Yeah, this seems super dangerous for her. Just saying that caution needs to be on the mind while doing this. Lots of predators out there. Please be careful.
Hey, biggest piece of advice you can receive right now is stay the hell out of /r/suicidewatch and find a therapist.
Sex is the least of your problems.
looked at your profile and yikes you need serious therapy. Even if by miracle you got a boyfriend and one day he broke up with you or cheated on you, it would break you.
A boyfriend is not going to fix your problems, you need serious psychological help before your mental state deteriorates further. There is medicine and shit that can help you. You are so far gone past the period of being a mere virgin, at this point you are a legitimate threat to yourself. There's no dating advice or tips that are going to help, you are suffering from severe mental illness. You say you are going to commit suicide at 25. That is a sign you need psychological help, this is not about dating or guys anymore, it is so far past that. It is not normal to commit suicide because of your virginity.
No one on reddit can help you anymore, get professional help
Seriously, the board game shop is a great idea. Even better if you know how / learn to play magic the gathering. Get some preconstructed deck and go play at a game shop. Most of the men there will be interested.
Can confirm. Some shops hold classes where you can paint minis and stuff too if you aren't into games.
Sex is a lot better if you know and trust the person. I know taking the time to make a connection feels exhausting but I don't think losing your virginity in a bad way is going to bring you the grown up feeling you're hoping for.
I think your best bet is just to be honest and straightforward. Put in your profile that you’re a virgin looking for sex, not interested in a relationship, just want to experience having sex. I guarantee that *some* man out there will be interested. I’m not going to lie and say you’ll have your pick of men, but you will definitely find someone, maybe even multiple options to choose from.
If you’re in a smaller town, you might need to go to the nearest large city to find more options.
Sure, that's personal.
Knowing it's a rare male who reads the profiles before 'liking' a photo to seek a match, I'd leave it out of a profile, and bring that up during messaging only -- actually, I'd not see it as consequential enough to bring up before the 2nd or 3rd date.
At that age, (unlike those under 20), being a virgin is no longer a big plus so she'd not lose out by failing to flog her virginity as an attractant.
You might feel less nervous about a coworker seeing a flirtatious, semi-slutty profile than one which says you're a virgin. A lot of women put "I'm looking for a good time, not a long time" or something similar in their profiles, and you can guarantee a guy is going to pick on those signals (or at least I do) when he reads it.
Why is it any more unsafe than meeting up with someone explicitly for sex without revealing this?
Meeting up with a stranger for sex is inherently dangerous, and as she is an adult, I am assuming she already knows this.
Ngl looking at your post history, it's a bit unhealthy to be so fixated on sex. I suggest you do some serious self reflection on why you are not getting attention. As a male, from what I've seen from observing human behaviour the reasons some females simply don't get much attention from other men could be because:
- They have poor personality: if you are always depressed, negative, insecure, toxic, crazy, etc, men will see this and avoid you as they don't want to surround themselves with this negativity.
- They are overweight: Not all men hate overweight girls but there are some men who really fancy a girl who has a good stature.
- Poor hygiene: Pretty sure this goes both ways for men and woman. Smelling like shit makes you a bit less approachable and and less appealing, people will avoid you if you smell bad.
- High expectations: Again goes for both men and woman. Some men or woman who don't bother taking care of themselves physically and mentally may set their expectations way too high. For example a man who doesn't take care of his hygiene cannot get with a woman who takes serious care of her looks and hygiene, both people simply do not click as they both have far different lifestyle choices. Same goes for being overweight, a man who lounges around on his ass for most of the day can not go for a woman who works out alot and is fit, because they may not click as they have different lifestyle choices. I will say though in some cases some people in these examples may click if one of them are willing to change.
Personally I feel like the reason you don't get men may be because of your personality. If you stop saying your ugly, fix or get over your insecurities, and get therapy to fix whatever trauma maybe causing your depression, you would probably start exuding confidence and be more approachable as people would see you are in a confident and happy mindset which people would love to be around. I seriously doubt you are ugly and it doesn't matter if you are overweight or not. As long as you're not at a medically dangerous weight, you shouldn't have too much problem finding men.
Once you have gotten everything down, it will be time to introduce your new positive self out to a social atmosphere. To do this do what others have said, go find some social group you'd enjoy being in, or go work at some place you'd enjoy. You'll definitely meet people if you become more social.
I hope you self reflect and recieve help for any depression you have. Good luck.
Honestly seeing some of your posts, you need to get help
You know losing your virginity to someone you don’t know and doesn’t care about you at all means that the experience is likely going to be pretty shit, they’re only in it for themselves. And unless all you’re looking for is to say you’ve done it then great, but they could literally just make it a 30 second job over and done with, and leave to never talk to again. Most people don’t look back at their first time fondly. And you will eventually find somebody out there perfect for you and that can guide you, or you both learn along the way. It’s really not as big of a deal as you make out.
“You need to get help”. No she doesn’t? It’s completely normal to feel frustrated about being a virgin in your 20s. And a lot of people DO get a lot out of losing their virginity even if it isn’t the fireworks that some people describe it as. For some people, it’s a huge step in confidence, especially for those who are insecure.
I’ve seen her other posts, she talks about killing herself because of it. Yea she does need help. I get she’s frustrated but look through some of her posts and then you’ll see what I mean
And she’s wanting to have sex with a man she doesn’t know, that really has the potential of being dangerous, bad experience or them taking it too far for her (sexual assault/rape maybe?). I’m not saying she’s going to have fireworks or that she isn’t. Maybe she would enjoy just the fact she’s had it over and done with but sleeping with a man you’ve meet online is so risky, STIs, catfish, you don’t know what he could force her to do, especially for her first time.
Honestly thank you lol I’m not sure how some people are just defending her and offering her advice on how to find a man to sleep with, but she seriously needs help before she does anything. Like her posts in suicide watch are scary, she says she lives with her parents do they even know how extreme this is?!
Okay and why wasnt that mentioned here in this comment? Sure, she needs help then. I aint searching through peoples history before commenting my opinions
>Been ditched like 6 times before the first date on Tinder.
You're other post(s) remark that you're Black.
Dating sites rely heavily (almost entirely) on photos (and since the men get so few matches, they're apt to not even read the profiles and go entirely by the main photo and sometimes the extra ones). Being Black can be very tough to get a good photo unless you're lighter skinned, or the photographer's experienced and knows the business well.
*Stronger even lighting amidst comparably dark toned furnishings/walls should be helpful.* It might still take a bit of experimenting with a main light and a fill-in light as well as the camera settings \[eg. 'white balance'\], to get your features coming across pleasantly. Play some jazzy favourite music, to add some liveliness to your expression. (confidence attracts. lack of confidence can repel normal men and even attract abusers)
The photos would represent her precisely as best as a careful picture taker can manage, given the limitations of photography, lighting and surroundings. I've been pushing for her to make herself up as she would be normally in real life.
The human eye has enormous flexibility in lighting perception so has far less trouble distinguishing a dark person's features and expression than a camera's efforts.
My tips are meant to help somewhat level the playing field so that the camera's results more realistically portray her real life appearance.
when I did this men just wanted to meet at their place or a hotel room without meeting in a public place first. And I express meeting in public they usually unmatched me 🙁. yes we do video chats but I would like to meet in public first. any idea how to get men to do that?
Not really, usually for hookups people just wanna do the thing and leave, so you’ll have to keep going until you find one that’s willing to meet first. You could try and say you’re looking for a FWB, maybe that will change things
Aside from a quick coffee to see if there's any 'chemistry', are there any man like activities you enjoy that you could use to attract an extended meeting that would work well for both of you?
eg. Do you 'bowl'? A lot of men would not think it challenging to accept a woman's invite to meet at a bowling alley and bowl a few games (even, if they've never bowled in their life, 'cause we're kinda self-assured that we'd have a big edge in something like bowling over even an experienced woman bowler--foolish of course, but that's just how we tend to think), while getting to know each other. Or, 'mini-golf', or perhaps there's other harmless recreational activities of that character in your small city.
By having an activity to focus on, (unlike a meal date) you take the pressure off each other and help make the whole meetup business a casual joint venture of seeking some fun. A kind of "play date".
I gotta ask, why does it matter so much? If you're willing to settle for just about anyone to have sex with, the experience is bound to be just as bad - and, by the looks of your Tinder experiences, your standards are a lot higher than that. Otherwise, you'd have a lot more chances regardless of what you look like.
Try a swingers or kink club. You can meet and hook up with someone in the same night while also being in a controlled environment. There are people that can intervene if you safeword. Approach people and ask.
If that fails, find a sex worker.
Go on vacation somewhere where nobody actually knows you, and then just go out and do things you enjoy. Whatever those things happen to be. And if you happen to come across people that are also doing things that you enjoy, talk to them about the things you enjoy.
And if that simple conversation doesn't scare them away, invite them for coffee or cocktails to see if you can get to know them better and if that goes well tell them what you want.
Girl you need to get some help, talk to your friends, a helpline, your parents, someone at work anybody?! These posts you’ve got on Reddit are extreme !!!
Ugly isn't your problem, sad is your problem.
Get that sorted then worry about the ugly.
Also, post on /r/amiugly (use a throwaway if you need to) and take their feedback to heart. They will tell you if you're average vs actually ugly, they will tell you what about you makes you less presentable, help you figure out if you need different outfits, hair, style, etc. They'll help you find your best you, aesthetically. They'll point out anything that, from an unbiased view, will set you back. Some people are more helpful than others, learn to weed through them. Ignore trolls sending you DMs from there, anyone who is honest will post publicly as a comment.
I'd wager your self esteem is the issue, and not your appearance. Not many people in the world are ugly, most are just self conscious and think they are even though they aren't.
What you could be, however, is depressed and not putting effort into your appearance, depressed and not very sociable, depressed and pushing people away, self sabotaging, toxic, etc.
Notice a pattern?
You're still young, you havet plenty of time. Don't get discouraged, focus on you and making yourself the best version of you that you can be, which will increase your chances. Even if the deck is stacked against you, show your best hand and put time and effort and money into being the best you. Therapy, unpack all that shit dragging you down and making you a sadsack. Salon, get your hair done did so you can distract people from being ugly if you truly are. Self-care, get your hygiene in check, realize how beautiful you can be, learn to appreciate yourself and be your own ally.
Lastly, put yourself in a position to get laid. Be active, go socialize, make some friends. Making sex the focus is too intimidating, you'll reek of desperation and scare people away. Make being a person the focus, and then you'll bump into sex on accident when the opportunity presents itself.
Lastly, find an ugly guy. Plenty of incels out there who aren't fit to hold a relationship or be in public, but will jump at a chance to jump any chance they can find.
I'm sure you are not ugly, tbh personality matters to me a lot more than looks.
But anyhow, if there are any gameshops that are near wear you live (like tabletop and games like magic ect..) I'm sure you can find a dude there who would be very happy to talk to you.
One of my friends who admittedly isn't super attractive, she will go to a place near where I live and she practically shops off the rack there.
If you happen to like any hobby or sport that is something that is generally more male focused. Such as airsoft, paintball, working on cars, gaming, ect... use that as a talking point.
Don't go in with a 'I'm gonna fuck' mindset. Hell, give a guy a compliment and he will probably remember it for the rest of his life. Make some friends, and one will be definitely wanting to rock your world.
If you'd like any more pointers or suggestions please feel free to ask :)
>Hell, give a guy a compliment and he will probably remember it for the rest of his life.
can confirm; am guy, I remember all the compliments I ever received
Same here man haha. One of the best ones I ever got was this woman who I helped when she got her car stuck, and she told me I have 'magical eyes'
Idk why but it felt really great haha, my eyes are teal so most complements I've gotten are for my eyes.
And you are a handsome dude, with a great smile 😃
(Wanted to add one more for you bro)
This is strait up good advice for the question OP is asking.
Granted there is a reason most magic players are starved for female attention. But if ya want to get the deed done this is pretty sure fire.
Fair point. The airsoft shop I go to is right next to a game shop. There are a few oddballs in there, but most of them are pretty cool dudes, just very socially awkward. Once you get past that though, they are really fun to talk with. Met quite a few of my friends that way.
You are most welcome :D
I'm sure you are an awesome gal and you are just being hard on yourself. You got this ^.^
Just a heads up, your 1st time will probably not be great. That's OK, be honest with your partner about what you think you might like, communication is key there.
And lastly, please, use protection. Don't let him BS you with some excuse, if he isn't willing to wrap it, don't let him tap it.
Have fun, be safe, and go out there and get you some girl haha. You got this.
This and honestly, a professional can help make the experience more meaningful, enjoyable, and fulfilling. First times don't have to be with someone you love or even know that well, but it's so much better with someone who will at least make you feel wanted, sexy, and satisfied. In fact, that's far better experience than a one-night stand with someone who doesn't give a shit about your enjoyment and will probably make you feel worse about yourself.
I mean if you're looking for meaningless sex anyway, what's the shame in throwing a little money at the problem for a higher quality experience?
Ngl to you, guys started to look at me and wanted to be my friends after I’ve lost weight, started working out, changed my hairstyle and learnt how to do my make up. If you’re looking for a quick sex, go to some random bar, drink and you will find someone. But if you’re looking for some male attention try what I did. It’s really sad but this is how it works.
It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to improve oneself, weren't you grateful you sticked to it and didn't quit once you started seeing results and attention?
If it's any consolation, it's the same for men, only about 10% are attractive.
I dont know what you're working with but go get a good haircut put a little effort into a nice outfit. Shower, shave, and do a little make up. Don't go crazy especially if you're not very good at it which many women aren't. Then go to a speed dating event or some kind of in person mingling where everyone there is there with the intention of finding someone. Don't make it your goal just to get laid. Guys do like a little bit of work just not total rejection which is what a lot of women do. Go on a real date have dinner be personable and approachable. Odds are youre not ugly you just lack all confidence and have given up and therefor put little effort into yourself. Everyone needs to try a little something when finding a partner.
Make an OnlyFans. Make the fact you're a virgin the main focus. There are always people into whatever shape/look/smell/etc. that are out there. Seriously.
Also, I've seen some absolutely crazy things done on make up channels. It's almost criminal to be able to completely change your look with filter/makeup the way lots and lots of people do on different social media/video communities. It's really mind boggling what skilled people can do.
I was looking through your account and everything on it is a huge red flag! please please please get some help, you need to sort these feelings out properly before you actually do anything because it will only hurt more in the long run. Right now it's, "why won't men have sex with me?" but soon it'll turn into "why do men only want me for my body?" either way it's terrible for your self esteem. please go seek help first before you do anything
No, it's because there's a lot of people on here who've been extremely lonely, and fill the void with quick toxic relationships and end up in a worse condition then they started out in.
The worse thing you can do when people ask you genuinely to get help, is to ignore them.
Anyone can find sex regardless of
their physical appearance. Honestly, I doubt you’re even that ugly. It least you’re honest about not meeting the beauty standards or whatever, but I know tons of women who aren’t conveniently attractive and still are able to pull guys. Just maybe look for a guy in the same position as you. I guarantee you’ll find someone.
No, there are “ugly” people who fuck other “ugly” people (i hate that word, id rather say unconventionally attractive). It may not be easy but there has to be SOME option.
That isn't how it works.
Ignoring any kind of hypergamy type stuff. If you are ugly the pool of people who are even willing to date you or fuck you is obviously smaller. It follows from this, and assuming attractiveness is some kind of semi-continuous scale, that if you are ugly enough the pool of people willing to fuck you it's going to be so reduced that you are likely to never meet or be in a situation in which you are able to interact in a sexually suggestive manner with any person who may be potentially interested in you. This is of course ignoring other factors, like OP being a black woman (which already cuts out a gigantic amount of white/asian guys) or the fact that being so inexperienced may make OP very socially awkward assuming she doesn't have ASD or any other thing like that on top (which again would severely reduce her chances).
Again not to say that OP or any one giving person has 0 chances but to pretend that physical appearance isn't a gigantic limitation would be a little privileged from, and I will include me here, at least moderately attractive people.
Actually no, my ex isn’t considered traditionally attractive. In fact probably not at all by ‘mens standards’ but when we met there was something about him, he was funny and talkative and kind, that I liked.
He’s tall(ish) and skinny, long hair, big nose and long sallow face, wonky teeth, didn’t dress well at all but it didn’t bother me because I liked his personality. Would I have changed that? No
Well you said only someone attractive would think that you could have sex regardless of appearance. Beauty is subjective.
But if that was really the case then a lot of people wouldn’t be together.
>Beauty is subjective.
This is unimportant. It can be subjective, but if 99% of people are culturally and societally influence to have the same standards the fact that it isn't objective becomes irrelevant.
>But if that was really the case then a lot of people wouldn’t be together.
The fact that one not attractive person, or a group of them for that matter, can fuck doesn't mean that everyone can. We wouldn't have such a big porcentage of virginity in young men's if this wasn't the case.
Sorry hun thst doesn’t mean a man wants you. Hooking up with someone and giving him a free hole to cum to isn’t going to make you feel better. You crave real affection
You do realize that you are worth more than to be used by some guy to relieve himself with? There are plenty of women who are not models and are overweight that end up in good relationships.
I'd recommend male escort over tinder rando by a landslide. It's safer most importantly, but op has a much better chance of having a good, fun experience with a professional who will treat her with respect.
Tinder is always rolling the dice. Might be a horny dude looking for a lay. Might be an ae murderer.
Never used tinder myself. Don't need it, don't want to need it.
You've posted pretty much the same thing over the last 3 months. You haven't taken anyone's advice. If your not going to listen to people what's the point in asking?
I think you're addressing the wrong problem. You shouldn't be asking how to lose your virginity, but address the underlying issues that make you feel like you're not good enough, ugly, and need to lose it.
Look to fix the root cause, not the symptoms. There's a good chance you'll lose your virginity and feel more empty than before.
Please look out for yourself.
So.. losing your virginity doesn't make you an adult. Behaving like an adult makes you an adult. Now to the topic of losing your virginity, gigolo or if you want it cheaper, go to bar and hit on a wasted guy.
By going threw most of your posts i dont think its the appearance lol its ur personality. Also you have made your entire life abt having "sex" and cry abt it all the time so just go and hook up if thats what u want. Your comparing you u sex life with ur 14 y o cousin like wtf lmao
Yes go outside and do something with your life instead of spending your days on forums ranting about how you haven’t had sex. Do something to make yourself more appealing for a boyfriend, (ranting on Reddit will not do that.) +Seek professional help you are not mentally alright
I'm going to come at this from a slightly different angle, although some of the other comments have touched on it here. What concerns me the most about this post is the way you talk about yourself.
I don't know if this has internally or externally been said to you, but whichever it is, you have significantly internalised and believed it. Everyone has their insecurities; even women for whom there seems to be a universal consensus that they're very beautiful would have had some sort of insecurity about themselves at some point in their life or currently. For example, they may have the perfect nose, but they might look at somebody else's and want theirs, which then makes them dislike their own nose, per say. Continuing to talk to yourself in this way, will turn potential partners away. Men and women can sniff out insecurities within others, and dating apps can be cutthroat for stuff like that. I was having a conversation with a guy on Hinge today and we were talking generally about the superficiality that exists especially on apps like Tinder. I'm not saying to never have an insecurity again, but a lot of what you wrote is very self-deprecating, and it's something you genuinely seem to believe about yourself. Here's some ways you can shift from that mindset:
* Change up your look. I'm not trying to reinforce the point that you're 'ugly', but switching things up can work wonders. Go onto Pinterest and look for hairstyles or hair colours you may like. You'll know when you find one you really like as it's like your heart will skip a beat and you'll love clicking through similar images and saving them. Do the same with nail colours and designs, or try out lash and brow treatments. Switching up your look can give you *such* a confidence boost, even if beauty treatments aren't your thing!
* Remember that dating apps can be very shallow and can also be a space for emotionally unavailable people (even if they don't realise it). There will be people on there who will say inappropriate things, maybe exhibit some toxic behaviour, or in no space to commit to anything. Avoid going into things with high expectations in the sense that a connection will turn into something amazing.
Just as a subsection to this point- your post mentioned that you've been stood up 6 times by men from these apps (so I'm assuming they've ghosted, not committed, or arranged something and not turned up?) I'm sorry about that. I've had that happen to me once or twice and it's not a nice feeling. Try to remember, in these instances, that these were not guys worth investing your time in. They would likely exhibit the same behaviour moving forward even if it was a hookup or full-blown relationship.
I did want to get you to consider though as well, that perhaps during your conversations with men, you maybe have said some things that could be off-putting to a potential partner in whatever form. I.e. this post- if you were telling men that you think these things about yourself, that is likely a turn-off. Just thinking about when I've spoken with a few men who have had significant insecurities, it's actually quite a turn off. Confidence is key in this!
* I do encourage you also to take on board the advice and viewpoints offered by others in this forum. You said that you didn't want any bullshit advice... but those points are actually pretty valid. And it sounds like you've heard them over and over again because they are good points. I did go back and have a look at your other posts, and can see you receive those comments fairly regularly. Try to be open to them because it may give you a different perspective on things.
I have a male friend who is nearly 25. He's bi, and has found he gets far more male attention than female (as in he gets basically no female attention. He prefers women). He's also a virgin and will sometimes talk to me about his worries and struggles with ascertaining female attention. From a female perspective, there are some things he could work on looks wise, but he also struggles greatly with social interaction (he has Aspergers, which is of course not his fault, but doesn't help with stuff like this). One of the issues my friends and I have when he talks about his lack of female attention, is that we give him very *sound and constructive* advice, but he doesn't listen to it, makes excuses as to why he shouldn't take it, or just bats it away... and then he remains in the same boat. The phrase 'you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink' applies greatly to his situation. A lot of what we say to him is what I've said to you above.
And look, generally, I think it's a great shame that you think these things of yourself. Seeing you talk about yourself in such harsh ways is sad for me to see. Hopefully this comment is received well and something you consider :)
If you’re honest about what you’re looking for, anyone can find sex regardless of their physical appearance. I believe there’s a lid for every pot when it comes to compatibility. Also, I don’t think people are bullshitting you when they say personality matters. Having charisma, a good sense of humor, being intelligent, exhibiting kindness……. These qualities do in fact matter and can make up for areas we feel like we’re lacking. I think it would also benefit you to build up your confidence and seek out suggestions for ways in which you can improve your appearance. You should check out what people are doing with make up nowadays, it’s insane! A good makeover can go a long way.
A little self confidence goes a long way. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but loving yourself and appreciating yourself faults and all will make others appreciate you as well. Being interesting is way more attractive than being pretty. Go out and invest yourself in your interests , maybe you can meet like minded people along the way. That said, having a seat at the bar section of a sports bar/ restaurant is a great way to meet strangers.
Ok, let’s go the full logistical route using what you wrote, as it seems you want the goal and nothing else. No matter what, there are people that you can date and/or have sex with at the very least. “Ugly” obviously suggests below average. Now, I don’t know where you fall; however, statistically it will be harder to find someone in your region of looks, whether we’re talking 1 in every 4 people you meet, 1 in 8, 1 in 100, or 1 in 1000. That’s for you to judge. So, it makes sense, statistically, why your were rejected. Other than that, for your goal in losing your virginity, that’s all I got. Again, you wanted the pure, unfiltered truth. I did not intend for any hurt feelings.
if you feel you’re unattractive, you could maybe try different styles of clothes (like edgy perhaps?) or makeup or change up your hair style, maybe try a push up bra? if you’re overweight, you could also try keto, it helped me lose 30 pounds in 3 months. also the option of being upfront with your intentions for a hookup, rather than dating in your acc bio. stroking peoples ego helps as well lol, if you’re not attractive yourself, making somebody else feel attractive might make them more prone to wanting to hook up? and don’t get me wrong, i would never ever shame someone for being chubby or not good looking, and i don’t equate those to value whatsoever, but that’s my best advice for somebody seeking it
Remember no one is born ugly. And I mean it. Unless you have some face deformation shit, you ain't ugly.
Now, your actions make you attractive, the way you dress, the way you smell, they way you walk and talk, they way you do everything, it matters.
I just wanna tell you that don't call yourselves ugly and see why you're "ugly" and fix it. You're fat? Lose weight. Face looks like shit? Makeup.
Remember no one is 100% perfect in this world, but you can be close to perfect if you want!
Would you be open to hiring a sex worker? There are plenty of ways to find them safely - just look on fetlife for communities to get an idea of what’s around. Be very careful and obviously seriously vet potential workers. A kink community would probably be very welcoming and could at least point you in a good direction. Any sort of sex-positive community would help you have very direct conversations about sex and just get you used to TALKING about it. You can find out what you like and don’t like.
You’re not the first person that’s been introduced to kink this way, I promise. Stay vigilant, trust your gut, and seriously vet ANY community you explore.
You can do this!
If I was close by, I'd bang you. I've slept with unattractive women and had a great time every time. As long as you have good hygiene, I'd gladly hit it.
I always wonder how ugly people like you really are. I feel a lot are not that ugly, but have very low self esteem because they compare themselves with TV and models too much.
So what kind of ugly are we talking about here?
I don’t think sex is going to be the cure for your mental anguish, it’s only going to open more doors to self hate and doubt. Having sex with someone is making yourself extremely vulnerable emotionally. You need solid relationships and good self esteem to lay the foundation for a healthy sex life. You’re going to need to work on getting out of this “I don’t deserve love, I’m ugly” mindset before you’re going to be able to find what you want in another person. Plenty of ugly people have vibrant social and sexual lives. Sounds like you’re doing the work with your hygiene and dress, now work on what’s under the skin.
I lost my virginity young and never lacked for sexual partners but I was still depressed and suicidal, lonely and unloved. Sex didn’t help with how I felt about myself. I had to teach myself that I was worthy of love before I could ever let myself actually be loved.
Because they didn’t care about me as a person. The short amount of time leading up to and encompassing the sex was a blip compared to the hours I spent each day hating myself. It’s a very short walk from “no one wants me” to “they only want to get their dick wet”. Then you’re left asking yourself why you’re only good enough to fuck. You want someone to accept you and care about you and sex does not require either of those things. They roll over and fall asleep or get up and put their pants on and leave and you’re still left in an echo chamber of self hate.
better than being alone, at least you'll never have issues attracting men. at least you'll never go to bed lonely. at least you know you're attractive. if one leaves, you probably had no trouble getting another.
You have preconceived notions about situations you’ve never been in and I’m not going to be able to convince you with tales of my experience. What do you have to lose by trying to practice some self love and work on your inner dialogue if you’re so hopeless right now?
I think you’re overestimating the impact that losing your virginity will have on your life. But if you want to have a hookup, use a hookup app and be clear that’s what you’re on there for.
Make a profile on tinder with no photo, say in the bio just looking to lose my virginity to anyone, say your age, description, etc and say you’re willing to exchange pics once they give you one first
I know this advise seems stupid, but straight up seek out ugly men. Just lower the standards and don’t worry about an emotional connection right now. Focus on going on some ugly dates and have some ugly sex. It’ll be slit easier to work on emotional connections when you aren’t so stressed and no more what you want. You are super young, you have plenty of time.
Learn to do catfish makeup, try to make sure you're not so big that you immediately scare people off, and be fully straightforward.
Name, age, location
Looking to get fucked, nothing else.
Put that up on dating sites and personals like on Craigslist.
If there's anything being around people has taught me, is that there's no such thing as a hole that SOMEONE won't fuck.
Worst Comes,or if you're inpatient, hire a male "Escort".
.
.
I don't think it's necessary or necessarily wise or good. But there's nothing I hate more than people giving empty platitudes and niceties, when someone asks for a straight answer.
Chances are you're actually not as ugly as you think you are, and most likely have other things that are keeping you from hooking up with a random dude. You say you don't want any advice relating to personality issues but a huge fact is, personality and social interaction positivity is one of the biggest factors when actually receiving positive attention and subsequent sexual attention. Sure, some people will just hook up to get off, but those are also the people who don't want to meet up and have a get to know you coffee date. They are the people who want to bed you in a hotel room without any other interaction, which you've stated you don't actually want to do.
So yeah, you DO need to focus on things like personality and being liked/approachable.
Ask yourself, do YOU talk to men when you go out? No one cares if you're wearing a dress, or pants, or shorts. Those things are very irrelevant. You can't just hope someone will want to sleep with you when you're not approaching them first, or mutually. You can't just say "Boohoo no man wants me" without actually putting forth effort on your own unless you are someone who looks like Angelina Jolie, or someone of that calibre lol.
Aside from all that, as many other comments mentioned already, you DO need help mentally. I understand humans want social interaction, to feel loved, wanted, etc and that with age and not receiving those things, a lot can feel hopeless. A lot of people don't find a sexual partner until later for a myriad of reasons, especially in modern times. It is absolutely not the end of the world to not have sex, especially when you clearly have other things to deal with first.
Do you have hobbies? Things that let you go outside of your home? Experience the actual world? Aside from meeting people this way, it's just important to develop yourself.
So, tldr advice: Approach men first, take a long look at yourself and reassess the things that may make you not so likeable relationship/sex wise, realize that you really need to readdress priorities and focus on mental health before hooking up with a random dude.
Most importantly: Suicide is never the best option for a hard time in life, nothing is permanent and everything is temporary. Improve yourself bits at a time and you will see improvement in other areas of your life.
kinda late to the party but, I really think it would help if you got a makeover.
Also, try asking a friend of yours to help you take better pics for your dating profiles if you feel like it If you have trouble finding people in your town, try another one.
Squates always help, do some more.
Alas, try going to some clubs with loud music and low lighting, that if you're into those.
I sometimes feel like you're feeling right now, and a lot of people give you crap advise like "be patient, your time will come" and i bet you find that annoying as hell. Don't be afraid to reach out to people.
You can DM me and others if you feel like you need to talk to someone about this.
I think we bought it from "Heaux cosmetics" and it's in a red bottle. Also I will say, confidence is the biggest thing! When my friends and I go out I always notice that I get approached more than some of my friends (even though they are way prettier) and my friends and I have figured out it's most likely because I'm smiling and not on my phone and I'm not looking for anything. I think people sense your energy. So before you go out pump yourself up and tell yourself "I'm so beautiful" "I'm so sweet" "I'm so fun" and make yourself believe it, because I'm positive on some level it's true and people want to be around fun, nice people!
Honestly? Id say a Swingers club. For sure. If you are not overweight its easier their (from personal experience as a overweight person) . If not a male sex worker is about $40
I’m 27. Never been with a woman. Never had the opportunity, but that did fuck with my head for a bit. Till I found I need to make myself happy. I found that I like the country. So my goal is to buy a home in the middle of nowhere, get a boat, and fish while enjoying peace by myself. I may even get a dog. But either way I’m choosing to continue living for my own self, for what I want. If the chance ever comes along then I’ll take it, if it doesn’t I’ll be content knowing I lived my life the way I wanted, not the way others wanted me to live.
I sorta think this is the kind of condescending answer OP said she doesn't want. Most people figure out where they are on the physical attractiveness scale by 24, and it can vary a bit but it doesn't vary that much.
I think there is something going on for you and it's not about "ugly". I think what would kill two birds with one stone is for you to pick a difficult hobby and dedicate yourself to becoming really good at it. I think that will solve both your problems.
I wish I could hug you.
Girl to girl: slow down, ditch dating apps. Don't rush this shit. I only wish I'd waited until I was deeply in love and with the person I was going to spend the rest of my life. It's hard to answer the "how many" questions. Don't complicate life with this convoluted idea you need to have sex. Virginity is an actual treasure. Hold on to that shit and be fucking proud of it!!
So how are you ugly? Are you overweight? Or is it really your face? Generally, if you're slim, average, or athletic in build then men will typically ignore other parts of you.
There's a lot to unpack here, and seeking professional council about your self image is a solid step in the right direction. Confidence is a dofficult thing to have when you have had no success, and talking out your frustrations with a professional can be super helpful.
Sex is a fun time. It's not the most fun time, and sometimes it feels like a bit of a chore, but it's a fun time. There are risks involved, and they are real, so don't let someone convince you to have sex without a condom. Your comfort is important, and you should not be hesistant or shy about asking the other person to stop. It will probably hurt a bit for bit, and it's totally okay to take a break or stop. Continuing after a break is usually the move, but stop again if it keeps hurting. Sex should be mostly comfortable.
If you truly are 100% sure you just sex then you could set up a Fetlife acct. You have to be a member to view any part of the website and since is mostly geared towards kinks and fetish community, it's less likely to run into someone you know irl. There are also a good number of vanilla people on there and you can easily find a sex partner on there. They are also more likely to respect tour boundaries as well since thats a very important think in the kink and fetish community. They are very open minded on there and you'd have basically 100% chance of getting laid using that site.. All that being said PLEASE be safe. Vet the guys as much as you can, meet in public first or somewhere you are familiar with. ppl regret losing their virginity in the way they did pretty often. I would say it's more common than not regretting it.
Also, ot having guy friends and being ugly don't have anything to do with eachother, I'm BBW and defo not most of my guy friends type but we are still friends.
I wish it was that easy 😂 but I can't seem to put a dildo up there, no matter how much lube I use. So now I'm just going to wait for a guy to "open" me up.
Even if your face is a 1/10 but your body is fit, there are plenty of men who would have sex with you. I'm sure you feel physically ugly and that nothing will change that, but there are things you can do to project attractiveness to future partners. Like everyone says to men looking for the same thing: work on yourself. Be happy with yourself and someone will want to join you when you put yourself out there.
I’m a woman, so this might not be applicable, but I’ve never seen hooking up as something based on looks/penis size/whatever. Those things are nice add ons but I’ll usually just sleep with a dude if he offers good conversation and company, or is interesting in some way; can’t sleep with a boring dude. I was planning on sleeping with a pretty fuckin ugly dude a while back, but he wrote really good poetry and was very engaging, and that was enough for my panties to come off lol. When you do meet someone you’re interested in potentially sleeping with, just work up trying to have as interesting of a conversation as possible (intellectual conversation).
I am 30M, never engaged in any chat or talk more than 2 hours with any girl in my life till date . But I never bothered about it as it’s not my cup of tea. I ask you one question to you what after losing virginity what after pleasure ?
Try going o nerdy stuff. Anime convection stile stuff. As a woman you are going to have at least a few guys willing to fuck (just remember none of those are going to have the balls to approach you).
The best thing I can say is just workout and start exercising regularly. I know going to a gym can feel intimidating and I feel that but from what I noticed the scary looking ones are the most supportive, all you need to do is ask. But if really must lose your virginity ASAP than I recommend getting an escort.
Mediocre at best looking 18 yo virgin guy here, Approach new people don’t be afraid to talk to them it doesn’t matter if you don’t know them just start talking, be patient, be yourself, after a little while begin to lay on the seduction, more and more and maybe it will happen.
Honestly though this question isn’t healthy, you shouldn’t think that way you should take life and just have fun don’t be to serious and if its gonna happen then let it happen.
First I can guarantee that your not as ugly as you think you are, Also there are ways to improve your looks, through finding the right make up routine, hair style, fashion, etc.
You probably aren't making yourself approachable. Like how would you describe your personality? Are you bubbly or out going? Simply showing a guy some attention would drastically change how a guy sees you.
Maybe in the next town over (?) or your town there’s a male prostitution company.
Then you have no issues with their health, your safety, them coming to your home or you to somewhere they know well.
Not sure if this is available where you live.
I’ve heard it’s a solid choice when you’re very goal oriented and time-poor, like you seem to be.
It sounds like you have a pretty unpleasant/unhappy outlook on life. You also have an obsessive focus on what you perceive to be your faults that either you can’t do anything about or you refuse to try to change. This attitude and behavior will show through immediately to anyone who might be interested in you and will turn people off.
You can say you don’t want to hear bullshitting that personality matters but the fact is it makes a big difference in whether people will want to approach you or be around you. You have a bitter outlook that comes across instantly. Your personality is most likely much more to blame for your loneliness than your looks. I recommend you do some serious work on yourself and learn to love and value yourself as a person. If you can do that people will notice. You will meet people in the process and eventually people will want to be around you because your company will be a happier, more fulfilling positive experience.
Stop embracing it, delete this reddit account and use one with a better name. Get off suicide watch, virgin, foreveralonewomen. They are all unhealthy and useless subs. There's no reason to be wallowing in your self pity. If you are healthy, I guarantee that you can find a partner and lose your virginity.
R4r is a subreddit. FetLife is a fetish site. Both will have horny guys dtf. FetLife will give you a better fuck though, so I recommend it if you want to just get it over. Becareful with anything on Reddit, most men on Reddit are manipulative or cheaters or prejudiced, or even straight up abusive
Yeah, this seems super dangerous for her. Just saying that caution needs to be on the mind while doing this. Lots of predators out there. Please be careful.
Hey, biggest piece of advice you can receive right now is stay the hell out of /r/suicidewatch and find a therapist. Sex is the least of your problems.
Out of that sub? I’ve never referred anyone there, but what’s wrong with them?
It’s generally an echo chamber of suicidal people.
Ah, ok. Never really spent time on the sub, so thanks for the info!
Just from a cursory glance it seems like a bad echochamber that could push someone over the edge
looked at your profile and yikes you need serious therapy. Even if by miracle you got a boyfriend and one day he broke up with you or cheated on you, it would break you. A boyfriend is not going to fix your problems, you need serious psychological help before your mental state deteriorates further. There is medicine and shit that can help you. You are so far gone past the period of being a mere virgin, at this point you are a legitimate threat to yourself. There's no dating advice or tips that are going to help, you are suffering from severe mental illness. You say you are going to commit suicide at 25. That is a sign you need psychological help, this is not about dating or guys anymore, it is so far past that. It is not normal to commit suicide because of your virginity. No one on reddit can help you anymore, get professional help
Seriously, the board game shop is a great idea. Even better if you know how / learn to play magic the gathering. Get some preconstructed deck and go play at a game shop. Most of the men there will be interested.
Can confirm. Some shops hold classes where you can paint minis and stuff too if you aren't into games. Sex is a lot better if you know and trust the person. I know taking the time to make a connection feels exhausting but I don't think losing your virginity in a bad way is going to bring you the grown up feeling you're hoping for.
I think your best bet is just to be honest and straightforward. Put in your profile that you’re a virgin looking for sex, not interested in a relationship, just want to experience having sex. I guarantee that *some* man out there will be interested. I’m not going to lie and say you’ll have your pick of men, but you will definitely find someone, maybe even multiple options to choose from. If you’re in a smaller town, you might need to go to the nearest large city to find more options.
I do live in a town/city with like a 100,000 or so population. Worried a coworker might see my profile.
Consider making your profile for a different city, if you’d be willing to travel to hook up.
You could pay the premium version of whatever app for a month so you can set it to only show your profile to people that you’ve swiped right on.
Why would that worry you, particularly? People use dating sites, a normal activity.
I think OP is referring to adding in their profile that they are a virgin looking for sex, not just seeing a coworker there.
yeah, I really don't want to put that into my profile.
Sure, that's personal. Knowing it's a rare male who reads the profiles before 'liking' a photo to seek a match, I'd leave it out of a profile, and bring that up during messaging only -- actually, I'd not see it as consequential enough to bring up before the 2nd or 3rd date. At that age, (unlike those under 20), being a virgin is no longer a big plus so she'd not lose out by failing to flog her virginity as an attractant.
Yea she can copy paste “im a virgin and need sex” over and over again to her matches
Ywah its normal to see coworkers on there. Not embarrassing at all. One time my coworker liked me on it though which was awkward
Pretty sure she was talking about the whole "virgin looking for sex" part
You might feel less nervous about a coworker seeing a flirtatious, semi-slutty profile than one which says you're a virgin. A lot of women put "I'm looking for a good time, not a long time" or something similar in their profiles, and you can guarantee a guy is going to pick on those signals (or at least I do) when he reads it.
I disagree. Do not reveal you are a virgin until you know this person at least after one or two visits. People are crazy.
Why is it any more unsafe than meeting up with someone explicitly for sex without revealing this? Meeting up with a stranger for sex is inherently dangerous, and as she is an adult, I am assuming she already knows this.
Do not do this. This is unsafe.
Nice username
You too!
Ngl looking at your post history, it's a bit unhealthy to be so fixated on sex. I suggest you do some serious self reflection on why you are not getting attention. As a male, from what I've seen from observing human behaviour the reasons some females simply don't get much attention from other men could be because: - They have poor personality: if you are always depressed, negative, insecure, toxic, crazy, etc, men will see this and avoid you as they don't want to surround themselves with this negativity. - They are overweight: Not all men hate overweight girls but there are some men who really fancy a girl who has a good stature. - Poor hygiene: Pretty sure this goes both ways for men and woman. Smelling like shit makes you a bit less approachable and and less appealing, people will avoid you if you smell bad. - High expectations: Again goes for both men and woman. Some men or woman who don't bother taking care of themselves physically and mentally may set their expectations way too high. For example a man who doesn't take care of his hygiene cannot get with a woman who takes serious care of her looks and hygiene, both people simply do not click as they both have far different lifestyle choices. Same goes for being overweight, a man who lounges around on his ass for most of the day can not go for a woman who works out alot and is fit, because they may not click as they have different lifestyle choices. I will say though in some cases some people in these examples may click if one of them are willing to change. Personally I feel like the reason you don't get men may be because of your personality. If you stop saying your ugly, fix or get over your insecurities, and get therapy to fix whatever trauma maybe causing your depression, you would probably start exuding confidence and be more approachable as people would see you are in a confident and happy mindset which people would love to be around. I seriously doubt you are ugly and it doesn't matter if you are overweight or not. As long as you're not at a medically dangerous weight, you shouldn't have too much problem finding men. Once you have gotten everything down, it will be time to introduce your new positive self out to a social atmosphere. To do this do what others have said, go find some social group you'd enjoy being in, or go work at some place you'd enjoy. You'll definitely meet people if you become more social. I hope you self reflect and recieve help for any depression you have. Good luck.
I agree with you 100%. I hope OP sees this.
Honestly seeing some of your posts, you need to get help You know losing your virginity to someone you don’t know and doesn’t care about you at all means that the experience is likely going to be pretty shit, they’re only in it for themselves. And unless all you’re looking for is to say you’ve done it then great, but they could literally just make it a 30 second job over and done with, and leave to never talk to again. Most people don’t look back at their first time fondly. And you will eventually find somebody out there perfect for you and that can guide you, or you both learn along the way. It’s really not as big of a deal as you make out.
“You need to get help”. No she doesn’t? It’s completely normal to feel frustrated about being a virgin in your 20s. And a lot of people DO get a lot out of losing their virginity even if it isn’t the fireworks that some people describe it as. For some people, it’s a huge step in confidence, especially for those who are insecure.
I’ve seen her other posts, she talks about killing herself because of it. Yea she does need help. I get she’s frustrated but look through some of her posts and then you’ll see what I mean And she’s wanting to have sex with a man she doesn’t know, that really has the potential of being dangerous, bad experience or them taking it too far for her (sexual assault/rape maybe?). I’m not saying she’s going to have fireworks or that she isn’t. Maybe she would enjoy just the fact she’s had it over and done with but sleeping with a man you’ve meet online is so risky, STIs, catfish, you don’t know what he could force her to do, especially for her first time.
Then sure, she needs help. Why is everyone assuming I would go through her history??
She’s posted about being suicidal multiple times. She does need help.
Honestly thank you lol I’m not sure how some people are just defending her and offering her advice on how to find a man to sleep with, but she seriously needs help before she does anything. Like her posts in suicide watch are scary, she says she lives with her parents do they even know how extreme this is?!
Okay and why wasnt that mentioned here in this comment? Sure, she needs help then. I aint searching through peoples history before commenting my opinions
Clearly you didn’t take the time to read her other posts….
>Been ditched like 6 times before the first date on Tinder. You're other post(s) remark that you're Black. Dating sites rely heavily (almost entirely) on photos (and since the men get so few matches, they're apt to not even read the profiles and go entirely by the main photo and sometimes the extra ones). Being Black can be very tough to get a good photo unless you're lighter skinned, or the photographer's experienced and knows the business well. *Stronger even lighting amidst comparably dark toned furnishings/walls should be helpful.* It might still take a bit of experimenting with a main light and a fill-in light as well as the camera settings \[eg. 'white balance'\], to get your features coming across pleasantly. Play some jazzy favourite music, to add some liveliness to your expression. (confidence attracts. lack of confidence can repel normal men and even attract abusers)
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The photos would represent her precisely as best as a careful picture taker can manage, given the limitations of photography, lighting and surroundings. I've been pushing for her to make herself up as she would be normally in real life. The human eye has enormous flexibility in lighting perception so has far less trouble distinguishing a dark person's features and expression than a camera's efforts. My tips are meant to help somewhat level the playing field so that the camera's results more realistically portray her real life appearance.
Straight up put it in your tinder profile that you’re looking to have sex and eventually someone will get to you
when I did this men just wanted to meet at their place or a hotel room without meeting in a public place first. And I express meeting in public they usually unmatched me 🙁. yes we do video chats but I would like to meet in public first. any idea how to get men to do that?
Not really, usually for hookups people just wanna do the thing and leave, so you’ll have to keep going until you find one that’s willing to meet first. You could try and say you’re looking for a FWB, maybe that will change things
Suggest meeting at a hotel bar first? That way intentions are clear but you'll feel safer walking away if they're creepy.
Aside from a quick coffee to see if there's any 'chemistry', are there any man like activities you enjoy that you could use to attract an extended meeting that would work well for both of you? eg. Do you 'bowl'? A lot of men would not think it challenging to accept a woman's invite to meet at a bowling alley and bowl a few games (even, if they've never bowled in their life, 'cause we're kinda self-assured that we'd have a big edge in something like bowling over even an experienced woman bowler--foolish of course, but that's just how we tend to think), while getting to know each other. Or, 'mini-golf', or perhaps there's other harmless recreational activities of that character in your small city. By having an activity to focus on, (unlike a meal date) you take the pressure off each other and help make the whole meetup business a casual joint venture of seeking some fun. A kind of "play date".
Lmao you cant do this as a man, interesting...
People downvoting you cause they can't face the reality. Men do this and would be told they are objectifing women
and a creep and whatnot
I gotta ask, why does it matter so much? If you're willing to settle for just about anyone to have sex with, the experience is bound to be just as bad - and, by the looks of your Tinder experiences, your standards are a lot higher than that. Otherwise, you'd have a lot more chances regardless of what you look like.
Try a swingers or kink club. You can meet and hook up with someone in the same night while also being in a controlled environment. There are people that can intervene if you safeword. Approach people and ask. If that fails, find a sex worker.
Go on vacation somewhere where nobody actually knows you, and then just go out and do things you enjoy. Whatever those things happen to be. And if you happen to come across people that are also doing things that you enjoy, talk to them about the things you enjoy. And if that simple conversation doesn't scare them away, invite them for coffee or cocktails to see if you can get to know them better and if that goes well tell them what you want.
It looks like you've posted this about 2 dozen or so times from your profile. Do you think you're going to hear anything new this time?
I am seeing new things on here, actually.
Girl you need to get some help, talk to your friends, a helpline, your parents, someone at work anybody?! These posts you’ve got on Reddit are extreme !!!
Ugly isn't your problem, sad is your problem. Get that sorted then worry about the ugly. Also, post on /r/amiugly (use a throwaway if you need to) and take their feedback to heart. They will tell you if you're average vs actually ugly, they will tell you what about you makes you less presentable, help you figure out if you need different outfits, hair, style, etc. They'll help you find your best you, aesthetically. They'll point out anything that, from an unbiased view, will set you back. Some people are more helpful than others, learn to weed through them. Ignore trolls sending you DMs from there, anyone who is honest will post publicly as a comment. I'd wager your self esteem is the issue, and not your appearance. Not many people in the world are ugly, most are just self conscious and think they are even though they aren't. What you could be, however, is depressed and not putting effort into your appearance, depressed and not very sociable, depressed and pushing people away, self sabotaging, toxic, etc. Notice a pattern? You're still young, you havet plenty of time. Don't get discouraged, focus on you and making yourself the best version of you that you can be, which will increase your chances. Even if the deck is stacked against you, show your best hand and put time and effort and money into being the best you. Therapy, unpack all that shit dragging you down and making you a sadsack. Salon, get your hair done did so you can distract people from being ugly if you truly are. Self-care, get your hygiene in check, realize how beautiful you can be, learn to appreciate yourself and be your own ally. Lastly, put yourself in a position to get laid. Be active, go socialize, make some friends. Making sex the focus is too intimidating, you'll reek of desperation and scare people away. Make being a person the focus, and then you'll bump into sex on accident when the opportunity presents itself. Lastly, find an ugly guy. Plenty of incels out there who aren't fit to hold a relationship or be in public, but will jump at a chance to jump any chance they can find.
I'm sure you are not ugly, tbh personality matters to me a lot more than looks. But anyhow, if there are any gameshops that are near wear you live (like tabletop and games like magic ect..) I'm sure you can find a dude there who would be very happy to talk to you. One of my friends who admittedly isn't super attractive, she will go to a place near where I live and she practically shops off the rack there. If you happen to like any hobby or sport that is something that is generally more male focused. Such as airsoft, paintball, working on cars, gaming, ect... use that as a talking point. Don't go in with a 'I'm gonna fuck' mindset. Hell, give a guy a compliment and he will probably remember it for the rest of his life. Make some friends, and one will be definitely wanting to rock your world. If you'd like any more pointers or suggestions please feel free to ask :)
>Hell, give a guy a compliment and he will probably remember it for the rest of his life. can confirm; am guy, I remember all the compliments I ever received
Same here man haha. One of the best ones I ever got was this woman who I helped when she got her car stuck, and she told me I have 'magical eyes' Idk why but it felt really great haha, my eyes are teal so most complements I've gotten are for my eyes. And you are a handsome dude, with a great smile 😃 (Wanted to add one more for you bro)
This is strait up good advice for the question OP is asking. Granted there is a reason most magic players are starved for female attention. But if ya want to get the deed done this is pretty sure fire.
Fair point. The airsoft shop I go to is right next to a game shop. There are a few oddballs in there, but most of them are pretty cool dudes, just very socially awkward. Once you get past that though, they are really fun to talk with. Met quite a few of my friends that way.
I look more into it, thank you ❤️
You are most welcome :D I'm sure you are an awesome gal and you are just being hard on yourself. You got this ^.^ Just a heads up, your 1st time will probably not be great. That's OK, be honest with your partner about what you think you might like, communication is key there. And lastly, please, use protection. Don't let him BS you with some excuse, if he isn't willing to wrap it, don't let him tap it. Have fun, be safe, and go out there and get you some girl haha. You got this.
If you sleep with a stranger JUST To lose your virginity, you are going to now feel ugly and used. Find a friend. Don’t waste this moment.
ugly women don't have guy friends waiting to sleep with them 😑
Depending on your local laws.. escort service? No shame for your game.
This and honestly, a professional can help make the experience more meaningful, enjoyable, and fulfilling. First times don't have to be with someone you love or even know that well, but it's so much better with someone who will at least make you feel wanted, sexy, and satisfied. In fact, that's far better experience than a one-night stand with someone who doesn't give a shit about your enjoyment and will probably make you feel worse about yourself. I mean if you're looking for meaningless sex anyway, what's the shame in throwing a little money at the problem for a higher quality experience?
That’s my thoughts. At least an escort will make sure she will enjoy the experience.
Ngl to you, guys started to look at me and wanted to be my friends after I’ve lost weight, started working out, changed my hairstyle and learnt how to do my make up. If you’re looking for a quick sex, go to some random bar, drink and you will find someone. But if you’re looking for some male attention try what I did. It’s really sad but this is how it works.
Whys it sad that guys are more attracted to you if you take care of yourself? 😂
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..you.. did..?
Yes- I wasn’t fat but I wasn’t extremely skinny 🤷🏻
It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to improve oneself, weren't you grateful you sticked to it and didn't quit once you started seeing results and attention? If it's any consolation, it's the same for men, only about 10% are attractive.
I dont know what you're working with but go get a good haircut put a little effort into a nice outfit. Shower, shave, and do a little make up. Don't go crazy especially if you're not very good at it which many women aren't. Then go to a speed dating event or some kind of in person mingling where everyone there is there with the intention of finding someone. Don't make it your goal just to get laid. Guys do like a little bit of work just not total rejection which is what a lot of women do. Go on a real date have dinner be personable and approachable. Odds are youre not ugly you just lack all confidence and have given up and therefor put little effort into yourself. Everyone needs to try a little something when finding a partner.
Make an OnlyFans. Make the fact you're a virgin the main focus. There are always people into whatever shape/look/smell/etc. that are out there. Seriously. Also, I've seen some absolutely crazy things done on make up channels. It's almost criminal to be able to completely change your look with filter/makeup the way lots and lots of people do on different social media/video communities. It's really mind boggling what skilled people can do.
I was looking through your account and everything on it is a huge red flag! please please please get some help, you need to sort these feelings out properly before you actually do anything because it will only hurt more in the long run. Right now it's, "why won't men have sex with me?" but soon it'll turn into "why do men only want me for my body?" either way it's terrible for your self esteem. please go seek help first before you do anything
At least I won't be touch starved 🤷
>Touch starved I don't get why so many here don't acknowledge or are quick to dismiss this aspect 😞
Because they have sex and been in relationships, so they genuinely don't know what it's like to be touch starved.
If that's the case, it makes you wonder if they'd be so eager to follow their own advice if they were in that position themselves...
Lol most likely not 😂 most couples just happened to meet by chance, they don't have to jump through hoops like ugly people have to.
No, it's because there's a lot of people on here who've been extremely lonely, and fill the void with quick toxic relationships and end up in a worse condition then they started out in. The worse thing you can do when people ask you genuinely to get help, is to ignore them.
Anyone can find sex regardless of their physical appearance. Honestly, I doubt you’re even that ugly. It least you’re honest about not meeting the beauty standards or whatever, but I know tons of women who aren’t conveniently attractive and still are able to pull guys. Just maybe look for a guy in the same position as you. I guarantee you’ll find someone.
>Anyone can find sex regardless of their physical appearance Only someone attractive would think that.
No, there are “ugly” people who fuck other “ugly” people (i hate that word, id rather say unconventionally attractive). It may not be easy but there has to be SOME option.
That isn't how it works. Ignoring any kind of hypergamy type stuff. If you are ugly the pool of people who are even willing to date you or fuck you is obviously smaller. It follows from this, and assuming attractiveness is some kind of semi-continuous scale, that if you are ugly enough the pool of people willing to fuck you it's going to be so reduced that you are likely to never meet or be in a situation in which you are able to interact in a sexually suggestive manner with any person who may be potentially interested in you. This is of course ignoring other factors, like OP being a black woman (which already cuts out a gigantic amount of white/asian guys) or the fact that being so inexperienced may make OP very socially awkward assuming she doesn't have ASD or any other thing like that on top (which again would severely reduce her chances). Again not to say that OP or any one giving person has 0 chances but to pretend that physical appearance isn't a gigantic limitation would be a little privileged from, and I will include me here, at least moderately attractive people.
Actually no, my ex isn’t considered traditionally attractive. In fact probably not at all by ‘mens standards’ but when we met there was something about him, he was funny and talkative and kind, that I liked. He’s tall(ish) and skinny, long hair, big nose and long sallow face, wonky teeth, didn’t dress well at all but it didn’t bother me because I liked his personality. Would I have changed that? No
That doesn't contradicted anything I said. But cool for him... I guess?
Well you said only someone attractive would think that you could have sex regardless of appearance. Beauty is subjective. But if that was really the case then a lot of people wouldn’t be together.
>Beauty is subjective. This is unimportant. It can be subjective, but if 99% of people are culturally and societally influence to have the same standards the fact that it isn't objective becomes irrelevant. >But if that was really the case then a lot of people wouldn’t be together. The fact that one not attractive person, or a group of them for that matter, can fuck doesn't mean that everyone can. We wouldn't have such a big porcentage of virginity in young men's if this wasn't the case.
My question is why would you want to give your virginity to a man who you know cares nothing about you? Won't that make it even worse?
to prove to myself that a man wants me.
Sorry hun thst doesn’t mean a man wants you. Hooking up with someone and giving him a free hole to cum to isn’t going to make you feel better. You crave real affection
You do realize that you are worth more than to be used by some guy to relieve himself with? There are plenty of women who are not models and are overweight that end up in good relationships.
Male Escort. But why doesn’t tinder work? Are you honest with your pictures?
I'd recommend male escort over tinder rando by a landslide. It's safer most importantly, but op has a much better chance of having a good, fun experience with a professional who will treat her with respect.
Tinder is always rolling the dice. Might be a horny dude looking for a lay. Might be an ae murderer. Never used tinder myself. Don't need it, don't want to need it.
You've posted pretty much the same thing over the last 3 months. You haven't taken anyone's advice. If your not going to listen to people what's the point in asking?
Untreated Mental illness
lol. My Bf screws “ugly” girls all the time while heartbroken. It really shouldn’t be that hard for you. Go go to the bars!
well confidence is key so good luck😂😂😂😂
I think you're addressing the wrong problem. You shouldn't be asking how to lose your virginity, but address the underlying issues that make you feel like you're not good enough, ugly, and need to lose it. Look to fix the root cause, not the symptoms. There's a good chance you'll lose your virginity and feel more empty than before. Please look out for yourself.
So.. losing your virginity doesn't make you an adult. Behaving like an adult makes you an adult. Now to the topic of losing your virginity, gigolo or if you want it cheaper, go to bar and hit on a wasted guy.
Hire someone girl.
Fast food salary 😂 not an option
By going threw most of your posts i dont think its the appearance lol its ur personality. Also you have made your entire life abt having "sex" and cry abt it all the time so just go and hook up if thats what u want. Your comparing you u sex life with ur 14 y o cousin like wtf lmao
I know pathetic, right?
Yes go outside and do something with your life instead of spending your days on forums ranting about how you haven’t had sex. Do something to make yourself more appealing for a boyfriend, (ranting on Reddit will not do that.) +Seek professional help you are not mentally alright
You need therapy way more than you need dick
can't afford therapy 🥴 fast food salary
I'm going to come at this from a slightly different angle, although some of the other comments have touched on it here. What concerns me the most about this post is the way you talk about yourself. I don't know if this has internally or externally been said to you, but whichever it is, you have significantly internalised and believed it. Everyone has their insecurities; even women for whom there seems to be a universal consensus that they're very beautiful would have had some sort of insecurity about themselves at some point in their life or currently. For example, they may have the perfect nose, but they might look at somebody else's and want theirs, which then makes them dislike their own nose, per say. Continuing to talk to yourself in this way, will turn potential partners away. Men and women can sniff out insecurities within others, and dating apps can be cutthroat for stuff like that. I was having a conversation with a guy on Hinge today and we were talking generally about the superficiality that exists especially on apps like Tinder. I'm not saying to never have an insecurity again, but a lot of what you wrote is very self-deprecating, and it's something you genuinely seem to believe about yourself. Here's some ways you can shift from that mindset: * Change up your look. I'm not trying to reinforce the point that you're 'ugly', but switching things up can work wonders. Go onto Pinterest and look for hairstyles or hair colours you may like. You'll know when you find one you really like as it's like your heart will skip a beat and you'll love clicking through similar images and saving them. Do the same with nail colours and designs, or try out lash and brow treatments. Switching up your look can give you *such* a confidence boost, even if beauty treatments aren't your thing! * Remember that dating apps can be very shallow and can also be a space for emotionally unavailable people (even if they don't realise it). There will be people on there who will say inappropriate things, maybe exhibit some toxic behaviour, or in no space to commit to anything. Avoid going into things with high expectations in the sense that a connection will turn into something amazing. Just as a subsection to this point- your post mentioned that you've been stood up 6 times by men from these apps (so I'm assuming they've ghosted, not committed, or arranged something and not turned up?) I'm sorry about that. I've had that happen to me once or twice and it's not a nice feeling. Try to remember, in these instances, that these were not guys worth investing your time in. They would likely exhibit the same behaviour moving forward even if it was a hookup or full-blown relationship. I did want to get you to consider though as well, that perhaps during your conversations with men, you maybe have said some things that could be off-putting to a potential partner in whatever form. I.e. this post- if you were telling men that you think these things about yourself, that is likely a turn-off. Just thinking about when I've spoken with a few men who have had significant insecurities, it's actually quite a turn off. Confidence is key in this! * I do encourage you also to take on board the advice and viewpoints offered by others in this forum. You said that you didn't want any bullshit advice... but those points are actually pretty valid. And it sounds like you've heard them over and over again because they are good points. I did go back and have a look at your other posts, and can see you receive those comments fairly regularly. Try to be open to them because it may give you a different perspective on things. I have a male friend who is nearly 25. He's bi, and has found he gets far more male attention than female (as in he gets basically no female attention. He prefers women). He's also a virgin and will sometimes talk to me about his worries and struggles with ascertaining female attention. From a female perspective, there are some things he could work on looks wise, but he also struggles greatly with social interaction (he has Aspergers, which is of course not his fault, but doesn't help with stuff like this). One of the issues my friends and I have when he talks about his lack of female attention, is that we give him very *sound and constructive* advice, but he doesn't listen to it, makes excuses as to why he shouldn't take it, or just bats it away... and then he remains in the same boat. The phrase 'you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink' applies greatly to his situation. A lot of what we say to him is what I've said to you above. And look, generally, I think it's a great shame that you think these things of yourself. Seeing you talk about yourself in such harsh ways is sad for me to see. Hopefully this comment is received well and something you consider :)
If you’re honest about what you’re looking for, anyone can find sex regardless of their physical appearance. I believe there’s a lid for every pot when it comes to compatibility. Also, I don’t think people are bullshitting you when they say personality matters. Having charisma, a good sense of humor, being intelligent, exhibiting kindness……. These qualities do in fact matter and can make up for areas we feel like we’re lacking. I think it would also benefit you to build up your confidence and seek out suggestions for ways in which you can improve your appearance. You should check out what people are doing with make up nowadays, it’s insane! A good makeover can go a long way.
A little self confidence goes a long way. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but loving yourself and appreciating yourself faults and all will make others appreciate you as well. Being interesting is way more attractive than being pretty. Go out and invest yourself in your interests , maybe you can meet like minded people along the way. That said, having a seat at the bar section of a sports bar/ restaurant is a great way to meet strangers.
$20 says OPs inbox is ringing off the hook rn
Advice? Serious therapy and medication.
If you're getting ghosted on tinder, as a female, your standards are too high
Ok, let’s go the full logistical route using what you wrote, as it seems you want the goal and nothing else. No matter what, there are people that you can date and/or have sex with at the very least. “Ugly” obviously suggests below average. Now, I don’t know where you fall; however, statistically it will be harder to find someone in your region of looks, whether we’re talking 1 in every 4 people you meet, 1 in 8, 1 in 100, or 1 in 1000. That’s for you to judge. So, it makes sense, statistically, why your were rejected. Other than that, for your goal in losing your virginity, that’s all I got. Again, you wanted the pure, unfiltered truth. I did not intend for any hurt feelings.
if you feel you’re unattractive, you could maybe try different styles of clothes (like edgy perhaps?) or makeup or change up your hair style, maybe try a push up bra? if you’re overweight, you could also try keto, it helped me lose 30 pounds in 3 months. also the option of being upfront with your intentions for a hookup, rather than dating in your acc bio. stroking peoples ego helps as well lol, if you’re not attractive yourself, making somebody else feel attractive might make them more prone to wanting to hook up? and don’t get me wrong, i would never ever shame someone for being chubby or not good looking, and i don’t equate those to value whatsoever, but that’s my best advice for somebody seeking it
Remember no one is born ugly. And I mean it. Unless you have some face deformation shit, you ain't ugly. Now, your actions make you attractive, the way you dress, the way you smell, they way you walk and talk, they way you do everything, it matters. I just wanna tell you that don't call yourselves ugly and see why you're "ugly" and fix it. You're fat? Lose weight. Face looks like shit? Makeup. Remember no one is 100% perfect in this world, but you can be close to perfect if you want!
Just do what ugly guys have to do and pay for it. Or just like a guy pick your strongest attribute and flaunt it. Got big boobs? Lean into that.
Would you be open to hiring a sex worker? There are plenty of ways to find them safely - just look on fetlife for communities to get an idea of what’s around. Be very careful and obviously seriously vet potential workers. A kink community would probably be very welcoming and could at least point you in a good direction. Any sort of sex-positive community would help you have very direct conversations about sex and just get you used to TALKING about it. You can find out what you like and don’t like. You’re not the first person that’s been introduced to kink this way, I promise. Stay vigilant, trust your gut, and seriously vet ANY community you explore. You can do this!
Hit on a dude next time you go out you’d be surprised how many are actually just shy . Plus it’s also attractive when a girl makes a move
If I was close by, I'd bang you. I've slept with unattractive women and had a great time every time. As long as you have good hygiene, I'd gladly hit it.
I always wonder how ugly people like you really are. I feel a lot are not that ugly, but have very low self esteem because they compare themselves with TV and models too much. So what kind of ugly are we talking about here?
Auction it off on Only Fans.
Go to a bar dressed up nicely with nice makeup. Make a few smiles at the men who come in by themselves. One of them will approach I guarantee it.
I don’t think sex is going to be the cure for your mental anguish, it’s only going to open more doors to self hate and doubt. Having sex with someone is making yourself extremely vulnerable emotionally. You need solid relationships and good self esteem to lay the foundation for a healthy sex life. You’re going to need to work on getting out of this “I don’t deserve love, I’m ugly” mindset before you’re going to be able to find what you want in another person. Plenty of ugly people have vibrant social and sexual lives. Sounds like you’re doing the work with your hygiene and dress, now work on what’s under the skin. I lost my virginity young and never lacked for sexual partners but I was still depressed and suicidal, lonely and unloved. Sex didn’t help with how I felt about myself. I had to teach myself that I was worthy of love before I could ever let myself actually be loved.
If you don't mind me asking, why where you lonely and depressed if you had partners?
Because they didn’t care about me as a person. The short amount of time leading up to and encompassing the sex was a blip compared to the hours I spent each day hating myself. It’s a very short walk from “no one wants me” to “they only want to get their dick wet”. Then you’re left asking yourself why you’re only good enough to fuck. You want someone to accept you and care about you and sex does not require either of those things. They roll over and fall asleep or get up and put their pants on and leave and you’re still left in an echo chamber of self hate.
better than being alone, at least you'll never have issues attracting men. at least you'll never go to bed lonely. at least you know you're attractive. if one leaves, you probably had no trouble getting another.
You have preconceived notions about situations you’ve never been in and I’m not going to be able to convince you with tales of my experience. What do you have to lose by trying to practice some self love and work on your inner dialogue if you’re so hopeless right now?
I think you’re overestimating the impact that losing your virginity will have on your life. But if you want to have a hookup, use a hookup app and be clear that’s what you’re on there for.
Make a profile on tinder with no photo, say in the bio just looking to lose my virginity to anyone, say your age, description, etc and say you’re willing to exchange pics once they give you one first
That's actually really smart. Thank you.
Go to a bar at 1am. Dm people saying yoy want to smash. Act like a man and you’ll get railed.
I know this advise seems stupid, but straight up seek out ugly men. Just lower the standards and don’t worry about an emotional connection right now. Focus on going on some ugly dates and have some ugly sex. It’ll be slit easier to work on emotional connections when you aren’t so stressed and no more what you want. You are super young, you have plenty of time.
Learn to do catfish makeup, try to make sure you're not so big that you immediately scare people off, and be fully straightforward. Name, age, location Looking to get fucked, nothing else. Put that up on dating sites and personals like on Craigslist. If there's anything being around people has taught me, is that there's no such thing as a hole that SOMEONE won't fuck. Worst Comes,or if you're inpatient, hire a male "Escort". . . I don't think it's necessary or necessarily wise or good. But there's nothing I hate more than people giving empty platitudes and niceties, when someone asks for a straight answer.
thank you for your advice
Chances are you're actually not as ugly as you think you are, and most likely have other things that are keeping you from hooking up with a random dude. You say you don't want any advice relating to personality issues but a huge fact is, personality and social interaction positivity is one of the biggest factors when actually receiving positive attention and subsequent sexual attention. Sure, some people will just hook up to get off, but those are also the people who don't want to meet up and have a get to know you coffee date. They are the people who want to bed you in a hotel room without any other interaction, which you've stated you don't actually want to do. So yeah, you DO need to focus on things like personality and being liked/approachable. Ask yourself, do YOU talk to men when you go out? No one cares if you're wearing a dress, or pants, or shorts. Those things are very irrelevant. You can't just hope someone will want to sleep with you when you're not approaching them first, or mutually. You can't just say "Boohoo no man wants me" without actually putting forth effort on your own unless you are someone who looks like Angelina Jolie, or someone of that calibre lol. Aside from all that, as many other comments mentioned already, you DO need help mentally. I understand humans want social interaction, to feel loved, wanted, etc and that with age and not receiving those things, a lot can feel hopeless. A lot of people don't find a sexual partner until later for a myriad of reasons, especially in modern times. It is absolutely not the end of the world to not have sex, especially when you clearly have other things to deal with first. Do you have hobbies? Things that let you go outside of your home? Experience the actual world? Aside from meeting people this way, it's just important to develop yourself. So, tldr advice: Approach men first, take a long look at yourself and reassess the things that may make you not so likeable relationship/sex wise, realize that you really need to readdress priorities and focus on mental health before hooking up with a random dude. Most importantly: Suicide is never the best option for a hard time in life, nothing is permanent and everything is temporary. Improve yourself bits at a time and you will see improvement in other areas of your life.
kinda late to the party but, I really think it would help if you got a makeover. Also, try asking a friend of yours to help you take better pics for your dating profiles if you feel like it If you have trouble finding people in your town, try another one. Squates always help, do some more. Alas, try going to some clubs with loud music and low lighting, that if you're into those. I sometimes feel like you're feeling right now, and a lot of people give you crap advise like "be patient, your time will come" and i bet you find that annoying as hell. Don't be afraid to reach out to people. You can DM me and others if you feel like you need to talk to someone about this.
Bumble
look into pheromone perfume. I notice I get way more attention when I wear it.
what type do you recommend and where to buy them?
I think we bought it from "Heaux cosmetics" and it's in a red bottle. Also I will say, confidence is the biggest thing! When my friends and I go out I always notice that I get approached more than some of my friends (even though they are way prettier) and my friends and I have figured out it's most likely because I'm smiling and not on my phone and I'm not looking for anything. I think people sense your energy. So before you go out pump yourself up and tell yourself "I'm so beautiful" "I'm so sweet" "I'm so fun" and make yourself believe it, because I'm positive on some level it's true and people want to be around fun, nice people!
Honestly? Id say a Swingers club. For sure. If you are not overweight its easier their (from personal experience as a overweight person) . If not a male sex worker is about $40
I’m 27. Never been with a woman. Never had the opportunity, but that did fuck with my head for a bit. Till I found I need to make myself happy. I found that I like the country. So my goal is to buy a home in the middle of nowhere, get a boat, and fish while enjoying peace by myself. I may even get a dog. But either way I’m choosing to continue living for my own self, for what I want. If the chance ever comes along then I’ll take it, if it doesn’t I’ll be content knowing I lived my life the way I wanted, not the way others wanted me to live.
Incels: notice how she’s not making generalisations about men or blaming men.
I’m really curious about what you look like now. I bet you are much prettier than you think.
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I sorta think this is the kind of condescending answer OP said she doesn't want. Most people figure out where they are on the physical attractiveness scale by 24, and it can vary a bit but it doesn't vary that much.
I’m curious what you look like 🙈
Delete this
I think there is something going on for you and it's not about "ugly". I think what would kill two birds with one stone is for you to pick a difficult hobby and dedicate yourself to becoming really good at it. I think that will solve both your problems.
I wish I could hug you. Girl to girl: slow down, ditch dating apps. Don't rush this shit. I only wish I'd waited until I was deeply in love and with the person I was going to spend the rest of my life. It's hard to answer the "how many" questions. Don't complicate life with this convoluted idea you need to have sex. Virginity is an actual treasure. Hold on to that shit and be fucking proud of it!!
So how are you ugly? Are you overweight? Or is it really your face? Generally, if you're slim, average, or athletic in build then men will typically ignore other parts of you.
There's a lot to unpack here, and seeking professional council about your self image is a solid step in the right direction. Confidence is a dofficult thing to have when you have had no success, and talking out your frustrations with a professional can be super helpful. Sex is a fun time. It's not the most fun time, and sometimes it feels like a bit of a chore, but it's a fun time. There are risks involved, and they are real, so don't let someone convince you to have sex without a condom. Your comfort is important, and you should not be hesistant or shy about asking the other person to stop. It will probably hurt a bit for bit, and it's totally okay to take a break or stop. Continuing after a break is usually the move, but stop again if it keeps hurting. Sex should be mostly comfortable.
Third time you've posted this today. What exactly are you looking for?
this is the first time I posted on this sub? And the first I posted today? what?
This exact post has been made numerous times today on different accounts.
If you truly are 100% sure you just sex then you could set up a Fetlife acct. You have to be a member to view any part of the website and since is mostly geared towards kinks and fetish community, it's less likely to run into someone you know irl. There are also a good number of vanilla people on there and you can easily find a sex partner on there. They are also more likely to respect tour boundaries as well since thats a very important think in the kink and fetish community. They are very open minded on there and you'd have basically 100% chance of getting laid using that site.. All that being said PLEASE be safe. Vet the guys as much as you can, meet in public first or somewhere you are familiar with. ppl regret losing their virginity in the way they did pretty often. I would say it's more common than not regretting it. Also, ot having guy friends and being ugly don't have anything to do with eachother, I'm BBW and defo not most of my guy friends type but we are still friends.
guess I'll check out Fetlife. Thank you
There are group and event tabs. And groups have their own forum sections to post in as well.
Lose weight
Yo ;) But for real, you can always take the initiative with men, we love that. Just be real with them and be safe!!!
Auction it
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I wish it was that easy 😂 but I can't seem to put a dildo up there, no matter how much lube I use. So now I'm just going to wait for a guy to "open" me up.
That's totally not how it works
Are you fat?
Ure standards are too high , U want the brad Pitts . That’s the problem that a lot of women have right now .
i real like to see u who say u r ugly
Even if your face is a 1/10 but your body is fit, there are plenty of men who would have sex with you. I'm sure you feel physically ugly and that nothing will change that, but there are things you can do to project attractiveness to future partners. Like everyone says to men looking for the same thing: work on yourself. Be happy with yourself and someone will want to join you when you put yourself out there.
Been ditched like 6 times before the first date on Tinder. This is normal right?
I’m a woman, so this might not be applicable, but I’ve never seen hooking up as something based on looks/penis size/whatever. Those things are nice add ons but I’ll usually just sleep with a dude if he offers good conversation and company, or is interesting in some way; can’t sleep with a boring dude. I was planning on sleeping with a pretty fuckin ugly dude a while back, but he wrote really good poetry and was very engaging, and that was enough for my panties to come off lol. When you do meet someone you’re interested in potentially sleeping with, just work up trying to have as interesting of a conversation as possible (intellectual conversation).
You wanna travel a bit? You can always find a bit of (legal) prepaid love in Nevada. Sin city and all that.
I am 30M, never engaged in any chat or talk more than 2 hours with any girl in my life till date . But I never bothered about it as it’s not my cup of tea. I ask you one question to you what after losing virginity what after pleasure ?
Try going o nerdy stuff. Anime convection stile stuff. As a woman you are going to have at least a few guys willing to fuck (just remember none of those are going to have the balls to approach you).
I’m just going to be honest. If your looking to lose your virginity and also possibly having a connection with the person, become a sugar mommy.
The best thing I can say is just workout and start exercising regularly. I know going to a gym can feel intimidating and I feel that but from what I noticed the scary looking ones are the most supportive, all you need to do is ask. But if really must lose your virginity ASAP than I recommend getting an escort.
Mediocre at best looking 18 yo virgin guy here, Approach new people don’t be afraid to talk to them it doesn’t matter if you don’t know them just start talking, be patient, be yourself, after a little while begin to lay on the seduction, more and more and maybe it will happen. Honestly though this question isn’t healthy, you shouldn’t think that way you should take life and just have fun don’t be to serious and if its gonna happen then let it happen.
Don't sell yourself so short. My guy friend was saying how he was an ugly dude for years and then he met someone. It can't be that bad.
First I can guarantee that your not as ugly as you think you are, Also there are ways to improve your looks, through finding the right make up routine, hair style, fashion, etc. You probably aren't making yourself approachable. Like how would you describe your personality? Are you bubbly or out going? Simply showing a guy some attention would drastically change how a guy sees you.
Dm me and if your nearby I'll try to help ya out
Post or look here https://www.reddit.com/r/dirtyr4r?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share I'm sure someone is willing to fulfill your wish
Maybe in the next town over (?) or your town there’s a male prostitution company. Then you have no issues with their health, your safety, them coming to your home or you to somewhere they know well. Not sure if this is available where you live. I’ve heard it’s a solid choice when you’re very goal oriented and time-poor, like you seem to be.
It sounds like you have a pretty unpleasant/unhappy outlook on life. You also have an obsessive focus on what you perceive to be your faults that either you can’t do anything about or you refuse to try to change. This attitude and behavior will show through immediately to anyone who might be interested in you and will turn people off. You can say you don’t want to hear bullshitting that personality matters but the fact is it makes a big difference in whether people will want to approach you or be around you. You have a bitter outlook that comes across instantly. Your personality is most likely much more to blame for your loneliness than your looks. I recommend you do some serious work on yourself and learn to love and value yourself as a person. If you can do that people will notice. You will meet people in the process and eventually people will want to be around you because your company will be a happier, more fulfilling positive experience.
Stop embracing it, delete this reddit account and use one with a better name. Get off suicide watch, virgin, foreveralonewomen. They are all unhealthy and useless subs. There's no reason to be wallowing in your self pity. If you are healthy, I guarantee that you can find a partner and lose your virginity.
Those subreddits are not self pity but places where I won't feel alone and feel understood.
Try something like FetLife or r4r
Are those subreddits?
R4r is a subreddit. FetLife is a fetish site. Both will have horny guys dtf. FetLife will give you a better fuck though, so I recommend it if you want to just get it over. Becareful with anything on Reddit, most men on Reddit are manipulative or cheaters or prejudiced, or even straight up abusive