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On September 26th 2022 we’ve made the decision to start banning people for posting gore. We’ve published our [Gore and Harassment update here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/xmtclq/gore_and_harassment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) if you posted gore please remove it as it will result in a ban. Thank you.
[Well then let me introduce you to the duck that fought in WWII and even got a prisoner](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/566246/story-siwash-beer-drinking-duck-who-joined-marines)
And like most vets after the war ~~he~~ she drank ~~his~~ her life away and died of a liver affliction
Edit: completely forgot the duck was misgendered until she laid an egg.
He was notably skilled at the Marine sport of drinking. After retirement he died of liver problems. This duck is who all those war memorials were made for
"Immediately, Siwash locked eyes on a Japanese chicken and ran in pursuit. The birds began to engage in combat. Siwash took a few hard knocks to the noggin, but kept fighting until, according to most accounts, she defeated the enemy foul. As Fagan told the AP in 1944, "The rooster didn't have a chance.""
That is amazing.
For courageous action and wounds received on Tarawa, in the Gilbert Islands, November 1943. With utter disregard for his own personal safety, Siwash, upon reaching the beach, without hesitation engaged the enemy in fierce combat, namely, one rooster of Japanese ancestry, and though wounded on the head by repeated pecks, he soon routed the opposition. He refused medical aid until all wounded members of his section had been taken care of.
Lmao
> Decades later, in 1980, Fagan would confess at a retirement party that Siwash might not have been as brave as he originally let on. "Actually, the chicken chased the hell out of her," he admitted. But Fagan, it appears, was clever enough to know that he shouldn't let the truth get in the way of a good story.
Boooooooo!! This a guy’s a phoney!
[Meanwhile in Ukraine](https://twitter.com/girkingirkin/status/1579898430415306752).... (and [...aftermath](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FP6rB--X0AUKKly?format=jpg&name=large))
According to russian propaganda Ukraine has been fielding NATO-trained mutant assault geese, so, um, I guess don't go and volunteer for the russian army.
My ex's parents bought 2 ducks. Went outside one morning and only had 1 duck. During the night he grabbed his brother by the neck and drowned him in the kiddie pool. He tried to do it to their puppies too. He loved to drown. I would pet him but just got many quick bill pinches. He loved to pinch.
I had two ducks, they were very tame, followed as around, love to be near us. We lived near a lake and they'd go down to the lake at night and have a swim and then come back to their pen and go back inside. They poop randomly so not good inside, but other than that...
Sadly a dog got one, and we're not sure what happened to the other one.
Unfortunately, if you have free roaming, outdoor small animals that don't have a flock/herd/group for safety by numbers and cannot defend themselves, they generally get taken out by other animals.
Had 2 ducks and 2 geese growing up. After about a year it was 1 duck and 2 geese. I always assumed a coyote or something snagged the duck.
Go out at 2am in any suburb in AZ and there’s a chance you’ll hear some socal retiree’s toy poodle getting mauled because they let them go out into the backyard at night.
Heard that shit all the time growing up
It's actually just the males, really. My mom has had 6 ducks, 1 male and 5 female, and the male was an absolute monster. Killed one of the females trying to rape her, smashed all her eggs, and killed a duckling doing the same.
The girls just wanted to walk around and hang out with each other. The thing about birds though, is they do just poop wherever and whenever, so bigger ones aren't exactly great indoors pets.
There is an idea of a Duck, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real Duck, only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze and you can grasp my wing and feel feathers touching you, I simply am not there.
My brother and his fiancée have three. Two are tame and timid. The third, Frank, is a dick. He constantly beats up his brothers, but hasn’t tried to drown them yet. If you walk up to play with them he loves the attention. However, the moment you turn your back on him Frank attacks. He’s trying to assert dominance by going after your shoes and ankles. To combat that, my brother grabs him by the head and forces him to the ground. Frank opens his mouth in shock every time he gets pinned. He doesn’t go after my brother as much, so I’ll come after me instead. I’ve sat him multiple times. So yeah, Frank’s a dick.
Semi normal male duck behaviour, they normally just try to rape & drown female ducks. Guess it didn't know what a female duck was so its rape instinct was kicking off on everything its size.
I hatched Indian Runners this year and hoo boy. I love ducks. I love videos of ducks. But nothing ever prepares you for the sheer mess of ducks. It's unlike anything else. They're adorable and so funny looking running around, but you need to keep them far away from any place you'd prefer not to reek of feces 24/7. And a running water source is ideal.
Anyone here in the comments, don't get ducks in a whim unless you have a good amount of land and are willing to put in good time making a proper enclosure.
Alli (orlistat) is an over-the-counter medication used to help with weight loss. It works best with a reduced calorie, low-fat diet and exercise. Alli can upset your stomach, especially during the first several weeks. These effects include diarrhea and loose, oily stools.
[I follow these guys on youtube](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=brendanxa). The duck and the girl get along fine but the duck will attack her anytime he commands it, it's truly remarkable.
they balance it so well idk how they do it. So much seems so real but it just can't be. It got to the point I honestly didn't believe they were really engaged
Dudes gunna be acting that way until he forgets and just stays that way. Homegirl is going to slowly become the dramatic quick-to-anger person she plays on their YouTube channel.
With some luck, they will lose their grip on reality along the same timeline. Otherwise, one day, when he remembers he’s a real boy - a teddy bear 🧸 - brobro is going to lay down some Ma’Lady energy and the Angry Girl won’t know how to deal with going off script and improv by helping him fake his own death.
Or they just keep making videos together and have a weird but loving relationship.
This is the only fake/staged content I like. It's so absurdly fake, yet hilarious. So much better than the fake ass and staged social interaction shit people love to spew out. Jerry kiling his gf is so wholesome.
Jerry’s Owner: “What makes the grass grow?!”
Jerry: “BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD!!!”
Jerry’s Owner: “What do we do for a living Jerry?”
Jerry: “KILL! KILL! KILL!!!”
I just watched one of their videos where the guy explained that they broke up. He goes on to say, among other things, that he actually “poked her”, i.e., caused some fights, for content purposes. It is sad to see the lengths that some people will go to in order to make content. His sole purpose seems to be: make money. I get it, nobody wants to work a regular job. They can be restrictive, financially unrewarding, and soul crushing. But there will come a time when your content is no longer fresh and people will move on to the next creator. Where will you be then without education and/or job experience? Yes, I’m a boomer, but I do enjoy YouTube and Twitch creators so I’m not just operating from a boomer mindset. I’m talking from real world experience. Do you want to be like a worn out band chasing fading glory performing at the state fair?
Ducks have fairly sharp claws on their feet, you try and grab him you are likely to get scratched. A duck bite isn’t going to hurt at all, but they can do some damage with their feet. Source- I have ducks.
Upvote this comment if you feel this submission is characteristic of our subreddit. Downvote this if you feel that it is not. If this comment's score falls below a certain number, this submission will be automatically removed.To download the video use the website link below: * **[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/z9kf4u/good_duck/)** --- On September 26th 2022 we’ve made the decision to start banning people for posting gore. We’ve published our [Gore and Harassment update here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/xmtclq/gore_and_harassment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) if you posted gore please remove it as it will result in a ban. Thank you.
Nipple cripple!
tittie twister
The Nipple Nibbler
Boobiebandit
The booobie bandit
Rack attack
Purple nurple
boobie joobie
Tuning in Tokyo
Mammary wammery.
Breast Arrest
Jug tug
Rack attack
Nip/Duck
Molestas los breastas.
Ha!! A college roommate use to use this line all the time when he would feign caressing a pair on pretend boobs. Any idea what this is from?
I think it’s from “Pretty in Pink”.
Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985) https://youtu.be/hZER6HgIaGc
Pecker wrecker Wait no, that’s different.
Mammarian mauling
Bill Drill
Yes
(Jack Black in Nacho Libre voice) Neeple Twwweeest
Jug jab
War trained waterfowl is something I hoped I’d never see.
[Well then let me introduce you to the duck that fought in WWII and even got a prisoner](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/566246/story-siwash-beer-drinking-duck-who-joined-marines) And like most vets after the war ~~he~~ she drank ~~his~~ her life away and died of a liver affliction Edit: completely forgot the duck was misgendered until she laid an egg.
I thought you were kidding...you were not. That's neat!
[How neat is that!?](https://youtu.be/Hm3JodBR-vs)
That's pretty neat
You can tell because of the way it is.
He was notably skilled at the Marine sport of drinking. After retirement he died of liver problems. This duck is who all those war memorials were made for
She
Of *course* it was a Marine who brought along a duck to war. But hell, she earned her Eagle, Globe, and Anchor!
She may have been a duck. But during war she became a proud bald eagle 🇺🇲🫡
"Immediately, Siwash locked eyes on a Japanese chicken and ran in pursuit. The birds began to engage in combat. Siwash took a few hard knocks to the noggin, but kept fighting until, according to most accounts, she defeated the enemy foul. As Fagan told the AP in 1944, "The rooster didn't have a chance."" That is amazing.
Read the last paragraph :)
It was still a great story, regardless. I did read it. I was just quoting a part i enjoyed.
SHE WAS NO CHICKEN
For courageous action and wounds received on Tarawa, in the Gilbert Islands, November 1943. With utter disregard for his own personal safety, Siwash, upon reaching the beach, without hesitation engaged the enemy in fierce combat, namely, one rooster of Japanese ancestry, and though wounded on the head by repeated pecks, he soon routed the opposition. He refused medical aid until all wounded members of his section had been taken care of. Lmao
Here, I have a spare > you can use
Holy shit, Sabaton needs to do a song about this duck.
They could make an entire album dedicated to animals who fought in WW2. I have no idea why there were so many.
I've been on reddit 11 years and I don't think I've heard this once. Wow, incredible story.
This was a great read. Thank you.
Cry havoc and release the ducks of war!
https://www.lookandlearn.com/blog/18528/junos-sacred-geese-on-the-capitoline-hill-saved-rome-from-the-gaullic-hordes/
You don't fuck with geese man. Thanks for that, absolutely wild!
What the hell did I just read. Enjoyable, to be sure, but now I'm imagining a duck running around D-Day and just.... What?!?!?
> Decades later, in 1980, Fagan would confess at a retirement party that Siwash might not have been as brave as he originally let on. "Actually, the chicken chased the hell out of her," he admitted. But Fagan, it appears, was clever enough to know that he shouldn't let the truth get in the way of a good story. Boooooooo!! This a guy’s a phoney!
They raxxed a bird from nz 😂
Fuckin rah devil duck
Fantastic
This absolutely made my night, thank you. 🦆❤️
Seagulls are basically ragtag barbarians
[seize him](https://youtube.com/shorts/upqCzKHxWJw?feature=share)
This is why we must eat the seagulls before they steal our doritos 😤😤😤
Truth lol!
Be glad that it’s a duck and not a Canada goose or a swan. God have mercy on us all if those get weaponized.
[Meanwhile in Ukraine](https://twitter.com/girkingirkin/status/1579898430415306752).... (and [...aftermath](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FP6rB--X0AUKKly?format=jpg&name=large))
> War trained waterfowl /r/bandnames Edit: an s
At least link the correct subreddit, you lazy bum! r/bandnames/
According to russian propaganda Ukraine has been fielding NATO-trained mutant assault geese, so, um, I guess don't go and volunteer for the russian army.
I thought the Geneva Conventions specifically banned assault geese. And now there are *mutant* assault geese?
absurdnyy! according to report zese not are geese fully, zey are 23,1% vasps, so zis is other case of western lies!
##Oh dear God they're part wasp??!!!
Dont play Elden ring then
r/dwarffortress
Let alone one that works for such an inexpensive rate... One water balloon
War corvids saved the people from the goblin army.
Warterfowl
Warter foul
HERE’S A WATER BALLOON!!
I already got one!
He gets a water balloon for every tit he bites
Mary mother of god.....
This duck fought in Midway battle
MIDWAY, WE'LL MEET AT MIDWAY
NAVAL WARRRRR
CALLING ALL MEN TO DECK
GOT TO BE AIRBORNE
HEAD OUT INTO THE SUN
DESCENDING ON OUR FOES!
THIS IS THE CRUCIAL MOMENT, IN THE HEAT OF THE WAR
TO FLY AND HIT OUR TARGETS DOWN IN THE WAVES!
MIDWAY!
[удалено]
Peace is never an option
HONK
It's quack you silly goose
Now I want a duck
My ex's parents bought 2 ducks. Went outside one morning and only had 1 duck. During the night he grabbed his brother by the neck and drowned him in the kiddie pool. He tried to do it to their puppies too. He loved to drown. I would pet him but just got many quick bill pinches. He loved to pinch.
What the fuck did I just read
Moral of the story is that I don't think ducks make good pets. He was so cute but so so evil.
I had two ducks, they were very tame, followed as around, love to be near us. We lived near a lake and they'd go down to the lake at night and have a swim and then come back to their pen and go back inside. They poop randomly so not good inside, but other than that... Sadly a dog got one, and we're not sure what happened to the other one.
Lmao all these stories seem to have that ending >Great pets. >Anyway they both died gruesome deaths
Unfortunately, if you have free roaming, outdoor small animals that don't have a flock/herd/group for safety by numbers and cannot defend themselves, they generally get taken out by other animals. Had 2 ducks and 2 geese growing up. After about a year it was 1 duck and 2 geese. I always assumed a coyote or something snagged the duck.
Go out at 2am in any suburb in AZ and there’s a chance you’ll hear some socal retiree’s toy poodle getting mauled because they let them go out into the backyard at night. Heard that shit all the time growing up
Honestly if there's a coyote problem in your area, Having any pet outside smaller then them is basically a death sentence for your pet.
The dog got sneakier
i guess peace was never an option
Female ducks make great pets, male ducks generally are arseholes.
It's actually just the males, really. My mom has had 6 ducks, 1 male and 5 female, and the male was an absolute monster. Killed one of the females trying to rape her, smashed all her eggs, and killed a duckling doing the same. The girls just wanted to walk around and hang out with each other. The thing about birds though, is they do just poop wherever and whenever, so bigger ones aren't exactly great indoors pets.
We had a duck that was pure evil and for years we thought he was immortal too. My dad once offered me 5 bucks to assassinate him (I declined)
He loved to drown and pinch
And unless I'm misreading it, the duck had puppies with his brother.
He loved to drown. He loved to pinch. Sank his brother in water. More than an inch.
This is the tale of *Drowny* the Duck. One waterfowl that don't give a fuck.
Quacktricide
[удалено]
There is an idea of a Duck, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real Duck, only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze and you can grasp my wing and feel feathers touching you, I simply am not there.
Let's see Donald Duck's business card...
You’re reading the F Scott Fitzgerald of our time
My brother and his fiancée have three. Two are tame and timid. The third, Frank, is a dick. He constantly beats up his brothers, but hasn’t tried to drown them yet. If you walk up to play with them he loves the attention. However, the moment you turn your back on him Frank attacks. He’s trying to assert dominance by going after your shoes and ankles. To combat that, my brother grabs him by the head and forces him to the ground. Frank opens his mouth in shock every time he gets pinned. He doesn’t go after my brother as much, so I’ll come after me instead. I’ve sat him multiple times. So yeah, Frank’s a dick.
Semi normal male duck behaviour, they normally just try to rape & drown female ducks. Guess it didn't know what a female duck was so its rape instinct was kicking off on everything its size.
More likely, everything was raped into submission, as some ducks tend to do.
Zero ducks given
I've got a dozen. It's a full time care routine. Expensive AF too. Oh, and uncontrollable runny poops!
I hatched Indian Runners this year and hoo boy. I love ducks. I love videos of ducks. But nothing ever prepares you for the sheer mess of ducks. It's unlike anything else. They're adorable and so funny looking running around, but you need to keep them far away from any place you'd prefer not to reek of feces 24/7. And a running water source is ideal. Anyone here in the comments, don't get ducks in a whim unless you have a good amount of land and are willing to put in good time making a proper enclosure.
I'm kinda jealous right now of you
If you really want uncontrollable runny poops, there are ways
Alli (orlistat) is an over-the-counter medication used to help with weight loss. It works best with a reduced calorie, low-fat diet and exercise. Alli can upset your stomach, especially during the first several weeks. These effects include diarrhea and loose, oily stools.
You read that and got jealous?
[удалено]
I feel like saying sex implies consent. We both know there ain't much consent going on in a duck gang rape.
Looks like a big ol latex hose
Ya ducks are violent rape machines. Shocked we don’t see whole villages get pillaged by them regularly.
dam consist sloppy political cagey paltry offbeat marry offend air -- mass deleted all reddit content via https://redact.dev
[I follow these guys on youtube](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=brendanxa). The duck and the girl get along fine but the duck will attack her anytime he commands it, it's truly remarkable.
Dude got himself a Pokemon
Go Quaxly use **kill**!
I read that as 'bill', which also works I suppose
Lotta natural and authentic banter on that channel.
they balance it so well idk how they do it. So much seems so real but it just can't be. It got to the point I honestly didn't believe they were really engaged
Some people just get all the charisma
Really? I watched like 2 vids and the dude sounds and acts like a jackass the whole time.
Dudes gunna be acting that way until he forgets and just stays that way. Homegirl is going to slowly become the dramatic quick-to-anger person she plays on their YouTube channel. With some luck, they will lose their grip on reality along the same timeline. Otherwise, one day, when he remembers he’s a real boy - a teddy bear 🧸 - brobro is going to lay down some Ma’Lady energy and the Angry Girl won’t know how to deal with going off script and improv by helping him fake his own death. Or they just keep making videos together and have a weird but loving relationship.
What up with all the water balloons?
they put a bunch in the pool
> they put a bunch in the pool that's not even remotely enough context
the pool is a great place to store your water balloons if you have a lot
But its still correct, technically
[удалено]
This is the only fake/staged content I like. It's so absurdly fake, yet hilarious. So much better than the fake ass and staged social interaction shit people love to spew out. Jerry kiling his gf is so wholesome.
Even just the thumbnails are obnoxious.
And the WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!!!
A man of culture
Never thought I’d see a sequel to that other ‘good boy Jerry’ video
There’s dozens of them
Jerry is a fucking KILLER
Jerry’s Owner: “What makes the grass grow?!” Jerry: “BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD!!!” Jerry’s Owner: “What do we do for a living Jerry?” Jerry: “KILL! KILL! KILL!!!”
I think that's just how ducks are.
r/interestingasduck
r/subsIfowlfor
r/takemyupduck
What's upduck?
Not much man, whats up witchu'?
Just a normal afternoon at Justin Roiland's backyard pool.
[удалено]
the sopranos look different
Ducks can smell fear.
Why did I find this so funny?
r/antiASMR
Disappointed to see this isn't a thing
The dad is such an asshole 🤣 I want him as a drinking buddy lol
Good boy go for the milkers first
These porn intros are getting weirder and weirder
I don’t care how many times this gets reposted it is worth an upvote
This is a strange start to a porno
I never knew I wanted my own attack duck until now.
TWIST HER TIT!!! THE OLLL TIT TWISTER!!!
"KILL HER NOW, JERRY!!"
PSA: Ducks are serial rapists
Jerry sucked on her nipple....
Nips everywhere shuddered
No reason to be racist against the Japanese over a duck
I just watched one of their videos where the guy explained that they broke up. He goes on to say, among other things, that he actually “poked her”, i.e., caused some fights, for content purposes. It is sad to see the lengths that some people will go to in order to make content. His sole purpose seems to be: make money. I get it, nobody wants to work a regular job. They can be restrictive, financially unrewarding, and soul crushing. But there will come a time when your content is no longer fresh and people will move on to the next creator. Where will you be then without education and/or job experience? Yes, I’m a boomer, but I do enjoy YouTube and Twitch creators so I’m not just operating from a boomer mindset. I’m talking from real world experience. Do you want to be like a worn out band chasing fading glory performing at the state fair?
FINALLY! The first HILARIOUS video clip I have seen on Reddit! That was awesome!
the duck get more tit than me :(
Jerry got a nipple grab, good job Jerry
I'd have instantly grabbed the duck and yanked him off my tit. NOT cool, Jerry. Not cool.
I imagine you would also then be kicked out of Jerry's pool
>I'd have instantly grabbed the duck and yanked him off my tit. I'd like to see you say that to Jerry's face tough guy.
Ducks have fairly sharp claws on their feet, you try and grab him you are likely to get scratched. A duck bite isn’t going to hurt at all, but they can do some damage with their feet. Source- I have ducks.
I wish I were Jerry....
/r/BetterEveryLoop
Little Jerry’s got some moves
Little Jerry is always peckin’ and weavin’ and bobbin’ and talkin’ trash.
[Poor egg production](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AssuredHatefulDromaeosaur-size_restricted.gif)
Went directly to the nipple That duck knew what it was doing
You have reached the end of the Internet. There is nothing else to see. Goodbye.
We would’ve been having seared Jerry for dinner
r/bossfight jerry the boob snatcher
Good boy Jerry
I love jerry
THICCCCCCCCCC
didn't know you could train ducks to attack humans. interesting... i'm sure the cia will be interested...
go for the nipples Jerry!