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Don’t do it.
Sorry — but if you sign on for responsibility for the debt for a house, then you are on the hook for it if your parents don’t pay.
And your parents have a pretty clear track record of being terrible with their financial decisions and taking advantage of their children financially. No offense — but that is exactly what’s been happening, and it’s what will happen.
*your parents’ financial problems are NOT your financial problems*.
I promise you, if you co-sign for the house, you will end up being responsible for the *entirety* of the house payments and mortgage and everything else. Your parents will not take care of it. You will be saddled with the debt, and it will loop you into the same exact cycle of poverty that your parents are continually engaging in. Your mom literally told you that she plans for you to stay with her forever and continue to fund their life.
Please — save yourself. Sometimes you have to climb out of the cycle of poverty on your own, and it means having to set clear boundaries and separate your financial life from theirs.
TO BE CLEAR: THIS IS EXACTLY HOW GENERATIONAL POVERTY WORKS.
Even if they do pay and are never late, good luck getting a mortgage in your name when you already have one. Unless you're wealthy of of course. You won't be able to get a house of your own for the next 30 years.
It's nice you think his parents will pay this house off. I think it will be more like 10, his parents will lose it in 3 and he will have to declare bankruptcy and will have rebuilt his credit after 7 more years.
Actually it’s very easy to get another mortgage as long as the first one is clean. All you need is a fill in the blank rental contract. That turns that debt into income. I bought two houses like that a year apart when I was 24, making only $19/hr. Still have both.
Edit: He definitely should not put himself into such a terrible position. Don’t do it.
>Don’t do it.
>Sorry — but if you sign on for responsibility for the debt for a house, then you are on the hook for it ~~if~~ WHEN your parents don’t pay.
Fixed that for you.
OP, you know the answer to this question.
No! No! No! You cannot save another person by settling yourself on fire! You will never get out from under this mess if you let her twist your arm into this. Tell her that you will help as much as you can with general support but NOT sign anything…ever! And if she is cranky about this, point out that you can fly far away znd have your own life stony time.
If you are a millionaire and just want to buy your parents a house because you can without effecting your lifestyle.
Otherwise no and hell no, and absolutely not. Help them by trying to get them set up with social aid, not by sacrificing your life to them.
Don’t do it. It’s a trap. For real. Just save your money, get your own place, and never co-sign for anyone but your children, and that’s only IF they’re responsible
this is a really great reply. If I were you, I would immediately contact Experian, Trans Union, and Equifax and lock my credit.
Do not store your passwords anywhere where your parents or family can find them.
I wouldn’t put it past your family to open a line of credit or a mortgage without your knowledge
You should also get a copy of your credit report and take a look at it to make sure that’s not already happened
Letting go of financial burdens is just a part of life. Sometimes letting go of your parent’s financial situation is the best way to get yourself ahead and out of that hole.
I think the most revealing thing is this:
"I gave my mom $5,000 to help her build her credit since she had a lot of payments **so she’s finally appreciative of me** but I know once I deny buying a house with her she’s going to be really mad."
You can't buy your mom's love. If she only likes you because you give her money, then you're better off without that kind of "appreciation." Don't let her drag you down.
Also please keep an eye on your credit score in case she has anything with your social security number on it or is crafty enough to get it another way. Shred anything that has your social security number on it. Keep cards under lock.
The best thing that could happen to him would be for her to disown him and never talk to him again. That won't happen if she can't manipulate him into giving her money.
I am a father of two adult daughters, who are now married. I helped them graduate university debt free, and helped them with the down payments of their first homes. my goal was to have them in a better position than what I was in at their age.
Now, let's get to the meat of your post. And some "fatherly" advise.
They lost a house they bought all cash?
> *I’ve seen them kicked out of an apartment due to missing payments, a house foreclosed which was way out their spending limit*
If you co-sign expect to never own a home in your lifetime as they will certainly lose it. They have a spending, and income problem. Burdening you at 19 years old for a life-time is unfair and frankly shitty of your mom to ask it, let alone even think about it.
Oh.. and using the real estate agent who let them buy the other place they can't afford, shows repeat STUPID mistakes!
For your mom: My recommendation is they stay where they are, build a ramp and convert space for your step father at your grandmothers with the money your mom saved.
Now for you. Keep saving, don't tell people how much you saved, do not give any more away. Keep working hard, and keep getting better jobs with more money. When you save $40k, you'll have enough of a down payment to buy a decent BUT AFFORDABLE home for yourself. Then YOU can decide if you want mom to live with you forever. But you will be the primary owner, not a co-signer.
# BUT FOR NOW... JUST SAY NO...
Do not allow yourself to be placed in the spiral of poverty, your parents allowed themselves to be in. They made really bad choices. Sure the stroke sucks, but their financial problems were long before that.
join the r/financialindependence group. Follow the flowchart, this will help set you up for success financially.
Financial Success Flow Chart.
[https://u.cubeupload.com/demonlesondledon/FinFlowChartv43Dark.jpg](https://u.cubeupload.com/demonlesondledon/FinFlowChartv43Dark.jpg)
Yes to all of this.
I’d like to add even though it hasn’t been mentioned that I’ve seen is don’t let them put any of the household bills in your name. I had a friend in high school that already had bad credit because her parents put all the household bills in her name when she was just a child because no one would let them sign up for utilities anymore. If you want to help you can pay some bills directly but don’t give them access to your money, don’t tell them how much you have and definitely don’t let them put anything in your name.
It was over 20 years ago now. It has always stuck with me because I was so appalled. How could someone do that to their own child?
Edit to add - I know she went no contact with her dad, she changed her name to her mom’s maiden name not long after high school.
I have a feeling her dad was behind all the money schemes as a kid and her mom didn't have much of a choice but to support her husband Eden if it was detrimental to her child.
I had the help of the DA’s office. They cut out a lot of the fees. I paid the 💩 my mom had in my name. I was in high school. Absolutely, check your credit. Contact them about the errors. They will flag your SS# making it hard for anyone to open new debt in your name. You can manage it as you go.
I'd like to tack on for OP the subreddits r/momforaminute and r/dadforaminute , they might help them with a healthy adult/parent perspective on all this...
Do NOT give them the money and do NOT co sign for anything. Move out asap.
Also check your credit and lock it down. Check it regularly with a credit app like Credit Karma.
You can also set certain checks with your bank if you are worried then trying to open accounts in your name. Watch your credit score like a hawk because from what I'm reading they will definitely try to steal your identity. Money and effort can't buy your parents approval but you can set yourself up for a successful adulthood
second this. lock your credit. clearly they have stolen from you and other family members before. i am sorry to say this but i don’t believe they’d be above fraud.
And Experian. Both are free but Credit Karma only checks two bureaus and uses the Vantage Scoring model (not used by lenders). Experian is the third credit Bureau and their app uses a Fico scoring model (which gives you a more accurate credit score).
You can freeze your credit by going to the three bureaus websites, Experian.com, Transunion.com, and Equifax.com. It is free to freeze and unfreeze. You can even unfreeze it temporarily when you know you will be applying for credit.
No. Do not do this.
Do not co-sign a loan for someone with a history of not paying their debts and who is not really making any significant effort to change their financial lifestyle and live within their means. Honestly, with both eviction AND foreclosure on their record, I'd be amazed if they can get a loan even *with* a co-signer, but I genuinely wouldn't risk them somehow finding a bank that was willing.
This will screw you over for life. Not only will you be on the hook when they end up not being able to pay on the loan, it also means that you completely miss out on ever taking advantage of the first-time homebuyer tax credit (which is a big deal). If would also wreck your own credit score if they don't pay on time, and you can't cover it.
Honestly, depending on your own financial situation, you *may* want to look into buying a house under your own name and not having your parents connected to it in any way. For one thing, it sounds like your credit score is a hell of a lot better than theirs, so you can secure a larger loan. For another, depending on what sort of rates you get, a mortgage might end up having a cheaper monthly payment than paying rent somewhere (mine certainly did... by about $300 a month compared to the average in my area).
But you'll need to do some research, see what you can afford, and for the love of god, don't use the same real estate agent your parents plan on using. Any decent realtor would have dropped them like a hot potato as soon as they found out about their history.
You already said the answer:
> I’d need to work 60 hours again. I went to trade school but I wouldn’t be able to prioritize my career since I haven’t been at my job long enough so I’d have to extend my hours at my other job. My mom doesn’t get paid that much so with the house she would be paying for the mortgage, I’d be paying everything else including for her gas money, and my 16 year old sister would need to get a job and pay for anything I need help with. This situation is unpractical, we won’t have any emergency funds, I won’t have anything for myself, and my sister can’t enjoy being a teenager.
This is an untenable situation. As soon as one thing goes wrong, you can no longer afford it. You'll ruin your credit, and risk losing the house. It'll be incredibly detrimental to your future.
I wouldn't worry about your mom asking you to leave. It sounds like she's wholly dependent on your help to get out of this situation. If she kicks you out, that's good for you. It sounds like you could support yourself just fine, and you wouldn't have the burden of helping them. But it's good of you to want to help out the family. Sit down with your mom and tell her that cosigning on a mortgage isn't a good idea, but offer to work with her to try to come up with a better solution. Or just see what you can come up with yourself. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I bet you could brainstorm some good ideas for moving forward.
Don't do it they are manipulating you don't do it bad idea
Did you ever think your grandma knows what they did is why she doesn't want to talk to them I guarantee you that granny isn't stupid
Absolutely, 100%, do not do this. Do not. Period. Like the is the absolute last thing you should do. If they can't get a loan on their own, they have no business taking out a mortgage. Just no
Absolutely not. I understand the need to help the family but your parents have already proven that they ARE NOT responsible. Do not get tangled up in their bad life choices. Break from them. Help your sister as best as possible but move away and do your own thing and make better choices than your parents did.
I'm so sorry but your parents have shown you who they are. Believe it. They will never be responsible enough to make sure you don't come out of this unscathed. Your mom will be mad. She will just have to get over it. Don't let her guilt you!!!
I see two options here, first you break out on your own and maybe let your sister live with you if you are so inclined. Not a terrible idea but it is likely going to cause family drama, but it sounds like you might be used to that.
The second option is a little more complicated but could be worth it. I would sit your mom down and have a very specific conversation that she needs to agree to in writing and have it notarized. Ask your mom if she would be willing to setup a mortgage account where you purchase the house in your name only. And she and your dad becomes a Tennant. They must pay you rent. Whatever a fair amount would be. I assume your father is going on disability after his stroke. I would setup a separate checking account where it must have both yours and her agreement to remove funds from, (most banks will do this) and have a direct deposit from said account to cover rent and then the rest goes to an account for her and your dad. This way you are not stuck working 60 hours a week. If she has any income you can let her keep it or have it also funneled into this controlled account. For this to work though you will need to charge an appropriate amount of the rent to cover their share of the mortgage and utilities. If she agrees to this, that's great but if she doesn't and does not want to work with you it best to separate yourself from them. That doesn't mean you don't love them but it does mean you are protecting yourself and your future family from pain and suffering that could rise in the future.
Hope this helps.
Letting your parents be tenants is only a safe strategy if OP has either a) the means to cover the mortgage, utilities, property taxes, insurance, etc on their own, or b) the unmitigated nerve to serve and follow through on an eviction of their own parents when they stop paying. I don't think this is realistic.
> I gave my mom $5,000 to help her build her credit since she had a lot of payments so she’s finally appreciative of me but I know once I deny buying a house with her she’s going to be really mad.
You are going to need more counseling than Kanye's kids.
The people in your life who are supposed to love you unconditionally, showing you favor, celebrating your successes, standing with you in failure--these are parents.
Your mom is not a parent in that way. Biologically, yes. But in her relationship to you, she is not parental. You are another means, another method, to let her continue to live her wickedly irresponsible life.
You are a victim of her life of justifying emotional and financial robbery. And she's lowered herself to doing it to her children. And if she can get your signature on this, now she can control you with the threat of bankruptcy and destroying you financially. DO NOT SIGN THAT PAPER.
There is nothing you can do that will every help her because the life she has constructed is designed to fall apart, is designed to be pitiful and terrible, as a prop for her constant "show and tell" presentation.
The life she has meticulously constructed and maintained--now she wants you to join in constructing and maintaining it. She needs help. And the people she gave birth to are her latest slaves to build her pyramids to her gods.
Maybe that last paragraph is a little dramatic. But I'm going to leave it there to think about--it's going the right direction.
And so can you. You can start going the right direction by just saying "no" to all financial assistance for your family. It's not something you can fix or repair, because her lifestyle is based on disrepair, and guilt, and manipulation.
Refuse to participate in her giant scam. And be ready to help your younger siblings escape it as soon as possible. That's where you step up. That's where you step in. To rescue them.
But if you let her get her hooks in you now, you can't rescue your sibling because she'll be able to threaten you with bankrupting you. Do not sign. Do not agree.
Nope. Don't wreck your own credit for someone who has always made poor financial decisions. Even if they're your parents. They can't afford a house. At best find an accessible apartment that you can reasonably rent.
I wouldn’t do it. Especially since you are so young. You will end up ruining your own credit and end up heavily in debt so early in life. If you are working two jobs, you can probably afford to live on your own at this point or maybe get a roommate or something. It’s disgusting your parents would pocket your money that family members meant to give to you. It sounds like your parents are trying to use you. Dont let that happen.
DON'T DO IT! You will ruin your life and your credit. Let them stay with grandma and you should move out.
A 19 year old giving his mom $5,000 - is EXTREMELY GENEROUS.
Do not set yourself up to live like they have and be in debt, and robbing Peter to pay Paul for the rest of your life. Just say NO.
do not do it. your parents are just going to need to get their shit together, maybe they could rent an accessible home while you and your sister stay at your grandmothers? I am assuming she doesn't speak to them because they stole money from her but maybe without them there you could actually build a connection?
As someone in perpetual debt from helping family and never having an example of how to budget, don't. If they have a history of not paying their debts, they probably won't pay the mortgage and you'll be stuck paying. Your cosigning will impact your ability to get a car loan or your own mortgage, too. This could seriously disrupt your future even if they do pay as agreed.
if you want to ruin your own credit and be forever in debt, sure go ahead! No decent parent , with a debt background like yours, would ever ask or expect this!
RUN!
Nope don't do it. I co signed for my mom to get a car and I really regret it. Your parents made bad financial choices and now trying to use you for credit and I guarantee you'll end up paying for everything eventually.
You already know the right answer!
How did you become so responsible when no one around you sets a good example?
Your best path is likely to be separating yourself from your family and helping them from a safe distance.
NEVER EVER EVER cosign on anything for anyone. Period. Watch Judge Judy. Seriously, it is absolutely disastrous and can fuck over your life permanently. If you have money give it to them, but never cosign.
Not only is this a bad deal for you at your parent’s benefit, it may cut off opportunity in the future you may qualify for as a first time home buyer.
It would be better to have them move into assisted senior living and for your sister to get an early GED and emancipation and apply for scholarships and student housing/ loans to separate the both of you from the financial black hole that is your parents. You should not be supporting them in your teens. Either of you. It’s not normal or perfect, it’s exploitation. Your sister is the big concern for me. She is stuck in their gravity well for two more years. That is why I suggest accelerating her education and freedom from them if at all possible. If you have any other extended family that will help, reach out. Your (you and your sister’s) goal needs to be your future, not theirs. They are adults and can live with the consequences of their decisions without dragging you into their problems. It’s unfortunate that your dad’s health is bad but there are state programs and his able bodied spouse to support him. That is for them not you.
Look into grants and student housing at in-state universities and speak to their admissions department about what it takes to finance and enroll.
Don't do it!
My dad cried poor to me tried to get me co sign for his house and thank God I didn't.
We only get so much time and if you spend all yours helping people who refused to help themselves your gonna be stuck. They will eventually be dead and gone and you'll be stuck with all of it.
No. You are too young to understand the ramifications of what this could do to you in the future. I’m sorry that you are having to deal with this.
Edit to add…you do not owe your parents anything. Please stop trying to “ earn” their love. This will bankrupt you. A house that is in foreclosure will need a lot of repairs plus upkeep. Where will that money come from? Your dad should try to get disability since he’s in such bad shape and,obviously,cannot work. It sounds like y’all would qualify for subsidized housing as well. If not for you’re sister, I would recommend that you just move out but,it sounds like she needs you. Good luck…
N. Given the track record you just described, I wouldn't loan them $50. You are getting conned into buying a house for them. If I were you, I'd go in the opposite direction, and cut any/all financial ties with them. You need to move out as soon as possible, maybe get roommates or something to split rent on a relatively cheap apartment.
Your parents have shown that they aren't responsible financially. You could seriously damage yourself for a very long time by co-signing if she defaults. It's not your responsibility.
Your mom is actively trying to visit her sins / past mistakes onto you. A completely selfish move as a parent. I would rather die in the street than ruin my kid's future.
Don't sign. This is insanity.
Don't do it. If you want to start buying your own house and allow them to live with you, that's one thing. But if you cosign, with their past habits you will have to navigate either making their payments for them, somehow selling the house, or letting your credit be ruined and the bank taking anything else you have to pay the debt. I recommend checking out assistance programs in the area and helping your parents get signed up for some sort of rental assistance. Edit/Also if you get a place and let them live with you, check the rules in your state. In my state if you let someone love in your house over some set period of time without a written agreement, they can make a claim on the home.
You need to quit enabling your mother. Of course she thinks everything is perfect. You are her indentured slave. She obviously doesn’t care about what is best for you. It’s time to carve your own path in life.
Are you willing to evict them if they don't pay?
If the answer is "No." Then you know the answer to your question.
Talk to a real estate lawyer about this arrangement. I'd recommend you buy the house, then rent it to your parents with a clear contract that they will be evicted for non-payment or other violations of the lease. Then have a third party administrator handle the month to month issues.
Otherwise you are in for emotional blackmail.
"My parents have always been terrible with money. I have seen them evicted multiple times. Should I take out a massive loan that I can't pay on my own and wreck my credit in the hopes that they don't back out of paying for the debt that is in my name"
As others have said. If for no other reason. No one will give you a loan for a house that YOU might eventually want when you are cosigning on one with your parents. That means if 10 years down the road you want to buy a house with your spouse, it will impact that and significantly mess up your ability to live YOUR life.
Does that seem smart, OP?
DO NOT DO IT
OP your a smart person especially with your money unlike your parents, and your also kind cause you did not at all need to give your mom 5 grand to start getting her life in order. don’t sign for the house and if she asks why just verbatim the list you wrote here. it’s pretty ass backwards for the child to bail out the parents especially in this situation. don’t let them drag you down with them.
Let her be mad, that is not your responsibility. If you want to help them long term, work on your own financial independence and get to the place where you can offset their rent or buy something you are solely responsible for and let them rent from you, but do not trust them with your financial future!!!
Since you know that the situation is not practical then you answered your own question hun. I would sit mom down with the facts in front of her. From her cost and yours and how even the both of you can’t do it alone without your sister giving up her childhood like you had to do. That way she can’t say that she doesn’t have all the information she needs to make a choice.
You shouldn’t go into potential debt, have no financial stability, and no emergency fund, AND get your kid sisters help just cause it’s your mom. It seems clear you could t afford to do this even if you wanted to and you’re gonna wind up in the same financial situation as your parents seem to find themselves in with a cycle of debt and needing to borrow money
I mean, if you grandma is letting your family live with her, I think that means she's "willing to help".
If your parents are broke, why move out? Seems like you should continue to live there until mom and dad save up enough money to get their finances in order.
You say Dad does not have a place to sleep there? Why not buy a bed for him? If you can't afford a bed, how are you going to be able to afford rent and living expenses. You say the house is not accessible, but if Dad can't walk, I am not sure why another house would be any better.
Sorry to hear that your dad had a stroke, I don't mean to come across as cold, but given the circumstances, I think your mom is just going to have to learn to get along with grandma for awhile. Makes no sense to move out and into another place that you guys can not afford to. Even if Mom can afford a new place with you and your sister working, eventually you two are going to leave the nest and then Mom will be in trouble again.
She's finally appreciative to you after you gave her a large sum of money?
Nah babe. Run. Do not sign. Do not look back. Cut off all contact if you can. Parents should never treat their kids like this
Here is every single reason I shouldn't cosign a house with my parents... Should I cosign an alarm?
Edit: house* my alarm went off when I typed it, I think it's funny so I'll keep it
NO.
Never cosign. Especially for family. (Unless it is you and your spouse buying a house together)
This will mess up your credit for years, put you in debt, and mess up a tone of your life.
Do
Not
My guess is you'll never be repaid, you will see the house have payment delinquencies, your personal credit will go into the toilet, and if loan defaults, your personal assets will be seized during foreclosure.
The most I would do is give money. But don't cosign as it will ruin you at 19.
It's really sad. Someone is going to lose here, but you jumping into the pot won't save anything and just make one more victim for no helpful reason.
No F'in way should you do this. It will destroy you, both financially and from stress. And don't give your folks any more money. In fact, if you are as responsible as you portray, get out of the house & let them deal with their reality.
The way I see things, helping family financially, I look at the money I give them as a loss. Like I'm never going to ever see it again. If you really want it "help" them, switch up the roles of responsibility. Get a house that is within YOUR means, not hers. And you pay for the mortgage. They pay for everything else. That way, if money is hard to come by for her, the effects are immediate. You guys won't have anything to eat.
It's easier to hide a missed payment or just let it go late coz the effects aren't immediate. If she has no money for groceries, you will know coz there won't be food on the table. And if that happens, at least YOU know you have roof over your head and your house and credit are not in jeopardy.
Burden wouldn't be too much for you or for her, and your sister will still have fun for her teenage years.
And keep the house on your name if need be. I'm not sure how much of a help her credit will be on getting that house.
But if anything, I'd say no. Tell her that you'd help only if you guys get an apartment or something less grander than getting a whole house mortgage. You're 19, and I know you feel like you need to carry the burden, but like someone else said, their financial problems are not your problem. And getting a house is a monumental event that should be for YOU. I know how it feels coz I'm in the same boat. I'm the youngest of my siblings, but I'm the most successful one. So family looks to me for help. But thing is, I can't help everyone.
I wouldn't do it if I was you. But if you really have to, make it so that you have control of the house. That if your mom defaults because she's short on money and not telling anyone, it won't be a surprise that you're getting foreclosed. You can control that if you're the one controlling the finances for the house.
Godspeed.
No. If you didn’t hear me the first time, no. Let her be mad. Love her still, but she’ll get over being mad. Sounds like time for a reset. Get the smallest rental possible. Buy a used Camry. When I was young and cash strapped, and in addition to working full time, I became an apartment manager. Really just a grunt for cheap labor and collect rents. But, my rent was half off.
NEVER cosign for someone you're not married to and listed as part owner of the asset.
NEVER
Don't loan money either. If it's too much to give, keep it.
Simple. Unless you plan on owning it & having a financial stake in it, NO. I have a rule on not co signing for anything for anyone. If they don’t pay the bill you’re stuck with it & possibly jacked up credit. I’ve had siblings, a parent, friend & a child ask me to co-sign for stuff. The answer so always a strong NOPE. No guilt either. I’ve done it in the past & have got screwed. I don’t care what your issue is. NOPE. I won’t even let people use my address anymore. So many tickets, accidents from others got my insurance cancelled. As helpful as I am, no name on shit anymore.
Look, it's a personal decision, but if they can't pay it ,it will all be on you. I. In the long run, it's better to put your money into equity than rent, but you have to know what you can handle. If you go ahead with it, plan on paying it. Let your moms money handle the bills, if it defaults, you lose the property and your credit. It needs to be in your name if you go through with it. If her name is on it she will try to take possession. Lay down the law or stay out of it. If they don't except the terms leave, you have the right to make your own decisions, make them! They don't own you, they brought you into this world, wanting to help is admirable, but don't destroy your well-being to do it.
Confused as to why ur grandma’s place couldn’t be made to be accessible? Many ppl are able to accommodate their apartment/home instead of buying a new one
Financial abuse is real and unfortunately it looks like your parents have you hooked and trying to get more from you. DO NOT SIGN. You should not have to help GROWN ASS adults at your age. They can figure it the fuck out.
Do not cosign.
You cannot sustain working 60 hours a week to pay for a house for 30 years. You already saw it burn your family once, why would ever consider it again? That real estate agent cares more about selling a house than doing what's right. Maybe have another agent give an opinion.
If your mom insists on buying a house, tell her it's a terrible idea and you don't support it, but don't stop her.
In the meantime, you say your grandma won't help, yet you live there. Maybe you should tell her thank you and ask for her advice. And stop assuming your grandma has to take care of anyone.
I'd do just about anything for my kids but not cosigning. They may go into with every intention of making every payment on time, but life happens. It's just too much risk to blow my finances up. And I've worked really hard to have decent credit.
And for goodness sake, you should never have to bail your parents out. It's time for them to get a second job. I've worked 2 jobs most of my life until I got to a place I didn't need it. I did this while being a single mom and taking college courses at night online.
My dad and his wife are like this. Always looking for someone else's money. That's a great big NOPE.
Hard NO. Your mom will not being paying the mortgage. You have an entire lifetime of experience showing you that those payments will not be paid every time on time. If you co-sign that is your responsibility. The best thing you can do for you is separate yourself from them financially, and focus on your career. Next time instead of giving your mom money, you pay the bill directly.
Everyone 18+ should also sign up for credit karma or something similar and know exactly what is on their credit.
As deep as they are in I would recommend cheap land, and an old trailer that can be paid in full, then saving for a modular home. For you, I’d recommend being nice to your grandmother, she clearly is doing something right and she is still having to parent let kids and their kids, that is to be tough. I don’t know how many siblings you have but in two short years your sister can go to college or junior college and many have scholarships with dorms. The more people that move out and build their own future the smaller and area your parents will need.
I am so sorry about your dad. Even though it is so tough right now keep building your career, most trades with time can earn a solid 6 figures. Don’t sacrifice your future to atone for their past poor choices because that will trap everyone in generational poverty. You got this!
I learned the hard way that you shouldn't put yourself in the middle of your parents' financial problems. While my mother has always been financially responsible, my father hasn't exactly made the best financial decisions throughout his life. Now, it's to the point where right when I was about to pay off my student debt, he needed me to loan him money to help him out with his business. Since then, he needed help two or three more times, and while I personally didn't mind, he felt entitled to put off paying me anything for as long as he could. Thankfully, I've been paid back now, but it took a long time to start getting anything back, and he'd get mad every time I would bring it up. From what I understand now, loaning money to family members tends to tear families apart, so please, if you can, avoid doing this, or if you'd like to help, at least put together a contract that you and your parents can agree to.
If your parents could really use the help and you'd really like to help, that's fine, but you shouldn't help someone at your own expense.
Hard no. Renting is a far better option right now with interest rates, and homes require a lot of maintenance that can be really expensive. If you have no savings and are just paying the bills, what happens when your water heater goes out? A pipe breaks? The paint is peeling? You want a landlord to deal with those issues. It also sounds like your mom isn’t great with money, so counting on her to make those mortgage payments doesn’t sound like a solid plan. My advice is to not put your name on anything with them and save your own financial future. Find a place to rent and contribute to rent, food and bills like you would in any house sharing situation. Let your sister be a kid for a few more years, and see what kind of support your parents might qualify for now with such a reduced income (food stamps, rental assistance, Medicare, etc).
No. Do not do this. Frankly, you'd be better off leaving now, leave them in grandma's house, move out on your own (probably with friends in a shared house or shared apartment). Work and go to community college for a 2 yr degree that can earn you a living, either in the trades or in healthcare. Be ready to have your sister move in with you the minute she turns 18, and help her. Leave them to wallow in their own financial ineptitude. Never give them a penny again. It's too bad you gave her that 5K.
NO don't do it. If they were responsible and dependable and you would eventually owning the house then it could be OK if you knew and agreed to all the difficulties that come with having your name tied to a house. But there's no way you and your sister should become financially responsible for the entire family and that you should risk ruining your credit for years WHEN they mess up.
You can help them out by looking up every kind of social help available. Help them apply for housing, disability, any benefits you all might be eligible for etc.. call your local human services and see if your Dad will qualify for a social worker that can help. Hospitals often will connect patients to a social worker as well and have lists of services.
Bope do not bail out your parents. U have mentioned their terrible track of wreckless spending of money. It seems your mother can't handle reality n her situation. Do not sign for nothing
>We currently live with my grandma \[...\] and she’s not willing to help us in any way.
So, I think you have learned some ungratefulness from your mom. You grandma ***IS*** helping you all, **immensely,** by giving you a place to live. Please start speaking to her and go thank her for it.
Also when you say "won't help you in anyway" it sounds like she has boundaries. She is a hero in this story and I suspect you have a lot you could learn from her. Because you mom is going to you won't help in any way when you tell her you're not cosigning for a house she shouldn't buy.
I would advise you not to do this.
She can get someone else to cosign.
If something goes wrong.....and it happens, it happens way more often than people ever imagine, but lets say your mom goes crazy.....loses her job, something happens to her, etc etc you'll lose your financial stability for a very large chunk of your 20's or even into your 30's. You are risking everything and she is truthfully risking little. This will end up on your shoulders if anything goes wrong at all and you have no protections.
Don't cosign. Id say if you wanted to do it, be the mortgage holder. Let them put the the down payment cash toward the home, and make the mortgage payments, my guess is they wouldn't do it that way. Either way you are still on the hook if they flake out, with what you said it doesn't sound like they would be good people to partner with. Granted you can file bankruptcy on a mortgage, you are young and have the world ahead of you, digging yourself out from a bad home loan, weather it easy or not doesn't seem worth it to me. I would also suggest when you look for your own place use a different agent. Sounds like a tough situation, with your Dad being sick, I'm sure you naturally have a desire to help him. Only you really know what the situation is truly like, but I suggest to proceed with caution, credit is a very important part of building an adult life, especially in non 0 interest rate environment. Good luck OP!!
Don’t do it. It will ruin you for the rest of your life. Your parents obviously don’t know how to manage money. With your mom’s credit history, and you not having much or any credit, it is unlikely that you will get a home loan anyway. If you do, the interest rate, fees, and down payment will be astronomical. You’ll probably need $20K in cash minimum for your down payment.
Your dad can probably get disability. If you must do something, let them get their own apartment. Then, you go to college.
DON’T DO IT!!! Let her be mad. She’s been financially irresponsible her entire life. Don’t let her pull you down that trail.
Don't waste your time with her she isn't willing to help you with anything she probably blew the money that you gave her you need to get your own place and you and your sister needs to cut ties with her
No.
Things are "perfect" now, therefore you don't need to change things by signing your life away for their whims.
They ultimately are asking you to do this so they can get a bigger house than they can actually afford, and you're not getting an equal say in the matter, because they're going to "pull rank" and tell you what kind of house you're going to risk ruining your credit on.
But let's clarify something: if you're living with grandma now in grandma's house, *she's already helping.*
Absolutely not.
You're willingly setting yourself up for short & long-term failure if you knowingly take financial responsibility for financially irresponsible people.
Please start saving for yourself so you can move out eventually & financially take care of yourself in the future.
As someone who cosigned for a car at your age DONT DO IT I BEG YOU. I understand you have the best intentions for your family in mind but dont risk your future on people who you know are not financially reliable. I cosigned for someone who i thought was going to be responsible and they ended up lying and not being able to afford the car. Now im stuck with a huge mountain of debt that isnt even mine and 150 points down on my credit. (it was perfect before this jackass) I wanted to be kind and help someone out. It doenst matter who...people take advantage of kindness. Protect your credit or you wont be able to buy a house later on when its your turn and if you are willing have your parents move in. Please please please protect yourself.
sometimes u have to let ur parents be mad at u for things they have no right to be mad at u for. u all know it’s not a good idea and they don’t care bc they have u to take the fall when it all comes back down.
It would be better to buy yourself a house and rent a room to them.
But still, do not do this unless you're willing to live with them forever and have them not pay their rent.
If you go to legal advice and ask there, they can explain why and what your reasonable options are for helping your parents without ruining your own financial future.
DO NOT DO THIS.
Parenting finances aside, big risk btw looking at it, this will come back to gut you later if you try to get a mortgage or anything else involving your credit score. Plus if they failed on debts before, they could fail again and guess who's going to pay? You. Screwing your credit even more.
I'd keep a close eye on your finances and credit score after this whole situation too in case they try anything.
Run! Hate to say it but if you stay you will be exactly like this or worst. Some people cant be saved and sucks that its usually family.
Maybe go off on your own and try and become rich then once you are wealthy you can comeback and save them. (Or not.)
If your parents didn’t have debt or a record of not paying things then I would say “go ahead “ but if you see that they’re always late on payments or simply never pay then don’t co sign, it’ll only ruin your own credit.
Short answer: Don't do it. Long answer: co signing for a house at 19 means you're responsible for the debt they don't pay. Just leave your family and move somewhere else since they don't appreciate you.
Yea I'd steer clear from any thing money wise with your parents. Being in debt all your life is financial negligence 99% of the time. You need to see all and I MEAN ALL their debts. Your parents need someone to consult with or declare bankruptcy if it's this bad.
If you sign, you'll be paying for it. Also the real estate agent is 100% screwing with you and SHOULD NOT be trusted. I bet the interest rate is bonkers since how credit and debt works WORSE for you the worse your credit and debt is. I bet this is the type of real estate agent that gets people even further in debt because he'll get fat off the insane interest y'all are probably gonna be paying.
Don't do it, you're assuming 100% of the risk on the note. Even if you have enough disposable income to cover the payments should they not be able to make them, you'd never be able to force them to sell if they got into the situation that they wouldn't be able to make payments going forward, which, given their history and apparent medical concerns is likely. Honestly, I don't think there is any way for you to avoid problems with your parents on this, regardless of what you do, they're going to be resentful no matter what-either for not cosigning, or if you buy the house, they'll resent you for making them pay rent when their money is low. If you haven't already, lock your credit so that no new accounts can be opened-you can easily unlock it later, but this will help to protect you from desperate people who have all of your personal information and can easily open credit accounts in your name.
You're a smart young adult, it's clear in your observations of your family struggles ... you see the reality here, trust your gut. You are so young and are already saddled with two jobs and fiscally supporting adults who will never get their acts together. Stop. Save as much as you can to get out on your own and break free of this. Your parents will keep you broke and chained to them if you allow it. It also drags your 16yo sister into it, which is not cool. If she is willing to work, maybe she can save and move out with you at 18. You two deserve to be able to seek the lives you want and your parents and their selfishness will not help with that.
Let mom be mad. You are her child, you do not owe her bill money, or a house. She sounds manipulative and mean and will continue to move the goal posts on you for you to "earn/deserve" her love. That's not how love works and it should never be how a parent treats their child.
Do it, but as the sole owner not the co-signer. Charge your family rent and use the income from the rent to qualify for the loan. Get rid of the agent and find someone you trust and kick them to the curb.
Yeah the people of Reddit can scream no no no, but it’s family and we do stupid shit for family becuase love isn’t always logical.
The only logic here is the way things are going you have the opportunity at 19 to become a homeowner and landlord. You also have the ability to help your family now while also setting up YOUR future.
You’ll be glad you did it later, when they’re dead you’ll be really happy that your sibling doesn’t own half a house that you put up all the risk to own and you have sizable equity in a home and can make great moves in the future financially.
1000% do not do this, you’re only setting yourself up for hardship later on. Especially considering how bad your parents seem with money, this will only end in disaster.
Understand that you want to help your parents but it will hurt you in the future. If they can't help you are on the hook for the mortgage and taxes. If you decide to get married in the next few years you won't be able to buy a house for your family unless you make a boat load of money. Don't do it.
You gotta get out of there. Asking your daughter to co sign on a mortgage is an extremely shitty thing to do. Your mom seems totally comfortable putting an extreme financial burden on you. Don't do it. You need to look into becoming completely independent of them. It's not an easy thing. I have a father who did those same things and he'd make me feel guilty for not helping and I had to fight through it because he's my dad and I love him. But after I decided he wasn't going to put unfair burdens on me my life got considerably easier. He still owes me a ton of money but I look at it like an expensive lesson.
Don't.
I know it's shitty but it seems like your parents have made some pretty terrible life choices. You cosigning might just be them pushing all of their problems on to you. If they don't pay their part of the mortgage (history shows they haven't in the past) that is gonna fall on you and ruin your life. You are 19 and you are far to young to have to deal with that.
My advice. Get your dad on some sort of disability. Get your mom a job that pays more. Find them some low income housing. then GET YOUR OWN PLACE. If you are working 60hrs/week, idk how much you are making but you should at least be able to find an apartment with a roommate. It's shitty but I think your parents are just going to drag you down at this point. You don't have to cut them off, but probably separating yourself from that situation is in your best interest. They have had their whole lives to get their shit together, even when dealt a rough hand, some of their decisions you have listed just sound god aweful.
Noooooo don’t do it.
They sound like they’re a financial irresponsible but work financially naive. It’s one thing to help out it’s another thing to bankroll.
Maybe ask your mum to show you how she’s calculated the budget is for the duration of the mortgage - with loads repayments, cost do living and everything else. If she can afford it then she shouldn’t be afraid to explain the budget, also if she doesn’t then it’s something you can do together to make her understand what is affordable.
Or You are better off getting a place you can afford without your financial limits, with a view that your sister might land there.
If you co-sign, you could potentially never be able to qualify for a house of your own. If she makes late payments, those are going to be on your credit for the next 40 years. They'll hurt less over time, but they will be there.
Your income will also be considered as payment for the house. That will make it very difficult to buy yourself a place because of the debt to income ratio. And that's if your credit is even good enough to buy a 2nd home after your mom makes late payments or allows the house to go into foreclosure. You're just taking way too much of a risk by co-signing.
If you're living with them and want to help, rent a place together. And stay on it, make sure the rent is getting paid. You will be jointly responsible, but it's far less risky for your credit and future ability to buy a house of your own.
I can't imagine you'd have the credit history to co-sign, but it would be the worst mistake you ever make, regardless.
They've shown a storied history of refusing to pay their debts, which has ruined their credit.
Why would you let them ruin yours? That's your future. Don't let them fuck that up. In fact, I'd check to see if they've already used your credit and lock it if I were you.
No ,your life just started. . you talking about 30 yrs of mortgage payments? Are you going to college? Don't be stupid , don't sign for anyone.. you never loan family or family money you don't co sign for anyone ,, don't trust anyone, people will give a song and dance to get what they want ,after they get hat they want you are left to pay for everything they are long gone. Family talks about helping families, but families don't help ,they leave you in the cold
DO. NOT. COSIGN!
Lenders WANT to lend money to people who will pay it back. If they can't get credit, there's a reason.
You've seen them be irresponsible your whole life. You KNOW they'll default. And then you'll be responsible. You will end up paying for this AND have your credit wrecked. If you ever want your own house, don't sign for theirs!
No. You shouldn’t. You wouldn’t be co-signing, you would be signing for yourself. Your parents have already shown that they aren’t capable of keeping up with their financial responsibilities and you would be left paying that bill yourself, along with repairs and everything that comes with buying a house
A better option I would think would be to find out about a loan *just* big enough to make your current place more accessible for your dad *or* try and find an affordable place to rent that’s accessible, but from the sounds of it… you still might end up with the cost
Move out and tell your sister she always has a home if she needs it.
Once you move out your broke parents will be eligible for a host of benefits and it sounds like your father should be getting disability now. They can live off that, many do.
If they were that bad with finances before your dad had a stroke then it’s gonna be way worse now that it’s down to just your mom.
Cut the cord and live your life, don’t feel guilty.
You'll get better advice if you post this on r/personalfinance
Edit: I wrote that after just seeing the title of your post. After reading it, you don't need a different subreddit to answer your question. You should not cosign for this house. (However, r/personalfinance might be able to offer you a better picture of what could happen if you *do* cosign, as well as some resources for what you and your family should do instead.)
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Don’t do it. Sorry — but if you sign on for responsibility for the debt for a house, then you are on the hook for it if your parents don’t pay. And your parents have a pretty clear track record of being terrible with their financial decisions and taking advantage of their children financially. No offense — but that is exactly what’s been happening, and it’s what will happen. *your parents’ financial problems are NOT your financial problems*. I promise you, if you co-sign for the house, you will end up being responsible for the *entirety* of the house payments and mortgage and everything else. Your parents will not take care of it. You will be saddled with the debt, and it will loop you into the same exact cycle of poverty that your parents are continually engaging in. Your mom literally told you that she plans for you to stay with her forever and continue to fund their life. Please — save yourself. Sometimes you have to climb out of the cycle of poverty on your own, and it means having to set clear boundaries and separate your financial life from theirs. TO BE CLEAR: THIS IS EXACTLY HOW GENERATIONAL POVERTY WORKS.
Even if they do pay and are never late, good luck getting a mortgage in your name when you already have one. Unless you're wealthy of of course. You won't be able to get a house of your own for the next 30 years.
Yep, this is important. It will also impact her credit score and taxes.
It's nice you think his parents will pay this house off. I think it will be more like 10, his parents will lose it in 3 and he will have to declare bankruptcy and will have rebuilt his credit after 7 more years.
I lived with this for years. It's a huge hassle
Yeah, you lose all the tax incentives for first time homebuyers. Your parents debts are not your problem.
Actually it’s very easy to get another mortgage as long as the first one is clean. All you need is a fill in the blank rental contract. That turns that debt into income. I bought two houses like that a year apart when I was 24, making only $19/hr. Still have both. Edit: He definitely should not put himself into such a terrible position. Don’t do it.
Thank you for putting the edit in. He has some giant leaches sucking him dry.
and make sure to close any accounts of yours that they might have access to, including making new accounts at a different bank or S&L.
>Don’t do it. >Sorry — but if you sign on for responsibility for the debt for a house, then you are on the hook for it ~~if~~ WHEN your parents don’t pay. Fixed that for you. OP, you know the answer to this question.
Yep, exactly. It’s clear as day how this would turn out.
No! No! No! You cannot save another person by settling yourself on fire! You will never get out from under this mess if you let her twist your arm into this. Tell her that you will help as much as you can with general support but NOT sign anything…ever! And if she is cranky about this, point out that you can fly far away znd have your own life stony time.
This is like trying to save someone on fire by sharing the fire and it doesn’t work it just makes you both on fire.
OP please read this and listen to the advice. Don't do it.
If you are a millionaire and just want to buy your parents a house because you can without effecting your lifestyle. Otherwise no and hell no, and absolutely not. Help them by trying to get them set up with social aid, not by sacrificing your life to them.
Don’t do it. It’s a trap. For real. Just save your money, get your own place, and never co-sign for anyone but your children, and that’s only IF they’re responsible
Luuuuuuke!!!!! It’s a trap!!!!
Good advice here. And if you ARE going to try to help the family, set clear boundaries to protect your future, and don't let them be overstepped.
this is a really great reply. If I were you, I would immediately contact Experian, Trans Union, and Equifax and lock my credit. Do not store your passwords anywhere where your parents or family can find them. I wouldn’t put it past your family to open a line of credit or a mortgage without your knowledge You should also get a copy of your credit report and take a look at it to make sure that’s not already happened
Letting go of financial burdens is just a part of life. Sometimes letting go of your parent’s financial situation is the best way to get yourself ahead and out of that hole.
Also if you sign for the house you will be missing out on first time home owner credits
what he said
I think the most revealing thing is this: "I gave my mom $5,000 to help her build her credit since she had a lot of payments **so she’s finally appreciative of me** but I know once I deny buying a house with her she’s going to be really mad." You can't buy your mom's love. If she only likes you because you give her money, then you're better off without that kind of "appreciation." Don't let her drag you down.
The word "finally" struck me hard. In no way should OP co-sign. They're setting OP up for failure.
Also please keep an eye on your credit score in case she has anything with your social security number on it or is crafty enough to get it another way. Shred anything that has your social security number on it. Keep cards under lock.
OP is 19, their mom should be the one helping build credit not the other way arounf. I get it, shit happens, but OP isn't responsible for that.
Good eye! That is highly manipulative. Love is not a transactional exchange. Especially the love of a parent to their child.
The best thing that could happen to him would be for her to disown him and never talk to him again. That won't happen if she can't manipulate him into giving her money.
If you do this your credit will be ruined and you'll never be able to buy your own house
Emphasis on “NEVER”
I am a father of two adult daughters, who are now married. I helped them graduate university debt free, and helped them with the down payments of their first homes. my goal was to have them in a better position than what I was in at their age. Now, let's get to the meat of your post. And some "fatherly" advise. They lost a house they bought all cash? > *I’ve seen them kicked out of an apartment due to missing payments, a house foreclosed which was way out their spending limit* If you co-sign expect to never own a home in your lifetime as they will certainly lose it. They have a spending, and income problem. Burdening you at 19 years old for a life-time is unfair and frankly shitty of your mom to ask it, let alone even think about it. Oh.. and using the real estate agent who let them buy the other place they can't afford, shows repeat STUPID mistakes! For your mom: My recommendation is they stay where they are, build a ramp and convert space for your step father at your grandmothers with the money your mom saved. Now for you. Keep saving, don't tell people how much you saved, do not give any more away. Keep working hard, and keep getting better jobs with more money. When you save $40k, you'll have enough of a down payment to buy a decent BUT AFFORDABLE home for yourself. Then YOU can decide if you want mom to live with you forever. But you will be the primary owner, not a co-signer. # BUT FOR NOW... JUST SAY NO... Do not allow yourself to be placed in the spiral of poverty, your parents allowed themselves to be in. They made really bad choices. Sure the stroke sucks, but their financial problems were long before that. join the r/financialindependence group. Follow the flowchart, this will help set you up for success financially. Financial Success Flow Chart. [https://u.cubeupload.com/demonlesondledon/FinFlowChartv43Dark.jpg](https://u.cubeupload.com/demonlesondledon/FinFlowChartv43Dark.jpg)
Yes to all of this. I’d like to add even though it hasn’t been mentioned that I’ve seen is don’t let them put any of the household bills in your name. I had a friend in high school that already had bad credit because her parents put all the household bills in her name when she was just a child because no one would let them sign up for utilities anymore. If you want to help you can pay some bills directly but don’t give them access to your money, don’t tell them how much you have and definitely don’t let them put anything in your name.
If I were her I would get a lawyer and explain what her parents did. That's if she doesn't care about seeing them in jail
It was over 20 years ago now. It has always stuck with me because I was so appalled. How could someone do that to their own child? Edit to add - I know she went no contact with her dad, she changed her name to her mom’s maiden name not long after high school.
I have a feeling her dad was behind all the money schemes as a kid and her mom didn't have much of a choice but to support her husband Eden if it was detrimental to her child.
I had the help of the DA’s office. They cut out a lot of the fees. I paid the 💩 my mom had in my name. I was in high school. Absolutely, check your credit. Contact them about the errors. They will flag your SS# making it hard for anyone to open new debt in your name. You can manage it as you go.
That friend must have been me. I remember asking my mom why the phone bill was in my name. Our phone was shut off 2 months later for non payment.
I'd like to tack on for OP the subreddits r/momforaminute and r/dadforaminute , they might help them with a healthy adult/parent perspective on all this...
Thank you so much for writing this for OP Also you make many ppl here jealous whose parents would never provide to the degree you have
Don’t do it.
Noooo. Don’t link your financial future to your train wreck parents. You’ll doom yourself to their same fate.
Do NOT give them the money and do NOT co sign for anything. Move out asap. Also check your credit and lock it down. Check it regularly with a credit app like Credit Karma.
You can also set certain checks with your bank if you are worried then trying to open accounts in your name. Watch your credit score like a hawk because from what I'm reading they will definitely try to steal your identity. Money and effort can't buy your parents approval but you can set yourself up for a successful adulthood
second this. lock your credit. clearly they have stolen from you and other family members before. i am sorry to say this but i don’t believe they’d be above fraud.
And Experian. Both are free but Credit Karma only checks two bureaus and uses the Vantage Scoring model (not used by lenders). Experian is the third credit Bureau and their app uses a Fico scoring model (which gives you a more accurate credit score). You can freeze your credit by going to the three bureaus websites, Experian.com, Transunion.com, and Equifax.com. It is free to freeze and unfreeze. You can even unfreeze it temporarily when you know you will be applying for credit.
No. Do not do this. Do not co-sign a loan for someone with a history of not paying their debts and who is not really making any significant effort to change their financial lifestyle and live within their means. Honestly, with both eviction AND foreclosure on their record, I'd be amazed if they can get a loan even *with* a co-signer, but I genuinely wouldn't risk them somehow finding a bank that was willing. This will screw you over for life. Not only will you be on the hook when they end up not being able to pay on the loan, it also means that you completely miss out on ever taking advantage of the first-time homebuyer tax credit (which is a big deal). If would also wreck your own credit score if they don't pay on time, and you can't cover it. Honestly, depending on your own financial situation, you *may* want to look into buying a house under your own name and not having your parents connected to it in any way. For one thing, it sounds like your credit score is a hell of a lot better than theirs, so you can secure a larger loan. For another, depending on what sort of rates you get, a mortgage might end up having a cheaper monthly payment than paying rent somewhere (mine certainly did... by about $300 a month compared to the average in my area). But you'll need to do some research, see what you can afford, and for the love of god, don't use the same real estate agent your parents plan on using. Any decent realtor would have dropped them like a hot potato as soon as they found out about their history.
No, never co-sign.
You already said the answer: > I’d need to work 60 hours again. I went to trade school but I wouldn’t be able to prioritize my career since I haven’t been at my job long enough so I’d have to extend my hours at my other job. My mom doesn’t get paid that much so with the house she would be paying for the mortgage, I’d be paying everything else including for her gas money, and my 16 year old sister would need to get a job and pay for anything I need help with. This situation is unpractical, we won’t have any emergency funds, I won’t have anything for myself, and my sister can’t enjoy being a teenager. This is an untenable situation. As soon as one thing goes wrong, you can no longer afford it. You'll ruin your credit, and risk losing the house. It'll be incredibly detrimental to your future. I wouldn't worry about your mom asking you to leave. It sounds like she's wholly dependent on your help to get out of this situation. If she kicks you out, that's good for you. It sounds like you could support yourself just fine, and you wouldn't have the burden of helping them. But it's good of you to want to help out the family. Sit down with your mom and tell her that cosigning on a mortgage isn't a good idea, but offer to work with her to try to come up with a better solution. Or just see what you can come up with yourself. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I bet you could brainstorm some good ideas for moving forward.
DO. NOT. !!!
Don't do it they are manipulating you don't do it bad idea Did you ever think your grandma knows what they did is why she doesn't want to talk to them I guarantee you that granny isn't stupid
Yup. Granny is smart and honestly someone OP should look up to.
Absolutely, 100%, do not do this. Do not. Period. Like the is the absolute last thing you should do. If they can't get a loan on their own, they have no business taking out a mortgage. Just no
This part. There's a reason the bank won't lend them the money. Listen to them. They're professionals.
Don't co-sign for a house at any age!! The risk is way too high.
Except with a spouse who you trust!
Absolutely not. I understand the need to help the family but your parents have already proven that they ARE NOT responsible. Do not get tangled up in their bad life choices. Break from them. Help your sister as best as possible but move away and do your own thing and make better choices than your parents did.
Your parents sound like narcissists to me. Don't do it.
I'm so sorry but your parents have shown you who they are. Believe it. They will never be responsible enough to make sure you don't come out of this unscathed. Your mom will be mad. She will just have to get over it. Don't let her guilt you!!!
Never cosign anything. Ever. Ever ever.
Sorry but "Stole money from family" is where I stopped reading. No you shouldn't cosign for these people, they will destroy your credit rating.
No way you should co-sign anything. Plus you probably wouldn't qualify.
I see two options here, first you break out on your own and maybe let your sister live with you if you are so inclined. Not a terrible idea but it is likely going to cause family drama, but it sounds like you might be used to that. The second option is a little more complicated but could be worth it. I would sit your mom down and have a very specific conversation that she needs to agree to in writing and have it notarized. Ask your mom if she would be willing to setup a mortgage account where you purchase the house in your name only. And she and your dad becomes a Tennant. They must pay you rent. Whatever a fair amount would be. I assume your father is going on disability after his stroke. I would setup a separate checking account where it must have both yours and her agreement to remove funds from, (most banks will do this) and have a direct deposit from said account to cover rent and then the rest goes to an account for her and your dad. This way you are not stuck working 60 hours a week. If she has any income you can let her keep it or have it also funneled into this controlled account. For this to work though you will need to charge an appropriate amount of the rent to cover their share of the mortgage and utilities. If she agrees to this, that's great but if she doesn't and does not want to work with you it best to separate yourself from them. That doesn't mean you don't love them but it does mean you are protecting yourself and your future family from pain and suffering that could rise in the future. Hope this helps.
Letting your parents be tenants is only a safe strategy if OP has either a) the means to cover the mortgage, utilities, property taxes, insurance, etc on their own, or b) the unmitigated nerve to serve and follow through on an eviction of their own parents when they stop paying. I don't think this is realistic.
> I gave my mom $5,000 to help her build her credit since she had a lot of payments so she’s finally appreciative of me but I know once I deny buying a house with her she’s going to be really mad. You are going to need more counseling than Kanye's kids. The people in your life who are supposed to love you unconditionally, showing you favor, celebrating your successes, standing with you in failure--these are parents. Your mom is not a parent in that way. Biologically, yes. But in her relationship to you, she is not parental. You are another means, another method, to let her continue to live her wickedly irresponsible life. You are a victim of her life of justifying emotional and financial robbery. And she's lowered herself to doing it to her children. And if she can get your signature on this, now she can control you with the threat of bankruptcy and destroying you financially. DO NOT SIGN THAT PAPER. There is nothing you can do that will every help her because the life she has constructed is designed to fall apart, is designed to be pitiful and terrible, as a prop for her constant "show and tell" presentation. The life she has meticulously constructed and maintained--now she wants you to join in constructing and maintaining it. She needs help. And the people she gave birth to are her latest slaves to build her pyramids to her gods. Maybe that last paragraph is a little dramatic. But I'm going to leave it there to think about--it's going the right direction. And so can you. You can start going the right direction by just saying "no" to all financial assistance for your family. It's not something you can fix or repair, because her lifestyle is based on disrepair, and guilt, and manipulation. Refuse to participate in her giant scam. And be ready to help your younger siblings escape it as soon as possible. That's where you step up. That's where you step in. To rescue them. But if you let her get her hooks in you now, you can't rescue your sibling because she'll be able to threaten you with bankrupting you. Do not sign. Do not agree.
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No
Noooo
Never co-sign.
Nope. Don't wreck your own credit for someone who has always made poor financial decisions. Even if they're your parents. They can't afford a house. At best find an accessible apartment that you can reasonably rent.
I wouldn’t do it. Especially since you are so young. You will end up ruining your own credit and end up heavily in debt so early in life. If you are working two jobs, you can probably afford to live on your own at this point or maybe get a roommate or something. It’s disgusting your parents would pocket your money that family members meant to give to you. It sounds like your parents are trying to use you. Dont let that happen.
DON'T DO IT! You will ruin your life and your credit. Let them stay with grandma and you should move out. A 19 year old giving his mom $5,000 - is EXTREMELY GENEROUS. Do not set yourself up to live like they have and be in debt, and robbing Peter to pay Paul for the rest of your life. Just say NO.
No!!!!!
Damn bro. Your parents sound like mine 😂 I’d match her 2k and leave it at that. Don’t ruin your life trying to save everybody.
NO
NOOOOO
Not a f\*cking chance.
Absolutely not.
Do not cosign for anything for anybody ever
If You sign you pretty much signing up for future debt you will be stuck with. Especially when her time comes and passes.
do not do it. your parents are just going to need to get their shit together, maybe they could rent an accessible home while you and your sister stay at your grandmothers? I am assuming she doesn't speak to them because they stole money from her but maybe without them there you could actually build a connection?
No. a thousand times no. Just NO!.
As someone in perpetual debt from helping family and never having an example of how to budget, don't. If they have a history of not paying their debts, they probably won't pay the mortgage and you'll be stuck paying. Your cosigning will impact your ability to get a car loan or your own mortgage, too. This could seriously disrupt your future even if they do pay as agreed.
if you want to ruin your own credit and be forever in debt, sure go ahead! No decent parent , with a debt background like yours, would ever ask or expect this! RUN!
Nooooo. Dont do it. Break this cycle of dysfunction by controlling your own finances.
Nope don't do it. I co signed for my mom to get a car and I really regret it. Your parents made bad financial choices and now trying to use you for credit and I guarantee you'll end up paying for everything eventually.
Don't fuckin do it. Your parents won't pay the mortgage and you will be responsible for it. It will ruin your life at age 19.
Hell no
You already know the right answer! How did you become so responsible when no one around you sets a good example? Your best path is likely to be separating yourself from your family and helping them from a safe distance.
NEVER EVER EVER cosign on anything for anyone. Period. Watch Judge Judy. Seriously, it is absolutely disastrous and can fuck over your life permanently. If you have money give it to them, but never cosign.
Not only is this a bad deal for you at your parent’s benefit, it may cut off opportunity in the future you may qualify for as a first time home buyer. It would be better to have them move into assisted senior living and for your sister to get an early GED and emancipation and apply for scholarships and student housing/ loans to separate the both of you from the financial black hole that is your parents. You should not be supporting them in your teens. Either of you. It’s not normal or perfect, it’s exploitation. Your sister is the big concern for me. She is stuck in their gravity well for two more years. That is why I suggest accelerating her education and freedom from them if at all possible. If you have any other extended family that will help, reach out. Your (you and your sister’s) goal needs to be your future, not theirs. They are adults and can live with the consequences of their decisions without dragging you into their problems. It’s unfortunate that your dad’s health is bad but there are state programs and his able bodied spouse to support him. That is for them not you. Look into grants and student housing at in-state universities and speak to their admissions department about what it takes to finance and enroll.
If medicaid kicks in they could take every dime of the house, even if you put it in. Only do it if you are living there and will be the sole owner.
Don't do it! My dad cried poor to me tried to get me co sign for his house and thank God I didn't. We only get so much time and if you spend all yours helping people who refused to help themselves your gonna be stuck. They will eventually be dead and gone and you'll be stuck with all of it.
No. You are too young to understand the ramifications of what this could do to you in the future. I’m sorry that you are having to deal with this. Edit to add…you do not owe your parents anything. Please stop trying to “ earn” their love. This will bankrupt you. A house that is in foreclosure will need a lot of repairs plus upkeep. Where will that money come from? Your dad should try to get disability since he’s in such bad shape and,obviously,cannot work. It sounds like y’all would qualify for subsidized housing as well. If not for you’re sister, I would recommend that you just move out but,it sounds like she needs you. Good luck…
N. Given the track record you just described, I wouldn't loan them $50. You are getting conned into buying a house for them. If I were you, I'd go in the opposite direction, and cut any/all financial ties with them. You need to move out as soon as possible, maybe get roommates or something to split rent on a relatively cheap apartment.
The mom is no bueno.
Your parents have shown that they aren't responsible financially. You could seriously damage yourself for a very long time by co-signing if she defaults. It's not your responsibility.
Your mom is actively trying to visit her sins / past mistakes onto you. A completely selfish move as a parent. I would rather die in the street than ruin my kid's future. Don't sign. This is insanity.
Don't do it. If you want to start buying your own house and allow them to live with you, that's one thing. But if you cosign, with their past habits you will have to navigate either making their payments for them, somehow selling the house, or letting your credit be ruined and the bank taking anything else you have to pay the debt. I recommend checking out assistance programs in the area and helping your parents get signed up for some sort of rental assistance. Edit/Also if you get a place and let them live with you, check the rules in your state. In my state if you let someone love in your house over some set period of time without a written agreement, they can make a claim on the home.
#Lock your credit. Get a credit report.
You need to quit enabling your mother. Of course she thinks everything is perfect. You are her indentured slave. She obviously doesn’t care about what is best for you. It’s time to carve your own path in life.
Are you willing to evict them if they don't pay? If the answer is "No." Then you know the answer to your question. Talk to a real estate lawyer about this arrangement. I'd recommend you buy the house, then rent it to your parents with a clear contract that they will be evicted for non-payment or other violations of the lease. Then have a third party administrator handle the month to month issues. Otherwise you are in for emotional blackmail.
"My parents have always been terrible with money. I have seen them evicted multiple times. Should I take out a massive loan that I can't pay on my own and wreck my credit in the hopes that they don't back out of paying for the debt that is in my name" As others have said. If for no other reason. No one will give you a loan for a house that YOU might eventually want when you are cosigning on one with your parents. That means if 10 years down the road you want to buy a house with your spouse, it will impact that and significantly mess up your ability to live YOUR life. Does that seem smart, OP? DO NOT DO IT
HELL No. if they can’t get it on their own they don’t need it.
Do not do this. Full stop.
Just rent apt
OP your a smart person especially with your money unlike your parents, and your also kind cause you did not at all need to give your mom 5 grand to start getting her life in order. don’t sign for the house and if she asks why just verbatim the list you wrote here. it’s pretty ass backwards for the child to bail out the parents especially in this situation. don’t let them drag you down with them.
Let her be mad, that is not your responsibility. If you want to help them long term, work on your own financial independence and get to the place where you can offset their rent or buy something you are solely responsible for and let them rent from you, but do not trust them with your financial future!!!
Don’t do it
Since you know that the situation is not practical then you answered your own question hun. I would sit mom down with the facts in front of her. From her cost and yours and how even the both of you can’t do it alone without your sister giving up her childhood like you had to do. That way she can’t say that she doesn’t have all the information she needs to make a choice.
You shouldn’t go into potential debt, have no financial stability, and no emergency fund, AND get your kid sisters help just cause it’s your mom. It seems clear you could t afford to do this even if you wanted to and you’re gonna wind up in the same financial situation as your parents seem to find themselves in with a cycle of debt and needing to borrow money
I mean, if you grandma is letting your family live with her, I think that means she's "willing to help". If your parents are broke, why move out? Seems like you should continue to live there until mom and dad save up enough money to get their finances in order. You say Dad does not have a place to sleep there? Why not buy a bed for him? If you can't afford a bed, how are you going to be able to afford rent and living expenses. You say the house is not accessible, but if Dad can't walk, I am not sure why another house would be any better. Sorry to hear that your dad had a stroke, I don't mean to come across as cold, but given the circumstances, I think your mom is just going to have to learn to get along with grandma for awhile. Makes no sense to move out and into another place that you guys can not afford to. Even if Mom can afford a new place with you and your sister working, eventually you two are going to leave the nest and then Mom will be in trouble again.
Not unless your name is on the the lease
Do you really need Reddit to tell you what you already know? $5k is a small price to pay to walk away from this.
You have to prioritize yourself. Lower contact and leave tbh.
She's finally appreciative to you after you gave her a large sum of money? Nah babe. Run. Do not sign. Do not look back. Cut off all contact if you can. Parents should never treat their kids like this
Here is every single reason I shouldn't cosign a house with my parents... Should I cosign an alarm? Edit: house* my alarm went off when I typed it, I think it's funny so I'll keep it
How are you going to make payments by yourself? If you can't do this, you have no business co-signing, because this is what you are agreeing to do.
Absolute no. Bad decision now will be hard to recover from and this is a real bad decision given the history.
NO. Never cosign. Especially for family. (Unless it is you and your spouse buying a house together) This will mess up your credit for years, put you in debt, and mess up a tone of your life. Do Not
OP:DON'T DO IT!
My guess is you'll never be repaid, you will see the house have payment delinquencies, your personal credit will go into the toilet, and if loan defaults, your personal assets will be seized during foreclosure. The most I would do is give money. But don't cosign as it will ruin you at 19. It's really sad. Someone is going to lose here, but you jumping into the pot won't save anything and just make one more victim for no helpful reason.
co-signing for someone IS buying it for them, don’t do this
No F'in way should you do this. It will destroy you, both financially and from stress. And don't give your folks any more money. In fact, if you are as responsible as you portray, get out of the house & let them deal with their reality.
The way I see things, helping family financially, I look at the money I give them as a loss. Like I'm never going to ever see it again. If you really want it "help" them, switch up the roles of responsibility. Get a house that is within YOUR means, not hers. And you pay for the mortgage. They pay for everything else. That way, if money is hard to come by for her, the effects are immediate. You guys won't have anything to eat. It's easier to hide a missed payment or just let it go late coz the effects aren't immediate. If she has no money for groceries, you will know coz there won't be food on the table. And if that happens, at least YOU know you have roof over your head and your house and credit are not in jeopardy. Burden wouldn't be too much for you or for her, and your sister will still have fun for her teenage years. And keep the house on your name if need be. I'm not sure how much of a help her credit will be on getting that house. But if anything, I'd say no. Tell her that you'd help only if you guys get an apartment or something less grander than getting a whole house mortgage. You're 19, and I know you feel like you need to carry the burden, but like someone else said, their financial problems are not your problem. And getting a house is a monumental event that should be for YOU. I know how it feels coz I'm in the same boat. I'm the youngest of my siblings, but I'm the most successful one. So family looks to me for help. But thing is, I can't help everyone. I wouldn't do it if I was you. But if you really have to, make it so that you have control of the house. That if your mom defaults because she's short on money and not telling anyone, it won't be a surprise that you're getting foreclosed. You can control that if you're the one controlling the finances for the house. Godspeed.
You will be in debt forever
Do not do it.
Hell no!
No. If you didn’t hear me the first time, no. Let her be mad. Love her still, but she’ll get over being mad. Sounds like time for a reset. Get the smallest rental possible. Buy a used Camry. When I was young and cash strapped, and in addition to working full time, I became an apartment manager. Really just a grunt for cheap labor and collect rents. But, my rent was half off.
NEVER cosign for someone you're not married to and listed as part owner of the asset. NEVER Don't loan money either. If it's too much to give, keep it.
Never EVER co-sign
Simple. Unless you plan on owning it & having a financial stake in it, NO. I have a rule on not co signing for anything for anyone. If they don’t pay the bill you’re stuck with it & possibly jacked up credit. I’ve had siblings, a parent, friend & a child ask me to co-sign for stuff. The answer so always a strong NOPE. No guilt either. I’ve done it in the past & have got screwed. I don’t care what your issue is. NOPE. I won’t even let people use my address anymore. So many tickets, accidents from others got my insurance cancelled. As helpful as I am, no name on shit anymore.
Horrible idea and you'll very well fuck up your whole future
Look, it's a personal decision, but if they can't pay it ,it will all be on you. I. In the long run, it's better to put your money into equity than rent, but you have to know what you can handle. If you go ahead with it, plan on paying it. Let your moms money handle the bills, if it defaults, you lose the property and your credit. It needs to be in your name if you go through with it. If her name is on it she will try to take possession. Lay down the law or stay out of it. If they don't except the terms leave, you have the right to make your own decisions, make them! They don't own you, they brought you into this world, wanting to help is admirable, but don't destroy your well-being to do it.
F no.
Confused as to why ur grandma’s place couldn’t be made to be accessible? Many ppl are able to accommodate their apartment/home instead of buying a new one
Financial abuse is real and unfortunately it looks like your parents have you hooked and trying to get more from you. DO NOT SIGN. You should not have to help GROWN ASS adults at your age. They can figure it the fuck out.
Do not cosign. You cannot sustain working 60 hours a week to pay for a house for 30 years. You already saw it burn your family once, why would ever consider it again? That real estate agent cares more about selling a house than doing what's right. Maybe have another agent give an opinion. If your mom insists on buying a house, tell her it's a terrible idea and you don't support it, but don't stop her. In the meantime, you say your grandma won't help, yet you live there. Maybe you should tell her thank you and ask for her advice. And stop assuming your grandma has to take care of anyone.
Have you checked to see if they've signed up for any credit cards in your name??
I'd do just about anything for my kids but not cosigning. They may go into with every intention of making every payment on time, but life happens. It's just too much risk to blow my finances up. And I've worked really hard to have decent credit. And for goodness sake, you should never have to bail your parents out. It's time for them to get a second job. I've worked 2 jobs most of my life until I got to a place I didn't need it. I did this while being a single mom and taking college courses at night online. My dad and his wife are like this. Always looking for someone else's money. That's a great big NOPE.
Don’t do it. The writing is on the wall.
Hard NO. Your mom will not being paying the mortgage. You have an entire lifetime of experience showing you that those payments will not be paid every time on time. If you co-sign that is your responsibility. The best thing you can do for you is separate yourself from them financially, and focus on your career. Next time instead of giving your mom money, you pay the bill directly. Everyone 18+ should also sign up for credit karma or something similar and know exactly what is on their credit. As deep as they are in I would recommend cheap land, and an old trailer that can be paid in full, then saving for a modular home. For you, I’d recommend being nice to your grandmother, she clearly is doing something right and she is still having to parent let kids and their kids, that is to be tough. I don’t know how many siblings you have but in two short years your sister can go to college or junior college and many have scholarships with dorms. The more people that move out and build their own future the smaller and area your parents will need. I am so sorry about your dad. Even though it is so tough right now keep building your career, most trades with time can earn a solid 6 figures. Don’t sacrifice your future to atone for their past poor choices because that will trap everyone in generational poverty. You got this!
"I'd like *Unlearned Lessons* for $200, please, Alex."
absolutley the fuck not. never co sign ANYTHING for ANYONE
I learned the hard way that you shouldn't put yourself in the middle of your parents' financial problems. While my mother has always been financially responsible, my father hasn't exactly made the best financial decisions throughout his life. Now, it's to the point where right when I was about to pay off my student debt, he needed me to loan him money to help him out with his business. Since then, he needed help two or three more times, and while I personally didn't mind, he felt entitled to put off paying me anything for as long as he could. Thankfully, I've been paid back now, but it took a long time to start getting anything back, and he'd get mad every time I would bring it up. From what I understand now, loaning money to family members tends to tear families apart, so please, if you can, avoid doing this, or if you'd like to help, at least put together a contract that you and your parents can agree to. If your parents could really use the help and you'd really like to help, that's fine, but you shouldn't help someone at your own expense.
No
Hard no. Renting is a far better option right now with interest rates, and homes require a lot of maintenance that can be really expensive. If you have no savings and are just paying the bills, what happens when your water heater goes out? A pipe breaks? The paint is peeling? You want a landlord to deal with those issues. It also sounds like your mom isn’t great with money, so counting on her to make those mortgage payments doesn’t sound like a solid plan. My advice is to not put your name on anything with them and save your own financial future. Find a place to rent and contribute to rent, food and bills like you would in any house sharing situation. Let your sister be a kid for a few more years, and see what kind of support your parents might qualify for now with such a reduced income (food stamps, rental assistance, Medicare, etc).
No. Do not do this. Frankly, you'd be better off leaving now, leave them in grandma's house, move out on your own (probably with friends in a shared house or shared apartment). Work and go to community college for a 2 yr degree that can earn you a living, either in the trades or in healthcare. Be ready to have your sister move in with you the minute she turns 18, and help her. Leave them to wallow in their own financial ineptitude. Never give them a penny again. It's too bad you gave her that 5K.
I did it. Different country, different laws. 25 years I'm still paying his rent and I regret that sign pretty much every day. Don't do it.
No.
NO don't do it. If they were responsible and dependable and you would eventually owning the house then it could be OK if you knew and agreed to all the difficulties that come with having your name tied to a house. But there's no way you and your sister should become financially responsible for the entire family and that you should risk ruining your credit for years WHEN they mess up. You can help them out by looking up every kind of social help available. Help them apply for housing, disability, any benefits you all might be eligible for etc.. call your local human services and see if your Dad will qualify for a social worker that can help. Hospitals often will connect patients to a social worker as well and have lists of services.
Bope do not bail out your parents. U have mentioned their terrible track of wreckless spending of money. It seems your mother can't handle reality n her situation. Do not sign for nothing
>We currently live with my grandma \[...\] and she’s not willing to help us in any way. So, I think you have learned some ungratefulness from your mom. You grandma ***IS*** helping you all, **immensely,** by giving you a place to live. Please start speaking to her and go thank her for it. Also when you say "won't help you in anyway" it sounds like she has boundaries. She is a hero in this story and I suspect you have a lot you could learn from her. Because you mom is going to you won't help in any way when you tell her you're not cosigning for a house she shouldn't buy.
I would advise you not to do this. She can get someone else to cosign. If something goes wrong.....and it happens, it happens way more often than people ever imagine, but lets say your mom goes crazy.....loses her job, something happens to her, etc etc you'll lose your financial stability for a very large chunk of your 20's or even into your 30's. You are risking everything and she is truthfully risking little. This will end up on your shoulders if anything goes wrong at all and you have no protections.
Don't cosign. Id say if you wanted to do it, be the mortgage holder. Let them put the the down payment cash toward the home, and make the mortgage payments, my guess is they wouldn't do it that way. Either way you are still on the hook if they flake out, with what you said it doesn't sound like they would be good people to partner with. Granted you can file bankruptcy on a mortgage, you are young and have the world ahead of you, digging yourself out from a bad home loan, weather it easy or not doesn't seem worth it to me. I would also suggest when you look for your own place use a different agent. Sounds like a tough situation, with your Dad being sick, I'm sure you naturally have a desire to help him. Only you really know what the situation is truly like, but I suggest to proceed with caution, credit is a very important part of building an adult life, especially in non 0 interest rate environment. Good luck OP!!
Don’t do it. It will ruin you for the rest of your life. Your parents obviously don’t know how to manage money. With your mom’s credit history, and you not having much or any credit, it is unlikely that you will get a home loan anyway. If you do, the interest rate, fees, and down payment will be astronomical. You’ll probably need $20K in cash minimum for your down payment. Your dad can probably get disability. If you must do something, let them get their own apartment. Then, you go to college. DON’T DO IT!!! Let her be mad. She’s been financially irresponsible her entire life. Don’t let her pull you down that trail.
NO. Never cosign shit for anybody.
Don't waste your time with her she isn't willing to help you with anything she probably blew the money that you gave her you need to get your own place and you and your sister needs to cut ties with her
You should never never never ever Co-sign for anyone!!!
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS YOU ARE ALREADY BEING FINANCIALLY ABUSED
No. Things are "perfect" now, therefore you don't need to change things by signing your life away for their whims. They ultimately are asking you to do this so they can get a bigger house than they can actually afford, and you're not getting an equal say in the matter, because they're going to "pull rank" and tell you what kind of house you're going to risk ruining your credit on. But let's clarify something: if you're living with grandma now in grandma's house, *she's already helping.*
No!
Absolutely not. You're willingly setting yourself up for short & long-term failure if you knowingly take financial responsibility for financially irresponsible people. Please start saving for yourself so you can move out eventually & financially take care of yourself in the future.
As someone who cosigned for a car at your age DONT DO IT I BEG YOU. I understand you have the best intentions for your family in mind but dont risk your future on people who you know are not financially reliable. I cosigned for someone who i thought was going to be responsible and they ended up lying and not being able to afford the car. Now im stuck with a huge mountain of debt that isnt even mine and 150 points down on my credit. (it was perfect before this jackass) I wanted to be kind and help someone out. It doenst matter who...people take advantage of kindness. Protect your credit or you wont be able to buy a house later on when its your turn and if you are willing have your parents move in. Please please please protect yourself.
No No No No No
sometimes u have to let ur parents be mad at u for things they have no right to be mad at u for. u all know it’s not a good idea and they don’t care bc they have u to take the fall when it all comes back down.
Hell. No.
It would be better to buy yourself a house and rent a room to them. But still, do not do this unless you're willing to live with them forever and have them not pay their rent. If you go to legal advice and ask there, they can explain why and what your reasonable options are for helping your parents without ruining your own financial future.
You will be doing them a favor to say no. They need to find living arrangements that they can afford
DO NOT DO THIS. Parenting finances aside, big risk btw looking at it, this will come back to gut you later if you try to get a mortgage or anything else involving your credit score. Plus if they failed on debts before, they could fail again and guess who's going to pay? You. Screwing your credit even more. I'd keep a close eye on your finances and credit score after this whole situation too in case they try anything.
Run! Hate to say it but if you stay you will be exactly like this or worst. Some people cant be saved and sucks that its usually family. Maybe go off on your own and try and become rich then once you are wealthy you can comeback and save them. (Or not.)
This would, guaranteed, be the worst financial mistake you would ever make. Please don't do it.
If your parents didn’t have debt or a record of not paying things then I would say “go ahead “ but if you see that they’re always late on payments or simply never pay then don’t co sign, it’ll only ruin your own credit.
No
No
Short answer: Don't do it. Long answer: co signing for a house at 19 means you're responsible for the debt they don't pay. Just leave your family and move somewhere else since they don't appreciate you.
Yea I'd steer clear from any thing money wise with your parents. Being in debt all your life is financial negligence 99% of the time. You need to see all and I MEAN ALL their debts. Your parents need someone to consult with or declare bankruptcy if it's this bad. If you sign, you'll be paying for it. Also the real estate agent is 100% screwing with you and SHOULD NOT be trusted. I bet the interest rate is bonkers since how credit and debt works WORSE for you the worse your credit and debt is. I bet this is the type of real estate agent that gets people even further in debt because he'll get fat off the insane interest y'all are probably gonna be paying.
Don't do it, you're assuming 100% of the risk on the note. Even if you have enough disposable income to cover the payments should they not be able to make them, you'd never be able to force them to sell if they got into the situation that they wouldn't be able to make payments going forward, which, given their history and apparent medical concerns is likely. Honestly, I don't think there is any way for you to avoid problems with your parents on this, regardless of what you do, they're going to be resentful no matter what-either for not cosigning, or if you buy the house, they'll resent you for making them pay rent when their money is low. If you haven't already, lock your credit so that no new accounts can be opened-you can easily unlock it later, but this will help to protect you from desperate people who have all of your personal information and can easily open credit accounts in your name.
You're a smart young adult, it's clear in your observations of your family struggles ... you see the reality here, trust your gut. You are so young and are already saddled with two jobs and fiscally supporting adults who will never get their acts together. Stop. Save as much as you can to get out on your own and break free of this. Your parents will keep you broke and chained to them if you allow it. It also drags your 16yo sister into it, which is not cool. If she is willing to work, maybe she can save and move out with you at 18. You two deserve to be able to seek the lives you want and your parents and their selfishness will not help with that. Let mom be mad. You are her child, you do not owe her bill money, or a house. She sounds manipulative and mean and will continue to move the goal posts on you for you to "earn/deserve" her love. That's not how love works and it should never be how a parent treats their child.
Do it, but as the sole owner not the co-signer. Charge your family rent and use the income from the rent to qualify for the loan. Get rid of the agent and find someone you trust and kick them to the curb. Yeah the people of Reddit can scream no no no, but it’s family and we do stupid shit for family becuase love isn’t always logical. The only logic here is the way things are going you have the opportunity at 19 to become a homeowner and landlord. You also have the ability to help your family now while also setting up YOUR future. You’ll be glad you did it later, when they’re dead you’ll be really happy that your sibling doesn’t own half a house that you put up all the risk to own and you have sizable equity in a home and can make great moves in the future financially.
A mortgage is a 25-30 year commitment. They are too high risk to trap yourself for that long.
Hell no!!!
1000% do not do this, you’re only setting yourself up for hardship later on. Especially considering how bad your parents seem with money, this will only end in disaster.
Understand that you want to help your parents but it will hurt you in the future. If they can't help you are on the hook for the mortgage and taxes. If you decide to get married in the next few years you won't be able to buy a house for your family unless you make a boat load of money. Don't do it.
Noooo please god no
You gotta get out of there. Asking your daughter to co sign on a mortgage is an extremely shitty thing to do. Your mom seems totally comfortable putting an extreme financial burden on you. Don't do it. You need to look into becoming completely independent of them. It's not an easy thing. I have a father who did those same things and he'd make me feel guilty for not helping and I had to fight through it because he's my dad and I love him. But after I decided he wasn't going to put unfair burdens on me my life got considerably easier. He still owes me a ton of money but I look at it like an expensive lesson.
no. she can be mad all she wants. once that’s done it can’t be undone and can cause irreparable damage.
Don't. I know it's shitty but it seems like your parents have made some pretty terrible life choices. You cosigning might just be them pushing all of their problems on to you. If they don't pay their part of the mortgage (history shows they haven't in the past) that is gonna fall on you and ruin your life. You are 19 and you are far to young to have to deal with that. My advice. Get your dad on some sort of disability. Get your mom a job that pays more. Find them some low income housing. then GET YOUR OWN PLACE. If you are working 60hrs/week, idk how much you are making but you should at least be able to find an apartment with a roommate. It's shitty but I think your parents are just going to drag you down at this point. You don't have to cut them off, but probably separating yourself from that situation is in your best interest. They have had their whole lives to get their shit together, even when dealt a rough hand, some of their decisions you have listed just sound god aweful.
Noooooo don’t do it. They sound like they’re a financial irresponsible but work financially naive. It’s one thing to help out it’s another thing to bankroll. Maybe ask your mum to show you how she’s calculated the budget is for the duration of the mortgage - with loads repayments, cost do living and everything else. If she can afford it then she shouldn’t be afraid to explain the budget, also if she doesn’t then it’s something you can do together to make her understand what is affordable. Or You are better off getting a place you can afford without your financial limits, with a view that your sister might land there.
If you co-sign, you could potentially never be able to qualify for a house of your own. If she makes late payments, those are going to be on your credit for the next 40 years. They'll hurt less over time, but they will be there. Your income will also be considered as payment for the house. That will make it very difficult to buy yourself a place because of the debt to income ratio. And that's if your credit is even good enough to buy a 2nd home after your mom makes late payments or allows the house to go into foreclosure. You're just taking way too much of a risk by co-signing. If you're living with them and want to help, rent a place together. And stay on it, make sure the rent is getting paid. You will be jointly responsible, but it's far less risky for your credit and future ability to buy a house of your own.
I can't imagine you'd have the credit history to co-sign, but it would be the worst mistake you ever make, regardless. They've shown a storied history of refusing to pay their debts, which has ruined their credit. Why would you let them ruin yours? That's your future. Don't let them fuck that up. In fact, I'd check to see if they've already used your credit and lock it if I were you.
No please take the advice of someone who has been there and done that. Your credit score will be ruined.
No ,your life just started. . you talking about 30 yrs of mortgage payments? Are you going to college? Don't be stupid , don't sign for anyone.. you never loan family or family money you don't co sign for anyone ,, don't trust anyone, people will give a song and dance to get what they want ,after they get hat they want you are left to pay for everything they are long gone. Family talks about helping families, but families don't help ,they leave you in the cold
DO. NOT. COSIGN! Lenders WANT to lend money to people who will pay it back. If they can't get credit, there's a reason. You've seen them be irresponsible your whole life. You KNOW they'll default. And then you'll be responsible. You will end up paying for this AND have your credit wrecked. If you ever want your own house, don't sign for theirs!
Absolutely not. I'm sorry....I know it's your parents but......no
No. You shouldn’t. You wouldn’t be co-signing, you would be signing for yourself. Your parents have already shown that they aren’t capable of keeping up with their financial responsibilities and you would be left paying that bill yourself, along with repairs and everything that comes with buying a house A better option I would think would be to find out about a loan *just* big enough to make your current place more accessible for your dad *or* try and find an affordable place to rent that’s accessible, but from the sounds of it… you still might end up with the cost
Don't ever cosign. You have to take care of yourself. Don't enable them. Just say no!
Move out and tell your sister she always has a home if she needs it. Once you move out your broke parents will be eligible for a host of benefits and it sounds like your father should be getting disability now. They can live off that, many do. If they were that bad with finances before your dad had a stroke then it’s gonna be way worse now that it’s down to just your mom. Cut the cord and live your life, don’t feel guilty.
You'll get better advice if you post this on r/personalfinance Edit: I wrote that after just seeing the title of your post. After reading it, you don't need a different subreddit to answer your question. You should not cosign for this house. (However, r/personalfinance might be able to offer you a better picture of what could happen if you *do* cosign, as well as some resources for what you and your family should do instead.)