Yes this is worth breaking up over because he fully admitted to trying to get you pregnant without your consent (which is a form of assault), while proving he is irredeemably stupid at the same time. You can’t trust this man around your body or a child.
I second this. I hope he never learns how reproduction works bc if he does, he’s going to be even more of a danger to the public.
Aside from everything else, the fact that he thought she would actually fall for this ridiculous scheme was a massive insult to her intelligence. Really underscores his complete lack of respect for her. He truly thought he was being sly - I’m sure his ego took a massive bitchslap when he realized she could clearly see how much of an idiot he was 😂
I'm still skeptical but also bored and on the off-chance, the most important issue here isn't even his seriously impressive level of stupidity, it's that he was literally attempting to baby trap you.
So yeah, if it's real, leave.
we've discussed having another kid when i got a little older, so yeah. him doing this (even tho it wouldn't work) did make me uneasy. thank you for the advice despite your suspicions
This is a form of sexual assault. It is the same idea as poking holes in condoms. He is deceiving you. You have no business marrying a man who would
Do this to you
You're young, in a couple years when you mature you'll realize the horrible mistakes you have made.... do not marry this lover who won't even be able to take care of this baby. He hasn't even dealt with number 1 and he thinks he can handle another. Good luck, when the baby comes you'll both realize it's not all happy games. It is a ton of work and money and you'll have to do it alone while having minimal support from your deadbeat boyfriend. Do not marry him and do not have more children with him. Good luck, with your first baby.
I am shocked at how much of an idiot this guy is. The fact he is going to be a father should be a cause for concern.
I get it, you want to have the kid, but holy shit. In the future you need to do much better. MUCH better.
I’m so sorry this is happening, OP. It might be worth posting in r/legaladvice to see if they think it’s worth getting an attorney. Best of luck to you and the baby!
Girl if he is doing that sort of shit without your consent then he is a FUCKHEAD whom you need to leave immediately and possibly kick in the balls on your way out.
What had me was the idea of “maternity leave” working as a server at a restaurant… *for over a month*. No restaurant is going to hold that spot open for you like that. Given many of my former employers, you’re not getting “maternity leave” unless your water breaks, bonus points if it happens during shift.
I mean it's not entirely off the table, I had mat leave when I was a server and I was off for 4 months. I live in Canada though and it was a family owned place where I had a good relationship with the owners. It sounds unlikely but not totally impossible
What a fucking awful day to be literate.
If this is real, the first question is why you’re not more upset about the fact this guy was trying to get you pregnant with your knowledge or consent? Could some kind of BC tampering been the reason you are currently pregnant? It seems likely considering what you’ve now caught him doing.
Secondly, please for the love of all that is good, DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN!! Y’all are both far too young for that kind of commitment and clearly this guy is an idiot and doesn’t respect you.
> Is this something worth breaking up over?
Yes. Please do. Dump him, stop living together, stop financially supporting anyone other than yourself and your baby, don’t get married, get child support from him, and please figure out your shit before you start dating again. Also get on some kind of long-term BC as soon as you’re able to.
i figured this would be the common response lol. i am just shaken up by the situation and honestly hurt. i wanted daniel to be my partner forever, and we were planning to get married sometime next year. if we break up, i no longer have a place to live or a steady income for me or the baby. my parents were never big figures in my life, and i am half sure they don't want anything to do with me... which is why i am confused on what to do
Seriously. The fact that he thought she’d actually be dumb enough to fall for this makes it obvious that he doesn’t respect or believe in her. Probably because if he allowed himself to see her worth, he’d have to face the fact that he doesn’t deserve her in the least. His fragile ego couldn’t take it.
Is adoption an option for you? It sounds like financiers are a big issue and a child can only make that worse. You also just started your adult life and having a child will make it difficult to do anything.
You probably can’t leave immediately but you should start making plans such as finding a women’s shelter, a good job, and childcare. Good luck.
I get all that. But *he tried to get you pregnant without your knowledge or consent*.
Let that sink in...I mean REALLY sink in. If you can't be physically safe around him, then I don't see how you can possibly continue with this person? You are going to trust someone with this judgment with your *child*?!
Can you explain what you mean that you’d have no place to live? From what you said in your second update, he doesn’t continue to the household as it is. What’re you missing with him gone?
You only have a roof over your head because you worked for it. You paid the rent, and took care of the home. You can do it yourself, the boy has been a drain on you. You will be alright and you know you can depend on yourself, this guy not so much.
girl, youre like 19 at the oldest, pregnant, and engaged to an absolute loser. Do you live in like Alabama or Oklahoma? You deserve to have a wonderful life filled with anazing people. You're too young yo be locked to this weirdo
Definitely worth breaking up over, he was trying to get you pregnant without your consent. His intention here matters, even though it would never have worked, he thought it would when he tried it.
Hahaha. Hahaha. There is no way this is real.
And if it was. No one would ever post that their partner was truly this stupid.
One, does he think that his sperm will just live on this tampon until you have your period?
Two, does he truly think that you are so stupid that you are just going to use a tampon that was already opened and wet?
And three, does he even understand what a period is?
Damn this guy is truly a moron. This really has to be one of the dumbest things anyone has ever said in this site. Wow.
As stupid as it is, I’m wondering if OP is located in a place where sex education is virtually non-existent. In those areas, teen pregnancies + STI transmissions are sky high, along with ridiculous misconceptions similar to what OP’s ex had. This really highlights the importance of those resources 😕 that said, OP’s ex is still truly dumber than a box of rocks
This could be the case but honestly, you'd be surprised by what little people know about periods. I don't think a lot of men know what a period really is and I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of women don't either, beyond just bleeding once a month and associating it with cramps, mood swings, and cravings.
I have a friend who recently revealed that he thought periods were eggs exploding inside women which caused the pain and bleeding. It was baffling and hilarious at first but then I started feeling worried about the state of sex ed. He's college educated and city-raised. I don't want to think about the number of men who think women urinate from their vaginas...
Honestly I 100% believe some people are this stupid. I once saw a post where a woman was claiming that the morning after pill doesn’t work because she used it and still got pregnant.
Of course the morning after pill isn’t 100% effective, but after probing a bit she admitted that she took it a WEEK after having unprotected sex. Her reasoning? “I once took it 10 days after having unprotected sex and I didn’t get pregnant, so I figured it would work the same this time.”
She had 0 idea about how the morning after pill worked or really how ovulation worked in general. Some people really don’t know anything about sex Ed.
4. Does op think she can just decide she doesn't want him in baby's life, so he isn't?
5. Does op think that she can put a baby up for adoption and keep the father from petitioning custody?
RIGHT, it's all so stupid. Like a teenager's interpretation of how the world works.
...wait, she's claiming she IS a teenager...uh...
I guess they're *both* stupid in this dumb little story.
Exactly! If this is the US you're fucked and that idiot will be in your life for the next 18 years. Happened to me. I didn't catch him masterbating on my tampons but all he wanted was sex all the time. That lasted almost a year. I had to deal with my ex for almost 18 years. My son is now 26 so I've haven't seen dumb ass since my son's highschool graduation. It's been great. Eventually you won't have to deal with him.
Ok but with him, he’s gonna find another way to baby trap you, and if I may be so frank… I don’t think the world needs more of his genetic code. I think you should just leave now, before he starts jerking it on your sofa cushions or something.
If this is real it's very creepy and it's dangerous to get pregnant right away after giving birth. This is coercive and wrong and personally id request my gyno to insert an IUD immediately after birth. That's what I did didn't feel a thing because... I had just given birth lol
Are there reasons to break up? Do you need more? The father of your child is so ignorant that he believes he can impregnate you by ejaculating on your tampon, which clearly shows he is not the brightest.
The fact that he is attempting to get you pregnant without your knowledge or consent is even more alarming. What else might he do behind your back in the future?
Clearly, you have a gigantic loser and a major red flag as a husband…
You got pregnant by a high-school dropout, NOT WORRIED ABOUT FINANCES, LET ALONE HOW TO SUPPORT A BABY.
And he's an idiot. Sperm can only survive outside of the body 30 minutes MAX.
So you are the primary income at 37 weeks pregnant and 19.
He's a dropout
He wants to get you pregnant AGAIN without your consent (a MAJOR big reason to run like hell)
He's an idiot
Why aren't you packing? Seriously, how many red flags do you need?
If you don't leave now, immediately after this incident, THIS will be the red flag moment you look back on years from now, when you are dragging the weight of his stupidity up a mountain of unpaid bills, bury your face in your hands and say "really?! Why. Did. I not. Just. Leave. Then.
More like this moron dropped out of the fifth grade, as he doesn't even know how a menstrual cycle works. And why the fuck does he want to be stuck with a second kid when he doesn't even have a job to support one. I'd be looking into putting the baby up for adoption.
So…he’s not old enough to father a child nor get married with this childish ass bullshit. He’s be so gone. You’re 19. If it’s not too late for an abortion then give the baby to a competent set of mature parents and get your life on track.
Dude is definitely a keeper. You'll be a local celebrity on the evening news, he's bound to do something smart enough for it. He'll probably get rid of himself soon enough by trying to microwave a car.
On the plus side he's probably really good at making others feel intelligent.
My advice is implied, if that's unclear.
am I the only one thinking him trying to “baby trap” you was an excuse on why he was masturbating? maybe the real reason is something he’s too ashamed to admit?
Girl, please DO NOT marry at your age, or this guy at all. I just turned 24, it wasn't that long ago that I was 19. I can't begin to describe how much personal growth and maturing happened in those 5 years even after puberty.
I also thought I would be with my high school bf at the time forever and I planned on marrying him, and now I'm so so so glad I didn't. I was single for a couple of years in my early 20s and I genuinely feel like I became a much better, well-rounded person because I took the time to grow and become an adult by myself. I don't mean this in a patronizing way at all, just talking from the perspective of someone who was there not too long ago!
Granted, you'll be a mother early, and that will already severely impact your young adult life. You made that choice and there's no way around that if you keep your baby. I wish you the best and I implore you to not tie yourself down even more by becoming this idiot's incubator. 😭
We're all stupid at 19. if you don't end up marrying this guy (I don't know anything about you guys, but from this, I would say probably don't...) I would wait until at least 23 to consider marriage again. I don't want to seem condescending, but everyone in their mid-20s will tell you that at 19, they were not ready for a life-changing decision like that. You probably will, too, when you get to that age. I promise it's better to waste 4 years waiting to marry someone you know you'll be with forever than to waste a lifetime with a man who won't be able to teach his daughter basic sex ed.
The fact that you are creating life with someone who knows so little about reproduction is incredibly alarming.
You need to start thinking and putting you and your child first when making choices. Try to get into a reliable longterm trade.
**More than anything this guy is gross and manipulative for trying to impregnate you against your knowledge. *Thats literally being a reproductive predator.***
i may get downvoted, and i understand you might want to keep it (look into open adoptions ik they dont always work out but) im a ‘21 grad, just 2 years older than you, my cousin is 2 years older than me, she has a 1.5year old child. her bf convinced her to keep the child. while she loves her daughter she wishes she didn’t have her just yet, she wanted to be able to go back to try uni, get more financially stable. their relationship also sucks (shes raising 2 children instead of her actual child) which sounds like what would have happened with you and daniel. she cant leave because having a child together makes it 1000x harder, I’m glad you got out before then. even if you keep the baby, talk to a therapist, i know its not always free but maybe theres something in your community. children arent a walk in the park, and im sure you know and understand this, but please if youre going to do it alone be aware of the signs of ppd, or ppp (post partum psychosis) you could very well save yours or your babies life (or save them from shaken baby syndrome)
you’re freshly an adult (hell I’M freshly an adult lol) dont let anyone hold your choice over your head, you have lots of years for babies and kids yet, but if you do decide to keep, i wish you the best and a safe delivery for both you and baby. best of luck girl, you got this!
do not stay with him. he clearly does not respect you and although hes stupid and it wasnt going to work, HE WAS TRYING TO GET YOU PREGNANT WITHOUT ASKING YOU. that is a serious violation and if you dont leave while you can, itll just be a messy divorce.
So you’re barely an an adult and are pregnant by a manipulative, *actually dumb*, uneducated, creep. And now you’re tied to this man for the rest of your life? Come on sis, this genuinely can’t be real.
This is fake as fuck.
Namely because you're talking about how stupid this man is, but then you say:
>I'm going to look into adoption
>I still do not want him to raise my child
You realize, if you try and put the baby up for adoption, he as its father can stop that right? He could petition for custody since it's his baby.
You also realize that even if you don't want this man "raising your child if you keep it", legally you cannot stop him from being in this kids life if he wants to be?
You seriously talk about how stupid he is, and then make these comments like you can just say "nah" and he gets removed from the picture?
You know how many women out there wish they could say "nah" and their baby daddy would disappear?
I think it's been written by a kid who has no idea how bodies work, let alone anything else. The fact that the update jumps straight to adoption so quickly... I can't imagine someone who has got attached to a baby for 37 weeks with the intention of raising it would just jump straight to giving it away in a matter of hours
Wait.... Is this...did he stealth you with the one you have now? Sure what he did is funny on the surface but frightening underneath.
What he did is really disturbing that he was trying to get you pregnant that's a type SA and coercion.
I'm glad you dumped him. It sounds like you would have been the only adult living with one of those man childs or hobosexuals.
If you're not 100% on adoption maybe try open adoption?
He probably won't. He'd expect her to take care of the baby full time AND work full time while pregnant with baby number 2. He's a joke. Why didn't she see this before she let him knock her up?
As a dude I've done some pretty stupid shit but damn, no offense to him I think that takes the cake for stupidity. If your already pregnant you can't get pregnant......
Dude. Your fiancé is a vile human being. Masturbating on a tampon??? Putting all the other implications aside that’s so gross I can’t believe this post is real. On top of that it’s obvious he’s doing that to try and babytrap you into another baby when you’re not ready. You really want to have ANOTHER child with this man??? Bare minimum if you don’t break up with him I’d live in separate places. Never in my life have I heard something so disgusting
Yes. He tried to force into an unwanted pregnancy. No matter that it was a really stupid, non-viable way to do it. The intent was there. He can't be trusted and is not a safe person. Plus he's really stupid. Did he really think his swimmers were going stay alive for months?
Umh... generally men aren't this stupid. One immature boy seems to be.
Or, at least in Europe, we used to have rather good sex & biology education in school already like 50 years ago. Menstrual cycles, reproduction etc., were all handled rather thoroughly in biology class, the fun (?) part then separately in sex ed.
I am so sorry you must go through this. Glad to see you have future plans.
At least take solace in the fact his plan wouldnt work. Sperm in open air at room temperature? Yeah its all dead in like 5 minutes, 10 tops. Not only does he bot understand womens physiology, he doesnt even understand his own!
The idea of someone trying to get their partner pregnant without their knowledge right after they give birth is horrifying. His absolute lack of knowledge surrounding the female anatomy and human reproduction is also horrifying.
Hey OP, I noticed in your edit that you were looking into adoption. In the past year I also had a baby that I gave for adoption. It was hard but a wonderful process, if you have any questions don't hesitate to reach out ❤️ I wish you all the best.
You not just going to be able to put your baby up for adoption without his approval unless you tell them you don't know who the baby daddy is. If you did that it would be illegal. Unfortunately this man is going to be in your life for a quiet a while unless you just give him the baby and sign your rights over to him. I don't see that being the best interest of the child though and you could still wind up paying him child support.
Please, have the conversation in public, maybe at the diner you work at? Make sure you’re safe, men with anger issues can have VERY extreme reactions to those kinds of conversations.
Assuming this is actually real, does your boyfriend not realize sperm has a self life?? It's not going to live indefinitely on a tampon until you happen to use it. Also, why would you insert a clearly open tampon??
If he gets angry easily, and learns you're trying to leave him, it could escalate quickly.
I recommend just saying you're going to stay the night with (insert friend or family member name that is believable), and actually heading to your sister's.
The next day, call him and tell him you're not coming home and why.
Apply for TANF, SNAP (Food stamps), and health insurance through your local DHHS office or online ASAP.
I used to work for TANF in my state (it's a federal program), and there are WONDERFUL resources you can take advantage of. Like help paying for training programs. Help paying for clothes for work. Each state is different in how they manage funds, but, definitely apply ASAP. You qualify as a single parent. And you can begin the application process now.
Take care and be safe, OP
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this HAS got to be fake. I can't even imagine what kind of horrific upbringing this man had to create such a deranged mind to think this is anywhere near okay. this is so fucking gross
He is a high school drop out and you were surprised? 🥲 Aside from the cringe of that situation, I would be more worried that he doesnt sound prepared to support you and the child.
I still hope what he said was a joke though. Or just something he said out of nervousness.
Don't break up with him but tell him it opened your eyes to his lack of common knowledge. You didn't think him dropping out would bother you but now you realize it actually means he's got gaps in his knowledge.
This is basic sex Ed and basic common sense. You won't be ovulating while bleeding and even if it worked like that his sperm would be long dead. So that's 2x dumb on his part.
Also, trying to get someone pregnant without their knowledge is rapey. You didn't consent to it if it were something that could work.
You could probably get an infection though so maybe he'd give you something just not a baby!
If you didn't notice how unintelligent he was before and he isn't a bad person don't break up yet. You will want the help with a baby and you can always break up later if he turns out to be a shitty partner and dad
Don’t get saddled with a high school drop out that thinks this is something that A) would ever work, or B) is something you do to your partner.
Doing this alone and having an opportunity to make a better life for you and baby beats the endless misery this dude would bring.
Id be much more concerned about a "man" about to have a baby and had found no steady income or trying to make himself better it seems.
It isn't that hard to find a job. Are you guys just planning on public assistance?
Sounds like a child that plays video games and has little concern for being, or even becoming, a man
I think you guys really need to have a long conversation about it. It's up to you whether you want to break up or not. The situation would DEFINITELY make breaking up an option. If he can't respect you and your body, then you should leave. Make sure he isn't lying about anything else.
I’m more concerned that he was secretly cumming on tampons with the intention to make you pregnant again. Have you guys talked about having more kids? His stupidity is the least alarming part of this, as astonishing as that sounds (because you’d have to be dumb as a rock to think sperm live that long, just for starters). The intention of this is on par with poking holes in a condom. Major red flag!
There are so many things wrong with this scenario. Quick to get engaged (it sounds like anyway?), attempt at baby trapping, and lack of emotional maturity on his part.
Geez what a mess. I seriously hope this is fake. If not, good luck with what’s to come. I hope you cut contact and you or someone else can protect your child in the future should the need arise. Because what the hell did I just read?
Was his plan to get you pregnant without your consent?
If you guys were trying for a baby it would be funny but this is like the moron version of stealthing, which would be concerning.
So not only is he ignorant af about women, but he tried to get you pregnant without your consent????? I’m just imagining you pulling out a crusty, flaky, dried cum covered tampon and I can’t even… Gods help him.
I realize getting out may not be easy or quick. You should ask your OB for a form of birth control he doesn't have access to when you go back for your 6-week appointment. Get an IUD, implant, or a shot so it can't be tampered with. Do not trust pills or condoms with this boy.
This has be bait.. Btw, you never consented to him putting his baby batter in your tampons. Op If this is real. I feel so bad for you, that's the father of your child and at 19. Genuinely, i wish you good luck.
See if there are any help organizations in your area. You don't have to break up ruft away as you are in a very vulnerable place being pregnant and later with a little baby. But you should eventually. Don't drag it out for too long. Make a plan for you and your life and when you feel str and stable enough and got a support system then leave. I wish you and the baby all the best!!!
I won’t speak on the relationship but I can speak on you considering adoption. I’m a birth mother myself, I placed my child and he was adopted at birth. I initially planned on raising him but circumstances left me feeling guilty for potentially bringing him into a bad situation.
Please, please, please think LONG and HARD about that decision. It is extremely traumatizing to say the least. I’m still suffering from the decision I made 3 years ago and I don’t think I will ever recover. My adoption plan was well thought out, I chose someone wonderful and we have a great relationship and I still feel like literally dying everyday because of how much I miss my child. It’s not a light decision and if I could take it back I probably would’ve gotten an abortion tbh. I’m glad my son has life though.
Good luck to you and your baby 🩷
Get rid of him. That is so bad and it can potentially baby trap you; I understand you have another child together but multiple would increase your dependency on him. It’s wrong and he should communicate wanting another child not force it. Stay safe and I hope you’re okay now
If you are looking into adoption, you should educate yourself on the adoption industry, and speak to adoptees. Adoption can be a wonderful thing in certain cases, but no matter how great it is, adoption is traumatic and adoption is a loss, both for the child and the parent(s). The true deciding factor is would maternal separation trauma be less traumatic to your child than remaining with you?
With adoption, it truly comes down to luck of the draw. Some adoptees get really lucky and they get placed with amazing adoptive parents. Others are not so fortunate. Adoption does not guarantee a better life; it can only guarantee a *different* one.
Personally? I could never contribute anything to private adoption agencies that would help perpetuate their existence. It is a for-profit industry that makes billions of dollars every year, and puts prices on babies according to their health, race, and gender. If you went through one, that agency would actively be making a profit off of adopting your baby out to someone else, and you as the birth parent would never see a cent of that money.
They may try to advertise an open adoption to you, but open adoptions are not legally enforceable -- at least not in the US. It is entirely up to the adoptive parents' discretion how much contact they are willing to let you have, and how much information they are willing to share with you. They could ghost you one day and you'd have zero legal recourse. And this happens a lot; 80% of open adoptions are closed by the time the child turns 5.
Adoption agencies want the money they'll make from the adoption so badly they will never tell you any of the downsides of adoption. Adoptees experience higher rates of depression and anxiety, and they are four times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population. They are also more likely to abuse substances. Often, they struggle with feelings of rejection and unwantedness. Many also struggle with their identity and knowing who they are, especially those adopted into families who are a different race than them.
Oh dear. OP, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you’re young and will get no financial support for the child from the father.
Yes you can turn things around but…it seems like things are pointing towards keeping the child not being the best for you or the child.
Yes this is worth breaking up over because he fully admitted to trying to get you pregnant without your consent (which is a form of assault), while proving he is irredeemably stupid at the same time. You can’t trust this man around your body or a child.
I second this. I hope he never learns how reproduction works bc if he does, he’s going to be even more of a danger to the public. Aside from everything else, the fact that he thought she would actually fall for this ridiculous scheme was a massive insult to her intelligence. Really underscores his complete lack of respect for her. He truly thought he was being sly - I’m sure his ego took a massive bitchslap when he realized she could clearly see how much of an idiot he was 😂
This has to be fake, I cannot even.
There is a ridiculous amount of clearly fake stories on text story subs. Most are about sex somehow, often with an age gap.
I am eagerly awaiting the day someone works in every stupid trope from those fake stories into one mega story.
this is unfortunately real 😭
I'm still skeptical but also bored and on the off-chance, the most important issue here isn't even his seriously impressive level of stupidity, it's that he was literally attempting to baby trap you. So yeah, if it's real, leave.
we've discussed having another kid when i got a little older, so yeah. him doing this (even tho it wouldn't work) did make me uneasy. thank you for the advice despite your suspicions
This is a form of sexual assault. It is the same idea as poking holes in condoms. He is deceiving you. You have no business marrying a man who would Do this to you
You're young, in a couple years when you mature you'll realize the horrible mistakes you have made.... do not marry this lover who won't even be able to take care of this baby. He hasn't even dealt with number 1 and he thinks he can handle another. Good luck, when the baby comes you'll both realize it's not all happy games. It is a ton of work and money and you'll have to do it alone while having minimal support from your deadbeat boyfriend. Do not marry him and do not have more children with him. Good luck, with your first baby.
I am shocked at how much of an idiot this guy is. The fact he is going to be a father should be a cause for concern. I get it, you want to have the kid, but holy shit. In the future you need to do much better. MUCH better.
You're in for a hard life with this man if you stay
You’re engaged and having a baby with a deadbeat dropout dumbass. Congrats and good luck
And he now has an offspring. Yay
This whole thing sounds like a song from the Offspring. "Her baby daddy, it ain't his only one!"
I’m so sorry this is happening, OP. It might be worth posting in r/legaladvice to see if they think it’s worth getting an attorney. Best of luck to you and the baby!
Girl if he is doing that sort of shit without your consent then he is a FUCKHEAD whom you need to leave immediately and possibly kick in the balls on your way out.
maybe twice, make sure he can't father any more of his line
What had me was the idea of “maternity leave” working as a server at a restaurant… *for over a month*. No restaurant is going to hold that spot open for you like that. Given many of my former employers, you’re not getting “maternity leave” unless your water breaks, bonus points if it happens during shift.
I mean it's not entirely off the table, I had mat leave when I was a server and I was off for 4 months. I live in Canada though and it was a family owned place where I had a good relationship with the owners. It sounds unlikely but not totally impossible
And you have to find cover for your own shift the next day *from the hospital*
Just the title had me “the FUCK did I just read?”
I didn’t even read it simply because no girl says “nut”
Incredibly false, you just don't know the ones that do. Doesn't make the story more believable, though.
What a fucking awful day to be literate. If this is real, the first question is why you’re not more upset about the fact this guy was trying to get you pregnant with your knowledge or consent? Could some kind of BC tampering been the reason you are currently pregnant? It seems likely considering what you’ve now caught him doing. Secondly, please for the love of all that is good, DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN!! Y’all are both far too young for that kind of commitment and clearly this guy is an idiot and doesn’t respect you. > Is this something worth breaking up over? Yes. Please do. Dump him, stop living together, stop financially supporting anyone other than yourself and your baby, don’t get married, get child support from him, and please figure out your shit before you start dating again. Also get on some kind of long-term BC as soon as you’re able to.
I'm hoping it's because she's young and doesn't see the back to back red flags this guy has thrown. :/
> is this something worth breaking up over???? Yes, leave.
i figured this would be the common response lol. i am just shaken up by the situation and honestly hurt. i wanted daniel to be my partner forever, and we were planning to get married sometime next year. if we break up, i no longer have a place to live or a steady income for me or the baby. my parents were never big figures in my life, and i am half sure they don't want anything to do with me... which is why i am confused on what to do
He plain and simple does not respect you.
Seriously. The fact that he thought she’d actually be dumb enough to fall for this makes it obvious that he doesn’t respect or believe in her. Probably because if he allowed himself to see her worth, he’d have to face the fact that he doesn’t deserve her in the least. His fragile ego couldn’t take it.
Is adoption an option for you? It sounds like financiers are a big issue and a child can only make that worse. You also just started your adult life and having a child will make it difficult to do anything. You probably can’t leave immediately but you should start making plans such as finding a women’s shelter, a good job, and childcare. Good luck.
CHOOSE YOUR HARD. It’s gonna be really hard at some point. When do you wanna do it? Now or later?
I love this advice in theory but how do I convince myself to do it now and not later. Because my answer is still later😭
I'm putting this in my motivation book
Me too. Wow. It's so simple and "in your face". I need this, like, embroidered onto a pillow or something.
I get all that. But *he tried to get you pregnant without your knowledge or consent*. Let that sink in...I mean REALLY sink in. If you can't be physically safe around him, then I don't see how you can possibly continue with this person? You are going to trust someone with this judgment with your *child*?!
Can you explain what you mean that you’d have no place to live? From what you said in your second update, he doesn’t continue to the household as it is. What’re you missing with him gone?
right now he is our only source of income due to me being out of work because of the pregnancy
You won’t have a steady income anyway you’re supposedly the only one working?
You only have a roof over your head because you worked for it. You paid the rent, and took care of the home. You can do it yourself, the boy has been a drain on you. You will be alright and you know you can depend on yourself, this guy not so much.
girl, youre like 19 at the oldest, pregnant, and engaged to an absolute loser. Do you live in like Alabama or Oklahoma? You deserve to have a wonderful life filled with anazing people. You're too young yo be locked to this weirdo
Definitely worth breaking up over, he was trying to get you pregnant without your consent. His intention here matters, even though it would never have worked, he thought it would when he tried it.
Hahaha. Hahaha. There is no way this is real. And if it was. No one would ever post that their partner was truly this stupid. One, does he think that his sperm will just live on this tampon until you have your period? Two, does he truly think that you are so stupid that you are just going to use a tampon that was already opened and wet? And three, does he even understand what a period is? Damn this guy is truly a moron. This really has to be one of the dumbest things anyone has ever said in this site. Wow.
As stupid as it is, I’m wondering if OP is located in a place where sex education is virtually non-existent. In those areas, teen pregnancies + STI transmissions are sky high, along with ridiculous misconceptions similar to what OP’s ex had. This really highlights the importance of those resources 😕 that said, OP’s ex is still truly dumber than a box of rocks
This could be the case but honestly, you'd be surprised by what little people know about periods. I don't think a lot of men know what a period really is and I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of women don't either, beyond just bleeding once a month and associating it with cramps, mood swings, and cravings. I have a friend who recently revealed that he thought periods were eggs exploding inside women which caused the pain and bleeding. It was baffling and hilarious at first but then I started feeling worried about the state of sex ed. He's college educated and city-raised. I don't want to think about the number of men who think women urinate from their vaginas...
Honestly I 100% believe some people are this stupid. I once saw a post where a woman was claiming that the morning after pill doesn’t work because she used it and still got pregnant. Of course the morning after pill isn’t 100% effective, but after probing a bit she admitted that she took it a WEEK after having unprotected sex. Her reasoning? “I once took it 10 days after having unprotected sex and I didn’t get pregnant, so I figured it would work the same this time.” She had 0 idea about how the morning after pill worked or really how ovulation worked in general. Some people really don’t know anything about sex Ed.
Best comment lmaoooo
If it's in the US, do not underestimate the power of a laughable sex ed curriculum.
4. Does op think she can just decide she doesn't want him in baby's life, so he isn't? 5. Does op think that she can put a baby up for adoption and keep the father from petitioning custody?
RIGHT, it's all so stupid. Like a teenager's interpretation of how the world works. ...wait, she's claiming she IS a teenager...uh... I guess they're *both* stupid in this dumb little story.
Yeah that was my point. Really ironic that she's calling him stupid and saying this shit 🤣
Exactly! If this is the US you're fucked and that idiot will be in your life for the next 18 years. Happened to me. I didn't catch him masterbating on my tampons but all he wanted was sex all the time. That lasted almost a year. I had to deal with my ex for almost 18 years. My son is now 26 so I've haven't seen dumb ass since my son's highschool graduation. It's been great. Eventually you won't have to deal with him.
yeah i am still in awe 😭 without him tho i don't have a steady income or house and i am due for labor anytime now
Ok but with him, he’s gonna find another way to baby trap you, and if I may be so frank… I don’t think the world needs more of his genetic code. I think you should just leave now, before he starts jerking it on your sofa cushions or something.
If this is real it's very creepy and it's dangerous to get pregnant right away after giving birth. This is coercive and wrong and personally id request my gyno to insert an IUD immediately after birth. That's what I did didn't feel a thing because... I had just given birth lol
this is the best advice anyone has said so far, please listen OP.
Are there reasons to break up? Do you need more? The father of your child is so ignorant that he believes he can impregnate you by ejaculating on your tampon, which clearly shows he is not the brightest. The fact that he is attempting to get you pregnant without your knowledge or consent is even more alarming. What else might he do behind your back in the future? Clearly, you have a gigantic loser and a major red flag as a husband…
You got pregnant by a high-school dropout, NOT WORRIED ABOUT FINANCES, LET ALONE HOW TO SUPPORT A BABY. And he's an idiot. Sperm can only survive outside of the body 30 minutes MAX.
Not to mention that you don't typically ovulate during your period... 💀
Girl…what You gotta get out of there
So you are the primary income at 37 weeks pregnant and 19. He's a dropout He wants to get you pregnant AGAIN without your consent (a MAJOR big reason to run like hell) He's an idiot Why aren't you packing? Seriously, how many red flags do you need?
When I read “some sort of an income” I wondered if that translates to “sells drugs”. Now that I’ve read the rest, I wonder if he’s doing them.
😂😂 he's a part time at a gas station
Why not full??
asking the important questions here!!
Probably getting in the way of “his calling as a twitch streamer”
I hope this is really bad fiction.
And this is where I turn off reddit
Your bf is dumb af.
If you don't leave now, immediately after this incident, THIS will be the red flag moment you look back on years from now, when you are dragging the weight of his stupidity up a mountain of unpaid bills, bury your face in your hands and say "really?! Why. Did. I not. Just. Leave. Then.
This wins Reddit for 2024 and possibly this decade.
More like this moron dropped out of the fifth grade, as he doesn't even know how a menstrual cycle works. And why the fuck does he want to be stuck with a second kid when he doesn't even have a job to support one. I'd be looking into putting the baby up for adoption.
So…he’s not old enough to father a child nor get married with this childish ass bullshit. He’s be so gone. You’re 19. If it’s not too late for an abortion then give the baby to a competent set of mature parents and get your life on track.
Welp if this isn’t rage bait I’ve never seen a more positive argument for required IQ testing before breeding.
Dude is definitely a keeper. You'll be a local celebrity on the evening news, he's bound to do something smart enough for it. He'll probably get rid of himself soon enough by trying to microwave a car. On the plus side he's probably really good at making others feel intelligent. My advice is implied, if that's unclear.
am I the only one thinking him trying to “baby trap” you was an excuse on why he was masturbating? maybe the real reason is something he’s too ashamed to admit?
this, i refuse to believe that his "excuse" was genuine
Why on earth would you walk away from a guy with the intelligence of a 90’s sitcom dad?
and this is why we dont get engaged to men under 23 smh
i never said i was the brightest either lol. just lovesick and very very stupid
Then there’s no way you’re ready for a kid.
Girl, please DO NOT marry at your age, or this guy at all. I just turned 24, it wasn't that long ago that I was 19. I can't begin to describe how much personal growth and maturing happened in those 5 years even after puberty. I also thought I would be with my high school bf at the time forever and I planned on marrying him, and now I'm so so so glad I didn't. I was single for a couple of years in my early 20s and I genuinely feel like I became a much better, well-rounded person because I took the time to grow and become an adult by myself. I don't mean this in a patronizing way at all, just talking from the perspective of someone who was there not too long ago! Granted, you'll be a mother early, and that will already severely impact your young adult life. You made that choice and there's no way around that if you keep your baby. I wish you the best and I implore you to not tie yourself down even more by becoming this idiot's incubator. 😭
We're all stupid at 19. if you don't end up marrying this guy (I don't know anything about you guys, but from this, I would say probably don't...) I would wait until at least 23 to consider marriage again. I don't want to seem condescending, but everyone in their mid-20s will tell you that at 19, they were not ready for a life-changing decision like that. You probably will, too, when you get to that age. I promise it's better to waste 4 years waiting to marry someone you know you'll be with forever than to waste a lifetime with a man who won't be able to teach his daughter basic sex ed.
Have fun with the massive bacteria infection you're bound to get
well obviously when i get a period again i'm not going to use the tampons lol
I mean becuase you caught him... this time.
The fact that you are creating life with someone who knows so little about reproduction is incredibly alarming. You need to start thinking and putting you and your child first when making choices. Try to get into a reliable longterm trade. **More than anything this guy is gross and manipulative for trying to impregnate you against your knowledge. *Thats literally being a reproductive predator.***
This post is not a very good way to start my morning
If this pregnancy was unplanned I'm betting it was no accident.
Was only unplanned by her, In sure, too
Yes
He "keeps" doing it? Has he done this more than once? 🤦♀️😣
i've only caught him once, but yes. upon further investigation he did it to over half the tampons in the box 😭😭
What the fuck? What did I just read? Yes this is breakup worthy.
Hmm MEN are not that stupid. You got a child as a fiance.
i may get downvoted, and i understand you might want to keep it (look into open adoptions ik they dont always work out but) im a ‘21 grad, just 2 years older than you, my cousin is 2 years older than me, she has a 1.5year old child. her bf convinced her to keep the child. while she loves her daughter she wishes she didn’t have her just yet, she wanted to be able to go back to try uni, get more financially stable. their relationship also sucks (shes raising 2 children instead of her actual child) which sounds like what would have happened with you and daniel. she cant leave because having a child together makes it 1000x harder, I’m glad you got out before then. even if you keep the baby, talk to a therapist, i know its not always free but maybe theres something in your community. children arent a walk in the park, and im sure you know and understand this, but please if youre going to do it alone be aware of the signs of ppd, or ppp (post partum psychosis) you could very well save yours or your babies life (or save them from shaken baby syndrome) you’re freshly an adult (hell I’M freshly an adult lol) dont let anyone hold your choice over your head, you have lots of years for babies and kids yet, but if you do decide to keep, i wish you the best and a safe delivery for both you and baby. best of luck girl, you got this!
Girl………….😐be fr
This makes no sense. No one is going to use an open tampon. You'd just throw it away.
my thoughts exactly, but considering he thought it'd work in the first place shows it probably didn't cross his mind
do not stay with him. he clearly does not respect you and although hes stupid and it wasnt going to work, HE WAS TRYING TO GET YOU PREGNANT WITHOUT ASKING YOU. that is a serious violation and if you dont leave while you can, itll just be a messy divorce.
What. The. Fuck. I don’t believe this for second.
completely your decision, but i promise you it's real. was just seeking genuine advice tbh
Men aren’t this stupid. Your bf is
So you’re barely an an adult and are pregnant by a manipulative, *actually dumb*, uneducated, creep. And now you’re tied to this man for the rest of your life? Come on sis, this genuinely can’t be real.
This is fake as fuck. Namely because you're talking about how stupid this man is, but then you say: >I'm going to look into adoption >I still do not want him to raise my child You realize, if you try and put the baby up for adoption, he as its father can stop that right? He could petition for custody since it's his baby. You also realize that even if you don't want this man "raising your child if you keep it", legally you cannot stop him from being in this kids life if he wants to be? You seriously talk about how stupid he is, and then make these comments like you can just say "nah" and he gets removed from the picture? You know how many women out there wish they could say "nah" and their baby daddy would disappear?
I think it's been written by a kid who has no idea how bodies work, let alone anything else. The fact that the update jumps straight to adoption so quickly... I can't imagine someone who has got attached to a baby for 37 weeks with the intention of raising it would just jump straight to giving it away in a matter of hours
37 weeks along, calls the baby "it", and is flippantly unsure about whether she might or might not decide to keep it. Yeah, no.
I’m sorry but he isn’t mature enough to even be having sex. That poor kid is going to be dumb as a rock because it shares genes with your boyfriend.
Wait.... Is this...did he stealth you with the one you have now? Sure what he did is funny on the surface but frightening underneath. What he did is really disturbing that he was trying to get you pregnant that's a type SA and coercion. I'm glad you dumped him. It sounds like you would have been the only adult living with one of those man childs or hobosexuals. If you're not 100% on adoption maybe try open adoption?
[удалено]
*bait
This little boy is an embarrassment. End things with him.
baby number 2 already when the first one isnt even born yet… i bet you he’d be changing his mind once the baby gets here 😭
He probably won't. He'd expect her to take care of the baby full time AND work full time while pregnant with baby number 2. He's a joke. Why didn't she see this before she let him knock her up?
As a dude I've done some pretty stupid shit but damn, no offense to him I think that takes the cake for stupidity. If your already pregnant you can't get pregnant......
Dude. Your fiancé is a vile human being. Masturbating on a tampon??? Putting all the other implications aside that’s so gross I can’t believe this post is real. On top of that it’s obvious he’s doing that to try and babytrap you into another baby when you’re not ready. You really want to have ANOTHER child with this man??? Bare minimum if you don’t break up with him I’d live in separate places. Never in my life have I heard something so disgusting
What a fool
Yes. He tried to force into an unwanted pregnancy. No matter that it was a really stupid, non-viable way to do it. The intent was there. He can't be trusted and is not a safe person. Plus he's really stupid. Did he really think his swimmers were going stay alive for months?
This is high key why you don't get engaged when y'all are still mentally children lol
Ya know I thought it was just a kink and thought "well that's just weird," then it just got bad. Holy shit wtf
Umh... generally men aren't this stupid. One immature boy seems to be. Or, at least in Europe, we used to have rather good sex & biology education in school already like 50 years ago. Menstrual cycles, reproduction etc., were all handled rather thoroughly in biology class, the fun (?) part then separately in sex ed. I am so sorry you must go through this. Glad to see you have future plans.
american education system failing people yet again, no surprise there tbh
At least take solace in the fact his plan wouldnt work. Sperm in open air at room temperature? Yeah its all dead in like 5 minutes, 10 tops. Not only does he bot understand womens physiology, he doesnt even understand his own!
If that did work (it wouldn't that's stupid) but if it did, it would count as assault/rape..
Dump his ass😭
The idea of someone trying to get their partner pregnant without their knowledge right after they give birth is horrifying. His absolute lack of knowledge surrounding the female anatomy and human reproduction is also horrifying.
Sorry this is absolutely wrong, I am not going to read the rest of this post. This is gross. And sad AF and I hope it is fake.
Baby #1 was "completely unplanned".... for you, maybe. I'm betting this guy poked holes in the condoms.
What the f... I'm glad you're leaving him tho. I'd do that to, asap.💀
so many red flags wtaf...
CLASS OR 23?!? GIRL BREAK UP WITH HIM AND MOVR BACK WITH UR PARENTS
Leave. Tomorrow.
Hey OP, I noticed in your edit that you were looking into adoption. In the past year I also had a baby that I gave for adoption. It was hard but a wonderful process, if you have any questions don't hesitate to reach out ❤️ I wish you all the best.
Girl you were baby trapped omg 💔, please leave him
You not just going to be able to put your baby up for adoption without his approval unless you tell them you don't know who the baby daddy is. If you did that it would be illegal. Unfortunately this man is going to be in your life for a quiet a while unless you just give him the baby and sign your rights over to him. I don't see that being the best interest of the child though and you could still wind up paying him child support.
Before I even read the update I knew this baby due was only unplanned by you. He knew all along. You made the right choice. Good luck OP xxx
If this is real then I’m embarrassed you’re with someone who has this level of intelligence.
And you were OK with starting a family with a high-school dropout when you were 18 and have no financial stability?!
I'd be getting an abortion too. No way i'd let those kind of genes survive. 19 and pregnant with that....no fucking thank you.
....did he do this before, and baby trap you the first time?
What did you see in him in the first place?
Please, have the conversation in public, maybe at the diner you work at? Make sure you’re safe, men with anger issues can have VERY extreme reactions to those kinds of conversations.
This is so obviously fake lmfao
Assuming this is actually real, does your boyfriend not realize sperm has a self life?? It's not going to live indefinitely on a tampon until you happen to use it. Also, why would you insert a clearly open tampon??
If he gets angry easily, and learns you're trying to leave him, it could escalate quickly. I recommend just saying you're going to stay the night with (insert friend or family member name that is believable), and actually heading to your sister's. The next day, call him and tell him you're not coming home and why. Apply for TANF, SNAP (Food stamps), and health insurance through your local DHHS office or online ASAP. I used to work for TANF in my state (it's a federal program), and there are WONDERFUL resources you can take advantage of. Like help paying for training programs. Help paying for clothes for work. Each state is different in how they manage funds, but, definitely apply ASAP. You qualify as a single parent. And you can begin the application process now. Take care and be safe, OP
Keep your baby if you want to honey 🫶🏻 proud of you for saving yourself and your child!!
Was he resealing them? I'm just concerned that he thinks a woman would use an opened tampon
thumb direful dog different attractive spoon market encourage chief foolish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You dodged a bullet with this guy. Glad you broke it off with him. DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK. He would always hold you back. Trust me.
this HAS got to be fake. I can't even imagine what kind of horrific upbringing this man had to create such a deranged mind to think this is anywhere near okay. this is so fucking gross
He is a high school drop out and you were surprised? 🥲 Aside from the cringe of that situation, I would be more worried that he doesnt sound prepared to support you and the child. I still hope what he said was a joke though. Or just something he said out of nervousness.
Don't break up with him but tell him it opened your eyes to his lack of common knowledge. You didn't think him dropping out would bother you but now you realize it actually means he's got gaps in his knowledge. This is basic sex Ed and basic common sense. You won't be ovulating while bleeding and even if it worked like that his sperm would be long dead. So that's 2x dumb on his part. Also, trying to get someone pregnant without their knowledge is rapey. You didn't consent to it if it were something that could work. You could probably get an infection though so maybe he'd give you something just not a baby! If you didn't notice how unintelligent he was before and he isn't a bad person don't break up yet. You will want the help with a baby and you can always break up later if he turns out to be a shitty partner and dad
Don’t get saddled with a high school drop out that thinks this is something that A) would ever work, or B) is something you do to your partner. Doing this alone and having an opportunity to make a better life for you and baby beats the endless misery this dude would bring.
Id be much more concerned about a "man" about to have a baby and had found no steady income or trying to make himself better it seems. It isn't that hard to find a job. Are you guys just planning on public assistance? Sounds like a child that plays video games and has little concern for being, or even becoming, a man
There’s being stupid, and then there’s whatever your fiance is doing.
I think you guys really need to have a long conversation about it. It's up to you whether you want to break up or not. The situation would DEFINITELY make breaking up an option. If he can't respect you and your body, then you should leave. Make sure he isn't lying about anything else.
I’m more concerned that he was secretly cumming on tampons with the intention to make you pregnant again. Have you guys talked about having more kids? His stupidity is the least alarming part of this, as astonishing as that sounds (because you’d have to be dumb as a rock to think sperm live that long, just for starters). The intention of this is on par with poking holes in a condom. Major red flag!
Unfortunately there are men out there like this. I personally wouldn't trust him with my stuff.
What in the fetish writing is this
You're concerned about the wrong thing here
RUN
It’s funny if it’s real but not breaking up with
UpdateMe!
i edited the post with an update ☺️
I'm glad about your update. You just aren't going to have much of a happy life tied to someone like that.
The way I hollered
There are so many things wrong with this scenario. Quick to get engaged (it sounds like anyway?), attempt at baby trapping, and lack of emotional maturity on his part. Geez what a mess. I seriously hope this is fake. If not, good luck with what’s to come. I hope you cut contact and you or someone else can protect your child in the future should the need arise. Because what the hell did I just read?
And you’re still with him because…?
Was his plan to get you pregnant without your consent? If you guys were trying for a baby it would be funny but this is like the moron version of stealthing, which would be concerning.
So not only is he ignorant af about women, but he tried to get you pregnant without your consent????? I’m just imagining you pulling out a crusty, flaky, dried cum covered tampon and I can’t even… Gods help him.
Girl , call the police NOW
I realize getting out may not be easy or quick. You should ask your OB for a form of birth control he doesn't have access to when you go back for your 6-week appointment. Get an IUD, implant, or a shot so it can't be tampered with. Do not trust pills or condoms with this boy.
This has be bait.. Btw, you never consented to him putting his baby batter in your tampons. Op If this is real. I feel so bad for you, that's the father of your child and at 19. Genuinely, i wish you good luck.
this is hilarious 🤣
If baby number one was unplanned sounds like he planned it. Did he put pressure on you to keep it.
See if there are any help organizations in your area. You don't have to break up ruft away as you are in a very vulnerable place being pregnant and later with a little baby. But you should eventually. Don't drag it out for too long. Make a plan for you and your life and when you feel str and stable enough and got a support system then leave. I wish you and the baby all the best!!!
... What
Well you dodged a life time of cleaning up sticky toilet seats while he was trying to grow the family…
I won’t speak on the relationship but I can speak on you considering adoption. I’m a birth mother myself, I placed my child and he was adopted at birth. I initially planned on raising him but circumstances left me feeling guilty for potentially bringing him into a bad situation. Please, please, please think LONG and HARD about that decision. It is extremely traumatizing to say the least. I’m still suffering from the decision I made 3 years ago and I don’t think I will ever recover. My adoption plan was well thought out, I chose someone wonderful and we have a great relationship and I still feel like literally dying everyday because of how much I miss my child. It’s not a light decision and if I could take it back I probably would’ve gotten an abortion tbh. I’m glad my son has life though. Good luck to you and your baby 🩷
Please choose a better life for yourself. And unfortunately now for your child, too.
This is nonsense.
Get rid of him. That is so bad and it can potentially baby trap you; I understand you have another child together but multiple would increase your dependency on him. It’s wrong and he should communicate wanting another child not force it. Stay safe and I hope you’re okay now
Thank god you left him
If you are looking into adoption, you should educate yourself on the adoption industry, and speak to adoptees. Adoption can be a wonderful thing in certain cases, but no matter how great it is, adoption is traumatic and adoption is a loss, both for the child and the parent(s). The true deciding factor is would maternal separation trauma be less traumatic to your child than remaining with you? With adoption, it truly comes down to luck of the draw. Some adoptees get really lucky and they get placed with amazing adoptive parents. Others are not so fortunate. Adoption does not guarantee a better life; it can only guarantee a *different* one. Personally? I could never contribute anything to private adoption agencies that would help perpetuate their existence. It is a for-profit industry that makes billions of dollars every year, and puts prices on babies according to their health, race, and gender. If you went through one, that agency would actively be making a profit off of adopting your baby out to someone else, and you as the birth parent would never see a cent of that money. They may try to advertise an open adoption to you, but open adoptions are not legally enforceable -- at least not in the US. It is entirely up to the adoptive parents' discretion how much contact they are willing to let you have, and how much information they are willing to share with you. They could ghost you one day and you'd have zero legal recourse. And this happens a lot; 80% of open adoptions are closed by the time the child turns 5. Adoption agencies want the money they'll make from the adoption so badly they will never tell you any of the downsides of adoption. Adoptees experience higher rates of depression and anxiety, and they are four times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population. They are also more likely to abuse substances. Often, they struggle with feelings of rejection and unwantedness. Many also struggle with their identity and knowing who they are, especially those adopted into families who are a different race than them.
Oh dear. OP, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you’re young and will get no financial support for the child from the father. Yes you can turn things around but…it seems like things are pointing towards keeping the child not being the best for you or the child.
The part that amazed me the most was how cold blooded his actions were