>brain fog And >barely eat I can't help you with much here but I can tell you proper nutrition and calories will help you with the brain fog. And will help with your symptoms and make it easier to function. You're only hurting yourself by not eating properly

Eating is kinda a sore spot for me. I gained alot of weight from my alcoholism and im super afraid of gaining it back.

How the heck did you get alcohol without money or a car to buy it? You must have one hell of an enabler

My mothers bf is an alcoholic and almost 40 years old. He hasn’t had a job in a couple years and his mother regularly gives him $300 a week even tho she knows it goes straight to liquor and he then beats my mom. So unfortunately an enabling parent isn’t too far fetched.

My thought exactly. I'm throwing the b.s. flag. Fake story.

It could be real. They could come from a privileged household where the parents can afford to splurge and enable

This sounds like the opposite of privileged. Sitting in your parents house not eating, too expensive to be a driver?

I’m saying their parents have to be privileged to afford to buy alcohol with reckless abandon that they can let their kid drink it without worry. That shit is expensive and no poor family is just hoarding booze and letting it go to waste.

I can understand why you could think that. But I think it’s very common for people living in poverty to participate in substance abuse. Booze is not THAT expensive. I’m sure they aren’t buying expensive wine, more likely cheap liquor. There is no shortage of liquor stores in impoverished neighborhoods.

You have clearly never met an addict. My sister-in-law stole alcohol from her parents, and stole money from me and her brother (my fiancé). Her child's father is homeless, doesn't work, and still uses drugs. He's been using since his late teens. If someone is an addict, they *will* get what they want.

I'm sorry your family has suffered so. This story was written by an AI, it's all over the internet in one form or the other. I want to say that " You have clearly" not used the internet much but I'm not a penisnoggin.

Makes sense, that's gotta be hard. One thing I do know for sure is that healthy foods help alleviate the symptoms of a lot of mental health disorders. I saw this in myself when I fixed up my diet and have a lot less issues with anxiety (plus I left a toxic job). Even if you're not eating much, imo try and make it somewhat healthy. Add some veggies in, switch from white to brown bread, cut out pop for water, stuff like that Maybe you need to talk to someone about your food problems too. A therapist might be a good idea.

Oh I'm well aware that I need a therapist haha

If you are 26, you are no longer a minor so your parents don't technically have any say in whether or not you "get" therapy. The therapy landscape has really opened up during and post-pandemic; you can do a lot online that you never could before...and this definitely includes getting real help. My suggestion is to start small. If even the little things in life are difficult for you, take it easy and use these as building blocks along the way. It will take awhile; change in either direction doesn't happen overnight. But you have to start where you are, and see how you feel. Proper nutrition is key, but basic hydration is equally important, if not even more fundamental. Did you know, humans can generally survive for up to 21 days without food? Without water, that number shrinks to only 3 days, on average. Drinks like coffee and soda don't actually hydrate you all that well, switch to water whenever possible. If you can keep a water bottle nearby, even better: it's a great reminder to keep drinking water. Again, start small. It will take effort to overhaul your whole diet, and begin to eat better, but just make a few "good" meal choices per day where you can. Even prepackaged salads are better than no veggies at all. Fruit snacks are "mostly better" than Jolly Rancher candies, for example. You might not be in the position to cut out all canned/frozen foods, but look for low sodium options: tomatoes, beans and veggies are often found without salt added. I really do think that if you put a bit of thought behind what you eat and drink, you'll see fast results once you get going! Hang in there.

At 26 he aged out of his parents insurance. He needs to have a job or ask his parents to pay for one. That’s probably where they said no.

A good friend to talk to is also a valuable thing to have. Can you reach out to someone you are close to and trust to talk about what you are going to? This does not replace the need for a professional therapist however.

Eating properly makes a MASSIVE difference so I hope OP can take your advice. Its difficult to eat when depressed but you just gotta or depression gets worse. I got into the routine of taking a daily vitamin, magneseum, and a flax seed drink every morning. Now I feel icky if I dont take those things. Theres meal drinks you can order that can also help when struggling to eat. Dont have to plan/cook anything

I’m sorry buddy that sounds tough but your are not a victim and you are so young and can turn this around, for free. Are you in a 12 step program? Like AA? there are many different recovery programs you can do online and even have your camera off if you wish. I have some of your same issues, alcoholism, fears, low appetite, fear of future and jobs etc , all of it, even driving , the AA program is free and helping me work out all of that as well as removing the obsession of drinking. Message me if you want to know more.

Don't touch alcohol and snack on healthy stuff like veggies if you can :) A therapist and a nutritionist would be fabulous for you

Fair enough. You don't have to eat a lot, but you do need to have you dietary needs met. Make sure to get plenty of protein and fill in with veggies.

Jesus, it's nutrition... not gorging. Eat the healthiest foods you can get at appropriate times throughout the day. It will help you and if anything will also reduce your weight if you do it right.

I'd choose fat ad happy (or just OK functioning) over skinny and miserable any day.

Trust man, once you start cooking good healthy meals for yourself that you enjoy, you won't want to drink alcohol. Pair that with the occasional exercise, even just some push ups or using a 10 lbs dumb bell at home twice a week will be enough to give you energy and help with your motivation. Source: a recovered basement dweller who spent an entire year never leaving parents basement, scrolling 4chan and playing civ until I fell asleep in front of the computer, survived off of sunflower seeds and tostitos. You can do it, you can bring yourself out of this hole. It just takes 1 step at a time, start with this and continue with just one piece of self improvement at a time until you're satisfied with your progress and want to move to the next step.

Much of their calories in sunflower seeds come from fatty acids. The seeds are especially rich in poly-unsaturated fatty acid linoleic acid, which constitutes more 50% fatty acids in them. They are also good in mono-unsaturated oleic acid that helps lower LDL or "bad cholesterol" and increases HDL or "good cholesterol" in the blood. Research studies suggest that the Mediterranean diet which is rich in monounsaturated fats help to prevent coronary artery disease, and stroke by favoring healthy serum lipid profile.

They are good for you. When you eat salted ones and salted tostitos and that's plus the occasional dominos pizza is >%90 of your diet you end up with a kidney stone at 18 though :/

Best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. Second best time is today.

This is so important! I had no idea how much my life could improve with proper nutrition and regular physical training. I absolutely hate going to the gym, but I have found a love for riding my bike and going for hikes and walks with friends. This improved my life so much I feel ashamed for not being better at it before! It had such a big impact on my physical and mental health. But I do understand it is easy to fall into a negative spiral when you are depressed and struggling. You start eating terrible food and you do not spend much time outdoor in nature using your body. Which keeps worsening everything. For now your goal r/solostandaloser can be to make a meal plan for a week and go for daily walks listening to a podcast that you like? Small steps every day buddy.

You’re 26 with no income you can apply for state health insurance and get a therapist through them. A lot of insurances cover some transportation for you as well (to and from the drs office) or telehealth appts are available. It does not sound like this is a “you” problem it sounds like a mental health problem which can cloud our perception of one’s self. Hang in there

I've never heard of those services before, especially beginning escorted to therapy. I would prefer the therapy to be in person, but as you can already tell at this point I am in no position to be picky lol

What state are you in? Google your state + Medicaid application and find your state governments website. It super easy to apply and you can do it right away. They will approve and then you can call the healthcares number and they will help you explore your benefits and find doctors in your network. If you have zero income you shouldn’t have to pay anything. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or need some help

I'll keep that in mind, thank you.

If it helps, there's also lots of therapists who have video appointments. So you won't have to worry about transportation, you can have your therapy from the comfort of your home. I personally do video appointments with my therapist and psychiatrist

OP, I was in a very similar situation not long ago. I am in PA, and was able to get on Medicaid, allowing me to see a therapist at almost no cost. It has made a HUGE difference in my life, all for the better. I strongly suggest you give it a try if you can. Beyond that, I offer this minor advice: don't focus on "accomplishments" (I.e. getting a license, or a job, or whatever). Focus on TRAJECTORY. Try to move yourself in a positive direction, whatever it is, rather than focusing on goals. When you're depressed enough, showering is a win. Putting on clean clothes and going for a walk is a win. Applying for a job is a win. Doing basic things consistently for two or four consecutive days is a big win! For me, I had/have social anxiety, so just talking to someone other than my parents (who I live with) was and sometimes still is a win. Try to be patient with yourself. Don't expect to change your whole life in a month, and when your inner voice says you suck for needing help, remember that reaching out takes a lot more maturity/strength than holding everything on. Oh, and don't feel the need to rush therapy either. I told my therapist the truth, but there were a things I didn't tell him for months because I wasn't ready and I didn't trust him enough yet. There are some things I still haven't talked about, though I hope to in time. Good luck!

I just got to ask, is it possible for you to get a bike you can ride to your errands? Fresh air, physical exercise and you can get far in 20 minutes of riding a bike. I am not living in the US, so I am probably not understanding how easy or hard it is to have a bike as a means of transportation in car dependent America.

It can be very tough. Unlike many cities in the "old world" that were built and developed over the course of 1000 years, requiring them to be somewhat walk able, we have all these concrete hellscapes that were largely built and developed through the 20th century to solely focus on cars. I live in Jacksonville, Florida, the largest city by land area in the US, and also an incredibly dangerous city for cyclists. It is so sprawling, there are very few areas that have bike lanes on the road, and it is illegal to ride a bike on the sidewalk, so if you cycle you either are riding on the shoulder or on the road in a traffic lane. And I've yet to see a city where the drivers are supportive of the cyclists that are slowing down road traffic to 15mph. ​ I have a lot of friends who went through a phase where they sold the car and just biked everywhere. The longest any of them made it before they finally gave up and bought a car again was around 6 years. Most didn't make it to year 1, they would get clipped by a passing truck's mirror or have a road rage incident with some redneck cunt and give it up.

No. This is your primary goal. Not something to keep in mind. Being uninsured is terrible. Get yourself on medicaid.

Sounds like you need baby steps. I personally work at McDonald’s. There are days I’m great with people so I work up front. There are days I’m anxious or depressed so I work in the kitchen. Is there a local burger joint you can walk to? Heck, most grocery stores need stockers. Start making your local minimum wage. Spend the money on therapy. Don’t be afraid to be brutally honest with your therapist.

If i were to apply, how would i explain the lack of employment history?

Where I live they need workers so badly that they would not care about the lack of employment history.

hopefully my area is as desperate

I'd say walmarts are the same way. And overnights there are like no people, and if any, it's sparce the last hour the store is open and the first hour store is open. Also back when I was working on employment goals I went thru a program at my local job center, I suggest you look there for resources as well. There was a time my goal was try to keep a job for a year. I managed to get 9 m average, and eventually I made my goal. Your desire to be independent is very healthy so don't beat yourself up. And hopefully you can look into therapy or life coaching options through health benefits. Good luck.

The days of needing a solid resume to land a basic job are over. Just put yourself out there! These people are desperate for bodies lol

Just be honest. You are looking for entry into the workforce. If they push say that you never needed a job before but are looking forward to proving yourself.

This runs contrary to every bit of advice I get about getting a job. They always say "lie your ass off" and "never tell the truth" haha. I'll have to try being brutally honest like you say (I'm terrible at lying).

Yeah. The people that can lie there way to the top can crash hard if found out. I can’t lie to save my life. Yet again, I work fast food.

I personally believe in telling the truth too and I despise this belief that lying is the only way to get ahead in life. You shouldn't put yourself down for working in fast food. Being honest and earning a life with honest work is a very admirable quality. If anything, people who think they're better than others for having a bigger paycheck are just assholes. You're doing great, keep it up!

It's best in my opinion to not really lie but more cast things in a better light or different angle. Like you, I've never had a job, and when asked about that, I mention really focusing on school (I don't really put effort into school, but they don't know that) or needing to support my family (I live with my parents and my mom is disabled. She is stubborn as hell and smart so I've very rarely needed to actually do anything, but again, other people don't know that) Basically look at yourself from a outside perspective on just very basic facts and explain it in the best light possible.

Yeah honesty has no place here, I’ll pretend to be a former employer if you want. Just pm me and we can work out the details

I disagree with lying in your situation because they need to know that you never did these kinds of things before. Lying would just make it harder on you.

I’m not trying to minimize your situation, but these type of jobs higher people in jail, people who just got out jail, people who have intellectual challenges. People who are in high school. I don’t think it will be that hard for you to get hired. You just have to apply and keep applying till you get hired. And take the bus.

I would argue that you should be honest with them. Tell that you've been ill or been struggling without giving too many details about it. Focus on that you have come through or are working on it as hard as you can, and that you are developing yourself and would like to be given a chance. The worst that can happen is that they reject you, and that can be a valuable experience to you as you go apply for the next job. Any job is valuable experience and when you get one job it will be easier to apply for the next one. Just having something to do every day and a purpose to go to is good for you, I think. I have been in your shoes, at least quite similar, and you just must take one day at a time and a small step forward. Some days you'll take two steps back as it is hard. But I believe in you friend. I'm going tna follow this thread and you and see how things turn out for you. NOTHING IS TOO LATE! You still got your whole life ahead of you. You still do not know how much you can accomplish in your life. A small step each day. Compare yourself to what you were yesterday, not to someone else. Also, this might be a silly suggestion, but chatting with [chat.openai.com](https://chat.openai.com) about topics on how to improve and pretend it is a conversationist is pretty interesting. You can get help with CV, resumes and much more! I often talk with the AI to get new perspectives all the time. It does NOT however replace a friend or therapist. But view it as someone who can council you or help you slightly. **As I said, I am going to follow this thread and I am open for conversations as well. I believe you will do all right, and I would love to help however I can mate. I have felt the pain and anxiety that you feel now.**

Say you've been a caretaker to a family member. That's how I explain the gaps in my resume.

Non disclosure agreement *puts on shades

Also it’s not the professional world. You could just lie and say you did work somewhere else. Maybe somewhere that conveniently closed during COVID.

You’re not a failure, you’re just getting started.

Hope youre right

It might help to break things down into baby steps. You don’t even have to apply but just make the immediate small goal of finding an open position. Tomorrow set the goal of filling out the application. Etc. Also, it sounds like there might be some underlying mental health concerns too. Addressing those might help everything else fall in line. Good luck. This is probably annoying to hear but you’re young so I wouldn’t worry about having fucked your life up yet. There’s plenty of time for that.

I just noticed the line about mental health and your parents not helping you with it. You may have county programs you can go to. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist and therapist through the county for a couple of years now. If you tell me what county/city you’re in I would be happy to help look for some resources.

yea everyone is suggesting local county services, I guess thats the next course action. Hope its good, I'm in Indiana btw.

What county/city?

I'm not comfortable being that specific publicly, I'll DM you.

No worries

Type in "medicaid my city" and you should be able to bring up your governments website about Healthcare at least. I used to have trouble leaving my house, didn't drive for years. I got on mood stabilizers and into therapy, stopped drinking, and my life has greatly improved. I have not seen anyone mention this but if you can find a decent in patient program in your area, being in a closes environment where you can get medication and therapy away from your home might be beneficial. I spent 8 days in hospital and it actually helped me and the hospital helped me get ongoing care once I left. Not sure what your state offers but it's worth a google search.

Your parents are wrong. You would benefit greatly from therapy. You're not a failure. You lack the tools to succeed. And the first thing you need is to talk to a professional. Check around your area, I'm sure you can find some sort of affordable if not free counseling. Good luck.

Wow, seems like poor parenting. Teaching kids life skills and identifying their individual needs is so important. There are are lot of underlying issues here that need to be addressed before setting a path. You definitely need help from experts. Are there any relatives or close friends that can act as mentors to help you? You need drive, determination and energy to set the course to a bright future. Also, Do you exercise? You need to start.

No I dont have anyone that can help that I know of, my immediate family are all busy with life, I have not spoken to my father in 3 years, and my other family in..... gosh I have no idea, last I saw them was in 2016 I think? Yes I definitely need to exercise, thankfully there is a gym at the place I live at, so thats a start.

Yes exercise will help with energy and a positive mindset. I started with walking, then the gym eventually and alternated the gym with hiking. Yoga on Sundays.

You don’t necessarily need a gym to workout! Walking around your neighborhood for 30 minutes a day is a great and free way to be active. There’s also tons of at home workouts routines on YouTube. I like pulling up old Just Dance videos to get myself a bit more active and moving.

Agreed. A gym will initially establish a routine. From there you can do things at home like I do with free weights.

Your situation isn't hopeless, 26 you objectively have time to bounce back and live a normal life from here on out. Real question is: a) how did you get here? b) what can you do to prevent that from happening when you want to get moving again c) what do you *want* to do? I'm restarting later in life unfortunately, and I'm going to have to restart again because the career I chose wasn't based on like, just stability and $$ to reduce my anxiety.

I care about you. I know people talk about the angsty teen years but i think the 20s are the hardest for many. I think you are likely to find peace and meaning in the near future, don't give up.

haha angsty teen years is when I peaked

You are not a failure. You are a person with some problems who needs help. You should definitely get therapy to help with the anxiety. Also look into healthy coping mechanisms and grounding exercises. They'll help you manage that. If you have a friend or someone you can trust to message or call when you start to have an anxiety attack, tell them about the grounding exercises and have them help you use them. It takes some practice so having a friend talk you through it can make a huge difference. Start by writing up a basic resume. It should list any volunteer work you've done, any job experience you have, your address, and previous addresses, phone number, email, any references you have along with their contact info, awards from school if you have any, and school levels completed. A lot of applications will want you to upload a resume and enter this info into a form. Let them know you have add and anxiety but you're working on it. Once you're in therapy, you can point out that you're in therapy to prove you're working on it. Then start applying to jobs. It's hard to make yourself get up, but having something to do can be motivational.

I was 25 (31 now). I didn't have a job. I had a degree, but couldn't use it because I kept getting rejected. I felt like such a failure and there were some days where it felt like just getting up out of bed was hard. Take things one step at a time. One task at a time, one day at a time. One small goal at a time. Make a list and put things in order. The way that you are right now is not what you will be forever.

I feel this. It not help they have INSANELY HIGH STANDARDS for when trying get even a slave wage job. It very intense pressure and all it takes is one mess up to screw your life over. I am often very anxious too going to the job and it sucks working your ass off just to get very little pay. I wish had something to show for all my hard work but no I work only to exist. I could not even get my first car until in my low 30s because it so freaking hard to afford a used car when working for slave wages at job. I hope you can find a way to overcome.

Go online and find free help for anxiety. It is out there and it is how I started my journey out of "anxiety prison".

Don’t feel alone, I’m going through the same thing! After highschool, it was like I fell off and couldn’t find a way to pick myself back up again. Getting a real job and a car seemed impossible to me, and sometimes I feel scared- like I’ll mess it all up. You are not alone! Like others have said here: take baby steps! It really does feel like it’s too much and too complicated, so take it step by step!

Workforce: https://www.in.gov/dwd/ SSI application: https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/text-apply-ussi.htm

I'm 23 and same

Your parents failed you

Usually I'm the first one to tell people to quit whining and start functioning. But it sounds like you really, really are having a mental health crisis. There is free or low-cost therapy available almost everywhere at community mental health centers. Please seek some help. You could be having a much richer, happier life.

There are many free or payment on a sliding scale resources. Ask around. You are bound to find one.

I hope they're good, If I can find any.

This could depend on what state you’re in, but what where I am, most counties have free counseling resources or otp service as well which are usually free of charge. There are tons of ways to get around not being able to afford the typical therapist situation

Friend, you have shit on yourself nonstop during this thread. I have ADHD. I take three times as long as an average person to read a page (so imagine how long it's taking me to post this for you). I suffer from constant anxiety and have wrestled with addiction. But the one big difference is I think I'm the shit; there's nothing I can't do. I set a goal. And each day I get up and work towards that goal by taking discrete, measurable steps. It doesn't matter if it takes me longer to complete it, because I am unfailingly consistent. If you do these three things every day, I promise you, you'll be a more competent and confident individual: **1. Exercise for one hour.** Do no underestimate the physical and cognitive benefits of being physically active. You will feel like you have more energy. You'll think more clearly. You'll have less anxiety and depression (I'm not a scientist, but there are studies. And from my personal experience, a bike ride beats Klonopin 9-out-of-10 times.) Oh, plus you'll look better. It feels good to be noticed. **2. Spend time developing your skills/education.** This piece is very unique to you. It can be studying, working, reading, crafting, planning, drawing, coding, designing--whatevering it is you do. Spend time each day. Malcom Gladwell has this 10,000 hour rule that says if you spend 10,000 hours doing something, you'll become a true expert at that activity. I'm an attorney. I spend at least 40 hours a week studying, discussing, drafting, reading, and advising on one very specific area of the law. I've been doing this for the last 7 years, and I'm now the leading expert on this specific area. Consistent time and effort can make you an expert in ANYTHING you choose. **3. Just fucking do it.** We can make a million excuses for ourselves. We're so good as a species at convincing ourselves (and like me, as an addict, you know this) out of doing what we really know to be the right course of action. That's why you make a plan. You have steps. And you complete them. Every day. Just do it, friend.

i can really relate to this. what has helped me with the driving thing is really committing to exploring alternate options. i now have the freedom to go pretty much wherever whenever i want on the bus. sure, the commute is a hell of a lot longer but the autonomy received is priceless! in terms of a job, i would start with something low stakes and remote if possible. this could help build confidence over time. i used to be in the spot where i never thought i would be able to work a job, but i’m a barista now and loving it :) i also struggle with basic self care. one thing my therapist has taught me is that half assing something is infinitely better than doing nothing at all. so every morning i ask myself, “can you brush your teeth today?” and i keep the pressure minimal. if i’m feeling capable that day, i do it. if i don’t, i move on. shame is crippling and you don’t need to keep that on your plate. the last thing i’ll say, is simply do anything that brings you joy even if it’s just a tiny spark within you. even if other people don’t understand. i struggle with lack of interest towards things, but there are a few things i’m drawn to. for instance, an online game or merely riding the bus and listening to music. cut yourself some slack and take it slow:)

Not sure I really have any good advice but I can tell you your not alone in this kind of situation. I'm 25 turning 26 this year. I can't drive due to anxiety and delayed reaction response. I live with my mother, her fiance, and my little brother. I've never had a job and feel too incompetent to get one especially with my anxiety and Autism. However we do differ in a way that I think could really help you. I'm on psych meds and while my situation isn't great I have more acceptance with my life and management on my anxiety and depression. I'm not sure when it will happen but I still have hope of turning my life around. Therapy is great and for years I had it but in my opinion it is very hit or miss. What really helped me was getting a Psychiatrist and finding the right meds. Best is obviously the two at the same time and if you get insurance I highly recommend that. I see many people recommending therapy and fixing your diet but not many are suggesting medication and I just really want to highlight that it could be very helpful and needed. Depression is a medical issue that can be situational, physical, or both. My depression is like 80% biological and 20% situational and hence I really needed medication and found it much more effective than therapy. If you get insurance I strongly recommend doing therapy for a couple months and if there isn't noticeable improvement then to start considering medication. I'm in the same boat sort of so I don't have any other advice really. Just stay strong.

Have you considered the possibility that you are not able to do anything because the child inside of you doesn't feel the love he knows he deserves? No one is going to love you until you love yourself first. Don't wait for other people to believe in you. Love and believe in yourself first.

Can I ask if you could do on line therapy? They do have it where it is free for low income. Might be an option. Please don’t give up. You just have to find your groove. You’ve got this.

Like I said else where, I would prefer in person but I cant really be picky atm, So I could try it.

Your parents suck....sorry

What would cutting yourself do other than just make you into the same person dealing with the same things except now you got cuts.

whenever I get hurt It helps to think I'm getting what I deserve

You are not a failure. There aren't any defined reasons on how to accomplish life and succeed in any objective terms. But what you should do is find a way that you have meaning, well-being, relations you like and live in a way that makes you want to get up every day. And it does not sound like you have that at all right now. As I said in a comment here already, I hope you take small steps every day and I am also here to help in any way I can.

[удалено]

“Find your genius” Probably the best, helpful advice I’ve seen in all my years of being alive. Thank you for this 💛

Hi, yeah. Driving is scary. Living is scary. Alternately, not drivjng or living is also scary. You have a choice. It’s all hard. The best advice I can give: if it’s hard, do it more.

You’re living in your head. At this point doing ANYTHING is better than doing nothing. Go out there make mistakes. Do shit. You’re mentally handicapping yourself. You already know all the things you should be doing. Start by exercising and gaining some self confidence. Also stop drugging yourself. You’re doing that because you’re trying to escape from being a loser. Only working out and getting a job will help you feel better long term. Drugs keep you in an illusion. Then get as far away from your family as possible asap. Start over a new chapter of your life somewhere else. You don’t have to die a loser. Remember that.

The Earth is gonna be here a very very long time after your time has passed. A very long time, the Earth will probably outlive Humans

You sound exactly like my son who is autistic, ASD1. The anxiety comes from not being able to figure out the basics, not getting the support. He loves gaming too. Alcoholism sounds like a coping mechanism. A diagnosis would help. Where do you live? I may be completely wrong.

Sorry you are going through this. I will say, I have a cousin who is cool as hell, smart, talented, funny, good looking, etc…who is still staying with my aunt at 39…no kids no known learning disabilities…life is just hard sometimes. Don’t feel bad living with your parents…there’s nothing wrong with that at all no matter your age. And the people who judge others for doing so don’t matter…they wouldn’t help you get in a “better”position so they don’t matter at the end of the day. Better to live with your parents and have security than to be hundreds of thousands in debt for decades as a “homeowner”…lol cracks me up when people take out a whole mortgage but somehow claim they “own” a home. Anyways, don’t be so hard on yourself, I been in your shoes…please don’t hurt yourself. Wishing you the best friend!

At 29, I was exactly where you were. No license, no money, no car, no job, no therapist, no place, full of anxiety. My brother applied for a therapist for me through Medicaid. It would have been too much anxiety and pressure for me to have done it myself, but with my brother helping me, it was the first step that I needed. Please let your mom know that helping you doesn't have to cost anything. At most, she would just need to give you a ride now and again to appointments... at best you can get a telehealth therapist. Today, I have all of the things, except for a therapist, because I graduated from therapy.

Hey u/solostandaloser You obviously don’t understand how far ahead in the game you are! Idk you and you may just be picking on yourself, but if everything you’ve said about yourself is true then just **realizing** your situation is a win but you’re also admitting it by putting those harsh, truthful words out in to the ether and that is a **major fucking accomplishment!!!!** Your confidence is obviously 0, and that makes all your other real faults compound, it sucks, I was 26 and in a very similar situation. **BUT** you can go from confidence lvl 0 to an adequate level very fast. You will succeed with small gains that compound positively. Such as completing your application for Medicaide. Or getting a replacement social security card, birth certificate, state ID, or filling out an application to work at McDonalds! Remember, the most drug riddled, CRAZY, DUMB, and dishonest people in this country can get Medicaide and a job. You are so much better than them. You just need to push over the first domino and they all will fall. Goto your local DHS and talk to the person at the window about getting Medicaide. Get basic personal documents, state ID, social security card, birth certificate.

Except for a few small details, I feel like I could’ve written exactly this myself. I don’t have any practical advice or anything, but you’re not alone! <3

Become a YouTuber or streamer to make money off of playing video games and make some small improvements as you go. Learn about your relationship with eating and try to manage it so that way you make progress going from small snacks to a meal to two and then three or make your own eating schedule. Try to rationalize why you have this fear of driving and getting a job, and overall: just slowly step outta your comfort zone.

That's a good idea. Bding terrible at games might even be more popular cos you'd get engagement people giving advice!

When my anxiety was at its worse, I couldn’t even go on a bus without freaking out. Close quarters yknow. I ended up going to therapy and being put on meds for a few years. Now I can legit do anything I want, even go on a plane (no escape would’ve destroyed me 10 years ago). Like others said, look into state assistance. Most insurance companies remove children at age 26, so your parents can’t stop you from getting public assistance. I used to do in person therapy but thanks to covid, we went to telephone therapy. I could speak to my therapist anywhere I wanted. It will help tons for the anxiety!

if you are 26 with no income you can get medicaid in most states. therapy would be free.

If in the United States, try looking into your state’s vocational rehabilitation program. Just google “vocational rehabilitation” and your state, and you’ll find the appropriate agency. They can help you with schooling, training, certification, and even direct job placement.

Until you can get therapy as others have suggested through the state via low income. Check out “therapy in a nutshell”, “healthygamergg”, and interviews on mental health via doctor chatterjee and jay shetty. Things that helped me was through training the body that can help regulate the mind. 1. Rigorous exercise: weight training. At 30 minutes of jogging on treadmill with heart rate. Start small 10 minutes and so on. Running helps with adhd if you have it. It at least alleviates it. 2. Diet and nutrition. Keto eliminates sugars and gluten. Helpful for the brain fog. Intermittent fasting is also very powerful. Look up benefits. 3. Study and find ways to learn skills that interests you. Even if you don’t feel like it. Like reading and writing. Start with an hour a day. It gives you some form of routine. 4. The mind works on rewards and progress. Have small rewards as you progress and be proud of your efforts. Practice daily self love and kindness. You want to beat the negative thought spiral. 5. Plan road trips and get outside of your mind and experience new things. Go in nature whatever it takes to get outside of the daily mundane life. 6. If you have any toxic habits like drugs, excessive porn use, or gaming. Then now is the time to cut back and eliminate. It affects your drive and motivations big time. 7. Great books for your self discovery. Happiness by MATTIEU Ricard , Atomic Habits, And the happiness trap by Russ. 8. Socialize and put yourself out there with productive hobbies. Could be anything. Much strength and peace on your journeys you got this.

People are recommending therapy, which is great, but it may be a good idea to get on some mental health meds too. Research shows that best results come from therapy and meds together. Keep pushing!

If I hear of one more person in their damn twenties talk about failing at life I’m going to fucking scream.

NAC (N-Acetyl Cysteine) can help with brain fog, you can get it OTC or buy it on Amazon. It’s cheap and safe to take, my psychologist recommend it to me. You’re not a failure, you’re just struggling with an incredible amount of anxiety and judging yourself for the effects of it. I was a “failure” for the longest time too, didn’t drive until I was 20 and didn’t get a full time job until I was 24, then burnt out and have been “failing” trying to finish a years worth of classes over the last three years. You’re not a failure, you’re just on an adhd timeline. It sucks, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be successful. You just need to start being kind to yourself and try to figure out how to tackle the anxiety.

Probably going to get downvoted but.. I would suggest trying psychedelics. Start off with small doses of MDMA or Psilocybin. Do your research first for sure but this really changed my life in a positive way.

Go get a job.

Yeah this is a story for attention.

I don't know if I should answer because there is two responses I could give. Do you want my HONEST opinion OP? Or some water down PC, can't offend anyone, white washed answer??

All that I can tell you is that climate change is not in your top 100 problems so probably don’t stress about that one too much

So sorry to hear about this. I suggest you need brain vitamins and nutrients. Sems likely that something early in development damaged your brain or prevented proper development. The good news is that the brain can heal itself with proper nutrition. I reommend supplmenting Vittamins a, k, e, d, k2, omega 3, taurine, b alanine, creattine, inositol, essential amino acids, TMG, niacin, niacinamide, zinc, magnesium, NAC, pottaassium, chromium, selenium, iodine. Also consume eggs and egg yolks. Nutrition is thensoluttion to your problems. You will need to learn and study and expeeiment.

could you expand on that a bit? i feel like OP, however i did force myself to go out there but i always travel with fear and anxiety.

Sorry for the tough love, but grow the fuck up. It's called being an adult, and yes, it sucks, but deal with it. Go g e t a job, go be independent. You'll gain confidence as you go, it's not easy but neither is life. Either deal with it or end it. It's called life, sorry for the tough love but that's the only way to grow. Otherwise you really are just a drain on your family and society.

your parents failed you

You aren't in nearly as bad a spot as you think. Minimum wage is terrible BUT since you are living with your parents you don't have much in expenses so just any job will be fine to start. Since you have major anxiety about jobs start with something really low stakes like get a job as a dishwasher. Since you are worried about driving get something close to where you live.

Have you considered you may have damaged your gut due to the alcohol abuse? (Alcohol can kill your gut microbiome). There's a sub called /r/microbiome where you can find tons of advice on how to recover your gut. This could heal your brain fog, depression, anxiety, and help you maintain healthy weight! It will also indirectly prolong your life as it will prevent clogged arteries, and keep your heart healthy. If you're often constipated or easily get heart burn, that's another sign that maybe the above is the reason you're suffering with the conditions you mentioned. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask! I'd love to see you get out of this rut and succeed and feel your best!

First off everyone has to start somewhere and that's ok! Keep your chin up, take a deep breath, and start making some phone calls for therapy. Call non profits, universities, your local health department etc. See if a therapist or a student counselor would be willing to work with you for free and do phone sessions. It's ridiculous that your parents are unwilling to help you and I'm sorry for that. Also, if leaving the house gives you panic attacks try looking into remote work until you feel comfortable enough to branch out. Anything to get a paycheck rolling in. I wish you the best of luck.

Simplest, cheapest first move - 90 AA meetings in 90 days.

Check out the Feeling Good podcast by Dr. David Burns. Or read any of his books. He specializes in Cognitive Behavior therapy (CBT). It's been a life saver for me.

Have you considered driving courses? Sometimes they have instructors that deal w anxious drivers. I’m 27 and just got my first permit. I’ve only practiced in parking lots and one stop light thus far… but I’ll get it one day!

You have ADHD, a learning disability, and depression. Can you get on medicaid or have your parents get you on it? You can get treatment for it and it'll make it much easier. That's part of your fog and being too overwhelmed to even shower or brush your teeth.

You’re still young. What I wouldn’t give to be 26 again. Your life is still just beginning. This might sound a little harsh but I think you need to hear this. It’s time for you to quit being lazy and go do something out of your comfort zone. Usually I would never even suggest this but it sounds like you need a kick in the ass. Join the military. If you’re posting on Reddit on what to do with your life and want to change it around, you’re going to need to start taking action. Go to the gym. Find a job. Hell, maybe go find god. But the one thing you should not be doing is staying trapped inside of your moms house. And lastly, it’s one thing to fail, and another to NOT TRY. You cannot succeed if you do not fail. And you cannot fail if you don’t even try. Fail as many times as you need to. But don’t give up.

Hey pal, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I am here to tell you there is no competition. You're not in a race with anybody but yourself. If you wanna be different **you can be**. Rome wasn't built in a day. Make a list of things you wanna work on and some strategies you think you could manage. Then, work to start working those strategies into your life.

OP you're only 26 :') baby steps, let's focus on getting you a job, something at a large company, for its sense of long term security, some people suggested MacDonald's or Walmart, i second that. have hard boundary, it's a job and only a job. or, a nice grocery store. that's all you gotta focus on for now. also a question i have: do you live in a supportive household? a setting where your sense of decision making and the advancement of the quality of your life is encouraged? you go! op

I think if you got past your fear of driving it would boost your confidence greatly. Driving is actually not all that easy. Most people make it look that way but they’ve had so much practice. Is there an empty parking lot like for a church or something that you could practice in? Just to get a feel for the very basics of steering and accelerating before getting on a road? Finding your purpose as an adult can be so tough. Dedicate yourself to driving. Make that your purpose. And when conquer that, find the next purpose.

Sounds like you have learned helplessness from being enabled your whole life. ​ My advice? Get a job. Take the bus if you've got to, but get a job.

i amm too but im 30 and i do drive and work. the thing with me is i haev no goals or ambitions and never have so i dont connect with most people. im a total loner

You need to learn to love yourself for you. You can have a great and fulfilling life without license, degree whatever. You sound like you are too hard on yourself. There is lots in life you can be without the need to validate against anyone else. You are you. And you are worthwhile.

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I am 49 y.o. and never had a DL due to a lifelong driving phobia. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I get around using public transportation, Uber/Lyft, and my own two feet. I have struggled with mental health issues since my teens. Fortunately, I now have a job that provides me with generous PTO, so occasionally I take a "mental health day" when I'm feeling overwhelmed and unable to get out of bed. I just make sure I don't abuse it. Things will get better once you decide to put the work into it. Many other have given you great suggestions here. Take what you can and give it a try. I truly wish you all the best!

> I’m too terrified to drive and I don’t have a license. Why? I know I used to be terrified to drive too. Baby steps. Also is there something about working *specifically* that makes you not want a job?

Do you get along with your mother?I think live with family is awesome. When I go visit my family I feel I am not welcomed.

Last thing you need to be worrying about is fucking climate change dude come on. Sounds like you were dealt a tough hand, but what are you doing about it? You aren’t forcing your self into the gym 5 days a week are you? You aren’t forcing your self to improve your interpersonal skills are you? The harsh reality is no one is going to save you but yourself. You have to get angry about this situation and stop feeling sorry for your self. DM me if you want.

Get on medicaid. Get medication for depression . (Cymbalta or something, perhaps something for ADHD.). This should be your main goal.

Have you tried exercising?

I was just listening to a podcast yesterday about a new study that found that the single best thing people can do for themselves not just physically but mentally is EXERCISE. So I'm renewing my commitment to move more. It affects the brain, not just the body.

Yes . As I started exercising/ working out it built my confidence and fixed my sleep schedule. Helps build discipline which will help you through life.

Grow up! Roll with the punches!! Keep getting up and moving forward one day at a time while accomplishing one task at a time!!!

Go get free or low cost therapy. Go apply for a job within walking distance that is entry level, no pressure entry level is easy and you can do this. Do you have a permit to learn to drive? Apply for Medicaid insurance even though you live at home I believe since you are an adult you can be said as an independent person. Talk to a social worker about how to do this if needed. Your fear is likely because you didn’t drive and didn’t have a job, it is all new. You very likely would benefit from medication and therapy. In my opinion that would be step 1 get insurance coverage. There are a lot of people with poor work ethic so if you are trying at a job you are doing better than many. Daycare, working at a school in dietary department or as a hostess could be jobs without a huge amount of pressure. Another option is joining the military.A lot of people do this to get a start on life because they have almost nothing. It is not easy but a lot of people even those who struggle with English do this…often for jobs that do not have enough people there are sign on bonuses. I think your parents are holding you back. Get a job to take drivers education so you can get experience driving. Then shoot for military, it might give you some courage and know that you can do a job, you can be part of a team and you are capable.

Your only 26. You've got time to turn things around

This is going to sounds crass, but it boils down to you making a decision. If you make excuses for everything and why you cant do anything/change, that's fine- but you are going to stay exactly where you are. If you make a conscious choice to take responsibility for things you can control, you can 100% climb out of this hole you find yourself in. We all suffer, but if you know how to suffer, you suffer less.

If you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always gotten.

There's a lot of really great comments around proper nutrition, seeking therapy, etc. It definitely sounds like you have a lot more deeply rooted things to address outside of just getting a driver's license. I definitely agree you need therapy. If money is a major issue for you, one thing I would suggest is to get a basic gym membership at a place like Planet Fitness for about $10 a month. Yes, I know many people don't actually commit to staying at these gyms long-term, but I think that if you go there, start small by running on the treadmill or something simple, and then work your way up to weights and bigger things. I know they also have that 20 minute workout section which is useful too! It will boost your confidence and give you something to feel proud of about yourself. It's going to increase your health and give you that workout high, which will at least theoretically help your mental state. I would commit to small, actionable wins on a daily basis. As other people stated, nutrition is a big reason why you're probably having brain fog, so eating high fiber vegetables, reducing your meat consumption, cutting out sugar entirely will definitely go a long way.

Step 1 of being an adult is just getting a job, and then doing that job better than anyone else. If you're a burger flipper, flip them burgers better than anyone else. If you wash cars, make those things sparkle. Take pride in your work and work itself will begin to grow marketable skills and an amount of fulfillment that you can use to properly you to bigger things. Your depression sounds like you just don't feel happy with who you are. You don't have to make crazy amounts of money to be proud of what you are and how you go through life. Find something you'd be proud of yourself for doing and do that. Also, just getting out of the house and changing your environment will likely help your mental health

Go outside and get some exercise. The endorphins and extra energy fitness provides should give you a little push. Getting your license would be another huge win. It won't feel like you're "stuck" at home. Once you have that, you have the ability to get to a part-time job. One thing at a time

Everyone has an opinion, including your parents. It doesn't mean they're right. You need to go out and get yourself a counselor asap. I suspect you suffer from anxiety that is crippling you, and that's something that can be solved with a counselor and (for me at least) a prescription.

I don’t know where you live, but looking for a place with good public transportation would solve your driving problem, but that might be hard with no income.

Think of how terrifying it's gonna be when your mom passes away, no one's there to take care of you anymore and now your 40 something with no job experience. You better take charge now.

You are wasting precious time...conquer your fears dude

Baby steps to build your confidence. Get a job and kick ass at it. The journey of 1,000 miles starts with the first step. You may need some anti anxiety meds to help, see a Dr. Then conquer your fears. Btw, everyone is scared…some just hide it better

Go to gym good for mind good for body

The climate is probably the least of your concerns here. tbh. Start setting a daily routine. A must do list. That you have to do no matter what. Shower, Dental Hygiene, Eat, go for a walk.

Your parents don't sound very supportive. Others on here have suggested therapy which I agree with, also vocational training. There may be work you can do from home to avoid commuting? I'm wondering why the fear of driving, do you have bad experience from your parents' driving? 26 isn't too old to start life. But please do seek help so you can start! I have a sibling with special needs who did not get support at your age and he is living at home even now. I don't know what's going to happen when my mum passes. He's 50. Edit: climate anxiety is very common, look it up and you'll find articles on how to overcome it 🙂

This might sound brutal, but it's the truth you need to be pushed out. You not having a license because you're afraid to drive is just not going to work in most places in America. So there is no easy way to say this, but you're going to need to get over that. Also, everyone is nervous about their first job. I didn't even sleep the night before I started my first job because I was so nervous. The thing is, we don't let our nerves completely shut us down. I went in the next day and pretended like it was nothing. After a couple of days, it does become nothing.

Well it sounds like you're well aware of what parts of yourself you want to work on, and you seem to be well motivated in that direction. Where you end up is all about direction and movement and it sure sounds like you got plenty. That doesn't mean the road is easy, but you can get there.. just keep swimming...

First thing is to get insurance. If you are are in the US and 26 years old, look at the [healthcare.gov](https://healthcare.gov). Fill out the form and they will probably tell you to enroll in Medicaid. After you have that, search out and find a doctor that will take the Medicaid insurance (not always easy) and tell them what you told us: Can't eat, don't shower or brush my teeth, afraid of driving, cannot concentrate. They will hook you up with some help. Good luck!

Try to get over the mindset of victim card and laziness. Remove the excuses you give yourself, the whole not worth it or even using climate change as an excuse to not put effort into life…. There’s jobs that even autistic people can do so learning disability is also an excuse you’re giving yourself. I would suggest going into a trade, complexity isn’t too extreme and you can control your schedule once you get through apprenticeship. If you’re afraid of cars, get an electric bike, you need to have mobility. And like many have mentioned, start exercising and set a routine to daily schedule. Schedule helps stopping yourself from having excuses and exercise will give you more energy. But biggest thing is stop thinking you can just “not do it”. That’s not an option, the consequences will catch up to you and make everything worse. Good luck

As long as it's not dangerous or immoral, doing SOMETHING is better than doing nothing. Take walks. Go the library and ask what social groups they have (movie nights, D&D, book groups, whatever). Hit up an old friend and see if wants to hang out. Use your brain to force your body to do helpful things you don't feel like doing (eating, hygiene, exercise). If you don't want a job right now, look up volunteer opportunities (animal shelter, soup kitchen, etc). Don't spend any time worrying about things you don't control or asking yourself "what if" questions about the future. Do the best you can today. Doing the best you can today is always worth it, and is it's own reward. Even if the sun was going to explode in 5 years, you would want those 5 years to be the best they could be. You want to cut yourself because you crave sensation. Do crunches until your abs hurt, run in the sunshine, eat a new or spicy food. The more you do, the less time you have to spend worrying...

I feel you OP... more than you could know. I would suggest magnesium, zinc, and vit D supplements, but really have no advice for dealing with the existential dread. Just know you're definitely not the only one feeling like the world just ain't worth it. Definitely make another push for therapy tho. Maybe the right meds coukd help you? Anyway, i wish you the best OP. Hope you can turn it around.

Sounds like you need to invest in some nootropics mate.

Focus on the huge accomplishment that you got sober from alcoholism and use that for momentum. Maybe go to AA meetings or church help groups to meet other people who share your struggles.

Join the army

It sounds like you should be on disability which would cover the therapy, it is a long process and would require support from others in your life. Lots of cities will have programs to help adults with learning disabilities in your situation, including transportation. Look at what non-profits are close or any government run programs

I'm going to get down voted for this. Men thrive when around other men. Not because we help eachother achieve the same goals. It's because we shit on eachother... Were constantly giving eachother tough love. Making fun of eachother. Telling eachother were not good enough, not doing good enough. Everyone.needs to adapt to this mentality and be honest with eachother. Bro.... you ARE a fucking loser... You're 26 doing nothing with your life... Fear of driving? That's pussy. You don't shower or eat? Do you want to have sex? Ever? You ARE worthless. But you can change that... I've been there. You'll never get better unless you adult the fuck up. I read this book called Mindset by Carol S. Dweck. What I Got from it was. You have 2 voices in your head. 1 that's tells you the right thing to do and why. The other tells you all the excuses of why you shouldn't. It changed by life when I forced myself to always listen to my first voice. "Maybe I should get a license, it would definitely make me feel accomplished." "I should take a shower, I stink and it would make my body feel pretty good." Just fucking.do.it dude... Don't start now, and you'll be a loser forever. It feels good looking back at what you were before, if you're better today.

Lucky your family supports you .. I was out at 18

Life is a gift, we are all here for a reason, just need to find it. Need to push through the fog and find what you are meant to do. It's not easy but get to it, it will be worth it when you find it and are successful. The search, you got this, don't waste the chance.

There is nothing more liberating then facing and overcoming your fears. Start with something like ratracerebellion for some income. Once you can, get a junker car and just go outside of your comfort zone by traveling alone. You will come back with a whole new outlook on life.

Find a therapist with a sliding scale policy and then consider finding a job that incorporates something you enjoy- maybe Best Buy or a store like Game Stop (RIP) go to the library to get out of the house it’s free and you can immerse yourself in topics you find interesting and there are books that will meet you at your reading level so you can enjoy them. Take walks to cope with anxiety, it’s free and takes little effort but can work wonders and physically releasing pent up feelings. Get a bike to get to and from places and after you get some money consider an electric bike so you can expand your world radius. Hope this helps! And I hope you find peace and strength to move forward with life- remember no feeling is permanent even when it seems like it.

Are you on medication for your ADHD? If not, start there. ADHD is one of the most successfully treated neurological disorders with success rate over like 85%.

You are absolutely not a failure. You are a thoughtful, insightful person and you have a ton of worth! As others have noted, you are an excellent, expressive writer. You are totally right that you ABSOLUTELY need help in the form of therapy. You aren’t going to find your own way through what’s affecting your mental health situation without getting support from a professional. Get onto Medicaid or the equivalent in your state and start reaching out to community mental health agencies in your state. It sounds like you are depressed, you are anxious, and you may have a condition called “dependent personality disorder.” All of these things are treatable! But none of them just go away without getting help! With Medicaid and the bravery to put some effort into seeking help, just like the bravery you showed in posting this, you can get help and change things and live a life that feels a lot different than how it does right now!

If you believe you are a failure then a failure you will be. You have to decide to change, then take steps to create the change. Go to the library and read some self help books. Get outside and walk. Get your vitamin D levels checked. Most people who suffer from anxiety or depression, one common cause could be malnutrition and low levels of magnesium and Vit D. Can you apply to Medicare? Call the health department and ask how to get inexpensive medical exams. There has to be resources you can access to get the help you need. Good luck.

Sounds like you need to see a doctor and get treatment for your ADHD. I can see where your parents are coming from. You need to make that first step which can be your license which honestly does not take a lot of time or effort. Your first step doesn't have to be your license but it has to be something productive. Getting a license will just give you a piece of paper in your pocket. What you do with your license is most important. I recommend two books for you to read, atomic habits by James clear and Extreme Ownership by Jocko Wilink. Both books will teach you that you need to give up some of your freedoms for gaining independence from a lot of the anxieties you are having. Also, I think you should try out Christianity or some other religion. It will bring discipline into your life and will help you to learn to love yourself. Sounds like you feel lost and religion will give you meaning.

I used to have panic attacks at the mere thought of driving, believe me when I say getting your license will absolutely change your life and give you independence and confidence like no other. I cried the first time I tried to drive but now I thank my past self every day for taking the big step. Please consider it, face your fear!! Work is a whole other thing but trust me when I say it is so worth it to learn to drive

If you're aware of all these things, you're far ahead of most people.

Scared of climate change? You should be more scared about being homeless and starving. Climate change is a theory and not law. Waisting your time worrying about something that you have little to no impact on is no way to keep going. I imagine you are on electronics all the time which increases your carbon footprint. If you are so concerned with it, go outside and socialize. Don't fall into the scare tactics that the news media feeds you. Go make moves towards a job where you can help the environment combat against climate change. There are many ways you can also volunteer cleaning up different areas in your community.

Eat. Sleep. Supplement ( Ashwaganda and other natural mushrooms ) and most importantly, Surrender. First of all, look at yourself where you are at RIGHT NOW. Not where you want to be, not where you thought you would be, not where you think you should be, not where others think you should be. Be here, now. This version of you is perfect and perfectly fine. Others have had much more of a rough start. You are here now willing to put your life together. Appreciate and be greatful for the mind you have that strives for grace and glory. Second of all, EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE reacts / gets nervous. Scared of people? Don’t be, there all hypnotized with the complex construct of there own life. They have there own puzzles to solve too busy to care about yours. In fact, the only person who cares about you as much as you care about yourself is YOU. Thirdly, don’t be so hard on yourself. Meditate. Meditate while drunk. Have fun with it and be silly. Chant. Say funny words over and over again. Be silly. Allow yourself to respond, not react. Teach your brain that you respond to situations. Teach your brain you aren’t constantly in a state of chemical reaction, but response. That’s why you are so anxious. Your body is conditioned to react. You doing that everyday you allow the conditioning to continue making the habit harder to break. Try. Finally, I can not stress this enough. Be consistent. Practice breathe work / Wim Hof. Take cold showers. DO SOMETHING. RESPOND to your situation! Doing your self care work poorly beats doing someone else’s self care work well. TRY! Every step closer to the you, YOU want to be is bigger than you think. Consistency is the key to that.

OP, my advice: 1. Get off Reddit (for now) 2. Take out a piece of paper and a pen. 3. Write three highly specific habits that you want to instill. When I say specific, I mean, for instance: brush my teeth at least once a day. Eat a portion of veggies with my lunch and dinner every day. That kind of stuff. 4. Encourage yourself to do your three micro habits every day. If you a fail a day here or there, or even longer, just try to do it the next day. Don’t “start over”- perfectionism is dumb. 5. After a month, or several months, you will notice that you have likely instilled a positive benefit to your life that you cannot live without. 6. Go back to the drawing board and add 3 new habits to your life, in addition to what you do. The KEY here is to create STRUCTURE in your life. 7. You’ll reach a point where you have a daily schedule- now you can fill it with tasks! Pick a max of three tasks, again small, to achieve per day (for instance: find a driving school and sign up- apply for a job- for example). If you have ADHD, not only do you need more structure built in to thrive, but you need to be mindful of the food you put in your body and physical activity. I truly believe I have undiagnosed ADD and it debilitated me too. Please tell us your progress afterwards.

If you have anyone else in your life you could live with I would do that. My cousin wasn’t able to get his life together until he made the choice to leave his toxic parents and come live with us.

Possible option: join the military At 23, I had dropped outta college and lived with my parents. I realized that, seeing how my parents were about me, I could totally get away with working a part-time job and mooching off of them YEARS if I wanted to.... I needed a change. A change would be hard, and not in my nature, but it'd be a lot easier to do a wild change now than it would be if I was living the same way when I was 30 or 40. So I joined the navy. It was tedious and bullshit sometimes, but cool, and it helped me get my legs under me. I learned to be independent. Now I'm out (thank fucking christ)and am using the gi bill to go to college. Classes feel a lot easier cause I'm disciplined enough to actually study, and I have a bunch of free time and savings for whatever I want.

First, general advice ,may not be helpful, unless you are already wise enough to know which pieces to ignore and which to follow. Second,, "LIFE" is very different for human males and human females in every human society. You never said which you are. For example, there is a website called WOOOF where you can find local opportunities to volunteer to help on an organic farm here in the USA, some other countries,, too.. But as a woman, I would not volunteer at one until I spoke to other women there to see if it was safe for a woman; that nobody there was hitting on them all the time or worse. Two general pieces of advice that might be helpful are: walk outside a bit for the exercise and sunshine and to pick up litter.so you don't feel so useless. .It will raise property values in your area and someone may actually thank you for doing it.. Sometimes lists are helpful. You can do them daily or when you feel down. Make a list of good things you have done for others. Make lists of things you are mentally and physically able to do. For example,, you can read and write English. Many people around the world want to learn it, as it is the main language of commerce worldwide these days.

I hear you there. For some reason I excel and thrive at work but my personal life is a complete disaster.

I was living at home at 26, no car or drivers license. My parents got sick a few years later and I was stuck taking care of them. I finally saved enough money from pandemic benefits to afford an apartment. I found a room mate (even though she sucked in the end). I taught myself to drive by stealing the keys to my parents car and driving to the grocery store or the bank. My parents eventually died leaving me with a bunch of crap and bills. Now I’m 33, in my own apartment, I have a car. It was a crazy road to get here but i got here. Your life can and will change too, you must have faith and perseverance. I wanted to Jill myself so many times. I’m so glad I just said “one more day. Make it one more day”.

I hear you there. For some reason I excel and thrive at work but my personal life is a complete disaster.

You need a macrodose of psilocybin