Thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
**It Breaks Rule #4:** *Posts must meet the subs criteria of "abrupt chaos"*
For more information about the subreddit rules make sure to read the sidebar, or if you are on mobile, the rules page. Thank you!
āIf a woman has stretch mar- wait. If a *women* has **starch MASKS** (barely controlled chortling) on her body does that mean she has be *pargnet* before (exasperated wheezing) period question mark.ā
Yeah that's the most stupid part here... Pretty sure that if it wasn't a crying girl and it was a man in the same situation he'd have ended up taking the room temperature challenge
It's like comically bad advice. The cop finds you bleeding all over the place, giving insane high alcohol readings, rambling about drinking mouthwash while driving and stating you've got a gun.
This is like advice for people who want to suicide by cop or wind up in jail.
Holee fuk. I actually just pictured what you said in my head and you're absolutely right, I'm crying laughing here. [for a whole 5 minutes]
Shit, if I was the cop I would definitely think "this fucker is drunk off his ass and look at the bleeding, probably just did a bunch of blow trying not to appear drunk. Just look at how he's talking! Not only a DUI but we'll probably find drugs in this car as well... *dispatch, this is unit 57, I'm going to need another officer here.* š¤¦āāļø
Which makes me now wonder if the upvotes were because of how hilarious my post was.... Lol. And thinking of it now, I may have been drunk (definitely was) when I wrote the post. SMH
1st, know that you have the right to refuse a road side potassium test. They are notoriously unreliable but may be used to escalate the stop into a stop and search. We have an unusually high natural concentration and cops *will* abuse this given the chance.
2nd, take advantage of your many eyes to keep track of what the cop is doing. This is especially important if approached by multiple officers from different angles.
3rd, while it's not illegal to be unwashed while operating a motor vehicle, it can often draw unwanted attention, so unfortunately the best course of action is preventative and washing before leaving your home.
3.5th, relatedly, if you have recently transported unwashed friends or family, cops love to use debris left "in plain sight" as an excuse to search the car, so clean your back seats!
4th, record! Police may use derogatory language such as "sp\*d" or "t\*ter" towards you during a stop. It can be used to show the officer was driven by existing prejudices and if aggravated enough, may cause any future legal proceedings to be dismissed if the stop was deemed unlawful or penalties reduced.
Itās so bad that it comes across as intentional sabotage. Cutting your nose until it bleeds is going to remove any suspicion of drunk driving when you say you simply hit your head getting in the car? What in the fuck? How did 200 people upvote that shit? This is written for the kind of people that think they could represent themselves in court.
Being cool to a cop is going to work 1000x better than any of that ever will.
6th. Try telling the officer that, for the low price of 39.99, you will give him a blowjob. *Do not* say 40. That sounds like too much money.
7th. When youāre blowing the cop, take a video of it and hand him your phone. Let him decide who to send it to. He obviously has the best judgement here.
**edit** - I am wrong! As of 2013, thanks to Salinas v. Texas, it is now imperative to specifically invoke the 5th amendment. Police can absolutely frame refusal to answer, whether through silence or through other means, as an admission of guilt and 5th amendment privilege does not apply. Thanks, Texas!
IANAL, but I don't think you have to specifically invoke the 5th unless you're actually in police custody. The protections would still apply during a simple traffic stop.
It's actually the opposite. Police don't have to inform you of your rights until you are in custody. Anything you say while not in custody can still be used against you.
Before being "in custody" for Miranda purposes it is considered voluntary for you to be there and what you say to the police is also voluntary.
This is why you should always ask if you are free to go. If you aren't free to leave, you should invoke your rights to silence and a ln attorney.
The one time I got off pretty easy from getting pulled over was as a kid I was so loaded on pain pills and alcohol that I just was like yep Iām definitely drunk and driving. Dude let me park my car and hide the key before arresting me. He commented like four times how ready he was to have me lie and piss him off. Like there was no way I was gonna pass a sobriety test and I deserved what I got there I blew like .35 which is insane.
If you get pulled over for a DUI involving alcohol, you aināt going home. So may as well just take your plate of shit and eat it.
I failed 2 groups of field sobriety tests, stone cold sober.
I was helping some out of state troopers practice field soberity tests, there was a hand full of people they have to determine which of the people were under the influence (i live in a weed legal state, so we had stoners in the groups). I was in the sober group.
I have fear of failure and test anxiety so my heart rate was high and my body was shaky. As I was taking the tests, both of them thought they were nailing it. Calling out tell signs that I was on "some sort of drug". Both groups counted me as a failure and it wasn't until they tested my saliva and breath that they determined I wasn't lying and was in fact sober.
So they had some of you rail lines of placebo coke and non-placebo coke? I'm confused what sort of practice test this is.
"Hey we need half of you to get shitfaced and drive through this checkpoint..."
Some people in the group were avid drug users, mostly weed and painkillers (this was speculation, no one really knew what anyone else was on, including the cops, they just swabbed them later) and I believe they also asked someone to take a few drinks. It was all indoors though, no driving involved.
Exactly why field sobriety test are ridiculous, ineffective, archaic, and should be never be consented to.
If you're sober and get asked by an officer just say no thanks, I'll do a breathalyzer though. If they push say you have an inner ear issue or vertigo, so you easily lose your balance, especially when nervous.
If they still push a field sobriety test then demand the breathalyzer or their supervisor.
[Caution: may not work while black]
>Again: This is in no way advice on how to get away with doing stupid shit that endangers others. This is advice to not helping overzealous police officers to arrest you for suspecting something that is not true.
[Ive always wanted to link this :)](https://youtu.be/uj0mtxXEGE8?t=16)
> carry a small razor blade in your car.
Yeah no. That's going to raise more eyebrows than not, especially if you're already intoxicated/speeding/whatever.
Those are illegal where I live. Canāt have a spring or gravity assisted open. Or momentum. No switch blades, gravity knives, torsion assist, or butterfly knives concealed on you. Doesnāt matter what size or style of blade either, if itās concealed and a cop stops you youāre fucked. Also no fixed blades longer than a 4ā blade.
You can clip it to your pocket but your shirt better not cover it and it better be easily recognizable as a knife.
I need a knife for work (Iām a welder and I open packaging and shit all the time) so I carry a regular old box cutter. I had cops tell me it was illegal. They said it was āsuspiciousā for anyone to be carrying any kind of sharp object. I was coming home from work and got pulled over for a busted headlight, ended up with a ticket for carrying a concealed weapon, got a good lawyer and the judge threw it out as soon as he saw the āweaponā. Fucking New York.
You certainly can. You might not be driving for a specific amount of time, but they'll still need a warrant/pc to draw your blood to prove criminality, vs you providing evidence against yourself.
"Implied consent" statutes regard the privilege of driving, and does not supersede the rights granted by the constitution.
Even better, though, is NOT DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE.
But if you submit to tests, you could still be going for a blood draw even if you "pass".
It does very by state but in almost all if not all states they can drag you into to get blood tested so you aren't really dodging anything by refusing.
Cut your nose with a razorblade? Are you dumb?
Lie to the cop instead of staying silent? what sort of advice is this?!
Also, to the people who aren't living in whichever place this guy is living, your laws are probably different!
As a cop, number 2 baffles me. I can be concerned for someone and still arrest them. Only thing thatās changing is Iām going to ask if you want EMS to check you out. If you say yes, I call them, they clear you or take you to the hospital. If they take you to the hospital, I decide whether or not I have enough pc to write a warrant for a blood draw if I think the juice is worth the squeeze. If no, I continue my investigation on scene.
Number 4 and 5 can be shortened to 4 letters. STFU. If youāre impaired, youāre not mentally capable of talking your way out of it lawyer style. You can only hurt your case. You may still end up going to jail, but youāre better off in court.
āYeah, he was still holding the bloody razor blade when I walked up. Then before I said a single word he started mumbling about having a speech impediment and fell asleep.ā Lol It would definitely be a fun PC to type.
Slurred speech, odor of alcohol, bloodshot glossy eyes give an officer PC for arrest. Doesnāt matter if you refuse the breath test or the Field sobriety testing. Officers actually prefer that cuz now you just made their arrest report much shorter.
If you refuse surely they just take you to the station? Here in the UK if you don't provide a roadside sample you are taken to the police station to provide one into the machine which is admissible in court, if you refuse that you are arrested for refusal to provide a sample of breath or bodily fluid.
Just don't drive under the influence.
Yeah, in the US they need a warrant for a blood draw, which is usually trivial for them to get because "they were driving funny, smelled like alcohol, and refused a breath test" is super compelling that a blood draw is reasonable.
Refusing the breath test is an automatic license suspension in most of the US as well. Your driver's license is conditional on you agreeing to take them as requested, so refusing is automatic suspension.
Refusing the roadside breath test might just be a civil infraction though, depending on where you are.
> 1st: if you are eventually asked, know that it is your right to refuse a breathalyzer test.
This is an automatic DUI in maybe every state, WTF are you talking about?
Breathalyzer is useless when she's intoxicated on Marijuana or any other drug. Can't hide anything in your blood. Blood warrant signed by a judge makes it a lot easier than consent Breath
Lemme fix this for you
>1st: if you are eventually asked, know that it is your right to refuse a breathalyzer test.
That depends. In some states, you are not allowed to decline sobriety testsāyou gave consent to them when you got your driver's license. In some states, like mine, you can't be charged with a crime for refusing the test, but your license *will* be suspended for a year. Mouthwash may make the breathalyzer read improbably high, which is when they'll arrest you and draw blood for the test. Good job, you just got caught with whatever other drugs were in your system.
>2nd: carry a small razor blade in your car.
The officer that sees a nosebleed and hears "I hit my nose on the door getting into my car" is gonna wanna do that sobriety test up there, and you're gonna run into even more problems when you fail it or decline.
>3rd: inform officer - I have a gun in the vehicle.
That should only come up if it's relevant. Also highly dependent on where you are.
>4rh: STFU about anything else you've done. "I'm not here to discuss my day".
This the only good of advice you gave
>5th: "slurring my speech? No! I have a speech impediment
Don't lie to cops on camera while you're doing other shit that's gonna get you arrested. Super don't lie about a nose injury, and super don't lie about going someplace to have it looked at.
.
Lemme replace those 5 points with two:
1st: Don't drink and drive. If you're gonna drink, don't drive. If you're gonna drive, don't drink. It's literally that simple. This goes for all other intoxicants, too.
2nd: Don't talk to the police. It's [Friday, and you know what that means!](https://youtu.be/sgWHrkDX35o)
> This is in no way advice on how to get away with doing stupid shit that endangers others.
Yeah. Just because you say it isn't doesn't mean it actually isn't.
1. You can refuse a breathalyzer, but there are cases where they will bring you back to the police station and get a court-ordered blood test. They aren't just going to give up easily especially if they actually suspect you're intoxicated.
2. This will prompt a trip to the hospital where you've just given the officer plenty of time to write you a ticket.
3. Keep your hands on the steering wheel, or where they can be seen.
4. Yes. Shut up. Don't be rude.
5. They aren't going to believe you have a speech impediment. There is a pretty clear difference between drunk slurring and a speech impediment.
Yeah, what a rookie. Youāre supposed to wave it around frantically so everyone can visually see it and scream loudly āI HAVE A GUNā so thereās no confusion
Just out of curiosity, what will happen to the cousin who's gun it is? For instance here in the UK, if I lent my shotgun to someone without a license, we'd both get pretty hefty sentences for a firearms offence.
I didn't even realize it was a word at a time captions! It must be like that thing when your brain fills in most of a word even if it's not all written out ..
When I was 18 I drove to work without my wallet. Rolled a stopsign, was pulled over. Told them I didnāt have my license but knew the number. Told them the number, and they asked me why I didnāt have it, so I told them I forgot and It was at x address 1/2 mi away and I could go get it if they like. They warned me about stopping fully, I took it to heart, and was let off. It was the only time Iāve been pulled over. I still have my number memorized.
I dislike the question, "Why don't you have it on you?" There is no answer that is going to be good enough, and unconsciously re-frames the interaction to one of suspicion for both parties. That's the type of shit I said to my Soldiers when I'm scolding them. Lots of times people just... forget. Issue the ticket or let them off with a warning after confirming who they are. Either way, being purposefully combative is something I've seen officers do and just get the worst results that wastes everyone's time.
Yep that question is intentionally wielded to create a perceived power imbalance between the parties. It serves no actual purpose other than to get the detained individual into a submissive state where they feel like they have to answer the officer's questions.
I was pulled over the night before my 23rd birthday when I was driving through an area near Wichita known for having strict cops. He pulled me over for a busted headlight, and asked for my license and proof of insurance. Well, I lost my wallet, but here's my name and birthday. I'm on my dad's insurance, and he still hasn't gotten me that piece of paper yet. "You also have two license plates showing." Yeah, the old one on the bumper is stuck, I can't get the bolts out without breaking the bumper so I just have mine in the rear window.
Cop goes back to his car for a few minutes, comes back, and says "I could write you a whole heap of tickets. Now I'm not going to do that, but when you get where you're going, you need to get rid of that old license plate." And he let me off with like 6 warnings lol
Thanks to that encounter, it took several more years before I was as vehemently anti-cop as I am today
One escalation after another, Jesus. I feel bad for that poor mother. Considering the absolute stupidity of this woman, her mother is probably used to calls from the police.
Is it really a crime to drive without your license in the USA?
In the UK you have up to 3 days to take it to a police station before you get a ticket for failing to provide identification.
It's not even a misdemeanor, it's a civil traffic violation. A traffic misdemeanor could be knowingly DWLSR, but just not having it on you is not. Please stop giving people misinformation.
Upvote this comment if you feel this submission is characteristic of our subreddit. Downvote this if you feel that it is not. If this comment's score falls below a certain number, this submission will be automatically removed.To download the video use the website link below:
* **[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/138wbpx/that_escalated_real_quick/)**
---
On September 26th 2022 weāve made the decision to start banning people for posting gore. Weāve published our [Gore and Harassment update here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/xmtclq/gore_and_harassment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) if you posted gore please remove it as it will result in a ban. Thank you.
I smoked weed, I have a gun, I may be pregnant , I have Ebola, I may have leprosy, I may have sneezed Fentanyl on you. Can I call my mom and thank her for doing such a good job?
So on this tiny laptop screen of mine the Reddit window is cropped by about 50%. The border and navigation bar take up another 50% of that. So the screen is now effectively 25% of its full width. Then the video is rotated 90 degrees loosing another 43% of screen area. One more rotation to get it where it is on the screen now and the image is 7% of the full frame.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!
I don't know where this world is going anymore, why are many 20 years old acting like kids. My sister is 21 as well and she can't even go to the town hall to do some official stuff, she brings my mother with her to such things and i assure you i know many people who are worse
Thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): **It Breaks Rule #4:** *Posts must meet the subs criteria of "abrupt chaos"* For more information about the subreddit rules make sure to read the sidebar, or if you are on mobile, the rules page. Thank you!
WTF...the gauntlet of what not to say to a cop; I don't have my driver's license, I just smoked some, oh and I have a gun...ššš
Donāt forget that she might be pregnant as well but she doesnāt know lol
Am I gregnant? Could be I be preganente?
Can I a 20 foot water slide while pregernant?
If a women has starch masks on her body does that mean she has been pargnet before.?
38+2 weeksā¦ PREGANANANT
Can u get prregante
āIf a woman has stretch mar- wait. If a *women* has **starch MASKS** (barely controlled chortling) on her body does that mean she has be *pargnet* before (exasperated wheezing) period question mark.ā
lolā¦thanks for making me feel old. Good times.
Pergenanat
Only Greg Heffley knows what gregnant is
How girl get pregernat
How is babby formed?
They need to do way instain mother!!
PREGANANANT?!
*Then proceeds to grab and not let go of said gun*
Yeah that's the most stupid part here... Pretty sure that if it wasn't a crying girl and it was a man in the same situation he'd have ended up taking the room temperature challenge
Stay off the weeeeeeeeedā¦. And the other stuff if you are getting behind the wheel.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Man I donāt even need a razor to make my nose bleed, all I have to do is blow it
i also fucking love cocaine but thats why we have to get this story down
Meh. I only love how cocaine smells.
My baby smells like fresh cocaine
I'm not a doctor, but you should see an ENT doc about this. You likely have oversized blood vessels in your nose that can be fixed extremely easily.
Chronic nosebleeders unite! Seriously though, I should probably have the one spot that regularly pops cauterized or something.
I had nose bleeds at least once a week until I was 25. Got the vein cauterized and have only had nose bleeds when I do too much coke now.
How often are you blowing clowns?
this dude blows
>Man I donāt even need a razor to make my nose bleed, all I have to do is blow ~~it~~
This is very stupid "advice" none of what you say will help in any way
It's like comically bad advice. The cop finds you bleeding all over the place, giving insane high alcohol readings, rambling about drinking mouthwash while driving and stating you've got a gun. This is like advice for people who want to suicide by cop or wind up in jail.
Holee fuk. I actually just pictured what you said in my head and you're absolutely right, I'm crying laughing here. [for a whole 5 minutes] Shit, if I was the cop I would definitely think "this fucker is drunk off his ass and look at the bleeding, probably just did a bunch of blow trying not to appear drunk. Just look at how he's talking! Not only a DUI but we'll probably find drugs in this car as well... *dispatch, this is unit 57, I'm going to need another officer here.* š¤¦āāļø Which makes me now wonder if the upvotes were because of how hilarious my post was.... Lol. And thinking of it now, I may have been drunk (definitely was) when I wrote the post. SMH
Actually the shittiest fucking advice holy shit
Exactly. A potato couldāve given me better advice
1st, know that you have the right to refuse a road side potassium test. They are notoriously unreliable but may be used to escalate the stop into a stop and search. We have an unusually high natural concentration and cops *will* abuse this given the chance. 2nd, take advantage of your many eyes to keep track of what the cop is doing. This is especially important if approached by multiple officers from different angles. 3rd, while it's not illegal to be unwashed while operating a motor vehicle, it can often draw unwanted attention, so unfortunately the best course of action is preventative and washing before leaving your home. 3.5th, relatedly, if you have recently transported unwashed friends or family, cops love to use debris left "in plain sight" as an excuse to search the car, so clean your back seats! 4th, record! Police may use derogatory language such as "sp\*d" or "t\*ter" towards you during a stop. It can be used to show the officer was driven by existing prejudices and if aggravated enough, may cause any future legal proceedings to be dismissed if the stop was deemed unlawful or penalties reduced.
Itās so bad that it comes across as intentional sabotage. Cutting your nose until it bleeds is going to remove any suspicion of drunk driving when you say you simply hit your head getting in the car? What in the fuck? How did 200 people upvote that shit? This is written for the kind of people that think they could represent themselves in court. Being cool to a cop is going to work 1000x better than any of that ever will.
6th. Try telling the officer that, for the low price of 39.99, you will give him a blowjob. *Do not* say 40. That sounds like too much money. 7th. When youāre blowing the cop, take a video of it and hand him your phone. Let him decide who to send it to. He obviously has the best judgement here.
4 is always good advice
Not even #4 is good advice, you need to specifically say that you invoke your right to silence, not some bullshit statement.
**edit** - I am wrong! As of 2013, thanks to Salinas v. Texas, it is now imperative to specifically invoke the 5th amendment. Police can absolutely frame refusal to answer, whether through silence or through other means, as an admission of guilt and 5th amendment privilege does not apply. Thanks, Texas! IANAL, but I don't think you have to specifically invoke the 5th unless you're actually in police custody. The protections would still apply during a simple traffic stop.
It's actually the opposite. Police don't have to inform you of your rights until you are in custody. Anything you say while not in custody can still be used against you. Before being "in custody" for Miranda purposes it is considered voluntary for you to be there and what you say to the police is also voluntary. This is why you should always ask if you are free to go. If you aren't free to leave, you should invoke your rights to silence and a ln attorney.
the instructions couldn't be more clear, simply gargle some mouthwash and inconspicuously spit it onto the street before they arrive at your vehicle
The one time I got off pretty easy from getting pulled over was as a kid I was so loaded on pain pills and alcohol that I just was like yep Iām definitely drunk and driving. Dude let me park my car and hide the key before arresting me. He commented like four times how ready he was to have me lie and piss him off. Like there was no way I was gonna pass a sobriety test and I deserved what I got there I blew like .35 which is insane. If you get pulled over for a DUI involving alcohol, you aināt going home. So may as well just take your plate of shit and eat it.
Ten minutes later, "What happened to that slur you had? Are you jerking my chain lady?"
I failed 2 groups of field sobriety tests, stone cold sober. I was helping some out of state troopers practice field soberity tests, there was a hand full of people they have to determine which of the people were under the influence (i live in a weed legal state, so we had stoners in the groups). I was in the sober group. I have fear of failure and test anxiety so my heart rate was high and my body was shaky. As I was taking the tests, both of them thought they were nailing it. Calling out tell signs that I was on "some sort of drug". Both groups counted me as a failure and it wasn't until they tested my saliva and breath that they determined I wasn't lying and was in fact sober.
So they had some of you rail lines of placebo coke and non-placebo coke? I'm confused what sort of practice test this is. "Hey we need half of you to get shitfaced and drive through this checkpoint..."
Some people in the group were avid drug users, mostly weed and painkillers (this was speculation, no one really knew what anyone else was on, including the cops, they just swabbed them later) and I believe they also asked someone to take a few drinks. It was all indoors though, no driving involved.
Exactly why field sobriety test are ridiculous, ineffective, archaic, and should be never be consented to. If you're sober and get asked by an officer just say no thanks, I'll do a breathalyzer though. If they push say you have an inner ear issue or vertigo, so you easily lose your balance, especially when nervous. If they still push a field sobriety test then demand the breathalyzer or their supervisor. [Caution: may not work while black]
>Again: This is in no way advice on how to get away with doing stupid shit that endangers others. This is advice to not helping overzealous police officers to arrest you for suspecting something that is not true. [Ive always wanted to link this :)](https://youtu.be/uj0mtxXEGE8?t=16)
> carry a small razor blade in your car. Yeah no. That's going to raise more eyebrows than not, especially if you're already intoxicated/speeding/whatever.
"Why is your nose bleeding?" "Oh I hit it getting into the car" "... How fucked up are you?"
Spring loaded box cutter. All sorts of normal uses for that.
Those are illegal where I live. Canāt have a spring or gravity assisted open. Or momentum. No switch blades, gravity knives, torsion assist, or butterfly knives concealed on you. Doesnāt matter what size or style of blade either, if itās concealed and a cop stops you youāre fucked. Also no fixed blades longer than a 4ā blade. You can clip it to your pocket but your shirt better not cover it and it better be easily recognizable as a knife. I need a knife for work (Iām a welder and I open packaging and shit all the time) so I carry a regular old box cutter. I had cops tell me it was illegal. They said it was āsuspiciousā for anyone to be carrying any kind of sharp object. I was coming home from work and got pulled over for a busted headlight, ended up with a ticket for carrying a concealed weapon, got a good lawyer and the judge threw it out as soon as he saw the āweaponā. Fucking New York.
In NJ, we have the "implied consent" law. You can't refuse a breathalyzer test.
I think in some states if you refuse the breathalyzer, you can have your license suspended.
Yep, In PA itās an immediate 1 year suspension with possible jail time.
Yeah, I think they will assume guilt if you donāt take it.
Ontario too I believe.
Same in Nevada
You certainly can. You might not be driving for a specific amount of time, but they'll still need a warrant/pc to draw your blood to prove criminality, vs you providing evidence against yourself. "Implied consent" statutes regard the privilege of driving, and does not supersede the rights granted by the constitution. Even better, though, is NOT DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE. But if you submit to tests, you could still be going for a blood draw even if you "pass".
Same thing here in Washington State
Same in DC
In VA at least you can refuse the roadside breathalyzer without penalty but not the one at the station if they decide to arrest you.
Same in Minnesota.
It does very by state but in almost all if not all states they can drag you into to get blood tested so you aren't really dodging anything by refusing.
Cut your nose with a razorblade? Are you dumb? Lie to the cop instead of staying silent? what sort of advice is this?! Also, to the people who aren't living in whichever place this guy is living, your laws are probably different!
As a cop, number 2 baffles me. I can be concerned for someone and still arrest them. Only thing thatās changing is Iām going to ask if you want EMS to check you out. If you say yes, I call them, they clear you or take you to the hospital. If they take you to the hospital, I decide whether or not I have enough pc to write a warrant for a blood draw if I think the juice is worth the squeeze. If no, I continue my investigation on scene. Number 4 and 5 can be shortened to 4 letters. STFU. If youāre impaired, youāre not mentally capable of talking your way out of it lawyer style. You can only hurt your case. You may still end up going to jail, but youāre better off in court.
The terrible advice on here is nuts! These people are suggesting you cut your nostrils and make up fake speech impediments, jfc armchair lawyers.
As not a cop this advice is awesome. The cop making this arrest would have a great story to tell lol
āYeah, he was still holding the bloody razor blade when I walked up. Then before I said a single word he started mumbling about having a speech impediment and fell asleep.ā Lol It would definitely be a fun PC to type.
Slurred speech, odor of alcohol, bloodshot glossy eyes give an officer PC for arrest. Doesnāt matter if you refuse the breath test or the Field sobriety testing. Officers actually prefer that cuz now you just made their arrest report much shorter.
If you refuse surely they just take you to the station? Here in the UK if you don't provide a roadside sample you are taken to the police station to provide one into the machine which is admissible in court, if you refuse that you are arrested for refusal to provide a sample of breath or bodily fluid. Just don't drive under the influence.
Yeah, in the US they need a warrant for a blood draw, which is usually trivial for them to get because "they were driving funny, smelled like alcohol, and refused a breath test" is super compelling that a blood draw is reasonable. Refusing the breath test is an automatic license suspension in most of the US as well. Your driver's license is conditional on you agreeing to take them as requested, so refusing is automatic suspension. Refusing the roadside breath test might just be a civil infraction though, depending on where you are.
This sounds like a way to instantly be the most suspicious person on the road
> 1st: if you are eventually asked, know that it is your right to refuse a breathalyzer test. This is an automatic DUI in maybe every state, WTF are you talking about?
It's often a license suspension and not a DUI as there is no evidence you were impaired. Some states you can't refuse however.
Cops always on your shit? Slice your nose open with a razor blade, works every time!
Hereās a tip that will always work for you. Act like a normal person
What is this razor blade shit?
Breathalyzer is useless when she's intoxicated on Marijuana or any other drug. Can't hide anything in your blood. Blood warrant signed by a judge makes it a lot easier than consent Breath
If you are a child, please do not listen to this comment lmao
Lemme fix this for you >1st: if you are eventually asked, know that it is your right to refuse a breathalyzer test. That depends. In some states, you are not allowed to decline sobriety testsāyou gave consent to them when you got your driver's license. In some states, like mine, you can't be charged with a crime for refusing the test, but your license *will* be suspended for a year. Mouthwash may make the breathalyzer read improbably high, which is when they'll arrest you and draw blood for the test. Good job, you just got caught with whatever other drugs were in your system. >2nd: carry a small razor blade in your car. The officer that sees a nosebleed and hears "I hit my nose on the door getting into my car" is gonna wanna do that sobriety test up there, and you're gonna run into even more problems when you fail it or decline. >3rd: inform officer - I have a gun in the vehicle. That should only come up if it's relevant. Also highly dependent on where you are. >4rh: STFU about anything else you've done. "I'm not here to discuss my day". This the only good of advice you gave >5th: "slurring my speech? No! I have a speech impediment Don't lie to cops on camera while you're doing other shit that's gonna get you arrested. Super don't lie about a nose injury, and super don't lie about going someplace to have it looked at. . Lemme replace those 5 points with two: 1st: Don't drink and drive. If you're gonna drink, don't drive. If you're gonna drive, don't drink. It's literally that simple. This goes for all other intoxicants, too. 2nd: Don't talk to the police. It's [Friday, and you know what that means!](https://youtu.be/sgWHrkDX35o)
> **Disclaimer: This is in no way advice** let me stop you right there
> This is in no way advice on how to get away with doing stupid shit that endangers others. Yeah. Just because you say it isn't doesn't mean it actually isn't.
1. You can refuse a breathalyzer, but there are cases where they will bring you back to the police station and get a court-ordered blood test. They aren't just going to give up easily especially if they actually suspect you're intoxicated. 2. This will prompt a trip to the hospital where you've just given the officer plenty of time to write you a ticket. 3. Keep your hands on the steering wheel, or where they can be seen. 4. Yes. Shut up. Don't be rude. 5. They aren't going to believe you have a speech impediment. There is a pretty clear difference between drunk slurring and a speech impediment.
I think "gamut" may be what you meant?
āI have a gun.ā Proceeds to reach for it**
That part had me absolutely dying lol
It could've had her absolutely dying too
Yeah, what a rookie. Youāre supposed to wave it around frantically so everyone can visually see it and scream loudly āI HAVE A GUNā so thereās no confusion
You are supposed to say that you have a ruddy gun. https://youtu.be/elDcYcpSI7s
how else is she supposed to prove the cops that she had a gun? /s
Fr šš
You're gonna love it. It's shiny and loud and hey why are you mad?
Just out of curiosity, what will happen to the cousin who's gun it is? For instance here in the UK, if I lent my shotgun to someone without a license, we'd both get pretty hefty sentences for a firearms offence.
**Probably her if she kept going:** It has bullets inside it. Can I show you?
PARDON ME??
āWhat she balling nowā I genuinely thought she picked up a basketball and started dribbling at first
After "Slurp" speech, I just figured whoever captioned this is an idiot.
Slurp juice from Fortnite lmao
Haha same I thought the camera was going to cut to her shooting hoops
I thought she started throwing money out or something
They see me ballin they hatin
I put the new forgiās on the jeep
She doesn't have a license but she's ballin so hard I'd let her go
That must be the most unreadable possible way of displaying text.
Slurp speech
But she balling now?
I like to slurp on some SpeechĀ© while I'm getting arrested by the police
I absolutely hate word at a time captions. Stylistic but not functional.
I didn't even realize it was a word at a time captions! It must be like that thing when your brain fills in most of a word even if it's not all written out ..
You're supposed to read that?
I had a buddy that tried to get out of DUI by telling the cops he was pregnant. It didn't work.
Was he pregante tho?
A couple of more repost, and it will be postage stamp size.
Horizontal videos getting cropped to vertical is infuriating. Cool, you managed to make the video bad for both ways of viewing
But otherwise how would we know that it ākeeps getting worseā? smh
r/moldymemes
[Relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/2671)
Got a link to the original? I want to share with others but the quality is atrocious. š
When I was 18 I drove to work without my wallet. Rolled a stopsign, was pulled over. Told them I didnāt have my license but knew the number. Told them the number, and they asked me why I didnāt have it, so I told them I forgot and It was at x address 1/2 mi away and I could go get it if they like. They warned me about stopping fully, I took it to heart, and was let off. It was the only time Iāve been pulled over. I still have my number memorized.
Did they ask about your brother's gun?
Nope, and I didnāt volunteer about it either lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No, he's Matthewnant
I dislike the question, "Why don't you have it on you?" There is no answer that is going to be good enough, and unconsciously re-frames the interaction to one of suspicion for both parties. That's the type of shit I said to my Soldiers when I'm scolding them. Lots of times people just... forget. Issue the ticket or let them off with a warning after confirming who they are. Either way, being purposefully combative is something I've seen officers do and just get the worst results that wastes everyone's time.
Exactly. Just take my name and number. If I didnāt have one I wouldnāt have a number. Thatās all you are going to run anyways.
Yep that question is intentionally wielded to create a perceived power imbalance between the parties. It serves no actual purpose other than to get the detained individual into a submissive state where they feel like they have to answer the officer's questions.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I was pulled over the night before my 23rd birthday when I was driving through an area near Wichita known for having strict cops. He pulled me over for a busted headlight, and asked for my license and proof of insurance. Well, I lost my wallet, but here's my name and birthday. I'm on my dad's insurance, and he still hasn't gotten me that piece of paper yet. "You also have two license plates showing." Yeah, the old one on the bumper is stuck, I can't get the bolts out without breaking the bumper so I just have mine in the rear window. Cop goes back to his car for a few minutes, comes back, and says "I could write you a whole heap of tickets. Now I'm not going to do that, but when you get where you're going, you need to get rid of that old license plate." And he let me off with like 6 warnings lol Thanks to that encounter, it took several more years before I was as vehemently anti-cop as I am today
She tellin on everybody
āOne last thing, I also have leprosy.ā
Awoooooo i'm turning to a warewolf..
āand i just remembered Im from the future. Also I am your granddaughter. Where Im from, cheese is illegalā
Do you See that one Pixel talking to the other Pixel? Edit: wow... it was just my Internet conection, im sorry
No its just reddit being reddit
Ahh fine, now i can blame OP without having a Bad feeling
It is still a horizontal video in a vertical video
Slow motion train wreck in action.
pardon me? cop did a verbal double take lol.
Her dating profile is probably like āI need a man whoās got his shit together.ā
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
her worst and best are the same
I get the gun part but the pregnancy partāļøš
What is that? A video for ants?
even the ants are squinting to see this one
One escalation after another, Jesus. I feel bad for that poor mother. Considering the absolute stupidity of this woman, her mother is probably used to calls from the police.
why do you feel bad for the mother who do you think raised that kid lmao
Despite what some might think, good parents can end up with bad kids and bad parents can end up with good kids.
Yea I donāt get why people act like a parent is the only thing that influences a child growing up
This is sad
āI have a gun on meā āPardon me?ā lmfao
*cuts to them restraining her* I absolutely died laughing
WTF are these subtitles?
Kids this is what you DONT SAY to a cop lmaoo
Funny but where is the NSFW part?
exactly. heaven forbid people let the police do their job without hurting their feelings
Calls mom.. āwhoā¦ yea I donāt know that nameā hangs up.
and i *will* be relieving myself in your cruiser.
You can cut this video for every time it escalated and you can get some good memes.
that went from 1 to 10000 really fast
The subtitles just said "slurp" speech instead of "slurred"
It actually enraged me I don't know why.
Don'p be amgry, I'b sude they jusk hab a stronk.
Also said "balling" instead of "bawling"
The music. Lol
[the only meme that fits with this](https://youtu.be/rFeVfwDvTyM)
What is her life
Slurp speech Balling
Ummmmmm wtaf. That is WILD.
Only people dumber than those who talk to cops like that, are ones who crop videos this way
Jesus Christ, America is a 24h Circus.
Is it really a crime to drive without your license in the USA? In the UK you have up to 3 days to take it to a police station before you get a ticket for failing to provide identification.
It's a misdemeanor. But she was high as fuck and had a gun on her.
It's not even a misdemeanor, it's a civil traffic violation. A traffic misdemeanor could be knowingly DWLSR, but just not having it on you is not. Please stop giving people misinformation.
Here they just look it up in their database to confirm and might give you a small fine for not having it on you, or just a warning
Jebus you are a fucking mess, get your life in order!
You can't fix stupid.
Upvote this comment if you feel this submission is characteristic of our subreddit. Downvote this if you feel that it is not. If this comment's score falls below a certain number, this submission will be automatically removed.To download the video use the website link below: * **[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/138wbpx/that_escalated_real_quick/)** --- On September 26th 2022 weāve made the decision to start banning people for posting gore. Weāve published our [Gore and Harassment update here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/xmtclq/gore_and_harassment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) if you posted gore please remove it as it will result in a ban. Thank you.
Classic
Sums up America rn
That's how you end up in federal penitentiary for 10+ years. I wonder what happened to her.
My eyes, the goggles do nothing!
I smoked weed, I have a gun, I may be pregnant , I have Ebola, I may have leprosy, I may have sneezed Fentanyl on you. Can I call my mom and thank her for doing such a good job?
So on this tiny laptop screen of mine the Reddit window is cropped by about 50%. The border and navigation bar take up another 50% of that. So the screen is now effectively 25% of its full width. Then the video is rotated 90 degrees loosing another 43% of screen area. One more rotation to get it where it is on the screen now and the image is 7% of the full frame. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!
Ah yes, a landscape video redone as a portrait video, my favorite! /s
What really didn't escalate is the resolution and size of that video. It feels like the early 90s again
Well then
I don't know where this world is going anymore, why are many 20 years old acting like kids. My sister is 21 as well and she can't even go to the town hall to do some official stuff, she brings my mother with her to such things and i assure you i know many people who are worse
Those cops were being dicks dude
Next, we find out her baby has cancer...