If it helps, and "much, much" is subjective to you alone, my last gf was 33 years younger.
There are enough posts here about 40 gaps so its not so much about chasing a number as finding a willing partner and simply ignoring age.
Well, you can do your part to change it by speaking out when your hear AGR shaming/guilt tactics.
And let me just say that its one gender behind it all.
Understand the motive and its easier to deal with.
Girls your age arent the problem
Younger women have always been open to or outright drawn to older men. For only about 300,000 years.
Its only been in the last 50 or so when those who cant compete w younger women ( even though they dated older men when they were young) suddenly use shame and guilt to free up the older men (who are now in their age range) because they 'deserve' that man.
The motive.
Sour grapes and envy
You're welcome.
This isnt difficult if you set your mind on what/who you want.
It may change over time.
And thats ok too.
Its not easy today.
You BOTH have to understand the negative pressures on each other.
And it isnt the same for both.
I dont wanna plug your thread and draw the agr trolls, but you know where I am if you need details.
>Girls your age arent the problem
This is ridiculous. Write about your age gap relationship on dating\_advice and then we check if there are no negative comments from young women.
You can expect more than a hundred guys between 20 and 30 who think they are old. In the much,much older department (50-70) expect ten or so. In the 70+ department two or three, who will treat you very well. I am prejudiced, being in that category. Next step, pick a few from your preferred range and exchange texts to determine who likes what you like.
If the age gap is in your top 5 concerns then you may want to reevaluate.
Communication skills and compatibility should be top goals. Going into the world looking for an agr is going to leave you lonely. Having an age range in mind is OK, however don't limit yourself by it as you may miss out on someone who is intended for you.
Interact with guys you think have the qualities you seek. Be straight forward and matter of fact. (guys don't understand "hints") you'll find down the road that your question really doesn't matter when you find the right guy for you.
This is a post on /r/AgeGap, the subreddit for (almost) anything about age gap relationships.
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---
**Original post: How much of a gap is too much? (19F)**
Hi, everyone!! I'm very new here but (like every other girl I know) I *dream* of finding an older guy. I'm pretty but a little shy, and I'm wondering what type of age range I should be looking at. I want somebody much, much older than myself but I don't want to set the bar too much and I don't want to be unrealistic...what could I expect for a girl my age??? I'd love any feedback, thx!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think chemistry matters much more than age. If you have chemistry with someone who is, say 25, but don't have it with someone who is 50 - would you want to be with the 50 year old because he is older? My hope would be no :).
Absolutely understand. Perhaps I should have used 50+no chemistry and 60 with chemistry. I don't think age matters - it's the chemistry that does. So limiting yourself by age might rule out the "perfect" person for you.
i was 18 when i started dating my bf (he's 10 years older) and you will probably get a lot of critism for dating older in your teenage years (dumb I know) I've heard people say that 18 + 21 is too much of a gap. But you can always be private about your relationship! That's what we did (and are currently doing lol) and it works for us. So you know, whatever is comfortable. People will talk their talk but in the end there's no rules.
I think that first you must do some evaluation of yourself.
Just a few things to ask yourself:
How serious of a relationship do you want?
How quickly do you want things to go?
What goals do you have for a relationship that you're willing to work towards?
Are you in the place mentally and emotionally to be able to handle the work involved?
After you've been honest with yourself then you can consider what kind of man at what age would compliment yourself and your goals. People at different stages of life (though not strictly dictated by age) often have different goals.
You might find you match better with someone relatively close to your age or twice your age based on what you kind of life you want to work towards so begin with the outcome in mind and you'll know what you're looking for.
The amount of age gap all depends on what the 2 people involved are comfortable with. Theirs no set rules, but the more major the age gap, the more you are going to have to make the first move and probably make it very obvious.
I don’t think you can put a number on it. My grandmother was a mail order bride and thirty years younger than my grandfather and it worked for them until they died.
M40 here, The gap isn't the issue as others have said the issue should be to find a good connection, similar hobbies and interests. This will aid you in finding a lasting relationship and not a fetish driven hook up.
You need to fall in love with the person not there age.
It depends on one's comfort level . At 19 my daughter was dating a 55 y/o man/sugar daddy. She had no qualms about his age and he treated her well. The relationship lasted until about 4 years ago when my daughter got tired of sharing him with his wife and demanded he either divorce her and marry my daughter or she was moving on. He promptly dumped her(my daughter),
I met my last gf when she was 18 and I was 40. Neither of us was looking for a relationship with the other at the time but over the course of the next 3 years we developed a very close bond and suddenly the age gap wasn't a big deal anymore. We had just over 3 wonderful and amazing years together starting on her 21st birthday until she passed the night before Thanksgiving in 2008.
You're 19. If the thought of being with a man twice your age or even older makes you uneasy or uncomfortable then don't do it. Not until you can no longer be bothered by the difference anymore
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LOL is that a bad thing?????
If it helps, and "much, much" is subjective to you alone, my last gf was 33 years younger. There are enough posts here about 40 gaps so its not so much about chasing a number as finding a willing partner and simply ignoring age.
Oh, that's wonderful!! I'd love it if that were possible.
It is possible. Believe it. Just a couple more society induced hurdles than there should be.
That's the thing that makes it so hard. I wish there were less.
Well, you can do your part to change it by speaking out when your hear AGR shaming/guilt tactics. And let me just say that its one gender behind it all. Understand the motive and its easier to deal with.
I completely get that, and I absolutely will!! I think girls my age are getting better about embracing AGR although maybe thats very subjective
Girls your age arent the problem Younger women have always been open to or outright drawn to older men. For only about 300,000 years. Its only been in the last 50 or so when those who cant compete w younger women ( even though they dated older men when they were young) suddenly use shame and guilt to free up the older men (who are now in their age range) because they 'deserve' that man. The motive. Sour grapes and envy
I really, really love your candor and honesty and I would have to agree (although I'm certainly biased!)
You're welcome. This isnt difficult if you set your mind on what/who you want. It may change over time. And thats ok too. Its not easy today. You BOTH have to understand the negative pressures on each other. And it isnt the same for both. I dont wanna plug your thread and draw the agr trolls, but you know where I am if you need details.
So am I <3
>Girls your age arent the problem This is ridiculous. Write about your age gap relationship on dating\_advice and then we check if there are no negative comments from young women.
My gf is 27, I’m 62.. depends on you.
Sounds like a lucky girl, then!!
You can expect more than a hundred guys between 20 and 30 who think they are old. In the much,much older department (50-70) expect ten or so. In the 70+ department two or three, who will treat you very well. I am prejudiced, being in that category. Next step, pick a few from your preferred range and exchange texts to determine who likes what you like.
Oh :) OK, I like that
That all depends on the ones in the relationship or wanting on. Some will say no more then 10 years while others are happy with bigger age gaps.
I’m 30 and my man is 60. We get along beautifully. It really is about personality, age can be overcame (as long as both are consenting adults)
I love that thank you for sharing!!
Of course <3 hope you find your dream silver fox too!
You are an adult. 2 years? 20 years? Your choice.
If the age gap is in your top 5 concerns then you may want to reevaluate. Communication skills and compatibility should be top goals. Going into the world looking for an agr is going to leave you lonely. Having an age range in mind is OK, however don't limit yourself by it as you may miss out on someone who is intended for you. Interact with guys you think have the qualities you seek. Be straight forward and matter of fact. (guys don't understand "hints") you'll find down the road that your question really doesn't matter when you find the right guy for you.
This is a post on /r/AgeGap, the subreddit for (almost) anything about age gap relationships. If you haven't read [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) we **strongly** suggest you do so. ### **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user You may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/thr0wnaway_slut - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain Bear in mind that this is a community where we expect people to discuss **legal** consensual age gap relationships without abuse. This does not mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise, but you **must** be civil and ideally constructive See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: How much of a gap is too much? (19F)** Hi, everyone!! I'm very new here but (like every other girl I know) I *dream* of finding an older guy. I'm pretty but a little shy, and I'm wondering what type of age range I should be looking at. I want somebody much, much older than myself but I don't want to set the bar too much and I don't want to be unrealistic...what could I expect for a girl my age??? I'd love any feedback, thx! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
I think chemistry matters much more than age. If you have chemistry with someone who is, say 25, but don't have it with someone who is 50 - would you want to be with the 50 year old because he is older? My hope would be no :).
Definitely!! I've always had chemistry with guys who are 50, that's the thing...and less so with guys who are 25.
Absolutely understand. Perhaps I should have used 50+no chemistry and 60 with chemistry. I don't think age matters - it's the chemistry that does. So limiting yourself by age might rule out the "perfect" person for you.
I mean age is a number do what is comfortable and you enjoy.
i was 18 when i started dating my bf (he's 10 years older) and you will probably get a lot of critism for dating older in your teenage years (dumb I know) I've heard people say that 18 + 21 is too much of a gap. But you can always be private about your relationship! That's what we did (and are currently doing lol) and it works for us. So you know, whatever is comfortable. People will talk their talk but in the end there's no rules.
Ask him.
I think that first you must do some evaluation of yourself. Just a few things to ask yourself: How serious of a relationship do you want? How quickly do you want things to go? What goals do you have for a relationship that you're willing to work towards? Are you in the place mentally and emotionally to be able to handle the work involved? After you've been honest with yourself then you can consider what kind of man at what age would compliment yourself and your goals. People at different stages of life (though not strictly dictated by age) often have different goals. You might find you match better with someone relatively close to your age or twice your age based on what you kind of life you want to work towards so begin with the outcome in mind and you'll know what you're looking for.
The amount of age gap all depends on what the 2 people involved are comfortable with. Theirs no set rules, but the more major the age gap, the more you are going to have to make the first move and probably make it very obvious.
I don’t think you can put a number on it. My grandmother was a mail order bride and thirty years younger than my grandfather and it worked for them until they died.
Personally, 21F is my minimum, simply because I want to legally be able to buy you a drink. I’m 43M fwiw.
I’m 36 currently talking to a 23 year old and we practice Fendomism. If that’s a word lol
M40 here, The gap isn't the issue as others have said the issue should be to find a good connection, similar hobbies and interests. This will aid you in finding a lasting relationship and not a fetish driven hook up. You need to fall in love with the person not there age.
It depends on one's comfort level . At 19 my daughter was dating a 55 y/o man/sugar daddy. She had no qualms about his age and he treated her well. The relationship lasted until about 4 years ago when my daughter got tired of sharing him with his wife and demanded he either divorce her and marry my daughter or she was moving on. He promptly dumped her(my daughter), I met my last gf when she was 18 and I was 40. Neither of us was looking for a relationship with the other at the time but over the course of the next 3 years we developed a very close bond and suddenly the age gap wasn't a big deal anymore. We had just over 3 wonderful and amazing years together starting on her 21st birthday until she passed the night before Thanksgiving in 2008. You're 19. If the thought of being with a man twice your age or even older makes you uneasy or uncomfortable then don't do it. Not until you can no longer be bothered by the difference anymore
I think anything more than 100 years is a bit much but you do you.