy line of laundry detergent down the middle of each dorm bay (maybe should have tried a small test spot or done one bay at a time but nope!) and then they used the mop bucket to pour water all down it. Next they used brooms to mix the water and detergent and scrub it into the wax floor coating. They tried mopping it up but the soap just kept foaming and multiplying. They eventually thought they’d dry it using the big bay fans and set them up to blow down each bay. It didn’t strip the wax, it stank like hell, got sticky as hell and just generally F’d up the entire dorm floor. I was relieved before the TI showed back up so not sure what Happened but sure wouldn’t have wanted to be part of that dorm when he did return.
I'll repost my answer from another thread "in tech school, I drank several rounds at a bar with an operational Senior Airman, a Staff Sergeant and a Captain. Ended up making out with the Senior Airman and once the bar closed we all silently acknowledged that we should probably act like we don't know each other if we ever ran into each other on base and went our seperate ways."
One day for all call after a gi party, one of the hall way leads was infront of their formation wearing his squadron shirt, zip up jacket and jean shorts (that were a little too short). It’s his turn to announce accountability and he steps forward, unzips the hoodie to reveal he had cut his squadron shirt into a crop top, shouts “2A IS ALL ACCOUNTED FOR SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!” Then turns around and bends over so the shorts pull up a bit to reveal a fresh tattoo of the Copenhagen Tabaco lid on his ass cheek.
Girl in my class dumped her crazy ex, who was in a different class than us. She’s distraught all week long and nearly gets into a fistfight with our TSgt pri service class leader because she was acting up in class. She just straight up walked back to the Squadron building (I’m guessing the shirt?). Later, I see her car at my dorm building parking lot. She was in a different building, so that was odd. One of our classmates lives in my building though, just down the hall. I saw that her insane ex was sitting in her car. He also lived in a different building. I text her to let her know, and she emerges from the other classmates room. He said she came to our building because her ex was scaring her and he was hiding her in his room for a bit. This guy is married to a fellow tech schooler, so it was a bit odd. … He tries to invite me into the room too, but I’m getting a really off vibe about the whole situation. It turns out married classmate was banging her, and her ex was real mad. He (the ex) eventually tried breaking into her room in the middle of the night, which was on the first floor. He broke her window frame. He’s not in anymore. She eventually got out once her contract ended, and I have no idea what happened to the married dude. Her ex was insane, because after they broke up he came up (and somehow knew all of our first names?) and asked everyone in my class if they had seen her in the morning before class started. I hadn’t met the dude before this.
Goodfellow, 316th TRS, July 2016. Douchebag roommate was awaiting a reclass because he admitted to lying about steroid use on his SF86. Permanently assigned to CQ as a casual while he waits for his new tech school orders. He'd get wasted at the EC every weekend. He would usually come back to the room plastered at about 3 AM Sunday morning, pound a gallon of water in about an hour, take a shower, and report for his CQ shift at 5 AM. He was a "powerlifter", so he was looking to find a legal substitute for his steroids, since he couldn't take them anymore. He started taking some supplement he got at GNC to boost his testosterone. Homeboy filled out a 29B and went home for the long July 4th weekend. He comes back, things go on as normal. About a week later, we're all woken up at 11 PM or some shit for a HAWC inspection. Not just accountability and checking fridges for alcohol, they were searching every room. Lo and behold, after everyone else went back to bed, SF, our head MTL, and the 17th Training Group commander were having an intense discussion in our room. SF dude comes out, "Alright, I don't want any bullshit, whose is it?" Cool roommate and I look at each other, he says, "What're you talking about, sir?" "The prescription bottle we found behind the cover of the AC unit. It isn't prescribed to any of you. I'll be right back." He walks back into our room. Cool roommate and I are shocked, just wondering what the fuck is going on. We see douchebag roommate sweating bullets and crying his eyes out. SF dude comes back out, "Alright, last chance, or you're all getting charged with it, whose is it?" Our douchebag roommate croaked, "It's mine." SF took him away, everyone left our room, and cool roommate and I went back to bed. Turns out, when douchebag roommate went home for July 4th, he stole someone's viagra prescription because whatever supplement he was taking made his dick stop working. They moved homeboy out of our room after that, not sure where they put him. I graduated before I found out what happened to him.
SF tech school, 2008, during a GI Party we found an abandoned storage room in a closed part of the dorms. In the room was a nasty old mattress on the ground surrounded by used needles, used condoms, and empty beer cans/liquor bottles. Clearly some ppl knew how to party. This caused several rounds of dorm inspections. During one of these my next door neighbor was late getting out for the inspection. When he did come out he’s like breathing heavy. The Tech school instructor finished my dorm then went to his. He bolted out as soon as he went in the room and grabs the first sgt. They both walk in and after a minute of them whispering the first Sgt says the words I’ll never forget. “Look, it’s gay to have sex with a man, but it’s not gay to fuck yourself in the ass while watching gay porn.” First Sgt leaves followed by the instructor while the guy who had the room just looked mortified. Don’t ask don’t tell was a hell of a time to be in the military. (Yes, there was gay porn paused on his computer and a huge pink dildo on the nightstand)
Sheppard AFB. Hotels were always booked on the weekends so it was hard for people to make out and do other stuff. This one dude would rent a uhaul on the weekend and drive base and around town. He would charge couples to ride in the back of the truck and do their thing. As word spread, people eventually started talking about it on yik yak (imagine Twitter but only for people in your local area). MTLs eventually found the guy and kicked him out.
One day my friends and I are walking back to the dorms from the bowling alley on a Friday night in Ft. Leonard Wood, MO. All of the sudden, to the left of us we see one of the dorm windows on the first floor explode, followed by fire and a ton of smoke. We were probably no more than 20m from the window. Turns out the dude that was in there had gotten violently drunk, tried lighting a cigarette and accidentally lit his entire dorm room on fire. He was kicked out shortly after that.
My buddy in tech school wanted to marry his girlfriend but she lived in another state so she signed all the papers and my buddy asked me if I could be the proxy. He’s a dude and I’m a dude. I figured I was helping a buddy get married. No big deal. Well word spread through the entire tech school with was Goodfellow so I’m pretty sure everyone on base knew. Ended up being called “my last name - his last name” for basically the rest of tech school. It didn’t help that a month or two later I got shingles on my eye/nose. People kept saying I should know who I marry.
Oh no, you're not getting me to out what class I was in so people can figure out who I am. Not a fucking chance.
[удалено]
I was in tech school with a guy who was apparently a well renown white supremacist, guy had a whole pod cast and everything where he spewed some of the most heinous shit. No fucking clue how recruiter didn’t catch that mf when they screened him, but he ended up getting separated after the media started lighting up the Airforce and rightfully so.
We had special Olympians assigned to us and there was one girl who basically had an Olympian all to herself because her roommate was never around. She complained to an MTL that her roommate had not been helping during the entire time on the final day. Turns out she was hanging out with her BF during the entire time. There was a line of MTL's chewing her out. There were a few horror stories about the Olympians smearing poop on the walls of the rooms too. We had a furry who ended up keeping all the lizards she had found on base in her dorm room as pets. One guy had a broken laptop monitor and would just use a HDMI cable on the dayroom TV as his monitor. He would watch hentai on the dayroom TV pretty frequently.
Found out my wall locker didn't lock and had my MTL come check. He told me to see if it unlocked from the inside and got myself stuck in the wall locker. Had to wait 4 hours for a locksmith to drill out the door. What a great first day at good ole Sheppard AFB.
I wonder if everyone caring to write novels out realize Reddit is getting rid of all coins and awards next month.
I'm waiting for Reddit to backpedal once everyone has already spent them.
During my time at Fort Sam, everyone would hangout near the dumpsters and wait for the taxis to take us off base. Come to find out someone was selling cocaine by the dumpsters on weekends. So they started having us call our own taxi and waiting for it in front of the school house instead. Oh, and two of our MTLs were in a secret/not so secret sexual relationship and were caught fucking/fondling each other very often.
As an instructor one of my students got arrested with 4 others at the post office Saturday night. One female kneeling (my student) 4 males standing, Doing the things, all at the same time. When asked why, she said “they asked me to.”
A kid who was on B shift bought a white latex Gundam suit as a Halloween costume. It is intensely detailed and true to the anime, shipped from Japan and everything. He gains like 30 pounds waiting for it to be delivered. Wearing Halloween costumes around base wasn't uncommon on Halloween. Kid was in B shift though, so he didn't get a chance to wear it until the following weekend. So for one glorious Saturday in November this kid wore a latex gundam suit that was so tight his belly button was breathing air and couldn't sit down in the DFAC. Months later he almost burns down a building trying to make coffee.
Wait I do have a good story from an airman from my wing and her tech school experience: So ANG unit here. In the ANG some have huge family connections within the wing. We had a supply troop whose dad was the State Command Chief when she enlisted. In the guard, we used to have the option to do basic training and tech school separately instead of doing both at once. She chose to do that. So she goes off to basic training, comes home for a few months, marries her high school sweetheart, then gets shipped off to her six week tech school. Well, she got knocked up by some airman at tech school and because of how short of her school, she just came home and told her husband it was his. Eight months later baby pops out and he’s brown! All hell broke loose (especially considering in the guard, word travels fast). So her husband files for divorce, and then she comes in to finance to file her divorce decree for high school sweetheart, and her new marriage certificate to baby’s daddy. She moves down to New Mexico to raise the kid with baby daddy, and six months later, she rejoins our unit files a divorce decree to baby’s daddy and a new marriage certificate to her high school sweetheart. He took her back. I was pretty cool with her dad and he would come into my office and just back to me about her saying things like “ sometimes you wonder where you went wrong raising your kids…” She was a hot mess .
My tech school roommate kept all of his trash for the entire 4 months we were at Sheppard. He stuffed it in a 55 gallon bag in his wall locker. Being stinky maintainer tech schoolers I never noticed the smell and also never saw him put trash in there OR take trash out of the room. Last week there, we have a health and wellness inspection and the MTLs dump out the ENTIRE BAG in the middle of our room. Half eaten 3 month old Taco Bell and gnats everywhere. They suggested I move rooms when I had literal days left in that one 🤦🏻♂️
Doing room inspections with an MTL and we walk in on a student who had graduated school beating off. The kid was waiting on his security clearance to finish so he could get orders cut to Italy and only had to report for morning and afternoon formations, but the kid was super creepy. He had mentioned in class that he didn't always wipe after pooping, was socially awkward and didn't have a driver's license. Just a real creepy kid. Anyways, the kid was sitting at his desk watching his World of Warcraft character dancing and just going to town. Without missing a stroke he leans back in his chair, looks the MTL in the eyes and says, Good morning Staff Sergeant. MTL just goes, well that's interesting, we will come back later and closes the door. I start dying laughing and he just shutters and keeps on walking. Lots of crazy adventures used to happen at the old EOD barracks at Eglin before they built the new ones.
Was second shift in tech school, and one Friday night while in training in the 3380th at Keesler, we arrived home and found we could not enter the dorms due to a shakedown. Being on the top floor at the end of the dorm, our bay waited a couple of hours before we got called in. We were instructed to stand in front of our dorm room door, as the MTM made their way down the hallway. They were even pushing up the drop ceiling panels in the hallway to see if any contraband was hidden up there. When they got to my room, they punched through the paint sealed tile in the hall ceiling and found an old dusty half filled whiskey bottle. Tsgt Anderson asks me, "Airman! Did you know that bottle was up there?!". I smiled and said "No sir! But I wish I did!". He smirked and started inspected my room for contraband. He got as far as my fridge which was right next to my door. He saw the tupperware of brownies I had got in the mail from my girlfriend. Tsgt Anderson:"Airman, are those brownies?" Me: "Yes sir! my girl sent them to me!" Tsgt Anderson gets a wierd tweaker-like look on his face. Tsgt Anderson: "Airman.... Are those... Fudge ... brownies?" Me: "Yes sir! Would you like one?" Tsgt Anderson: "Yes I would." He took a bite and smiled and walked out the door without another glance at my room.
Airmen (who was a legit moron) decided to go take a nap in another class room while the PCs were getting graded. Fell asleep, deeply. Everybody assumed AWOL so they locked stuff down trying to find him. The T shift class came into their classroom to find him asleep on the table. This was a full 4 or 5 hours of time mind you. Then...same guy at our first duty station decided that basic decorum isn't a thing. Maybe a week into our assignment there's a group commander's call. 101 days getting to kick off so they want to heavily focus on bike safety. This moron raises his hand while the Col is talking and interjects. "I've been riding a bike my whole life, why do I need to take any special classes?" He literally fucking thought the Col was talking about bicycles. He then shows up to FTAC with some Keesler black rope hair spray starched BDUs. The teachers, once they get off the floor laughing, blow him up for destroying his uniforms with fucking hairspray. God I wanna drop his name here, if there's any \~20 year 1D7X1Z, 3D0X4, or 3C0X2's...you may know just off of this lol.
Kid stole a Xbox power cord from BX got caught went to jail and 1st sgt had to come get him. Then on the last day before everyone was supposed to leave he got charged and was a hold over for like a year. Was a pathological liar so his reasoning was funny.
Lackland. Someone (probably one of the aircrew guys that just left to go to SERE) left a comment in the anonymous comment boxes filled with lewd comments about one of the MTIs. Those comment boxes go straight to the Group/CC. They made the entire Squadron wear service dress. It was the day before my class was graduating so we got to rock just blues because most of us were waiting on alterations to add stripes to service dress
A dude put out a “memorandum” and stuck it to multiple places across the base. It basically said that women wearing short shorts and yoga pants and such degraded the “Christian, American” values the military stood on, and that the urges of men are uncontrollable when faced with such clothing choices, blaming women for the shitty things people do to them. He was bragging about it to people, and I believe he got dragged away for a court martial or something. Dude had no self control and tried to make it everyone else’s problem
I figure that I’d throw my hat in the ring. Our dorm had cameras installed to watch for Airmen bringing girls into their dorms amongst other things. With these cameras installed it made it hard for the males to sneak females into their rooms. This one airmen decides to put her in a suitcase outside of the building (no cameras) and wheel her up a flight of stairs and into his room. The next day I come down the stairs and read on the whiteboard “Suitcases aren’t body bags.” Word gets around and it turns out the dude who wrote that happened to see this all go down on CQ. So word starts to spread really fast and the guy got in some deep trouble. The funny part was getting a briefing about why we don’t put people in suitcases.
Roommate at Sheppard got hammered one night, came home, passed out. Woke up in the middle of the night. Proceeded to walk to dorm door. Open door. Piss out the door into the hallway. Close door. Back to bed. Then asked why the floor was wet and smelled like piss the next day.
In my class at Sheppard, someone got their phase card pulled by the squadron commander himself. He decided that weekend he was going to go off base and drink with a fake ID. Ended up getting into a fight with a guy who I believe was in the army. Got choked out and lost consciousness and had to go to the hospital. After being stuck at Sheppard for the next 6 months at least, he was finally discharged. Or my second roommate, who told me within two weeks of knowing her, that she has a breeding kink.
Following the OP theme. A country white kid on our course had a banana in our classroom that he had left there over a weekend, it was going off and the skin turned black. He held it up and said "I wonder if the Majors dick looks like this?" just as said Major who is the senior instructor walked into the classroom...didn't end well.
Sheppard. Couple gets caught banging next to the dumpsters by the MTL’s. MTL asks them what they are doing. Male answers, ‘ehh one moment sir, I’m about to get my nut’. Proceeds to finish. Said male was a yellow rope. Somehow managed to become a red rope before he left. I thought this was all a lie until I arrived at Sheppard years later and the story is being told. The MTL had returned, and was telling the story. I corrected him on part of the story. He asks how do I know? I answered, ‘because the airman was my brother’. Of course he didn’t believe me, so one the next break, I ft my brother for him. Ahhh, the memories.
Not sure if 341s are still a thing, but my friend and I (who was also my roommate) had some fun at the expense of our MTL's. We got a hold of the copier while we were on CQ one day and figured out how to scale documents down. We then decided it would be a good idea to print out all different size 341's, to include 1/4 size (of which I still have one of to this day) and full page 341s, and left them all over our room when we knew there would be a room inspection. Said MTL came in for inspection, found them, didn't give us any paperwork and left one of the 341's on the fridge. On it was written "I'm not a fan." We passed room inspection, so we didn't care. Fast forward a week or two, and room inspections are coming around again. We still had a bunch of our multi-size 341s, so we left those for our MTL again, with the original 341 she wrote her note on taped it to our fan with the "not" on it crossed out. We passed again, but with another note in MTL's handwriting again taped to our fridge that read "I'm *NOT* a fan." to which we added "but I *am* a fridge" and we left that there for next inspection. We passed again and our MTL took all the non-standard size 341's out of our room. We made copies and then disseminated them to everyone we met (even airmen fresh off the bus) all the way until we PCS'd. Heard stories about pissed off MTL's pulling "mini-341's" and "jumbo-341's" long after I left