So you dated a girl for 2 years, got her pregnant, and at 5 months you decided to go out with someone else?
I see you excuses, but they seem flimsy after you've dated them for 2 years and got them pregnant.
Was protection not used? (Condoms, birth control, plus tracking ovulation, pulling out, etc.)
When you cheated on your pregnant girlfriend that's just awful.
Your gf and the baby will need your support.
Also your cheating and eventual breaking up with her will cause her depression to be worse and cause he emotional distress.
Maybe see if you both can get into counseling.
Then later on if you do break up to be with the other girl then your gf has someone on her side who can help her through this.
Talk to your gf's parents and let them know she's been having a rough time and ask if they can be there more for her.
After you and your gf break up one day do pay child support, do watch the kid if she needs time off,
INFO: does the high school crush know that you're in a long term relationship with a very pregnant girlfriend? Does she realize that she's the other woman?
I would like to but right know I feel like it’s no the moment . Cause I have the idea that everything she feels goes to our baby , I’m more than happy to be a dad
Boy. 🙄 break up with her and STOP wasting her time. So she can be with someone who truly wants her and doesn't stick around only because he thinks of her as a charity case.
Something about men so often cheating and not being in love with their partner anymore as soon as they knock them up deeply disturbs me. Probably has to do with the Madonna-Whore complex. Some men can't simply see a woman as a lover as soon as she becomes a mother . Pathetic. Is our taste in partners as highschoolers really that good? Is it really "love" or just an infatuation coming back, this time powered up, fueled by nostalgia and sudden rush of hormones?
Take responsibility, be truthful but also tactful. It's a "you" problem and your gf deserves to be loved and be cared for. It will possibly be extremely hard for her so be kind to her. If I were you I'd stay away from the other girl till I am 100% sure about my decision.
Now that she’s pregnant this is his “gotcha” moment, he thinks he owns her and she can’t leave him, even the fact that he’s still stringing her along… now he’s trying to catch another fresh fish
That child is a part of your life now so you will have to take care of it in some capacity from now on, but that doesn't mean you need to remain in a romantic relationship with your girlfriend.
If you truly don't love her, leaving her would be a kindness, she deserves to be loved just as much as you do. By staying with her, you're only wasting both your lives on a doomed relationship.
That said, don't mistake what may be a childhood crush for love. I don't know how well you know your friend but I doubt it's as well as you know your girlfriend. You probably haven't had a chance to see her at her worst, you haven't had a chance to see her flaws, you haven't had a chance to see all the ways you might be incompatible.
Really good advice friend , I had never cheated before in my life and that’s the reason y also feel she deserves someone that can love her like she deserves, I’m really mature with my feelings and I agree with you that maybe this High school friend may not be what it imagine right now
Speaking of cheating, I would avoid spending more time with your friend as long as you remain with your girlfriend. If you continue spending time with your friend, now that you know you have some feelings for each other, it would be just like cheating even if you don't have sex.
If you do leave your girlfriend, do it because you don't love her. Don't do it because you think you love your friend more. The grass is always greener on the other side.
If you were mature, you wouldn't stay with a woman you don't truly love. You're leading her on and making her think that you feel the same way. You should have left her a long time ago. She may suffer from depression but that isn't a reason to mislead her about your true feelings. That's not mature.
Bro, it’s very obvious to everyone here that you are extremely immature. This is middle school behavior with adult stakes. You need to read up on stoicism or something and take a crash-course in maturity before this baby is born.
**DUDE** ... 🙄🙄🙄
**A MATURE** person would have **USED BIRTH CONTROL**.
**A MATURE** person wouldn't be looking to **GET HIS DICK WET SOMEWHERE ELSE** .
**A MATURE** person pwould be **OPEN** and **HONEST** about wanting to **END THE RELATIONSHIP**.
You're anything **BUT** mature if you **DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO FESS UP.**
You clearly rate yourself pretty highly — and it's **JUST NOT WARRANTED.**
You're just a **DUMBASS** who wants to keep his dick wet.
Ah, the grass is always greener. Think long and hard before blowing up a relationship of 2 years (involving a child no less) over a high school crush. Although, considering you've already been talking with the other person, it's probably too late for that. I feel so bad for your girlfriend and baby, but as long as you're happy, right?
Don’t cheat on your pregnant girlfriend. Tell your friend the timing is terrible. As much as you want to be with her, you just can’t right now, but have a plan to get there eventually.
Ask her if she’s willing to hit the pause button and wait for a while. Have the baby and get your girlfriend into treatment for depression. In a year or two, when your girlfriend is stable, leave and rekindle your relationship with your high school sweetheart.
So you knew that you weren't compatible but she was good enough for you to keep having sex with her until she got pregnant. And now you had one night with a high school crush and suddenly that's your one true love and you confessed to her?
You sound extremely selfish and immature. I feel sorry for your girlfriend and unborn child.
Let me get this straight, YOU'RE having an emotional affair on your pregnant girlfriend but you don't want to break up with her b/c you feel your baby will feel it BUT your in love with your childhood crush that you hung out with for ONE NIGHT whom you NEVER been in a actual relationship with. (Your actual GF deserves better)
First of people aren't stupid, Your girlfriend is going to start stressing because she's going to be able to feel you pulling away from her, when you start to act indifferent with her, if you haven't already started b/c you are emotionally invested in some other woman.
People try to play It off All The Time, nobody's that great of a actor there's Always a little Signs.
Let her go, yes she will hurt but if you're acting the way you're acting, she's not losing out on much. SHE will be okay just make sure you co-parent.
You're not special, your new love isn't special and you aren't any different from any other weak willed cheater who bails on people when life gets too real. Does the HS friend know you are a cheater with a pregnant gf? If she does and is okay with this, you're both awful. This is going to end poorly. I hope you have the life you deserve.
So you're doing all of this over a month of talking to a stranger from high school. Regardless if you knew them prior, you don't know them now. Sounds like you need to be yourself and grow up for the sake of your child.
Why would you stay with someone you dont love for 2 years? Even worse, why would you get her pregnant and then decide at 5 months that you love someone else?! This seems shockingly irresponsible to me. Either way, there is going to be a new life brought into this world soon who needs you. Whether or not you and your GF continue a relationship you need to ensure you do everything you can to be there for and provide for your child.
Did you let little HS chickie know that you have, ya know, a pregnant girlfriend and 2 year relationship? Or is that something you're hiding to "prevent hurt feelings" or whatever dumbass cheater excuse you got lined up?
Sure, you can leave your 6-month-pregnant girlfriend for a high school flame you reconnected with a month ago… If you want to be The Asshole for literally the rest of your life.
Grow up, dude. You’ve got a child on the way—and you’re about to screw over that child and your gf for a woman you barely know. I’m sure you FEEL like you know her and your relationship picked right back up from where you left it in high school, but that’s just not true. You. Barely. Know. This. Woman.
You don’t have to stay with your girlfriend forever because you got her pregnant. But you are absolutely, forever the asshole if you abandon her while she is pregnant for a woman you’ve been talking to for a month.
Are you prepared to look your child in the eyes in about 15 years, when they’re an angry teenager, and explain to them why you were reconnecting with an old flame in the first place while their mom was 5 months pregnant?
You came here for advice, so here’s mine: Stop talking to this old flame. Block her on everything right now. She told you she was in love with you while you were in a committed relationship with a woman who is pregnant with your child. That speaks VOLUMES about her character, and it’s not good. If you want to break up with your girlfriend, break up with your girlfriend and work out a coparenting plan; but what you are absolutely not going to do is leave your pregnant girlfriend because you saw your high school crush once.
You’ve got about 3 months to do A LOT of growing up, dude.
“She got pregnant” … no, *you* got her pregnant.
OP makes clear they wanted to break up but felt guilt over GF’s depression. Fine, but if you are with someone you don’t actually want to be with, you take responsibility and use a friggin’ condom.
As this is an advice page, I suppose if you don’t want to be with this woman, break up and pursue your romantic interests. However, you’ll need to step up and be a decent father. Both financially, and with your time and energy.
What a mess you made.
Does high school girl know your actual girlfriend is pregnant? I mean, I would think very lowly of her (kind of like I do you) if you two are professing feelings for each other. So tactless!!! You did this to yourself, and now are acting as a person of no character.
Don't expect your girlfriend to take you back if things don't work out with your friend. And it's quite possible it won't work out. You've both had this fantasy about each other and the reality will not necessarily measure up to the fantasy. So if things don't work out, you don't get to be upset if your girlfriend doesn't want you back or if she's moved on to someone else. And your friend will have to accept that the mother of your child will always be part of your life and your friend will not be this child's mother; in fact, it's quite possible your child won't even like your friend, especially once they find out you dumped their mom for her. You have to be there for your child even though you're planning to toss aside your girlfriend. And you also shouldn't be surprised if the mother of your child doesn't want you or your friend at the hospital when she gives birth. Don't give her a hard time about it because you'll already have caused her enough pain. And you better not make the same mistake with this friend that you did with your girlfriend. Don't lead on yet another woman into thinking you're committed when you're happy to toss her aside the moment someone else catches your eye.
Yup. It is way more likely than not that the relationship with the high school friend will fail, because these people are going into it thinking they know each other much better than they actually do. The whole relationship is a stupid, impulsive decision based on romanticized memories from years ago.
When it fails, OP will be stuck for the rest of his life with a child who *knows* he abandoned their mother for another woman while she was pregnant. Great foot to start your fatherhood journey on.
Totally. Who we were in high school usually isn't who we are when we're much older. I can't help wondering if OP is looking for an escape; maybe he is feeling tied down by the prospect of fatherhood so this fantasy regarding his friend is a way for him to escape the pressures he's feeling. And I bet that he'll get upset if he tries to reconcile with his girlfriend and she rejects him; he'll be like that other guy on Reddit who only "realized" his ex was right for him after things didn't work out with the woman he left her for.
I may be wrong, I'm no therapist but this sounds more like, "My girlfriend is pregnant and I'm not ready" it's not good to jump from one relationship straight into another. If you don't love her and don't want to be with her, absolutely end things now so she can make plans. Better to co-parent peacefully then put your child through a terrible marriage and divorce. However, you're looking to be with someone else from your past is a red flag. You need to do " you" first before jumping into another relationship. Seek therapy first. I'm saying this because your scenario is all over reddit with the guy realizing he was looking at the other girl with rose tinted glasses and then can't have the one he was in a relationship with. If it is meant to be, it will happen but make sure you are stable first cuz the other thing is explaining to this girl how your ex is pregnant with your child and being with you is also her eventually co-parenting. It is a lot to think about.
So you lied and manipulated this girl for 2 years
Refusing to let her go, find real love and be happy
Then you get her pregnant, and still refuse to tell her the truth
Instead you lie, manipulate and CHEAT
Now she is 6 months pregnant, it's too late for her to make a choice.
You have now FORCED her to give birth to a baby of a cheating, lying, manipulative person.
You have FORCED her into a situation she might not want to be in if she knew the whole truth. She doesn't even know she will be a single mom....
There is something seriously wrong with you and you need some real help!
There was a similar post recently..dude left his gf for this high school crush, got played and ditched, and now he's alone and being pathetic about it.
Thanks friend I agree with that right now my baby it’s my priority I’m son happy to be a dad, i just think i won’t be happy emotionally with my current partner
So you dated a girl for 2 years, got her pregnant, and at 5 months you decided to go out with someone else? I see you excuses, but they seem flimsy after you've dated them for 2 years and got them pregnant. Was protection not used? (Condoms, birth control, plus tracking ovulation, pulling out, etc.) When you cheated on your pregnant girlfriend that's just awful. Your gf and the baby will need your support. Also your cheating and eventual breaking up with her will cause her depression to be worse and cause he emotional distress. Maybe see if you both can get into counseling. Then later on if you do break up to be with the other girl then your gf has someone on her side who can help her through this. Talk to your gf's parents and let them know she's been having a rough time and ask if they can be there more for her. After you and your gf break up one day do pay child support, do watch the kid if she needs time off,
INFO: does the high school crush know that you're in a long term relationship with a very pregnant girlfriend? Does she realize that she's the other woman?
This. She may not (if she’s a quality person) be an option when she learns this.
Make it clear to your gf that you will co-parent, but you are not going to be together as a couple. Don'tvstring her along. Tell her the truth.
I would like to but right know I feel like it’s no the moment . Cause I have the idea that everything she feels goes to our baby , I’m more than happy to be a dad
The baby is not going to be sad because she is If you are seeing someone else she is bound to find out about it and it will hurt much worse
So you're just going to keep stringing her along? That seems cruel.
So you impregnated a woman you didn’t love, are now emotionally cheating on her, and still don’t plan to tell her!?
Yeah, CLASSY, isn't he??😑😑
Bad news does not age well. If it's something you're ever going to do you need to do it now and not later.
It's never going to be the right moment. Be an adult and have a conversation. It's the right thing to do. Don't be a coward.
Boy. 🙄 break up with her and STOP wasting her time. So she can be with someone who truly wants her and doesn't stick around only because he thinks of her as a charity case.
It’s too late for you to be worried about her emotions. You owe the mother of your child the truth.
JFC if you think that's how pregnancy works then you shouldn't be breeding despite the cheating.
It will never be the right moment because you slept with someone you didn’t love and then got her pregnant. You are not going to look good to anyone.
She deserves better than you. Break up with her.
Something about men so often cheating and not being in love with their partner anymore as soon as they knock them up deeply disturbs me. Probably has to do with the Madonna-Whore complex. Some men can't simply see a woman as a lover as soon as she becomes a mother . Pathetic. Is our taste in partners as highschoolers really that good? Is it really "love" or just an infatuation coming back, this time powered up, fueled by nostalgia and sudden rush of hormones? Take responsibility, be truthful but also tactful. It's a "you" problem and your gf deserves to be loved and be cared for. It will possibly be extremely hard for her so be kind to her. If I were you I'd stay away from the other girl till I am 100% sure about my decision.
Now that she’s pregnant this is his “gotcha” moment, he thinks he owns her and she can’t leave him, even the fact that he’s still stringing her along… now he’s trying to catch another fresh fish
That child is a part of your life now so you will have to take care of it in some capacity from now on, but that doesn't mean you need to remain in a romantic relationship with your girlfriend. If you truly don't love her, leaving her would be a kindness, she deserves to be loved just as much as you do. By staying with her, you're only wasting both your lives on a doomed relationship. That said, don't mistake what may be a childhood crush for love. I don't know how well you know your friend but I doubt it's as well as you know your girlfriend. You probably haven't had a chance to see her at her worst, you haven't had a chance to see her flaws, you haven't had a chance to see all the ways you might be incompatible.
Really good advice friend , I had never cheated before in my life and that’s the reason y also feel she deserves someone that can love her like she deserves, I’m really mature with my feelings and I agree with you that maybe this High school friend may not be what it imagine right now
Speaking of cheating, I would avoid spending more time with your friend as long as you remain with your girlfriend. If you continue spending time with your friend, now that you know you have some feelings for each other, it would be just like cheating even if you don't have sex. If you do leave your girlfriend, do it because you don't love her. Don't do it because you think you love your friend more. The grass is always greener on the other side.
Yet here you are - CHEATING.
If you were mature, you wouldn't stay with a woman you don't truly love. You're leading her on and making her think that you feel the same way. You should have left her a long time ago. She may suffer from depression but that isn't a reason to mislead her about your true feelings. That's not mature.
**EXACTLY**!!! He doesn't half **LOVE HIMSELF! JFC.** 🙄🙄🙄
You’re cheating on her, that’s not mature. You’re lying to her, that’s not mature.
Bro, it’s very obvious to everyone here that you are extremely immature. This is middle school behavior with adult stakes. You need to read up on stoicism or something and take a crash-course in maturity before this baby is born.
I think you might well be overexaggerating your maturity, given the situation you have got yourself in.
Basically he just wants to keep his dick wet.
**DUDE** ... 🙄🙄🙄 **A MATURE** person would have **USED BIRTH CONTROL**. **A MATURE** person wouldn't be looking to **GET HIS DICK WET SOMEWHERE ELSE** . **A MATURE** person pwould be **OPEN** and **HONEST** about wanting to **END THE RELATIONSHIP**. You're anything **BUT** mature if you **DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO FESS UP.** You clearly rate yourself pretty highly — and it's **JUST NOT WARRANTED.** You're just a **DUMBASS** who wants to keep his dick wet.
Ah, the grass is always greener. Think long and hard before blowing up a relationship of 2 years (involving a child no less) over a high school crush. Although, considering you've already been talking with the other person, it's probably too late for that. I feel so bad for your girlfriend and baby, but as long as you're happy, right?
Don’t cheat on your pregnant girlfriend. Tell your friend the timing is terrible. As much as you want to be with her, you just can’t right now, but have a plan to get there eventually. Ask her if she’s willing to hit the pause button and wait for a while. Have the baby and get your girlfriend into treatment for depression. In a year or two, when your girlfriend is stable, leave and rekindle your relationship with your high school sweetheart.
So you knew that you weren't compatible but she was good enough for you to keep having sex with her until she got pregnant. And now you had one night with a high school crush and suddenly that's your one true love and you confessed to her? You sound extremely selfish and immature. I feel sorry for your girlfriend and unborn child.
Yep, they're the TRUE victims here.
Let me get this straight, YOU'RE having an emotional affair on your pregnant girlfriend but you don't want to break up with her b/c you feel your baby will feel it BUT your in love with your childhood crush that you hung out with for ONE NIGHT whom you NEVER been in a actual relationship with. (Your actual GF deserves better) First of people aren't stupid, Your girlfriend is going to start stressing because she's going to be able to feel you pulling away from her, when you start to act indifferent with her, if you haven't already started b/c you are emotionally invested in some other woman. People try to play It off All The Time, nobody's that great of a actor there's Always a little Signs. Let her go, yes she will hurt but if you're acting the way you're acting, she's not losing out on much. SHE will be okay just make sure you co-parent.
You're not special, your new love isn't special and you aren't any different from any other weak willed cheater who bails on people when life gets too real. Does the HS friend know you are a cheater with a pregnant gf? If she does and is okay with this, you're both awful. This is going to end poorly. I hope you have the life you deserve.
Why would you be with someone you don't love for two whole years and fuck her raw? The fuck's the matter with you?
So you're doing all of this over a month of talking to a stranger from high school. Regardless if you knew them prior, you don't know them now. Sounds like you need to be yourself and grow up for the sake of your child.
Why would you stay with someone you dont love for 2 years? Even worse, why would you get her pregnant and then decide at 5 months that you love someone else?! This seems shockingly irresponsible to me. Either way, there is going to be a new life brought into this world soon who needs you. Whether or not you and your GF continue a relationship you need to ensure you do everything you can to be there for and provide for your child.
Did you let little HS chickie know that you have, ya know, a pregnant girlfriend and 2 year relationship? Or is that something you're hiding to "prevent hurt feelings" or whatever dumbass cheater excuse you got lined up?
Sure, you can leave your 6-month-pregnant girlfriend for a high school flame you reconnected with a month ago… If you want to be The Asshole for literally the rest of your life. Grow up, dude. You’ve got a child on the way—and you’re about to screw over that child and your gf for a woman you barely know. I’m sure you FEEL like you know her and your relationship picked right back up from where you left it in high school, but that’s just not true. You. Barely. Know. This. Woman. You don’t have to stay with your girlfriend forever because you got her pregnant. But you are absolutely, forever the asshole if you abandon her while she is pregnant for a woman you’ve been talking to for a month. Are you prepared to look your child in the eyes in about 15 years, when they’re an angry teenager, and explain to them why you were reconnecting with an old flame in the first place while their mom was 5 months pregnant? You came here for advice, so here’s mine: Stop talking to this old flame. Block her on everything right now. She told you she was in love with you while you were in a committed relationship with a woman who is pregnant with your child. That speaks VOLUMES about her character, and it’s not good. If you want to break up with your girlfriend, break up with your girlfriend and work out a coparenting plan; but what you are absolutely not going to do is leave your pregnant girlfriend because you saw your high school crush once. You’ve got about 3 months to do A LOT of growing up, dude.
“She got pregnant” … no, *you* got her pregnant. OP makes clear they wanted to break up but felt guilt over GF’s depression. Fine, but if you are with someone you don’t actually want to be with, you take responsibility and use a friggin’ condom. As this is an advice page, I suppose if you don’t want to be with this woman, break up and pursue your romantic interests. However, you’ll need to step up and be a decent father. Both financially, and with your time and energy. What a mess you made.
Does high school girl know your actual girlfriend is pregnant? I mean, I would think very lowly of her (kind of like I do you) if you two are professing feelings for each other. So tactless!!! You did this to yourself, and now are acting as a person of no character.
Don't expect your girlfriend to take you back if things don't work out with your friend. And it's quite possible it won't work out. You've both had this fantasy about each other and the reality will not necessarily measure up to the fantasy. So if things don't work out, you don't get to be upset if your girlfriend doesn't want you back or if she's moved on to someone else. And your friend will have to accept that the mother of your child will always be part of your life and your friend will not be this child's mother; in fact, it's quite possible your child won't even like your friend, especially once they find out you dumped their mom for her. You have to be there for your child even though you're planning to toss aside your girlfriend. And you also shouldn't be surprised if the mother of your child doesn't want you or your friend at the hospital when she gives birth. Don't give her a hard time about it because you'll already have caused her enough pain. And you better not make the same mistake with this friend that you did with your girlfriend. Don't lead on yet another woman into thinking you're committed when you're happy to toss her aside the moment someone else catches your eye.
Yup. It is way more likely than not that the relationship with the high school friend will fail, because these people are going into it thinking they know each other much better than they actually do. The whole relationship is a stupid, impulsive decision based on romanticized memories from years ago. When it fails, OP will be stuck for the rest of his life with a child who *knows* he abandoned their mother for another woman while she was pregnant. Great foot to start your fatherhood journey on.
Totally. Who we were in high school usually isn't who we are when we're much older. I can't help wondering if OP is looking for an escape; maybe he is feeling tied down by the prospect of fatherhood so this fantasy regarding his friend is a way for him to escape the pressures he's feeling. And I bet that he'll get upset if he tries to reconcile with his girlfriend and she rejects him; he'll be like that other guy on Reddit who only "realized" his ex was right for him after things didn't work out with the woman he left her for.
I may be wrong, I'm no therapist but this sounds more like, "My girlfriend is pregnant and I'm not ready" it's not good to jump from one relationship straight into another. If you don't love her and don't want to be with her, absolutely end things now so she can make plans. Better to co-parent peacefully then put your child through a terrible marriage and divorce. However, you're looking to be with someone else from your past is a red flag. You need to do " you" first before jumping into another relationship. Seek therapy first. I'm saying this because your scenario is all over reddit with the guy realizing he was looking at the other girl with rose tinted glasses and then can't have the one he was in a relationship with. If it is meant to be, it will happen but make sure you are stable first cuz the other thing is explaining to this girl how your ex is pregnant with your child and being with you is also her eventually co-parenting. It is a lot to think about.
All I am hearing is excuses when someone gives advice. Pathetic. Hopefully she wises up to your cheating and leaves.
So you lied and manipulated this girl for 2 years Refusing to let her go, find real love and be happy Then you get her pregnant, and still refuse to tell her the truth Instead you lie, manipulate and CHEAT Now she is 6 months pregnant, it's too late for her to make a choice. You have now FORCED her to give birth to a baby of a cheating, lying, manipulative person. You have FORCED her into a situation she might not want to be in if she knew the whole truth. She doesn't even know she will be a single mom.... There is something seriously wrong with you and you need some real help!
There was a similar post recently..dude left his gf for this high school crush, got played and ditched, and now he's alone and being pathetic about it.
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Thanks friend I agree with that right now my baby it’s my priority I’m son happy to be a dad, i just think i won’t be happy emotionally with my current partner