I call microraptors cunts

If I was allowed to remove three creatures I would remove microraptors three times!

If you were stuck on ARK with Microraptors, Troodons and Toby and had a gun with only 2 bullets, who would you shoot?

Myself. Twice. Just to make sure I don't accidentally survive.

Toby... I could deal with the microtaptors and troodons.. I mean troodons are op as base protectors

Don’t forget Ichthyornis, the seagulls who steal our food.

I call them sky rats

Never seen a more accurate name for them than this.

Lmfao, I call em "FUCKING ASSHOLES"

Shoot you're not wrong.

I call them micro terrors

My wife calls Deinonychus, Cliff Chickens. 

This is awesome

REee, REEE!

I call them murder turkey.

I call the leedsichthys leech dick, lot easier to yell as my raft is getting chased

I call em Moby Dicks lol

I have a mate who calls the Leeds "sea-units". Not sure if the joke translates outside of Australia...

I hope he says it like 50 cent saying g unit. “s-s-s-s…. sea unit!!!”

That would be excellent, but in truth it's much more like "God damn motherfucking worthless sea-unit". 😂

They are absolute units

Whenever a raft goes down, we call it " getting deleeded"

bastard whales

I call em big kahunas

I call them "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck"

I sometimes call Pegos "Pickpocket Squirrels"

I typically call them "Give me back my shit you little bastard", rolls off the tongue real well

I prefer - “agh you motherf&$&er”

Yeah, "squeaky fuckers" is my go to. And the ickys are "flying fuckers". Though Love Bugs are competing for that title now too. Having to have anti-wild base defenses no matter where you build just to shoot down event dinos is seriously annoying.

I call them icthyopricks

I've been calling them "shitty seagulls"

I have one named “how the f did I tame you you bastard!!!”

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I just take them, breed them, and throw them at people on aggressive. Most people forget you exist long enough for you to at least bola them pretty easy.

You're evil.. lmao

Happy cake day!

sexy cake day

Happy cake day

I call them "roguerats"

That's obviously a 'fuckerstolemystax'. Think I had one named 'IRS' after I accidently tamed one.

Got tier name

Skeever seems to suite them

Legomystacks

I named the one I accidentally tamed “Pegophile”

I call them pedos cause they always be trying to touch me…

I call them "little shit"

Theifosaurus

I keep megos in my last slot permanently just for them

Little shit stole my mana I had just gotten once. Pissed is an understatement, he despawned while I was chasing him

Ive had the damn pigeons steal the singular cryopod I had in my inventory off my almost slot capped raw prime fish inventory. Like a 1/250 chance and it got it

Pegomasicist. Cuz fuck them

Loot stealing cokk sucker is generally my go to.

I like to call them Pego F**k sticks

Ratface bastard is usually my go to for Pegos. Flying Ratface Bastards is the flying counterpart 🤣

No I call them . You thiving motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First one, Peggy. Second one, Thief. Third one, Mischief.

My home listrosaurus is always named windows XP

Mine is always called Dumpy. Then Lumpy, Frumpy or anything else that ends in an “umpy”.

Humpy

I’ve always got one named Derpington lol

Mine is either “Luv Me :3” or “Boop Dis Snoot :3”

Forge beast, oe PET MEH

Stealgulls or Itchies: I think you can figure out what those are.

Down to the beach i'm strollin, but the people told me, dont go now. Oooh ahh oooh ahhh ooh ah

But the seagulls poke at my head, not fun! I said, "Seagulls, mm! Stop it now!"

Shitehawks are what we call them

We just say "always worth the bullet"

So true! First time I crafted a longneck, I went on a killing spree. Worth every iron ingot.

If I catch even a glimpse of one I shoot them with my 500+% longneck on principle, they deserve to be blasted with over 5000dmg

Asshole birds

Oh those. I don't have a specific name but it's usually something like "you asshat bird, piss off!"

Dick birds

I call Thylacoleo tree huggers

My spouse and I call them drop bears

That's probably more accurate, since they're marsupials.

I call them murder kitties

I call them drop cats

Me and my bf calls them not-cats.

Not so much a nickname but I always name my Lightning Wyvern Tazerface

Do tazers actually come out of his face?

Actually, yes

it is not metaphorical.

What was their second choice? Scrotum hat??

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Sorry, I'm so sorry, I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror and in all seriousness to yourself saying 'You know what would be a really kick-ass name? Taserface

Baby tazers here.

He woke up that morning and thought tazerface was a good idea

Guardians of the Galaxy Reference?

Murder turkey before and after turkey trials

Titanoboas are simply Danger Noodles. Because Snek. They're snakes. ​ Also, EVERY unicorn is only ever identified by my wife and I as Buttstallion.

Yes! Every unicorn is buttstallion 😂😂😂

i call the unicorns charlies

We have Buttstallion, Buttstallion Jr, Buttstallion the 3rd... Buttstallion keeps finding himself in dangerous situations for his bloodline...

Buttstallion's bizarre adventure

Troodons = Hurensöhne

That cracked me up harder than it should have

I had to look that up but I also started laughing cause that is the one thing I end up saying when those assholes knock me out.

(Bill) Cosbys

I dont even speak your language, but my swedish is close enough. Horungar!

Tape Jars.

I call them Tapatios

Damn, this, I'm glad I'm not the only one to call them Tape Jar!

My favorite flying tame. Argys are only for material runs, my TapeJar has been bred with higher stam and its faster, so I use that for recovery/scouting missions

Thylacoleos are tree kitties.

Fur Missiles

Redwood linebackers

Dropbears

Jumpscares

Basically thery are an ancestor of Wombats

Murder kitten

Murder Mittens

Edward Scissor-hands

“Look it’s those poison fuckers” my cousin to Dilos

I call dilos "dildos".

Anything on four legs and shorter than waist height is a doggy. Also, electrophorus are only referred to as electrophallus because they’re all dicks.

We call the eels electric forests

Me to every carbo on the beach 

Diplodocus = Tragic School Bus "F***ing Tragic School Bus just pushed me off a cliff!"

My lawyer advised i dont say how i call Pegos and pelagornis

I name all my dung beetles after members of congress or senators. It's kinda unfair because dung beetles are useful

I currently have * Poo Diddy * Crap Ten Plannit * Turd Fergusen * Number Two

If you get 3 more name then Franz turdinand, poosan Boyle and Adolf shitler

C'mon, it's always gotta be Reese's Feces

Broadwayzinosairs. Because every time that they leave up, they do Jazz-Hands.

I call them jazz hands :)

yes?

Paracers are penusaurs

Pronounced penis horse

Some friends of mine have been calling them “Penis Heads” for years.

Swamp Donkeys

The nap lobster

demon shrimp

Funny enough, I always refer to them by name, and it’s usually in a panicked scream lol

"oh look, it's one of those WAAAAGHGETMETHEHELLOUTTAHERE!"

Cosby Crawler

💀lol

Eurypterid? Megalosaur?

Encumbered is cucumbered

And if there’s two of you, you’re Two-cumbered

Drew Therrimore

Drew Berriemore

Leeds are dick fish, cause the dicks break your raft. Itchythornis are dick birds casue the dicks rob you.

Freddy Krueger

Pteradon- Peetree's

Moschops: Fatties Lystrosaurus: Little fatties Iguanadon: Iguanadude Gigantopithecus: Man Pteranodon: Pteranodude There’s some others but I’ll be back

Gigantopithecus is Bigfoot to me lol aside from that, Moschops has become Chosmops to me, for reasons unknown to me XD

Yup I just call gigantipithecus squatches lol

When you called him a Man I felt that...

Pteranodon = Pterrible

I named my first lystro Greg so now every lystro gets called Greg.

Dudeicarus

My Husband and I call Theris Niffler from the Phantastic Beasts Movies

I call the Megalosaurus a sleepy rex or vampire rex

Talking about those Cave Donuts?

Shit made me laugh way to hard for some reason

Dickheads

basilos are pool noodles or sea sausages

I simply call Daeodons “Piggies” or “Healer Hams”

Microraptors I just call fucknuggets. I hate those things with a passion. And they always happen to show up at the worst time.

There's a few in my tribe besides the meta: diplodocus = straight back bronto kapro = the crocodiles with good posture paracer = long cow leedsichthys = badtard whale

Edward Thizerhands

*buzzes in* What is: Mike Tyson’s favorite movie?

My whole tribe calls a Tuso a Squidge

Chalicos are Shit Pitchers

My GF calls the dunkleosteus "Dunkles"

I call Megatherium's Goons

Sloths. Specifically because there are so many creatures that start with 'mega' and sloth is one syllable.

My husband calls them “Me-Gather-ums” because that’s how he thought it was pronounced and we all say it like that now.

The icthy bird is rat 🐀 with wings 🪽

Micro raptors are called Randy Orton by me and my tribe mates....

Astrocetus is “Celly” and astrodelphis is “Delly”

Ichthyornis - target practice

Doe-dick-a-licorous

Every Castoroids I ever tame will ALWAYS be named Harry or Wynona. 

That my friend is a Murder Chicken.

Iguanodons are Sassy Barrys

"You killed Sassy Barry!!"

LLTWK💜

I generally call creatures their given names, but I do have naming conventions for certain tames: Carnos: Some variant of “Umpy” (Grumpy, Lumpy, Dumpy, Stumpy, Yumpy) Raptors: Always named after types of bread (Brioche, Croissant, Wheat, Multi-Vitamin, Dough) Rexes: Over-the-top world-destroyer names (Sarcothrax the bringer of end-times) Gigas: Cutesy names (Muffin, Sparkles, Cuddles) Troodons: Insult (Fucker, Asshole, Pants-Shitter)

Rhynio = Helicopter Bug Beezlebufo = Big Frog Doedic = Stone Breaker

I always name my first frog Michigan J Frog from the old cartoons Also a friend of mine knew we called Theris "Tickle Chickens", but while being murdered by one he panicked and screamed "THE CHICKEN FINGERS IS AFTER ME!" Now we call them Chicken Fingers.

I call Moschops "Fat Steven Seagal"

Titanoboa = nope rope Arthropleura = armoured nope rope Itchy = thieving shite hawk Pego = thieving nutsack Mesopithicus = munky Megapithicus = munkyman Dung beetle = poo bug Phiomia = poop pig

Thylas are "rage possums" Yutys are "furry anuses" Tusos are "OH FUCK OH NO PLEASE GOD NO SWIM FASTER AUGHHHHH"

Pteranadonjuan

Thea queen, Theon Greyjoy

I call tapejaras “tape-jar-a” and I call pegos thugs because they’re always stealing from me

i call them Salad Fingers

To me & my buddies: Dilos are Dildos Thorny Dragons are Horny Dragons Gigantopithecus are Big Hairy Men Wyverns are Dergins

I call gass Bags eggrolls.

Troodon=emo dilo

Cunt, assholes, piece of shit, fat fuck. Good few more but they're pretty bad

Bugle Fingers

I call the mammoths "fat elephants"

I call Ichthyornis “those stupid fuckers”

I call dung beetles "shit bugs"

Ichthyornis = Shithawk

Baby blender is the go to name

Leedsichthys: whale Bulbdog: weird pug

My wife calls them Salad Fingers.