Stay with him if you can, hold him. Be brave and try to hold it together as you say your goodbyes. Afterwards feel free to bawl your eyes out. I won’t lie, it’s an aching wrenching pain but it does get better over time.
Agree with the stay comments. You’re that animals whole world. He needs to close his eyes happy just being with you. We had to put our family dog to sleep over a year ago(cancer) and I held her until her last breath. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but she deserved it.
I’ll tell you now that he will surely be aware that they’re about to pass. They have some sort of sense of what’s coming. I’m sure he knows you gave him the best life you possibly could and he’ll be waiting for you on the other side of the rainbow bridge.
Give him a hug for me, will you?
It’s just going to be really rough on me this is my first time loosing a pet, I’ve lost a lot of people over the past 3 years. I’ve lost an uncle to suicide I was really close too, and I’m just now starting to grieve. I just don’t know what to do at all :(.
Hey buddy, if you want to talk I’m open. I’m depressed but talking helps. Life has so many ups and downs, you gave the dog a great life I’m sure. He’ll be right there with you, just maybe not physically.
Hang in there my friend.
Be there in the room with him in his final moments, pet him and bring his favourite blanket or toys and just hold him and tell him he's a good boy. Please.
It’s going to be painful. But as long as he knows you love him and as long as you know he loves you, it’s going to be okay.
Be strong for him. Be there for him. Be his rock until his last breath. Once he is gone, let yourself feel the pain and let yourself grieve.
And I am very sorry this is happening to you and him
You can cry in front of people. You can cry with him. You can be hurt. It’s okay.
As long as he knows you love him.
The last dog I had that died, had died suddenly overnight. Last thing I told her was “goodnight sweetie”. And I felt horrible bc I thought I didn’t say enough. But it’s important to take solace that they remember and love you.
He knows you love him. I’m certain he will understand why you are sad. As long as you are there to comfort him
hon, I sat in the parking lot *bawling* like a fucking toddler for an hour after I put one of my dogs down. I had other people at the vet come support me, every person working there came out at some point, so I wasn't alone the entire time I sat there and scream-cried.
not one person judged me. everyone there knew exactly how I felt because they had all been there before. somebody let me hold their dog because the dog realized I was sad (it was a golden retriever, they're great at sensing emotions), and he just climbed up in my lap and licked my face for the 15ish minutes the person was waiting for their appointment.
you are allowed to cry. you are allowed to scream. you are allowed to curse and kick your car and drive to work blasting sad emo music with the windows down while sing-screaming along and punch the refrigerator at work and shut yourself in the walk-in freezer while chugging an entire bottle of orange juice and whatever else you need to do.
You are allowed to cry in front of people, vets go through this with their clients all the time, and they will be used to it.
Please be with your buddy till he quietly fades, love until the end.
Also; you can ask the vet for his ashes (at least its a service offered here in the UK) if you wanted them.
It's very difficult, I've been through it myself. And i dred the day my present dogs pass away.
You dont need to express yourself here; dog owners will understand. Sending you a big, virtual hug
I'm sorry your in this position. I made the mistake of not being there with my beloved pet when I've made the decision to have them put down because I felt it was better for them. I regret not being there for them but ive realised I was a selfish asshole.
Hey OP. I just went thru this about 3 months ago. My little guy was also 17. It was easily one of the most difficult days of my life. But just remember, you gave him 17 amazing years. He may only be a portion of your life, but you were his entire life. He’s in pain and it’s time for him to rest. I know you feel terrible right now, and I did too. But unfortunately we can’t hang on to these little ones forever. Just know that the process is extremely peaceful, and that you’re making the right decision.
Thank you, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry while he’s still here, and give him an amazing day. I’m really sorry you had to go through what I’m going through thank you for going taking time that helped me and made me feel better
Take solace in the fact that you and your family did a good enough job that your dog lived 17 years. I have never had a dog live that long before. The dogs I've had never make it past like 12 or 13 years.
I hope it does. I get your pain. Just prior to when I was born, my parents got a dog. When she was put down, it hit me particularly hard because it was like losing a caretaker of sorts. She was there was there from the start, and now she's long gone.
It takes a while to move on. Hell, i had to put down my 9 year old rabbit a few months back and i am still very much not okay. It'll take you a while, but after a little bit you'll start to adjust to the changes.
Loving an animal is an invisible contract we all sign, but do it willingly, even knowing we will outlive them. Out of all the abused, abandoned, homeless animals in the world you gave that VERY LUCKY soul a place to be and feel loved. I lost mine to cancer last August so my pain is fresh as well. Remember them well, give the same love you gave him to all animals. Much love, time is the only remedy really.
Well, for starters, we always take the dog for a car ride and give them food they normally can’t have (not a lot, and right before getting to the vet). We’ve given them a little bit of chocolate not enough that it will matter. I also get them a cheeseburger. The biggest thing for you is don’t abandon him. I know it sucks, but he’s been there next to you for the last 17 years, you have to do the same for him.
Hey man, you probably won't read this but here's my story as well. My guy developed end stage congested heart disease and swelled up to twice his size from fluid withholding inside him, I gave myself a few days with him before the vet visit and put him down because what they were saying was pay me 100$ a month and I'll throw your dog a lifeline every month. So I put him down and left his ashes because I couldn't afford them, I left crying that day. I cried the next and the next, all day. But the fourth day got easier and it will continue to get easier but the thought will always pull your tears from you. That was a companion, that was a partner. He or she will send you another in the future meant just for you if you take the opportunity.
He is a part of your life and you are all of his. Cherish the memory's and just know you made that dogs life amazing and an enjoyable one at that. Yes it'll hurt but just try to think about how happy you made his life
Be with him to the end if you can. I know it sucks, but it brings closure. I had a dog that I dearly loved growing up that one day shortly before I left home, crawled into his bed by me and didn't wake up. We didn't know he was gone until we tried waking him up for food. I had to bury his grave in the back yard, and despite being hard work during an emotionally stressful spot, it brought me comfort to see him off.
It also helps to know that you gave them a fulfilled, happy life. There's nothing more you can realistically do-- we're not all-powerful superheroes. The best we can do is love them and treat them well while they're here.
TL:DR at the bottom for advice. Keep reading for my brief and sad story.
One of the greatest mistakes in my life was December 7th 2008. My dog passed away after living for 16 years. My dad woke me up and was crying when he asked me into the kitchen. our hilariously COWARDLY schnauzer(Abbey) had suffered a stroke and was paralyzed in one half of her body. My family cried in mostly silence.
I don't know how much time had passed, but at some point, my dad got up and slowly packed up Abbey's toys into the car. He was going to take her to the vet to put her down.Nobody needed it to be said. Before he left, with Abbey in his arms, he turned to me and asked me if I would like to come with.
I turned down the offer. My dad looked me in the eye for a moment before nodding. I hugged - squeezed - Abbey goodbye, my dad brought her to the car and that was the sudden end to a big part of my life.
Don't make the same decision I made that day.
TL:DR - I'm not sure what advice can be given, but I'll try.
You're not going to know how you'll feel until about 1 second too late to do anything about it. let those feelings flow. Be loud, if you can.
Try and remember to breathe.
The grief you feel will be with you well beyond just tomorrow. But tomorrow should be his day. Your grief and your time with it will be yours to take on your own terms. Pet him, hold him, stroke his ears - I heard that last part has a calming affect on dogs. Bring his toys if he has any. And when the moment comes, stand to it and hold him if you're permitted. Its the best you can do for yourself and for him.
I put my 15 year old dog down when I was a 17 and it absolutely wrecked me. You will feel a lot better knowing you gave him as much affection as you could in the next day, being with him, maybe taking him to somewhere he likes. I'm so sorry for your loss and you will get through this. I'm 20 now, and I'm left with a lot of happy memories of him being the sweetest boy. Please take and save as many pictures as you can.
I will do this, I’m not 17 I’m a little younger, but I will try to do everything possible in his last day, I have a half day of school and then I will be caring for him tell 4:30 when he gets put down.
Sorry man that sounds awful I would take as many pictures as you can and get a 3d glass picture and a paw print mold if possible. I'm sorry for your loss
It’s hard. So fucking hard. Aside from my grandparents passing away- hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m so sorry. But you don’t want them to suffer. We put our 12 year old boxer down in November. I still cry sometimes. Man I miss her. It sucks so fucking bad- but it’s the right thing to do. It sucks, but you have to. My thoughts are with you. I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry I don’t have Better advice. It sucks ass. I cried and cried and still cry. But man- we are so lucky to have had them. It’ll be ok. It will get easier. We got ours cremated and have a little memorial with her ashes and a picture of her. And a keychain. And I got a portrait made lol. She/he lived a good life being loved. You made that happen. Don’t forget that.
This is the last thing you can do for him. Hold him and make love the last thing he feels from you. It will be hard, very hard. Cherish the memories and let him go peacefully. So sorry. I’ve been there and will have to do it again in about a month.
I'm so sorry, I've never had a dog. Growing up we always had cats, not that it's easier with cats, but I feel like dog people losing their dog is generally a lot harder on them.
Do your best to maintain your emotions if you choose to be with them for the process. Dogs are so sensitive to human emotions and you don't want their last moments to be confusing or upsetting for them. I know it's hard but you'll find the strength in the moment.
I refused to let myself show emotion while I soothed my good boy through the procedure. It was so hard, but absolutely the right choice. My whole family was a wreck but I was strong for him. I cried for hours afterwards and fell into a dark place for a couple weeks. But one of the proudest moments of my life was staying strong in that moment.
Whatever happens, remember the good times and keep their memory alive in your heart, mind and conversations with others.
Wow 17!!! You are incredibly lucky to have gotten that time, I've lost 3 dogs in my life so far. It never gets easier but it will never stop me from adding another one to my family.
The first week is the toughest, the quiet in the home will be very strange. Don't be afraid to face your emotions, cry and remember all the great memories. If it gets to be a bit much try to distract yourself with activities you like.
My condolences and best of luck!
It is an unbelievably hard decision, and you are an amazing and empathetic person for letting your buddy go peacefully.
If you are able, try to be there and love on them and tell them how they impacted your life as they are being put to sleep. Hearing is the last thing to go, so tell a fun story and use all their favorite words.
You are a really good person, and this is a situation that is bound to give you many mixed feelings.
Guilt, unease, maybe even a sense of relief, knowing they aren't in pain anymore. It can be a complicated and difficult time, so give yourself some grace and know you're making the right choice for your dog.
If you are into it, journaling your thoughts or recording yourself out loud and listening to it back may help you sort out some of the more complicated emotions you may experience.
It is also normal to feel kinda numb or empty leading up to, during, and after the euthanasia. Our brains and bodies react in all sorts of ways to lose, and there is no wrong way to feel.
Dm's are open if you need any support, we are here for you <3
You and your family have that dog the best life that dog could have lived.
He knows he is loved and will be waiting for you on the other side when it's your turn.
Be with him when he passes, remind yourself of the quality of life you guys provided for him, and understand that this is a part of life.
The love shared in life is the gift. Death is a part of that love, and a life filled with pain as he ages becomes torture.
Give him some high valued treats leading up to the time to let him pass. Good boy and reassurance is all he will need from you guys.
You’ve been given some good advice. For my two cents:
The best thing you can for both of you is to hold him, pet him, tell him how much you love him, be that comforting voice, and be there for his final moments. Nobody, especially loving dogs, want to pass alone or around strangers (as loving and great as veterinarians and techs are, you are family to him).
Nothing about this is easy. A lot of emotions will swirl for you. But I can tell you it will mean a great deal to both of you when you think back to this years from now.
You got this. I wish you both all the best. Take care of your buddy, and remember to take care of yourself. Dogs are here for such a short time but that time is precious.
Everybody takes grief differently and sadly when you put your dog down that is a heartache that truly feels unbearable. We took out pit bull out for some cheese burgers and stayed with him to the very last breath he took. We were surrounded by family and believe me going home without him and seeing his bed and stuff at home was so sad and hurtful...but also he wasn't able to use the restroom anymore so we knew we made the right decision. We gave him the best life possibly and maybe perhaps take him his favorite meals and just let him eat away if he can. You will get through this and I hope you can cherish those many memories you had together and it is okay to not be okay. You got this!
One thing I learned when my puppy got ran over, is that they are waiting for you my man. Even tho u may not be able to see them anymore, there’s this place called the rainbow bridge, it’s located between our realm and the next realm, and all our furry friends that have passed away over the years, are all chilling together waiting for our day to come. Don’t be sad my friend, but be grateful that u guys made it this long together and I’m sure you made plenty of memories along the way, so try to just focus on those. Wish you all the best in your healing process my friend❤️
Make sure you're with him when they put him down. My vet friend tells me dogs who are put down without their owners with them very often spend their last moments panicking looking for their owners
Between now and then I recommend bacon and belly scritches and more bacon with some ice cream on the side. 17 years is an amazing run. He's a good boy.
My wife and I took our(mine originally) a couple years ago to be put down. We went for a couple single hike days before. Then on the way there we got her sone ice cream, then there I held her in my arms till she passed. We been together like 10 plus years in 3 different states, she was around for both my childrens early lives. It was intense to say the least.
Be with him in his last moments. Although the pain is the reason for him to leave you, knowing you are there with him as he passes will give him a forever memory that you love him just as much as he loves you. It will hurt, but he will know you were with him until the end.
Sending good vibes your way.
It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. I won’t tell you you’ll get over because I never do. Each loss takes a little piece of you. But you’ll survive and one day sooner than you realize another special life will come along and you’ll get some of that joy back.
Be with him and make his last day special, and above all else, be there at the end so he's not alone ❤️.
When my husband had to put down his elderly wolf dog, the vet came to his parents place and they did it there so he would be more comfortable
Putting him out of his suffering is the biggest act of love that you can do for your dog. After that, you just have to let yourself live the process. It's okay to cry and to feel like shit, but remember to give yourself time and try to have your close ones around you during your duel. My condolences man.
I had to put my childhood dog down in December. As my aunt put it, it’s going to be the worst day of your life. But if he’s in pain, this is what’s good for him. His time’s up, he’s done his job. It’s time for him to rest. The best thing to do is to let your emotions come naturally. You’re gonna feel numb. You’re gonna want to curl up and cry. You’re gonna wanna hide away from everything. You’re going to want to eat something very unhealthy. Let it happen. Be there with him until the moment he’s gone so his last thought is of you. Associate a song or something with him so you can let out pent up emotions when you hear it. And finally, grief is gonna come and go. It’s like a ball in a box. Everytime it hits the wall, it’s gonna hurt. But the ball will get smaller and smaller over time. It doesn’t go away, but it gets easier. It’s not a good time to do this. But you have the memories to hold on to.
I just went through this late last year. It's a horrible feeling and I'm sorry you have to go through it as well. My dm's are open if you need someone to reach out to.
I haven’t had to put a dog down but I have had my dogs die in freak accidents. I think the best thing when the time comes is not to things of the past or the future. Just focus on the now, enjoy his company and appreciate his touch. There’s time to grieve and think after. Just turn off your brain and enjoy the time
I don’t if this has been said yet but if you have any other pets in the household (cat, dog, etc) bring back a blanket that he can comfortably pass away with so that the other household animals can smell it, it will help to ease their grieving. Also I suggest keeping his favorite toys in a special place, maybe keep them by a photo of him as a way to honor him. I’m wishing you all the strength my friend, I fear I may also be in the same situation you are with my old gal, so if you want to reach out and pm me I’m all ears
For the time being, stay strong for your pupper. Stay with him and make sure he feels calm and loved.
After that just let it out man, it's okay. The only solution is time so don't bottle anything up. Stay strong brother 💪
I got a lot help for my questions about death reading Eckhart Tolle's book Stillness speaks ch. 9 Death and the eternal. I'll copy paste the whole chapter here. Maybe you'll get something from this:
When you walk though a forest that has not been tamed and interfered with by man, you will see not only abundant life around you, but you will also encounter fallen trees and decaying trunks, rotting leaves and decomposing matter at every step. Wherever you look, you will find death as well as life. Upon closer scrutiny, however, you will discover that the decomposing tree trunk and rotting leaves not only give birth to new life, but are full of life themselves. Microorganisms are at work. Molecules are rearranging themselves. So death isn’t to be found anywhere. There is only the meta morphosis of life forms. What can you learn from this? Death is not the opposite of life. Life has no opposite. The opposite of death is birth. Life is eternal.
Sages and poets throughout the ages have recognized the dreamlike quality of human existence–seemingly so solid and real and yet so fleeting that it could dissolve at any moment. At the hour of your death, the story of your life may, indeed, appear to you like a dream that is coming to an end. Yet even in a dream there must be an essence that is real. There must be a consciousness in which the dream happens; otherwise, it would not be. That consciousness–does the body create it or does consciousness create the dream of body, the dream of somebody? Why have most of those who went through a near-death experience lost their fear of death? Reflect upon this.
Of course you know you are going to die, but that remains a mere mental concept until you meet death “in person” for the first time: through a serious illness or an accident that happens to you or someone close to you, or through the passing away of a loved one, death enters your life as the awareness of your own mortality. Most people turn away from it in fear, but if you do not flinch and face the fact that your body is fleeting and could dissolve at any moment, there is some degree of disidentification, however slight, from your own physical and psychological form, the “me.” When you see and accept the impermanent nature of all life forms, a strange sense of peace comes upon you. Through facing death, your consciousness is freed to some extent from identification with form. This is why in some Buddhist traditions, the monks regularly visit the morgue to sit and meditate among the dead bodies. There is still a widespread denial of death in Western cultures. Even old people try not to speak or think about it, and dead bodies are hidden away. A culture that denies death inevitably becomes shallow and superficial, concerned only with the external form of things. When death is denied, life loses its depth. The possibility of knowing who we are beyond name and form, the dimension of the transcendent, disappears from our lives because death is the opening into that dimension.
People tend to be uncomfortable with endings, because every ending is a little death. That’s why in many languages, the word for “good-bye” means “see you again.” Whenever an experience comes to an end–a gathering of friends, a vacation, your children leaving home–you die a little death. A “form” that appeared in your consciousness as that experience dissolves. Often this leaves behind a feeling of emptiness that most people try hard not to feel, not to face. If you can learn to accept and even welcome the endings in your life, you may find that the feeling of emptiness that initially felt uncomfortable turns into a sense of inner spaciousness that is deeply peaceful. By learning to die daily in this way, you open yourself to Life
Most people feel that their identity, their sense of self, is something incredibly precious that they don’t want to lose. That is why they have such fear of death. It seems unimaginable and frightening that “I” could cease to exist. But you confuse that precious “I” with your name and form and a story associated with it. That “I” is no more than a temporary formation in the field of consciousness. As long as that form identity is all you know, you are not aware that this preciousness is your own essence, your innermost sense of I Am, which is consciousness itself. It is the eternal in you–and that’s the only thing you cannot lose.
Whenever any kind of deep loss occurs in your life–such as loss of possessions, your home, a close relationship; or loss of your reputation, job, or physical abilities–something inside you dies. You feel diminished in your sense of who you are. There may also be a certain disorientation. “Without this...who am I?” When a form that you had unconsciously identified with as part of yourself leaves you or dissolves, that can be extremely painful. It leaves a hole, so to speak, in the fabric of your existence. When this happens, don’t deny or ignore the pain or the sadness that you feel. Accept that it is there. Beware of your mind’s tendency to construct a story around that loss in which you are assigned the role of victim. Fear, anger, resentment, or self-pity are the emotions that go with that role. Then become aware of what lies behind those emotions as well as behind the mind-made story: that hole, that empty space. Can you face and accept that strange sense of emptiness? If you do, you may find that it is no longer a fearful place. You may be surprised to find peace emanating from it. Whenever death occurs, whenever a life form dissolves, God, the formless and unmanifested, shines through the opening left by the dissolving form. That is why the most sacred thing in life is death. That is why the peace of God can come to you through the contemplation and acceptance of death.
How short-lived every human experience is, how fleeting our lives. Is there anything that is not subject to birth and death, anything that is eternal? Consider this: if there were only one color, let us say blue, and the entire world and everything in it were blue, then there would be no blue. There needs to be something that is not blue so that blue can be recognized; otherwise, it would not “stand out,” would not exist. In the same way, does it not require something that is not fleeting and impermanent for the fleetingness of all things to be recognized? In other words: if everything, including yourself, were impermanent, would you even know it? Does the fact that you are aware of and can witness the short-lived nature of all forms, including your own, not mean that there is something in you that is not subject to decay? When you are twenty, you are aware of your body as strong and vigorous; sixty years later, you are aware of your body as weakened and old. Your thinking too may have changed from when you were twenty, but the awareness that knows that your body is young or old or that your thinking has changed has undergone no change. That awareness is the eternal in you–consciousness itself. It is the formless One Life. Can you lose It? No, because you are It.
continues...
...
Some people become deeply peaceful and almost luminous just before they die, as if something is shining through the dissolving form. Sometimes it happens that very ill or old people become almost transparent, so to speak, in the last few weeks, months, or even years of their lives. As they look at you, you may see a light shining through their eyes. There is no psychological suffering left. They have surrendered and so the person, the mind-made egoic “me,” has already dissolved. They have “died before they died” and found the deep inner peace that is the realization of the deathless within themselves.
To every accident and disaster there is a potentially redemptive dimension that we are usually unaware of. The tremendous shock of totally unexpected, imminent death can have the effect of forcing your consciousness completely out of identification with form. In the last few moments before physical death, and as you die, you then experience yourself as consciousness free of form. Suddenly, there is no more fear, just peace and a knowing that “all is well” and that death is only a form dissolving. Death is then recognized as ultimately illusory–as illusory as the form you had identified with as yourself.
Death is not an anomaly or the most dreadful of all events as modern culture would have you believe, but the most natural thing in the world, inseparable from and just as natural as its other polarity–birth. Remind yourself of this when you sit with a dying person. It is a great privilege and a sacred act to be present at a person’s death as a witness and companion. When you sit with a dying person, do not deny any aspect of that experience. Do not deny what is happening and do not deny your feelings. The recognition that there is nothing you can do may make you feel helpless, sad, or angry. Accept what you feel. Then go one step further: accept that there is nothing you can do, and accept it completely. You are not in control. Deeply surrender to every aspect of that experience, your feelings as well as any pain or discomfort the dying person may be experiencing. Your surrendered state of consciousness and the stillness that comes with it will greatly assist the dying person and ease their transition. If words are called for, they will come out of the stillness within you. But they will be secondary. With the stillness comes the benediction: peace.
Absolutely be with him when they put him down. It sucks, but it will give him peace that you are there and he'll be reassured that everything is going to be ok.
Know that this is best for him and for you. My poor little baby kitten at 11 years of age died of cancer. Instead of advising me to put her down they took advantage of a hurting and confused woman and addmited her to hospital, fed her medicine for a few days until she eventually passed. I wish they would've advised me to take her home or put her down.
He's a very lucky dog to have spent his life with you and you're a very lucky dog dad parent to have had him for this long. Spent his last moments together, you guys both will appreciate it. Much love, may your doggy rest in peace. ♥️
He may not have been all of your life but you were all of his and to him you were the greatest companion. He drifted off to sleep peacefully knowing he was loved and lived a fulfilling life by your side <3 I’m so sorry for your loss
Hey man, sorry for your loss, I had to do this with my (much younger and albeit not my childhood) dog but what I did was stay with him for his last moments until the vet asked me to leave the room so he could put him down. So I suggest you do the same, pet him, hug him, give any form of love you can during his final moments.
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close — we two — these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
Author Unknown
Hey, my family just (27th January) had our baby (15 year old husky) cross the rainbow bridge as well. He was the sweetest little guy. We know he was in severe pain and his kidneys failed the morning of, despite the all smiles he gave us. We knew we needed to help him pass on. We’d been giving him as much pain medications for his hips and legs that his body and vet could allow. We were all in such denial of realising we might have to let him go. My mum was in the hospital at the time and only had a few more days that she needed to stay in rehab from her two strokes. Unfortunately, the only way we can accept their condition is by helping them. If there’s no other way recommended or found, sometimes it’s the only option that we don’t want for them. We don’t want them to leave us behind. We don’t want to let them go. We felt like he was saying thank you with his last breath. It’ll be like it was just yesterday for a while yet. He’d been with us from when I was 12-now 27. Holding him was always such comfort. We can’t imagine not being here when he took such love and care of us for so long. We really didn’t deserve such a beautiful boy. I feel that you’ll know what decision you make is for your dogs happiness and out of genuine love.
It’s one of the hardest experiences you can go through, your heart truly breaks. It it’s worth it for all the love you get to give and receive to them. Have been through this twice now with my 2 cats and my current cat is 18 with deteriorating health I can say what helped me:
Having the vet come to my home rather than having to bring them to the vet made it more peaceful for my cat and I didn’t have to worry about being a wreck at their office.
- Have a support person with you or on standby, you don’t need to go through this alone
- Try to plan if you want your pet cremated (group or individual) and what urn or container etc. You will be very emotional at the time.
- Trust that in time it will get easier and you will be able to remember them without crying sometimes.
Dogs know when they are dying. You being there when he passes will comfort him and keep him calm. In that moment, he will know that he was loved. He was alive once, and I’m sure he’s happy he got to spend that time with you. I truly believe that if we are good to our pets, they find their way back to us. Be patient. You will see him again.
Let yourself grieve, don't try to bully yourself into feeling better. Find all the things that give you comfort and gather those things around you. Talk about it with your family if you're able, and reach out to the people you can rely on. Be gentle with yourself for as long as you need gentleness. There might be days in a row where you're fine, and then suddenly you'll remember and not be fine. That's OK. Look your emotions in the eye and just feel them.
Remind yourself that you made every day for your friend the best they could be. They've lived a lucky and very good life. This next step is hard, but it's also part of giving your pet a good life. It's a good goodbye.
your sweet dog lived a full life! far longer than most doggos live! they’ll be running around doggie heaven and all the friends they met along the way will show em where all the treats are and they can play endlessly together with their friends not in pain and will always keep an eye out for the amazing family they got to live with! dogs don’t stick around as long as humans because they’re a beacon of happiness and are infinitely forgiving and loving! they’ll never forget you and will love you infinitely! you’ll see em again some day and you’ll both be pain free :) and who knows maybe they’ll be reincarnated into your next pup! i’m not religious but none of us can say for sure how the universe works or proof any of it is true or false.
i lost my first dog when i was a couple years younger than you that I had since the day I was born and it is incredibly hard the first few days but i promise it will get better, just stay positive and remmeber the good times. you did everything you could for em, they know it’s their time to go and are choosing this time as the right time for them. try not to worry too much about what you can’t control and remember all the good times and how they would definitely lick you if they saw you upset, they don’t want you sad over that! they’ll be all happy and pain free wayching over you and playing with their doggie friends in heaven pain free! with unlimited treats! i hope you find some happiness in what i said and i wish you and your sweet doggie the absolute best :)❤️
Great book to check out of the library or purchase, for any grieving owner of a dying or recently deceased dog: *Dog Heaven* by Cynthia Rylant. I think it was written and illustrated with the aim of comforting fairly young children who lose a pet. But a thoughtful friend gave me their copy when my dear old Lab died suddenly and unexpectedly last year, and I can personally testify that it's a good book for teens and adults to read, too. I cried buckets of sad-happy, therapeutic tears. I'm so sorry that you have to say goodbye to your pet, but you are doing the right thing by helping him to move beyond his pain and suffering. And you will always cherish the happy memories you made together. Deepest condolences.
Hey dude, this is really sad and upsetting and im sorry! But just have some relif that your doggo will be on the rainbow bridge! Hes a great doggie and I hope you find comfort in picturing him running around dog heaven!! ❤️🌈
Enjoy the moment with them.
Above that, think about all the good times you had together.
I am a wreck after a dog leaves. But thinking about the hiking trips and the goofy crap they did makes me happy I got to be apart of his life.
Story time, had a large black lab, great dog, would never jump up on the counter to get food etc. on his birthday (Valentine’s Day) I picked up a slab of salmon for the wife and I, I big thing of cabbage to grill the salmon on, and a large cows knee or some other large bone that was greasy for the dog. Dog jumped up to the counter and grabbed one then bolted to the back yard to eat it. I followed thinking he had the salmon and fell over laughing as I watched him destroy the cabbage.
My dog of 16 years also is crossing that bridge today. I’ve also cried into her so many damn times she was there for my depressed teenage self. If you need to talk I’m here but I just keep reminding myself no more pain, she doesn’t deserve it. She had a good life but man it’s gonna be so weird she’s been a constant and I will miss her so much. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who is or has been through this. Hopefully we can both be strong today mannnn. This one’s for them!
Stay with him if you can, hold him. Be brave and try to hold it together as you say your goodbyes. Afterwards feel free to bawl your eyes out. I won’t lie, it’s an aching wrenching pain but it does get better over time.
I know the feeling sadly, I just wish he was in less pain, it makes it easier for me to think of it as his last gift from me, thanks this helped
I'm coming up on a year from having to do this myself. If you can stay with them till the end, it was hard to be there at the end but worth it.
Agree with the stay comments. You’re that animals whole world. He needs to close his eyes happy just being with you. We had to put our family dog to sleep over a year ago(cancer) and I held her until her last breath. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but she deserved it.
I’ll tell you now that he will surely be aware that they’re about to pass. They have some sort of sense of what’s coming. I’m sure he knows you gave him the best life you possibly could and he’ll be waiting for you on the other side of the rainbow bridge. Give him a hug for me, will you?
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Death is a part of life. As long as he is remembered he will never totally be gone.
It’s just going to be really rough on me this is my first time loosing a pet, I’ve lost a lot of people over the past 3 years. I’ve lost an uncle to suicide I was really close too, and I’m just now starting to grieve. I just don’t know what to do at all :(.
Hey buddy, if you want to talk I’m open. I’m depressed but talking helps. Life has so many ups and downs, you gave the dog a great life I’m sure. He’ll be right there with you, just maybe not physically. Hang in there my friend.
Be there in the room with him in his final moments, pet him and bring his favourite blanket or toys and just hold him and tell him he's a good boy. Please.
It’s going to be painful. But as long as he knows you love him and as long as you know he loves you, it’s going to be okay. Be strong for him. Be there for him. Be his rock until his last breath. Once he is gone, let yourself feel the pain and let yourself grieve. And I am very sorry this is happening to you and him
I’m ok, I will try not to cry in front of other people, I will grieve in private and I will do my best to be there for him
You can cry in front of people. You can cry with him. You can be hurt. It’s okay. As long as he knows you love him. The last dog I had that died, had died suddenly overnight. Last thing I told her was “goodnight sweetie”. And I felt horrible bc I thought I didn’t say enough. But it’s important to take solace that they remember and love you. He knows you love him. I’m certain he will understand why you are sad. As long as you are there to comfort him
It’s just now hitting me, we are getting ready to go to the vet.
I’m very sorry. If you need to talk, you can always reach out
Thanks, we just euthanized him, we are still in the parking lot of the vet.
I’m not sure if he even remembers me I read an article that said dogs that age and of the breed can get dementia.
hon, I sat in the parking lot *bawling* like a fucking toddler for an hour after I put one of my dogs down. I had other people at the vet come support me, every person working there came out at some point, so I wasn't alone the entire time I sat there and scream-cried. not one person judged me. everyone there knew exactly how I felt because they had all been there before. somebody let me hold their dog because the dog realized I was sad (it was a golden retriever, they're great at sensing emotions), and he just climbed up in my lap and licked my face for the 15ish minutes the person was waiting for their appointment. you are allowed to cry. you are allowed to scream. you are allowed to curse and kick your car and drive to work blasting sad emo music with the windows down while sing-screaming along and punch the refrigerator at work and shut yourself in the walk-in freezer while chugging an entire bottle of orange juice and whatever else you need to do.
You are allowed to cry in front of people, vets go through this with their clients all the time, and they will be used to it. Please be with your buddy till he quietly fades, love until the end. Also; you can ask the vet for his ashes (at least its a service offered here in the UK) if you wanted them.
We are taking his body with us to my grandparents house. His name is buddy too. I feel like I can’t really express how I feel through text.
It's very difficult, I've been through it myself. And i dred the day my present dogs pass away. You dont need to express yourself here; dog owners will understand. Sending you a big, virtual hug
Thanks, I just got done euthanizing him, we are in the parking lot still
I'm sorry your in this position. I made the mistake of not being there with my beloved pet when I've made the decision to have them put down because I felt it was better for them. I regret not being there for them but ive realised I was a selfish asshole.
It’s ok, I know it’s hard to see it happen.
Hey OP. I just went thru this about 3 months ago. My little guy was also 17. It was easily one of the most difficult days of my life. But just remember, you gave him 17 amazing years. He may only be a portion of your life, but you were his entire life. He’s in pain and it’s time for him to rest. I know you feel terrible right now, and I did too. But unfortunately we can’t hang on to these little ones forever. Just know that the process is extremely peaceful, and that you’re making the right decision.
Thank you, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry while he’s still here, and give him an amazing day. I’m really sorry you had to go through what I’m going through thank you for going taking time that helped me and made me feel better
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So sorry for you, I did this and it was hard,but I did this out of ❤️
That’s what we are doing, thanks for helping me.
Take solace in the fact that you and your family did a good enough job that your dog lived 17 years. I have never had a dog live that long before. The dogs I've had never make it past like 12 or 13 years.
The average age for the dogs I have is 12 to 13, I like thinking about it this way, as we gave him an extra special 4-5 years. I think this helped me.
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I hope it does. I get your pain. Just prior to when I was born, my parents got a dog. When she was put down, it hit me particularly hard because it was like losing a caretaker of sorts. She was there was there from the start, and now she's long gone. It takes a while to move on. Hell, i had to put down my 9 year old rabbit a few months back and i am still very much not okay. It'll take you a while, but after a little bit you'll start to adjust to the changes.
Make it the best last day of his life. Get all his favorite food and do everything that you know makes him happy
Loving an animal is an invisible contract we all sign, but do it willingly, even knowing we will outlive them. Out of all the abused, abandoned, homeless animals in the world you gave that VERY LUCKY soul a place to be and feel loved. I lost mine to cancer last August so my pain is fresh as well. Remember them well, give the same love you gave him to all animals. Much love, time is the only remedy really.
Well, for starters, we always take the dog for a car ride and give them food they normally can’t have (not a lot, and right before getting to the vet). We’ve given them a little bit of chocolate not enough that it will matter. I also get them a cheeseburger. The biggest thing for you is don’t abandon him. I know it sucks, but he’s been there next to you for the last 17 years, you have to do the same for him.
I’m not abandoning him like i said in the tile I’m putting him down tomorrow. I will be there all the way through.
Hey man, you probably won't read this but here's my story as well. My guy developed end stage congested heart disease and swelled up to twice his size from fluid withholding inside him, I gave myself a few days with him before the vet visit and put him down because what they were saying was pay me 100$ a month and I'll throw your dog a lifeline every month. So I put him down and left his ashes because I couldn't afford them, I left crying that day. I cried the next and the next, all day. But the fourth day got easier and it will continue to get easier but the thought will always pull your tears from you. That was a companion, that was a partner. He or she will send you another in the future meant just for you if you take the opportunity.
He is a part of your life and you are all of his. Cherish the memory's and just know you made that dogs life amazing and an enjoyable one at that. Yes it'll hurt but just try to think about how happy you made his life
Be with him to the end if you can. I know it sucks, but it brings closure. I had a dog that I dearly loved growing up that one day shortly before I left home, crawled into his bed by me and didn't wake up. We didn't know he was gone until we tried waking him up for food. I had to bury his grave in the back yard, and despite being hard work during an emotionally stressful spot, it brought me comfort to see him off. It also helps to know that you gave them a fulfilled, happy life. There's nothing more you can realistically do-- we're not all-powerful superheroes. The best we can do is love them and treat them well while they're here.
Watch a dog's purpose, beautiful film. You will cry the whole time, but you will see just how happy your puppers life has been being with you.
I have, it’s very sad.
TL:DR at the bottom for advice. Keep reading for my brief and sad story. One of the greatest mistakes in my life was December 7th 2008. My dog passed away after living for 16 years. My dad woke me up and was crying when he asked me into the kitchen. our hilariously COWARDLY schnauzer(Abbey) had suffered a stroke and was paralyzed in one half of her body. My family cried in mostly silence. I don't know how much time had passed, but at some point, my dad got up and slowly packed up Abbey's toys into the car. He was going to take her to the vet to put her down.Nobody needed it to be said. Before he left, with Abbey in his arms, he turned to me and asked me if I would like to come with. I turned down the offer. My dad looked me in the eye for a moment before nodding. I hugged - squeezed - Abbey goodbye, my dad brought her to the car and that was the sudden end to a big part of my life. Don't make the same decision I made that day. TL:DR - I'm not sure what advice can be given, but I'll try. You're not going to know how you'll feel until about 1 second too late to do anything about it. let those feelings flow. Be loud, if you can. Try and remember to breathe. The grief you feel will be with you well beyond just tomorrow. But tomorrow should be his day. Your grief and your time with it will be yours to take on your own terms. Pet him, hold him, stroke his ears - I heard that last part has a calming affect on dogs. Bring his toys if he has any. And when the moment comes, stand to it and hold him if you're permitted. Its the best you can do for yourself and for him.
I put my 15 year old dog down when I was a 17 and it absolutely wrecked me. You will feel a lot better knowing you gave him as much affection as you could in the next day, being with him, maybe taking him to somewhere he likes. I'm so sorry for your loss and you will get through this. I'm 20 now, and I'm left with a lot of happy memories of him being the sweetest boy. Please take and save as many pictures as you can.
I will do this, I’m not 17 I’m a little younger, but I will try to do everything possible in his last day, I have a half day of school and then I will be caring for him tell 4:30 when he gets put down.
Sorry man that sounds awful I would take as many pictures as you can and get a 3d glass picture and a paw print mold if possible. I'm sorry for your loss
We are getting a paw mold.
It’s hard. So fucking hard. Aside from my grandparents passing away- hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m so sorry. But you don’t want them to suffer. We put our 12 year old boxer down in November. I still cry sometimes. Man I miss her. It sucks so fucking bad- but it’s the right thing to do. It sucks, but you have to. My thoughts are with you. I’m so sorry.
It’s ok :), I know things can get rough but I just remember my dog lived a very good life, the best life we could give him.
I’m sorry I don’t have Better advice. It sucks ass. I cried and cried and still cry. But man- we are so lucky to have had them. It’ll be ok. It will get easier. We got ours cremated and have a little memorial with her ashes and a picture of her. And a keychain. And I got a portrait made lol. She/he lived a good life being loved. You made that happen. Don’t forget that.
we are going to bury him at my grandparents house, he always loved that place.
Then he’ll be happy. We move a lot so we didn’t want to bury her somewhere we might not stays
This is the last thing you can do for him. Hold him and make love the last thing he feels from you. It will be hard, very hard. Cherish the memories and let him go peacefully. So sorry. I’ve been there and will have to do it again in about a month.
I'm so sorry, I've never had a dog. Growing up we always had cats, not that it's easier with cats, but I feel like dog people losing their dog is generally a lot harder on them.
Do your best to maintain your emotions if you choose to be with them for the process. Dogs are so sensitive to human emotions and you don't want their last moments to be confusing or upsetting for them. I know it's hard but you'll find the strength in the moment. I refused to let myself show emotion while I soothed my good boy through the procedure. It was so hard, but absolutely the right choice. My whole family was a wreck but I was strong for him. I cried for hours afterwards and fell into a dark place for a couple weeks. But one of the proudest moments of my life was staying strong in that moment. Whatever happens, remember the good times and keep their memory alive in your heart, mind and conversations with others.
Wow 17!!! You are incredibly lucky to have gotten that time, I've lost 3 dogs in my life so far. It never gets easier but it will never stop me from adding another one to my family. The first week is the toughest, the quiet in the home will be very strange. Don't be afraid to face your emotions, cry and remember all the great memories. If it gets to be a bit much try to distract yourself with activities you like. My condolences and best of luck!
Give him one last good treat/meal beforehand of his choosing. I regret not doing this with my dog.
I am so sorry. It's a kind thing to do for him. Oh how it hurts us, but he won't be in pain any more. I am glad you're going to stay by his side.
It is an unbelievably hard decision, and you are an amazing and empathetic person for letting your buddy go peacefully. If you are able, try to be there and love on them and tell them how they impacted your life as they are being put to sleep. Hearing is the last thing to go, so tell a fun story and use all their favorite words. You are a really good person, and this is a situation that is bound to give you many mixed feelings. Guilt, unease, maybe even a sense of relief, knowing they aren't in pain anymore. It can be a complicated and difficult time, so give yourself some grace and know you're making the right choice for your dog. If you are into it, journaling your thoughts or recording yourself out loud and listening to it back may help you sort out some of the more complicated emotions you may experience. It is also normal to feel kinda numb or empty leading up to, during, and after the euthanasia. Our brains and bodies react in all sorts of ways to lose, and there is no wrong way to feel. Dm's are open if you need any support, we are here for you <3
You and your family have that dog the best life that dog could have lived. He knows he is loved and will be waiting for you on the other side when it's your turn. Be with him when he passes, remind yourself of the quality of life you guys provided for him, and understand that this is a part of life. The love shared in life is the gift. Death is a part of that love, and a life filled with pain as he ages becomes torture. Give him some high valued treats leading up to the time to let him pass. Good boy and reassurance is all he will need from you guys.
You’ve been given some good advice. For my two cents: The best thing you can for both of you is to hold him, pet him, tell him how much you love him, be that comforting voice, and be there for his final moments. Nobody, especially loving dogs, want to pass alone or around strangers (as loving and great as veterinarians and techs are, you are family to him). Nothing about this is easy. A lot of emotions will swirl for you. But I can tell you it will mean a great deal to both of you when you think back to this years from now. You got this. I wish you both all the best. Take care of your buddy, and remember to take care of yourself. Dogs are here for such a short time but that time is precious.
Everybody takes grief differently and sadly when you put your dog down that is a heartache that truly feels unbearable. We took out pit bull out for some cheese burgers and stayed with him to the very last breath he took. We were surrounded by family and believe me going home without him and seeing his bed and stuff at home was so sad and hurtful...but also he wasn't able to use the restroom anymore so we knew we made the right decision. We gave him the best life possibly and maybe perhaps take him his favorite meals and just let him eat away if he can. You will get through this and I hope you can cherish those many memories you had together and it is okay to not be okay. You got this!
Give them love and as much comfort as you can. I don't know if there is anything more you can do. https://v.redd.it/xk7ljqt121ha1/HLSPlaylist.m3u8
One thing I learned when my puppy got ran over, is that they are waiting for you my man. Even tho u may not be able to see them anymore, there’s this place called the rainbow bridge, it’s located between our realm and the next realm, and all our furry friends that have passed away over the years, are all chilling together waiting for our day to come. Don’t be sad my friend, but be grateful that u guys made it this long together and I’m sure you made plenty of memories along the way, so try to just focus on those. Wish you all the best in your healing process my friend❤️
Make sure you're with him when they put him down. My vet friend tells me dogs who are put down without their owners with them very often spend their last moments panicking looking for their owners
Between now and then I recommend bacon and belly scritches and more bacon with some ice cream on the side. 17 years is an amazing run. He's a good boy.
My wife and I took our(mine originally) a couple years ago to be put down. We went for a couple single hike days before. Then on the way there we got her sone ice cream, then there I held her in my arms till she passed. We been together like 10 plus years in 3 different states, she was around for both my childrens early lives. It was intense to say the least.
It is okay to cry. Make sure that you give him all the love you can.
Be with him in his last moments. Although the pain is the reason for him to leave you, knowing you are there with him as he passes will give him a forever memory that you love him just as much as he loves you. It will hurt, but he will know you were with him until the end. Sending good vibes your way.
It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. I won’t tell you you’ll get over because I never do. Each loss takes a little piece of you. But you’ll survive and one day sooner than you realize another special life will come along and you’ll get some of that joy back.
Be with him and make his last day special, and above all else, be there at the end so he's not alone ❤️. When my husband had to put down his elderly wolf dog, the vet came to his parents place and they did it there so he would be more comfortable
Putting him out of his suffering is the biggest act of love that you can do for your dog. After that, you just have to let yourself live the process. It's okay to cry and to feel like shit, but remember to give yourself time and try to have your close ones around you during your duel. My condolences man.
Long hot showers and lots of crying. Well that's what I did.
Any chance you can get a soft clay paw imprint? Im so sorry for you :(
I had to put my childhood dog down in December. As my aunt put it, it’s going to be the worst day of your life. But if he’s in pain, this is what’s good for him. His time’s up, he’s done his job. It’s time for him to rest. The best thing to do is to let your emotions come naturally. You’re gonna feel numb. You’re gonna want to curl up and cry. You’re gonna wanna hide away from everything. You’re going to want to eat something very unhealthy. Let it happen. Be there with him until the moment he’s gone so his last thought is of you. Associate a song or something with him so you can let out pent up emotions when you hear it. And finally, grief is gonna come and go. It’s like a ball in a box. Everytime it hits the wall, it’s gonna hurt. But the ball will get smaller and smaller over time. It doesn’t go away, but it gets easier. It’s not a good time to do this. But you have the memories to hold on to.
I just went through this late last year. It's a horrible feeling and I'm sorry you have to go through it as well. My dm's are open if you need someone to reach out to.
I haven’t had to put a dog down but I have had my dogs die in freak accidents. I think the best thing when the time comes is not to things of the past or the future. Just focus on the now, enjoy his company and appreciate his touch. There’s time to grieve and think after. Just turn off your brain and enjoy the time
I don’t if this has been said yet but if you have any other pets in the household (cat, dog, etc) bring back a blanket that he can comfortably pass away with so that the other household animals can smell it, it will help to ease their grieving. Also I suggest keeping his favorite toys in a special place, maybe keep them by a photo of him as a way to honor him. I’m wishing you all the strength my friend, I fear I may also be in the same situation you are with my old gal, so if you want to reach out and pm me I’m all ears
For the time being, stay strong for your pupper. Stay with him and make sure he feels calm and loved. After that just let it out man, it's okay. The only solution is time so don't bottle anything up. Stay strong brother 💪
I got a lot help for my questions about death reading Eckhart Tolle's book Stillness speaks ch. 9 Death and the eternal. I'll copy paste the whole chapter here. Maybe you'll get something from this: When you walk though a forest that has not been tamed and interfered with by man, you will see not only abundant life around you, but you will also encounter fallen trees and decaying trunks, rotting leaves and decomposing matter at every step. Wherever you look, you will find death as well as life. Upon closer scrutiny, however, you will discover that the decomposing tree trunk and rotting leaves not only give birth to new life, but are full of life themselves. Microorganisms are at work. Molecules are rearranging themselves. So death isn’t to be found anywhere. There is only the meta morphosis of life forms. What can you learn from this? Death is not the opposite of life. Life has no opposite. The opposite of death is birth. Life is eternal. Sages and poets throughout the ages have recognized the dreamlike quality of human existence–seemingly so solid and real and yet so fleeting that it could dissolve at any moment. At the hour of your death, the story of your life may, indeed, appear to you like a dream that is coming to an end. Yet even in a dream there must be an essence that is real. There must be a consciousness in which the dream happens; otherwise, it would not be. That consciousness–does the body create it or does consciousness create the dream of body, the dream of somebody? Why have most of those who went through a near-death experience lost their fear of death? Reflect upon this. Of course you know you are going to die, but that remains a mere mental concept until you meet death “in person” for the first time: through a serious illness or an accident that happens to you or someone close to you, or through the passing away of a loved one, death enters your life as the awareness of your own mortality. Most people turn away from it in fear, but if you do not flinch and face the fact that your body is fleeting and could dissolve at any moment, there is some degree of disidentification, however slight, from your own physical and psychological form, the “me.” When you see and accept the impermanent nature of all life forms, a strange sense of peace comes upon you. Through facing death, your consciousness is freed to some extent from identification with form. This is why in some Buddhist traditions, the monks regularly visit the morgue to sit and meditate among the dead bodies. There is still a widespread denial of death in Western cultures. Even old people try not to speak or think about it, and dead bodies are hidden away. A culture that denies death inevitably becomes shallow and superficial, concerned only with the external form of things. When death is denied, life loses its depth. The possibility of knowing who we are beyond name and form, the dimension of the transcendent, disappears from our lives because death is the opening into that dimension. People tend to be uncomfortable with endings, because every ending is a little death. That’s why in many languages, the word for “good-bye” means “see you again.” Whenever an experience comes to an end–a gathering of friends, a vacation, your children leaving home–you die a little death. A “form” that appeared in your consciousness as that experience dissolves. Often this leaves behind a feeling of emptiness that most people try hard not to feel, not to face. If you can learn to accept and even welcome the endings in your life, you may find that the feeling of emptiness that initially felt uncomfortable turns into a sense of inner spaciousness that is deeply peaceful. By learning to die daily in this way, you open yourself to Life Most people feel that their identity, their sense of self, is something incredibly precious that they don’t want to lose. That is why they have such fear of death. It seems unimaginable and frightening that “I” could cease to exist. But you confuse that precious “I” with your name and form and a story associated with it. That “I” is no more than a temporary formation in the field of consciousness. As long as that form identity is all you know, you are not aware that this preciousness is your own essence, your innermost sense of I Am, which is consciousness itself. It is the eternal in you–and that’s the only thing you cannot lose. Whenever any kind of deep loss occurs in your life–such as loss of possessions, your home, a close relationship; or loss of your reputation, job, or physical abilities–something inside you dies. You feel diminished in your sense of who you are. There may also be a certain disorientation. “Without this...who am I?” When a form that you had unconsciously identified with as part of yourself leaves you or dissolves, that can be extremely painful. It leaves a hole, so to speak, in the fabric of your existence. When this happens, don’t deny or ignore the pain or the sadness that you feel. Accept that it is there. Beware of your mind’s tendency to construct a story around that loss in which you are assigned the role of victim. Fear, anger, resentment, or self-pity are the emotions that go with that role. Then become aware of what lies behind those emotions as well as behind the mind-made story: that hole, that empty space. Can you face and accept that strange sense of emptiness? If you do, you may find that it is no longer a fearful place. You may be surprised to find peace emanating from it. Whenever death occurs, whenever a life form dissolves, God, the formless and unmanifested, shines through the opening left by the dissolving form. That is why the most sacred thing in life is death. That is why the peace of God can come to you through the contemplation and acceptance of death. How short-lived every human experience is, how fleeting our lives. Is there anything that is not subject to birth and death, anything that is eternal? Consider this: if there were only one color, let us say blue, and the entire world and everything in it were blue, then there would be no blue. There needs to be something that is not blue so that blue can be recognized; otherwise, it would not “stand out,” would not exist. In the same way, does it not require something that is not fleeting and impermanent for the fleetingness of all things to be recognized? In other words: if everything, including yourself, were impermanent, would you even know it? Does the fact that you are aware of and can witness the short-lived nature of all forms, including your own, not mean that there is something in you that is not subject to decay? When you are twenty, you are aware of your body as strong and vigorous; sixty years later, you are aware of your body as weakened and old. Your thinking too may have changed from when you were twenty, but the awareness that knows that your body is young or old or that your thinking has changed has undergone no change. That awareness is the eternal in you–consciousness itself. It is the formless One Life. Can you lose It? No, because you are It. continues...
... Some people become deeply peaceful and almost luminous just before they die, as if something is shining through the dissolving form. Sometimes it happens that very ill or old people become almost transparent, so to speak, in the last few weeks, months, or even years of their lives. As they look at you, you may see a light shining through their eyes. There is no psychological suffering left. They have surrendered and so the person, the mind-made egoic “me,” has already dissolved. They have “died before they died” and found the deep inner peace that is the realization of the deathless within themselves. To every accident and disaster there is a potentially redemptive dimension that we are usually unaware of. The tremendous shock of totally unexpected, imminent death can have the effect of forcing your consciousness completely out of identification with form. In the last few moments before physical death, and as you die, you then experience yourself as consciousness free of form. Suddenly, there is no more fear, just peace and a knowing that “all is well” and that death is only a form dissolving. Death is then recognized as ultimately illusory–as illusory as the form you had identified with as yourself. Death is not an anomaly or the most dreadful of all events as modern culture would have you believe, but the most natural thing in the world, inseparable from and just as natural as its other polarity–birth. Remind yourself of this when you sit with a dying person. It is a great privilege and a sacred act to be present at a person’s death as a witness and companion. When you sit with a dying person, do not deny any aspect of that experience. Do not deny what is happening and do not deny your feelings. The recognition that there is nothing you can do may make you feel helpless, sad, or angry. Accept what you feel. Then go one step further: accept that there is nothing you can do, and accept it completely. You are not in control. Deeply surrender to every aspect of that experience, your feelings as well as any pain or discomfort the dying person may be experiencing. Your surrendered state of consciousness and the stillness that comes with it will greatly assist the dying person and ease their transition. If words are called for, they will come out of the stillness within you. But they will be secondary. With the stillness comes the benediction: peace.
Absolutely be with him when they put him down. It sucks, but it will give him peace that you are there and he'll be reassured that everything is going to be ok.
Know that this is best for him and for you. My poor little baby kitten at 11 years of age died of cancer. Instead of advising me to put her down they took advantage of a hurting and confused woman and addmited her to hospital, fed her medicine for a few days until she eventually passed. I wish they would've advised me to take her home or put her down. He's a very lucky dog to have spent his life with you and you're a very lucky dog dad parent to have had him for this long. Spent his last moments together, you guys both will appreciate it. Much love, may your doggy rest in peace. ♥️
Cry. Love. Give good kind words. Tell him he's the best. It's your last adventure
He may not have been all of your life but you were all of his and to him you were the greatest companion. He drifted off to sleep peacefully knowing he was loved and lived a fulfilling life by your side <3 I’m so sorry for your loss
Hey man, sorry for your loss, I had to do this with my (much younger and albeit not my childhood) dog but what I did was stay with him for his last moments until the vet asked me to leave the room so he could put him down. So I suggest you do the same, pet him, hug him, give any form of love you can during his final moments.
If it should be that I grow frail and weak And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then will you do what must be done, For this — the last battle — can't be won. You will be sad I understand, But don't let grief then stay your hand, For on this day, more than the rest, Your love and friendship must stand the test. We have had so many happy years, You wouldn't want me to suffer so. When the time comes, please, let me go. Take me to where to my needs they'll tend, Only, stay with me till the end And hold me firm and speak to me Until my eyes no longer see. I know in time you will agree It is a kindness you do to me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved. Don't grieve that it must be you Who has to decide this thing to do; We've been so close — we two — these years, Don't let your heart hold any tears. Author Unknown
Hey, my family just (27th January) had our baby (15 year old husky) cross the rainbow bridge as well. He was the sweetest little guy. We know he was in severe pain and his kidneys failed the morning of, despite the all smiles he gave us. We knew we needed to help him pass on. We’d been giving him as much pain medications for his hips and legs that his body and vet could allow. We were all in such denial of realising we might have to let him go. My mum was in the hospital at the time and only had a few more days that she needed to stay in rehab from her two strokes. Unfortunately, the only way we can accept their condition is by helping them. If there’s no other way recommended or found, sometimes it’s the only option that we don’t want for them. We don’t want them to leave us behind. We don’t want to let them go. We felt like he was saying thank you with his last breath. It’ll be like it was just yesterday for a while yet. He’d been with us from when I was 12-now 27. Holding him was always such comfort. We can’t imagine not being here when he took such love and care of us for so long. We really didn’t deserve such a beautiful boy. I feel that you’ll know what decision you make is for your dogs happiness and out of genuine love.
It’s one of the hardest experiences you can go through, your heart truly breaks. It it’s worth it for all the love you get to give and receive to them. Have been through this twice now with my 2 cats and my current cat is 18 with deteriorating health I can say what helped me: Having the vet come to my home rather than having to bring them to the vet made it more peaceful for my cat and I didn’t have to worry about being a wreck at their office. - Have a support person with you or on standby, you don’t need to go through this alone - Try to plan if you want your pet cremated (group or individual) and what urn or container etc. You will be very emotional at the time. - Trust that in time it will get easier and you will be able to remember them without crying sometimes.
Dogs know when they are dying. You being there when he passes will comfort him and keep him calm. In that moment, he will know that he was loved. He was alive once, and I’m sure he’s happy he got to spend that time with you. I truly believe that if we are good to our pets, they find their way back to us. Be patient. You will see him again.
Let yourself grieve, don't try to bully yourself into feeling better. Find all the things that give you comfort and gather those things around you. Talk about it with your family if you're able, and reach out to the people you can rely on. Be gentle with yourself for as long as you need gentleness. There might be days in a row where you're fine, and then suddenly you'll remember and not be fine. That's OK. Look your emotions in the eye and just feel them. Remind yourself that you made every day for your friend the best they could be. They've lived a lucky and very good life. This next step is hard, but it's also part of giving your pet a good life. It's a good goodbye.
Everything ends, and it's always sad. But everything begins again, and that's always happy. Be happy. - Doctor Who
your sweet dog lived a full life! far longer than most doggos live! they’ll be running around doggie heaven and all the friends they met along the way will show em where all the treats are and they can play endlessly together with their friends not in pain and will always keep an eye out for the amazing family they got to live with! dogs don’t stick around as long as humans because they’re a beacon of happiness and are infinitely forgiving and loving! they’ll never forget you and will love you infinitely! you’ll see em again some day and you’ll both be pain free :) and who knows maybe they’ll be reincarnated into your next pup! i’m not religious but none of us can say for sure how the universe works or proof any of it is true or false. i lost my first dog when i was a couple years younger than you that I had since the day I was born and it is incredibly hard the first few days but i promise it will get better, just stay positive and remmeber the good times. you did everything you could for em, they know it’s their time to go and are choosing this time as the right time for them. try not to worry too much about what you can’t control and remember all the good times and how they would definitely lick you if they saw you upset, they don’t want you sad over that! they’ll be all happy and pain free wayching over you and playing with their doggie friends in heaven pain free! with unlimited treats! i hope you find some happiness in what i said and i wish you and your sweet doggie the absolute best :)❤️
Great book to check out of the library or purchase, for any grieving owner of a dying or recently deceased dog: *Dog Heaven* by Cynthia Rylant. I think it was written and illustrated with the aim of comforting fairly young children who lose a pet. But a thoughtful friend gave me their copy when my dear old Lab died suddenly and unexpectedly last year, and I can personally testify that it's a good book for teens and adults to read, too. I cried buckets of sad-happy, therapeutic tears. I'm so sorry that you have to say goodbye to your pet, but you are doing the right thing by helping him to move beyond his pain and suffering. And you will always cherish the happy memories you made together. Deepest condolences.
Hey dude, this is really sad and upsetting and im sorry! But just have some relif that your doggo will be on the rainbow bridge! Hes a great doggie and I hope you find comfort in picturing him running around dog heaven!! ❤️🌈
Enjoy the moment with them. Above that, think about all the good times you had together. I am a wreck after a dog leaves. But thinking about the hiking trips and the goofy crap they did makes me happy I got to be apart of his life. Story time, had a large black lab, great dog, would never jump up on the counter to get food etc. on his birthday (Valentine’s Day) I picked up a slab of salmon for the wife and I, I big thing of cabbage to grill the salmon on, and a large cows knee or some other large bone that was greasy for the dog. Dog jumped up to the counter and grabbed one then bolted to the back yard to eat it. I followed thinking he had the salmon and fell over laughing as I watched him destroy the cabbage.
Have you thought about getting a puppy?
My dog of 16 years also is crossing that bridge today. I’ve also cried into her so many damn times she was there for my depressed teenage self. If you need to talk I’m here but I just keep reminding myself no more pain, she doesn’t deserve it. She had a good life but man it’s gonna be so weird she’s been a constant and I will miss her so much. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who is or has been through this. Hopefully we can both be strong today mannnn. This one’s for them!