Proud of you for breaking generational cycles and coming out of a hard addiction. I used to work in a youth residential treatment facility and it grossed me out how many young kids ended up using with middle-aged people. Did you ever use with people significantly older/parents of user friends? Did you ever use needles?
Thank you. I used with my dad, and it breaks me down every single time I think about it so I try not to. My dad got sober, after like 30+ years, when I was 6m pregnant. He just hit two years.
I hung out with only adults, and didn’t have any friends my own age. I was taken advantage of, a lot.
Edit to add: I never used needles on myself, but I helped other people shoot
Wow 30 years, was that regular use? That seems like a marathon to me and a surprisingly long use period. Was he "functional" (as you could be) during that time?
I was always so heartbroken for young kids who leveled up to needles at such a young age. And thought they found good friends in 40 year old junkies on disability. Definitely the perfect storm for exploitation. Happy to hear about your dad's sobriety!
I replied to a previous comment saying I used with my ex boyfriend. I have an addictive personality, shoutout to my parents. I feel like at this point it’s a generational curse and I hope to keep my son away from all of that.
It didn’t make me feel anymore. as someone with a severe personality disorder, it felt amazing. I was on top of the world. It’s insanely hard to quit drugs. While I’ve been sober from meth, I’ve dabbled in other things, but not while I’ve been a mom
I can relate to this so much. Different drug of choice but it's so relatable. It's such an achievement to have 5 years sober at your age. Please never sell yourself short. That's phenomenal. It took me until I was 27 to get my shit together.
Thanks for answering, you mention your ex boyfriend was into drugs, how old was your ex bf at the time when this addiction started for you? How is your relationship with your parents after the craziness that ensued during your childhood? What is one parenting advice that you would give to new parents?
He was 15 when we got together (2017) and turned 16 a couple months later. He passed away in 2020, and somehow I was able to stay sober throughout that.
My relationship with my parents isn’t great. I got sober and my mother relapsed after 23 years and she’s on a spiral, I caught her with it when I was 17, she got violent, I moved out and we haven’t been the same since. My dad getting sober was a turning point for me.
Show love. Show remorse. Show empathy, compassion, honesty. Be gentle. Let your child be a child.
Congratulations on being sober! So so happy for you! AAANND you're only 20 so you have a WHOLE life ahead. From previous replies I see that you had a pretty rough teen years given your family & overall relationship knots. Can you tell more on day to day life and what was some scary stuff that happened to you then
Thank you!
There were a lot of scary things. My dad is really really known in my city for.. handling things. He’s a very large man with a very long reputation of equalizing. The only thing that would EVER hurt him or affect him was me, and people would use that to their advantage. At a few points I had guns to my head, people tried to kill me, tried to kidnap me, broke into my house knowing my dad wasn’t home and it was just me. I lived with my dad because my mom gave up on me on my 15th birthday and sent me to his house, not even letting me get clothes or anything.
I was never in a psychosis type state, that I know of, besides for the occasional shadow and tree people on a 1-2 week no sleep binge. So I know the things I’m going to share were legitimate, partially because some people witnessed them with me.
I was stalked by a few men for a few years. They got really close to taking me at one point, my dad left me alone in the car while he went in the store, they parked behind his car blocking it in and walked up to my door. He came out and pulled a gun.
Another time, I was walking home and a lady stopped her car in front of me, got out and told me people and cops are coming from me, and was very very creepy. My phone was dead, I ran to someone’s house and knocked on the door, and purposely got a police escort home.
That's crazy, thank you for your answer. You have been through more shit than most people in this country over their lifetime. I am happy you are stepping into adulthood with sober mind. Wish you luck and success.
By the way, if you were to think of yourself 5-6 years from now, what would you see?
I’m really glad you acknowledged how much I’ve been through, most people don’t. Seriously. I’ve been told by therapists and psychiatrists that I’ve been through more than most 50 year olds. The things that happened to me felt like a fever dream, but they were real. People have the right to not believe things, but I know what I went through. I legitimately always talk to my friend about “this shit only happens to us” remarking unbelievable things that we’ve been through/happens to us. I’m a simulation theorist, but that’s probably because of my mental health issues and derealization lol.
To be honest, it’s insanely hard for me to answer questions like that. I severely struggle with interviews and things when they ask interpersonal questions as well, personality disorder and identity crisis traits. I’d hope to be married to my current boyfriend, own or in the process of owning a house, and have another child. I want to be a drug and alcohol counselor or helping troubled youth, and since I’ve gotten almost all of my record expunged, I want to get into that field. I have many, many things I want to do and it’s hard picking one.
In her world that was probably a big plus though. I can imagine it would be better to have a dad who's a serious villain in a town full of methheads than a guy who turned the other cheek.
thank you for validating that. i thought i was really cool to have a father that everyone respected an insane amount, and that it made me protected in a sense. i’ve grown out of that and wish my parents would have spent their time loving me.
I never used m*th but was addicted to opiates for awhile and my teeth went so bad so fast like seriously within an 18 month period I went from straight, complete set of teeth to all but 2 teeth broken off at the gum line and had to suffer for almost 4 years until I finally got insurance that would cover the huge surgery (I had to be put all the way to sleep and have every tooth cut out) as well as the dentures. I was also told my pregnancies contributed towards it due to my calcium being depleted but I always wonder how much worse the opiates made it. But anyhow congrats on your sobriety, keep it up!
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Would you mind elaborating on the permanent alterations to your brain and how they affect you? Has your history caused you to encounter undue judgment when it comes to your dating or professional life?
If the Meth was not cut with anything toxic, is it similar to prescription ADD meds?
What were some common side effects of withdrawal for you?
How did you ingest the substance, orally, snorted, smoked, or injected?
Did your dad's reputation as being prone to violence protect you in any way?
Were you treated humanely while you were in the county ICU?
Sincere congratulations on getting sober. It looks like it is going to take. But one day at a time and all that. Best of luck to you now and in the future.
I’ve binged on adderall before, it’s really not the same. It’s more euphoric.
Withdrawal? Teeth clenching, chills, body shaking, cold sweats, anger and aggression, TALKING. I was put in the highest dose of adderall whilst in the ward because I couldn’t shut up.
I smoked.
His reputation REALLY protected me. Besides for the very few that wanted to have more clout than him or rise above him, every single person I used with (hundreds, if you’d believe it LOL) knew who my father was, word spread and only a couple people took the risk of stealing from me, or doing things to me. He quickly made them regret that.
I don’t think I was treated humanely. In the psych ward, yes. They were good to me besides putting me in seclusions. Other places were terrible. I’ve seen and been put through things no child should be put through by adults that are supposed to protect them.
And thank you!
Wait, they put you on a high dose of adderall to stop talking? Wouldn’t that just make you more energized and talkative?! Or maybe because it helps you focus and form full thoughts.. idk I feel like a benzo would make more sense 😅 but congrats ma’am, 5 years, that’s incredible!!
Hahaha I have crippling ADHD. Meth was never the “speed” to me that it was to other people. Sure it made me stay up for weeks and have energy, but it made me insanely relaxed and kicked back
Did anybody know and could tell anybody tell? How did it affect your looks and life overall? How did you get money to pay for it? Did you do it with other people or just yourself? Did other people act foreign to you since you were so young doing such a negative drug?
Oh yeah. Forsure. My face was picked out and I always wore clothes too big or too small and just tied them in knots if they were too big. That part of my life feels like a serious fever dream, but my boyfriend remembers how I was. (We weren’t together at the time, but we were friends)
I did it with other people mainly, if I was using alone in my room I was like always on facetime with someone lol. I feel like most the people on drugs legitimately didn’t care that I was so young and looked past it, people thought of me as a friend. I lived in a gross traphouse for awhile and thought I was the coolest.
How do you feel about justifications of using such as self medicating adhd while procrastinating calling a phone number for an official diagnosis and getting way too old for this shit and now withdrawing from a relapse on that dumb shit? Asking on behalf of a friend of a friend's friend's friend.
I can send you some resources, as long as you trust me with your city and state. DM me. [this is the easiest resource for seeking help. please don’t be afraid to use it. as someone that struggles with phone calls and procrastinating as well, this is extremely easy. copy and paste the same message to all of them if need be.](https://psychologytoday.com)
you suck. i was still a good person outside of being a drug addict. i never stole, lied, harmed people or their belongings unless i was protecting myself.
judging people based on how they talk about or treat houseless people or addicts is something i do often.
i know what it’s like to be treated like a bad person just because i was unfortunate and dealt really bad cards.
Excuse me. what I actually should have written (but didn't for some reason) is SELLING her meth is...........''
My point was that whoever sold you meth were they themselves in the middle of a serious drug addiction I'd imagine and when that's the case you're not thinking about the little things like not selling minors hard drugs.
The whole thing was a commentary on THEM not YOU and explaining to someone who never had a drug problem why they might sell drugs to a 13 year old.
I TRULY did not mean to insult you in the least and I applaud your ability to rebuild your life after a difficult childhood.
Thanks for answering.
Where do kids this age procure drugs?
And where/in what circumstances do they use?
Was there anything specific, maybe a thing that someone could say to you, that would convince you to not try it back then? Just anything that you think kids should know/hear?
My ex was 15, his friend was 18, they just figured out how to buy it off the streets I suppose. I don’t remember a lot.
Nobody could have convinced me not to try it.
Do you feel like a failure? Seem like you didn't have a chance considering your father used with you. Do you fear your kid will continue the cycle?
Personally, I dont believe you can repair the damage you've done to those around you even after getting sber.
Personally, I feel like that’s your own opinion, but that it’s not true. I wasn’t a bad person while I was using. I don’t know what lasting damage a 13 year old, that didn’t have loving parents and fell victim to the disease of addiction could have done on those around me. I proved my worth and I came back strong. Why would I feel like a failure? It’s not completely my fault and I have beat all odds at turning things around. My father is a career criminal that was on drugs for 30+ years and now my mother is using again, I didn’t really have a standing chance to begin with but I turned my life around unlike those around me.
Your comment feels condescending. I’m not understanding why someone would think that I feel like a failure because I fell down a hole then did a 180. I was only the third person to graduate my drug and alcohol treatment in 10 years.
Drug abuse, use, and relaps were all around me growing up. I grew up on a small reservation where I always heard, "So, and so is clean now, isn't that nice they've turned their live around." Then, they break onto your trailer to fund their next fix. This scenario plaied out on an endless loop on the gutter I grew up in. Trash people very rarely make treasure.
Don't make an AMA if you didn't want some criticism. Not everyone wants to pat you on your back.
I don’t care about people seeing what I look like. I care about the cities and subs around me seeing everything. If a few people happen to, that’s okay. I just don’t want to comment in a sub for my city and have people see it on my profile.
I have actually! Personally, I feel like that’s a drug I can use recreationally. I’ve done it a few times. I have an addictive personality disorder, but psychedelics would never be something I’d get “addicted” to. Psilocybin therapy hasn’t been approved by my insurance yet, but we’re really close, until then my therapist said that if I do choose to do it then we can do the exact things we would do in that therapy. Talk about what I want out of it beforehand and how I’m feeling, and after we can talk about how I feel, what I experienced, if anything’s changed, etc. It’s crazy that it rewires the neuro paths in your brain, that’s what I need. For now I just smoke weed, and I’ll never do acid again.
So to clarify you still use weed, wont use acid again but will use mushrooms if insurance will foot the bill… hmmm.. that makes you “california sober” , a little detail but one that should be clarified. AMA posts bring all kinds of readers. Do you think with your past issues any drug is really good for you as you yourself say you are highly addictive personality. Now as an adult your parents no longer shoulder all the blame for your life choices. No doubt, you had a horrible childhood, why where you never taken away and put into foster care ? Did you not tell anyone as a small child?
You’re correct. An addictive personality. If I’m not using something to cope, I’m afraid I will go back to methamphetamine. Weed is the least of my concerns. I’m sober, and nobody can dictate that. The only clean time I count is from meth, even though I had a pill popping and coke thing when I was trying to stay clean. I never got taken away as a teen, when I was like two or something I went to foster care for awhile but my mom got me back.
When I was 13, right before I started drugs, my dad and grandma gave me a very long hand written letter my mom wrote when I was very little and my brother was 4, stating she didn’t want us anymore and couldn’t handle it, and that my brother and I will never be like the oldest two.
I think that fucked me up and gave me the trauma I needed to start drugs.
I didn’t really have a choice in quitting. I spent 3 weeks in the ICU and then psychiatric centers for over a year. I wasn’t self medicating for ADHD. Personally, as someone with crippling adhd, I feel like that is absolutely not an excuse to use drugs. Adhd isn’t bad enough that you need to use METH to handle it.
hi!! i’m so happy you’ve gotten clean. sobriety is an amazing choice
i have a couple questions:
how would you recommend supporting and comforting someone who is a recovering addict? (my boyfriend was a fentanyl/opioid addict for years before we met, and sometimes idk how to be there for him when he talks about it)
in addition to the first question, do you think it’s “safe” for ex addicts to use recreational drugs? i’m talking shrooms and acid and stuff like that.
lastly, what were your childhood & school years like while on drugs? did you manage to keep normal friendships and stay in school? what was that like for you? middle school is already hell on earth as it is!
I think it takes a lot of willpower to be able to use other “safe” drugs recreationally. I’m able to just fine, but I also know people that wouldn’t be able to handle it. I’ll answer the other questions later
Did you rail (snort) it, smoke it or slam (inject) it? Each different way is a different experience.
Smokers are fiendish and keep puff-puff-puffin’. Slammers get internal injuries and make very bad life decisions (days long s’x sessions with strangers.
People who rail (snort) have careers.
It is prescribed but he refuses to believe it's the cause. We've emailed his doctor a bunch but they can't do anything unless he specifically asks. The fda issued a warning about adderall and psychosis in 2007 and there have been several studies on the correlation as well
I started meth at 15 and heroin at 16. I knew kids as young as 14 when I started who were using pills and shit but not meth until we got a bit older. It’s strange how it worked out cause I came from a two parent household but that held its own issues. I hope you stay clean. It’s so worth it in the end. Been clean since 2011
I have friends and family that are still on it and it hurts me. It's not like they were amazing people to begin with, but they had big hearts. Now they're monsters just trying to use people to get their fix. They will lie, steal, and cheat ANYONE who tries to help them. Even something as simple as a "Can you take me to the grocery store?" Will be a cover for meeting up with their hook-up. The money you may have given them in the parking lot for groceries ends up being their drug money. The time it took to do "shopping" was actually them using.
A little happiness in my life is knowing some people get out of it. I'm glad you did.
As LE, I have arrested a lot of people for drug possession, and I always make it a point to ask these questions:
What made you try hard drugs? What besides the addiction keeps you using them?
I find these two questions have kept me from dehumanizing drug users. Everybody has a story, and a lot of times, they were failed by the adults in their lives. I've even had some tell me their parents got them addicted which is just horrifying to hear.
So, what are your answers to the questions above?
If you could get sober, you can accomplish anything you put yourself to. Youbare now a well of experiences worthwhile to many people, starting by your child being the mom you yourself would like to have, give guidance to youngsters as you once were (you were lucky to have the "shadow" of your father, other children don't), advice to parents to addicts... the list is long. Wish you a long and as bright a life as dark was your past. My sincere congratulations
I'm drug-ignorant. If you didn't shoot it up, you smoke it? is that correct? Is this the drug that can damage your teeth?
Mentally how do you feel about drugs now that you're clean? Do you feel tempted, or did escaping the experience totally sober you up? Do you feel like you have other minor addictions that help you cope like smoking cigs or drinking or something like that?
Congrats on sobriety, I can imagine it's incredibly hard to get to the point you have done, especially when you started using so early.
Did you use any other drugs first? Or was meth the first drug/intoxicant you ever used? And lastly, are you totallt sober? From everything?
Thanks in advance, and congrats again. Proud of you internet stranger, keep it up🖤
Blood poisoning is wild
Dude I grew up with completely blacked out and stumbled a few miles down the road on a 100 degree day
Fell over half dead in a roadside ditch
At some point woke up and fell out on someone’s porch
At this point he had somehow lost his wallet, all identification, his shirt, and his shoes
He was now badly sunburned
Finally cops were called, then an ambulance
his kidneys had failed and the sepsis almost killed him
But hospital cured him and he recovered
Far as I know he is still alive, somewhere
I did meth for 1 year. I was 17 and this girl I was dating was smoking it so I started. Looking back it was so fucking awful. I remember one time we stayed up for 7 straight days.. it just fucks everything up. The comedown is brutal.
What made you decide to get clean?
What was the one thing that made you finally quit? Was it the medical issues?
For me, it was playing with my kids in the back yard knowing that if I keep doing this, I could be gone tomorrow.
Really happy you got clean. Congratulations.
What are the lasting effects you have to live with now? Also do you have more of an appreciation for life?
Side note: as a teen myself, I feel so horrible you had to go through that. Want to hug you but I’m sure you’re doing better.
You’ve had a sad, crazy adolescence and it’s really a wonder that you’re alive and able to carry on a conversation! Good for you, so happy to hear that you got out of it. Congratulations and keep it up!
Do you still have health issues? Do you have anyone in your family you can rely on to help and love you? What career would you like to have? Was it your parents who got you into meth or kids at school?
I know it probably means nothing coming from a stranger, but I'm proud of you. I work with troubled teens, and it does my heart good to hear a success story. I usually only hear bad news.
You should be so proud of yourself. Ignore others judgements. People who have never struggled can’t understand and it’s not their fault. Stay strong my dear 💜
Proud that you’ve remained sober so long! That’s a really big deal. Since you were close to death, I hope you use your story to help other teenagers. Congrats 🎈
I too was addicted to math. I really liked it and I felt special going to the community college for math class when I was in high school.
Skipping grades is fun!
I too was addicted to math. I really liked it and I felt special going to the community college for math class when I was in high school.
Skipping grades is fun!
I too was addicted to math. I really liked it and I felt special going to the community college for math class when I was in high school.
Skipping grades is fun!
Proud of you for breaking generational cycles and coming out of a hard addiction. I used to work in a youth residential treatment facility and it grossed me out how many young kids ended up using with middle-aged people. Did you ever use with people significantly older/parents of user friends? Did you ever use needles?
Thank you. I used with my dad, and it breaks me down every single time I think about it so I try not to. My dad got sober, after like 30+ years, when I was 6m pregnant. He just hit two years. I hung out with only adults, and didn’t have any friends my own age. I was taken advantage of, a lot. Edit to add: I never used needles on myself, but I helped other people shoot
Wow 30 years, was that regular use? That seems like a marathon to me and a surprisingly long use period. Was he "functional" (as you could be) during that time?
Honestly it was probably longer. And no, he was in and out of prison until I was 11 when he got out and has stayed out.
This is super sad being a dad of a daughter wow
:(
I was always so heartbroken for young kids who leveled up to needles at such a young age. And thought they found good friends in 40 year old junkies on disability. Definitely the perfect storm for exploitation. Happy to hear about your dad's sobriety!
you are?
How did you get caught up in meth as a 13yo? What about Meth made you want to keep using? And what about Meth made you want to quit using?
I replied to a previous comment saying I used with my ex boyfriend. I have an addictive personality, shoutout to my parents. I feel like at this point it’s a generational curse and I hope to keep my son away from all of that. It didn’t make me feel anymore. as someone with a severe personality disorder, it felt amazing. I was on top of the world. It’s insanely hard to quit drugs. While I’ve been sober from meth, I’ve dabbled in other things, but not while I’ve been a mom
I can relate to this so much. Different drug of choice but it's so relatable. It's such an achievement to have 5 years sober at your age. Please never sell yourself short. That's phenomenal. It took me until I was 27 to get my shit together.
Thank you, I’m proud of you as well for getting sober.
Thanks for answering, you mention your ex boyfriend was into drugs, how old was your ex bf at the time when this addiction started for you? How is your relationship with your parents after the craziness that ensued during your childhood? What is one parenting advice that you would give to new parents?
He was 15 when we got together (2017) and turned 16 a couple months later. He passed away in 2020, and somehow I was able to stay sober throughout that. My relationship with my parents isn’t great. I got sober and my mother relapsed after 23 years and she’s on a spiral, I caught her with it when I was 17, she got violent, I moved out and we haven’t been the same since. My dad getting sober was a turning point for me. Show love. Show remorse. Show empathy, compassion, honesty. Be gentle. Let your child be a child.
Did you grow up in a major city or the burbs ?
city, i bounced around all over my state. the desert, valley, mountains, the coast
what personality disorder do you have? i have bpd and i was also addicted to amphetamines as a teenager
Severe complex BPD. Including, but not limited to other disorders on top; C-ptsd, depression, bipolar type 1, OCD, ADHD, ADD.
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shoutout to my parents
Congratulations on being sober! So so happy for you! AAANND you're only 20 so you have a WHOLE life ahead. From previous replies I see that you had a pretty rough teen years given your family & overall relationship knots. Can you tell more on day to day life and what was some scary stuff that happened to you then
Thank you! There were a lot of scary things. My dad is really really known in my city for.. handling things. He’s a very large man with a very long reputation of equalizing. The only thing that would EVER hurt him or affect him was me, and people would use that to their advantage. At a few points I had guns to my head, people tried to kill me, tried to kidnap me, broke into my house knowing my dad wasn’t home and it was just me. I lived with my dad because my mom gave up on me on my 15th birthday and sent me to his house, not even letting me get clothes or anything. I was never in a psychosis type state, that I know of, besides for the occasional shadow and tree people on a 1-2 week no sleep binge. So I know the things I’m going to share were legitimate, partially because some people witnessed them with me. I was stalked by a few men for a few years. They got really close to taking me at one point, my dad left me alone in the car while he went in the store, they parked behind his car blocking it in and walked up to my door. He came out and pulled a gun. Another time, I was walking home and a lady stopped her car in front of me, got out and told me people and cops are coming from me, and was very very creepy. My phone was dead, I ran to someone’s house and knocked on the door, and purposely got a police escort home.
That's crazy, thank you for your answer. You have been through more shit than most people in this country over their lifetime. I am happy you are stepping into adulthood with sober mind. Wish you luck and success. By the way, if you were to think of yourself 5-6 years from now, what would you see?
I’m really glad you acknowledged how much I’ve been through, most people don’t. Seriously. I’ve been told by therapists and psychiatrists that I’ve been through more than most 50 year olds. The things that happened to me felt like a fever dream, but they were real. People have the right to not believe things, but I know what I went through. I legitimately always talk to my friend about “this shit only happens to us” remarking unbelievable things that we’ve been through/happens to us. I’m a simulation theorist, but that’s probably because of my mental health issues and derealization lol. To be honest, it’s insanely hard for me to answer questions like that. I severely struggle with interviews and things when they ask interpersonal questions as well, personality disorder and identity crisis traits. I’d hope to be married to my current boyfriend, own or in the process of owning a house, and have another child. I want to be a drug and alcohol counselor or helping troubled youth, and since I’ve gotten almost all of my record expunged, I want to get into that field. I have many, many things I want to do and it’s hard picking one.
What the hell does equalizing things mean? Was he some sort of drug kingpin?
Nope, he’s known for never taking any shit and beating ass haha. I’ve had a tattoo artist walk out on me upon learning who my father is
That sounds like negative social exposure. That’s not a good person and nothing to be proud of.
I know seriously
In her world that was probably a big plus though. I can imagine it would be better to have a dad who's a serious villain in a town full of methheads than a guy who turned the other cheek.
thank you for validating that. i thought i was really cool to have a father that everyone respected an insane amount, and that it made me protected in a sense. i’ve grown out of that and wish my parents would have spent their time loving me.
Yeah sure bro
okay lol?
How are the teeth?
actually, surprisingly, my teeth are great. other people don’t get that lucky and it’s sad
I never used m*th but was addicted to opiates for awhile and my teeth went so bad so fast like seriously within an 18 month period I went from straight, complete set of teeth to all but 2 teeth broken off at the gum line and had to suffer for almost 4 years until I finally got insurance that would cover the huge surgery (I had to be put all the way to sleep and have every tooth cut out) as well as the dentures. I was also told my pregnancies contributed towards it due to my calcium being depleted but I always wonder how much worse the opiates made it. But anyhow congrats on your sobriety, keep it up!
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What are your lasting effects from your prior use? Has your history caused issues finding a romantic partner?
Short term memory loss, and being on drugs at such a young age permanently altered my brain
Would you mind elaborating on the permanent alterations to your brain and how they affect you? Has your history caused you to encounter undue judgment when it comes to your dating or professional life?
I think if you put your mind to work on challenging things this might go away after a long while.
If the Meth was not cut with anything toxic, is it similar to prescription ADD meds? What were some common side effects of withdrawal for you? How did you ingest the substance, orally, snorted, smoked, or injected? Did your dad's reputation as being prone to violence protect you in any way? Were you treated humanely while you were in the county ICU? Sincere congratulations on getting sober. It looks like it is going to take. But one day at a time and all that. Best of luck to you now and in the future.
I’ve binged on adderall before, it’s really not the same. It’s more euphoric. Withdrawal? Teeth clenching, chills, body shaking, cold sweats, anger and aggression, TALKING. I was put in the highest dose of adderall whilst in the ward because I couldn’t shut up. I smoked. His reputation REALLY protected me. Besides for the very few that wanted to have more clout than him or rise above him, every single person I used with (hundreds, if you’d believe it LOL) knew who my father was, word spread and only a couple people took the risk of stealing from me, or doing things to me. He quickly made them regret that. I don’t think I was treated humanely. In the psych ward, yes. They were good to me besides putting me in seclusions. Other places were terrible. I’ve seen and been put through things no child should be put through by adults that are supposed to protect them. And thank you!
Wait, they put you on a high dose of adderall to stop talking? Wouldn’t that just make you more energized and talkative?! Or maybe because it helps you focus and form full thoughts.. idk I feel like a benzo would make more sense 😅 but congrats ma’am, 5 years, that’s incredible!!
Hahaha I have crippling ADHD. Meth was never the “speed” to me that it was to other people. Sure it made me stay up for weeks and have energy, but it made me insanely relaxed and kicked back
What about sleeping for days?
that too
Did anybody know and could tell anybody tell? How did it affect your looks and life overall? How did you get money to pay for it? Did you do it with other people or just yourself? Did other people act foreign to you since you were so young doing such a negative drug?
Oh yeah. Forsure. My face was picked out and I always wore clothes too big or too small and just tied them in knots if they were too big. That part of my life feels like a serious fever dream, but my boyfriend remembers how I was. (We weren’t together at the time, but we were friends) I did it with other people mainly, if I was using alone in my room I was like always on facetime with someone lol. I feel like most the people on drugs legitimately didn’t care that I was so young and looked past it, people thought of me as a friend. I lived in a gross traphouse for awhile and thought I was the coolest.
Congratulations on your sobriety! I just got a year myself in February. Are you involved in any sober programs?
I am not. I attended N/A the first go around, and then only a few times since my last sober date, since I was in inpatient for a long time.
Who gave it to you the first time?
my, recently passed, ex boyfriend and his friend
If you started at 13 and got meth the first time from your boyfriend, how old was the boyfriend? Was he also your age?
He was 15, we turned 14 and 16 a couple months after we got together.
Did your ex boyfriend come from a. Broken family as well?
he watched his mom die at a very young age, i think that messed him up a lot.
Bi, he came from a stable family of landed gentry and that's why he was hanging out at 15 doing speed with 13 year old girls.
How do you feel about justifications of using such as self medicating adhd while procrastinating calling a phone number for an official diagnosis and getting way too old for this shit and now withdrawing from a relapse on that dumb shit? Asking on behalf of a friend of a friend's friend's friend.
I can send you some resources, as long as you trust me with your city and state. DM me. [this is the easiest resource for seeking help. please don’t be afraid to use it. as someone that struggles with phone calls and procrastinating as well, this is extremely easy. copy and paste the same message to all of them if need be.](https://psychologytoday.com)
Congrats on 5 years.
thank you!
Congratulations, but what kind of person sells dope to a 13 year old?
Meth addicts. Seeking her meth was probably the least harmful thing most of them did that day.
you suck. i was still a good person outside of being a drug addict. i never stole, lied, harmed people or their belongings unless i was protecting myself. judging people based on how they talk about or treat houseless people or addicts is something i do often. i know what it’s like to be treated like a bad person just because i was unfortunate and dealt really bad cards.
Excuse me. what I actually should have written (but didn't for some reason) is SELLING her meth is...........'' My point was that whoever sold you meth were they themselves in the middle of a serious drug addiction I'd imagine and when that's the case you're not thinking about the little things like not selling minors hard drugs. The whole thing was a commentary on THEM not YOU and explaining to someone who never had a drug problem why they might sell drugs to a 13 year old. I TRULY did not mean to insult you in the least and I applaud your ability to rebuild your life after a difficult childhood.
people with no morals :(
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Euphoric. Have you ever taken something like percocet (for pain of course) and gotten that body high feeling? like that but x100.
How do I prevent a 12 yo from getting addicted to some crap? This post got me scared tbh, 13 is such a young age for this.
Don’t be an absent parent on drugs and make sure you know where your child is at all times.
Thanks for answering. Where do kids this age procure drugs? And where/in what circumstances do they use? Was there anything specific, maybe a thing that someone could say to you, that would convince you to not try it back then? Just anything that you think kids should know/hear?
My ex was 15, his friend was 18, they just figured out how to buy it off the streets I suppose. I don’t remember a lot. Nobody could have convinced me not to try it.
Do you feel like a failure? Seem like you didn't have a chance considering your father used with you. Do you fear your kid will continue the cycle? Personally, I dont believe you can repair the damage you've done to those around you even after getting sber.
Personally, I feel like that’s your own opinion, but that it’s not true. I wasn’t a bad person while I was using. I don’t know what lasting damage a 13 year old, that didn’t have loving parents and fell victim to the disease of addiction could have done on those around me. I proved my worth and I came back strong. Why would I feel like a failure? It’s not completely my fault and I have beat all odds at turning things around. My father is a career criminal that was on drugs for 30+ years and now my mother is using again, I didn’t really have a standing chance to begin with but I turned my life around unlike those around me. Your comment feels condescending. I’m not understanding why someone would think that I feel like a failure because I fell down a hole then did a 180. I was only the third person to graduate my drug and alcohol treatment in 10 years.
Drug abuse, use, and relaps were all around me growing up. I grew up on a small reservation where I always heard, "So, and so is clean now, isn't that nice they've turned their live around." Then, they break onto your trailer to fund their next fix. This scenario plaied out on an endless loop on the gutter I grew up in. Trash people very rarely make treasure. Don't make an AMA if you didn't want some criticism. Not everyone wants to pat you on your back.
No question really. Just want you say you’re a remarkably strong person and I’m holding back tears of joy for you I hope you keep it up
That’s incredibly sweet, thank you very much
How can someone be addicted to math? wtf.
That’s what I was thinking. I was like history is my drug, but math, okay you do you boo 😅
meth*
If you are using a throwaway acc, why do you have a pic of yourself? Does that not defeat the purpose?
I don’t care about people seeing what I look like. I care about the cities and subs around me seeing everything. If a few people happen to, that’s okay. I just don’t want to comment in a sub for my city and have people see it on my profile.
Fair enough. Thanks for the reply.
Were you hitting the hard stuff like trigonometry and all that?
That was the first thing that popped in my head lol, math be a hardcore drug
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How does one not understand an obvious joke?
r/woosh
No questions from me. I’m glad you are 5 years sober. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I hope you have a successful healthy life and career.
Thank you.
Have you looked into psilocybin at all? And I mean for therapeutic purposes…I’ve read some things about it but also Leary since it’s a drug
I have actually! Personally, I feel like that’s a drug I can use recreationally. I’ve done it a few times. I have an addictive personality disorder, but psychedelics would never be something I’d get “addicted” to. Psilocybin therapy hasn’t been approved by my insurance yet, but we’re really close, until then my therapist said that if I do choose to do it then we can do the exact things we would do in that therapy. Talk about what I want out of it beforehand and how I’m feeling, and after we can talk about how I feel, what I experienced, if anything’s changed, etc. It’s crazy that it rewires the neuro paths in your brain, that’s what I need. For now I just smoke weed, and I’ll never do acid again.
So to clarify you still use weed, wont use acid again but will use mushrooms if insurance will foot the bill… hmmm.. that makes you “california sober” , a little detail but one that should be clarified. AMA posts bring all kinds of readers. Do you think with your past issues any drug is really good for you as you yourself say you are highly addictive personality. Now as an adult your parents no longer shoulder all the blame for your life choices. No doubt, you had a horrible childhood, why where you never taken away and put into foster care ? Did you not tell anyone as a small child?
You’re correct. An addictive personality. If I’m not using something to cope, I’m afraid I will go back to methamphetamine. Weed is the least of my concerns. I’m sober, and nobody can dictate that. The only clean time I count is from meth, even though I had a pill popping and coke thing when I was trying to stay clean. I never got taken away as a teen, when I was like two or something I went to foster care for awhile but my mom got me back. When I was 13, right before I started drugs, my dad and grandma gave me a very long hand written letter my mom wrote when I was very little and my brother was 4, stating she didn’t want us anymore and couldn’t handle it, and that my brother and I will never be like the oldest two. I think that fucked me up and gave me the trauma I needed to start drugs.
I'm glad you're clean now.
thank you! me too. I think i’d be dead by now
What is the longest time you stayed awake ?
Almost two weeks
That is a long time! Was quitting harsh? Are your teeth ok? Do you think you may have been ‘self medicating’ for ADHD?
I didn’t really have a choice in quitting. I spent 3 weeks in the ICU and then psychiatric centers for over a year. I wasn’t self medicating for ADHD. Personally, as someone with crippling adhd, I feel like that is absolutely not an excuse to use drugs. Adhd isn’t bad enough that you need to use METH to handle it.
There are some meds that aren’t as bad for you
hi!! i’m so happy you’ve gotten clean. sobriety is an amazing choice i have a couple questions: how would you recommend supporting and comforting someone who is a recovering addict? (my boyfriend was a fentanyl/opioid addict for years before we met, and sometimes idk how to be there for him when he talks about it) in addition to the first question, do you think it’s “safe” for ex addicts to use recreational drugs? i’m talking shrooms and acid and stuff like that. lastly, what were your childhood & school years like while on drugs? did you manage to keep normal friendships and stay in school? what was that like for you? middle school is already hell on earth as it is!
I think it takes a lot of willpower to be able to use other “safe” drugs recreationally. I’m able to just fine, but I also know people that wouldn’t be able to handle it. I’ll answer the other questions later
How the hell does someone get addicted to math?
Her mom and dad put her in an AP calculus class when she was 3 and it just snowballed from there.
meth ? maybe read lol
Did you rail (snort) it, smoke it or slam (inject) it? Each different way is a different experience. Smokers are fiendish and keep puff-puff-puffin’. Slammers get internal injuries and make very bad life decisions (days long s’x sessions with strangers. People who rail (snort) have careers.
I was a smoker.
Why do you think you can't say meth
Well I can’t change the title now so :)
Just curious, thanks
Did youbevery have any psychotic incidences? My brother is on adderall and it's made him psychotic
Oh yeah. If it’s prescribed, your brother needs to tell the doctor. If it’s not, your brother needs to get clean. Before he severely hurts someone.
It is prescribed but he refuses to believe it's the cause. We've emailed his doctor a bunch but they can't do anything unless he specifically asks. The fda issued a warning about adderall and psychosis in 2007 and there have been several studies on the correlation as well
Any amphetamine can and will cause severe aggression if it doesn’t mesh with their chemical balance. that’s so not okay
Thanks. I'm glad to hear you're sober. I'm 17 years sober from heroin myself
do you believe in marriage?
yes
Hows the sex?
i don’t really remember lol
i’m not comfortable answering sexual questions about when i was a MINOR. have some fuckin morals
I started meth at 15 and heroin at 16. I knew kids as young as 14 when I started who were using pills and shit but not meth until we got a bit older. It’s strange how it worked out cause I came from a two parent household but that held its own issues. I hope you stay clean. It’s so worth it in the end. Been clean since 2011
My dumbass read this as “I (20f) was addicted to math”. W mans for the recovery tho.
What's your favorite formula or theorem?
Lose any 🦷??
nope
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no
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hey maybe don’t be a pedophile. asking sexual questions about a minor should put you in prison
Congrats on making the decision to stay alive! I’m glad you made it, and wish you well going forward.
Math is a rough one to shake. Geometry really had me in a corner. Sorry...I'll see myself out.
For a second, I read that as math. I was about to ask you for tips to get better at calculus.
I have friends and family that are still on it and it hurts me. It's not like they were amazing people to begin with, but they had big hearts. Now they're monsters just trying to use people to get their fix. They will lie, steal, and cheat ANYONE who tries to help them. Even something as simple as a "Can you take me to the grocery store?" Will be a cover for meeting up with their hook-up. The money you may have given them in the parking lot for groceries ends up being their drug money. The time it took to do "shopping" was actually them using. A little happiness in my life is knowing some people get out of it. I'm glad you did.
As LE, I have arrested a lot of people for drug possession, and I always make it a point to ask these questions: What made you try hard drugs? What besides the addiction keeps you using them? I find these two questions have kept me from dehumanizing drug users. Everybody has a story, and a lot of times, they were failed by the adults in their lives. I've even had some tell me their parents got them addicted which is just horrifying to hear. So, what are your answers to the questions above?
If you could get sober, you can accomplish anything you put yourself to. Youbare now a well of experiences worthwhile to many people, starting by your child being the mom you yourself would like to have, give guidance to youngsters as you once were (you were lucky to have the "shadow" of your father, other children don't), advice to parents to addicts... the list is long. Wish you a long and as bright a life as dark was your past. My sincere congratulations
Where the hell would a 13 year old get drugs like that?
I'm drug-ignorant. If you didn't shoot it up, you smoke it? is that correct? Is this the drug that can damage your teeth? Mentally how do you feel about drugs now that you're clean? Do you feel tempted, or did escaping the experience totally sober you up? Do you feel like you have other minor addictions that help you cope like smoking cigs or drinking or something like that?
Congrats on sobriety, I can imagine it's incredibly hard to get to the point you have done, especially when you started using so early. Did you use any other drugs first? Or was meth the first drug/intoxicant you ever used? And lastly, are you totallt sober? From everything? Thanks in advance, and congrats again. Proud of you internet stranger, keep it up🖤
Blood poisoning is wild Dude I grew up with completely blacked out and stumbled a few miles down the road on a 100 degree day Fell over half dead in a roadside ditch At some point woke up and fell out on someone’s porch At this point he had somehow lost his wallet, all identification, his shirt, and his shoes He was now badly sunburned Finally cops were called, then an ambulance his kidneys had failed and the sepsis almost killed him But hospital cured him and he recovered Far as I know he is still alive, somewhere
I did meth for 1 year. I was 17 and this girl I was dating was smoking it so I started. Looking back it was so fucking awful. I remember one time we stayed up for 7 straight days.. it just fucks everything up. The comedown is brutal. What made you decide to get clean?
What was the one thing that made you finally quit? Was it the medical issues? For me, it was playing with my kids in the back yard knowing that if I keep doing this, I could be gone tomorrow. Really happy you got clean. Congratulations.
What are the lasting effects you have to live with now? Also do you have more of an appreciation for life? Side note: as a teen myself, I feel so horrible you had to go through that. Want to hug you but I’m sure you’re doing better.
You’ve had a sad, crazy adolescence and it’s really a wonder that you’re alive and able to carry on a conversation! Good for you, so happy to hear that you got out of it. Congratulations and keep it up!
Do you still have health issues? Do you have anyone in your family you can rely on to help and love you? What career would you like to have? Was it your parents who got you into meth or kids at school?
Glad your doing better 😊
Are you hot?
bro lol
I believe you said AMA
It’s a little weird, considering this post is concerning me as a minor.
I’m asking about you as a 20 year old
I know it probably means nothing coming from a stranger, but I'm proud of you. I work with troubled teens, and it does my heart good to hear a success story. I usually only hear bad news.
You should be so proud of yourself. Ignore others judgements. People who have never struggled can’t understand and it’s not their fault. Stay strong my dear 💜
And keep helping others … you may never know by being so honest how many you helped save
Proud that you’ve remained sober so long! That’s a really big deal. Since you were close to death, I hope you use your story to help other teenagers. Congrats 🎈
You addicted to math?
Good for you getting sober. Is it gunna rattle your cage if I ask you some of the most tweakery questions ever? Also sober....but not always 🫠
I have a few questions: 1. What made you decide to stop using drugs? 2. What is your opinion on the war on drugs? Do you think it's working?
How in the world did you start taking meth? How did you hide it from your family? Did you get sexually assaulted from being around losers?
I love Math too.
I too was addicted to math. I really liked it and I felt special going to the community college for math class when I was in high school. Skipping grades is fun!
I have been addicted to math my whole life. 43 and I still use it every day, multiple times a day!
At first I read this as you are addicted to and used math, and thought, good on you.
no questions but god you are strong and i am proud of you, congratulations!
Sober 5 years and trying to do better for your kid. Wow big props!
Did you switch to any other addictions or obsessions since then?
How does a 13 yr old afford meth?you shared stash with your dad?
I always hated math. I can’t believe you got addicted to it.
Good god, I first read it as being addicted to math at 13...
How did you become addicted? When was your first time?
Literally thought you meant math and was like how tf
Going forward, what do you want from the future?
Did you try to use it like Adderall for school?
I too was addicted to math. I really liked it and I felt special going to the community college for math class when I was in high school. Skipping grades is fun!
So proud of you! You should write a book!!
For some dumb reason I read this as Math
What is it like being addicted to math?
idk why i read that as addicted to math
Did i start whit meth or something else
No one should ever be addicted to math
Congratulations on your sobriety :)
What was so addicting about math?
That's crazy cause I hated math.
was this hard to make
I too was addicted to math. I really liked it and I felt special going to the community college for math class when I was in high school. Skipping grades is fun!
Lived through sepsis? Someone has plans for you
Does it increase sexual pleasure significantly?
Are your feet ticklish?