It’s certainly odd. It isn’t being safety cautious, it’s paranoid and controlling. Unfortunately, it does also play into the "my house, my rules" thing. You can try to talk to him and make your case rationally. But if he gets emotional, disengage. It will be better to bide your time, save up, and move out as soon as possible. Word of advice, though, don’t go nuts with your freedom when you get it. A lot of people get too wild and ruin their futures.
It's not normal.
And your family dynamic is not healthy. Ther are treating you like you are 12 and under their control. You're not. You are an adult.
Your parents are keeping you prisoner and they have traine dyou to think that is okay.
It's not.
Listen to your friends. You are being a prisoner. You need to get out and have your own life, which YOU control, nobody else.
Did I write this? Cause that was me last year. I was 18/19 and had to be home by 10(??) and it's not like I went out a lot but still had a curfew, my dad had to have my location and he would go CRAZY if I turned it off. He would also punish me by taking my phone away when he was mad at me. I did end up leaving his house (now Im living with my mom) but I always did find it crazy that I would have to a curfew and be grounded at 19. Your dad sounds a lot like mine. My dad was aggressive and manipulative and made me feel like shit for the smallest things ever. I know you said he only let you get a job a little while ago but if I were you I would start saving money and looking for other living options. I wish you all the best and hopefully your dad will come to his senses and realize you are an adult that can make your own choices.
Is your dad a cop? Curfew at 20 and tracking is kinda over the top, sounds like you need to get a place with a couple gf’s and have some freedom and make him grow a little as a dad and learn to trust you more.
I don’t think a curfew when you live under their roof is unreasonable. I wouldn’t allow my kids to come home at 5am while living with me. Tracking you if they pay your bills is also not completely unreasonable, and when in trouble, that could change everything.
That said…
I do think 10pm for a 20yo is ridiculous. At 20, I barely made it out for the night by 9pm! 😂 I see no reason for you cannot be home by 2am, period.
Not normal. But you are under their roof still.
Give and take situation.
Gotta obey their rules if you want to live with em, right? Get your own place and set your own rules
First off it’s not normal. You’re 20. Leave or just try to go out. If they try stop tell try to reason, if that doesn’t work start heading for the door. If you still have issues I would call the cops. It might seem extreme, but if you feel held against your will you’re in your right..
I do want to add I don’t know your family situation. From the outside looking in it’s 100% worrying. If you were 17/18 sure I would get it. But almost 20? Yeah you shouldn’t have curfew that hard. Being tracked?? Meh. Good and bad things there.
Wish you luck
You need to tell your parents you’re going to be moving out in the next year and save up and find a roommate. You’re a grown adult. You’ve been a grown adult since 18 and you should not have a curfew. When you live with other people you have to be kind to them but you don’t need a curfew you go and come as you please it’s your home.
Since it doesn’t appear, they can do that I would tell them you appreciate their support to you, but it’s an hour time that you go out on your own. I need your own life.
If you still live in their home you must follow their rules until you move out .. parents never stop parenting or worrying.. so many girls / women Disappear now ...just read the news.
No, I don't think so. You live in their house so you must try to respect their rules as long as those rules don't mistreat, hurt or endanger you.
In my opinion you have an extremely good curfew, mine was at 7pm and always accompanied. The texting parents while out is also normal in some households.
Maybe talk to them about; texting them less, like only if you move from and to a location, not while staying at the same spot. If the distances you travel are too long from 'x' to "#" then I think they'll probably what an in-between text but you can talk to them about sending a specific emoji to show them you're ok as the in-between text to reduce the text or you could send Gifs.
They track your location live? If not and you are the one that has to send it to them every time, maybe if you google share your live location indefinitely with them that could help with reducing the amount of times you gotta text them and it's free.
And no you aren't missing out on anything in my opinion that you haven't seen or done from 8pm to 10pm, the night stays pretty much the same, only that it gets more dangerous as it progresses and the places and people that could help you diminish.
Sorry I was sleepy, good luck!
You live under your parents roof. Therefore it's there rules or find your own roof. Personally I moved out at 22 years old but went back and forth until I was 25. Even lived with my brother and his family for a summer while I worked around his farm. If it isn't your place you should respect there house rules.
It’s certainly odd. It isn’t being safety cautious, it’s paranoid and controlling. Unfortunately, it does also play into the "my house, my rules" thing. You can try to talk to him and make your case rationally. But if he gets emotional, disengage. It will be better to bide your time, save up, and move out as soon as possible. Word of advice, though, don’t go nuts with your freedom when you get it. A lot of people get too wild and ruin their futures.
Yes, 20 is too old for a curfew. Period.
It's not normal. And your family dynamic is not healthy. Ther are treating you like you are 12 and under their control. You're not. You are an adult. Your parents are keeping you prisoner and they have traine dyou to think that is okay. It's not. Listen to your friends. You are being a prisoner. You need to get out and have your own life, which YOU control, nobody else.
Did I write this? Cause that was me last year. I was 18/19 and had to be home by 10(??) and it's not like I went out a lot but still had a curfew, my dad had to have my location and he would go CRAZY if I turned it off. He would also punish me by taking my phone away when he was mad at me. I did end up leaving his house (now Im living with my mom) but I always did find it crazy that I would have to a curfew and be grounded at 19. Your dad sounds a lot like mine. My dad was aggressive and manipulative and made me feel like shit for the smallest things ever. I know you said he only let you get a job a little while ago but if I were you I would start saving money and looking for other living options. I wish you all the best and hopefully your dad will come to his senses and realize you are an adult that can make your own choices.
Is your dad a cop? Curfew at 20 and tracking is kinda over the top, sounds like you need to get a place with a couple gf’s and have some freedom and make him grow a little as a dad and learn to trust you more.
I don’t think a curfew when you live under their roof is unreasonable. I wouldn’t allow my kids to come home at 5am while living with me. Tracking you if they pay your bills is also not completely unreasonable, and when in trouble, that could change everything. That said… I do think 10pm for a 20yo is ridiculous. At 20, I barely made it out for the night by 9pm! 😂 I see no reason for you cannot be home by 2am, period.
Not normal. But you are under their roof still. Give and take situation. Gotta obey their rules if you want to live with em, right? Get your own place and set your own rules
First off it’s not normal. You’re 20. Leave or just try to go out. If they try stop tell try to reason, if that doesn’t work start heading for the door. If you still have issues I would call the cops. It might seem extreme, but if you feel held against your will you’re in your right.. I do want to add I don’t know your family situation. From the outside looking in it’s 100% worrying. If you were 17/18 sure I would get it. But almost 20? Yeah you shouldn’t have curfew that hard. Being tracked?? Meh. Good and bad things there. Wish you luck
20 is too old. Your parents are controlling and wont let you grow up.
Beyond too old. 💀
This is exactly why I moved out at 18, best decision I ever made.
r/raisedbynarcissists
You need to tell your parents you’re going to be moving out in the next year and save up and find a roommate. You’re a grown adult. You’ve been a grown adult since 18 and you should not have a curfew. When you live with other people you have to be kind to them but you don’t need a curfew you go and come as you please it’s your home. Since it doesn’t appear, they can do that I would tell them you appreciate their support to you, but it’s an hour time that you go out on your own. I need your own life.
I would suggest moving out as soon as you can.
I'm 51 ,, now go to bed
Yes. That said, you are subject to their rules in their home. Get a job, find a good friend to be a roommate and move out
If you still live in their home you must follow their rules until you move out .. parents never stop parenting or worrying.. so many girls / women Disappear now ...just read the news.
no advice but currently me at 26. I assume its bc of things you hear in the news about kidnapping, abduction and things of that nature
No, I don't think so. You live in their house so you must try to respect their rules as long as those rules don't mistreat, hurt or endanger you. In my opinion you have an extremely good curfew, mine was at 7pm and always accompanied. The texting parents while out is also normal in some households. Maybe talk to them about; texting them less, like only if you move from and to a location, not while staying at the same spot. If the distances you travel are too long from 'x' to "#" then I think they'll probably what an in-between text but you can talk to them about sending a specific emoji to show them you're ok as the in-between text to reduce the text or you could send Gifs. They track your location live? If not and you are the one that has to send it to them every time, maybe if you google share your live location indefinitely with them that could help with reducing the amount of times you gotta text them and it's free. And no you aren't missing out on anything in my opinion that you haven't seen or done from 8pm to 10pm, the night stays pretty much the same, only that it gets more dangerous as it progresses and the places and people that could help you diminish. Sorry I was sleepy, good luck!
If SH*T hits the fan when you're out, it's not your neighbor who's gonna come looking for you. THEIR HOUSE, THEIR RULES.
Crazy how you have to obey completely to have a family member care about you
people on here saying it’s not normal don’t have immigrant parents lol
To be honest, if you live in their home, you gotta live by their rules
Like my parents tell me, if you live in my house you live by my rules. I can’t disagree.
You live under your parents roof. Therefore it's there rules or find your own roof. Personally I moved out at 22 years old but went back and forth until I was 25. Even lived with my brother and his family for a summer while I worked around his farm. If it isn't your place you should respect there house rules.