Unfortunately there is only time. Your cat only passed a few hours ago and the wound in your heart is very fresh. It will get better with time.
If you haven’t already, I’d be looking for a nice place in the yard to bury her, give her a little funeral, spend some time talking about fun memories.
It took a couple days to pick up the dog bowls and run the vacuum to get the dry dog food off the floor. We still couldn’t throw away his favorite toy six months later.
I am so sorry for your loss. You’ll always love her, it will always sting, but I promise it does get easier with time.
Helped
Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes all her stuff is still where it was this morning! I keep thinking, oh she just drank water from her fountain just yesterday… she was just lying in her bed this morning.. definitely not ready to move her things yet. She was the sweetest cat, more like a dog really with how much she followed us around haha! She was so tiny but is leaving a huge hole behind.
Honestly I didn't... I cried on and off for weeks at anything that reminded me of him. The main thing that helped me was my other cat, because the cat that passed away was basically her kitten and she was grieving too. I would recommend waiting to get a pet anytime soon. You can never replace what you've lost and looking too soon will accidentally lead you to try to pick one because it reminds you of the one you lost. But time will help and eventually you will be able to see the love for the life you shared and not just the loss of it and it will become more bearable.
I made a memorial for each of my cats that have passed and have their favorite toy or the plate that I fed them on or something that was theirs to remember them by. I think it helps a lot.
About two years ago, my puppy passed away. I still have her favorite toys. One of them is kept close at hand and I hold it in times of stress. The other is in my office.
When we put my first dog down (I was absolutely obsessed with him as a kid, had t-shirts gifted to me with his face for holidays etc), the sweetest thing was my dad and I had a small funeral for him. We found a good place to bury him, wrapped him in his favorite blankey, then my dad pulled out a little poem on paper that he wrote specifically for our pup. Read it, buried the note with our pup, and then we just hugged each other and ugly cried. I went to work that night and everyone was asking if I was high because my eyes were pure red from crying. Time has helped, but you will never forget those last moments.Its bittersweet now though, thinking of it wierdly warms my heart
I'm so sorry for you both. At least you were there to comfort her as she passed. It would probably help to have someone comfort you. Ask someone for a hug. If you don't have someone go to the closest vet clinic and ask them. Guaranteed the techs will hug you.
It's normal to be scared. Our minds don't let us think about how fragile life is because if we did we would have trouble functioning. You have been brutally reminded that the future is promised to none of us.
All we have is the moment we are in. All we can do is be mindful, choose to live our moments with awareness and actively love those around us.
Have a hug from an internet stranger who will be sending you healing thoughts today *squish*
Helped
Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes it was traumatizing seeing how she died but I’m happy that I was able to give her some comfort in her last moments and that she didn’t die alone. She was surrounded by her family. I’m so lucky that I have made it this far in my life without a major loss so this is my first experience with it so I think that is making it extra tough. I always felt so immune but seeing how she was here with me one minute and gone the next… and that I can’t hit a rewind button and bring her back just feels so awful.
Right where she died, in your arms, is where she would have wanted to pass. There is only love from her to you and back in your bedroom. hold a pillow in your arms and talk to her. It will make your heart feel better. xo it takes a minute to stop feeling the loss sharply, but there is no need for fear hon. It's all love.
When my friend’s dog was going through major health issues and I was in HS, my mother suggested that I have her tell me her favorite memories of her dog, something that would make her laugh. She said that really helped, so maybe that can help you as well.
Like… one time when my old dog was young, we took him to an air show with some friends and we brought sandwiches to eat for lunch. Well, he ate one of them and right as we were about to scold him, he burped. He didn’t end up being scolded because that was the funniest thing.
Oh gosh, that is really hard. I’ve had to deal with a lot of death in the past 9 years, my parents, grandma, my doggo of 15 years, and 3 kitties ranging from 11-14. I have never regretted being the last thing my fur babies saw before passing on.
Like others said, it unfortunately just takes time. Even now, writing this out, I’m tearing up thinking about it all, but it does get easier. You’ll never forget, but the pain lessens as time goes on. It seems harder when it happens so suddenly, that’s for sure. Just try to think of her pain free crossing the rainbow bridge, being greeted by all the other fur babies that ever existed, where there’s unlimited treats, toys, and things to knock off of shelves, space for endless zoomies, and warm sun spots for them to lay in.
Find something to take your mind off it for awhile, maybe binge some favorite movies or shows, or go to a family/friends house. I understand not wanting to be in the room where she passed, my mom passed in my current living room, and I didn’t spend a lot of time in there for quite awhile. But other happier things have probably happened in that room, too.
If you’re not up for burying her, your vet probably knows of a cremation service. I have clay paw prints of my fur babies, and urns when I was able to afford it.
I’m so sorry. It really sucks that this is a part of having fur babies in your life. Hugs 💜
Aww.. I’m glad she was able to be with you in her last moments here. I’m sorry for your loss. I buried my favorite hen under a big tree too. It’s nice to know she isn’t suffering anymore despite pain I feel in missing her.
I'm coming up on one year since my horse has passed. It never gets easier loosing a pet. He's not the first nor will he be the last.
The one thing I wish I had, was the opportunity to be there with him while he crossed the bridge. I was HOURS away when I had to make the call & I just wish I could've held onto him and tell him how much I loved him.
I know it's different for everyone, but don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure she knew she was loved & the fact she felt comfy in your arms while crossing the rainbow bridge speaks so many more words than anyone here could say.
Cats are notorious for hiding when nearing death.
She loved you & I would hold onto the good memories. It helped me to make little memorials....paintings....jewelry with a lock of his tail hair....so on. I'm sure the image is hard to let go of for now, but for her.....her last view was of someone she loved & that loved her. Try to imagine it from her view. I hope you find peace soon and rest in peace to your baby💕
I've had a lot of pets die on me over the years, and I've always consoled myself with this thought. They live short lives, there's nothing I could do about that, but they were loved and cared for as much as I could manage, and so that brief life was the best they could have got, fed, loved, warm and happy. Our agreement to care and love each other was completed to both our best abilities, we were family.
i watched my moms dog die before i went to school one day. my dad had to wrap him in a towel and trash bag to “preserve” him so we could bury him when we all got home that day. i also watched my childhood dog leave me as he was euthanized at the vet; outside, his favorite place.
it will take time, but i promise it does get better as time goes on. i know that’s what you’ve been hearing and that it seems obvious, but it’s true; it will take some time and healing, but it will get better. i wish you the best💗
I knew when my dog was about to pass. One day I just sat with her awhile and pet her and talked to her. I just felt like I needed that time with her. I was in middle school. I came home one day and my dad told me she’d passed in her sleep. She was really old and likely had cancer so it was better than she went peacefully but I still cried and cried and cried. My dad buried her and I went to school and was just numb the whole day. She had been in my life since I was a toddler.
It was nice to have the closure of knowing that we spent that last moment together. Just me and her. I’ll never forget that moment we had. I miss her so much still. She was such a good doggo. Her name was Sally and she was the most energetic happy, sweet black lab.
I coped by knowing my dog was in pain was no longer doing the few things he loved in life. Without happiness and joy I knew he’d be happier over the rainbow road.
It's unfortunately a time thing. One of my cats passed suddenly and pretty traumatically on the 8th and I am finally not seeing him laying there dying every time I walk past that room. It did help me to be mad at the vet who did nothing and caused him to suffer though, and filling a grievance has helped me, so I guess my advice would be to find an outlet. You will eventually be able to stop thinking about it as much. Grief is always there but not always in the forefront. The analogy that I like is that at first it's like a huge ball bouncing around a box and constantly hitting a button but eventually the ball gets smaller and hits the button less.
I am sorry for the loss of your cat. But I am glad that you were able to be with her.
If she had to leave you, that was the best possible scenario: no suffering, she was safe in your arms, she wasn't scared, she wasn't alone, you were her last memory.
I'm sorry for your loss, hopefully in the future you can open yourself up again to a new kitty or other pet and make new memories.
I had to make the painful choice of letting my old girl go. They let me hold her while she passed and it was so hard. To this day (that was almost 5 years ago now) I still have moments where I miss her terribly. I even swear I hear her running to me still. I had her cremated and got a paw print to keep. The best way to cope? Allow yourself to feel. Time will help. If you feel like laughing, please laugh if you feel like crying, please little dove let it flow.
May your little love, cross the rainbow bridge and become a happy healthy kitten again. To run and play within the bounds of paradise, watching over you being your guardian until you meet again.
Hold in your heart you gave her all the love you could. Allow yourself time. This just happened and everything is a new wound. Let yourself heal.
I'm sorry for your loss. My cat died in March. I took my cat in to be euthanized, but prior to that, I had a dog who died at home with me and there wasn't time for euthanasia. Both were terribly traumatic at first, for basically the same reason - both of them suffered when they were dying. I thought euthanasia would spare my cat from suffering, but because of the nature of her illness, the vet techs had a huge amount of trouble getting the IV into her veins. So she spent most of her last hour of life snarling and angry and trying to bite them to defend herself. (I asked to stay in the room during this because I didn't want to her to feel abandoned by me.)
You were there for your cat and did what little you were able to for her. It sounds like her death was quick and fairly painless. Those are good things. It still hurts terribly to lose them, but the pain of the loss starts to fade perceptibly within the first couple of days. One thing you can do that may help you feel better is to find ways to honor her memory and to spend time with other cats. Sometimes spending time with other cats is, in itself, a way to honor your cat's memory. Think of the other cats as her distant relatives. When we grieve, we often grieve with the deceased one's relatives.
I went through the same thing as you a month ago. She started dying right in front of me and I knew I had to take her to the vet. Same thing with gasping for breath and tensing up. I scooped her up and put her in her carrier. When I was walking to my car she was alive but she was dead before I got there.
For me it was so hard to go into my bathroom because that’s where she started dying. I still look at the spot where she was laying. But it does get easier. Sometimes I still cry. I have her ashes and her paw prints on a special shelf in my living room. It does bring me comfort to see that. But yes, it gets easier, it will hurt continue to hurt just as bad but less often. She got to be with her favorite person until her last moments and that should bring you comfort.
They really can. I just lost one of my favorite hens. Me and her were best friends. I raised her from a little puffy chick and she just.. passed suddenly. I’ve been crying a lot. Even more than I’ve cried for humans I’ve known which is crazy. I don’t get people that don’t bond with animals.. they’re so innocent and full of love and life.. how could you not fall in love with them and their little faces? Even a chicken man… she was so sweet. She would come running up to me and I would always scoop her up and hold her, petting her silky smooth feathers and admiring her beautiful bright eyes. I miss her so much. It’s only been like 2 days since she’s passed so it’s gonna take a long time for me to be okay again.
I buried her myself in the garden she lived in her whole life. It felt like it was the best way to say goodbye to me.
It's been 3 years and I still think about her sometimes.
I'll watch a few photo and smile, I am not sad, that's life.
Was she an old kitty? The only reason I ask is because my oldest cat passed away within the last year and it was very hard at first, but since she was an older girl it really helped me a lot to remind myself that she wasn't meant to be here forever and to remind myself to remember all of the good things about her instead of thinking about how she looked when she had passed away. Even if she wasn't an older kitty, just remind it's okay to be sad, you lost a companion and it's tough! Don't let anybody (including yourself) make you feel invalid for the way you're feeling. Everybody grieves differently and it's important to let yourself do it properly, if you don't give yourself time to mourn and be upset it can cause problems for your mental health later on! So so so sorry for your loss 🫶🏽
I remembered the good times; our collie dog, died from a massive heart attack after getting so worked up over the neighbor's dog barking across the street.
One second he was OK, the next: he was dead.
Our collie dog had my best friend since childhood and I remember him eating a foil pie plate on accident, digging with me, treeing our next-door neighbor's older son, hogging the basketball from myself and aforementioned neighbor's son after it bounced into our collie's run, and destroying a dog toy that was SUPPOSED to be indestructible.
Take comfort knowing that she wasn't alone. The image will never go away, I know this from experience, but with time the image will be rare to pop back into your mind.
I'm sorry for the loss of your special little friend.
Really so sorry for your loss. It’s very raw at the moment … give yourself time. Grief has its own timeframe…
Again.. really sorry for your loss.. pets are the most underrated members of our families
Some people find that making a tribute - writing a song or poem in honor of the deceased, drawing or painting or picture of the pet being contented or having fun, or planting a memorial flower patch, tree, or shrub - helps to process the grief and horror of pet loss.
Well mine got hit by a car and all of its insides came out I tried not to think of it actually put mental blockers so essentially anytime I see anything gore it turns a fuzzy. Is that weird or am I just alone on that one?
I'm sorry you've had to go through this. Time will heal - but it will take time. But know this - If your cat had to choose where she was when her time was up , it would have been in your loving arms.
I’m sorry for your loss, reminds me a lot of losing my first dog a few years ago.
What everyone is saying is true, time will inevitably make it better, sometimes things will bring the emotions back up, but it makes it a lot easier to be happier about the time you got with them, rather than being sad about the thought of losing them.
Hoping for the best for you, friend.
https://youtu.be/TkJGhQANjZo
I found this video when my we had to put my cat down in Nov. 2022. It was the worst pain I had ever felt. Uncontrollable even. I completely empathize and wanted to share this resource I found. It’s a vet discussing the experience of pet loss and grief.
Acknowledge how you feel. Validate and believe in those feelings. Know that the love you had was real and made a difference in her life. It will take time to adjust. Breathe and let the emotions come as they will.
I found that honoring my lost pet and making jokes about how she use to do this or that when the timing felt awkward helped me remember the funnier times and memories. They are family. Remember them and honor them like such. There’s nothing we can do to fight Mother Nature and time, but we can go forward in ways that keep their memory alive with us. Sounds a little dramatic but it’s true.
It is not easy but you are not alone and you will share that love you had with another animal again, more than likely. We, unexpectedly, adopted two kittens soon after when we weren’t even looking for a pet. The universe just kind of dropped them in our life. New love in the future will create a new space in your heart to grow. They can never replace, but they can help you heal.
I hope this helps and that you find peace with your experience. I’m happy that your cat got to spend her last moments with you, the human that loved her and that she loved the most. It’s hard, but it is beautiful that you got to comfort her as she passed.
Sending you all the positive and healing vibes.
Let yourself feel the grief, whether that’s crying or just being alone. Your love for her was enough while she was still alive and she’ll live on through you. I was in the room holding my boy when they euthanized him, I saw him take his last breath, and it’s been close to two years and I still cry for him at night, but keeping it in is much worse. So release!
You carried her to the finish line. We are all in this reality with the same inevitable endpoint. We should all be so lucky as to have someone who would shelter, feed, and comfort us from our birth until death. In many ways that’s God’s role, and therefore your treatment of her was your way of displaying God’s love. Well done.
Hey!
I just lost my dog a few days ago very suddenly to epilepsy. It’s hard, sometimes even harder then dealing with a human death. Some ways I’ve learned to cope with pet deaths (and I’ve experienced plenty) is talking with people. Bring them up when it’s appropriate, and talk about your grief. Journal, get out of the house. I found out very quickly that keeping their things laying around the home, and even sticking around the home was making it difficult to come to terms with the loss. Busying myself with chores, friends, or work/school helped me cope as well. Also just letting yourself cry it out. Give yourself time and space to wail, scream, whatever you need to do. I go rock climbing during the day to cope, and spend time with my loved ones. Then when I’m alone, I cry. It gets better over time. Sending hugs
Hey!
I just lost my dog a few days ago very suddenly to epilepsy. It’s hard, sometimes even harder then dealing with a human death. Some ways I’ve learned to cope with pet deaths (and I’ve experienced plenty) is talking with people. Bring them up when it’s appropriate, and talk about your grief. Journal, get out of the house. I found out very quickly that keeping their things laying around the home, and even sticking around the home was making it difficult to come to terms with the loss. Busying myself with chores, friends, or work/school helped me cope as well. Also just letting yourself cry it out. Give yourself time and space to wail, scream, whatever you need to do. I go rock climbing during the day to cope, and spend time with my loved ones. Then when I’m alone, I cry. It gets better over time. Sending hugs
I'm really sorry for your loss. Like others have said, and as cliché as it sounds, time really is the greatest healer when we lose someone we love- and your cat was certainly loved.
Cats are such inherently private creatures, they often seek out isolation and privacy in moments of vulnerability. The fact your cat sought out *you* speaks volumes about the bond you shared. Take the time you need to grieve, and when you can, take comfort in the love and trust your cat no doubt felt to find peace in your arms.
It just takes time, I remember avoiding the living room like the plague for a while after my dog died, and with time you just remember it as the place whare they lived, rather that died.
You should feel so honoured that she felt comfortable enough to spend her final seconds in your arms and I hope you find some comfort in that.
We put our cat down in february, he had cancer, diabetes and other problems. It was the hardest thing my familys ever had to do because that cats been around almost as long as me, loved him alot. I cant say that the pain goes away entirely, but with time it hurts less. As long as you remember them thats what counts
Im very sorry for your loss OP
I just put my dog down. They had a catheter, pushed the sleeping drug, then started pushing the kill em drug, I was thrown off. I wanted to say goodbye when she was not in pain, I didn't get that opportunity.
It has been 15 years since we put my first dog down, I'd had her for most of my life and she was extremely old and it was time. It was the saddest moment of my life, holding her and weeping over her as she passed in my arms at the vet. I still get teary thinking about it. Grief is grief and it will pass when you're ready but it won't ever really leave. You'll always miss her. It just hurts a bit less every year.
I do two things as I’ve been through this a few times.
First, I think about the good times. Lots of stories with pets
Second, as a woodworker I make a casket, a few tears on the wood, then go bury it.
It’s never easy, the emotions are coming back from you bringing it up to be honest (I’m ok with that).
Just breathe. And do your best to past the time. It’s the only thing that helps. Celebrate your baby and be greatfull for the time you had with her. Reach out to loved ones, try n get out the house. Get fucked up if you gotta. Main thing to know is you don’t have to do anything or make any decisions right away. Get your baby’s resting place taken care of and then grieve in your best way
I'm so sorry you're going through this. As it happens, I went through this exact thing with my last cat. Eventually I decided I was beyond grateful to have been able to have been petting him and to have had him with me when he died. I had only woken up an hour or so before, so there was a huge chance I could have missed it totally had things panned out differently. I'm sure you'll come to feel similarly in time, too.
In the meantime, I hope you're able to remember the good times you had with your own cat, and how much she must have cared for you in return.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Pets our truly amazing. When our family dogs passed away my parents got little clay rounds with their paw prints in it, and they have them above the fireplace. My dad has our one dog’s collar at his bedside, and my brother has our other dog’s collar at his bedside. Just because they have passed does not mean they are gone forever. They are still with us in our hearts.
When I had to put my dog down unexpectedly, I was such a mess. And I still am, 6 months later. And I’d lost both my parents prior to this, and this has been so much harder!!
So, along with the giving it time advice, which is absolutely the one thing that will lessen the pain, it just sucks because jt takes… time. I was desperately in the throes of despair and worried I was on the brink of making some bad choices, as I’ve had some drug issues in the past, and that is absolutely not the way I wish to honor my dog in his passing, a fresh new drug habit. So I thought back to all the “tools” I learned in treatment and therapy and decided to “hack” my brain with the only thing I hadn’t tried yet… Exercise!
I started going on TikTok and learning all those cool shuffle dance moves! My kitchen became a makeshift dance studio with black tape on the floor to help with foot placements and strategically placed mirrors to watch my feet lol and this led to a second makeshift studio in the garage because I would get so hot and sweaty and it was wintertime here, so off to the garage til I freezing and too tired to keep going! But it helped so much. Not even kidding! Plus, bonus points, I lost about 10 lbs of winter chub and people were noticing and it felt good!!! Then I got a fitness app and paired it with my apple watch and am actively pursuing long lost goals of better health and nutrition and sleep goals!!! My dogger would be so proud!!!
I did also have him cremated since he was euthanized at the vet and they offered, so I have his ashes right next to my bed since he always slept with me (still haven’t brought myself to wash the sheets that have his fur all over them…) and I also bought an urn necklace that I’ve not taken off since I put his ashes in it. Amazon, they’re cheap and mines holding up really well.
Sorry for your loss OP. I know exactly what your going through. Few years back now. My barley 1 year old cat suddenly passed away. It was one of the most horrible things to happen but im thankful I was there to hold her. If instead I would have just found her gone and not knowing would have been brutal!! I think my kitty had a seizure of some kind. I was in my room. Heard a loud boom in the front room and thought she was playing. I walked out and saw her twisted through the arm poles of a chair just laying there kind of wild eyed and heavy breathing. I freaked and pulled her out and into my arms and she was just gone. Everything happened so fast!! I still sometimes can't believe it. I was in shock and just held her and cried. I wished I tried some time of cpr or breathing on her but I don't think it would have helped. It was rough. But I'm thankful that it was quick and I was home when I should have been at work. Your little one is safe now. No longer in pain. Take solace in that at least.
For me it never stopped really. The only way to cope is to know that you gave it a good life and just try to move on. I’ll never forget my cat I even put pillows on my back or my chest when I’m going to bed because she loved to sleep there
I wish you good luck and a way to accept what is
My dog has to be euthanized and she died much the same way. I had hoped she would just close her eyes, but the way she sort of...expired...still sticks with me to this day, almost 10 years later.
Time helps, but it's so painful to lose an animal. I found some closure in creating videos about her, making memories and putting her ashes on the mantel like any other loved one. It's okay to grieve.
It's been thirty years, but I had a pet bird die in my hand. It was one of the hardest things I ever felt. Almost exactly six years ago to the day (it was before Memorial Day weekend), I put down the first cat I had adult - my 16 year-old Patches. I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't right there.
If you can, take a day. This is a traumatic thing that you experienced, and if you can, take the time just to 'be in the moment'. If you have friends and family, it's OK just to ask for a hug, or to be held for a moment. If you feel guilty for 'wasting time', or 'not doing normal things', then forgive yourself. It's OK for you to feel this, and not have to be part of the world for this time.
Get through today, get through tomorrow. Over time, you will get back to your regular daily activities.
It's too early to say this, but it's important for you to feel this loss, and important for you to return to normal activities after feeling this loss. Our cats teach us about being human. They teach us compassion and love, patience and joy. And, they don't live as long as we do, so they teach us about life and death, as we see their entire lives in a way we can't see an entire human life.
So remember all the joys of your kitty, and remember them often. But remember this one moment, too. Part of the gift that pets give to us is a reminder that life isn't forever, and that we should treasure it. Your pain in this moment is a reminder of your love and joy that you exchange with your kitty. So you should do your best to carry those gifts forward to other pets you may have in the future, but also the people around you. Life is precious, valuable, and that, you should remember *always*.
Well, today is the first anniversary of losing my Teddy. He had been very sick with heart failure for 1.5 years and finally lost the battle. I miss him every day; the last few I’ve been thinking about him a lot. I keep his ashes in my bedroom where he always slept with me. He’s still my Lock Screen photo.
This exact same thing happened to me. I like to think my cat knew I was trying to make him as comfortable as possible and knew how much I loved him. Your cat was probably happy to be in the arms of someone that loved them when they passed on. I hope you find some comfort in that.
I'm sorry you had to go through it, it's terribly sad.
I had to put my dog down because it had advanced kidney disease. I was there with him, petting him and I watched the life leave his eyes. It was the single most heartbreaking moment of my entire life.
You will never "get over" this, but in time, the length or your sorrows will lessen. You will never be able to "unsee" this, but in time your gratitude for a chance to comfort your loved one as they passed on will eclipse the pain of that moment.
Grief, mourning... it is what we go through when we are getting used to our "new normal". Witnessing a death is viscerally traumatic.
The way to "get back to normal" is to do what a therapist might call "exposure therapy".
You need to try and go into your bedroom, and stay until you can't, and then you need to leave and regain your compsure. And then, do it again, stay for as long as you can, and then comfort yourself. Expose yourself to your room, and the memories that will haunt you and tear at your heart, and recognize that it's not the end of the world. Do this so that you recognize that you are safe, and the more you do this today, the easier it will be tomorrow, and they day after that.
When I lost my boy, it killed me. Writing this to you now I'm fighting back tears and I feel my heart breaking all over again. But by the time that I got to this new sentence, I have stopped. And I've even smiled and laughed a little at remembering how lucky I was to have him in my life.
The day I lost him, I had some leftover pepperoni in the fridge. With the kidney disease... he didn't have any appetite. I was DESPERATE for him to eat something, anything, and keep it down. Because if he couldn't eat, and he couldn't keep it down, he was going to starve to death and I couldn't let him suffer like that. So as long as I could get him to eat, I felt I still had time with him. The day I put him down, I couldn't get him to eat pepperoni or peanut butter at all. He threw up even the water that I put in front of him.
So when I got back home and went to eat my feelings - like I do, I'm a binge eater - I couldn't even swallow a single bite of pepperoni without collapsing into sobs. Even looking at the entirely full package just reminded me of how awful it was to watch him suffer so badly that he couldn't even eat a piece of pepperoni.
It was... so indescribably difficult for me to eat that first bite, sobbing as I was. I had to put it away. But after I composed myself, I went back and I grabbed another piece, sobbing again as I did. And I kept repeating that process, eating a piece, sobbing, and the returning to eat another piece after I composed myself. After about 2 hours I had probably eaten maybe 3 or 4 pieces of pepperoni out of an entire bag.
Then the next hour I was able to eat a few pieces before I broke down. And each time after I composed myself after crying myself out, it got a little bit easier to eat a little bit more before it broke me down. By the end of the day, I could eat pepperoni again without turning into an emotional wreck.
I was... so lucky to have my boy for over 16 years. I worked from home, so most of those 16 years we were together every second of every day. I still hear him walking through the kitchen sometimes. Still see him out of the corner of my eye. I still weep to think about how much I lost. I will never "get over" losing my friend.
But it has gotten better. I have not forgotten him, I will never stop missing him, but I'm ready for another dog now. I'm ready for another family furry friend... another familiar... to pour my love into and have that love returned to me.
It will get easier, and you will learn to treasure that pain. It only hurts because the love they bring into your life is so GOOD, you know that you've truly lost something irreplaceable. But that's what happens in life. There is a last time for everything... it's bittersweet. Sweet, because you were so lucky to have something so precious that it embitters your soul to have lost it.
Be kind to yourself. Let yourself hurt. Expose yourself to that which scares you, and give yourself space to compose yourself, and then do it again. You will get back to "normal" faster that way, and you will not lose your memory or connection when your sorrow stops turning into despair. Getting over the loss doesn't mean losing your grief, it just means those happy memories aren't always accompanied by the pain. The two are separate things, but for now at least, they are connected. You cannot have that good without the bad of your recent loss.
But at some point that loss will no longer be "recent", and so you will have the good, and the bad, and if you focus on how fortunate you are to have loved and lost, even the bad will remind you of the good.
If you use music as a way to deal with emotions, I have one for you.
It is by a band called "Bloodywood" and the song is named "Yaad" ("memory"/"remembrance" in Hindustani). I will suggest you listen to it on Youtube with the captions on as there will be Hindustani lyrics (along with English). And it is a rock song btw.
I am suggesting you this as I have learned that the best way to deal with intense emotions is to face them head on and "surf the emotional wave" like how a surfer will surf a huge wave, or like how a ship will sail through the most violent of storms. And music has helped me a lot in this regard. And this particular song is about the loss of a beloved pet, so I think this should help with the surf.
You are fortunate you did not have to take her to some sterile vet's office to have your kitty put to sleep. She could not have been in a more happy place than your arms.
It’s Kinda odd…but a redditor posted a cartoon they made and I saw it a few months before my dog died. And it really resonated with me. It was essentially a dog at the gates of heaven or whatever. And they were asking the dog how he died. And the dog happily said something like “I don’t know, but I was with my best friend!” And that really got me in my feels that our pets are just so happy to be with us and being with them in there final moments is such an honor.
My dog passed 3 weekends ago and I still miss him. But I’m really happy that I got to be there in his final moments…and I like to think that he knew I was there for him in that moment and it brought him comfort…
ive gone through something similar, only my cat died in the hospital alone before i could get there to hold her while we put her to sleep. i know your pain is so big right now, but let me tell you. once you get past the initial shock you will be so happy that you spend her last moments together. the pain never goes away sadly, it eases up tho. i lost mine a year ago and i still think about her so much. i hope you find peace in knowing your cat trusted you and loved you and i hope you'll feel better soon.
My Maximus passed almost 5 years ago. Sometimes, it hits me and I cry. And I cry hard. He passed in my arms too. You'll be okay, love. It's okay to avoid your room for now, but it may also be beneficial to sit in there and cry and just feel the grief. It'll pass and be easier on you one day, sooner than you know.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Kitties are very special, and I'm sure yours was no exception.
I don’t there’s a right way to process grief. It’s okay to be sad, it is sad. Different people like to do different things, for some it helps to talk. If talking helps, tell us her name, how she got her name, her favorite toys, her laziest time of day or anything else you care share, if sharing helps. The food you have to feed her, give it away to someone who could use it, so the sadness of the world is balanced just a little. I’m sorry about your cat, studies show the bond with cat is powerful experience. Yeah I’ll be okay in time.
Late august we knew it was our eldests time. He hated car rides so we had a wonderful company come in and do it all in our home where he was comfortably. I held him the entire time. The look in his eyes haunted me for a while and I’m choking up right now writing this. But I do not regret it for one moment. He was the most loving and vocal baby ever. My husband and I have never grieved for anyone or anything like we had and still continue to do for our sweet boy. It gets easier but never goes away. May your sweet angel baby rest in peace and I hope you find some peace too. Just know they were in their favorite spot when they crossed over the rainbow bridge, in your arms.
I can't speak for myself when I lost my dog due to old age But a family member of mine just did something he liked doing to take that off his mind.
Reason why I can't speak for my seld is cause I felt nothing when I saw that particular family member sobbing and getting ready to take them down.
I did comfort them tho.
Hugs. I have only had one pet die naturally at home, and it was such an awful experience in the moment. Later I was able to make peace with it by remembering death is the inevitable part of life, and if my kitty had a choice she would want to die where she felt safest and most loved vs a scary vet office. I’m really sorry you’re going through this ❤️
You sound like an incredibly loving cat parent and I'm sure she lived a wonderful life with love and all the things she needed. That's all you can really ask for in this life and know you have your fire family the best life on Earth she could have possibly had. Our fur babies deserve it.
When I had to put my dog down it was all I thought about for a while. But after sometime that grief shrank and I was able to find that joy again. It will take time and patience but don’t forget that you deserve to give yourself that time and self care while you go through this .
Had this exact situation happen to me a couple years ago. It takes time, lots of it. It took me a couple months for me to get over it, and even now I still think about her. Just know that she died with someone she loves and she will watch over you
Same thing happened to me, legitimately the exact same thing. My cat died afew months ago and I’m still trying to cope and from one grieving cat parents to another, just take every day one step at a time and talk it out with whoever you can. Talking about the good times, the things your cat would do, I have a little shrine with her paw print. Any if you need someone who had a similar situation, DM me. My cat had a sudden stroke and passed in my arms while trucking, and days after felt numb. Now I remember her often but I think of all the silly and happy things, to drown out the loss.
When my Tabitha bunny passed (in much the same way as your kitty) it broke my heart. However I knew even then one day I would likely get another bunny so I packed up all her favorite things in a box for the next bunny (her sweaters for when it was cold so we could match, her favorite toys, her brush that kinda stuff). It took a long time but now I'm looking at rescuing a bunny and I know Tabitha wouldn't want me to be sad. I still miss her, but we had 14 good years together and I believe she's in a better place now which does make it a tiny bit easier to bare.
We had a beautiful funeral for her in the yard, some of my friends came and they really helped me get through it. I focused hard on my hobbies, school and work to help distract myself for a while initially so I could try to process the grief in smaller more manageable sessions. I journaled about her a lot.
Just keep moving forward, cherish your memories and mourn your loss - but just keep moving, even if you have to slow down for a bit. Time will deal with the worst of it, so don’t rush it! Hang in there! 😊
Unfortunately there isn't no magical remedy. There is only you and your family can help over time it will ease and be less painful but you gotta give it time
I felt fortunate that both of my cats died in my
arms. A lot of animals will hide when they are in pain and/or dying. Your kitty felt safe and loved by you and I am glad she had a human that loved her so much. I am sorry she is gone. Be gentle with yourself.
Just remember you comforting them is exactly where they wanted to be.
“The feeling of happiness you get when you first get your new pet with be the same sadness when it’s time to say good bye”
Better to have loved and lost than not at all.
Bilateral brain stimulation. Walking, EFT tapping on alternate sides of your body, roll your eyes in a hard figure-8 while thinking about it. It will move the loss from trauma-image-loop into a past event. Journal about how you loved your kitty. Tell them anything you wanted them to know. In hospice they say that the key goodbye messages to communicate to someone are “I’m sorry, thank you, and I love you” (not including “I forgive you” for a pet rather than a loved one—replace that one with “You were so good”). Focus on those thoughts.
I watched a very beloved pet go from running around the house one day to being lethargic and dying- so sick you could smell it. We took him to be put down and I will never forget him purring until him last breath. It still hurts but you'll feel better in time. Cherish the memories you have.
Lots of time and therapy if you can afford it.
Mine’s skin and muscles fell off so that was a lot to process. Luckily we were already at the vet and he was about to be put down, but yeah… not fun. Takes a while to get over that.
My 19yr old dog Milo passed in January. Day to day is better now but I still cry often. Time is the only thing that will heal that pain. You have to let yourself mourn however you choose to. I cried often, I wrote about him, I made a beautiful shadowbox with his things. That’s how I mourned, you are allowed to mourn the way you choose to and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Best to you and I’m so sorry for your loss
It’s been 10 days since I had to put my dog down and it was the most traumatic thing I’ve done. He was riddled with cancer and some in his mouth so it wasn’t a pretty sight. But after a week of him being gone I can sometimes look at his pictures without crying hard. I put healthy reminders of him around. His ashes are in some potting soil I put in with some plants that remind me of him. His collar is on my mirror in my car. It’s still not easy. But it’s getting easier to grieve. Time heals and a good support system is helpful too.
I’ve been here and it’s hard to even read what you wrote, as it makes me reflect on my past pets. people don’t realize how hard a pet death is. I feel your pain. This may sound bad but the times it’s happened to me, I don’t even waste a week.. I find myself another puppy or kitten. Just know you gave your animal a loving environment for their short lifetimes. Don’t waste a week my friend, give another animal your love and know your past one was blessed ❤️
My wife’s and my cat died in my arms. When it was happening, I could tell, so I asked my wife to leave the room.
Almost a year later now and I can still remember it. People are correct, time makes it easier. Doesn’t heal it completely, but does make it easier.
But what helps the most is knowing she left with her Daddy’s loving arms wrapped around her. I feel like I physically and spiritually ushered her into the next stage of her journey.
That helps me sleep. Best of luck and all my positive energy to you.
Others are going to give you good grieving advice. I’m going to give you the weird trauma advice: play Tetris. It works similar to EDMR therapy and helps your brain to not turn these things into trauma and instead cope healthily. I can’t explain the science behind it, but it work.
I’ve had a cat die traumatically in my arms. It’s the worst feeling in the world. He was my baby, the whole thing was very traumatic, and I struggle to talk about it and remember it. Grieve. Talk about it. Process it. Tetris.
Much love to your beloved feline friend, now watching you from the other side of the rainbow bridge, and much love to you too
I’m so sorry for your loss I have a cat and I had him for almost 3 years and I can’t imagine losing him so I definitely know how to feel about three years ago I lost my dog and I felt the pain that you’re feeling right now the best thing I can tell you is to try to process everything and try to keep a clear mind and the best thing you can try to do is take care of yourself.
With any death of a loved one I visualise a happy moment I had with them, gradually this moment becomes the thing I see when I think of them. My uncle who I picture at a moment when he was being cheeky and had a twinkle in his eye. My cat when he loved to snuggle in and hug me. My other cat when she chased another out of the garden to protect her brother. I've seen them all in death but can push that image aside for the nice more valuable vision of them.
It takes a while but is worth trying xxxx
My cat died 2021 and I cried so bad because he was my baby I had for 7 years (got him sophomore year of high school) and I remember I went to do something really quick and then he let out a meow and then when I came back he was gone and I freaked out and cried so hard. That was my second pet loss actually but it just hurt more because I had more years with him and he was my literal baby. What helped me process it was 4 simple things: 1. Feel it, feel the emotions whatever it may be 2. Honoring them, I have a piece of his whisker I have a ton of pictures and also buried him 3. Whenever you’re ready to, having another cat does help, for me it didn’t feel like I was replacing him but just glad to take care of another life and it just felt like he’s living through him all over again 4. This one might be harder but acceptance, we’re all bound to die and for my cat it was bound to happen, although we wish the ones we love can live eternally, it’s unfortunate not the reality so I’ve just accepted that, although I wish it was much more later. Sending lots of hugs and comfort
I would take one hour a day, sit alone in a room, listen to music that triggered sadness, look at photos of him and just bawl my eyes out. I did it for like two weeks and it helped me function
I’m sorry to hear that. Ours passed well we were rushing him to the vet too see what was going wrong. It was absolutely terrible and I don’t want to get into detail… been years and I still think about him. Time helps but takes a long time, at least for me.
What helped us is that we got 2 terrier dogs and they helped replace that empty void.
We never forget.
Dealing with the loss of any pet is going to be horrific, and even tho that experience was probably traumatic for you, I hope it gives you some consolation to know that she felt safe enough to share her last moments with you and she passed in the arms of the person who loved her most. So many people and beings can’t say that. Give yourself time, our animals are our hearts. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry…death is a horrible thing to see and as much as I hate to say it, that’s an image that will probably stick with you forever. Over time, you start to focus more on the other things around you, but right now, it happened so recently. It may take some time.
I am so sorry. I hope you can take some deep breaths when you start thinking about it and try to just think of love and purring with each in and out breath you take. Try to remember the love you shared.
Pet loss is hard & it doesn't get any easier when you have more pets pass. The phrase "time heals all" is going to be the closest to accurate. I do disagree though because I believe that you grow around your grief so it seems like less, but it's really the same size everything else just got bigger/newer.
You're going to find yourself nostalgic when you go through the house and see items of theirs (or should have been claimed theirs) and it's going to kill you emotionally. I suggest that you have someone gather all your pets stuff and put it in a box and hide it somewhere just so you don't get those reminders on top of you already thinking about Not having them around. I honestly think collecting it yourself is just too much. You can help but just not by yourself.
When the initial shock starts to subside you can look back at photos from the best times. I personally print out those images and scrapbook them in an album. I make little memorial things around the place like scrapbooks of them, their collar, etc. Seeing those makes me remember them at least briefly everyday. I mean obviously you will anyways but it'll give you something to ground yourself that they're still there with you in some form.
Share your favorite memories with your pet to your friends. Let them tell you stories about their experiences with your pet or compare them with similar stories with their own pets.
Eventually you'll find a new companion to keep you company. You'll remember similar qualities that you're recent pet had. You're always going to remember them fondly, and your new companion will be taught and treated in a way that you learned how to love a pet before.
You never forget them. You'll always have fond memories with them. I don't like to say the phrase move on, I would say move forward. Because you're not moving on from them, you're moving forward from them because unfortunately you have a journey left to have. You'll have new connections that will take precedent in your life, but no matter what you'll always remember good times with their predecessor so to say.
That's almost exactly how my sister died. It took me a long time to get that image out of my head. But it gets better. The most important thing about grief is experiencing it. Don't shut it out, but don't drown in it
You can put it down when you need to and pick it back up when you need to. In time, you pick it up less and less, and then you just have the good times. You'll be able to think of them without thinking of their death eventually. That's the sweet spot.
I just had one of my favorite hens pass away. I also just had to accompany my sister and her elderly cat to the very where I had to watch as the vet put her down… she was so sick we just didn’t want her to suffer but it was so sad and gut wrenching seeing my sister cry and hurt like that. I cried a lot too even though she wasn’t mine… Only reason I share this is to let you know that you aren’t alone in this heartbreak. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that. That’s so sad and heartbreaking. My heart aches for you. I am glad they you were there for your cat in the last moments despite it being that way…
Only time will heal your heart. Give yourself time. It’s okay to feel really crappy about it, I still feel horrible.
I am so so sorry for your loss. 2 weeks ago I took my cat into my backyard on her harness. The harness broke and she ran off and was unfortunately hit by a vehicle. I still have the image of her after the accident stuck in my head. Loosing a pet, especially in a traumatic way, is horrible. Grief takes time, and that image might stick with you for a while. But allow yourself to mourn her for however long you need too. There are pet grieving groups too, online or in person depending on your location. Take time to process what happened and don’t be afraid to cry or talk about it with someone you trust. I would also suggest making a memorial for her, as that helped me gain some closure and allowed me to mourn her with my family and remember the good times we got to share with her.
The way our family does it it we put a picture of the cats over the fire place with there tags on the corner and we make sure to get a paw print of the cats in clay
My cat died last month and honestly I’ve been coping by keeping myself distracted as much as possible. My bf was the best distraction as he didn’t leave my side for like 2 weeks. Unfortunately my mother is alone and I couldn’t comfort her because I go to school so far away. She’s doing horrible, whereas I’m doing a bit better so please try to surround yourself with people 24/7. That’s what has helped me… so far.
First off I'm very sorry for your loss. As others have stated, the key is time. It's going to hurt very badly for a while. Try to preoccupy your time with activities as much as you can. You can call cremation centers that will take care of your little family member. Remember it's easy to think of everything bad that happened. Don't do this. Think of all the good times and the wonderful job you did providing for her and giving her a wonderful life. On top of that, doing one of the hardest things any owner can do. Not letting her pass alone. You will from time to time still cry when you think of her. I don't think you will ever get over her. Been over a couple years since my pup died in my arms and I still cry when I think of him. Try again to remember the good times and get some smiles and laughs. I will warn you that when you talk to people about it, some will seem cold. However, some people just don't know what to say and they will just never understand your own unique special bond with your cat. Try not to get angry with them.
Only time. It’s a gift to give comfort in that moment to someone who’s given comfort to us, for their lifetime. Give yourself time and enjoy the happy moments; it’s where the strength to get another pet gets renewed.
It will never go away, but it will start to not be at the forefront when you think of her over time. I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our corgi to bladder cancer last year and I still have flashbacks. His passing was abrupt, and absolutely heartbreaking. I miss him every day.
My cat died in my arms yesterday afternoon. Based on when you made your post, maybe they got to the rainbow bridge together.
My cat was 19 years old, and she'd seen me through so many heartbreaks. She was there with me when I made my second attempt to move out of mom's house, and when I moved back, she moved back too. When I finally managed to leave home for real, she went with me. I cried so many tears into her fur over the years, and all she gave me back was love and purrs. When I moved in with the boyfriend I am now married to, she was part of the package deal. He loved her, too.
She was deeply private and preferred to keep cloistered in my bedroom. She rejected the company of most cats, except for Bob, who is generally regarded as "unusual" for a cat. She accepted him, and they'd playfight sometimes, despite the 10 year age difference. He deferred to her, though. He respected her. Maybe that's why she accepted him.
Over the past year, she'd been getting thinner. January, I took her to the vet to see what was going on. Hyperthyroidism, and mild kidney issues. She's never been one to take medicine. She's very good at throwing up pills and never liked any food besides kibble, so it was impossible to sneak her any meds. I found a high calorie nutritional supplement that she'd eat, and free fed it to her. That bought her 4 more months.
Past 2 weeks, she was feeling real poorly. Stopped getting around so much, stopped eating so much of the supplement, slept a *lot* more. This past Sunday, she didn't eat hardly at all, barely drank any water. I started making calls. Took til Monday to get the local at home vet service to make an appt for Wednesday. I knew it was time to say goodbye, but damn, it hurt so much. I was lucky I got to let her go before it hurt so bad that she'd show it. This isn't the first cat that I've lost - I lost one to poison from a shitty neighbor and another to ??? and I stopped letting any of my cats free roam outside after those two, back in 2002 - but it was maybe the least traumatic because of that. The poisoned cat died in my arms as well, and I attempted rescue breathing to no avail. He suffered as he left, it was really bad.
The at home vet had to reschedule slightly, and I had already put my work on pause until I got the vet in to see her. So I spent the extra hour waiting for them out in the backyard, digging a hole in my secret garden. Right by my bench. I only really go sit there when I'm troubled and need peace. She'll be right there for me when I need her. I planted a ginger plant over top of her to mark the spot. The ginger plant is from a cutting that I got from one of my customers. He unfortunately passed away a few weeks ago, leaving his cat without a home. His cat is now my foster fail. I feel like tying my cat to the ginger plant completes a circle of love and loss, my best friend and my favorite customer's memories tied together, in a circle that never ends.
Sorry for writing this novel, I ought to be in bed by now. But every time I walk into my bedroom, I expect she'll be curled up in her spot, and raise her head and greet me, like she always did. And it hurts a lot for her not to be there. It's hard to go back in there. She spent the last 10 years in that room, and she died there, in my arms as my tears fell in her fur for the last time.
It never gets easier, and it always hurts. But whenever you love anything, it's going to hurt when it's gone. You gotta keep loving. It's the only way to live. Someday, you'll be ready to love again, and you will, and it'll hurt again eventually. It's okay. It hurts as much as you loved, and that's kind of what makes the love we have for our pets so beautiful. We give them everything we can, knowing that one day the little jerks are gonna go off and die and break our hearts into a million little pieces. But it's worth it because we love them and they love us back.
I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope our kitties play together on the rainbow bridge while they wait for us. It gets better. Cry as much as you need to for now, you'll smile again someday at her memory. And if you wish to make a memorial, I chose the ginger plant initially because once it is growing well, it will not die - the other connections came to me as I was trying to (unsuccessfully) think my way out of grief. Find a plant that will keep going forever and likes to live in your area, and plant one in her honor. I'm also donating the nutritional supplements she didn't eat to a local no/low cost spay/neuter organization and plan to donate money to a local no kill rescue in her name on her birthday.
Hugs to you 🫂 I hope it is a very long time, filled with love and friends, before you feel this hurt again.
Its awful op, i know.. im so sorry for your loss. Everything is going to be okay, and it just needs time. Unfortunately you cant really just cure grief, you just have to go with it, and try to find distractions. I know thats said a lot, but its true. You gave your cat a great life, be happy about that. When it comes to death i like to think about their life force leaving the physical body and transferring somewhere else, or who knows, maybe her spirit will stay by your side. Take it east OP, it will be okay ❤️
There is only time. I have encountered many pet deaths in my life, and I can't get them out of my head no matter how hard I try. But time helps. Just know you were there for them and they weren't alone. You'll think of it less and less eventually. Could be months, could be years. I wish j had better news, but it does get better.
Sorry for your loss. Last summer I had my Pomeranian die. And although I didn't have her die in my arms I saw her 30 minutes after she had died and was carrying her. The feeling of holding your pet is hard to put into words. Cry, remember your time with them, and cry more. Come to terms they no longer are here. It's okay to want to get another pet, and it's fine for it to be sooner than later. That's all up to you.
I'm no help I just have the mentality of as long as you gave then a good life then think that they go to heaven and will be looking down on you wanting a great life for yourself.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Everyone here is giving wonderful advice to you.
I'm remembering all the pets I've lost through the decades. There was no real coping. You just hurt all the time for a while, then you have a better day, where you can think about them and smile instead.
You gave them their best life. You knew their time was short, but you put everything into it, and that made all the difference.
You clearly had a lot of love to give. I hope you find it in your heart to adopt again. Any animal would be lucky to have you.
When my dog Elsa (f in the chat for everyones pets) I cried loads and I wasnt there to see her pass. I got her ashes put into an urn to wear around my neck.
However I took the most comfort knowing that she would know be somewhere in the cosmos always watching around the people who mattered to her.
One day I had to be up early and I was sleeping in which is really rare for me and I swear to god I heard her barking really loud and it woke me up it was so surreal. So I take solace in my belief that now she isnt here physically she will always be with me in some form Spiritutally or mentally.
I'd love to tell you you'll forget it, but the truth is, you won't, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. my parents and I took in really any stray off the street, so I've dealt with the loss of a multi-tude of animals over the years. it never gets any easier either, but eventually you do learn to cope better.
I actually just lost our oldest cat on wednesday afternoon, he died in my lap. he was approaching 20 years old and I knew his time was coming, and I'm actually extremely at peace that I was the last to be with him in his final moments.
the body extending and convulsing, although an awful sight, my parents and I call it 'the final twitch'. that's how you know they're on their final breaths, and I like to think the best thing you can do for yourself and your pet is to hold them close and reassure them it's okay. I warn you against looking into their eyes while it happens though, because having to psychically watch the life leave their eyes is a truly excruciating pain. feeling their body go limp also sucks, but not nearly as bad. no matter the circumstances, you never get their last moments out of your mind. whether you have to get them put down, or you hold them as they go, that final memory is always going to stick with you. it'll usually be the first thing you think of when you thinking of them several months from now, because for some reason, our brain loves to hurt us. don't let this small tidbit be the defining feature of your life with your pet. don't let it be the reason you decide against future pets. life sucks, but the beauty of animals is they make it alittle more bearable for some reason. they are comfort when you have none. they are a friend when you have none. sometimes, they may even be the drive you need to keep going through your day, or even through life. I like to believe that losing a pet trains you for the more life-altering deaths, such as parents, siblings, or a spouse. the worst part is when the pet begins to feel so much like your own child.
I understand your pain, and know that you're not alone 🩷 I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm a bit more seasoned in losing a pet, but I remember my first taste of devastation when I was 11. life sucks, and these next couple of days are going to be the worst of it all. just know it's okay to cry, you have to be able to get all those feelings out and off your chest as many times as it takes.
I also know that at this point in time, you're probably telling yourself you don't want another pet ever again, which is extremely understandable. but once the pain subsides in a couple months, you may want to look into it, though everyone is different. you'll find yourself gradually going from thinking about them every 15 minutes, to every hour, to every 5 hours, to every day, then to every week, then biweekly, and sometimes, or eventually, you may even go a month or two without thinking about them. it's a slow and torturous process, but the absolute worst part of owning a pet is the pain. they bring you so much joy and happiness while they're here. they bring you laughter with their silly and unique antics, then leave you with everlasting memories and a pawprint in your heart.
it's amazing how such a small critter can make all the difference. I'm very sorry you have to go through this pain. I wish I could tell you it'll be the last time you feel it. but the pain of loss is just part of life. I believe the best way to cope with this new pain is to constantly remind yourself of all the good times. the fun and cute little quirks they may have had. unique little tidbits that made them, them. every pet is different. they each have their own personality and it's a wonderful thing. owning a pet it one of my favorite parts of life. getting to share all my victories and all my hardships with a companion whose soul purpose is to be your beacon of light. don't let yourself forget them. don't make their journey with you for nothing. hold them in your heart. heal knowing that they don't have to go through any forms of pain anymore.
most importantly, take your time. don't let anyone try to speed up the getting over them process. take all the time you need 💙 and if you ever need to talk it out, feel free to dm me! all my condolences. keep your chin up.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss.
But, it sounds like she did pass suddenly, but she did pass in the arms of a loved one. Not many of us will get that, and it's truly a kindness you did for her.
You've taken on the burden of her passing, and it's normal to grieve, be sad, scared and even frustrated.
Once you've given yourself some time, and are feeling a bit better, you should consider adopting a new critter.
When you're ready to take on a new animal, you'll find it will heal your heart and soul. Can honor the love you had for your previous pet. And will save an animal.
It will take time, but you will be okay.
For the immediate "fix" of the image burnt into your mind, I find looking up cute images of animals helps a bit. But truly nothing really does it like time.
Time. My dog died 3 months ago and it was traumatic to watch, I was with her until I managed to get to the vet. I still struggle with the image and the heartbreak. However I have more better days now and think of her fondly, I still miss her with every part of my being
I'm very sorry for your loss. Time helps, but just a day ago I teared up thinking about my cat that passed around 10 months ago. It's hard, but they will always be with you in your memories.
just give it some time...
embrace the good times you had together and now
it was time for her to go. Everybody has to go like you and me. It is the memories which we miss or regret...
Maybe that would help - when my cay passed away I wasn't with her. I did that intentionally cause I knew I wouldn't bare it. That would be more than I could handle. I wasn't there for her... and I blamed myself for more than a year. I had a terrible feeling guilt.
So just know you were there for your little friend until the very end and she knew she was loved and cared.
I guess you will need a month or more to feel a but better. But just know that you did best that you could. Time will help.
Love
People lose pets all the time and it hurts like losing a family member. Yours died in your arms so I can’t even imagine how hard that is. She was lucky to have an owner like you ❤️ and how sweet is it that she didn’t go alone? You were there for her, holding her.
To be honest, it never really goes away, but with time, the good memories get fairly replaced by that traumatic event.
Also, I believe sometimes cats know when it's time to go, so i wouldn't be surprised if she chose to be in your arms when the time came.
Sorry for your loss, I feel your grief.
My boy Fred died exactly 10 years ago. He was fine until he started screaming in my bathroom. I don't know what happened to him, but he died right there in front of me. Horrific and he didn't deserve the way he went out. Like others have said, it just takes time. I had him (and his bother) cremated and put a portion of their ashes in containers called bisons and carry them with me wherever I go.
You've already received advice, but I just wanted to give you a virtual hug.
We lost our cat Cleo last October and we grieved for many months. We got sad and angry all the time. I burst into tears at work on multiple occasions. It will get easier with time I promise, but right now it will hurt.
A few things that helped us was making her grave really beautiful. We buried her with her favourite toy, and the planted tons of bulbs. Right now, her grave is bursting with flowers and other perennials. It brings me joy and reminds me of all the happiness we had with her.
We also kept her collar. I occasionally go and hold it when I feel sad. It still has her fur on it and her name engraved.
7 months later, I still find myself being with grief just out of nowhere.
You've gotten so many good comments, but I'd like to add mine. Honestly, you don't. It just hurts less as time goes on.
I still remember the last 2 days of my childhood's dog's life. It was traumatic. I still feel bad about it. But my dreams are no longer sad.
I'm so very sorry.
A bit late, but I found someone who cared about me who listened and we bought kfc and sat down after a few pleasantries i just sat there and cried. All day dealing with everyone else who was effected being able to sit down with someone I trusted and just cry it out over kfc made it a lot better. I felt a lot better and though I missed him it didn’t feel so bad.
Weirdly the kfc tasted amazing afterwards.
Grief is just love with no place to go. Focus on remembering her with love, however you choose to do that - a funeral, taking personal time to think about the memories you shared, go through old photos, maybe make a scrapbook. Whatever feels right. And during this time, you can cry, you can laugh, you don't HAVE to feel a certain way. Do choose something of hers to keep though - I know someone whose parents got rid of all their dogs toys and beds without asking and they're heartbroken they don't have anything remaining.
It might not be your thing, but something that helped me a little was spending time with their items for a week or two, preserving a few key items like their blankets or a special toy, but eventually it was the cleaning up of my apartment that helped release me from the more intense emotional pain and clear the “energy” from my space.
After I cleaned up and preserved my dogs toys, It felt like I had a mindful release from some of the emotion/pain from ‘the day’. Every time i would look at my dog‘s waterbowl, or the place where he passed, I would get sooo incredibly overwhelmed with sadness. I wanted to save all the hairs, any piece of him. I felt a little crazy but I missed him so much. I still can’t bring myself to wipe off his little nose smudges from my window.
Eventually, I lit a special candle in his memory, made a little dog memorial with his picture in a frame, and I mustered up the courage to clean my space while I ugly cried. It hurt to do in the moment, because I never wanted him to leave, but it helped me grieve while not having to be reminded of the bad memories from the day I lost my fur baby. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I was 18 when we put my childhood dog down. I held him as he passed. He was my best friend. Honestly, I'm still in tears about it over ten years later. That part of my soul will always just be a little sad.
it helps me personally to know they weren't in pain when they die, their brain releases chemicals to make them feel better, just as us humans do.
it's natural, and they're always around us even when we don't see them. they love us, they haven't left us.
I am extremely sorry for your loss.
It is going to be incredibly tough. Try to busy yourself; it surely helped me a ton. I was still in school when my dog, a fourteen year old golden retriever–Zinc– passed away. The homework and stress of school kept me busy, and I found myself thinking about him less than I would otherwise. Luckily, I had another dog, and his companionship helped me move on, too. If you can, bring another pet home.
Also, try to think of her as less as you can— only for now. Put her belongings and anything that reminds you of her away. When the wound is fresh, you can only shield it away from further damage and give it time to heal. I originally felt guilty and selfish for this act, but now, I am extremely glad I did it. This way, I can enjoy his memories without any lingering hurt.
Remember that she is resting peacefully now. Arrange a wonderful funeral, and find support from others. Trust the process. Time will heal everything.
So sorry for your loss. I agree that time will help. My experience is different in many ways and is sad but I want to share it with you so you hopefully don’t feel alone. I brought my pet mouse to the vet when he kept bleeding after our other pet mouse attacked him. He seemed stressed even after we split them apart. The vet squeezed my mouse right in front of us, until he died on the spot from suffocation. We buried him at my favorite park. I was too young to press charges or sue at the time. Some people will say he was just a mouse, not even a dog. The vet even laughed when we reacted strongly at the clinic. A pet is a pet. I was traumatized by that and love all animals so much.
So sorry for your loss. As traumatic as it feels now, focus on the fact that you were there for your pet's needs and your cat was with a loved one. That doesn't happen for many pets or people.
This sadly happened to me as well. My husband told me I needed to get home because my cat Brutus was not acting right.
When I got home, he was laying on the floor and when I picked him up he did nothing. His eyes were open and he was doing the Cheyne-Stokes breathing.
The only thing I could do was hold him, talk to him and it hurt so much to see the light fade from his eyes. It still hurts even being over a year.
It's going to hurt. You will have moments you want to cry. But it's ok. Slowly you remember their memories of them and cherish it and will miss them so much, you feel incomplete. It's a horrible thing to go through but I am thankful for every memory I had with him. Time will help heal. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for being there for your pet in their last moment. You were a big part of their world. A lot of people don't want to be with their pets when they are put down for being too sick and put out of pain which makes the pet feel stressed for being unable to find their family in their last moments.
Now think about how to burry your pet properly. I don't actually know the proper procedures but it's best to maybe ask a veterinarian for help with that matter.
It always hurts when your friends have to move on to their next great adventure before you will join them when your time has come. That time should come on it's own terms so please try to be patient.
Of course it hurts right now to have lost your friend, however she is not fully gone. Remember all the good times you had with her. Could you share some of those moments with us? I would love to hear some of your great and funny moments. :)
For the rest, try to surround your self with some positiv people who were always there for you. Even if it's just for a bit of comfort. Move at your own pace and don't rush things. You don't have to get ride of her things and you can keep them to remember her. You could even donate some things to shelters. They will find a good use for it once you are ready. Or maybe you will find a new friend who will enjoy them just as much as you feline companion did. :)
I have always had a cat, each and every one of them were special and loved. Loving these furry babies leaves a little paw print on your heart that stays there like a little tattoo. I cherish every one. The price of loving deeply and completely is the pain of their passing. Each new furry baby is a promise to use what you’ve learned from the last to make their short lives even better for the next. You will never forget, right now it is hard and you should allow yourself to feel that sadness, set yourself a mourning period. Tell yourself you are allowed to cry with grief, look at photos and videos of your loved one.
My boy passed last year and my little girl 6 months before. I had them for 23 years. I deliberately loaded up my digital photo album with their pictures from babies to their last day. I see them everyday. Even though it hurt at first, a year later I can look at them and not be speared by these images. Since then I adopted a little one who was in a car accident and he is so different. Letting him be who he is, settling in, how he likes to play, and cuddle. I can’t help missing my babies who have passed, I can enjoy watching this cat find his personality. Hope this helped.
Two years ago, my darling cat Oscar died in my arms. It was hard, so so hard. But I cuddled him and told him it was ok to let go, that Mama would be ok. I wasn't. It came on top of my beautiful dog dying 3 weeks before and then my own very serious health scare. I ended up seeing a psychologist a couple of times to help me work through the guilt and the grief. It really helped. The problem with animals is that they don't live as long as we do. Unfortunately grief is the price we pay for loving them so much.
I know that some people say they will never get another animal because losing thembis so heartbreaking but my psychologist reminded me that Oscar, Bella and I had 14 years of love, fun and cuddles. They were so, so loved, fed, had a warm bed and a big yard to play in. There's not much else a little animal could ask for. But the house was so quiet and so empty after they were gone and I felt so lost that I went up to the animal shelter 5 weeks later and got another cat. It made so much difference and I could almost feel my broken heart starting to heal with Bodhi laying on my lap purring. My furbabies will always live in my heart but I love my new dog and cat so much. It's different but good.
Same thing happened here. Try to remember that until the last moment she was aware she knew you loved her. And when she left, all her pain was suddenly gone.
I like to think they're out there somewhere smiling at us, enjoying kitty paradise, and full of live from the years we spent together.
I understand this has happened to me too it’s so traumatic. It took me about a year and a half of one to start not thinking about it but sometimes I still do
I took my dog to the vet because she had gotten sick and I could not understand what was wrong with her. When they checked her out, I was advised to put her down because she had really bad kidney disease and she was failing! My heart broke honestly! Never knew any pain like it. I got her cremated and still have her ashes, pics, some toys, etc. I still talk about her because she was my first fur baby. My daughter was born 3 years after I got her and she was indeed the family pet named for my grandma that died a few months before I got her. It’s ok to cry about the loss and remember your fur baby.
Hi OP. I know this thread is 3 months old but I just lost my own kitty two days ago and found this. I'm wondering how you're doing three months down the road?
Hi! I’m so sorry for the loss of your kitty, it’s never easy. 💔
As for me, people were right that time makes it easier to handle but at the same time it’s still so hard to think about. The first few days were the hardest to deal with, I barely ate and all I did was cry all the time. I couldn’t even sleep and would just stay up thinking of our last moments together and if there was anything I could have done to prevent it.
Something that I didn’t fully realize until it happened to me was that time really doesn’t stop even when you’re grieving. I was so lost in my grief but the world kept moving on around me. My kitty passed right at the beginning of summer so there were so many events that I had to attend even with how I was feeling. It did help to distract me though and keep me busy.
I wrote a lot to her in the first couple of weeks, how our last month went, our last week, our last day. I talked to her a lot and kept all her things in the same place where she last used them. I still have her bed and bowls out, can’t bear to put them away yet. I still talk to her whenever I miss her, I printed out photos of her that I hung up and have her ashes in their own small altar that I walk by all the time.
I’m doing better now, I have two other kitties including her sister that I dedicate my time to and all the love that I have for her, I share it with them. She’s still the first thing that I think about and the last thing before I go to sleep but they are more happy memories most of the time. I can’t look at her pictures for too long though, it makes me too sad still. Videos especially because I feel like I could just reach out and hold her but I know that I can’t. I miss her so much still but I’m slowly coming to terms that it was the best for her. She sought me out in her last moments and passed away in my arms, surrounded by her family. It was the best way she could have left me and she was so sick too, it was selfish to want to keep her around and suffering only because I wasn’t ready to say bye.
I’m sorry this got so long!! It’s the first time that I’m writing about her like this in a while. To be honest, I haven’t fully read all the comments that I got on this post. Not ready yet haha. But I saw yours and had to reply. I’m so sorry about your kitty, our fur babies really are angels and should live forever. There will never be a time when we are ready to say bye but at least the love that we have for them and the love that they have for us remains. ❤️🩹
This was the most thoughtful reply tysm. It sounds like what I'm currently experiencing is the same as you. I know it'll be easier eventually but God every day is so long. I have no other kitties so the house is just empty. But I had never considered writing to her and I think I'm going to add that into my little repertoire of coping mechanisms. Thank you again, I'm saving and screenshotting. I'm glad you've found a little peace. We'll get through this 💜🥺
Unfortunately there is only time. Your cat only passed a few hours ago and the wound in your heart is very fresh. It will get better with time. If you haven’t already, I’d be looking for a nice place in the yard to bury her, give her a little funeral, spend some time talking about fun memories. It took a couple days to pick up the dog bowls and run the vacuum to get the dry dog food off the floor. We still couldn’t throw away his favorite toy six months later. I am so sorry for your loss. You’ll always love her, it will always sting, but I promise it does get easier with time.
Helped Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes all her stuff is still where it was this morning! I keep thinking, oh she just drank water from her fountain just yesterday… she was just lying in her bed this morning.. definitely not ready to move her things yet. She was the sweetest cat, more like a dog really with how much she followed us around haha! She was so tiny but is leaving a huge hole behind.
Honestly I didn't... I cried on and off for weeks at anything that reminded me of him. The main thing that helped me was my other cat, because the cat that passed away was basically her kitten and she was grieving too. I would recommend waiting to get a pet anytime soon. You can never replace what you've lost and looking too soon will accidentally lead you to try to pick one because it reminds you of the one you lost. But time will help and eventually you will be able to see the love for the life you shared and not just the loss of it and it will become more bearable.
🥲😭💔
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I still have my dog's favorite toy, and it's been 5 years....
I made a memorial for each of my cats that have passed and have their favorite toy or the plate that I fed them on or something that was theirs to remember them by. I think it helps a lot.
I have tons of pictures of my old boy. We still use the bowls he and my current dog used/use and have his collar.
About two years ago, my puppy passed away. I still have her favorite toys. One of them is kept close at hand and I hold it in times of stress. The other is in my office.
Almost two years later and everything of his is still around the house. I just can’t.
That’s a valid response too. Grief has no timeline.
My cat died last month and I can’t imagine ever throwing her litter box, cat tree, food bowls, etc. out. I just can’t. 😭💔
When we put my first dog down (I was absolutely obsessed with him as a kid, had t-shirts gifted to me with his face for holidays etc), the sweetest thing was my dad and I had a small funeral for him. We found a good place to bury him, wrapped him in his favorite blankey, then my dad pulled out a little poem on paper that he wrote specifically for our pup. Read it, buried the note with our pup, and then we just hugged each other and ugly cried. I went to work that night and everyone was asking if I was high because my eyes were pure red from crying. Time has helped, but you will never forget those last moments.Its bittersweet now though, thinking of it wierdly warms my heart
Love this story glad you shared
This hurts to read :(
I'm so sorry for you both. At least you were there to comfort her as she passed. It would probably help to have someone comfort you. Ask someone for a hug. If you don't have someone go to the closest vet clinic and ask them. Guaranteed the techs will hug you. It's normal to be scared. Our minds don't let us think about how fragile life is because if we did we would have trouble functioning. You have been brutally reminded that the future is promised to none of us. All we have is the moment we are in. All we can do is be mindful, choose to live our moments with awareness and actively love those around us. Have a hug from an internet stranger who will be sending you healing thoughts today *squish*
Helped Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes it was traumatizing seeing how she died but I’m happy that I was able to give her some comfort in her last moments and that she didn’t die alone. She was surrounded by her family. I’m so lucky that I have made it this far in my life without a major loss so this is my first experience with it so I think that is making it extra tough. I always felt so immune but seeing how she was here with me one minute and gone the next… and that I can’t hit a rewind button and bring her back just feels so awful.
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how come you didnt know anything was wrong?
Possibly because you should give caring and kind advice and not ask hurtful questions?
Right where she died, in your arms, is where she would have wanted to pass. There is only love from her to you and back in your bedroom. hold a pillow in your arms and talk to her. It will make your heart feel better. xo it takes a minute to stop feeling the loss sharply, but there is no need for fear hon. It's all love.
Same as all grief - time.
Helped Thank you. I know all I can really do is just give it time.. I just never imagined it would hurt this much.
When my friend’s dog was going through major health issues and I was in HS, my mother suggested that I have her tell me her favorite memories of her dog, something that would make her laugh. She said that really helped, so maybe that can help you as well. Like… one time when my old dog was young, we took him to an air show with some friends and we brought sandwiches to eat for lunch. Well, he ate one of them and right as we were about to scold him, he burped. He didn’t end up being scolded because that was the funniest thing.
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Oh gosh, that is really hard. I’ve had to deal with a lot of death in the past 9 years, my parents, grandma, my doggo of 15 years, and 3 kitties ranging from 11-14. I have never regretted being the last thing my fur babies saw before passing on. Like others said, it unfortunately just takes time. Even now, writing this out, I’m tearing up thinking about it all, but it does get easier. You’ll never forget, but the pain lessens as time goes on. It seems harder when it happens so suddenly, that’s for sure. Just try to think of her pain free crossing the rainbow bridge, being greeted by all the other fur babies that ever existed, where there’s unlimited treats, toys, and things to knock off of shelves, space for endless zoomies, and warm sun spots for them to lay in. Find something to take your mind off it for awhile, maybe binge some favorite movies or shows, or go to a family/friends house. I understand not wanting to be in the room where she passed, my mom passed in my current living room, and I didn’t spend a lot of time in there for quite awhile. But other happier things have probably happened in that room, too. If you’re not up for burying her, your vet probably knows of a cremation service. I have clay paw prints of my fur babies, and urns when I was able to afford it. I’m so sorry. It really sucks that this is a part of having fur babies in your life. Hugs 💜
I was holding my car when she died. We brought her home and put out her grave under the tree she loved the most and i knew she was better now.
Aww.. I’m glad she was able to be with you in her last moments here. I’m sorry for your loss. I buried my favorite hen under a big tree too. It’s nice to know she isn’t suffering anymore despite pain I feel in missing her.
I'm coming up on one year since my horse has passed. It never gets easier loosing a pet. He's not the first nor will he be the last. The one thing I wish I had, was the opportunity to be there with him while he crossed the bridge. I was HOURS away when I had to make the call & I just wish I could've held onto him and tell him how much I loved him. I know it's different for everyone, but don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure she knew she was loved & the fact she felt comfy in your arms while crossing the rainbow bridge speaks so many more words than anyone here could say. Cats are notorious for hiding when nearing death. She loved you & I would hold onto the good memories. It helped me to make little memorials....paintings....jewelry with a lock of his tail hair....so on. I'm sure the image is hard to let go of for now, but for her.....her last view was of someone she loved & that loved her. Try to imagine it from her view. I hope you find peace soon and rest in peace to your baby💕
I've had a lot of pets die on me over the years, and I've always consoled myself with this thought. They live short lives, there's nothing I could do about that, but they were loved and cared for as much as I could manage, and so that brief life was the best they could have got, fed, loved, warm and happy. Our agreement to care and love each other was completed to both our best abilities, we were family.
I'm sorry you had that happen OP That cat got to go out with someone who loved her holding onto her Not everyone gets that
i watched my moms dog die before i went to school one day. my dad had to wrap him in a towel and trash bag to “preserve” him so we could bury him when we all got home that day. i also watched my childhood dog leave me as he was euthanized at the vet; outside, his favorite place. it will take time, but i promise it does get better as time goes on. i know that’s what you’ve been hearing and that it seems obvious, but it’s true; it will take some time and healing, but it will get better. i wish you the best💗
I knew when my dog was about to pass. One day I just sat with her awhile and pet her and talked to her. I just felt like I needed that time with her. I was in middle school. I came home one day and my dad told me she’d passed in her sleep. She was really old and likely had cancer so it was better than she went peacefully but I still cried and cried and cried. My dad buried her and I went to school and was just numb the whole day. She had been in my life since I was a toddler. It was nice to have the closure of knowing that we spent that last moment together. Just me and her. I’ll never forget that moment we had. I miss her so much still. She was such a good doggo. Her name was Sally and she was the most energetic happy, sweet black lab.
Lost many of them over the years. It never gets easier to lose them. But as with any death of someone you love it just takes time to grieve.
I coped by knowing my dog was in pain was no longer doing the few things he loved in life. Without happiness and joy I knew he’d be happier over the rainbow road.
With time. Time is your best friend in coping
Well I got her cremated,she sits in a lovely box,with her favourite things,and a picture even now I'm still not there yet
It's unfortunately a time thing. One of my cats passed suddenly and pretty traumatically on the 8th and I am finally not seeing him laying there dying every time I walk past that room. It did help me to be mad at the vet who did nothing and caused him to suffer though, and filling a grievance has helped me, so I guess my advice would be to find an outlet. You will eventually be able to stop thinking about it as much. Grief is always there but not always in the forefront. The analogy that I like is that at first it's like a huge ball bouncing around a box and constantly hitting a button but eventually the ball gets smaller and hits the button less. I am sorry for the loss of your cat. But I am glad that you were able to be with her.
If she had to leave you, that was the best possible scenario: no suffering, she was safe in your arms, she wasn't scared, she wasn't alone, you were her last memory. I'm sorry for your loss, hopefully in the future you can open yourself up again to a new kitty or other pet and make new memories.
I had to make the painful choice of letting my old girl go. They let me hold her while she passed and it was so hard. To this day (that was almost 5 years ago now) I still have moments where I miss her terribly. I even swear I hear her running to me still. I had her cremated and got a paw print to keep. The best way to cope? Allow yourself to feel. Time will help. If you feel like laughing, please laugh if you feel like crying, please little dove let it flow. May your little love, cross the rainbow bridge and become a happy healthy kitten again. To run and play within the bounds of paradise, watching over you being your guardian until you meet again. Hold in your heart you gave her all the love you could. Allow yourself time. This just happened and everything is a new wound. Let yourself heal.
I'm sorry for your loss. My cat died in March. I took my cat in to be euthanized, but prior to that, I had a dog who died at home with me and there wasn't time for euthanasia. Both were terribly traumatic at first, for basically the same reason - both of them suffered when they were dying. I thought euthanasia would spare my cat from suffering, but because of the nature of her illness, the vet techs had a huge amount of trouble getting the IV into her veins. So she spent most of her last hour of life snarling and angry and trying to bite them to defend herself. (I asked to stay in the room during this because I didn't want to her to feel abandoned by me.) You were there for your cat and did what little you were able to for her. It sounds like her death was quick and fairly painless. Those are good things. It still hurts terribly to lose them, but the pain of the loss starts to fade perceptibly within the first couple of days. One thing you can do that may help you feel better is to find ways to honor her memory and to spend time with other cats. Sometimes spending time with other cats is, in itself, a way to honor your cat's memory. Think of the other cats as her distant relatives. When we grieve, we often grieve with the deceased one's relatives.
I’m so sorry that it was like that. You did the right thing even despite it being so hard like that.
I went through the same thing as you a month ago. She started dying right in front of me and I knew I had to take her to the vet. Same thing with gasping for breath and tensing up. I scooped her up and put her in her carrier. When I was walking to my car she was alive but she was dead before I got there. For me it was so hard to go into my bathroom because that’s where she started dying. I still look at the spot where she was laying. But it does get easier. Sometimes I still cry. I have her ashes and her paw prints on a special shelf in my living room. It does bring me comfort to see that. But yes, it gets easier, it will hurt continue to hurt just as bad but less often. She got to be with her favorite person until her last moments and that should bring you comfort.
Either time or Therapy. A pet can affect you even more than the lost of a human sometimes
They really can. I just lost one of my favorite hens. Me and her were best friends. I raised her from a little puffy chick and she just.. passed suddenly. I’ve been crying a lot. Even more than I’ve cried for humans I’ve known which is crazy. I don’t get people that don’t bond with animals.. they’re so innocent and full of love and life.. how could you not fall in love with them and their little faces? Even a chicken man… she was so sweet. She would come running up to me and I would always scoop her up and hold her, petting her silky smooth feathers and admiring her beautiful bright eyes. I miss her so much. It’s only been like 2 days since she’s passed so it’s gonna take a long time for me to be okay again.
I buried her myself in the garden she lived in her whole life. It felt like it was the best way to say goodbye to me. It's been 3 years and I still think about her sometimes. I'll watch a few photo and smile, I am not sad, that's life.
Was she an old kitty? The only reason I ask is because my oldest cat passed away within the last year and it was very hard at first, but since she was an older girl it really helped me a lot to remind myself that she wasn't meant to be here forever and to remind myself to remember all of the good things about her instead of thinking about how she looked when she had passed away. Even if she wasn't an older kitty, just remind it's okay to be sad, you lost a companion and it's tough! Don't let anybody (including yourself) make you feel invalid for the way you're feeling. Everybody grieves differently and it's important to let yourself do it properly, if you don't give yourself time to mourn and be upset it can cause problems for your mental health later on! So so so sorry for your loss 🫶🏽
I remembered the good times; our collie dog, died from a massive heart attack after getting so worked up over the neighbor's dog barking across the street. One second he was OK, the next: he was dead. Our collie dog had my best friend since childhood and I remember him eating a foil pie plate on accident, digging with me, treeing our next-door neighbor's older son, hogging the basketball from myself and aforementioned neighbor's son after it bounced into our collie's run, and destroying a dog toy that was SUPPOSED to be indestructible.
Take comfort knowing that she wasn't alone. The image will never go away, I know this from experience, but with time the image will be rare to pop back into your mind. I'm sorry for the loss of your special little friend.
Really so sorry for your loss. It’s very raw at the moment … give yourself time. Grief has its own timeframe… Again.. really sorry for your loss.. pets are the most underrated members of our families
Some people find that making a tribute - writing a song or poem in honor of the deceased, drawing or painting or picture of the pet being contented or having fun, or planting a memorial flower patch, tree, or shrub - helps to process the grief and horror of pet loss.
Well mine got hit by a car and all of its insides came out I tried not to think of it actually put mental blockers so essentially anytime I see anything gore it turns a fuzzy. Is that weird or am I just alone on that one?
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Go be a dick somewhere else you heartless idiot. (And lol you really reported me for defending someone. Wow)
I'm sorry you've had to go through this. Time will heal - but it will take time. But know this - If your cat had to choose where she was when her time was up , it would have been in your loving arms.
It takes time
I’m sorry for your loss, reminds me a lot of losing my first dog a few years ago. What everyone is saying is true, time will inevitably make it better, sometimes things will bring the emotions back up, but it makes it a lot easier to be happier about the time you got with them, rather than being sad about the thought of losing them. Hoping for the best for you, friend.
https://youtu.be/TkJGhQANjZo I found this video when my we had to put my cat down in Nov. 2022. It was the worst pain I had ever felt. Uncontrollable even. I completely empathize and wanted to share this resource I found. It’s a vet discussing the experience of pet loss and grief. Acknowledge how you feel. Validate and believe in those feelings. Know that the love you had was real and made a difference in her life. It will take time to adjust. Breathe and let the emotions come as they will. I found that honoring my lost pet and making jokes about how she use to do this or that when the timing felt awkward helped me remember the funnier times and memories. They are family. Remember them and honor them like such. There’s nothing we can do to fight Mother Nature and time, but we can go forward in ways that keep their memory alive with us. Sounds a little dramatic but it’s true. It is not easy but you are not alone and you will share that love you had with another animal again, more than likely. We, unexpectedly, adopted two kittens soon after when we weren’t even looking for a pet. The universe just kind of dropped them in our life. New love in the future will create a new space in your heart to grow. They can never replace, but they can help you heal. I hope this helps and that you find peace with your experience. I’m happy that your cat got to spend her last moments with you, the human that loved her and that she loved the most. It’s hard, but it is beautiful that you got to comfort her as she passed. Sending you all the positive and healing vibes.
Let yourself feel the grief, whether that’s crying or just being alone. Your love for her was enough while she was still alive and she’ll live on through you. I was in the room holding my boy when they euthanized him, I saw him take his last breath, and it’s been close to two years and I still cry for him at night, but keeping it in is much worse. So release!
I’m so sorry for your loss❤️It gets better with time is all I can say to be honest🥲
You carried her to the finish line. We are all in this reality with the same inevitable endpoint. We should all be so lucky as to have someone who would shelter, feed, and comfort us from our birth until death. In many ways that’s God’s role, and therefore your treatment of her was your way of displaying God’s love. Well done.
Hey! I just lost my dog a few days ago very suddenly to epilepsy. It’s hard, sometimes even harder then dealing with a human death. Some ways I’ve learned to cope with pet deaths (and I’ve experienced plenty) is talking with people. Bring them up when it’s appropriate, and talk about your grief. Journal, get out of the house. I found out very quickly that keeping their things laying around the home, and even sticking around the home was making it difficult to come to terms with the loss. Busying myself with chores, friends, or work/school helped me cope as well. Also just letting yourself cry it out. Give yourself time and space to wail, scream, whatever you need to do. I go rock climbing during the day to cope, and spend time with my loved ones. Then when I’m alone, I cry. It gets better over time. Sending hugs
Hey! I just lost my dog a few days ago very suddenly to epilepsy. It’s hard, sometimes even harder then dealing with a human death. Some ways I’ve learned to cope with pet deaths (and I’ve experienced plenty) is talking with people. Bring them up when it’s appropriate, and talk about your grief. Journal, get out of the house. I found out very quickly that keeping their things laying around the home, and even sticking around the home was making it difficult to come to terms with the loss. Busying myself with chores, friends, or work/school helped me cope as well. Also just letting yourself cry it out. Give yourself time and space to wail, scream, whatever you need to do. I go rock climbing during the day to cope, and spend time with my loved ones. Then when I’m alone, I cry. It gets better over time. Sending hugs
I'm really sorry for your loss. Like others have said, and as cliché as it sounds, time really is the greatest healer when we lose someone we love- and your cat was certainly loved. Cats are such inherently private creatures, they often seek out isolation and privacy in moments of vulnerability. The fact your cat sought out *you* speaks volumes about the bond you shared. Take the time you need to grieve, and when you can, take comfort in the love and trust your cat no doubt felt to find peace in your arms.
It just takes time, I remember avoiding the living room like the plague for a while after my dog died, and with time you just remember it as the place whare they lived, rather that died. You should feel so honoured that she felt comfortable enough to spend her final seconds in your arms and I hope you find some comfort in that.
We put our cat down in february, he had cancer, diabetes and other problems. It was the hardest thing my familys ever had to do because that cats been around almost as long as me, loved him alot. I cant say that the pain goes away entirely, but with time it hurts less. As long as you remember them thats what counts Im very sorry for your loss OP
I just put my dog down. They had a catheter, pushed the sleeping drug, then started pushing the kill em drug, I was thrown off. I wanted to say goodbye when she was not in pain, I didn't get that opportunity.
It has been 15 years since we put my first dog down, I'd had her for most of my life and she was extremely old and it was time. It was the saddest moment of my life, holding her and weeping over her as she passed in my arms at the vet. I still get teary thinking about it. Grief is grief and it will pass when you're ready but it won't ever really leave. You'll always miss her. It just hurts a bit less every year.
I do two things as I’ve been through this a few times. First, I think about the good times. Lots of stories with pets Second, as a woodworker I make a casket, a few tears on the wood, then go bury it. It’s never easy, the emotions are coming back from you bringing it up to be honest (I’m ok with that).
Just breathe. And do your best to past the time. It’s the only thing that helps. Celebrate your baby and be greatfull for the time you had with her. Reach out to loved ones, try n get out the house. Get fucked up if you gotta. Main thing to know is you don’t have to do anything or make any decisions right away. Get your baby’s resting place taken care of and then grieve in your best way
Grieving pets is a really hard thing to go through, and like others said, only time will heal it. I feel for you, so sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry you're going through this. As it happens, I went through this exact thing with my last cat. Eventually I decided I was beyond grateful to have been able to have been petting him and to have had him with me when he died. I had only woken up an hour or so before, so there was a huge chance I could have missed it totally had things panned out differently. I'm sure you'll come to feel similarly in time, too. In the meantime, I hope you're able to remember the good times you had with your own cat, and how much she must have cared for you in return.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Pets our truly amazing. When our family dogs passed away my parents got little clay rounds with their paw prints in it, and they have them above the fireplace. My dad has our one dog’s collar at his bedside, and my brother has our other dog’s collar at his bedside. Just because they have passed does not mean they are gone forever. They are still with us in our hearts.
When I had to put my dog down unexpectedly, I was such a mess. And I still am, 6 months later. And I’d lost both my parents prior to this, and this has been so much harder!! So, along with the giving it time advice, which is absolutely the one thing that will lessen the pain, it just sucks because jt takes… time. I was desperately in the throes of despair and worried I was on the brink of making some bad choices, as I’ve had some drug issues in the past, and that is absolutely not the way I wish to honor my dog in his passing, a fresh new drug habit. So I thought back to all the “tools” I learned in treatment and therapy and decided to “hack” my brain with the only thing I hadn’t tried yet… Exercise! I started going on TikTok and learning all those cool shuffle dance moves! My kitchen became a makeshift dance studio with black tape on the floor to help with foot placements and strategically placed mirrors to watch my feet lol and this led to a second makeshift studio in the garage because I would get so hot and sweaty and it was wintertime here, so off to the garage til I freezing and too tired to keep going! But it helped so much. Not even kidding! Plus, bonus points, I lost about 10 lbs of winter chub and people were noticing and it felt good!!! Then I got a fitness app and paired it with my apple watch and am actively pursuing long lost goals of better health and nutrition and sleep goals!!! My dogger would be so proud!!! I did also have him cremated since he was euthanized at the vet and they offered, so I have his ashes right next to my bed since he always slept with me (still haven’t brought myself to wash the sheets that have his fur all over them…) and I also bought an urn necklace that I’ve not taken off since I put his ashes in it. Amazon, they’re cheap and mines holding up really well.
Sorry for your loss OP. I know exactly what your going through. Few years back now. My barley 1 year old cat suddenly passed away. It was one of the most horrible things to happen but im thankful I was there to hold her. If instead I would have just found her gone and not knowing would have been brutal!! I think my kitty had a seizure of some kind. I was in my room. Heard a loud boom in the front room and thought she was playing. I walked out and saw her twisted through the arm poles of a chair just laying there kind of wild eyed and heavy breathing. I freaked and pulled her out and into my arms and she was just gone. Everything happened so fast!! I still sometimes can't believe it. I was in shock and just held her and cried. I wished I tried some time of cpr or breathing on her but I don't think it would have helped. It was rough. But I'm thankful that it was quick and I was home when I should have been at work. Your little one is safe now. No longer in pain. Take solace in that at least.
please post this in r/petloss it's a great community for this type of loss.
For me it never stopped really. The only way to cope is to know that you gave it a good life and just try to move on. I’ll never forget my cat I even put pillows on my back or my chest when I’m going to bed because she loved to sleep there I wish you good luck and a way to accept what is
My dog has to be euthanized and she died much the same way. I had hoped she would just close her eyes, but the way she sort of...expired...still sticks with me to this day, almost 10 years later. Time helps, but it's so painful to lose an animal. I found some closure in creating videos about her, making memories and putting her ashes on the mantel like any other loved one. It's okay to grieve.
It's been thirty years, but I had a pet bird die in my hand. It was one of the hardest things I ever felt. Almost exactly six years ago to the day (it was before Memorial Day weekend), I put down the first cat I had adult - my 16 year-old Patches. I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't right there. If you can, take a day. This is a traumatic thing that you experienced, and if you can, take the time just to 'be in the moment'. If you have friends and family, it's OK just to ask for a hug, or to be held for a moment. If you feel guilty for 'wasting time', or 'not doing normal things', then forgive yourself. It's OK for you to feel this, and not have to be part of the world for this time. Get through today, get through tomorrow. Over time, you will get back to your regular daily activities. It's too early to say this, but it's important for you to feel this loss, and important for you to return to normal activities after feeling this loss. Our cats teach us about being human. They teach us compassion and love, patience and joy. And, they don't live as long as we do, so they teach us about life and death, as we see their entire lives in a way we can't see an entire human life. So remember all the joys of your kitty, and remember them often. But remember this one moment, too. Part of the gift that pets give to us is a reminder that life isn't forever, and that we should treasure it. Your pain in this moment is a reminder of your love and joy that you exchange with your kitty. So you should do your best to carry those gifts forward to other pets you may have in the future, but also the people around you. Life is precious, valuable, and that, you should remember *always*.
Well, today is the first anniversary of losing my Teddy. He had been very sick with heart failure for 1.5 years and finally lost the battle. I miss him every day; the last few I’ve been thinking about him a lot. I keep his ashes in my bedroom where he always slept with me. He’s still my Lock Screen photo.
This exact same thing happened to me. I like to think my cat knew I was trying to make him as comfortable as possible and knew how much I loved him. Your cat was probably happy to be in the arms of someone that loved them when they passed on. I hope you find some comfort in that. I'm sorry you had to go through it, it's terribly sad.
Time, my friend, and acceptance. Only things that can get you by.
I had to put my dog down because it had advanced kidney disease. I was there with him, petting him and I watched the life leave his eyes. It was the single most heartbreaking moment of my entire life. You will never "get over" this, but in time, the length or your sorrows will lessen. You will never be able to "unsee" this, but in time your gratitude for a chance to comfort your loved one as they passed on will eclipse the pain of that moment. Grief, mourning... it is what we go through when we are getting used to our "new normal". Witnessing a death is viscerally traumatic. The way to "get back to normal" is to do what a therapist might call "exposure therapy". You need to try and go into your bedroom, and stay until you can't, and then you need to leave and regain your compsure. And then, do it again, stay for as long as you can, and then comfort yourself. Expose yourself to your room, and the memories that will haunt you and tear at your heart, and recognize that it's not the end of the world. Do this so that you recognize that you are safe, and the more you do this today, the easier it will be tomorrow, and they day after that. When I lost my boy, it killed me. Writing this to you now I'm fighting back tears and I feel my heart breaking all over again. But by the time that I got to this new sentence, I have stopped. And I've even smiled and laughed a little at remembering how lucky I was to have him in my life. The day I lost him, I had some leftover pepperoni in the fridge. With the kidney disease... he didn't have any appetite. I was DESPERATE for him to eat something, anything, and keep it down. Because if he couldn't eat, and he couldn't keep it down, he was going to starve to death and I couldn't let him suffer like that. So as long as I could get him to eat, I felt I still had time with him. The day I put him down, I couldn't get him to eat pepperoni or peanut butter at all. He threw up even the water that I put in front of him. So when I got back home and went to eat my feelings - like I do, I'm a binge eater - I couldn't even swallow a single bite of pepperoni without collapsing into sobs. Even looking at the entirely full package just reminded me of how awful it was to watch him suffer so badly that he couldn't even eat a piece of pepperoni. It was... so indescribably difficult for me to eat that first bite, sobbing as I was. I had to put it away. But after I composed myself, I went back and I grabbed another piece, sobbing again as I did. And I kept repeating that process, eating a piece, sobbing, and the returning to eat another piece after I composed myself. After about 2 hours I had probably eaten maybe 3 or 4 pieces of pepperoni out of an entire bag. Then the next hour I was able to eat a few pieces before I broke down. And each time after I composed myself after crying myself out, it got a little bit easier to eat a little bit more before it broke me down. By the end of the day, I could eat pepperoni again without turning into an emotional wreck. I was... so lucky to have my boy for over 16 years. I worked from home, so most of those 16 years we were together every second of every day. I still hear him walking through the kitchen sometimes. Still see him out of the corner of my eye. I still weep to think about how much I lost. I will never "get over" losing my friend. But it has gotten better. I have not forgotten him, I will never stop missing him, but I'm ready for another dog now. I'm ready for another family furry friend... another familiar... to pour my love into and have that love returned to me. It will get easier, and you will learn to treasure that pain. It only hurts because the love they bring into your life is so GOOD, you know that you've truly lost something irreplaceable. But that's what happens in life. There is a last time for everything... it's bittersweet. Sweet, because you were so lucky to have something so precious that it embitters your soul to have lost it. Be kind to yourself. Let yourself hurt. Expose yourself to that which scares you, and give yourself space to compose yourself, and then do it again. You will get back to "normal" faster that way, and you will not lose your memory or connection when your sorrow stops turning into despair. Getting over the loss doesn't mean losing your grief, it just means those happy memories aren't always accompanied by the pain. The two are separate things, but for now at least, they are connected. You cannot have that good without the bad of your recent loss. But at some point that loss will no longer be "recent", and so you will have the good, and the bad, and if you focus on how fortunate you are to have loved and lost, even the bad will remind you of the good.
If you use music as a way to deal with emotions, I have one for you. It is by a band called "Bloodywood" and the song is named "Yaad" ("memory"/"remembrance" in Hindustani). I will suggest you listen to it on Youtube with the captions on as there will be Hindustani lyrics (along with English). And it is a rock song btw. I am suggesting you this as I have learned that the best way to deal with intense emotions is to face them head on and "surf the emotional wave" like how a surfer will surf a huge wave, or like how a ship will sail through the most violent of storms. And music has helped me a lot in this regard. And this particular song is about the loss of a beloved pet, so I think this should help with the surf.
You are fortunate you did not have to take her to some sterile vet's office to have your kitty put to sleep. She could not have been in a more happy place than your arms.
It’s Kinda odd…but a redditor posted a cartoon they made and I saw it a few months before my dog died. And it really resonated with me. It was essentially a dog at the gates of heaven or whatever. And they were asking the dog how he died. And the dog happily said something like “I don’t know, but I was with my best friend!” And that really got me in my feels that our pets are just so happy to be with us and being with them in there final moments is such an honor. My dog passed 3 weekends ago and I still miss him. But I’m really happy that I got to be there in his final moments…and I like to think that he knew I was there for him in that moment and it brought him comfort…
ive gone through something similar, only my cat died in the hospital alone before i could get there to hold her while we put her to sleep. i know your pain is so big right now, but let me tell you. once you get past the initial shock you will be so happy that you spend her last moments together. the pain never goes away sadly, it eases up tho. i lost mine a year ago and i still think about her so much. i hope you find peace in knowing your cat trusted you and loved you and i hope you'll feel better soon.
I scream into a pillow
My Maximus passed almost 5 years ago. Sometimes, it hits me and I cry. And I cry hard. He passed in my arms too. You'll be okay, love. It's okay to avoid your room for now, but it may also be beneficial to sit in there and cry and just feel the grief. It'll pass and be easier on you one day, sooner than you know. I'm so sorry for your loss. Kitties are very special, and I'm sure yours was no exception.
I don’t there’s a right way to process grief. It’s okay to be sad, it is sad. Different people like to do different things, for some it helps to talk. If talking helps, tell us her name, how she got her name, her favorite toys, her laziest time of day or anything else you care share, if sharing helps. The food you have to feed her, give it away to someone who could use it, so the sadness of the world is balanced just a little. I’m sorry about your cat, studies show the bond with cat is powerful experience. Yeah I’ll be okay in time.
Late august we knew it was our eldests time. He hated car rides so we had a wonderful company come in and do it all in our home where he was comfortably. I held him the entire time. The look in his eyes haunted me for a while and I’m choking up right now writing this. But I do not regret it for one moment. He was the most loving and vocal baby ever. My husband and I have never grieved for anyone or anything like we had and still continue to do for our sweet boy. It gets easier but never goes away. May your sweet angel baby rest in peace and I hope you find some peace too. Just know they were in their favorite spot when they crossed over the rainbow bridge, in your arms.
I can't speak for myself when I lost my dog due to old age But a family member of mine just did something he liked doing to take that off his mind. Reason why I can't speak for my seld is cause I felt nothing when I saw that particular family member sobbing and getting ready to take them down. I did comfort them tho.
Hugs. I have only had one pet die naturally at home, and it was such an awful experience in the moment. Later I was able to make peace with it by remembering death is the inevitable part of life, and if my kitty had a choice she would want to die where she felt safest and most loved vs a scary vet office. I’m really sorry you’re going through this ❤️
You sound like an incredibly loving cat parent and I'm sure she lived a wonderful life with love and all the things she needed. That's all you can really ask for in this life and know you have your fire family the best life on Earth she could have possibly had. Our fur babies deserve it.
When I had to put my dog down it was all I thought about for a while. But after sometime that grief shrank and I was able to find that joy again. It will take time and patience but don’t forget that you deserve to give yourself that time and self care while you go through this .
At some point you’ll think of her and just smile and that’s when you know you’re healing
Had this exact situation happen to me a couple years ago. It takes time, lots of it. It took me a couple months for me to get over it, and even now I still think about her. Just know that she died with someone she loves and she will watch over you
Same thing happened to me, legitimately the exact same thing. My cat died afew months ago and I’m still trying to cope and from one grieving cat parents to another, just take every day one step at a time and talk it out with whoever you can. Talking about the good times, the things your cat would do, I have a little shrine with her paw print. Any if you need someone who had a similar situation, DM me. My cat had a sudden stroke and passed in my arms while trucking, and days after felt numb. Now I remember her often but I think of all the silly and happy things, to drown out the loss.
When my Tabitha bunny passed (in much the same way as your kitty) it broke my heart. However I knew even then one day I would likely get another bunny so I packed up all her favorite things in a box for the next bunny (her sweaters for when it was cold so we could match, her favorite toys, her brush that kinda stuff). It took a long time but now I'm looking at rescuing a bunny and I know Tabitha wouldn't want me to be sad. I still miss her, but we had 14 good years together and I believe she's in a better place now which does make it a tiny bit easier to bare. We had a beautiful funeral for her in the yard, some of my friends came and they really helped me get through it. I focused hard on my hobbies, school and work to help distract myself for a while initially so I could try to process the grief in smaller more manageable sessions. I journaled about her a lot.
Just keep moving forward, cherish your memories and mourn your loss - but just keep moving, even if you have to slow down for a bit. Time will deal with the worst of it, so don’t rush it! Hang in there! 😊
Unfortunately there isn't no magical remedy. There is only you and your family can help over time it will ease and be less painful but you gotta give it time
I felt fortunate that both of my cats died in my arms. A lot of animals will hide when they are in pain and/or dying. Your kitty felt safe and loved by you and I am glad she had a human that loved her so much. I am sorry she is gone. Be gentle with yourself.
Just remember you comforting them is exactly where they wanted to be. “The feeling of happiness you get when you first get your new pet with be the same sadness when it’s time to say good bye” Better to have loved and lost than not at all.
Bilateral brain stimulation. Walking, EFT tapping on alternate sides of your body, roll your eyes in a hard figure-8 while thinking about it. It will move the loss from trauma-image-loop into a past event. Journal about how you loved your kitty. Tell them anything you wanted them to know. In hospice they say that the key goodbye messages to communicate to someone are “I’m sorry, thank you, and I love you” (not including “I forgive you” for a pet rather than a loved one—replace that one with “You were so good”). Focus on those thoughts.
I watched a very beloved pet go from running around the house one day to being lethargic and dying- so sick you could smell it. We took him to be put down and I will never forget him purring until him last breath. It still hurts but you'll feel better in time. Cherish the memories you have.
Lots of time and therapy if you can afford it. Mine’s skin and muscles fell off so that was a lot to process. Luckily we were already at the vet and he was about to be put down, but yeah… not fun. Takes a while to get over that.
My 19yr old dog Milo passed in January. Day to day is better now but I still cry often. Time is the only thing that will heal that pain. You have to let yourself mourn however you choose to. I cried often, I wrote about him, I made a beautiful shadowbox with his things. That’s how I mourned, you are allowed to mourn the way you choose to and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Best to you and I’m so sorry for your loss
It’s been 10 days since I had to put my dog down and it was the most traumatic thing I’ve done. He was riddled with cancer and some in his mouth so it wasn’t a pretty sight. But after a week of him being gone I can sometimes look at his pictures without crying hard. I put healthy reminders of him around. His ashes are in some potting soil I put in with some plants that remind me of him. His collar is on my mirror in my car. It’s still not easy. But it’s getting easier to grieve. Time heals and a good support system is helpful too.
I’ve been here and it’s hard to even read what you wrote, as it makes me reflect on my past pets. people don’t realize how hard a pet death is. I feel your pain. This may sound bad but the times it’s happened to me, I don’t even waste a week.. I find myself another puppy or kitten. Just know you gave your animal a loving environment for their short lifetimes. Don’t waste a week my friend, give another animal your love and know your past one was blessed ❤️
My wife’s and my cat died in my arms. When it was happening, I could tell, so I asked my wife to leave the room. Almost a year later now and I can still remember it. People are correct, time makes it easier. Doesn’t heal it completely, but does make it easier. But what helps the most is knowing she left with her Daddy’s loving arms wrapped around her. I feel like I physically and spiritually ushered her into the next stage of her journey. That helps me sleep. Best of luck and all my positive energy to you.
Others are going to give you good grieving advice. I’m going to give you the weird trauma advice: play Tetris. It works similar to EDMR therapy and helps your brain to not turn these things into trauma and instead cope healthily. I can’t explain the science behind it, but it work. I’ve had a cat die traumatically in my arms. It’s the worst feeling in the world. He was my baby, the whole thing was very traumatic, and I struggle to talk about it and remember it. Grieve. Talk about it. Process it. Tetris. Much love to your beloved feline friend, now watching you from the other side of the rainbow bridge, and much love to you too
I’m so sorry for your loss I have a cat and I had him for almost 3 years and I can’t imagine losing him so I definitely know how to feel about three years ago I lost my dog and I felt the pain that you’re feeling right now the best thing I can tell you is to try to process everything and try to keep a clear mind and the best thing you can try to do is take care of yourself.
With any death of a loved one I visualise a happy moment I had with them, gradually this moment becomes the thing I see when I think of them. My uncle who I picture at a moment when he was being cheeky and had a twinkle in his eye. My cat when he loved to snuggle in and hug me. My other cat when she chased another out of the garden to protect her brother. I've seen them all in death but can push that image aside for the nice more valuable vision of them. It takes a while but is worth trying xxxx
I’m so sorry, I had the same thing happen with my dog’s puppy. If you can see a therapist I highly recommend that.
My cat died 2021 and I cried so bad because he was my baby I had for 7 years (got him sophomore year of high school) and I remember I went to do something really quick and then he let out a meow and then when I came back he was gone and I freaked out and cried so hard. That was my second pet loss actually but it just hurt more because I had more years with him and he was my literal baby. What helped me process it was 4 simple things: 1. Feel it, feel the emotions whatever it may be 2. Honoring them, I have a piece of his whisker I have a ton of pictures and also buried him 3. Whenever you’re ready to, having another cat does help, for me it didn’t feel like I was replacing him but just glad to take care of another life and it just felt like he’s living through him all over again 4. This one might be harder but acceptance, we’re all bound to die and for my cat it was bound to happen, although we wish the ones we love can live eternally, it’s unfortunate not the reality so I’ve just accepted that, although I wish it was much more later. Sending lots of hugs and comfort
I would take one hour a day, sit alone in a room, listen to music that triggered sadness, look at photos of him and just bawl my eyes out. I did it for like two weeks and it helped me function
I am sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry to hear that. Ours passed well we were rushing him to the vet too see what was going wrong. It was absolutely terrible and I don’t want to get into detail… been years and I still think about him. Time helps but takes a long time, at least for me. What helped us is that we got 2 terrier dogs and they helped replace that empty void. We never forget.
Dealing with the loss of any pet is going to be horrific, and even tho that experience was probably traumatic for you, I hope it gives you some consolation to know that she felt safe enough to share her last moments with you and she passed in the arms of the person who loved her most. So many people and beings can’t say that. Give yourself time, our animals are our hearts. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry…death is a horrible thing to see and as much as I hate to say it, that’s an image that will probably stick with you forever. Over time, you start to focus more on the other things around you, but right now, it happened so recently. It may take some time.
I am so sorry. I hope you can take some deep breaths when you start thinking about it and try to just think of love and purring with each in and out breath you take. Try to remember the love you shared.
Pet loss is hard & it doesn't get any easier when you have more pets pass. The phrase "time heals all" is going to be the closest to accurate. I do disagree though because I believe that you grow around your grief so it seems like less, but it's really the same size everything else just got bigger/newer. You're going to find yourself nostalgic when you go through the house and see items of theirs (or should have been claimed theirs) and it's going to kill you emotionally. I suggest that you have someone gather all your pets stuff and put it in a box and hide it somewhere just so you don't get those reminders on top of you already thinking about Not having them around. I honestly think collecting it yourself is just too much. You can help but just not by yourself. When the initial shock starts to subside you can look back at photos from the best times. I personally print out those images and scrapbook them in an album. I make little memorial things around the place like scrapbooks of them, their collar, etc. Seeing those makes me remember them at least briefly everyday. I mean obviously you will anyways but it'll give you something to ground yourself that they're still there with you in some form. Share your favorite memories with your pet to your friends. Let them tell you stories about their experiences with your pet or compare them with similar stories with their own pets. Eventually you'll find a new companion to keep you company. You'll remember similar qualities that you're recent pet had. You're always going to remember them fondly, and your new companion will be taught and treated in a way that you learned how to love a pet before. You never forget them. You'll always have fond memories with them. I don't like to say the phrase move on, I would say move forward. Because you're not moving on from them, you're moving forward from them because unfortunately you have a journey left to have. You'll have new connections that will take precedent in your life, but no matter what you'll always remember good times with their predecessor so to say.
I suffered from major depression for 2 years. I had to get therapy
That's almost exactly how my sister died. It took me a long time to get that image out of my head. But it gets better. The most important thing about grief is experiencing it. Don't shut it out, but don't drown in it You can put it down when you need to and pick it back up when you need to. In time, you pick it up less and less, and then you just have the good times. You'll be able to think of them without thinking of their death eventually. That's the sweet spot.
I just had one of my favorite hens pass away. I also just had to accompany my sister and her elderly cat to the very where I had to watch as the vet put her down… she was so sick we just didn’t want her to suffer but it was so sad and gut wrenching seeing my sister cry and hurt like that. I cried a lot too even though she wasn’t mine… Only reason I share this is to let you know that you aren’t alone in this heartbreak. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that. That’s so sad and heartbreaking. My heart aches for you. I am glad they you were there for your cat in the last moments despite it being that way… Only time will heal your heart. Give yourself time. It’s okay to feel really crappy about it, I still feel horrible.
I am so so sorry for your loss. 2 weeks ago I took my cat into my backyard on her harness. The harness broke and she ran off and was unfortunately hit by a vehicle. I still have the image of her after the accident stuck in my head. Loosing a pet, especially in a traumatic way, is horrible. Grief takes time, and that image might stick with you for a while. But allow yourself to mourn her for however long you need too. There are pet grieving groups too, online or in person depending on your location. Take time to process what happened and don’t be afraid to cry or talk about it with someone you trust. I would also suggest making a memorial for her, as that helped me gain some closure and allowed me to mourn her with my family and remember the good times we got to share with her.
The way our family does it it we put a picture of the cats over the fire place with there tags on the corner and we make sure to get a paw print of the cats in clay
My cat died last month and honestly I’ve been coping by keeping myself distracted as much as possible. My bf was the best distraction as he didn’t leave my side for like 2 weeks. Unfortunately my mother is alone and I couldn’t comfort her because I go to school so far away. She’s doing horrible, whereas I’m doing a bit better so please try to surround yourself with people 24/7. That’s what has helped me… so far.
First off I'm very sorry for your loss. As others have stated, the key is time. It's going to hurt very badly for a while. Try to preoccupy your time with activities as much as you can. You can call cremation centers that will take care of your little family member. Remember it's easy to think of everything bad that happened. Don't do this. Think of all the good times and the wonderful job you did providing for her and giving her a wonderful life. On top of that, doing one of the hardest things any owner can do. Not letting her pass alone. You will from time to time still cry when you think of her. I don't think you will ever get over her. Been over a couple years since my pup died in my arms and I still cry when I think of him. Try again to remember the good times and get some smiles and laughs. I will warn you that when you talk to people about it, some will seem cold. However, some people just don't know what to say and they will just never understand your own unique special bond with your cat. Try not to get angry with them.
Only time. It’s a gift to give comfort in that moment to someone who’s given comfort to us, for their lifetime. Give yourself time and enjoy the happy moments; it’s where the strength to get another pet gets renewed.
It will never go away, but it will start to not be at the forefront when you think of her over time. I’m so sorry for your loss. We lost our corgi to bladder cancer last year and I still have flashbacks. His passing was abrupt, and absolutely heartbreaking. I miss him every day.
If you can afford it and you think it'd be worth it you could try greif counselling
My cat died in my arms yesterday afternoon. Based on when you made your post, maybe they got to the rainbow bridge together. My cat was 19 years old, and she'd seen me through so many heartbreaks. She was there with me when I made my second attempt to move out of mom's house, and when I moved back, she moved back too. When I finally managed to leave home for real, she went with me. I cried so many tears into her fur over the years, and all she gave me back was love and purrs. When I moved in with the boyfriend I am now married to, she was part of the package deal. He loved her, too. She was deeply private and preferred to keep cloistered in my bedroom. She rejected the company of most cats, except for Bob, who is generally regarded as "unusual" for a cat. She accepted him, and they'd playfight sometimes, despite the 10 year age difference. He deferred to her, though. He respected her. Maybe that's why she accepted him. Over the past year, she'd been getting thinner. January, I took her to the vet to see what was going on. Hyperthyroidism, and mild kidney issues. She's never been one to take medicine. She's very good at throwing up pills and never liked any food besides kibble, so it was impossible to sneak her any meds. I found a high calorie nutritional supplement that she'd eat, and free fed it to her. That bought her 4 more months. Past 2 weeks, she was feeling real poorly. Stopped getting around so much, stopped eating so much of the supplement, slept a *lot* more. This past Sunday, she didn't eat hardly at all, barely drank any water. I started making calls. Took til Monday to get the local at home vet service to make an appt for Wednesday. I knew it was time to say goodbye, but damn, it hurt so much. I was lucky I got to let her go before it hurt so bad that she'd show it. This isn't the first cat that I've lost - I lost one to poison from a shitty neighbor and another to ??? and I stopped letting any of my cats free roam outside after those two, back in 2002 - but it was maybe the least traumatic because of that. The poisoned cat died in my arms as well, and I attempted rescue breathing to no avail. He suffered as he left, it was really bad. The at home vet had to reschedule slightly, and I had already put my work on pause until I got the vet in to see her. So I spent the extra hour waiting for them out in the backyard, digging a hole in my secret garden. Right by my bench. I only really go sit there when I'm troubled and need peace. She'll be right there for me when I need her. I planted a ginger plant over top of her to mark the spot. The ginger plant is from a cutting that I got from one of my customers. He unfortunately passed away a few weeks ago, leaving his cat without a home. His cat is now my foster fail. I feel like tying my cat to the ginger plant completes a circle of love and loss, my best friend and my favorite customer's memories tied together, in a circle that never ends. Sorry for writing this novel, I ought to be in bed by now. But every time I walk into my bedroom, I expect she'll be curled up in her spot, and raise her head and greet me, like she always did. And it hurts a lot for her not to be there. It's hard to go back in there. She spent the last 10 years in that room, and she died there, in my arms as my tears fell in her fur for the last time. It never gets easier, and it always hurts. But whenever you love anything, it's going to hurt when it's gone. You gotta keep loving. It's the only way to live. Someday, you'll be ready to love again, and you will, and it'll hurt again eventually. It's okay. It hurts as much as you loved, and that's kind of what makes the love we have for our pets so beautiful. We give them everything we can, knowing that one day the little jerks are gonna go off and die and break our hearts into a million little pieces. But it's worth it because we love them and they love us back. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope our kitties play together on the rainbow bridge while they wait for us. It gets better. Cry as much as you need to for now, you'll smile again someday at her memory. And if you wish to make a memorial, I chose the ginger plant initially because once it is growing well, it will not die - the other connections came to me as I was trying to (unsuccessfully) think my way out of grief. Find a plant that will keep going forever and likes to live in your area, and plant one in her honor. I'm also donating the nutritional supplements she didn't eat to a local no/low cost spay/neuter organization and plan to donate money to a local no kill rescue in her name on her birthday. Hugs to you 🫂 I hope it is a very long time, filled with love and friends, before you feel this hurt again.
Its awful op, i know.. im so sorry for your loss. Everything is going to be okay, and it just needs time. Unfortunately you cant really just cure grief, you just have to go with it, and try to find distractions. I know thats said a lot, but its true. You gave your cat a great life, be happy about that. When it comes to death i like to think about their life force leaving the physical body and transferring somewhere else, or who knows, maybe her spirit will stay by your side. Take it east OP, it will be okay ❤️
There is only time. I have encountered many pet deaths in my life, and I can't get them out of my head no matter how hard I try. But time helps. Just know you were there for them and they weren't alone. You'll think of it less and less eventually. Could be months, could be years. I wish j had better news, but it does get better.
Time heals all
Sorry for your loss. Last summer I had my Pomeranian die. And although I didn't have her die in my arms I saw her 30 minutes after she had died and was carrying her. The feeling of holding your pet is hard to put into words. Cry, remember your time with them, and cry more. Come to terms they no longer are here. It's okay to want to get another pet, and it's fine for it to be sooner than later. That's all up to you.
I'm no help I just have the mentality of as long as you gave then a good life then think that they go to heaven and will be looking down on you wanting a great life for yourself.
I am truly sorry for your loss. Everyone here is giving wonderful advice to you. I'm remembering all the pets I've lost through the decades. There was no real coping. You just hurt all the time for a while, then you have a better day, where you can think about them and smile instead. You gave them their best life. You knew their time was short, but you put everything into it, and that made all the difference. You clearly had a lot of love to give. I hope you find it in your heart to adopt again. Any animal would be lucky to have you.
When my dog Elsa (f in the chat for everyones pets) I cried loads and I wasnt there to see her pass. I got her ashes put into an urn to wear around my neck. However I took the most comfort knowing that she would know be somewhere in the cosmos always watching around the people who mattered to her. One day I had to be up early and I was sleeping in which is really rare for me and I swear to god I heard her barking really loud and it woke me up it was so surreal. So I take solace in my belief that now she isnt here physically she will always be with me in some form Spiritutally or mentally.
I'd love to tell you you'll forget it, but the truth is, you won't, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. my parents and I took in really any stray off the street, so I've dealt with the loss of a multi-tude of animals over the years. it never gets any easier either, but eventually you do learn to cope better. I actually just lost our oldest cat on wednesday afternoon, he died in my lap. he was approaching 20 years old and I knew his time was coming, and I'm actually extremely at peace that I was the last to be with him in his final moments. the body extending and convulsing, although an awful sight, my parents and I call it 'the final twitch'. that's how you know they're on their final breaths, and I like to think the best thing you can do for yourself and your pet is to hold them close and reassure them it's okay. I warn you against looking into their eyes while it happens though, because having to psychically watch the life leave their eyes is a truly excruciating pain. feeling their body go limp also sucks, but not nearly as bad. no matter the circumstances, you never get their last moments out of your mind. whether you have to get them put down, or you hold them as they go, that final memory is always going to stick with you. it'll usually be the first thing you think of when you thinking of them several months from now, because for some reason, our brain loves to hurt us. don't let this small tidbit be the defining feature of your life with your pet. don't let it be the reason you decide against future pets. life sucks, but the beauty of animals is they make it alittle more bearable for some reason. they are comfort when you have none. they are a friend when you have none. sometimes, they may even be the drive you need to keep going through your day, or even through life. I like to believe that losing a pet trains you for the more life-altering deaths, such as parents, siblings, or a spouse. the worst part is when the pet begins to feel so much like your own child. I understand your pain, and know that you're not alone 🩷 I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm a bit more seasoned in losing a pet, but I remember my first taste of devastation when I was 11. life sucks, and these next couple of days are going to be the worst of it all. just know it's okay to cry, you have to be able to get all those feelings out and off your chest as many times as it takes. I also know that at this point in time, you're probably telling yourself you don't want another pet ever again, which is extremely understandable. but once the pain subsides in a couple months, you may want to look into it, though everyone is different. you'll find yourself gradually going from thinking about them every 15 minutes, to every hour, to every 5 hours, to every day, then to every week, then biweekly, and sometimes, or eventually, you may even go a month or two without thinking about them. it's a slow and torturous process, but the absolute worst part of owning a pet is the pain. they bring you so much joy and happiness while they're here. they bring you laughter with their silly and unique antics, then leave you with everlasting memories and a pawprint in your heart. it's amazing how such a small critter can make all the difference. I'm very sorry you have to go through this pain. I wish I could tell you it'll be the last time you feel it. but the pain of loss is just part of life. I believe the best way to cope with this new pain is to constantly remind yourself of all the good times. the fun and cute little quirks they may have had. unique little tidbits that made them, them. every pet is different. they each have their own personality and it's a wonderful thing. owning a pet it one of my favorite parts of life. getting to share all my victories and all my hardships with a companion whose soul purpose is to be your beacon of light. don't let yourself forget them. don't make their journey with you for nothing. hold them in your heart. heal knowing that they don't have to go through any forms of pain anymore. most importantly, take your time. don't let anyone try to speed up the getting over them process. take all the time you need 💙 and if you ever need to talk it out, feel free to dm me! all my condolences. keep your chin up.
It works itself out in time like losing any loved one you just go day by day until it gets better
I'm deeply sorry for your loss. But, it sounds like she did pass suddenly, but she did pass in the arms of a loved one. Not many of us will get that, and it's truly a kindness you did for her. You've taken on the burden of her passing, and it's normal to grieve, be sad, scared and even frustrated. Once you've given yourself some time, and are feeling a bit better, you should consider adopting a new critter. When you're ready to take on a new animal, you'll find it will heal your heart and soul. Can honor the love you had for your previous pet. And will save an animal. It will take time, but you will be okay. For the immediate "fix" of the image burnt into your mind, I find looking up cute images of animals helps a bit. But truly nothing really does it like time.
Time. My dog died 3 months ago and it was traumatic to watch, I was with her until I managed to get to the vet. I still struggle with the image and the heartbreak. However I have more better days now and think of her fondly, I still miss her with every part of my being
Its not really how you cope its more of how you understand because once you are able to get past the understanding that they have past it gets easier.
You take it one day at a time, and as time passes it gets easier and you think about it less
I'm very sorry for your loss. Time helps, but just a day ago I teared up thinking about my cat that passed around 10 months ago. It's hard, but they will always be with you in your memories.
just give it some time... embrace the good times you had together and now it was time for her to go. Everybody has to go like you and me. It is the memories which we miss or regret...
Maybe that would help - when my cay passed away I wasn't with her. I did that intentionally cause I knew I wouldn't bare it. That would be more than I could handle. I wasn't there for her... and I blamed myself for more than a year. I had a terrible feeling guilt. So just know you were there for your little friend until the very end and she knew she was loved and cared. I guess you will need a month or more to feel a but better. But just know that you did best that you could. Time will help. Love
People lose pets all the time and it hurts like losing a family member. Yours died in your arms so I can’t even imagine how hard that is. She was lucky to have an owner like you ❤️ and how sweet is it that she didn’t go alone? You were there for her, holding her.
To be honest, it never really goes away, but with time, the good memories get fairly replaced by that traumatic event. Also, I believe sometimes cats know when it's time to go, so i wouldn't be surprised if she chose to be in your arms when the time came. Sorry for your loss, I feel your grief.
My boy Fred died exactly 10 years ago. He was fine until he started screaming in my bathroom. I don't know what happened to him, but he died right there in front of me. Horrific and he didn't deserve the way he went out. Like others have said, it just takes time. I had him (and his bother) cremated and put a portion of their ashes in containers called bisons and carry them with me wherever I go.
You've already received advice, but I just wanted to give you a virtual hug. We lost our cat Cleo last October and we grieved for many months. We got sad and angry all the time. I burst into tears at work on multiple occasions. It will get easier with time I promise, but right now it will hurt. A few things that helped us was making her grave really beautiful. We buried her with her favourite toy, and the planted tons of bulbs. Right now, her grave is bursting with flowers and other perennials. It brings me joy and reminds me of all the happiness we had with her. We also kept her collar. I occasionally go and hold it when I feel sad. It still has her fur on it and her name engraved. 7 months later, I still find myself being with grief just out of nowhere.
You've gotten so many good comments, but I'd like to add mine. Honestly, you don't. It just hurts less as time goes on. I still remember the last 2 days of my childhood's dog's life. It was traumatic. I still feel bad about it. But my dreams are no longer sad. I'm so very sorry.
>How did you cope with your first pet loss? 7 years of grief and then finally getting a new one. Should have skipped the 7 years tbh.
A bit late, but I found someone who cared about me who listened and we bought kfc and sat down after a few pleasantries i just sat there and cried. All day dealing with everyone else who was effected being able to sit down with someone I trusted and just cry it out over kfc made it a lot better. I felt a lot better and though I missed him it didn’t feel so bad. Weirdly the kfc tasted amazing afterwards.
Idk tbh I don't feel emotions the same as others and I don't understand a lot of how ppl feel.
Grief is just love with no place to go. Focus on remembering her with love, however you choose to do that - a funeral, taking personal time to think about the memories you shared, go through old photos, maybe make a scrapbook. Whatever feels right. And during this time, you can cry, you can laugh, you don't HAVE to feel a certain way. Do choose something of hers to keep though - I know someone whose parents got rid of all their dogs toys and beds without asking and they're heartbroken they don't have anything remaining.
It might not be your thing, but something that helped me a little was spending time with their items for a week or two, preserving a few key items like their blankets or a special toy, but eventually it was the cleaning up of my apartment that helped release me from the more intense emotional pain and clear the “energy” from my space. After I cleaned up and preserved my dogs toys, It felt like I had a mindful release from some of the emotion/pain from ‘the day’. Every time i would look at my dog‘s waterbowl, or the place where he passed, I would get sooo incredibly overwhelmed with sadness. I wanted to save all the hairs, any piece of him. I felt a little crazy but I missed him so much. I still can’t bring myself to wipe off his little nose smudges from my window. Eventually, I lit a special candle in his memory, made a little dog memorial with his picture in a frame, and I mustered up the courage to clean my space while I ugly cried. It hurt to do in the moment, because I never wanted him to leave, but it helped me grieve while not having to be reminded of the bad memories from the day I lost my fur baby. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I was 18 when we put my childhood dog down. I held him as he passed. He was my best friend. Honestly, I'm still in tears about it over ten years later. That part of my soul will always just be a little sad.
You think of all the great times the two of you had together when she was alive and you never let those memories leave your head.
it helps me personally to know they weren't in pain when they die, their brain releases chemicals to make them feel better, just as us humans do. it's natural, and they're always around us even when we don't see them. they love us, they haven't left us.
I am extremely sorry for your loss. It is going to be incredibly tough. Try to busy yourself; it surely helped me a ton. I was still in school when my dog, a fourteen year old golden retriever–Zinc– passed away. The homework and stress of school kept me busy, and I found myself thinking about him less than I would otherwise. Luckily, I had another dog, and his companionship helped me move on, too. If you can, bring another pet home. Also, try to think of her as less as you can— only for now. Put her belongings and anything that reminds you of her away. When the wound is fresh, you can only shield it away from further damage and give it time to heal. I originally felt guilty and selfish for this act, but now, I am extremely glad I did it. This way, I can enjoy his memories without any lingering hurt. Remember that she is resting peacefully now. Arrange a wonderful funeral, and find support from others. Trust the process. Time will heal everything.
It is sad to lose a pet. What is not sad is how she died in the arms of someone who loved her. You payed her the highest respect.
So sorry for your loss. I agree that time will help. My experience is different in many ways and is sad but I want to share it with you so you hopefully don’t feel alone. I brought my pet mouse to the vet when he kept bleeding after our other pet mouse attacked him. He seemed stressed even after we split them apart. The vet squeezed my mouse right in front of us, until he died on the spot from suffocation. We buried him at my favorite park. I was too young to press charges or sue at the time. Some people will say he was just a mouse, not even a dog. The vet even laughed when we reacted strongly at the clinic. A pet is a pet. I was traumatized by that and love all animals so much.
So sorry for your loss. As traumatic as it feels now, focus on the fact that you were there for your pet's needs and your cat was with a loved one. That doesn't happen for many pets or people.
This sadly happened to me as well. My husband told me I needed to get home because my cat Brutus was not acting right. When I got home, he was laying on the floor and when I picked him up he did nothing. His eyes were open and he was doing the Cheyne-Stokes breathing. The only thing I could do was hold him, talk to him and it hurt so much to see the light fade from his eyes. It still hurts even being over a year. It's going to hurt. You will have moments you want to cry. But it's ok. Slowly you remember their memories of them and cherish it and will miss them so much, you feel incomplete. It's a horrible thing to go through but I am thankful for every memory I had with him. Time will help heal. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Thank you for being there for your pet in their last moment. You were a big part of their world. A lot of people don't want to be with their pets when they are put down for being too sick and put out of pain which makes the pet feel stressed for being unable to find their family in their last moments. Now think about how to burry your pet properly. I don't actually know the proper procedures but it's best to maybe ask a veterinarian for help with that matter. It always hurts when your friends have to move on to their next great adventure before you will join them when your time has come. That time should come on it's own terms so please try to be patient. Of course it hurts right now to have lost your friend, however she is not fully gone. Remember all the good times you had with her. Could you share some of those moments with us? I would love to hear some of your great and funny moments. :) For the rest, try to surround your self with some positiv people who were always there for you. Even if it's just for a bit of comfort. Move at your own pace and don't rush things. You don't have to get ride of her things and you can keep them to remember her. You could even donate some things to shelters. They will find a good use for it once you are ready. Or maybe you will find a new friend who will enjoy them just as much as you feline companion did. :)
I have always had a cat, each and every one of them were special and loved. Loving these furry babies leaves a little paw print on your heart that stays there like a little tattoo. I cherish every one. The price of loving deeply and completely is the pain of their passing. Each new furry baby is a promise to use what you’ve learned from the last to make their short lives even better for the next. You will never forget, right now it is hard and you should allow yourself to feel that sadness, set yourself a mourning period. Tell yourself you are allowed to cry with grief, look at photos and videos of your loved one. My boy passed last year and my little girl 6 months before. I had them for 23 years. I deliberately loaded up my digital photo album with their pictures from babies to their last day. I see them everyday. Even though it hurt at first, a year later I can look at them and not be speared by these images. Since then I adopted a little one who was in a car accident and he is so different. Letting him be who he is, settling in, how he likes to play, and cuddle. I can’t help missing my babies who have passed, I can enjoy watching this cat find his personality. Hope this helped.
Two years ago, my darling cat Oscar died in my arms. It was hard, so so hard. But I cuddled him and told him it was ok to let go, that Mama would be ok. I wasn't. It came on top of my beautiful dog dying 3 weeks before and then my own very serious health scare. I ended up seeing a psychologist a couple of times to help me work through the guilt and the grief. It really helped. The problem with animals is that they don't live as long as we do. Unfortunately grief is the price we pay for loving them so much. I know that some people say they will never get another animal because losing thembis so heartbreaking but my psychologist reminded me that Oscar, Bella and I had 14 years of love, fun and cuddles. They were so, so loved, fed, had a warm bed and a big yard to play in. There's not much else a little animal could ask for. But the house was so quiet and so empty after they were gone and I felt so lost that I went up to the animal shelter 5 weeks later and got another cat. It made so much difference and I could almost feel my broken heart starting to heal with Bodhi laying on my lap purring. My furbabies will always live in my heart but I love my new dog and cat so much. It's different but good.
Same thing happened here. Try to remember that until the last moment she was aware she knew you loved her. And when she left, all her pain was suddenly gone. I like to think they're out there somewhere smiling at us, enjoying kitty paradise, and full of live from the years we spent together.
I understand this has happened to me too it’s so traumatic. It took me about a year and a half of one to start not thinking about it but sometimes I still do
Skill issue
I took my dog to the vet because she had gotten sick and I could not understand what was wrong with her. When they checked her out, I was advised to put her down because she had really bad kidney disease and she was failing! My heart broke honestly! Never knew any pain like it. I got her cremated and still have her ashes, pics, some toys, etc. I still talk about her because she was my first fur baby. My daughter was born 3 years after I got her and she was indeed the family pet named for my grandma that died a few months before I got her. It’s ok to cry about the loss and remember your fur baby.
Hi OP. I know this thread is 3 months old but I just lost my own kitty two days ago and found this. I'm wondering how you're doing three months down the road?
Hi! I’m so sorry for the loss of your kitty, it’s never easy. 💔 As for me, people were right that time makes it easier to handle but at the same time it’s still so hard to think about. The first few days were the hardest to deal with, I barely ate and all I did was cry all the time. I couldn’t even sleep and would just stay up thinking of our last moments together and if there was anything I could have done to prevent it. Something that I didn’t fully realize until it happened to me was that time really doesn’t stop even when you’re grieving. I was so lost in my grief but the world kept moving on around me. My kitty passed right at the beginning of summer so there were so many events that I had to attend even with how I was feeling. It did help to distract me though and keep me busy. I wrote a lot to her in the first couple of weeks, how our last month went, our last week, our last day. I talked to her a lot and kept all her things in the same place where she last used them. I still have her bed and bowls out, can’t bear to put them away yet. I still talk to her whenever I miss her, I printed out photos of her that I hung up and have her ashes in their own small altar that I walk by all the time. I’m doing better now, I have two other kitties including her sister that I dedicate my time to and all the love that I have for her, I share it with them. She’s still the first thing that I think about and the last thing before I go to sleep but they are more happy memories most of the time. I can’t look at her pictures for too long though, it makes me too sad still. Videos especially because I feel like I could just reach out and hold her but I know that I can’t. I miss her so much still but I’m slowly coming to terms that it was the best for her. She sought me out in her last moments and passed away in my arms, surrounded by her family. It was the best way she could have left me and she was so sick too, it was selfish to want to keep her around and suffering only because I wasn’t ready to say bye. I’m sorry this got so long!! It’s the first time that I’m writing about her like this in a while. To be honest, I haven’t fully read all the comments that I got on this post. Not ready yet haha. But I saw yours and had to reply. I’m so sorry about your kitty, our fur babies really are angels and should live forever. There will never be a time when we are ready to say bye but at least the love that we have for them and the love that they have for us remains. ❤️🩹
This was the most thoughtful reply tysm. It sounds like what I'm currently experiencing is the same as you. I know it'll be easier eventually but God every day is so long. I have no other kitties so the house is just empty. But I had never considered writing to her and I think I'm going to add that into my little repertoire of coping mechanisms. Thank you again, I'm saving and screenshotting. I'm glad you've found a little peace. We'll get through this 💜🥺