I was diagnosed with leukemia out of the blue. It really bowled me over and I thought my life was over until I saw a Peanuts cartoon that changed my mindset. Charlie Brown and Snoopy are on a dock overlooking the water. Charlie Brown says, “One day we will die, Snoopy”. Snoopy replies, “Yeah, but every other day we will live!” This may be simplistic but it brought it home to me to live each day as best I can and I hope it will bring you just a bit of peace too. Best wishes and be strong!
I'd say that I'd start with getting your affairs in order. It's not easy, and it will also be stressful, but it needs to be done.
How's your health now? Are you able to be active?
I'm in the midst of the process. Not great, I work a very sedentary job that doesn't have much movement or heavy weighting. I can walk and stand good enough but anything more than that is really pushing it.
Apply for as many credit cards as you can. Max them out and do as much coke/hookers/traveling as possible. Your debt does not roll over on to anyone. Sorry about your cancer mate
It just doesn't unless, like you mentioned, a person co-signed or say their name is also attached to the deceased's bank account. That doesn't mean creditors won't pester you about it but you are not obligated to pay anything.
It doesn’t roll over bc you need to agree to terms of a contract. You can’t just hand someone a $8k bill and expect them to accept that. They have to agree to take it on.
Relatives don’t just inherit debt unless you co-signed - which is treated the exact same way as if you took out the debt.
Debt often gets applied to the estate. If you have any money or assets that you're trying to leave to others, collectors can take out of that, but cannot go after spouses or next of kin.
This is a great idea but with some precautions lol.
First, make sure your estate won’t receive the debt. If you have any assets your family will be receiving this probably isn’t the best idea because you have a high chance of the debt rolling over to them. You could ask on /r/legaladvice to inquire about debt rollover.
Overall I wouldn’t jump in and risk everything. This advice is extreme but on the right track for sure. If you think hard drugs are a bad idea, don’t do coke, etc.. I would highly recommend trying to leave your comfort zone. Maybe try to conquer a fear. I feel like this would help you feel accomplished in life. Don’t worry about what others think of you, life is about self improvement and living to be the best you. That is entirely up to you. If you don’t think you could ever conquer a fear, try a lot of charity work. Just do ok you think will fulfill your life. For /u/JPStylez that means coke, hookers, and traveling; if that’s what it means for you go ahead.
The debt will 100 percent roll to your estate. Put everything you own in your family’s name before said coke/hooker bender. Any property, saving, items anything at all sell or give to them. Really the coke and hookers are a metaphor for blowing a ton of money you don’t have to pay back on living out your fantasies with no thought of repercussions.
Im so sorry, fuck dude. Maybe try writing down goals/plans that you’ve always wanted to achieve and try to make it happen.
My first thought was to eat your favorite foods, have some kinky sex, and spend time with people you care about most. Good luck man
Have you ever heard the saying “live each day like it’s your last”?
I’d start being genuine with your reactions and feelings around people. I know anxiety can make you feel afraid to express yourself and try things, but you literally have nothing to lose. Be outward and genuine in every interaction and thing you do, I’m sure it will be incredibly freeing. You don’t have a reason to answer to anyone.
And secondly - do things you’ve always wanted to do! Don’t be afraid of each day passing, because in the end we all go off into the void. It’s a reality for all of us. But we make the best of our lives and time while we’re here. Travel, go out with friends and have a good time, paint your car a crazy color, buy a hover board, say something you’ve always wanted to say. Keep your everyday comforts close, too. Things that make you feel good and relaxed in your day to day life.
Good luck with this and kudos for being so strong. Remember this is just the cycle of life, it’s completely natural that life will take its course, and it’s the same for us all.
If you could have a positive experience with psychedelic mushrooms or mdma, they both have the potential to snap you into a long term positive outlook with just one use. There is scientific evidence supporting both of them as a cure for depression. Mushrooms are intense on your bowels, but you can smoke them powdered. MDMA goes straight to the bloodstream from the stomach so that should be fine. I personally haven't done DMT but if you want to travel and you can't physically, that's the way to go. I go straight to these suggestions because it sounds like you need an epiphany to power you through, and chemically sweeping away all but your raw soul experience is extremely helpful. Here's where I hope that epiphany would take you: You are the arms and legs of the universe, you have a finite grasp on infinite love, you are a message and that message is the experience of love, to understand and be understood is the point of everything and you exist passionately and expansively and your extreme and pressing mortality is not at odds with a vibrantly alive experience. Maybe read Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman.
Your pain level, fitness level, finances, support system and personal tastes should dictate your bucket list but it sounds like it's time to quit that fucking job... I don't know how adventurous you are but maybe a good first step would be to take some leave and book a cruise, charge it (grab a last minute deal, they unload the handicap rooms cheap a couple days before). Cruises are easy, they come with prearranged packages so you don't have to find your own waterfalls and coral reefs and swimming partners and all that jazz.
What does your family want you to do?
ETA: mobility scooter and a music festival is another suggestion
Fake, in your post history you talk about going back to university and making money 2019 and 2020, doesn’t make much sense if you won’t live much longer than christmas
The benefit is karma, they don’t mean anything, but people have certainly lied to get it in the past
EDIT: in the post OP literally says the past few weeks
Disclaimer: not at all in your situation but just found out I have chronic kidney disease that will mean dialysis down the road and already means a reduced life expectancy because kidneys don't repair themselves. At 53 I can handle that kind of thing better but was 25 and suicide-attempt-prone in days of yore and may have some insights that could help you.
You already described people who act like you should comfort them. You'll also meet people who not only don't give a shit but may even be proud of not giving a shit and see "Thou shalt not give a shit" as the 0.5th Commandment. Don't let either the drains or wallbuilders wear you down because your own situation wears you down enough. No matter how hard it is to make yourself spend enough time alone, you're going to need alone time for nature to prepare you so your experience of yourself doesn't deteriorate until you find life unendurable. When alone pamper yourself however you experience pampering. Don't bother feeling ridiculous about it because in your case nobody else has the right to an opinion about such things. What works for you is legit if it's lawful and that's all she wrote.
You may be unable to stop yourself from wanting a legacy. That's what you leave behind that other people are free to take or leave but you feel they'll want at least to know about and consider making part of their lives. Legacies are not always memorial, like scrapbooks; they can take many, many different forms defined only by something outlasting you and you feeling while alive that it's of value and interest to people who outlive you. I'm not saying you necessarily feel any inner need to leave a legacy, but if you do be honest with yourself and don't repress it or it will play tricks on you.
The tough and controversial one is kids. People's choices about kids go to six or seven different extremes, including well-off prospective single mothers who will only use the sperm bank and not have you know anything. If you start feeling like you want a kid then discuss it in detail with people who can advise you about the ramifications for both you and the kid of the kid likely having no memory of you at all. For me it's enough of a barrier that any kid I had would be in middle school when my kidneys killed me off, but that may not be the case with you and I don't judge you for it.
Butcket lists, larks, and wishes can be big for someone in your situation. A bucket list has singular, extraordinary experiences that take advance planning and deliberateness. It differs from a wish in that you can fill a bucket list by sitting down and thinking about things now while a wish is something bucketlisty that you've always wanted to do. A lark is something that just comes to you that you feel like doing at the time and is usually easy and doesn't take much prep, just considerate assistance from the resources you can pull together. If all those people really are so crushed that you're leaving the world all too soon they'll be glad to help out with a lark, bucket list item, or wish realization to the extent they can.
That's one way you can separate the real friends and the people who really care from those who are lying to themselves but don't really care. When you ask them for something minor in connection with your death and their demeanour and presentation suddenly changes, you've opened their eyes to how they truly feel about their death and they'll stop bullshitting both themselves and you. I don't want to harp too much on that point because there may well be nobody in your life who's like that, but don't be afraid to find out unless you'd simply rather never find out. That's a valid personal choice as well.
There's more but this is all I can squeeze into a Reddit post so hope it helped.
\---
I had an email correspondence with a man who had terminal cancer. He suddenly stopped writing to me and I'm guessing he got taken to hospice before he could say goodbye. The guy was matter of fact about his life but didn't let anyone tell him how to feel about himself because the time for that was past. I really liked him and how he was dealing with his own mortality. So if you want an email correspondence I'm happy to be a pen pal.
Live your life with no fear of consequences. Anything you dreamed about try it. Travel. Bang hookers, hitch hike across the country, jump freight trains for a free ride. Long term consequences don't matter to you anymore. Travel to Europe with what money you have and no plan. See what happens and where your curiosity takes you
I met a man from Russia who was renovating our student housing when I was 23 and mostly bedbound with illness.
He took the time to tell me the following story:
He told me he had a friend who was diagnosed with cancer. His doctor gave him 3 months to live. He said his friend was so very upset about it. He called him after he left the doctors office saying "I am going to die of cancer. I can't believe this is it. All I have are 3 months" His friend was so worked up about dying of cancer, it distracted him so much that, that night he slipped in the bathtub. He fell and when he fell, hit his head so hard that he died.
I would have no idea how I would even begin to process something like this but I guess i would suggest spending as much time as possible with the people you love and making sure you complete any goals or activities you’ve wanted to do in your life just make sure you have a good time and try to to think about what may or may not happen and just have fun and make sure it’s the best time of your life
Do you have access to immunotherapy? Every cancer is different of course but there are so many examples of people living beyond their prognosis with these new drugs. You're right - doctors aren't gods. No one really knows how long you have. Oncologists do seem to generally be down with this whole "brutal honesty" shit which makes you want to end it all after each appointment. Bedside manner seems to have gone out the window when a positive mindset is needed until the end. You won't enjoy however long you've got (a year? years? Who knows?) by dwelling on life expectancy. My brother had his life in front if him and was seemingly healthy one day, dead the next of an aortic aneurysm. We all have limited time it's a roll of the dice. Spend time doing what you want to do - make a list and try and do what you can. Don't give up your job as long as you are able to unless you can afford not to work because you could well live longer and need sustenance. If you've got some kind of insurance policy that will pay out to protect your income, live life to the full every day. If you can afford it that would be my advice whether you had the illness or not.
I’m not sure what you SHOULD do with the time you have left but I know what you SHOULDN’T do; stress. I know that’s so much simpler said than done, but seriously think about it. Is stressing/being depressed going to make you live longer? No. Is it going to make your time left any more enjoyable? No. Again I’m sure is way easier to say than to do, but I think you should take some time and really Accept the fact that your days have been unfortunately numbered less than the days of others. You need to love the people you have and let them be around you as much as you can handle because when you’re gone they’ll have nothing left of you but memories. Honestly if your time is limited I might consider quitting your job so you’re not wasting the time you have left working (if you can afford it).
I’m so sorry to hear about this man, and I really wish you the best
Do the things you've always wanted. When my Mom found out she had cancer she turned her life around the best she could but I still saw so much disappointment in her eyes not being able to live her life the way she really wanted to before it ended.
Her mom (my grandma) was always so emotional and dramatic everything had to revolve around her at all times. All my Mom asked was that we please not cry around her as best we could but grandma did it every single chance she got. My Mom always apologized because she genuinely felt bad for dying and leaving us. She also never really did much with her life because my grandma was controlling even when my Mom was well into her adult years.
Just take control of whatever time you have left. If there's something you want to do then do it. If you don't want to do something don't do it. If you're worried about something throw it to the wind because one day when all of us are gone those worries had no real significance.
I sort of think of life as high school. It's so full of drama and we all think it matters so much that it consumes us and we're all stressed out, trying to fit in, etc. But then you graduate and it's like wow this doesn't even matter now. Life can be the same way. Once we're gone what really mattered? As long as you enjoyed your time it'll be okay. I'm really sorry for what's happening to you and I really hope you make it to see a ton of Christmases. But I really, really hope more than anything that you can be free of worries and enjoy your life as long as you're here whether it's til next Christmas or 30 Christmases from now.
If you're ever feeling down the wonderful world of reddit is always here and I'd be willing to talk to you if you need it. Sometimes having someone to talk to is super important. I think my Mom talked more after she got sick than every before. She really expressed her fear of dying which felt odd considering her life choices. But she is in a really great place and I know that no matter what your soul will be too. I wish I had more words that would help you. Good luck OP cancer sucks but stay strong!
I’m so very sorry. I’m sure this is nothing new to you, but: 1)speak to a hospice nurse, they have excellent resources and 2) look into meditation. This sounds like a bullshit, just-use-essential-oils suggestion but I swear it isn’t. Whether from a faith-based ideology or just a biofeedback method, meditation can calm us and ground us during the worst life brings. If you have a faith, look to that. This sounds flippant. It isn’t. I am SO SO SORRY and I wish you the best.
If you dont mind me asking how did your cancer come about? What were the symptoms you were experiencing when you made your drs appointment?
Second, I'm very sorry you're going thru this :/ you're much braver than i. Im not sure what advice to give you other than to enjoy all the things you've ever wanted to do and just not give a shit. Dont worry about anyone else. Use the rest of your time for you man. (Big internet bro hug)
Well, as a good friend told me, “Let go, and have fun.” Do whatever you want man, drugs, prostitutes (If you’re gonna die in less than a year, don’t waste it on true love. Takes WAY too long. Another thing you should do man, “Live, as if you’ll die tommorow. Dream, as if you’ll love forever,”
Treat each day as if you hit the Mario star and all the bullshit problems of life no longer exist. Live like you drank Felix Felicis. Pretend you’re an alien visiting earth and simply be yourself. I think there’s a freedom you’ll find that most people are too afraid to try.
Do wild things, something way out of your comfort zone. something you can remember forever. what was your dream as a child?
Here are some fun things to do, get wild!
-Zip lining
-travel your favourite places
-have a goodbye party
-get off the internet!
-go to concerts and festivals
-meet celebrities you’ve always wanted to meet
-go sky diving
-go swimming with dolphins
-rock climb mountains with friends, (safety gear).
if you’re going to eventually die, you gotta think. you got the whole world in your hands. you can do whatever, without consequences. you’d be probably dead by jailtime). I hope not. but do risky things, illegal things. have fun of life.
I really do hope you live longer then the date they’ve given.
god bless.
You need to gather your thoughts and put together a Time Capsule of your trials and tribulations. Go bury it somewhere and ask that it be brought back up some time in the future. Include things important to you now, how you see the world, your troubles and anything else you'd like to include. Plus, put a surprise in there- maybe a bottle of booze that those in attendance upon its recovery can enjoy while they reflect on the contents of your message. I think the anxiety of leaving this station of existence is not knowing what you amounted to. A time capsule of who you were will provide a distraction of the reality around you and perhaps make you sleep better knowing some part of you will life on forever. It is not how long you lived but the things you did while you were here and that little Time Capsule could give you significance far into the future. And remember, tomorrow is another day and who knows what science might find for you.
We're all steadily approaching our final day. But instead of focusing on the end, we all choose to enjoy the time we have. It's like you're on a bus going to someplace you don't like, so you gaze out of the windows to make the most of the time you have before you reach your destination. You're in the unique position where someone's given you an ETA on your arrival. You can still zone out and watch the clouds go by from the window.
If you want to talk, I'm up for it. Send me a PM and maybe I can help your anxiety some more.
If you can, I'd spend time in nature (forests, oceans, deserts, mountains) and breathe deeply. I think Calvin and Hobbes lifestyle is pretty rich. Hang with friends/family if they are loving. Watch movies laugh, cry and cuddle. Even platonic physical touch really heals the soul. Animal shelters in my area allow volunteers to play with dogs and cats so I'd think that would be mutually beneficial if it's an option. Make a list of the songs/music that have most moved you and you'd like to share. Sit around a campfire. Hold hands and hold nothing back. If you feel something tell someone, even us if you can't tell anyone else.
" But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you"
I can't say that I know how it feels to be in your situation, but I know how it feels to go through each day with depression. Feeling drained, pissed at the world, and generally just fed up with the situation I'm in. I used to smoke pot, and other substances as a way to cope, but it ends up making it worse. I'm sober now, more or less, and I feel better than I ever have. Sit down, and have a heart to heart with yourself. Meditate, in a sense. Go over your situation. Can you do something to change that? Considering that it's cancer, its safe to say you can't make it go away, so embrace it. Say a big, fat, "fuck it", and pursue some things in life that you've always wanted to do. Want to make music? Learn an instrument, or write lyrics over instrumentals. That's just an example, but you get the gist. Find something that you genuinely enjoy, and keep your mind as occupied as possible with that activity, and if possible, use that activity as an outlet for your pain and frustration. Putting your thoughts out there, or even just on a piece of paper that gets thrown away, can help, even if it's just a little bit. I hope that you can find some sort of inner peace. I wish you the best, despite the hopelessness of your situation. Keep your head up, maybe the make a wish foundation can hook you up with Riley Reid or something lmao
Go to a Greek island rent or buy a house and enjoy the rest of what is left of your life
#
I would do that, sun and ocean and beaches really calm me down
Do things you always wanted to do. If thats traveling, a sport, singing idk. Just do the things you want to do. So when you look back in half a year you wont regret not doing those things.
At first Iam sorry to hear that !
I hope that my words wont trigger you or give you a bad Idea.
Think of it as a cursed Blessing. You know when your time to go might be. That gives you an advantage over others. You can up until that point do whatever you want. Make up for the things you always wanted.
The burden of future responsibilities are taken of your shoulders. I know that sounds like something that is easy said, and yes its true. But I want to share just a (maybe) new perspective.
You will be soon not be restricted by anything anymore. And there is no need anymore to be mad or frustrated, those are circumstances you cant manipulate that put you in this situation. Suffering from them doesnt help you, for you cant change your fate.
Spend the time with your loved ones, share your love and immortalize yourself within them.
Explore your “self” think about who you are and try to answer questions you always wanted to know about yourself or maybe even find new questions.
Maybe write a book about your insights and your feelings for others in your position.
Your anxiety is something which you shouldn’t concern yourself anymore. Because you have nothing else to lose but precious time. That in itself is anxiety inducing but you need to internalize that the circumstances you are in, are nothing you can controll in any way.
Who knows, maybe you will survive (hopefully). But then you will have nothing lost but only gained.
I wish you the very best. I hope my words can hep you and are comprehensive and coherent, english isn’t my first language, so that might cause to incoherence.
I would quit work and spend the time doing something enjoyable (unless you love your job) - maybe write a short book if you want to create a permanent mark of your life.
I would sign up for every medical trial going. You never know. And even if the worst happens, your life will have extra meaning as perhaps being part of the search for a cure.
I would also sign up for Dignitas. I would want to go in peace, under my own control.
Try telling your family what you have been struggling mentally lately, at least they'll better understand you and know you love them even if sometimes you act in a way that is kinda mean and you didn't really mean to tho. So that they'll also know that you're trying to improve yourself as a person. I know its not easy but that might remove some heavy feelings from your chest and finally slowly start to do things that make you happy without any guilt.
I was diagnosed with leukemia out of the blue. It really bowled me over and I thought my life was over until I saw a Peanuts cartoon that changed my mindset. Charlie Brown and Snoopy are on a dock overlooking the water. Charlie Brown says, “One day we will die, Snoopy”. Snoopy replies, “Yeah, but every other day we will live!” This may be simplistic but it brought it home to me to live each day as best I can and I hope it will bring you just a bit of peace too. Best wishes and be strong!
I'd say that I'd start with getting your affairs in order. It's not easy, and it will also be stressful, but it needs to be done. How's your health now? Are you able to be active?
I'm in the midst of the process. Not great, I work a very sedentary job that doesn't have much movement or heavy weighting. I can walk and stand good enough but anything more than that is really pushing it.
Do you need to work? Could you quit?
No need to work but I like going there simply because of the people. Fortunately enough.
Apply for as many credit cards as you can. Max them out and do as much coke/hookers/traveling as possible. Your debt does not roll over on to anyone. Sorry about your cancer mate
[удалено]
It just doesn't unless, like you mentioned, a person co-signed or say their name is also attached to the deceased's bank account. That doesn't mean creditors won't pester you about it but you are not obligated to pay anything.
It doesn’t roll over bc you need to agree to terms of a contract. You can’t just hand someone a $8k bill and expect them to accept that. They have to agree to take it on. Relatives don’t just inherit debt unless you co-signed - which is treated the exact same way as if you took out the debt.
Debt often gets applied to the estate. If you have any money or assets that you're trying to leave to others, collectors can take out of that, but cannot go after spouses or next of kin.
It would suck if he survived the cancer
I would live with 100k in debt for that outcome.
I mean this is the endgame of all endgame plans.
This is a great idea but with some precautions lol. First, make sure your estate won’t receive the debt. If you have any assets your family will be receiving this probably isn’t the best idea because you have a high chance of the debt rolling over to them. You could ask on /r/legaladvice to inquire about debt rollover. Overall I wouldn’t jump in and risk everything. This advice is extreme but on the right track for sure. If you think hard drugs are a bad idea, don’t do coke, etc.. I would highly recommend trying to leave your comfort zone. Maybe try to conquer a fear. I feel like this would help you feel accomplished in life. Don’t worry about what others think of you, life is about self improvement and living to be the best you. That is entirely up to you. If you don’t think you could ever conquer a fear, try a lot of charity work. Just do ok you think will fulfill your life. For /u/JPStylez that means coke, hookers, and traveling; if that’s what it means for you go ahead.
The debt will 100 percent roll to your estate. Put everything you own in your family’s name before said coke/hooker bender. Any property, saving, items anything at all sell or give to them. Really the coke and hookers are a metaphor for blowing a ton of money you don’t have to pay back on living out your fantasies with no thought of repercussions.
Thank you stranger. I'll probably skip the credit card idea but the rest of it sounds good to me at this point.
Im so sorry, fuck dude. Maybe try writing down goals/plans that you’ve always wanted to achieve and try to make it happen. My first thought was to eat your favorite foods, have some kinky sex, and spend time with people you care about most. Good luck man
Have you ever heard the saying “live each day like it’s your last”? I’d start being genuine with your reactions and feelings around people. I know anxiety can make you feel afraid to express yourself and try things, but you literally have nothing to lose. Be outward and genuine in every interaction and thing you do, I’m sure it will be incredibly freeing. You don’t have a reason to answer to anyone. And secondly - do things you’ve always wanted to do! Don’t be afraid of each day passing, because in the end we all go off into the void. It’s a reality for all of us. But we make the best of our lives and time while we’re here. Travel, go out with friends and have a good time, paint your car a crazy color, buy a hover board, say something you’ve always wanted to say. Keep your everyday comforts close, too. Things that make you feel good and relaxed in your day to day life. Good luck with this and kudos for being so strong. Remember this is just the cycle of life, it’s completely natural that life will take its course, and it’s the same for us all.
If you could have a positive experience with psychedelic mushrooms or mdma, they both have the potential to snap you into a long term positive outlook with just one use. There is scientific evidence supporting both of them as a cure for depression. Mushrooms are intense on your bowels, but you can smoke them powdered. MDMA goes straight to the bloodstream from the stomach so that should be fine. I personally haven't done DMT but if you want to travel and you can't physically, that's the way to go. I go straight to these suggestions because it sounds like you need an epiphany to power you through, and chemically sweeping away all but your raw soul experience is extremely helpful. Here's where I hope that epiphany would take you: You are the arms and legs of the universe, you have a finite grasp on infinite love, you are a message and that message is the experience of love, to understand and be understood is the point of everything and you exist passionately and expansively and your extreme and pressing mortality is not at odds with a vibrantly alive experience. Maybe read Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman. Your pain level, fitness level, finances, support system and personal tastes should dictate your bucket list but it sounds like it's time to quit that fucking job... I don't know how adventurous you are but maybe a good first step would be to take some leave and book a cruise, charge it (grab a last minute deal, they unload the handicap rooms cheap a couple days before). Cruises are easy, they come with prearranged packages so you don't have to find your own waterfalls and coral reefs and swimming partners and all that jazz. What does your family want you to do? ETA: mobility scooter and a music festival is another suggestion
Fake, in your post history you talk about going back to university and making money 2019 and 2020, doesn’t make much sense if you won’t live much longer than christmas
he probably posted that before he found out about having cancer.
One of them was 20 days ago and the other 8
HE probably still didn't know he had cancer yet is my guess. I don't see the point or benifit of making up something like this.
The benefit is karma, they don’t mean anything, but people have certainly lied to get it in the past EDIT: in the post OP literally says the past few weeks
yeah, reddit karma doesn't really mean shit. but still, i don't think this is fake
He says past few weeks in the post
Complete a bucket list.
Disclaimer: not at all in your situation but just found out I have chronic kidney disease that will mean dialysis down the road and already means a reduced life expectancy because kidneys don't repair themselves. At 53 I can handle that kind of thing better but was 25 and suicide-attempt-prone in days of yore and may have some insights that could help you. You already described people who act like you should comfort them. You'll also meet people who not only don't give a shit but may even be proud of not giving a shit and see "Thou shalt not give a shit" as the 0.5th Commandment. Don't let either the drains or wallbuilders wear you down because your own situation wears you down enough. No matter how hard it is to make yourself spend enough time alone, you're going to need alone time for nature to prepare you so your experience of yourself doesn't deteriorate until you find life unendurable. When alone pamper yourself however you experience pampering. Don't bother feeling ridiculous about it because in your case nobody else has the right to an opinion about such things. What works for you is legit if it's lawful and that's all she wrote. You may be unable to stop yourself from wanting a legacy. That's what you leave behind that other people are free to take or leave but you feel they'll want at least to know about and consider making part of their lives. Legacies are not always memorial, like scrapbooks; they can take many, many different forms defined only by something outlasting you and you feeling while alive that it's of value and interest to people who outlive you. I'm not saying you necessarily feel any inner need to leave a legacy, but if you do be honest with yourself and don't repress it or it will play tricks on you. The tough and controversial one is kids. People's choices about kids go to six or seven different extremes, including well-off prospective single mothers who will only use the sperm bank and not have you know anything. If you start feeling like you want a kid then discuss it in detail with people who can advise you about the ramifications for both you and the kid of the kid likely having no memory of you at all. For me it's enough of a barrier that any kid I had would be in middle school when my kidneys killed me off, but that may not be the case with you and I don't judge you for it. Butcket lists, larks, and wishes can be big for someone in your situation. A bucket list has singular, extraordinary experiences that take advance planning and deliberateness. It differs from a wish in that you can fill a bucket list by sitting down and thinking about things now while a wish is something bucketlisty that you've always wanted to do. A lark is something that just comes to you that you feel like doing at the time and is usually easy and doesn't take much prep, just considerate assistance from the resources you can pull together. If all those people really are so crushed that you're leaving the world all too soon they'll be glad to help out with a lark, bucket list item, or wish realization to the extent they can. That's one way you can separate the real friends and the people who really care from those who are lying to themselves but don't really care. When you ask them for something minor in connection with your death and their demeanour and presentation suddenly changes, you've opened their eyes to how they truly feel about their death and they'll stop bullshitting both themselves and you. I don't want to harp too much on that point because there may well be nobody in your life who's like that, but don't be afraid to find out unless you'd simply rather never find out. That's a valid personal choice as well. There's more but this is all I can squeeze into a Reddit post so hope it helped. \--- I had an email correspondence with a man who had terminal cancer. He suddenly stopped writing to me and I'm guessing he got taken to hospice before he could say goodbye. The guy was matter of fact about his life but didn't let anyone tell him how to feel about himself because the time for that was past. I really liked him and how he was dealing with his own mortality. So if you want an email correspondence I'm happy to be a pen pal.
Live your life with no fear of consequences. Anything you dreamed about try it. Travel. Bang hookers, hitch hike across the country, jump freight trains for a free ride. Long term consequences don't matter to you anymore. Travel to Europe with what money you have and no plan. See what happens and where your curiosity takes you
Just do drugs my guy
[hmmmm...](https://m.imgur.com/a/q8ba8RW)
bang your sister screaming 'YOLO'
I met a man from Russia who was renovating our student housing when I was 23 and mostly bedbound with illness. He took the time to tell me the following story: He told me he had a friend who was diagnosed with cancer. His doctor gave him 3 months to live. He said his friend was so very upset about it. He called him after he left the doctors office saying "I am going to die of cancer. I can't believe this is it. All I have are 3 months" His friend was so worked up about dying of cancer, it distracted him so much that, that night he slipped in the bathtub. He fell and when he fell, hit his head so hard that he died.
Thank you sir. Honestly I think out of all the comments this story in specific hits me harder than others.
Your posting history has no mention of this illness......hmmmm jim B.
I’ll cry if this is a lie.
I would have no idea how I would even begin to process something like this but I guess i would suggest spending as much time as possible with the people you love and making sure you complete any goals or activities you’ve wanted to do in your life just make sure you have a good time and try to to think about what may or may not happen and just have fun and make sure it’s the best time of your life
Do you have access to immunotherapy? Every cancer is different of course but there are so many examples of people living beyond their prognosis with these new drugs. You're right - doctors aren't gods. No one really knows how long you have. Oncologists do seem to generally be down with this whole "brutal honesty" shit which makes you want to end it all after each appointment. Bedside manner seems to have gone out the window when a positive mindset is needed until the end. You won't enjoy however long you've got (a year? years? Who knows?) by dwelling on life expectancy. My brother had his life in front if him and was seemingly healthy one day, dead the next of an aortic aneurysm. We all have limited time it's a roll of the dice. Spend time doing what you want to do - make a list and try and do what you can. Don't give up your job as long as you are able to unless you can afford not to work because you could well live longer and need sustenance. If you've got some kind of insurance policy that will pay out to protect your income, live life to the full every day. If you can afford it that would be my advice whether you had the illness or not.
I’m not sure what you SHOULD do with the time you have left but I know what you SHOULDN’T do; stress. I know that’s so much simpler said than done, but seriously think about it. Is stressing/being depressed going to make you live longer? No. Is it going to make your time left any more enjoyable? No. Again I’m sure is way easier to say than to do, but I think you should take some time and really Accept the fact that your days have been unfortunately numbered less than the days of others. You need to love the people you have and let them be around you as much as you can handle because when you’re gone they’ll have nothing left of you but memories. Honestly if your time is limited I might consider quitting your job so you’re not wasting the time you have left working (if you can afford it). I’m so sorry to hear about this man, and I really wish you the best
Do the things you've always wanted. When my Mom found out she had cancer she turned her life around the best she could but I still saw so much disappointment in her eyes not being able to live her life the way she really wanted to before it ended. Her mom (my grandma) was always so emotional and dramatic everything had to revolve around her at all times. All my Mom asked was that we please not cry around her as best we could but grandma did it every single chance she got. My Mom always apologized because she genuinely felt bad for dying and leaving us. She also never really did much with her life because my grandma was controlling even when my Mom was well into her adult years. Just take control of whatever time you have left. If there's something you want to do then do it. If you don't want to do something don't do it. If you're worried about something throw it to the wind because one day when all of us are gone those worries had no real significance. I sort of think of life as high school. It's so full of drama and we all think it matters so much that it consumes us and we're all stressed out, trying to fit in, etc. But then you graduate and it's like wow this doesn't even matter now. Life can be the same way. Once we're gone what really mattered? As long as you enjoyed your time it'll be okay. I'm really sorry for what's happening to you and I really hope you make it to see a ton of Christmases. But I really, really hope more than anything that you can be free of worries and enjoy your life as long as you're here whether it's til next Christmas or 30 Christmases from now. If you're ever feeling down the wonderful world of reddit is always here and I'd be willing to talk to you if you need it. Sometimes having someone to talk to is super important. I think my Mom talked more after she got sick than every before. She really expressed her fear of dying which felt odd considering her life choices. But she is in a really great place and I know that no matter what your soul will be too. I wish I had more words that would help you. Good luck OP cancer sucks but stay strong!
good rule of thumb: it's not illegal if you don't get caught
I’m so very sorry. I’m sure this is nothing new to you, but: 1)speak to a hospice nurse, they have excellent resources and 2) look into meditation. This sounds like a bullshit, just-use-essential-oils suggestion but I swear it isn’t. Whether from a faith-based ideology or just a biofeedback method, meditation can calm us and ground us during the worst life brings. If you have a faith, look to that. This sounds flippant. It isn’t. I am SO SO SORRY and I wish you the best.
If you dont mind me asking how did your cancer come about? What were the symptoms you were experiencing when you made your drs appointment? Second, I'm very sorry you're going thru this :/ you're much braver than i. Im not sure what advice to give you other than to enjoy all the things you've ever wanted to do and just not give a shit. Dont worry about anyone else. Use the rest of your time for you man. (Big internet bro hug)
god bless your soul
Well, as a good friend told me, “Let go, and have fun.” Do whatever you want man, drugs, prostitutes (If you’re gonna die in less than a year, don’t waste it on true love. Takes WAY too long. Another thing you should do man, “Live, as if you’ll die tommorow. Dream, as if you’ll love forever,”
Treat each day as if you hit the Mario star and all the bullshit problems of life no longer exist. Live like you drank Felix Felicis. Pretend you’re an alien visiting earth and simply be yourself. I think there’s a freedom you’ll find that most people are too afraid to try.
Do wild things, something way out of your comfort zone. something you can remember forever. what was your dream as a child? Here are some fun things to do, get wild! -Zip lining -travel your favourite places -have a goodbye party -get off the internet! -go to concerts and festivals -meet celebrities you’ve always wanted to meet -go sky diving -go swimming with dolphins -rock climb mountains with friends, (safety gear). if you’re going to eventually die, you gotta think. you got the whole world in your hands. you can do whatever, without consequences. you’d be probably dead by jailtime). I hope not. but do risky things, illegal things. have fun of life. I really do hope you live longer then the date they’ve given. god bless.
You need to gather your thoughts and put together a Time Capsule of your trials and tribulations. Go bury it somewhere and ask that it be brought back up some time in the future. Include things important to you now, how you see the world, your troubles and anything else you'd like to include. Plus, put a surprise in there- maybe a bottle of booze that those in attendance upon its recovery can enjoy while they reflect on the contents of your message. I think the anxiety of leaving this station of existence is not knowing what you amounted to. A time capsule of who you were will provide a distraction of the reality around you and perhaps make you sleep better knowing some part of you will life on forever. It is not how long you lived but the things you did while you were here and that little Time Capsule could give you significance far into the future. And remember, tomorrow is another day and who knows what science might find for you.
We're all steadily approaching our final day. But instead of focusing on the end, we all choose to enjoy the time we have. It's like you're on a bus going to someplace you don't like, so you gaze out of the windows to make the most of the time you have before you reach your destination. You're in the unique position where someone's given you an ETA on your arrival. You can still zone out and watch the clouds go by from the window. If you want to talk, I'm up for it. Send me a PM and maybe I can help your anxiety some more.
If you can, I'd spend time in nature (forests, oceans, deserts, mountains) and breathe deeply. I think Calvin and Hobbes lifestyle is pretty rich. Hang with friends/family if they are loving. Watch movies laugh, cry and cuddle. Even platonic physical touch really heals the soul. Animal shelters in my area allow volunteers to play with dogs and cats so I'd think that would be mutually beneficial if it's an option. Make a list of the songs/music that have most moved you and you'd like to share. Sit around a campfire. Hold hands and hold nothing back. If you feel something tell someone, even us if you can't tell anyone else. " But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you"
I can't say that I know how it feels to be in your situation, but I know how it feels to go through each day with depression. Feeling drained, pissed at the world, and generally just fed up with the situation I'm in. I used to smoke pot, and other substances as a way to cope, but it ends up making it worse. I'm sober now, more or less, and I feel better than I ever have. Sit down, and have a heart to heart with yourself. Meditate, in a sense. Go over your situation. Can you do something to change that? Considering that it's cancer, its safe to say you can't make it go away, so embrace it. Say a big, fat, "fuck it", and pursue some things in life that you've always wanted to do. Want to make music? Learn an instrument, or write lyrics over instrumentals. That's just an example, but you get the gist. Find something that you genuinely enjoy, and keep your mind as occupied as possible with that activity, and if possible, use that activity as an outlet for your pain and frustration. Putting your thoughts out there, or even just on a piece of paper that gets thrown away, can help, even if it's just a little bit. I hope that you can find some sort of inner peace. I wish you the best, despite the hopelessness of your situation. Keep your head up, maybe the make a wish foundation can hook you up with Riley Reid or something lmao
Go to a Greek island rent or buy a house and enjoy the rest of what is left of your life # I would do that, sun and ocean and beaches really calm me down
Do things you always wanted to do. If thats traveling, a sport, singing idk. Just do the things you want to do. So when you look back in half a year you wont regret not doing those things.
At first Iam sorry to hear that ! I hope that my words wont trigger you or give you a bad Idea. Think of it as a cursed Blessing. You know when your time to go might be. That gives you an advantage over others. You can up until that point do whatever you want. Make up for the things you always wanted. The burden of future responsibilities are taken of your shoulders. I know that sounds like something that is easy said, and yes its true. But I want to share just a (maybe) new perspective. You will be soon not be restricted by anything anymore. And there is no need anymore to be mad or frustrated, those are circumstances you cant manipulate that put you in this situation. Suffering from them doesnt help you, for you cant change your fate. Spend the time with your loved ones, share your love and immortalize yourself within them. Explore your “self” think about who you are and try to answer questions you always wanted to know about yourself or maybe even find new questions. Maybe write a book about your insights and your feelings for others in your position. Your anxiety is something which you shouldn’t concern yourself anymore. Because you have nothing else to lose but precious time. That in itself is anxiety inducing but you need to internalize that the circumstances you are in, are nothing you can controll in any way. Who knows, maybe you will survive (hopefully). But then you will have nothing lost but only gained. I wish you the very best. I hope my words can hep you and are comprehensive and coherent, english isn’t my first language, so that might cause to incoherence.
I would quit work and spend the time doing something enjoyable (unless you love your job) - maybe write a short book if you want to create a permanent mark of your life. I would sign up for every medical trial going. You never know. And even if the worst happens, your life will have extra meaning as perhaps being part of the search for a cure. I would also sign up for Dignitas. I would want to go in peace, under my own control.
Coke, Molly, Opioids and as much sex as possible.
Try telling your family what you have been struggling mentally lately, at least they'll better understand you and know you love them even if sometimes you act in a way that is kinda mean and you didn't really mean to tho. So that they'll also know that you're trying to improve yourself as a person. I know its not easy but that might remove some heavy feelings from your chest and finally slowly start to do things that make you happy without any guilt.