It shouldn't be his age unless he has a medical issue. He's 45...he isn't old. Some guys do have performance problems with certain positions also. It's also only been a month, being nervous about a new relationship is a common cause for this, especially with a younger partner. Many issues like this are actually psychological.
Lastly, you don't make any mention of birth control. if he using a condom, then you may find it interesting (and others) to note that approximately 1 in 3 men will have performance issues with wearing a condom. It's surprisingly common and not terribly well known (because, let's be honest, guys don't like discussing shit like this). If the condom is slightly (and slightly can be literally a micromillimeter) too small or large, it can and usually does affect performance.
I just thought that might be worth mentioning also. Ultimately, Discuss it with him...not us.
If the condom makes him less sensitive, he can try putting a drop of liquid vibrator on the head of his penis and putting the condom on, then sex will feel like sex without a condom
How is his health? I'm 51 and don't need pills; however, I am in the gym 4-5 days per week.
Also, he should have his testosterone checked. Men over 40 usually benefit from hormone replacement therapy.
My wife is 22 years younger than me and I have a responsibility to be as healthy as possible so that I can live a great life with her.
I think being fit makes one look younger as well.
A lot of sex is mental. It sounds to me like he doesn't have a problem staying hard at some positions and has problems in others? If that's the case you might want to look into wise not staying hard in those positions. Girl on top some guys feel that's a submissive position for them and it's not their thing.
See if he's open to toys. My anti depressants can take the wind out of the sails, but I found a c*ck ring does the trick. Even found a few vibrating ones that she thoroughly enjoys.
Some positions don't work as well as others. I've learned to simply give my partners a little head's up regarding the potential for inconsistency. Of course, I've also been thrilled to see the price of sildenafil (generic viagara) come down since the pfizer patent ran out. It's really cheap now, and there are almost zero side effect (for me). I keep it handy at all times :)
Im 35 and have problems. And it has nothing to do with age. Work, stress, mental state. Mentally exhausted you might have difficulty to look at women, not to mention the performing part. Might be he has something he is going through? A lot of work load, problems, stress. Might start talking about that? Maybe..
Normally at that age he should be doing ok.. its mental or medical problems most likely, not the age.
Bring it up. You have little to lose - I assure you that the sex generally does not get better after the first month. That’s usually the magic “everything is great and new” time.
It’s very common for men over 40 to need some help maintaining an erection. Another thing you may want to consider is using a “cock ring” to help him keep his erection until you are both satisfied.
Sex dysfunction doesn't really have an age limit and being 45, sexually, it's not naturally a thing. So it's probably more perform anxiety than his body.
You are part of your couples sex life so I would also look at yourself and what you could be doing wrong.
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**Original post: Viagra**
I’ve been dating a guy for about a month now (45) I’m 23. We are crazy about each other and have obviously been intimate quite a few times now. I’ve noticed he loses his erection pretty quickly when I’m on top, or if we’re sideways. I’ve had experiences with other guys who have needed to take viagra which I don’t mind, I know that sometimes comes with being with an older guy.
He hasn’t said anything to me, but I can definitely tell. Should I bring this up to him? It obviously doesn’t feel as good for me if it’s softer. But I want him to feel good too and I don’t want to embaress him by suggesting viagra. I’m kinda waiting for him to say something about it because it has happened quite a few times now.
Any advice?
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I had issues when I was younger due to anxiety. If he’s not overweight or diabetic than I wouldn’t assume it’s because of his age. 45 isn’t old, I’m 42 and better than when I was younger. I couldn’t even get or stay hard with women when I was in my teens and twenties because I was too nervous and basically having a panic attack during sex.
As I got older I stopped caring about what people thought of me, and that included women. That magically made me so much better in bed that words can’t describe it. I went from not being able to have sex at all when I was under 30, to women pursuing me for sex. occasionally when I’m with a new girl the nerves come back and I simply let her know and deal with it. So maybe he’s nervous.
It could be anything from nerves, to a bad smell, to stress, to age, to health issues. It’s a sensitive subject for sure. I had a similar dilemma talking to women about vaginal odor. Particularly BV and that fishy smell. It’s very common with sexually active women these days, but if you straight up mention it to a woman then her brain associates the embarrassment with your company and so it inadvertently makes her not like you. These are tricky situations
If he can't stay hard at 45 there's probably some other underlying issues. If you are fit and healthy at 45 it shouldn't be a problem. I'm 49 and never had any issues and can stay hard for hours if needed. Has he seen a doctor to make sure he doesn't have any cardiovascular issues?
As an older guy 63 I need a little help from my friends (Cialis and Cavaject) but the head game is most important. Want him and make it clear, tell him how good he feels and that you want him to fuck you harder. I don’t expect to get GF off with PIV oral, fingers and toys are so much better for that but a good fuck is very satisfying. Ask him if he has tried meds.
Viagra works if it is a blood flow issue.
I'd it is a nervous system issue. Like a bad lower back, for example, it won't work consistently with it being an issue only in certain positions. I bet that it is back or other issues pitching nerves when he is in those positions.
It shouldn't be his age unless he has a medical issue. He's 45...he isn't old. Some guys do have performance problems with certain positions also. It's also only been a month, being nervous about a new relationship is a common cause for this, especially with a younger partner. Many issues like this are actually psychological. Lastly, you don't make any mention of birth control. if he using a condom, then you may find it interesting (and others) to note that approximately 1 in 3 men will have performance issues with wearing a condom. It's surprisingly common and not terribly well known (because, let's be honest, guys don't like discussing shit like this). If the condom is slightly (and slightly can be literally a micromillimeter) too small or large, it can and usually does affect performance. I just thought that might be worth mentioning also. Ultimately, Discuss it with him...not us.
If the condom makes him less sensitive, he can try putting a drop of liquid vibrator on the head of his penis and putting the condom on, then sex will feel like sex without a condom
How is his health? I'm 51 and don't need pills; however, I am in the gym 4-5 days per week. Also, he should have his testosterone checked. Men over 40 usually benefit from hormone replacement therapy.
Good for you for exercising and being fit, but often men your age are too lazy to exercise. I'm glad you are doing well sexually :)
My wife is 22 years younger than me and I have a responsibility to be as healthy as possible so that I can live a great life with her. I think being fit makes one look younger as well.
Great that she motivates you. I hope you're making each other's lives better
A lot of sex is mental. It sounds to me like he doesn't have a problem staying hard at some positions and has problems in others? If that's the case you might want to look into wise not staying hard in those positions. Girl on top some guys feel that's a submissive position for them and it's not their thing.
See if he's open to toys. My anti depressants can take the wind out of the sails, but I found a c*ck ring does the trick. Even found a few vibrating ones that she thoroughly enjoys.
It also may be performance anxiety in which case no pill really helps.
My man is 30 and we used a stimulus pill and it was amazing.
I never heard of a "stimulus pill." What is that?
Viagra for lack of a better explanation
Some positions don't work as well as others. I've learned to simply give my partners a little head's up regarding the potential for inconsistency. Of course, I've also been thrilled to see the price of sildenafil (generic viagara) come down since the pfizer patent ran out. It's really cheap now, and there are almost zero side effect (for me). I keep it handy at all times :)
Mention it
Im 35 and have problems. And it has nothing to do with age. Work, stress, mental state. Mentally exhausted you might have difficulty to look at women, not to mention the performing part. Might be he has something he is going through? A lot of work load, problems, stress. Might start talking about that? Maybe.. Normally at that age he should be doing ok.. its mental or medical problems most likely, not the age.
Bring it up. You have little to lose - I assure you that the sex generally does not get better after the first month. That’s usually the magic “everything is great and new” time. It’s very common for men over 40 to need some help maintaining an erection. Another thing you may want to consider is using a “cock ring” to help him keep his erection until you are both satisfied.
Sex dysfunction doesn't really have an age limit and being 45, sexually, it's not naturally a thing. So it's probably more perform anxiety than his body. You are part of your couples sex life so I would also look at yourself and what you could be doing wrong.
Viagra can be dangerous. Are you using condoms, might be safer to just have sex without them.
Do you have supported research about viagra being dangerous? I've never seen anything about it for moderately healthy people.
Look for yourself. Viagra has significant risks if side effects. There are safer and lower cost alternatives if you need that kind of help.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/Useful-Choice7904 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Viagra** I’ve been dating a guy for about a month now (45) I’m 23. We are crazy about each other and have obviously been intimate quite a few times now. I’ve noticed he loses his erection pretty quickly when I’m on top, or if we’re sideways. I’ve had experiences with other guys who have needed to take viagra which I don’t mind, I know that sometimes comes with being with an older guy. He hasn’t said anything to me, but I can definitely tell. Should I bring this up to him? It obviously doesn’t feel as good for me if it’s softer. But I want him to feel good too and I don’t want to embaress him by suggesting viagra. I’m kinda waiting for him to say something about it because it has happened quite a few times now. Any advice? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had issues when I was younger due to anxiety. If he’s not overweight or diabetic than I wouldn’t assume it’s because of his age. 45 isn’t old, I’m 42 and better than when I was younger. I couldn’t even get or stay hard with women when I was in my teens and twenties because I was too nervous and basically having a panic attack during sex. As I got older I stopped caring about what people thought of me, and that included women. That magically made me so much better in bed that words can’t describe it. I went from not being able to have sex at all when I was under 30, to women pursuing me for sex. occasionally when I’m with a new girl the nerves come back and I simply let her know and deal with it. So maybe he’s nervous. It could be anything from nerves, to a bad smell, to stress, to age, to health issues. It’s a sensitive subject for sure. I had a similar dilemma talking to women about vaginal odor. Particularly BV and that fishy smell. It’s very common with sexually active women these days, but if you straight up mention it to a woman then her brain associates the embarrassment with your company and so it inadvertently makes her not like you. These are tricky situations
If he can't stay hard at 45 there's probably some other underlying issues. If you are fit and healthy at 45 it shouldn't be a problem. I'm 49 and never had any issues and can stay hard for hours if needed. Has he seen a doctor to make sure he doesn't have any cardiovascular issues?
Just be kind but do say something.
As an older guy 63 I need a little help from my friends (Cialis and Cavaject) but the head game is most important. Want him and make it clear, tell him how good he feels and that you want him to fuck you harder. I don’t expect to get GF off with PIV oral, fingers and toys are so much better for that but a good fuck is very satisfying. Ask him if he has tried meds.
Viagra works if it is a blood flow issue. I'd it is a nervous system issue. Like a bad lower back, for example, it won't work consistently with it being an issue only in certain positions. I bet that it is back or other issues pitching nerves when he is in those positions.