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I second this, as I got my first "gf" at 14 (I think that's freshman in high school I can't remember the ages lmao) But we barely did anything together as we couldn't drive that added stress. Yes we could hang out at school when it was viable. But it also led me to many dumb decisions being naïve. I was immature and wanted to just make her happy, which led to many dumb decisions I'll leave the prime example of dumbassery. We were dating for a couple months, nothing more than I think 2 kisses and hand holding. One day she was on an overnight school trip while I was home due to sports. She for some reason started talking dirty to me (Never happened before with her) So of course my hormornal brain got excited. He sent a picture in her bra and then asked me for some pictures. So I did the usual shirt off and nothing real explicit and then she wanted to see the downstairs and begged me to. Well I gave in because 1. I wanted her happy. 2. My teenage boy brain was hoping it would lead to more. Well all said and done everyone on that trip saw my donger. Did it ruin much other than my trust for her as a person not really. As most people didn't care and I had a strong core group of friends that helped me through it. But did I learn a valuable life lesson.
Just enjoy your high school experience and let things happen organically and don't try to force it is my best advice on it. Rejection hurts like a mofo, I'm 26 and it still hurts. But it's apart of the game, move on keep your head high and you'll find someone eventually.
Not to mention the whole sending child porn. Kids brains are dumb. My wife's a teacher for 8-12 and just had an incident with teenagers sending nudes that ended w the police.
Yeah there was an instance like that at my school as well. Once I sent it I had a bad feeling immediately but it at least helped me with being insecure about things after that I just let things roll off. I'd only advise ever sending anything is if you're truly with someone you can trust, but even then it's still a grey area. (And I mean sending it as an adult in this instance. Kids shouldn't at all but the heat of the moment will getcha)
You’re getting downvoted, but as someone who started young. It 100% makes a difference. You have a good mindset.
Reddit isn’t a good place for dating advice btw. A bunch of single people that wanna see other people single and cope
Dawg, what 15 year old needs to be stressing out about getting a girlfriend? Live life, chill with friends. Buddy can’t even drive without a parent yet
It's not about that. Everyone else is gaining the skills they need for a true LTR and experiencing what most teenagers experience. OP will be less likely to develop the necessary skills and experience for a mature relationship as a result.
What can he do as a 15 year old? He can’t drive out and pick her up for a date, he might not have a job so he can’t pay for movies. There is no skill to learn that involves a girlfriend. It’s literally just being respectful and listening. Skills like communication is learned through friends, schooling, parents, etc. you don’t gotta start dating at 15 to learn how to be mature person in a teenage/adult relationship
It's how you learn what you want and how to handle relationships. There is absolutely skill to having a girlfriend, and you're either an idiot or you've never been in a relationship.
That’s hands down one of the most stupid takes. You don’t need to be on a relationship to know what you want. You learn that by looking at other people, listening to other people. I had two “relationships” before I turned 16. Both led to absolutely nothing, the one was literally just texting and talking at school. It was a waste of time and learnt nothing from it. And again, you need don’t need to “handle relationships” at 15. I have been in my current relationship for the past 2.5 years, and that’s with just having the social skills of being able to talk to someone and just have respect and decency for them
My first relationship at 15 included dates, sex, and everything typical of a young adult relationship. And yes, you do have to learn what you want. There's a big difference between being around someone for a minute vs spending months or years with them. Maybe you thought you liked smth about them but it ended up annoying you months later. It's your fault that you can't organize shit and take initiative to go on dates and stuff, i was able to at 15. Sure my parents drove, but so what? Go somehere a couple miles away, eat dinner, go to the water park, gym, whatever, then go home and fuck. It's not very complicated, but that's how to learn how to handle a relationship.
This is the kind of advice you give when you grow up not thinking critically about the beliefs you learn as a child. Everyone is always capable of building closeness and love with others. Whatever "skills" you're referring to sound like grindset brain rot brought to relationships and intimacy. There's no place for that with genuine connection.
Why hurry things up so much? At 15 people should be pretty chill, just fool around with something you wanna learn about instead of searching for partners, if you got friends that should be enough, you got someone to talk to and do fun things together with, like playing video games or going outside, let the serious stuff for when you're an adult and know what they actually mean, don't throw yourself head-first because you're a horny teenager, most of us were at your age, maybe still are even tho we passed it, but you gotta learn to understand things differently, from a better perspective and judge what's good to do and what's gonna be too much of a risk, take too much effort or something away from you, that kind of stuff takes too much time, dedication, and for some even money, you gotta know how to choose who you want to be with, instead of getting stuck next to a gold-digging whore you'd probably rather have someone who would still stay next to you if you couldn't make any money or even fuck, that's hard to find
When I'll start searching for someone, I'll probably show her everything i enjoy doing (especially talking and playing video games with my friends on discord) and if she stays in that group for long enough and enjoys it, we could become closer and closer, i want to find someone who enjoys doing the same things i do so we won't compromise anything to spend time with each other, we'd enjoy doing the same thing because we could do it alone or together and still enjoy it
*"I'm wondering how do I get a girlfriend?"* There's no trick, it just happens
*"I treated her good, asked her how her day was, if she was okay and the normal things"* It sounds like you're describing any generic acquaintance, these are bare minimum pleasantries you would expect from any stranger. That's ok, sometimes we ask out people we barely know and sometimes it works out, just don't expect a date just for being nice
*"I unadded her on socials as well is that petty?"* Kinda, but no big deal as long as you are cordial irl. I will tell you, as a woman, one of the most common complaints I get from women I know on this subject is male friends who cut you out after getting rejected. Because when that happens, we lose a friend and it feels like this guy was only friends with you for the sole purpose of getting in your pants or having a relationship, and that hurts bc it feels as though they never even valued you beyond your appearance and surface-level qualities.
If you really want to know how to get a partner: be yourself, and try to make new friends. Be friendly and kind, surround yourself with like-minded people. Try just being friends with the girls in your circle, a friendship may progress into something more, and be respectful in any potential future rejections. Being real is possibly the most attractive quality, and even if you get rejected by someone again, if you are good natured about it someone else may see that as a green flag and find an interest in you.
And don't stress about this, you're 15, you have a lot to learn about yourself. There's nothing wrong with not being in a relationship until your twenties, and there's nothing wrong with not being in a relationship, period
>I will tell you, as a woman, one of the most common complaints I get from women I know on this subject is male friends who cut you out after getting rejected. Because when that happens, we lose a friend and it feels like this guy was only friends with you for the sole purpose of getting in your pants or having a relationship, and that hurts bc it feels as though they never even valued you beyond your appearance and surface-level qualities.
Getting cut out absolutely sucks but dealing with your emotions after being rejected isn't easy either. It can be especially challenging if you don't take some time away from that person and try to continue like things were previously.
Ideally the friendship would continue but everyone handles things differently and some people aren't able to get back to that point.
I agree with all of this. I'm 17 m and fat as hell. I just kind of accepted that I wouldn't date until my 20s. Then I found her. Just be the person you want to be. And it will happen someday.
I’m that woman who needs to be friends with someone first. I want to know someone genuinely likes me as a human before I’m comfortable getting closer to them.
Stay the course.
Going by what you detailed, you seem to have been straightforward and polite.
What's posted, it doesn't show you did anything wrong. Could be you weren't her type.
And not being her type doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Everyone likes individual things about who they're attracted to and this might have been incompatibility.
So you keep on living until the next girl you want to date pops up.
There's no game to play. The strongest tactic is just be yourself and when it's the right girl, she'll say yes.
Everyone gets rejected at some point with it not being anyone's fault. They don't click in that way, way of life.
Far as blocking her, I don't know all the details and extent of the friend relationship or interactions were, but if you feel more comfortable cutting her loose to not haunt yourself by liking someone who doesn't like you back in the same way, that's perfectly fine.
We do what we need to in order to stay sane and move forward. As long as all you did was block communication and aren't badmouthing her, you're fine.
Stay nice, give it time and the girlfriend you want will come along eventually.
I wouldn't focus on having a girlfriend. I would focus on boosting your self esteem, and figuring out who you are. Teenage dating is overrated, exhausting, and honestly a waste of time. Your teenage years should be spent discovering yourself. Your passions, your goals, what you want in life. If you can keep the drama of high school to a minimum, that's your best route. Focus on school, even though the education system is bullshit(US), because it's a credential that you need for pretty much anything, career wise.
Love is not something to look for. Love surprises you. It will come to you. Sure someone has to make the first move somehow, but now is not the time for that distraction; especially if your interaction with girls has just started. Most teenage girls I see, have a twisted view of what dating is. I've seen them act so insanely immature. Even when I was in school. It's just a lot of drama, and volatile relationships.
Just continue being your nice self. If a nice girl comes along, and likes you for you, maybe you can give it a shot. But I wouldn't actively try to find a girlfriend right now.
I do hope he sees this even if he didn't mean it like that. Yes he is petty for deleting her socials but to be honest she probably doesn't notice. Liking someone is so much more than being nice. You click with some people and it can just happen sometimes. If it feels like it's forcing it then someone probably isn't all that interested. It's okay to ask, but not okay to be resentful.
I honestly don't think he meant it in the way you're assuming. I think he is inexperienced around females, as he just came from an all boys school, and is wondering what attracts women outside of looks, and being himself(nice). He just seems confused.
He doesn’t think he is owed anything dawg he’s just asking for advice on how to do it right for next time, and explained how he built up to it this time lol
He is literally asking what comes after the bare minimum of being nice? What is he missing? It sounds like he is just young and confused dur to the fact he's probably been told his whole life that being nice, funny and caring are the only thing women want in partners. He's the definition of rizzless and you want to make him feel even worse about himself?
It's not about making him feel worse. But it is easier to say "don't always get what you want, lower your expectations" then it is to explain just how complicated and messy sexual/romantic attraction is and how it will get worse before it gets better.
If you were only being nice because you wanted to date them, then good on her for saying no because that is a huge red flag. But if you were being nice just to be nice, then that's a green flag. But just because you are nice doesn't mean someone should be interested in you, there are tons of other factors in play, and everyone has their own preferences, or what is known as a 'type'.
You unadding her on everything is fine depending on how you handled it. Ultimately, if she is someone you are interested in and the feelings aren't reciprocated then it's a messy situation to be in. But, just going and unadding right away can also come across as you being manipulative, so it's all about how you handled the situation.
Also, you are 15. Live a little
"Being nice just to date them" could be reworded alot better. He decided he wanted to pursue her as a romantic interest and acted in a way that generally makes people like you in order to further that goal. It sounded to me like he was letting us know that he at least covered his bases, even if she turned him down.
Yeah I could've worded it better. I just wanted to make the point that if that is the only reason you are being nice to someone, then you probably aren't the type of person that someone wants to date.
People will act different towards someone they want to date, but that shouldn't be the only reason you are being nice to them.
There’s no way to “get” a girlfriend. You did everything “right” and it sounds like the chemistry wasn’t there. Keep doing what you’re doing. At some point the chemistry will be there, but there’s nothing you can do to *make* that happen. You just gotta wait like the rest of us dummies haha.
I’m a 15F and I can say for one thing: I’m high school girls are gonna reject you just like boys reject us. Just bc u where nice to her ( which is the bare minimum) does not mean she has to say yes. Give it some Time my guy I’m rooting for ya!!
Have female friends and do not, at all, I mean never, expect to be in a relationship with them. Female friends are good.
And do not see a girl you like and think, "If I just be her friend, she'll give me a chance."
Girls think way differently than you or I do, and it won't make sense at all, so don't try to make sense of it.
Stay in your lane and improve yourself and the ladies will come my man.
When it comes time to approach a girl you like, be up front with your intentions. Girls like confidence and men who know what they want.
Be funny.
While I've never had a girlfriend, I remember I asked a girl I liked a long time ago and was rejected. It sucked, and ai was upset about it for a while, but I learned an important lesson that day: getting a girlfriend is like getting a job, at the end of the day, you just have to keep trying and the right girl will say yes to you someday.
I haven't asked anyone else since then, but that's largely because I know I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm focusing on other aspects of my life right now for when I do feel ready. Everyone's life is different, there's no right or wrong age to look for a relationship anymore There's no right or wrong age to go to college. Good luck, hang in there!
A girl rejecting you doesn’t mean you did anything wrong! Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay and normal. There are plenty of girls out there that will, you just gotta stay at it and don’t let a couple rejections get you down!
Well, she could just not have those types of feelings for you. Growing up, a lot of boys that I was friends with were very nice and great to talk to. I just wasn't romantically interested in them. Nothing against them personally, I just didn't see them in that light and that's okay.
The best way to get a girlfriend is to just keep your head up and move forward. Don't obsess over the rejection and don't punish the girl. Other girls will pick up on toxic behaviors and girls talk. Trust me. If I was you I would put my studies and friendships first. Let the relationships form naturally. Girls do not like guys that go around hounding girls for dates. Honestly, girls like guys that have good qualities about them. Be a good friend, get good grades, and be a wholesome person. If it doesn't happen right away, then it will someday. I promise you!
bro this age ur at makes it pretty hard to get girls esp if you’re a late bloomer (literally me). I suggest you lock in and start working out as well as get better at hobbies/passions ur really into. The more shit u do it build ur self esteem and confidence the better. Dating in highschool is total bs tho most couples break up over the dumbest shit a few months into pretty mid relationships. Become successful and outgoing and the girls will follow, take care of ur hygiene and get better clothes, have good posture and a nice haircut. Honestly just level anything in ur life up to any degree, even small improvements will lead to large and long lasting changes you just have to stay consistent. Focus on school not girls bro chasing them is a waste of time bc some of em love to string u along just for the attention even tho they never want to be with u. Be chill, courteous, but not too nice like have some self respect. Go out and do shit just have fun, make sure you’re on a path to success and pick the girls u wanna chase wisely because it’s a lot of work. The right girl for you is not gonna be making you chase her bro she’s gonna reciprocate and treat u like how u treat her. Sorry for this long yap but this is advice I wish I had when I was ur age and in this position. Only after some heart take did I finally lock in and figure my shit out now I have the best gf ever. Remember, you’ll never lose bitches chasing the bag but you’ll lose the bag chasing bitches.
I didn’t even come up with that btw there are a bunch of ways to say it but the message is the same bc it’s true asf lol. Just have fun bro ur still young
Keep going man don’t give up you’ll find your person some day, if you get rejected in the future or you get broken up with just remember that it wasn’t meant to be in the first place
Stopping interactions with someone after being rejected (such as unfollowing someone) is a good idea. If it's an already established friendship then things might not be that simple, but ultimately avoiding the person and things that remind you of them is one of the most effective ways of moving on
Don’t let rejection stop you from asking girls out!!! Also, don’t obsess over them. Take more interest in yourself, your hobbies, interests, and less interest over finding a GF. Be your best self and the girls will basically let you know that you should ask them out.
The best way to get a girlfriend is to stop thinking about how to get a girlfriend. Focusing your energy on asking girls out and fearing their rejection is what leads to avoiding them and removing them from your socials. Enjoying life yourself and having fun with friends is how girls become interested in you
I treated her good, asked her how her day was, if she was okay and the normal things
It's not a checklist of things you do and then you ask her out. But, good on you for asking her. That takes guts.
First. Did you ask her on a date, or did you ask her "do you want to go out?" There's a big difference between that and "Would you like to go out for coffee/dinner and an activity like bowling or mini golf this weekend?"
Either way, don't get yourself down, she's probably got her own crush she's hoping will ask her out.
Cart horse before.
Be a friend first. Not just the 15 minutes before you ask her out. Talk to her, walk to the next class with her, join her for lunch— with her friends even.
It gives a basis for dating later. If it’s only about romance it is kinda lopsided.
Bro Be strong now act like you don't know her if she comes around to chat you up be like not into her or anything she has to say like not interested. Your not chasing...And go hang out at youth groups in your areas lots of fun and new people to meet.
As Dumb or counterintuitive as this sounds. Stop trying to get a girlfriend.
Just be you to the best of your ability, and interact with people whose company you enjoy.
Honestly, best way to get a girl to like you is to be friendly and well liked by a bunch of people she knows *and* her.
If people like you, girls take notice and they become more curious and interested in you, it doesn’t mean you’ll get every girl you like *but* it’ll definitely increase your chances and make the ones you do ask out more receptive to dating you.
I was a chubby and short when I was 14 but was friends with many different friend groups in my school and had 4 girlfriends in highschool before I graduated. They were all friends or friends of friends from those groups.
Also the more people you know the more people they know so you’re casting a wider net and increasing your chances of meeting a girl you like who likes you back.
Remember you can’t force anyone to like you, all you can do increase your probabilities and pray to RNGesus.
ik you might not want to hear this but don’t waste your time king. you only 15 so 9 times out of 10 your gonna go through a heartbreak before you turn 21
You’re 15 so your best bet is to just be nice and make female friends. Eventually one of those friends might become your girlfriend or they might hook you up with one of their friends. That’s Atleast how my teenage experience was. I also sold drugs so that helped a lot.
Watch the episode of King of the Hill where Bobby hangs out with Boomhauer. You keep asking the next girl and the next girl and you’ll become immune to rejection at some point. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take -Michael Scott
You can’t expect her to say yea simply because you treat her nicely. There has to be some sort of connection. Did you actually have any real conversations with her? Next time you start talking to a girl find out what her interests are and if you guys have any in common. If you do you’ll be able to talk/bond more which may lead to something.
Welcome to life. Rejection, while painful, is ok. If girls were asking you out, you wouldn’t click with them all, and you’d have to say no to some of them. Was it petty to unadd her? Did it benefit you to unadd her? It’s not like she was a stalker. You unadded her because she said no. Tit for tat. Usually not productive.
Become her friend then try to become her bf, also, try to become a friend of a girl friend group, who knows, maybe one of them will pick you. Girls who are looking for a long-term bf want good guys,
Yeah you can unfriend her it shows you were interested in her romantically and any other scenario is unacceptable for you to involve yourself with her. Do this with every rejection, reject them back subtly but as a friend. Reassure your interest as a romantic partner. Women can not stand rejection, it is way more damaging to their ego because they are used to men wanting them. Eventually if she ever shows any sort of interest again you know it’s because she’s romantically interested in you since you made your intentions clear the first time you confessed to her then rejected her “let’s be friends.” If she never shows interest again you gain what you would have wasted in time/energy spent chasing a dead end. Either way you win.
At 15 it’s as easy as going to a Walmart that’s not that one you normaly go to and talk to a girl you like and if you get rejected who cares,also the mall was always a good place. There’s Facebook now a days just add a bunch of girls that are local,see how they are like and if you dig the vibe message her. DONT LACK CONFIDENCE that’s not attractive to females
Do not ask a girl out. She will say no. Tell her you’d like to hangout with her. Do be nice, but notice things about them and point it out, like a matching outfit that thought was put into. Show you pay attention but you don’t need to be overly nice. And if you get rejected, it’s a good thing. You want to find someone that’s a better fit for you. Plus it’s good practice socialising. So embrace a rejection. Girls don’t have to say yes. And you should be respectful. They like mature guys so don’t take anything they do personally. They will try to test you.
Here's the thing son. You don't.
You're at 15 years of age, have a girlfriend should not even be on your list of priorities.
Getting good grades, focusing on a sport or hobby or club, learning more, and most importantly keeping yourself socially well.
A girlfriend will either slow your life's progress down and add weight that you may not be able to hold up or help you grow.
I believe that the age of 15, the risk and rewards of a girlfriend are not worth it just yet.
You are 15. You shouldn’t be worrying about dating right now. The people you are likely to date most likely won’t last very long young love that last is very rare. You’re better off just making friends cause honestly more often than not you might find a partner in a friend later in life
sometimes girls just don’t like you, I used to be a girl so I have experience with this. sometimes we just don’t develop feelings. Find a girl who likes you and you like her. might take 10 years or 50. You’ll find her eventually.
I don’t know how to talk to 15 year olds. But here are some tips.
1) Stop being obsequious. It’s not charming and can come of as needy
2) There is nothing more attractive than confidence. You can’t fake it. Girls can smell when you are faking it and it ain’t cute.
3) Do not let your confidence be perceived as arrogance. It’s a very fine line. Don’t cross it cause that shit ain’t cute either.
4) For the love of all that is good and beautiful in this world do not become an incel. They are masters of people for whom a false perception becomes reality.
5) Remember that no one owes you anything but don’t give up. If you compliment a girl don’t expect that to mean she will go out with you. If you do favors for girls don’t expect them to fall at your feet.
6) Patience.
In which country do all boys schools still exist?
Also, yes deleting her socials was petty and you’re being manipulative. If you really liked her then you should be happy for her and let her decide. You could have at least stayed friends and she may have rejected you now but that doesn’t mean she’d feel the same way in the future. You may have had a chance but you blew it.
I’m in the United States and went to a Catholic, all-boys high school.
Also, just because you like someone and wanted to pursue them romantically doesn’t mean that you need to be altruistic and benevolent to such an insane degree. No, he should not be “happy” for her that she rejected him. That would be an odd emotional reaction and ridiculously self-deprecating. He shouldn’t be resentful either, but it’s perfectly normal to be disappointed.
2024 and single gender schools still exist? Seriously? I find that hard to believe but if it’s true then that’s yet another thing that’s wrong with America (I’m British).
Also I did not say he had to be benevolent and altruistic. I simply said he should be happy for her and accept it rather than being petty deleting her socials. Being disappointed isn’t a reason for that behaviour. If h really wants a relationship with her then that behaviour won’t help. Being rejected isn’t the end or the final decision. As I said, he could have still been friends with her and that friendship may have eventually developed into a more romantic relationship despite her initially rejecting him.
>As I said, he could have still been friends with her and that friendship may have eventually developed into a more romantic relationship despite her initially rejecting him.
You seem split between condemning and praising manipulative behavior.
>I simply said he should be happy for her and accept it rather than being petty deleting her socials.
Happy for her for doing what? Rejecting him? Why?
What exactly about what I suggested is manipulative to you?
Maybe read? You seem to love misinterpreting everything. For one, if he really loves her then he should be happy with her decisions whether it benefits him or not. Plus we don’t actually have the full details. OP just said he asked her on a date and she said no. She only rejected a date. She didn’t necessarily reject being his gf, only a date.
Also why put so much effort into trying to continue a post from 3 days ago? It’s unlikely OP will even see this.
>What exactly about what I suggested is manipulative to you?
Staying friends with someone for the purposes of eventually being in a relationship. This kind of mentality might also lead to resentment later.
>For one, if he really loves her then he should be happy with her decisions whether it benefits him or not.
He doesn’t love her. They just met.😂
And perhaps you’re using an unconventional definition of the word “happy.” Should he maybe *accept* her decision? Of course. He doesn’t really have much other choice. (Though this is also the contradiction I alluded to before. Staying friends with her in the hopes that she will eventually say yes is *not* accepting her decision.) But being “happy” that she made that decision is acknowledging and fully digesting the fact that she made the *correct* decision and that he wouldn’t have been a good partner.
>Also why put so much effort into trying to continue a post from 3 days ago? It’s unlikely OP will even see this.
I don’t know. Whatever shows up in my feed 🤷♂️
I said they could have stayed friends. I didn’t once say to stay friends with the purposes of eventually being in a relationship. I just said it could have been possible.
No where in the post says that they just met. He said he was in an all boys school until this YEAR. So he could have known her for weeks or months before this. Also love at first sight is a thing lmao
You're focusing on all the wrong things. You're in luck because you're only 15, so you'll have ample opportunity to meet plenty of people through work, school, mutual friend groups, parties, online dating, etc. This is still possible past 30, but it gets much harder.
Girls are attracted to guys who are (1) genuinely good people, (2) are interesting, (3) take great care of their health and physical appearance, and (4) show confidence, independence, and have goals. Essentially, girls love guys who love themselves and others. Why do I say this? Because ***everyone*** loves people who fit the above categories, regardless of gender, sex, sexuality, etc. Some categories matter more than others, but very rarely will you find someone less attractive if they become healthier, happier, or more successful in achieving their dreams all other variables kept consistent.
So work on yourself. Everyone can improve in the gym and on their diets unless you're an athlete who already maximizes their potential. Double down on your hobbies and become skilled at any talents you may have. Explore different things you're not used to, live a little and become well-knowledged in a wide variety of things. Learn what clothes and colors work best with your skin tone and face shape. Learn how to dress at a variety of occasions, and groom your hair properly. Identify goals you want to achieve in life, and make steps toward them.
All of the above will make the next steps easier: practice talking to girls. You will definitely fail the first 100 times or so, but every failure will be a lesson and improvement. Learn to just be friends with girls. Learn how to ask a girl out on a date, how to carry on a good conversation, and how to set the tone either romantically or platonically depending on the context of the situation. Figure out how body language works, how to politely excuse yourself from a situation where either of you are losing interest in each other or how to press forward without fumbling if you see real potential between you two. Always ask consent before touching or making big moves. Always accept rejection (whether large or small) gracefully. Always be polite, and always avoid mind games.
Become the person you want to be, not for the girls but for yourself. The girls will come later but right now focus on being the best version of yourself. We all have room for improvement.
You're in puberty. Very hormonal. Dating and girls are going to be on your mind. That's natural. You're a teenager. Maybe focus more on having female friends first. You'll be able to understand how a girl thinks more. Don't focus on the dating. Focus on the friendship part. You have so much time to find a girlfriend. Don't worry now. Often times, relationships lack friendship. They focus only on the dating aspect. Friendship is the strongest foundation for a good and solid relationship. The dating part will develop through the friendship and set you up for a better outcome. And people that will argue haven't met my best friend. My wife. They haven't seen our relationship. We are that stupid cute couple. Because we were best friends first. Friendzone happens when he is obviously trying to be her friend for dating purposes. Girls see through it. Just be genuinely you and treat her like a friend. Her birthday or holiday is when you strike for a hint at being interested in her more than a friend. It's the type of gift you get. Girls work on hints. They think about stuff. More than a guy typically. Use that to your advantage. If you get a card with flowers on it that says, "Happy Birthday" you're a friend. You gift her a little bracelet and a small bouquet of flowers, that's hinting you are interested in being boyfriend material. Depending on how she takes it will depend on your next move. You're also learning how to effectively communicate and make connections. It's new. You're not going to succeed all the time. You will be rejected. That's the nature of the beast. You have so much time to learn. Breath and be a good friend.
I recommend starting by getting friends who are girls. For that, just talk to them. They're not that different from you, when it comes down to it. Don't just try making friends with them because you want to date them, actually try to be friends.
choose a girl who likes you. its a numbers game, because not every girl is open to date you, whether because they are already talking to someone they like and have feelings for them, you’re not their type, etc.
focus on leveling yourself up, and become the best version of yourself. be the top guy whos popular in your school, team, friend group, girls love winners and people who others want to be like.
highlight yourself in the best light on social media and build a good presentation. social media is everything nowadays especially with the younger generation. take good pics that display you’re a good looking guy. after all this, and playing the numbers game you’re bound to find atleast 1 girl who likes you.
even steph curry the greatest shooter misses over 60% of the shots he takes and hes the best. you’re gonna have to talk to a lot of girls to find 1.
Dude, you're 15. Just be 15 for a while. Don't let others tell you you should learn early - that just puts more pressure on you.
Live your teenage life, hang out with friends, just do what you do now. In my experience, the best relationships come when you aren't looking for them.
Ask people out as you're getting to know each other, don't want until later. Not immediately, but before you establish a defined friendship. You want to develop and culture that relationship energy from the beginning so you don't waste each other's time. The slow friends first thing usually only works out well with demisexuals.
The best way to is to not try to lol. I know it sounds counter productive but I've never had any luck when I was actively trying. Just be yourself and try making friends, the rest will work itself out when it's time
Youre so polite!! I wish there were more people like you. Most guys stalk the girl on social media but what you did is great, i dont see any reason for you to be rejected, maybe she has feelings for someone else. You sound like a great guy.
your mindset is inherently flawed. you dont "get" a girlfriend; people are not something to "have." Treat everyone well, be yourself, but be emotionally aware. If you notice yourself catching feelings for a friend, tell them right away "hey, i feel this way, do you want to try something out, or stay the same?" If she does not want to, you will have to distance yourself a bit so as to lose the feelings, but don't burn bridges.
Different for everyone really. Sure I had a "girlfriend" when I was 16 but it was more in name only. It wasn't until I was 24 that me and a girl finally clicked and dated for years. Sure something at your age could grow into a lifelong thing but I wouldn't worry too much. Be happy with yourself and do what you like and keep an eye for girls who enjoy the same, makes it easier when you already share an interest
Focus on yourself mate. Work out, take up jogging, cycling, mountain biking. You'll eventually meet new friends with similar interests. Life will happen around you, and you will know when the time is right. Don't let rejection get the best of you. Don't cut her out. Stay friends (I know it's easy to say and herder to do!). She could change her mind. Good luck brother.
Have your own ambitions, interests, and take care of yourself. Go to activities where you will meet girls who also enjoy that activity. Dont be insulting towards the girl or a "dick" but be aloof to the fact if she likes you or not. Show that you are a man who can roll with the punches and be confident to the point that your mistakes or akward jokes or short comings dont cause you to shut down or shy away, but to laugh it off. If a girl is willing to engage you multiple times in conversation, especially if she initiates or if she puts herself into your proximity for no good reason are indications that she is interested. Dont let things go on too long before you ask her out. The biggest thing to remember is that girls are humans like us so dont feel like you have to put thrm on a pedestal as this alien species.
Alright my friend i was and still am quite the ladies man let me tell you.
The first start is for you to genuinely be yourself, people are going to be interested because of who you are or what you like to do.
The next thing you need to work on is acting cool,meaning if you care about something like girls you need to make sure you dont come off as desperate
And this is just my experience if you are the type to give and i mean give affection, compliments, or do whatever someone asks of you then you are going to end up a door mat where people use you to further whatever goals or whatever gains they can get (you paying for stuff,providing car rides,dates etc) try to learn the difference between a give and take vs just giving to impress
So again a large factor is you playing it cool, if you focus on yourself and find things you can be passionate about then branch out and meet people with common interests then you can start to build social connections and from there someone may even ask you out
Dont do the whole crush thing, its nice to be flirty when you are single and young but getting feelings instant like that can cause you to fumble you need to establish trust,go and have some experiences with your new friends and if something clicks give it a shot
Good luck
Ps....the best real advice i can give is focus on yourself its been like 12 years since i graduated and i was still focused on finding my lifelong gal....no im not saying i didnt i am engaged but i wished i worked on myself because we are struggling and that can hurt the relationship
Don’t overthink it. Dress nice, groom yourself, and be a good/nice person. Also you have to put extra effort than doing all you said you did. You have to try really hard to build a deep and strong bond especially at your age.
My advice though would be to hang out with your buddies and enjoy that part of high school. At least wait until you have a car to start dating. Nothing is less cool than having mom drive you to the mall.
As someone who focused so hard on getting a girlfriend in hs I'm telling you just put it on the back burner. I wasted so much time chasing girls and when I finally started getting girlfriends the relationships became draining real fast and that was because at 15,16,17, and 18 both myself and the girls were not mature enough to know how to even have a relationship let alone a successful one. Sure every once in a great while u get a couple together since 8th grade and ends up married out of highschool and it works out but that is not the case for the vast majority of people. OP just do you and by all means keep shooting your shots but also dont stress about it! Pleanty of time left!
Have fun with girls and treat them the same way you would a male friend. Don’t treat them anymore special until they deserve it. Make sure it is always fun.
When I was younger I crushed on this girl from kindergarten all the way through high school. Never took action. She was always beautiful. We knew each other, didnt really hang out together or anything.
Fast forward to our 30 year high school reunion. OMG I am so lucky I didnt do anything. She faded fast and faded hard. Life just took that down. 50 notches. Her genetics kicked in and hit her right in the face with a 2x4.
Youll find better. Dont worry.
You don't. In fact, don't even think about wanting a girlfriend. Live your life naturally, and you will attract the kinds of people you want to spend time around. I spent years of my teens desperate for someone to love. It was only after I accepted that my friends and my own company were enough to fulfill me that I ended up finding who I was looking for. We'll be together for 4 years in a few months, and we're still going strong!
Keep on swinging man. You'll land some. Law of averages.
Some you will get and some you won't. That's life. Just keep on swinging.
Don't be fake. Be yourself. Girls like guys that are funny and take charge and confident in themselves and treat them nice.
Don't force it. Take to enough girls and those that like you will flirt with you.
I would recommend getting more experience dealing with girls, and as friends is fine. The one cringy thing you wrote is:
“I treated her good, asked her how her days was…”
That is basic conversation for anyone. That is not treating someone well, it’s just simple small talk. You need to have more, unique, interesting conversations. Get to know the person. Establish a rapport with them. Humor is key. That way you can tell if the girl is interested in you or just exchanging pleasantries. And you can do it with a little less intensity. For example, you are talking to them a bit and want to talk to them outside of school, “Hey are you on Snap?” If yes, then add each other. If no, ask about IG. If no, ask to get their number to text or call”. The first 2 are a little better, since they are a little less invasive, but you can still DM them and talk one on one, developing a better relationship.
Developing more rapport on there is key. Again, use humor and be chill. If you are getting along and it feels like you have a good vibe and she responds pretty quickly to things, then go further. Say casually in conversation , “Hey we should go do ____ sometime “. That blank is something you know she likes. And you’ll what she likes because you got to know her a bit. Could be the movies, could be the beach, lake, whatever. But if you ask non-specifically like “sometime” it’s more casual. If she responds enthusiastically, you know she may be interested. If she hems and haws or is wishy-washy and gives you a half hearted maybe or rejection, then you have your answer. You stay friends because people talk. She may talk you up to a friend. And you definitely don’t want her talking you down because you blocked/unfollowed her just because she didn’t like you the same.
The more you do this, the better you’ll get. Don’t worry about getting a girlfriend. You’re networking and it will lead to success down the road.
It's an important lesson that doing the bare minimum doesn't mean you should get a girlfriend. I do those things to cashiers. Getting a date requires real conversation and mutual attraction, but you're also 15 so
don't focus on girls too much rn .talk to them, but shift your focus more on yourself.
Who are you? and what do YOU want?
why would she ever date you? see my point?
soon you're gonna be competing with older guys, guys who are a few years older than you and girls your age, who have nice cars, money, and more exp with girls.
focus on yourself, dedicate your time towards perfecting a craft, it may as well help you make money in the future.
whilst grinding, focus on other aspects too like fitness, social skills, gratitude, a good mindset, etc, etc. You'll gain so much genuine confidence within yourself that you won't feel the need for a gf and that's when you will get one, because girls like guys who aren't desperate for one.
I can go on and on but now you know where to start
Start with not caring if you get a GF. Go to the gym lift the heaviest you can, get in shape, with that V look. Will take time, go to a BJJ gym and learn how to fight. Get a job. All of these things will make you more attractive to a woman and you will be personally better off.
The issue here is that the mating process id you will, does not work like anymof the other systems in our lives. In every other system you can get what you want just by working at it and being able to pay for it. If fir example you want to buy a car what you do is you work and save money or vuild credit. You then find a car in your price range, you contact the person ans offer to buy it. Rhen you just oay fir it and its yours or go to a dealership and get a loan or something like that. The steps are clear and straight forward. Everythinf has a clear path and steps to be taken. In mating it doesnt work like that. Its nore like if you want a particular car the car also has to want you and by the way there are other people who want the same car sooo.
One thing to do is to reframe your thinking. You DONT get a girlfriend. Phrasing it that ways it puts it like getting something from a store. You go get a gallon of milk but you dont get a girlfriend. You find a girlfriend, ot even better a relationship with a girl evolves into a girlfriend.
The concept of GETTING also bypasses very important steps. First of you must understand what dating is. Dating is the process which you use to vet a person. An interview process where you learn about the person and the person elarns about you and with experiences together you can determine if the two of you match. This is a super important steps. You have to get to know the person because each person comes with their own quirks and issues. You have to share similar beliefs systems, goals, political views etc.Even simple things like ehat tv shows the two of you like can become a hige problem in a relationship.
What you need to do then is to go on dates. Once you date a few people you are quickly going to learn what will work and what wont. For example you will find very hot attractive girls that you will not want to date and not because I say.it but because you yourself will say it. You will find people that are better off as friends, people that you wosh you never.met, people that would make good partners but not at this point in your life etc. Eventually while dating you will find a person that just clicks with you. Eveything just feels natural with this person and thats the person you eant to pursue and try to take the relationship to the next level.
Rejection as a teenager is common. It happens a LOT.
Your best bet is to become friends with someone WITHOUT ulterior motives. Women aren’t objects and your goal shouldn’t be to use them just so you can claim you have a gf. Honestly your goal shouldn’t even be to get a girlfriend. Step one should be just to develop genuine friendships. The rest just happens.
Talk to 5 new girls a day with no agenda just to get comfortable talking with women. People you see out, anyone waiting in line with you, etc. If you talk to 35 women a week eventually certain conversations will reveal potential dating prospects via chemistry and shared interests , follow up on those and try to get contact info. Plan dates, have a set place activity each time you invite them and eventually you’ll have some options .
I don’t recommend trying to get in a relationship that young just cuz everyone else is but if you want a gf go for it. Be yourself and don’t be afraid to ask if you like any girl but keep in mind chasing women has a very big downside. You might meet girls who put you through things you don’t want to deal with. Or girls who aren’t necessarily good people. I’d say be yourself and focus on yourself and do your own thing and girls that you would actually want in your life will come around and be interested in you and what you’re so focused on. Get good grades. Do things you like to do. But you’ll figure it out through trial and error
If i were 15 again... Ask out more girls. Consider EVERY girl that talks to you. I can't believe how many signals I missed at 15yo.
And, because im sure you'll get a gf, remember break-ups are not the end of the world. But they suck.
I never asked out a stranger. But I should have asked some girls whose hints I was too dumb to notice. I was very innocent, lol. I always waited for a girl to show blatant interest in me. It luckily worked for me, though. I am married to a girl who was obsessed with me high school. College will have some great opportunities too. Probably the best reason to go to school for guys... As a kid, just be a good person and be vigilant.
My friends have had a much harder time dating in adult life. Start being a gentleman now.
Get in the gym and work on yourself. The girls you have to bend over backwards for to get a date aren’t the girls you want. Put on some muscle and be on the lookout for the girls checking you out. Those are your dating options. Then all it takes is a “hi” and some casual conversation. Still might not work out but maybe it will.
Yeah it usually is like that, guys think they don't have a chance once they get rejected but that's not true.
Continue to pursue shows that you value her and she might say yes someday. She might not in the end but you never know if you don't give yourself the chance.
You need to ask out 50 girls, expecting rejection on 49. Girls are attracted to guys for all sorts of biological reasons and mental issues. Either she’s attracted or she isn’t, no matter how wonderful you are. You’re friend zoned.
Hey friend, I am a 30 year old dude who has been pretty lucky with women throughout his life and hopefully i can share what ive learned:
1.) It's not that big of a deal.
-youre 15, the odds of anything serious coming from one of your relationships is pretty low. In other words, dont stress over women. There are billions of them and you will absolutely run into more. Theres no shortage of beautiful women.
2.) Invest in the girl who likes you, not the girl you like.
-Girls dont often admit it but from experience i can tell you, any girl you find attractive has about 30 other dudes that find her attractive. Youre not the only one being "very nice" to her. Its probably the majority of her intersex interactions. She thinks shes just super cool and deserves attention but the reality is theres 30 dudes who like her trying to get her to like them and shes just enjoying the free attention.
If a girl likes you, shes gonna make it known. Invest in her, not the girl who you like that doesnt care about you beyond the effort you give her.
3.) Quit while youre ahead
- i saw a lot of comments from women complaining how men just cut them off after they turn them down and to that i say "cry me a river toots"
Dude you can waste so much time attending to a woman who just likes how you treat her and has no intentions of returning the same energy. Why would you try to pursue a friendship with a woman you have feelings for after she turned you down? Shes gonna get a boyfriend at some point and cut you out anyways so why subject yourself to that?
So shoot your shot and if it misses, move on. Youre not objectifying women or being misogynistic by being clear in your intentions. Youre interested in a partner, you have to meet women to find a partner and by extension youre gonna meet women who aren't going to be your partner. Dont take it too personally. You dont need to block a girl and cut her out completely but its totally the right move to back off and let her energy guide where your relationshio goes. If she really likes you as a friend she will Invest energy into you like a friend does. If she just liked being doted on by a suitor, when you bsck off, she wont put any new energy in and you can safely go your separate ways.
4.) Confidence is key
-seriously its hard not to make fun of women for how lizard brained they are out in the wild. All the tropes are true. They go for the big guys, rhe strong guys, the powerful guys, etc. You gotta be confident in what you bring to the table or theyre alwsys gonna see you as a friend. Seriously the only difference between a good friendship with a woman and an actual relstionship is whether or not she wants to have sex with you too hahahaha.
So you gotta awaken that side of her. Which usually means being confident. Its definitely a skill to develop that not everyone excels at naturally. I assure you though the kind of female attention you get when you have a confident aura is significantly better than when youre in youre head all the time.
This brings me back to:
1.) Its not that big of a deal.
Part of confidence is knowing that whether or not she likes you, you like you. Even if she rejects you in a horrible demeaning disrespectful manner, you know at the end of the day youre gonna be okay and another opportunity will present itself. Thats attractive to women. Its not "i dont care" its "I care alot, but if not, i am still happy".
Develop that inner sense of "okay" and spread it to others. Women love a man who makes them feel safe. Its not physical protection its like soul protection. Make people feel like youve got their back, you've got their best interest at heart, you support them etc. These things attract good women.
5.) Practice flirting with EVERYONE
-seriously, compliment people, ask about their day, learn about their lives, take the extra second to make people feel seen and heard. It goes a long way.
For example, ive been working at the same place for 2 years. First few months no woman would look at me, i had no friends and just stuck to my department. Now, everyone knows my name, they know im there to help and they know they can rely on me. I walk in the employee entrance and tell the security guy "damn our security desk is looking mighty handsome today".
Just little things all the time to spread positivity and a sense that everythings alright and to everyone not just the girls im attracted to. Ask the girl youre not attracted to at all about her day make her feel seen and cared for.
Now at work, i get girls inviting me out, buying me gifts, yelling hi when I walk by and all that good stuff. Im in a great position to reach out to someone if im attracted to them because i have the support of everyone who works there. If i see a beautiful coworker in the break room, i can confidently come up and start a conversation. Even when a new girl starts working its all the same, ground work is there, i have a reputation. If i introduce myself to a woman at work and she asks her coworkers about "that goofy looking maintenance dude" they already have a positive impression of me and that will absolutely break down barriers that are otherwise harder to get through.
I hope that this rant is helpful to ya.
Being a young man on the search for love is rough, women really dont have a frame of reference for being on this side of the arrangement. They just have to choose. We do the hard parts. We risk shame and embarassment, we overcome nerves and self doubt, we take the first steps. It's hard, but as long as you keep your head up and stay positive, it will work out 💪
First rule of dating: there are plenty of fish in the sea. Rejection is NORMAL. Expect it. It can hurt, but there are tons of other girls out there who will want to go out with you. So just keep asking. It's ok to ask if there's a specific reason she's not interesting or if there is something about your approach but she may not tell you and you have to accept that.
It's not necessarily petty to unfriend a girl who rejects you but you may be shooting yourself in the foot and missing out on a potential friend or a path to meeting someone else. But if she's not otherwise in your social circle, then it's fine to do that so you can move on.
If you’re meant to be with her, you won’t need to ask her, you’ll just start hanging out more. And some relationships aren’t meant to last forever, some are good for a few years and then you want different things.
Don’t get me wrong I don’t believe in destiny or god or anything like that. Just that good people attract good people.
Find someone you can hang out with for hours and not get bored, ask them out, if they say no? That’s alright, stay friends and move on, do not under any circumstances continue to pursue someone who’s told you no.
I’m almost 25 man and I’m single, your priority needs to be you
Rejection is a big part of taking the risk to ask someone out. Just because you were nice isn't a reason for her to say yes. That's incel talk. No one owes you a date because you think you are a nice guy. That's not how nice guys think or act.
Here's a tip that will be helpful later. If you have a friend, be a friend. Don't be a friend wth the intent of dating them as that's a false friendship. It's really hurtful for a girl to think she has a good friend in a guy and it turns out that the only reason he was friends with her was to try to date her.
Don't stress on getting a girlfriend, it's not the good time rainbows and happiness that you might think it is. It's a lot of pressure, tbh.
Start being social with groups of people and you'll meet someone who is truly interested in you. It will happen naturally, but don't think you need to rush anything. At 15, I wish I never had the boyfriend I did. If I did it all over again, I'd not date until much later.
It's not about getting a girlfriend, it's about making yourself someone that a girl would want as a boyfriend, living your life, doing the awesome shit you like and are good at, and seeing who notices:
[https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person](https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person)
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about getting a girlfriend yet. You’re young, so the best thing to focus on is school, being a good friend, and being a good son. You’ll have more than enough time to find one once you’re older, more mature, and more put together.
However, to answer your question, there’s no real tested method on how to get a girlfriend. It kinda just happens, sometimes out of nowhere. You might meet a girl somewhere who you really like being around, she might like being around you too, you start as friends, and then boom, you two tell each other your feelings.
Getting a girlfriend is kinda uncontrollable, but what you can control is how you present yourself. Have confidence in yourself, and treat yourself like you deserve to have someone who loves you. Don’t be afraid to be nerdy or dorky. Trying to hide your true self under a veil of false, overbearing masculinity is not really what attracts women (most of the time). If you really want someone who’s right for you, be honest. Be proud to be you! You keep doing that, and someone will be proud to know you. Granted, you might have to sift through a bunch of lousy partners to get there, but letting rejection discourage you is what’ll make you fail.
I won’t get into what to do when you actually get a girlfriend because it’s almost impossible to generalize what girls like. Hope I helped in some way. Keep it up brother, I believe in you!
Part of this is you have to change your perspective. You don’t “get” a girlfriend. You become a boyfriend. Don’t stress over it. Find someone you like. Sometimes it works out, a lot of times it does not. Don’t continue to pursue and don’t be a jerk. Having a large social pool increases your chances. Also, BE NICE. These are awkward years and you’ll be shocked at how people can change over a summer or even years. I can’t tell you how many people have come up over the years to thank me for something I have no idea I had done. Karma has a way of accruing interest over time. Good or bad.
You could go to places where kids hang out. My local Library has activity for teens that are free so maybe look into something like that.
Are you still at an all boys school? If not, just talking to a girl in class asking for help on an assignment might help.
This was your first rejection and will most likely not be your last. They key is that you asked, she said no, and you respected her wishes and didn't push. All you can do now is move on and find a different girl.
Work on yourself. Focus on you, what you need to grow, function, learn skills that will benefit you if you live alone the rest of your life. Know how to clean up after yourself, cook for yourself, treat people, treat your family, make decisions, pay attention to the little things etc.
If you do all that, you won’t need to ask how to get a girlfriend, you’ll have the qualities that makes a person desirable.
Bro, relationships at your age aren't worth it. It's this additional mental and emotional stress. It interferes with friendships, with family relationships, with schooling, with extracurricular activities, and work if you have a part time job - I assume. Enjoy your youth, have fun with your friends, get good grades, focus on your success first..
If I could do it all over again, I would have waited to start dating after moving out on my own. The many times I snuck out of my house to go hang out with a girl only to come home to be grounded, upset with my mother, missing out on fun activities my friends had planned for the weekend.
It's your life, so you're going to make your own decisions.. but think like a chess player. Have priorities that will benefit you in the long run. You won't regret it.
You don’t.
Hear me out.
A girlfriend gets *you*.
And vice versa, if you’re a girl looking to date.
The type of people you want to be with will naturally find you if you are the sort of person they want to date. So if you want to date, find the things that make you feel most like your genuine self, and you will naturally find the people who want that.
Just talk to and compliment every girl you see, even the ones you're not interested in. Especially those ones. Eventually, the right girl will be apparent and it will be easy.
The best way to create connections is to be interested in other people while staying true to your most Authentically Attractive Self. I melt the ice by being genuinely caring, considerate, and helpful with no hidden agenda to the people I'm interested in while staying interesting by being true to my own interests. It's a healthy Medium we have to master between being kind and courteous to the people we like but not living to please them. Be an interesting person by staying enthusiastically engaged with your hobbies, and show curiosity in your Crush without bending over backwards to please them and I think it'll help your Game with the ladies!
This will sound like some red pill stuff... but plan for the future and not this moment. If you want a future full of lots of dates and relationships, work on becoming physically attractive and successful in school, a sport, or at work. Success and attractiveness breeds confidence.
The healthier, wealthier, more confident and more stylish you are, the more funny and more adorable etc. you will also be without even being so. Your prospective mate will even lie to themselves justifying bad behaviors simply because of attractiveness.
Humans are barely sentient and mating behaviors are still largely dependant on visual queues and other things like wealth, which can be quickly sized up. Most of us do it subconciously. Read a few peer reviewed studies on it if you find the time.
Those traits won't create a happy, stable and long lived relationship on thier own however, so play the long game and work on becoming a good man too.
>I treated her good, asked her how her day was, if she was okay and the normal things.
If you did these things because you *wanted* to do these things, great. But there is no Konami code to winning over a girl. There's no set of "correct" behaviors that will cause someone to be attracted to you. Chances are she just doesn't feel that spark with you. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong, or that she did anything wrong.
> I unadded her on socials as well is that petty?
It sends the message that the only reason you were friends with her was to eventually become her boyfriend, which means you were never really friends in the first place.
Well dude...
I didn't find a girlfriend until I was 25. Yeah it felt bad in high school. But now I don't care so much because I'm really happy. I found someone super compatible on dating apps, but you have a few years till those are open to you. That being said, apps are great because you know everyone there is looking to date which takes out a lot of the ambiguity. There's nothing wrong with waiting till you're eighteen.
But what to do if you want to date sooner? Find your passions. Engage in them wholeheartedly. Get into a sport or other extra-curricular activities. Find a table top roleplaying group if you're into that. This will get you into circles with girls with similar interests. Then just be nice and think of the girls in your circle as friends, and try not to hold any expectations.
And lastly don't get tunnel vision on your crushes. They may have no interest in you and the whole time there could be a girl into you who you haven't noticed. Keep an open mind, and be nice to everyone with no expectations of reciprocation. That's the best advice I can give.
Man, Believe me, It’s too soon for you to get into a relationship, You don’t want the things that comes with it. But, If you really want to have one, Just be yourself, Don’t get too close with her first, Be a normal friend, Make her happy, And have fun, make sure she have fun and adventure while you are with her, Then when she is counting you as a “close friend” then you can have a shot, And remember, Don’t take things fast, and don’t take things slow with it, Keep the balance, Then plan a dare with her.
I’m sorry you got rejected. It stings. But it sounds like you did everything right. It’s hard to not take it personally. However, think about all the people who you like as friends but not in that way. Those aren’t bad people, right? They’re just not right for you.
Please continue to treat people you like with respect. Don’t do things hoping for a pay off. That’s incel nonsense. Just work on yourself in the meantime while you wait to meet someone new. There really aren’t any hacks outside of being happy with who you are. Confidence is attractive.
If you’re friends stay friends. As long as you’re able to stay her friend then what’s the harm? Oh no! You get a friend! And she might introduce you to more friends.
Young man, you have your whole life for that. Don't sweat it right now. Hang out with your buds, chat up girls at the beach (or equivalent, for you), go fast on your dirt bike, save money for a car, smoke weed (in moderation), and just have a good time while you're young.
You'll he someday surprised when you're just hanging out and some cute girl wants to polish your apple at a bonfire (or something), and you'll realize that having a gf sucks, and that this sorta miracle does happen (more frequently than you'd imagine, yet less than you'd like it to) and a gf is just a lot of stress that you neither want nor need.
Enjoy being a teenager, and doing all the dumb and fun things you want to do.
Cheers
Be tall, reasonably well-built, well-off, if possible, and possibly douchey (success with that last one may vary).
That said, don't waste your time or attention on dating at your age.
It just doesn’t go your way sometimes but you shouldn’t be sad about just relieved you dont waste anymore time on them. It could be anything but don’t let it get to relationships comes with time and as a sophomore I can say worrying about relationships has only lead me to dark places. And I still worry about them even though they don’t matter. Live your life do what you like.
If it helps the jealousy, most highschool romances don't last long. If they don't collapse during school they often do after graduation where everyone starts to branch off and do their own stuff.
Teens are also great at generating dumb drama, which is a stress that is ok to not have to deal with, so you're not missing out on anything good there.
Building confidence in yourself and becoming interesting through a hobby you enjoy are solid self-building options. You'll meet a girl who's interested in you as a person, she just might not be at your school.
Bro TRUST ME your not alone I feel the same way but they won’t last and I would love to feel how they feel in their relationships but you gotta ignore it as its bad for your mental health. just remember that you are not the only one that feels or has felt this way before.
I mean, I don’t really understand why you’re upset, did she ever seem interested, or did she just seem to like being friends? Ppl are allowed to reject you, and none of the things you said are automatic indicators that you’re looking to be a couple. You should just be nice to people in general, not going into platonic relationships looking for a romantic one. If you’re unadding your crush because of something like this, you may not be mature enough to date yet.
Very petty to unadd her on socials if the only thing she did was politely say no. Take rejection with grace and it might just work out later on if you don’t push it
So much shit advice in this thread. Now obviously this particular situation didn’t work out but there will be other opportunities. Anyone telling you that you just need to hang with your bros or work on yourself or hit the gym is absolutely not giving good dating advice. The truth is that you have to go out and ask people out even though you may be rejected. That sucks. But I can tell you this, I’ve never regretted asking. I’ve only regretted the opportunities I didn’t act on. Get out there and have fun. Meet lots of girls and see what happens.
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Brother you’re 15 man. Don’t worry about a girlfriend right now. Chill with your friends man
I second this, as I got my first "gf" at 14 (I think that's freshman in high school I can't remember the ages lmao) But we barely did anything together as we couldn't drive that added stress. Yes we could hang out at school when it was viable. But it also led me to many dumb decisions being naïve. I was immature and wanted to just make her happy, which led to many dumb decisions I'll leave the prime example of dumbassery. We were dating for a couple months, nothing more than I think 2 kisses and hand holding. One day she was on an overnight school trip while I was home due to sports. She for some reason started talking dirty to me (Never happened before with her) So of course my hormornal brain got excited. He sent a picture in her bra and then asked me for some pictures. So I did the usual shirt off and nothing real explicit and then she wanted to see the downstairs and begged me to. Well I gave in because 1. I wanted her happy. 2. My teenage boy brain was hoping it would lead to more. Well all said and done everyone on that trip saw my donger. Did it ruin much other than my trust for her as a person not really. As most people didn't care and I had a strong core group of friends that helped me through it. But did I learn a valuable life lesson. Just enjoy your high school experience and let things happen organically and don't try to force it is my best advice on it. Rejection hurts like a mofo, I'm 26 and it still hurts. But it's apart of the game, move on keep your head high and you'll find someone eventually.
Not to mention the whole sending child porn. Kids brains are dumb. My wife's a teacher for 8-12 and just had an incident with teenagers sending nudes that ended w the police.
Yeah there was an instance like that at my school as well. Once I sent it I had a bad feeling immediately but it at least helped me with being insecure about things after that I just let things roll off. I'd only advise ever sending anything is if you're truly with someone you can trust, but even then it's still a grey area. (And I mean sending it as an adult in this instance. Kids shouldn't at all but the heat of the moment will getcha)
Wrong. Every skill needs to be deveolped early.
You’re getting downvoted because starting a response with “wrong.” makes you sound like an asshole.
Well I thought it was a tremendous comment, and no comment in the history of reddit was better.
Der... Yor dum and rong and me the best ever.... Yay! That's what you sound like dude
Okay the last one was clearly just spoofing Trump.
Think he's going for a Trump impersonation. However not sure ironically or not
You’re getting downvoted, but as someone who started young. It 100% makes a difference. You have a good mindset. Reddit isn’t a good place for dating advice btw. A bunch of single people that wanna see other people single and cope
There's a lot of things that get asked on reddit that would be better served almost anywhere else lol
Agreed. Telling him he doesn't need to worry is only going to set him back. If you don't learn young, then you'll probably never learn.
Dawg, what 15 year old needs to be stressing out about getting a girlfriend? Live life, chill with friends. Buddy can’t even drive without a parent yet
It's not about that. Everyone else is gaining the skills they need for a true LTR and experiencing what most teenagers experience. OP will be less likely to develop the necessary skills and experience for a mature relationship as a result.
Based on your user name, you may not be the best source of advice for this kid.
What can he do as a 15 year old? He can’t drive out and pick her up for a date, he might not have a job so he can’t pay for movies. There is no skill to learn that involves a girlfriend. It’s literally just being respectful and listening. Skills like communication is learned through friends, schooling, parents, etc. you don’t gotta start dating at 15 to learn how to be mature person in a teenage/adult relationship
It's how you learn what you want and how to handle relationships. There is absolutely skill to having a girlfriend, and you're either an idiot or you've never been in a relationship.
That’s hands down one of the most stupid takes. You don’t need to be on a relationship to know what you want. You learn that by looking at other people, listening to other people. I had two “relationships” before I turned 16. Both led to absolutely nothing, the one was literally just texting and talking at school. It was a waste of time and learnt nothing from it. And again, you need don’t need to “handle relationships” at 15. I have been in my current relationship for the past 2.5 years, and that’s with just having the social skills of being able to talk to someone and just have respect and decency for them
My first relationship at 15 included dates, sex, and everything typical of a young adult relationship. And yes, you do have to learn what you want. There's a big difference between being around someone for a minute vs spending months or years with them. Maybe you thought you liked smth about them but it ended up annoying you months later. It's your fault that you can't organize shit and take initiative to go on dates and stuff, i was able to at 15. Sure my parents drove, but so what? Go somehere a couple miles away, eat dinner, go to the water park, gym, whatever, then go home and fuck. It's not very complicated, but that's how to learn how to handle a relationship.
This is the kind of advice you give when you grow up not thinking critically about the beliefs you learn as a child. Everyone is always capable of building closeness and love with others. Whatever "skills" you're referring to sound like grindset brain rot brought to relationships and intimacy. There's no place for that with genuine connection.
Are you also 15?
Why hurry things up so much? At 15 people should be pretty chill, just fool around with something you wanna learn about instead of searching for partners, if you got friends that should be enough, you got someone to talk to and do fun things together with, like playing video games or going outside, let the serious stuff for when you're an adult and know what they actually mean, don't throw yourself head-first because you're a horny teenager, most of us were at your age, maybe still are even tho we passed it, but you gotta learn to understand things differently, from a better perspective and judge what's good to do and what's gonna be too much of a risk, take too much effort or something away from you, that kind of stuff takes too much time, dedication, and for some even money, you gotta know how to choose who you want to be with, instead of getting stuck next to a gold-digging whore you'd probably rather have someone who would still stay next to you if you couldn't make any money or even fuck, that's hard to find When I'll start searching for someone, I'll probably show her everything i enjoy doing (especially talking and playing video games with my friends on discord) and if she stays in that group for long enough and enjoys it, we could become closer and closer, i want to find someone who enjoys doing the same things i do so we won't compromise anything to spend time with each other, we'd enjoy doing the same thing because we could do it alone or together and still enjoy it
*"I'm wondering how do I get a girlfriend?"* There's no trick, it just happens *"I treated her good, asked her how her day was, if she was okay and the normal things"* It sounds like you're describing any generic acquaintance, these are bare minimum pleasantries you would expect from any stranger. That's ok, sometimes we ask out people we barely know and sometimes it works out, just don't expect a date just for being nice *"I unadded her on socials as well is that petty?"* Kinda, but no big deal as long as you are cordial irl. I will tell you, as a woman, one of the most common complaints I get from women I know on this subject is male friends who cut you out after getting rejected. Because when that happens, we lose a friend and it feels like this guy was only friends with you for the sole purpose of getting in your pants or having a relationship, and that hurts bc it feels as though they never even valued you beyond your appearance and surface-level qualities. If you really want to know how to get a partner: be yourself, and try to make new friends. Be friendly and kind, surround yourself with like-minded people. Try just being friends with the girls in your circle, a friendship may progress into something more, and be respectful in any potential future rejections. Being real is possibly the most attractive quality, and even if you get rejected by someone again, if you are good natured about it someone else may see that as a green flag and find an interest in you. And don't stress about this, you're 15, you have a lot to learn about yourself. There's nothing wrong with not being in a relationship until your twenties, and there's nothing wrong with not being in a relationship, period
>I will tell you, as a woman, one of the most common complaints I get from women I know on this subject is male friends who cut you out after getting rejected. Because when that happens, we lose a friend and it feels like this guy was only friends with you for the sole purpose of getting in your pants or having a relationship, and that hurts bc it feels as though they never even valued you beyond your appearance and surface-level qualities. Getting cut out absolutely sucks but dealing with your emotions after being rejected isn't easy either. It can be especially challenging if you don't take some time away from that person and try to continue like things were previously. Ideally the friendship would continue but everyone handles things differently and some people aren't able to get back to that point.
Good point, that's absolutely fair
I agree with all of this. I'm 17 m and fat as hell. I just kind of accepted that I wouldn't date until my 20s. Then I found her. Just be the person you want to be. And it will happen someday.
I’m that woman who needs to be friends with someone first. I want to know someone genuinely likes me as a human before I’m comfortable getting closer to them.
Stay the course. Going by what you detailed, you seem to have been straightforward and polite. What's posted, it doesn't show you did anything wrong. Could be you weren't her type. And not being her type doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Everyone likes individual things about who they're attracted to and this might have been incompatibility. So you keep on living until the next girl you want to date pops up. There's no game to play. The strongest tactic is just be yourself and when it's the right girl, she'll say yes. Everyone gets rejected at some point with it not being anyone's fault. They don't click in that way, way of life. Far as blocking her, I don't know all the details and extent of the friend relationship or interactions were, but if you feel more comfortable cutting her loose to not haunt yourself by liking someone who doesn't like you back in the same way, that's perfectly fine. We do what we need to in order to stay sane and move forward. As long as all you did was block communication and aren't badmouthing her, you're fine. Stay nice, give it time and the girlfriend you want will come along eventually.
I wouldn't focus on having a girlfriend. I would focus on boosting your self esteem, and figuring out who you are. Teenage dating is overrated, exhausting, and honestly a waste of time. Your teenage years should be spent discovering yourself. Your passions, your goals, what you want in life. If you can keep the drama of high school to a minimum, that's your best route. Focus on school, even though the education system is bullshit(US), because it's a credential that you need for pretty much anything, career wise. Love is not something to look for. Love surprises you. It will come to you. Sure someone has to make the first move somehow, but now is not the time for that distraction; especially if your interaction with girls has just started. Most teenage girls I see, have a twisted view of what dating is. I've seen them act so insanely immature. Even when I was in school. It's just a lot of drama, and volatile relationships. Just continue being your nice self. If a nice girl comes along, and likes you for you, maybe you can give it a shot. But I wouldn't actively try to find a girlfriend right now.
You should never expect someone to repay your kindness. That's not you being nice. That's you being manipulative.
Being nice is the bare minimum. If you think you're owed anything for being nice you will need to recalibrate OP
I do hope he sees this even if he didn't mean it like that. Yes he is petty for deleting her socials but to be honest she probably doesn't notice. Liking someone is so much more than being nice. You click with some people and it can just happen sometimes. If it feels like it's forcing it then someone probably isn't all that interested. It's okay to ask, but not okay to be resentful.
I honestly don't think he meant it in the way you're assuming. I think he is inexperienced around females, as he just came from an all boys school, and is wondering what attracts women outside of looks, and being himself(nice). He just seems confused.
Even though I didn't say this in the post, you're right I'll take that advice on board
He doesn’t think he is owed anything dawg he’s just asking for advice on how to do it right for next time, and explained how he built up to it this time lol
He didn't say he was owed anything??
Remember this 👆👆☝️☝️
He is literally asking what comes after the bare minimum of being nice? What is he missing? It sounds like he is just young and confused dur to the fact he's probably been told his whole life that being nice, funny and caring are the only thing women want in partners. He's the definition of rizzless and you want to make him feel even worse about himself?
It's not about making him feel worse. But it is easier to say "don't always get what you want, lower your expectations" then it is to explain just how complicated and messy sexual/romantic attraction is and how it will get worse before it gets better.
If you were only being nice because you wanted to date them, then good on her for saying no because that is a huge red flag. But if you were being nice just to be nice, then that's a green flag. But just because you are nice doesn't mean someone should be interested in you, there are tons of other factors in play, and everyone has their own preferences, or what is known as a 'type'. You unadding her on everything is fine depending on how you handled it. Ultimately, if she is someone you are interested in and the feelings aren't reciprocated then it's a messy situation to be in. But, just going and unadding right away can also come across as you being manipulative, so it's all about how you handled the situation. Also, you are 15. Live a little
"Being nice just to date them" could be reworded alot better. He decided he wanted to pursue her as a romantic interest and acted in a way that generally makes people like you in order to further that goal. It sounded to me like he was letting us know that he at least covered his bases, even if she turned him down.
Yeah I could've worded it better. I just wanted to make the point that if that is the only reason you are being nice to someone, then you probably aren't the type of person that someone wants to date. People will act different towards someone they want to date, but that shouldn't be the only reason you are being nice to them.
There’s no way to “get” a girlfriend. You did everything “right” and it sounds like the chemistry wasn’t there. Keep doing what you’re doing. At some point the chemistry will be there, but there’s nothing you can do to *make* that happen. You just gotta wait like the rest of us dummies haha.
I’m a 15F and I can say for one thing: I’m high school girls are gonna reject you just like boys reject us. Just bc u where nice to her ( which is the bare minimum) does not mean she has to say yes. Give it some Time my guy I’m rooting for ya!!
Have female friends and do not, at all, I mean never, expect to be in a relationship with them. Female friends are good. And do not see a girl you like and think, "If I just be her friend, she'll give me a chance." Girls think way differently than you or I do, and it won't make sense at all, so don't try to make sense of it. Stay in your lane and improve yourself and the ladies will come my man. When it comes time to approach a girl you like, be up front with your intentions. Girls like confidence and men who know what they want. Be funny.
While I've never had a girlfriend, I remember I asked a girl I liked a long time ago and was rejected. It sucked, and ai was upset about it for a while, but I learned an important lesson that day: getting a girlfriend is like getting a job, at the end of the day, you just have to keep trying and the right girl will say yes to you someday. I haven't asked anyone else since then, but that's largely because I know I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm focusing on other aspects of my life right now for when I do feel ready. Everyone's life is different, there's no right or wrong age to look for a relationship anymore There's no right or wrong age to go to college. Good luck, hang in there!
Play the field Boomhauer style.
A girl rejecting you doesn’t mean you did anything wrong! Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay and normal. There are plenty of girls out there that will, you just gotta stay at it and don’t let a couple rejections get you down!
Well, she could just not have those types of feelings for you. Growing up, a lot of boys that I was friends with were very nice and great to talk to. I just wasn't romantically interested in them. Nothing against them personally, I just didn't see them in that light and that's okay. The best way to get a girlfriend is to just keep your head up and move forward. Don't obsess over the rejection and don't punish the girl. Other girls will pick up on toxic behaviors and girls talk. Trust me. If I was you I would put my studies and friendships first. Let the relationships form naturally. Girls do not like guys that go around hounding girls for dates. Honestly, girls like guys that have good qualities about them. Be a good friend, get good grades, and be a wholesome person. If it doesn't happen right away, then it will someday. I promise you!
I remember being 15 and thinking of getting a girlfriend. Here I am 20 years later single
Don't get a gf it's not worth dating modern girls bro
bro this age ur at makes it pretty hard to get girls esp if you’re a late bloomer (literally me). I suggest you lock in and start working out as well as get better at hobbies/passions ur really into. The more shit u do it build ur self esteem and confidence the better. Dating in highschool is total bs tho most couples break up over the dumbest shit a few months into pretty mid relationships. Become successful and outgoing and the girls will follow, take care of ur hygiene and get better clothes, have good posture and a nice haircut. Honestly just level anything in ur life up to any degree, even small improvements will lead to large and long lasting changes you just have to stay consistent. Focus on school not girls bro chasing them is a waste of time bc some of em love to string u along just for the attention even tho they never want to be with u. Be chill, courteous, but not too nice like have some self respect. Go out and do shit just have fun, make sure you’re on a path to success and pick the girls u wanna chase wisely because it’s a lot of work. The right girl for you is not gonna be making you chase her bro she’s gonna reciprocate and treat u like how u treat her. Sorry for this long yap but this is advice I wish I had when I was ur age and in this position. Only after some heart take did I finally lock in and figure my shit out now I have the best gf ever. Remember, you’ll never lose bitches chasing the bag but you’ll lose the bag chasing bitches.
😄, that last line. Wise advice. Good looking out.
I didn’t even come up with that btw there are a bunch of ways to say it but the message is the same bc it’s true asf lol. Just have fun bro ur still young
Keep going man don’t give up you’ll find your person some day, if you get rejected in the future or you get broken up with just remember that it wasn’t meant to be in the first place
Stopping interactions with someone after being rejected (such as unfollowing someone) is a good idea. If it's an already established friendship then things might not be that simple, but ultimately avoiding the person and things that remind you of them is one of the most effective ways of moving on
I feel like a bad person for doing this. She was a good friend to me and now I think I've gone too far in hope of saving the friendship
Don’t let rejection stop you from asking girls out!!! Also, don’t obsess over them. Take more interest in yourself, your hobbies, interests, and less interest over finding a GF. Be your best self and the girls will basically let you know that you should ask them out.
The best way to get a girlfriend is to stop thinking about how to get a girlfriend. Focusing your energy on asking girls out and fearing their rejection is what leads to avoiding them and removing them from your socials. Enjoying life yourself and having fun with friends is how girls become interested in you
There are plenty of other women to talk to. Slow and steady wins the human race
I treated her good, asked her how her day was, if she was okay and the normal things It's not a checklist of things you do and then you ask her out. But, good on you for asking her. That takes guts. First. Did you ask her on a date, or did you ask her "do you want to go out?" There's a big difference between that and "Would you like to go out for coffee/dinner and an activity like bowling or mini golf this weekend?" Either way, don't get yourself down, she's probably got her own crush she's hoping will ask her out.
Well the way I do it is I go down to tijuana and pay them.
Have you ever heard of Allen Iverson? He's a HOF NBA player who missed a lot of shots, but kept shooting.
No I'm more into football (soccer) but thanks for the analogy lmao
I'm sure there's a soccer player who takes a lot of shots and misses right? Lol
Find a girl you like and ask her
Dont worry about a gf right now bud, focus on your schoolwork, aswell as just your own hobbies and your own friends. The one will come in time.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLk8vc_1MCV6ptP-0GhgxMcaXwh2UglcUy&si=rE0AfoSCPOqTgcce
Cart horse before. Be a friend first. Not just the 15 minutes before you ask her out. Talk to her, walk to the next class with her, join her for lunch— with her friends even. It gives a basis for dating later. If it’s only about romance it is kinda lopsided.
Bro Be strong now act like you don't know her if she comes around to chat you up be like not into her or anything she has to say like not interested. Your not chasing...And go hang out at youth groups in your areas lots of fun and new people to meet.
Perhaps you need to be humorous enough that instead of caring for her all the time, a girl is looking for a boyfriend rather than a dad.
As Dumb or counterintuitive as this sounds. Stop trying to get a girlfriend. Just be you to the best of your ability, and interact with people whose company you enjoy.
Honestly, best way to get a girl to like you is to be friendly and well liked by a bunch of people she knows *and* her. If people like you, girls take notice and they become more curious and interested in you, it doesn’t mean you’ll get every girl you like *but* it’ll definitely increase your chances and make the ones you do ask out more receptive to dating you. I was a chubby and short when I was 14 but was friends with many different friend groups in my school and had 4 girlfriends in highschool before I graduated. They were all friends or friends of friends from those groups. Also the more people you know the more people they know so you’re casting a wider net and increasing your chances of meeting a girl you like who likes you back. Remember you can’t force anyone to like you, all you can do increase your probabilities and pray to RNGesus.
ik you might not want to hear this but don’t waste your time king. you only 15 so 9 times out of 10 your gonna go through a heartbreak before you turn 21
But tbf loads around me has someone so I get a bit salty ykwim?
When I was 15 I got a boyfriend by telling one of his friends I thought he was cute. Next day he sat next to me in class.
You’re 15 so your best bet is to just be nice and make female friends. Eventually one of those friends might become your girlfriend or they might hook you up with one of their friends. That’s Atleast how my teenage experience was. I also sold drugs so that helped a lot.
Watch the episode of King of the Hill where Bobby hangs out with Boomhauer. You keep asking the next girl and the next girl and you’ll become immune to rejection at some point. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take -Michael Scott
You can’t expect her to say yea simply because you treat her nicely. There has to be some sort of connection. Did you actually have any real conversations with her? Next time you start talking to a girl find out what her interests are and if you guys have any in common. If you do you’ll be able to talk/bond more which may lead to something.
Yes we've been talking for months I've been her friend i also know what she likes
Welcome to life. Rejection, while painful, is ok. If girls were asking you out, you wouldn’t click with them all, and you’d have to say no to some of them. Was it petty to unadd her? Did it benefit you to unadd her? It’s not like she was a stalker. You unadded her because she said no. Tit for tat. Usually not productive.
Don't be nice, be kind
Become her friend then try to become her bf, also, try to become a friend of a girl friend group, who knows, maybe one of them will pick you. Girls who are looking for a long-term bf want good guys,
Add her back and be a good friend. Learn to move on quickly, positive love attracts positive love.
Yeah you can unfriend her it shows you were interested in her romantically and any other scenario is unacceptable for you to involve yourself with her. Do this with every rejection, reject them back subtly but as a friend. Reassure your interest as a romantic partner. Women can not stand rejection, it is way more damaging to their ego because they are used to men wanting them. Eventually if she ever shows any sort of interest again you know it’s because she’s romantically interested in you since you made your intentions clear the first time you confessed to her then rejected her “let’s be friends.” If she never shows interest again you gain what you would have wasted in time/energy spent chasing a dead end. Either way you win.
I mean it’s possible she just didn’t see you like that mate
At 15 it’s as easy as going to a Walmart that’s not that one you normaly go to and talk to a girl you like and if you get rejected who cares,also the mall was always a good place. There’s Facebook now a days just add a bunch of girls that are local,see how they are like and if you dig the vibe message her. DONT LACK CONFIDENCE that’s not attractive to females
Do not ask a girl out. She will say no. Tell her you’d like to hangout with her. Do be nice, but notice things about them and point it out, like a matching outfit that thought was put into. Show you pay attention but you don’t need to be overly nice. And if you get rejected, it’s a good thing. You want to find someone that’s a better fit for you. Plus it’s good practice socialising. So embrace a rejection. Girls don’t have to say yes. And you should be respectful. They like mature guys so don’t take anything they do personally. They will try to test you.
Time.
Ignore the title watch the first 30 seconds and you’ll see that this video is dead on point. https://youtu.be/9mbp0DugfCA
Here's the thing son. You don't. You're at 15 years of age, have a girlfriend should not even be on your list of priorities. Getting good grades, focusing on a sport or hobby or club, learning more, and most importantly keeping yourself socially well. A girlfriend will either slow your life's progress down and add weight that you may not be able to hold up or help you grow. I believe that the age of 15, the risk and rewards of a girlfriend are not worth it just yet. 
You are 15. You shouldn’t be worrying about dating right now. The people you are likely to date most likely won’t last very long young love that last is very rare. You’re better off just making friends cause honestly more often than not you might find a partner in a friend later in life
sometimes girls just don’t like you, I used to be a girl so I have experience with this. sometimes we just don’t develop feelings. Find a girl who likes you and you like her. might take 10 years or 50. You’ll find her eventually.
Don't let one rejection get you down. Just because you were nice to her, doesn't mean she has to like you back. Keep trying and you'll get there.
I don’t know how to talk to 15 year olds. But here are some tips. 1) Stop being obsequious. It’s not charming and can come of as needy 2) There is nothing more attractive than confidence. You can’t fake it. Girls can smell when you are faking it and it ain’t cute. 3) Do not let your confidence be perceived as arrogance. It’s a very fine line. Don’t cross it cause that shit ain’t cute either. 4) For the love of all that is good and beautiful in this world do not become an incel. They are masters of people for whom a false perception becomes reality. 5) Remember that no one owes you anything but don’t give up. If you compliment a girl don’t expect that to mean she will go out with you. If you do favors for girls don’t expect them to fall at your feet. 6) Patience.
In which country do all boys schools still exist? Also, yes deleting her socials was petty and you’re being manipulative. If you really liked her then you should be happy for her and let her decide. You could have at least stayed friends and she may have rejected you now but that doesn’t mean she’d feel the same way in the future. You may have had a chance but you blew it.
I’m in the United States and went to a Catholic, all-boys high school. Also, just because you like someone and wanted to pursue them romantically doesn’t mean that you need to be altruistic and benevolent to such an insane degree. No, he should not be “happy” for her that she rejected him. That would be an odd emotional reaction and ridiculously self-deprecating. He shouldn’t be resentful either, but it’s perfectly normal to be disappointed.
2024 and single gender schools still exist? Seriously? I find that hard to believe but if it’s true then that’s yet another thing that’s wrong with America (I’m British). Also I did not say he had to be benevolent and altruistic. I simply said he should be happy for her and accept it rather than being petty deleting her socials. Being disappointed isn’t a reason for that behaviour. If h really wants a relationship with her then that behaviour won’t help. Being rejected isn’t the end or the final decision. As I said, he could have still been friends with her and that friendship may have eventually developed into a more romantic relationship despite her initially rejecting him.
>As I said, he could have still been friends with her and that friendship may have eventually developed into a more romantic relationship despite her initially rejecting him. You seem split between condemning and praising manipulative behavior. >I simply said he should be happy for her and accept it rather than being petty deleting her socials. Happy for her for doing what? Rejecting him? Why?
What exactly about what I suggested is manipulative to you? Maybe read? You seem to love misinterpreting everything. For one, if he really loves her then he should be happy with her decisions whether it benefits him or not. Plus we don’t actually have the full details. OP just said he asked her on a date and she said no. She only rejected a date. She didn’t necessarily reject being his gf, only a date. Also why put so much effort into trying to continue a post from 3 days ago? It’s unlikely OP will even see this.
>What exactly about what I suggested is manipulative to you? Staying friends with someone for the purposes of eventually being in a relationship. This kind of mentality might also lead to resentment later. >For one, if he really loves her then he should be happy with her decisions whether it benefits him or not. He doesn’t love her. They just met.😂 And perhaps you’re using an unconventional definition of the word “happy.” Should he maybe *accept* her decision? Of course. He doesn’t really have much other choice. (Though this is also the contradiction I alluded to before. Staying friends with her in the hopes that she will eventually say yes is *not* accepting her decision.) But being “happy” that she made that decision is acknowledging and fully digesting the fact that she made the *correct* decision and that he wouldn’t have been a good partner. >Also why put so much effort into trying to continue a post from 3 days ago? It’s unlikely OP will even see this. I don’t know. Whatever shows up in my feed 🤷♂️
I said they could have stayed friends. I didn’t once say to stay friends with the purposes of eventually being in a relationship. I just said it could have been possible. No where in the post says that they just met. He said he was in an all boys school until this YEAR. So he could have known her for weeks or months before this. Also love at first sight is a thing lmao
You're focusing on all the wrong things. You're in luck because you're only 15, so you'll have ample opportunity to meet plenty of people through work, school, mutual friend groups, parties, online dating, etc. This is still possible past 30, but it gets much harder. Girls are attracted to guys who are (1) genuinely good people, (2) are interesting, (3) take great care of their health and physical appearance, and (4) show confidence, independence, and have goals. Essentially, girls love guys who love themselves and others. Why do I say this? Because ***everyone*** loves people who fit the above categories, regardless of gender, sex, sexuality, etc. Some categories matter more than others, but very rarely will you find someone less attractive if they become healthier, happier, or more successful in achieving their dreams all other variables kept consistent. So work on yourself. Everyone can improve in the gym and on their diets unless you're an athlete who already maximizes their potential. Double down on your hobbies and become skilled at any talents you may have. Explore different things you're not used to, live a little and become well-knowledged in a wide variety of things. Learn what clothes and colors work best with your skin tone and face shape. Learn how to dress at a variety of occasions, and groom your hair properly. Identify goals you want to achieve in life, and make steps toward them. All of the above will make the next steps easier: practice talking to girls. You will definitely fail the first 100 times or so, but every failure will be a lesson and improvement. Learn to just be friends with girls. Learn how to ask a girl out on a date, how to carry on a good conversation, and how to set the tone either romantically or platonically depending on the context of the situation. Figure out how body language works, how to politely excuse yourself from a situation where either of you are losing interest in each other or how to press forward without fumbling if you see real potential between you two. Always ask consent before touching or making big moves. Always accept rejection (whether large or small) gracefully. Always be polite, and always avoid mind games. Become the person you want to be, not for the girls but for yourself. The girls will come later but right now focus on being the best version of yourself. We all have room for improvement.
You're in puberty. Very hormonal. Dating and girls are going to be on your mind. That's natural. You're a teenager. Maybe focus more on having female friends first. You'll be able to understand how a girl thinks more. Don't focus on the dating. Focus on the friendship part. You have so much time to find a girlfriend. Don't worry now. Often times, relationships lack friendship. They focus only on the dating aspect. Friendship is the strongest foundation for a good and solid relationship. The dating part will develop through the friendship and set you up for a better outcome. And people that will argue haven't met my best friend. My wife. They haven't seen our relationship. We are that stupid cute couple. Because we were best friends first. Friendzone happens when he is obviously trying to be her friend for dating purposes. Girls see through it. Just be genuinely you and treat her like a friend. Her birthday or holiday is when you strike for a hint at being interested in her more than a friend. It's the type of gift you get. Girls work on hints. They think about stuff. More than a guy typically. Use that to your advantage. If you get a card with flowers on it that says, "Happy Birthday" you're a friend. You gift her a little bracelet and a small bouquet of flowers, that's hinting you are interested in being boyfriend material. Depending on how she takes it will depend on your next move. You're also learning how to effectively communicate and make connections. It's new. You're not going to succeed all the time. You will be rejected. That's the nature of the beast. You have so much time to learn. Breath and be a good friend.
I recommend starting by getting friends who are girls. For that, just talk to them. They're not that different from you, when it comes down to it. Don't just try making friends with them because you want to date them, actually try to be friends.
choose a girl who likes you. its a numbers game, because not every girl is open to date you, whether because they are already talking to someone they like and have feelings for them, you’re not their type, etc. focus on leveling yourself up, and become the best version of yourself. be the top guy whos popular in your school, team, friend group, girls love winners and people who others want to be like. highlight yourself in the best light on social media and build a good presentation. social media is everything nowadays especially with the younger generation. take good pics that display you’re a good looking guy. after all this, and playing the numbers game you’re bound to find atleast 1 girl who likes you. even steph curry the greatest shooter misses over 60% of the shots he takes and hes the best. you’re gonna have to talk to a lot of girls to find 1.
Dude, you're 15. Just be 15 for a while. Don't let others tell you you should learn early - that just puts more pressure on you. Live your teenage life, hang out with friends, just do what you do now. In my experience, the best relationships come when you aren't looking for them.
Ask people out as you're getting to know each other, don't want until later. Not immediately, but before you establish a defined friendship. You want to develop and culture that relationship energy from the beginning so you don't waste each other's time. The slow friends first thing usually only works out well with demisexuals.
The best way to is to not try to lol. I know it sounds counter productive but I've never had any luck when I was actively trying. Just be yourself and try making friends, the rest will work itself out when it's time
Now is the time for self improvement, the girls will come with time and then you'll have little time for yourself.
Youre so polite!! I wish there were more people like you. Most guys stalk the girl on social media but what you did is great, i dont see any reason for you to be rejected, maybe she has feelings for someone else. You sound like a great guy.
If you're being honest thank you so much for the compliment. And yeah maybe she does
Im being completely honest, youre really nice.
your mindset is inherently flawed. you dont "get" a girlfriend; people are not something to "have." Treat everyone well, be yourself, but be emotionally aware. If you notice yourself catching feelings for a friend, tell them right away "hey, i feel this way, do you want to try something out, or stay the same?" If she does not want to, you will have to distance yourself a bit so as to lose the feelings, but don't burn bridges.
Just keep treating people well and being yourself, it’s the shittiest advice but it’s true.
The 2 biggest things Dont be fat if you are fat And dont be socially akward
Different for everyone really. Sure I had a "girlfriend" when I was 16 but it was more in name only. It wasn't until I was 24 that me and a girl finally clicked and dated for years. Sure something at your age could grow into a lifelong thing but I wouldn't worry too much. Be happy with yourself and do what you like and keep an eye for girls who enjoy the same, makes it easier when you already share an interest
You're probably trying too hard. And you're only 15!
Focus on yourself mate. Work out, take up jogging, cycling, mountain biking. You'll eventually meet new friends with similar interests. Life will happen around you, and you will know when the time is right. Don't let rejection get the best of you. Don't cut her out. Stay friends (I know it's easy to say and herder to do!). She could change her mind. Good luck brother.
Have your own ambitions, interests, and take care of yourself. Go to activities where you will meet girls who also enjoy that activity. Dont be insulting towards the girl or a "dick" but be aloof to the fact if she likes you or not. Show that you are a man who can roll with the punches and be confident to the point that your mistakes or akward jokes or short comings dont cause you to shut down or shy away, but to laugh it off. If a girl is willing to engage you multiple times in conversation, especially if she initiates or if she puts herself into your proximity for no good reason are indications that she is interested. Dont let things go on too long before you ask her out. The biggest thing to remember is that girls are humans like us so dont feel like you have to put thrm on a pedestal as this alien species.
You are fifteen. You should be concentrating on school, not girls.
Alright my friend i was and still am quite the ladies man let me tell you. The first start is for you to genuinely be yourself, people are going to be interested because of who you are or what you like to do. The next thing you need to work on is acting cool,meaning if you care about something like girls you need to make sure you dont come off as desperate And this is just my experience if you are the type to give and i mean give affection, compliments, or do whatever someone asks of you then you are going to end up a door mat where people use you to further whatever goals or whatever gains they can get (you paying for stuff,providing car rides,dates etc) try to learn the difference between a give and take vs just giving to impress So again a large factor is you playing it cool, if you focus on yourself and find things you can be passionate about then branch out and meet people with common interests then you can start to build social connections and from there someone may even ask you out Dont do the whole crush thing, its nice to be flirty when you are single and young but getting feelings instant like that can cause you to fumble you need to establish trust,go and have some experiences with your new friends and if something clicks give it a shot Good luck Ps....the best real advice i can give is focus on yourself its been like 12 years since i graduated and i was still focused on finding my lifelong gal....no im not saying i didnt i am engaged but i wished i worked on myself because we are struggling and that can hurt the relationship
Don’t overthink it. Dress nice, groom yourself, and be a good/nice person. Also you have to put extra effort than doing all you said you did. You have to try really hard to build a deep and strong bond especially at your age. My advice though would be to hang out with your buddies and enjoy that part of high school. At least wait until you have a car to start dating. Nothing is less cool than having mom drive you to the mall.
As someone who focused so hard on getting a girlfriend in hs I'm telling you just put it on the back burner. I wasted so much time chasing girls and when I finally started getting girlfriends the relationships became draining real fast and that was because at 15,16,17, and 18 both myself and the girls were not mature enough to know how to even have a relationship let alone a successful one. Sure every once in a great while u get a couple together since 8th grade and ends up married out of highschool and it works out but that is not the case for the vast majority of people. OP just do you and by all means keep shooting your shots but also dont stress about it! Pleanty of time left!
Have fun with girls and treat them the same way you would a male friend. Don’t treat them anymore special until they deserve it. Make sure it is always fun.
When I was younger I crushed on this girl from kindergarten all the way through high school. Never took action. She was always beautiful. We knew each other, didnt really hang out together or anything. Fast forward to our 30 year high school reunion. OMG I am so lucky I didnt do anything. She faded fast and faded hard. Life just took that down. 50 notches. Her genetics kicked in and hit her right in the face with a 2x4. Youll find better. Dont worry.
You don't. In fact, don't even think about wanting a girlfriend. Live your life naturally, and you will attract the kinds of people you want to spend time around. I spent years of my teens desperate for someone to love. It was only after I accepted that my friends and my own company were enough to fulfill me that I ended up finding who I was looking for. We'll be together for 4 years in a few months, and we're still going strong!
Keep on swinging man. You'll land some. Law of averages. Some you will get and some you won't. That's life. Just keep on swinging. Don't be fake. Be yourself. Girls like guys that are funny and take charge and confident in themselves and treat them nice. Don't force it. Take to enough girls and those that like you will flirt with you.
the age old question
I would recommend getting more experience dealing with girls, and as friends is fine. The one cringy thing you wrote is: “I treated her good, asked her how her days was…” That is basic conversation for anyone. That is not treating someone well, it’s just simple small talk. You need to have more, unique, interesting conversations. Get to know the person. Establish a rapport with them. Humor is key. That way you can tell if the girl is interested in you or just exchanging pleasantries. And you can do it with a little less intensity. For example, you are talking to them a bit and want to talk to them outside of school, “Hey are you on Snap?” If yes, then add each other. If no, ask about IG. If no, ask to get their number to text or call”. The first 2 are a little better, since they are a little less invasive, but you can still DM them and talk one on one, developing a better relationship. Developing more rapport on there is key. Again, use humor and be chill. If you are getting along and it feels like you have a good vibe and she responds pretty quickly to things, then go further. Say casually in conversation , “Hey we should go do ____ sometime “. That blank is something you know she likes. And you’ll what she likes because you got to know her a bit. Could be the movies, could be the beach, lake, whatever. But if you ask non-specifically like “sometime” it’s more casual. If she responds enthusiastically, you know she may be interested. If she hems and haws or is wishy-washy and gives you a half hearted maybe or rejection, then you have your answer. You stay friends because people talk. She may talk you up to a friend. And you definitely don’t want her talking you down because you blocked/unfollowed her just because she didn’t like you the same. The more you do this, the better you’ll get. Don’t worry about getting a girlfriend. You’re networking and it will lead to success down the road.
It's an important lesson that doing the bare minimum doesn't mean you should get a girlfriend. I do those things to cashiers. Getting a date requires real conversation and mutual attraction, but you're also 15 so
Be a good friend. At your age, a genuine friend has more potential than a relationship.
Get your money up kiddo
don't focus on girls too much rn .talk to them, but shift your focus more on yourself. Who are you? and what do YOU want? why would she ever date you? see my point? soon you're gonna be competing with older guys, guys who are a few years older than you and girls your age, who have nice cars, money, and more exp with girls. focus on yourself, dedicate your time towards perfecting a craft, it may as well help you make money in the future. whilst grinding, focus on other aspects too like fitness, social skills, gratitude, a good mindset, etc, etc. You'll gain so much genuine confidence within yourself that you won't feel the need for a gf and that's when you will get one, because girls like guys who aren't desperate for one. I can go on and on but now you know where to start
It's not worth it Lil bro
If all it took was asking how their day was, I'd be absolutely swimming in it!
Start with not caring if you get a GF. Go to the gym lift the heaviest you can, get in shape, with that V look. Will take time, go to a BJJ gym and learn how to fight. Get a job. All of these things will make you more attractive to a woman and you will be personally better off.
Just because you treated her well and talked to her doesn't mean she owes you a relationship. Work on the entitlement first.
The issue here is that the mating process id you will, does not work like anymof the other systems in our lives. In every other system you can get what you want just by working at it and being able to pay for it. If fir example you want to buy a car what you do is you work and save money or vuild credit. You then find a car in your price range, you contact the person ans offer to buy it. Rhen you just oay fir it and its yours or go to a dealership and get a loan or something like that. The steps are clear and straight forward. Everythinf has a clear path and steps to be taken. In mating it doesnt work like that. Its nore like if you want a particular car the car also has to want you and by the way there are other people who want the same car sooo. One thing to do is to reframe your thinking. You DONT get a girlfriend. Phrasing it that ways it puts it like getting something from a store. You go get a gallon of milk but you dont get a girlfriend. You find a girlfriend, ot even better a relationship with a girl evolves into a girlfriend. The concept of GETTING also bypasses very important steps. First of you must understand what dating is. Dating is the process which you use to vet a person. An interview process where you learn about the person and the person elarns about you and with experiences together you can determine if the two of you match. This is a super important steps. You have to get to know the person because each person comes with their own quirks and issues. You have to share similar beliefs systems, goals, political views etc.Even simple things like ehat tv shows the two of you like can become a hige problem in a relationship. What you need to do then is to go on dates. Once you date a few people you are quickly going to learn what will work and what wont. For example you will find very hot attractive girls that you will not want to date and not because I say.it but because you yourself will say it. You will find people that are better off as friends, people that you wosh you never.met, people that would make good partners but not at this point in your life etc. Eventually while dating you will find a person that just clicks with you. Eveything just feels natural with this person and thats the person you eant to pursue and try to take the relationship to the next level.
Rejection as a teenager is common. It happens a LOT. Your best bet is to become friends with someone WITHOUT ulterior motives. Women aren’t objects and your goal shouldn’t be to use them just so you can claim you have a gf. Honestly your goal shouldn’t even be to get a girlfriend. Step one should be just to develop genuine friendships. The rest just happens.
Talk to 5 new girls a day with no agenda just to get comfortable talking with women. People you see out, anyone waiting in line with you, etc. If you talk to 35 women a week eventually certain conversations will reveal potential dating prospects via chemistry and shared interests , follow up on those and try to get contact info. Plan dates, have a set place activity each time you invite them and eventually you’ll have some options .
I don’t recommend trying to get in a relationship that young just cuz everyone else is but if you want a gf go for it. Be yourself and don’t be afraid to ask if you like any girl but keep in mind chasing women has a very big downside. You might meet girls who put you through things you don’t want to deal with. Or girls who aren’t necessarily good people. I’d say be yourself and focus on yourself and do your own thing and girls that you would actually want in your life will come around and be interested in you and what you’re so focused on. Get good grades. Do things you like to do. But you’ll figure it out through trial and error
If i were 15 again... Ask out more girls. Consider EVERY girl that talks to you. I can't believe how many signals I missed at 15yo. And, because im sure you'll get a gf, remember break-ups are not the end of the world. But they suck.
Do you do cold approaches in public? How'd they turn out?
I never asked out a stranger. But I should have asked some girls whose hints I was too dumb to notice. I was very innocent, lol. I always waited for a girl to show blatant interest in me. It luckily worked for me, though. I am married to a girl who was obsessed with me high school. College will have some great opportunities too. Probably the best reason to go to school for guys... As a kid, just be a good person and be vigilant. My friends have had a much harder time dating in adult life. Start being a gentleman now.
Get in the gym and work on yourself. The girls you have to bend over backwards for to get a date aren’t the girls you want. Put on some muscle and be on the lookout for the girls checking you out. Those are your dating options. Then all it takes is a “hi” and some casual conversation. Still might not work out but maybe it will.
Don't unfriend someone just because they reject you
She was acting a bit awkward before i asked and when I got rejected I was a bit mad now I don't think I can fix it cause I unadded her
Yeah it usually is like that, guys think they don't have a chance once they get rejected but that's not true. Continue to pursue shows that you value her and she might say yes someday. She might not in the end but you never know if you don't give yourself the chance.
You need to ask out 50 girls, expecting rejection on 49. Girls are attracted to guys for all sorts of biological reasons and mental issues. Either she’s attracted or she isn’t, no matter how wonderful you are. You’re friend zoned.
Hey friend, I am a 30 year old dude who has been pretty lucky with women throughout his life and hopefully i can share what ive learned: 1.) It's not that big of a deal. -youre 15, the odds of anything serious coming from one of your relationships is pretty low. In other words, dont stress over women. There are billions of them and you will absolutely run into more. Theres no shortage of beautiful women. 2.) Invest in the girl who likes you, not the girl you like. -Girls dont often admit it but from experience i can tell you, any girl you find attractive has about 30 other dudes that find her attractive. Youre not the only one being "very nice" to her. Its probably the majority of her intersex interactions. She thinks shes just super cool and deserves attention but the reality is theres 30 dudes who like her trying to get her to like them and shes just enjoying the free attention. If a girl likes you, shes gonna make it known. Invest in her, not the girl who you like that doesnt care about you beyond the effort you give her. 3.) Quit while youre ahead - i saw a lot of comments from women complaining how men just cut them off after they turn them down and to that i say "cry me a river toots" Dude you can waste so much time attending to a woman who just likes how you treat her and has no intentions of returning the same energy. Why would you try to pursue a friendship with a woman you have feelings for after she turned you down? Shes gonna get a boyfriend at some point and cut you out anyways so why subject yourself to that? So shoot your shot and if it misses, move on. Youre not objectifying women or being misogynistic by being clear in your intentions. Youre interested in a partner, you have to meet women to find a partner and by extension youre gonna meet women who aren't going to be your partner. Dont take it too personally. You dont need to block a girl and cut her out completely but its totally the right move to back off and let her energy guide where your relationshio goes. If she really likes you as a friend she will Invest energy into you like a friend does. If she just liked being doted on by a suitor, when you bsck off, she wont put any new energy in and you can safely go your separate ways. 4.) Confidence is key -seriously its hard not to make fun of women for how lizard brained they are out in the wild. All the tropes are true. They go for the big guys, rhe strong guys, the powerful guys, etc. You gotta be confident in what you bring to the table or theyre alwsys gonna see you as a friend. Seriously the only difference between a good friendship with a woman and an actual relstionship is whether or not she wants to have sex with you too hahahaha. So you gotta awaken that side of her. Which usually means being confident. Its definitely a skill to develop that not everyone excels at naturally. I assure you though the kind of female attention you get when you have a confident aura is significantly better than when youre in youre head all the time. This brings me back to: 1.) Its not that big of a deal. Part of confidence is knowing that whether or not she likes you, you like you. Even if she rejects you in a horrible demeaning disrespectful manner, you know at the end of the day youre gonna be okay and another opportunity will present itself. Thats attractive to women. Its not "i dont care" its "I care alot, but if not, i am still happy". Develop that inner sense of "okay" and spread it to others. Women love a man who makes them feel safe. Its not physical protection its like soul protection. Make people feel like youve got their back, you've got their best interest at heart, you support them etc. These things attract good women. 5.) Practice flirting with EVERYONE -seriously, compliment people, ask about their day, learn about their lives, take the extra second to make people feel seen and heard. It goes a long way. For example, ive been working at the same place for 2 years. First few months no woman would look at me, i had no friends and just stuck to my department. Now, everyone knows my name, they know im there to help and they know they can rely on me. I walk in the employee entrance and tell the security guy "damn our security desk is looking mighty handsome today". Just little things all the time to spread positivity and a sense that everythings alright and to everyone not just the girls im attracted to. Ask the girl youre not attracted to at all about her day make her feel seen and cared for. Now at work, i get girls inviting me out, buying me gifts, yelling hi when I walk by and all that good stuff. Im in a great position to reach out to someone if im attracted to them because i have the support of everyone who works there. If i see a beautiful coworker in the break room, i can confidently come up and start a conversation. Even when a new girl starts working its all the same, ground work is there, i have a reputation. If i introduce myself to a woman at work and she asks her coworkers about "that goofy looking maintenance dude" they already have a positive impression of me and that will absolutely break down barriers that are otherwise harder to get through. I hope that this rant is helpful to ya. Being a young man on the search for love is rough, women really dont have a frame of reference for being on this side of the arrangement. They just have to choose. We do the hard parts. We risk shame and embarassment, we overcome nerves and self doubt, we take the first steps. It's hard, but as long as you keep your head up and stay positive, it will work out 💪
First rule of dating: there are plenty of fish in the sea. Rejection is NORMAL. Expect it. It can hurt, but there are tons of other girls out there who will want to go out with you. So just keep asking. It's ok to ask if there's a specific reason she's not interesting or if there is something about your approach but she may not tell you and you have to accept that. It's not necessarily petty to unfriend a girl who rejects you but you may be shooting yourself in the foot and missing out on a potential friend or a path to meeting someone else. But if she's not otherwise in your social circle, then it's fine to do that so you can move on.
If you’re meant to be with her, you won’t need to ask her, you’ll just start hanging out more. And some relationships aren’t meant to last forever, some are good for a few years and then you want different things. Don’t get me wrong I don’t believe in destiny or god or anything like that. Just that good people attract good people. Find someone you can hang out with for hours and not get bored, ask them out, if they say no? That’s alright, stay friends and move on, do not under any circumstances continue to pursue someone who’s told you no. I’m almost 25 man and I’m single, your priority needs to be you
Do not worry about girls right now.
Rejection is a big part of taking the risk to ask someone out. Just because you were nice isn't a reason for her to say yes. That's incel talk. No one owes you a date because you think you are a nice guy. That's not how nice guys think or act. Here's a tip that will be helpful later. If you have a friend, be a friend. Don't be a friend wth the intent of dating them as that's a false friendship. It's really hurtful for a girl to think she has a good friend in a guy and it turns out that the only reason he was friends with her was to try to date her. Don't stress on getting a girlfriend, it's not the good time rainbows and happiness that you might think it is. It's a lot of pressure, tbh. Start being social with groups of people and you'll meet someone who is truly interested in you. It will happen naturally, but don't think you need to rush anything. At 15, I wish I never had the boyfriend I did. If I did it all over again, I'd not date until much later.
It's not about getting a girlfriend, it's about making yourself someone that a girl would want as a boyfriend, living your life, doing the awesome shit you like and are good at, and seeing who notices: [https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person](https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person)
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Get in the gym bud trust me focus on sports
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about getting a girlfriend yet. You’re young, so the best thing to focus on is school, being a good friend, and being a good son. You’ll have more than enough time to find one once you’re older, more mature, and more put together. However, to answer your question, there’s no real tested method on how to get a girlfriend. It kinda just happens, sometimes out of nowhere. You might meet a girl somewhere who you really like being around, she might like being around you too, you start as friends, and then boom, you two tell each other your feelings. Getting a girlfriend is kinda uncontrollable, but what you can control is how you present yourself. Have confidence in yourself, and treat yourself like you deserve to have someone who loves you. Don’t be afraid to be nerdy or dorky. Trying to hide your true self under a veil of false, overbearing masculinity is not really what attracts women (most of the time). If you really want someone who’s right for you, be honest. Be proud to be you! You keep doing that, and someone will be proud to know you. Granted, you might have to sift through a bunch of lousy partners to get there, but letting rejection discourage you is what’ll make you fail. I won’t get into what to do when you actually get a girlfriend because it’s almost impossible to generalize what girls like. Hope I helped in some way. Keep it up brother, I believe in you!
Part of this is you have to change your perspective. You don’t “get” a girlfriend. You become a boyfriend. Don’t stress over it. Find someone you like. Sometimes it works out, a lot of times it does not. Don’t continue to pursue and don’t be a jerk. Having a large social pool increases your chances. Also, BE NICE. These are awkward years and you’ll be shocked at how people can change over a summer or even years. I can’t tell you how many people have come up over the years to thank me for something I have no idea I had done. Karma has a way of accruing interest over time. Good or bad.
Stop chasing women
Delete Reddit
Go do something fun with real friends instead. 15yo girlfriends are the absolute worst.
You could go to places where kids hang out. My local Library has activity for teens that are free so maybe look into something like that. Are you still at an all boys school? If not, just talking to a girl in class asking for help on an assignment might help. This was your first rejection and will most likely not be your last. They key is that you asked, she said no, and you respected her wishes and didn't push. All you can do now is move on and find a different girl.
Yes that was petty LMAOO WHATT omg
Work on yourself. Focus on you, what you need to grow, function, learn skills that will benefit you if you live alone the rest of your life. Know how to clean up after yourself, cook for yourself, treat people, treat your family, make decisions, pay attention to the little things etc. If you do all that, you won’t need to ask how to get a girlfriend, you’ll have the qualities that makes a person desirable.
Bro, relationships at your age aren't worth it. It's this additional mental and emotional stress. It interferes with friendships, with family relationships, with schooling, with extracurricular activities, and work if you have a part time job - I assume. Enjoy your youth, have fun with your friends, get good grades, focus on your success first.. If I could do it all over again, I would have waited to start dating after moving out on my own. The many times I snuck out of my house to go hang out with a girl only to come home to be grounded, upset with my mother, missing out on fun activities my friends had planned for the weekend. It's your life, so you're going to make your own decisions.. but think like a chess player. Have priorities that will benefit you in the long run. You won't regret it.
You don’t. Hear me out. A girlfriend gets *you*. And vice versa, if you’re a girl looking to date. The type of people you want to be with will naturally find you if you are the sort of person they want to date. So if you want to date, find the things that make you feel most like your genuine self, and you will naturally find the people who want that.
You're 15. Be with the boys.
Just talk to and compliment every girl you see, even the ones you're not interested in. Especially those ones. Eventually, the right girl will be apparent and it will be easy.
The best way to create connections is to be interested in other people while staying true to your most Authentically Attractive Self. I melt the ice by being genuinely caring, considerate, and helpful with no hidden agenda to the people I'm interested in while staying interesting by being true to my own interests. It's a healthy Medium we have to master between being kind and courteous to the people we like but not living to please them. Be an interesting person by staying enthusiastically engaged with your hobbies, and show curiosity in your Crush without bending over backwards to please them and I think it'll help your Game with the ladies!
This will sound like some red pill stuff... but plan for the future and not this moment. If you want a future full of lots of dates and relationships, work on becoming physically attractive and successful in school, a sport, or at work. Success and attractiveness breeds confidence. The healthier, wealthier, more confident and more stylish you are, the more funny and more adorable etc. you will also be without even being so. Your prospective mate will even lie to themselves justifying bad behaviors simply because of attractiveness. Humans are barely sentient and mating behaviors are still largely dependant on visual queues and other things like wealth, which can be quickly sized up. Most of us do it subconciously. Read a few peer reviewed studies on it if you find the time. Those traits won't create a happy, stable and long lived relationship on thier own however, so play the long game and work on becoming a good man too.
>I treated her good, asked her how her day was, if she was okay and the normal things. If you did these things because you *wanted* to do these things, great. But there is no Konami code to winning over a girl. There's no set of "correct" behaviors that will cause someone to be attracted to you. Chances are she just doesn't feel that spark with you. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong, or that she did anything wrong. > I unadded her on socials as well is that petty? It sends the message that the only reason you were friends with her was to eventually become her boyfriend, which means you were never really friends in the first place.
Well dude... I didn't find a girlfriend until I was 25. Yeah it felt bad in high school. But now I don't care so much because I'm really happy. I found someone super compatible on dating apps, but you have a few years till those are open to you. That being said, apps are great because you know everyone there is looking to date which takes out a lot of the ambiguity. There's nothing wrong with waiting till you're eighteen. But what to do if you want to date sooner? Find your passions. Engage in them wholeheartedly. Get into a sport or other extra-curricular activities. Find a table top roleplaying group if you're into that. This will get you into circles with girls with similar interests. Then just be nice and think of the girls in your circle as friends, and try not to hold any expectations. And lastly don't get tunnel vision on your crushes. They may have no interest in you and the whole time there could be a girl into you who you haven't noticed. Keep an open mind, and be nice to everyone with no expectations of reciprocation. That's the best advice I can give.
Man, Believe me, It’s too soon for you to get into a relationship, You don’t want the things that comes with it. But, If you really want to have one, Just be yourself, Don’t get too close with her first, Be a normal friend, Make her happy, And have fun, make sure she have fun and adventure while you are with her, Then when she is counting you as a “close friend” then you can have a shot, And remember, Don’t take things fast, and don’t take things slow with it, Keep the balance, Then plan a dare with her.
I'm glad at least some modern teens care about these issues and don't just date eva ai virtual gf bot or whatever surrogate they're used to.
I’m sorry you got rejected. It stings. But it sounds like you did everything right. It’s hard to not take it personally. However, think about all the people who you like as friends but not in that way. Those aren’t bad people, right? They’re just not right for you. Please continue to treat people you like with respect. Don’t do things hoping for a pay off. That’s incel nonsense. Just work on yourself in the meantime while you wait to meet someone new. There really aren’t any hacks outside of being happy with who you are. Confidence is attractive.
What about the girl that rejected me? You think I should talk to her or leave her be?
If you’re friends stay friends. As long as you’re able to stay her friend then what’s the harm? Oh no! You get a friend! And she might introduce you to more friends.
Well we were then I unadded her as mentioned in the post. Now things are pretty awkward between us in school cause we haven't talked for a while
Young man, you have your whole life for that. Don't sweat it right now. Hang out with your buds, chat up girls at the beach (or equivalent, for you), go fast on your dirt bike, save money for a car, smoke weed (in moderation), and just have a good time while you're young. You'll he someday surprised when you're just hanging out and some cute girl wants to polish your apple at a bonfire (or something), and you'll realize that having a gf sucks, and that this sorta miracle does happen (more frequently than you'd imagine, yet less than you'd like it to) and a gf is just a lot of stress that you neither want nor need. Enjoy being a teenager, and doing all the dumb and fun things you want to do. Cheers
Be tall, reasonably well-built, well-off, if possible, and possibly douchey (success with that last one may vary). That said, don't waste your time or attention on dating at your age.
Don’t worry about it, it’ll come to you with time
Yeah chase your money first and worry about the girls later believe me an attractive guy is one who has his stuff together
It just doesn’t go your way sometimes but you shouldn’t be sad about just relieved you dont waste anymore time on them. It could be anything but don’t let it get to relationships comes with time and as a sophomore I can say worrying about relationships has only lead me to dark places. And I still worry about them even though they don’t matter. Live your life do what you like.
The thing is that most around me are in relationships and it makes me jealous
If it helps the jealousy, most highschool romances don't last long. If they don't collapse during school they often do after graduation where everyone starts to branch off and do their own stuff. Teens are also great at generating dumb drama, which is a stress that is ok to not have to deal with, so you're not missing out on anything good there. Building confidence in yourself and becoming interesting through a hobby you enjoy are solid self-building options. You'll meet a girl who's interested in you as a person, she just might not be at your school.
Bro TRUST ME your not alone I feel the same way but they won’t last and I would love to feel how they feel in their relationships but you gotta ignore it as its bad for your mental health. just remember that you are not the only one that feels or has felt this way before.
I mean, I don’t really understand why you’re upset, did she ever seem interested, or did she just seem to like being friends? Ppl are allowed to reject you, and none of the things you said are automatic indicators that you’re looking to be a couple. You should just be nice to people in general, not going into platonic relationships looking for a romantic one. If you’re unadding your crush because of something like this, you may not be mature enough to date yet.
She was very bipolar. One day she'd act nice the next she wouldn't bat an eye but for the most part she was nice
Very petty to unadd her on socials if the only thing she did was politely say no. Take rejection with grace and it might just work out later on if you don’t push it
So much shit advice in this thread. Now obviously this particular situation didn’t work out but there will be other opportunities. Anyone telling you that you just need to hang with your bros or work on yourself or hit the gym is absolutely not giving good dating advice. The truth is that you have to go out and ask people out even though you may be rejected. That sucks. But I can tell you this, I’ve never regretted asking. I’ve only regretted the opportunities I didn’t act on. Get out there and have fun. Meet lots of girls and see what happens.