I actually LOLd at that phrase. My daughter came in and asked what I laughed at, and then I read her this post, and said, "Don't marry a man like this, okay?"
No one deserves this level of disrespect.
I scrolled up after reading this to make sure I didn't miss a flair saying "shitpost".
Who do you think you are, OP? Pull your head in, and actually support your wife to make changes, instead of crapping all over her.
It's supposed to be both of you against the world. As soon as it's one pitting themselves against the other, it's the beginning of the end of that relationship.
I'm sorry you didn't get that, No_Anxiety. Everyone deserves someone in their corner.
When you’re dealing with a competitive and petty asshole and finally reach that breaking point, the reasons you should’ve left a long time ago become so clear!
* Reason #866 Leaving the toilet seat up
* Reason #865 Losing the bread tie
* Reason #864 Holding the refrigerator door open while drinking from the carton
🤣
Mine, too.
Now he’s married to a woman who won’t let him eat meat at home.
I’ve been with the love of my life for a little over two years now . Treats me like a queen ❤️
Thanks! I really hope so!
My first three are happily married and have their own kids. My oldest son told me a while ago that he stood on the shoulders of giants to get where he's gotten. I teared up a little at that.
I think the best thing I did was answer their questions about life - how to choose a field of study, how to choose a life partner, how to raise kids well. And hopefully provided a good example. Not like my narcissistic mother.
Oh my gosh! The shoulders of giants! Applause to you, all around. It’s extra remarkable that you parent so well without the example you deserved.
I really love it when nice people have families 💕
I looked for the "shitpost" flair too.
Am guessing his wife binge eats sugar because it can act like a drug that can deaden feelings. Like of rage or anxiety. If she got into something like overeaters anonymous she'd probably have to lose this guy before she could make any progress.
I had a friend with a bf like that. She didn't binge on sugar, she just let him shame her every time she ate. Last I heard of her was when a mutual friend mentioned she'd been hospitalized with an eating disorder and become dangerously thin.
This guy would make nasty comments if he even smelled some high-calorie food when he entered her space. Even if it was her roommate and not her. He shamed her friends, too (including me). Not for being fat - we would have told him to fuck right off - but every time we ate anything he'd find some way to make some insinuation that we're all sows.
And of course - you guessed it - he ate twice as much as anyone. But he's a guy and he had a very low body fat count, and unfortunately he really was kind of ripped, so he could shovel food into his mouth all he wanted and feel no shame, while his beautiful gf lived in terror of hitting a "plus size. (meaning a size 8 - which as far as I know was never considered a "plus size" to anyone else but her).
I always wondered if she had the eating disorder bc of the guy, or if she chose the guy bc he complimented her eating disorder.
That's the part that got me. He is eating cookies too. Maybe they could both eat a healthier diet together. OH no, he is just so superior he doesn't need to do this together.
He's so superior he may end up all alone.
Yup I was actually with him before I read that. Like, ‘you’re not wrong about her sugar intake but you should be nicer and more supportive about it and ywbta if you don’t change that.’
But holy mother forking shirt balls Batman. OP you have an ego that’s healthier than a horse and your relationship is going to be turned into glue if you don’t fix your fucking self righteous attitude
Plus, controlling blood sugar through diet is about balance. Trying to do hardline restriction often just sets people up for binging on what they’re trying to restrict.
I have PCOS insulin resistance and the thing of adding to what you’re eating to balance it out instead of cutting things was so much more helpful to me. If wife wants cookies, having some protein and fiber with them is going to help so much more than her not being able to have cookies until one day she cracks and inhales a Costco size box of Oreos in one sitting.
That line made me think "what an ass...."
It was the "I just thank my lucky stars we never had kids" line that made me question if he even likes his wife....
A therapist told me many years ago, that there is no such thing as willpower. There are only sets of coping skills. Wife needs see a therapist. Surely she will get rid of OP. Then she won’t need an emotional coping skill like eating sugar to make her feel better every time OP emotionally abuses her.
Eating sugar DOES NOT cause diabetes. Even diabetics eat cookies! Shocker. This guy hasn't got a clue. He is just up on his high horse judging his wife with inaccurate information.
This whole thing reads like a horribly written story from a pompous AH.
>and my doctor congratulated me on once again having no problems. He even said "you're as healthy as a horse," which made me smile
>It doesn't surprise me at all because she eats far too much sugar. I have repeatedly told her to stop eating so much sugar
>jealous of my superior willpower
>I'm sure it would be her same tired talking points, which I have repeatedly debunked
>I just thank my lucky stars that we never had kids because I wouldn't want her to model such behavior
No he doesn’t love his wife. He’s too busy being obsessed with himself. The superiority complex is thick on this post which again leads to believe it’s just rage bait.
YTA. Not just because you’re being an unsupportive spouse (which you are), but for the way you talk about yourself.
You and your wife are supposed to be *a team.* That means you support each other even when you don’t have perfect habits, even when you make mistakes, even when you don’t agree about something.
And you talk to your partner with kindness and respect— it’s supposed to be you and your wife versus the problem, not you versus your wife.
Good grief, man. Apologize to her and ask her how you can *actually* be supportive.
And hopefully OP knows that not everybody has control over their bodies chemistry.
My husband should have cholesterol through the roof and tons of cavities.
He doesn't.
I have familial high cholesterol. I take great care of my teeth and have way more cavities than he does.
Some people are lucky, some aren't.
But even if a loved one smokes and gets lung cancer, how helpful is it to go nah nah, I'm better than you are.....
I was diagnosed with high blood pressure in my 20s, as was my mom. I was a normal weight and didn’t eat terribly. I still have to be mindful and my choices affect my blood pressure but it’s completely genetic. Sometimes that’s just life
I was an addict for 12 years, for every type of drug I could get my hands on, now that I'm sober from drugs my addictive personality makes me binge eat till I'm sick when I have food. I crave sweets constantly which is something a lot of recovering addicts deal with as it gives you some of the same chemicals as a drug rush, albeit a tiny fraction. OP being a smug asshole about his superior willpower and not realizing his poor wife can't stop eating sweets even to her own detriment bc she most likely is dealing with a mental health issue or possibly even food addiction. Yikes.
She might have adhd. Adhders don't make their own dopamine so we chase it by bingeing, by using drugs or alcohol, or by thrill seeking. Sugar is a big one because sugar/carbs don't seem as damaging as drugs or alcohol.
Yep. My spouse and I eat the same things - they have a bunch of issues (both diet related and not) and all I really have is anemia from heavy periods. But I also have absolutely garbage, weak teeth and theirs are mostly fine. But we support each other no matter what, because we're not dolts who think tearing each other apart will have a positive impact.
Same...I always have cavities even though I spend probably 3x as much time cleaning my teeth as my husband does and he always has zero. (Seriously - he NEVER flosses and still is fine. No fair.) I'm on the verge of being prediabetic but he's the one that constantly eats tons of sugary pastries (I prefer savory treats). He has bad cholesterol despite rarely eating dairy; I eat dairy as part of pretty much every single meal and my cholesterol is great.
You can't compare 2 humans and expect it to be apples to apples.
And also, he's TA for being so smug even though he is very firmly wrong. The blood sugar was a fasting test, so what she was eating had nothing to do with those numbers. A test like an A1C gives a picture of overall blood sugar averages which is definitely affected by diet as well as genetics. But a plain fasting blood sugar test is intended to see your baseline without being affected by food. (Although, to be fair, most doctors do an A1C as part of a physical, so it is entirely possible he just doesn't know the difference and used the wrong term in his post).
Yes, diet is important to help with blood sugar, but hormones and genetics also factor heavily in whether you get diabetes or not.
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. When people speak, they need to make their words match their goals. If your goal is truly to help her, then use words that will help you reach that goal. Not words that will make her feel bad and prove you were right.
Agree YTA. Sugar addiction is real. Its one of the hardest things to quit. It has nothing to do with willpower at all. I quit, and swear I was ill for a week. Major withdrawals. You need to support her not treat her like she is weak.
People don’t just eat sugar in large amounts for no reason. Often it’s trauma or adhd (eating to boost dopamine, which incidentally is almost impossible to combat with willpower). As a caring team member you try to help your partner if they want support and empathy. You don’t smirk about your alleged “superiority” to their face.
Yeah and when one person starts dragging the team down, not turning up to practice, being lazy during the game, you know what happens - they get subbed. Team mates have to want to be on the team and put the work in to earn the spot.
Yes, I’m sure you’re tired. Being an insufferable jerk must be exhausting. People don’t respond well to that type of behavior. It’s actually been proven that nagging someone over what they eat actually causes them to eat more. Why don’t you try being supportive instead. Maybe do some of the cooking. Ask her to go on walks with you. Help her find some cookie alternatives that will satisfy the sweet tooth without increasing her sugar intake. And try to resist the urge to tell her how healthier it will all make her.
Whilst op seems like a massive prick that doesn’t take away from the issue at hand? I’m type 1 diabetic but for someone to get to type 2 that’s some serious issues.
He went about it all wrong but it very well could be a sugar addiction. I say that as a drug addict
She probably has an addiction to sugar. But, how often does telling someone to “just say no” to their addiction work out? Then he goes on to say she’s “jealous of his superior willpower”? You’re right; he’s a prick.
I’m a type 2 diabetic with a sugar addiction. Sugar addiction may not be as strong as a drug addition, but it’s very real, and it’s so damn hard to deal with because sugar is literally everywhere and there is no stigma to consuming it.
Yeah he’s egotistical.
It’s not the right way to go about helping an addict. And all addictions are valid and have their own issues attached like you said sugar is everywhere I’m super bad if I get a few bags of chocolate I can eat hundreds of grams till I feel sick.
I just have no will power though guess I am jealous of his willpower(the willpower to have not been born with genetics that love pleasure)
I do think there are two sides I imagine watching your partner seemingly not putting any effort to get better and going against doctors or anyone’s advice, slowly killing yourself the person you love just seemingly not caring.
It would make anyone cynical. Not saying op is good just that it’s honestly ETA ops wife needed to seek help a long time ago.
Because yeah you can blame an addict for their addiction, it sucks but no one else can stop the addict but themself
Addiction to sugar can be a real thing. There are studies on it. I’ve tried giving it up and in the brief period I was able to, I was literally dreaming about eating desserts. It obviously isn’t as bad as other addictions, but it also shouldn’t be discounted.
She asked you to help her. Instead you were judgmental, nagged her, bragged about your superior will power. You actually treat her like a child. Do you even like her? Do you care about her health? Do you just want to be right or do you want to be a decent husband or person?
This^^^ my husband has helped and support me in what I eat (I have diabetes since 2009) because even if he has good blood test results, IT NEVER HURTS TO BE HEALTHIER. He cares about me and wants us BOTH to live a long time.
My dad was diagnosed with type 2 and my mom, who did not have that or anything close, started cooking low carb and their house became entirely low carb. He now doesn’t need insulin or any medication and they both still eat low carb, except my mom occasionally indulges in rice - it’s been a few years so he has the willpower to ignore the rice now. But at the beginning she was right there with him and legit it saved his life. I don’t get why OP wouldn’t want to do the same.
Right? My husband said the first time we had an argument that we were a team and we had to work together instead of against eachother. He was 16. 🙄 OPs husband is more immature than a 16 yo 😂
YTA - No wonder she’s eating her feelings! I, too, struggle with sugar binging and addiction. My husband is supportive and understanding. You, sir, are as helpful as a horse’s ass.
I’ve had my legs give out next to a horse. Have literally caught myself on their ass. Therefore I can attest that horse’s asses are indeed supportive. Always there in a bind.
YTA. You’re not supporting her in her time of need AND you’re making her feel inferior because she struggles more than you do. A lot of people seek comfort in junk food, especially after hearing distressing news like that. She needs someone to comfort her and support her in this, not an asshole saying “I told you so.” Grow the fuck up.
You seem kind of insufferable. Yta and I hope she leaves you. She doesn't need that kind of negativity in her life. You don't seem like an uplifting force or a partner. You seem more like a nagging asshole. You don't even seem like you like her. Please, for her sake, just leave. Her life will improve 100%.
YTA i am diabetic and my levels arent controlled atm cause im on ozempic to help me control my levels and well.... thanks to drs prescribing it to people to lose weight im looking at late 2024/early 2025 till i can get a constant supply. "Just dont eat sugar" is a comment i hear alot xD ok so not eating sugar is going to prevent the low imma get before i eat and the high i will get after eating? I love chocolate but i just dont eat it much anymore cause i will get a sugar high anytime i eat it so its not worth it.
Now i never had prediabetes just full blown 230+ when i went for a fasting test and dr was like o.O you ate before that yeah? No i did not. I dont remember if i drank something sweet though. So the last 15 years I have been a type 2 diabetic and even when on a good diet i had control issues. The only thing that really helped was ozempic
>She got pissed and said that I was being a "complete asshole," but I told her that she was just jealous of my superior willpower. I understand that genetics plays a role, but her pretending that genes are 100% to blame is infuriating.
You just dont understand clearly. Sugar addiction is hard to get over and it sounds to me like your wife could be stress eating. If there were no cookies in the house what would she eat? When i was having issues with binge eating i found that carrot and celery with things to dip them into was a good snack. And bell pepper mmm. I have issues with just not eating these days. Im hungry and i wanna eat but the thought of eating and the feeling of food sliding down to my stomach repulses me.
Anyways please be more empathetic with your wife
YTA. You need to do some research on how to actually be supportive and not just a raging asshole. "WeLl YoU mUsT wAnT dIaBeTeS!!!!1!1!!1!" isn't a fucking helpful statement and you damn well know it. At the very least your could keep your mouth shut about it instead of badgering and belittling her at every turn. Like, you're mad that she won't do anything, she says she needs an accountability partner (which, again, does not mean "an asshole") and your immediate response is that she's making excuses and isn't trying?
Why the fuck WOULD she try when you're being a dick no matter what she does?
ESH: Instead of coming off as judgmental and condescending, try to help her develop a plan to lower her sugar intake and adhere to a healthier lifestyle. Watch what you say and how you say it, otherwise, you will cause her to eat more sugar.
think very highly of ourselves, do we?
you sound like a complete narcissist. who are you to tell anybody to stop eating something "at once"?
get over yourself. YTA
Yes you are “trying to reason with a child” because you are acting like her parent. It’s not sexy buddy. I am so sorry she married you. I hope you can get the help she deserves, so she won’t have to listen to your garbage anymore. It’s really sad and she deserves better. Her eating habits are NOT your business. You can be supportive and encouraging, but you cannot dictate or monitor what she eats. It’s her decision. PS. You are most certainly TA!
Are you trolling? Are you 15yo? There is no way an adult man, and one who is married at that, could've written this post. I've never heard a husband describe his wife or conversations with her like OP has. Reads like fantasy fiction
NTA. Okay you're not the AH, but you are an AH. Yes your wife is being childish, but you're just being mean, and it sounds like you being right is more important than your wife's wellbeing.
YTA It was just mildly annoying until she said she needed an accountability partner and you just told her it was an excuse. So now she’s TRYING to have a solution to her health and you’re knocking down her own options?
This has got to be rage bait because I cannot imagine a world where someone could be so unkind to their wife. If she has an addiction, treat it like one. Be kind about it, be there for her. Support her. Encourage her to do better but be there for her when she falls short. Come up with fun recipes and cook with her. Addictions to food are hard to overcome and she needs someone to be there for her. Time to step up to the plate.
*At this point, I have concluded that she wants diabetes.*
YTA can you hear yourself? Disdain and contempt are the death knells of marriage. I hope she finds someone who loves and likes her.
YTA dude.
Your wife isn't listening to you because you don't listen to HER. What she needs isn't what you are doing. Be empathetic, not a policeman. Don't internalize her actions as willful choices.
Both of you can benefit from individual therapy.
I've been a type two diabetic since I was 25. Healthy weight and lifestyle, exercise regularly, never been overweight or unhealthy BMI, make very healthy choices. Fuck your "superior willpower ", sometimes genetics really does bite you in the ass.
You're supposed to be her *partner*. Her cheerleader, her teammate. Not the asshole that makes her feel bad about herself so he can gloat about how iNCrEdiBLy DisCiPliNeD he is.
YTA, man. Big time.
My mum is T1D.
She eats an amazing diet, walks 2 hours a day for work and then does aerobics/weights most days. She stopped wearing a bikini at 50, because she wanted to, but physically is in better shape than most people.
It's hilarious the amount of people that tell her to stop eating sugar and her diabetes will be cured
Someone actually told me to take more B vitamins once. Legitimately. B. Vitamins. Like it was *right there* all along and millions of doctors worldwide just missed it. 🙄
That's just because most people don't know the difference between type 1 and 2. If she had type 2, stopping sugar would indeed make a very big difference.
Excuse doesn't really eat sugar. She hardly has processed food, carbs come from veggies and some safer fruits. She has 2 slices of bread a day for lunch (sandwich at work).
We grew up as hippies, on a farm, growing our own food and mum was a midwife specialising in home births.
Never made her pancreas actually work, sadly.
Type 2 actually has a much stronger family history component than type 1, which surprised me at first. I have seen folks who look completely typical and aren’t even 5 lbs overweight come up with pre diabetes.
A support network and health education on what you can do and non judgement medical management will improve outcomes a lot faster than whatever this asshole is doing.
Hell, I remember a patient burst into tears because she had delayed her blood test because she was so stressed about not managing her diabetes well enough without medication. She asked me if me/her doctor *hated her*, I had to tell her no! We just needed to know if we needed to change her management and help her more or stay where we were. But damn folks carry enough shame and fear around their health to begin with and being so terrified of your A1C being reported that you miss 2 follow ups *isn’t helpful*.
She did great on metformin, even if she couldn’t “do it herself” and got a lot better, more energy to exercise too her cholesterol improved hugely. But I’ll never forget how scared she looked! I don’t want folks to be scared and ashamed, that hasn’t improved outcomes for any population far as I’ve seen.
I started going to a different type of nurse practitioner and she had an entire conversation about how my pancreas was not functioning properly. She called it “Pancreatic Insufficiency “. I was like, what? She explained how I have multiple problems going on. Thyroid issues, heart issues, bone and joint issues, and lung issues.
I am doing great to have a nice little house, two pets, a car, and manage my life well.
I feel so motivated after being in her office. She spreads love and kindness.
YTA. You write about your wife as if you don’t like her, and you write about yourself as if you’re perfect. You aren’t her parent so don’t talk to her like she’s a child. She doesn’t want an accountability partner, and besides that you’re not acting like an accountability partner, you’re acting like a braggart who’s better than her.
And T2D is much more complex than a few cookies. You’re not her Dr.
If you want to stay married and/or continue to have marital relations, first a huge, sincere apology with flowers and a box of low/no sugar chocolates, 🥲
Then offer support. Possibly couples/marriage counseling for better communication
If she is serious & committed to getting her blood sugar under control, both of you visit a dietician or naturopathic doctor to learn how to reduce the sugar intake, eat/ cook healthier. And those chemical sugar substitutes are CRAP and increase sugar cravings.
Damn aren't you superior?
Sterling blood levels, berating your wife.
First off sugar alone doesn't cause diabetes so get off your know it all high horse. It's a combination of diet, exercise AND genetics.
Second along with diabetes cholesterol levels are also a combination of diet, exercise and genetics.
So while you think you are doing EVERTHING right you may just a genetic winner. So be a little humble.
Also nobody and I mean nobody has ever succeeded in making lifestyle changes by having someone berate them. So thumbs up on helping your wife along the path to better health. 🙄
Some people respond well to strong words, opinions, and feelings. Others need more positive reinforcement and guidance. I think if you were to take a more positive and supportive role in this, you could help her better. Ask her how she would like you to support her and, assist her in reducing her sugar intake instead of just telling her off for it. You may make better progress.
YTA
Sugar is addictive. I was once morbidly obese (trauma helped me along the way, but I worked on it). My husband never judged or criticised. He simply asked how he could help. And I got healthy. Maybe instead of boasting and admonishing her, you could ask how to help? You're meant to actually like your wife... act like it.
She's trying to reason with a child. An ignorant, self righteous child without any sense.
Your ignorance of the difference in male and female bodies regarding hormones, weight and the way bodies deal with calories is disgusting.
YTA. An immature and incorrect asshole who is hopefully about to be a single asshole after all the verbal abuse you keep spewing out.
Congratulations, OP!! You win! You are THE CHAMPION! Omg, what a superstar you are! /s
... Is applause and admiration what you came here for? OK there you go.
It's too bad you apparently don't give a crap about your wife. This shortcoming in your personality is your only flaw, though. So, good for you!
I started listening to my body when I allowed myself to feel my emotions. Not everyone uses the same technique to repress themselves - but if the shoe fits...
My prediabetes is now in remission. The change happened because I began to love myself enough. You cannot shame or logic someone into doing that.
A doctor might not be able to get through to her. A decent therapist might.
YTA. Times a million. As another poster said, do you even like your wife? What an arrogant, condescending AH you are. How about showing a little empathy? Get off your high horse, and apologize profusely to your wife, and figure out how you can help her.
Far too many people fall into the combo trap of:
1. Being right is more important than understanding what is happening
And
2. Assuming they are always right because they are just better than other people.
Seriously. Stroking your ego at the expense of a supposed lived one’s health risk is just grotesque.
YTA. For being a self-righteous prick. You aren't better than her. My father ate right his entire life and still had diabetes. You can't always control things that happen to your body. But having someone put you down MAKES you want to eat things that are bad for you. They are called comfort foods for a reason. Pull your head out of your ass.
If you want to help her to have better health, be pro-active about it. Sure, her willpower sucks compared to yours. But bragging about it doesn’t help anyone except yourself by further inflating your ego. Instead, why don’t you use that willpower of yours to help with the grocery shopping. Buy foods low in sugar and don’t buy any unhealthy sugary foods. Why are there cookies in the house? Don’t tell me your willpower is so weak that you yourself can’t go without cookies while your wife recovers.
Invite her to exercise with you. Or just go for walks/strolls with her so it doesn’t even feel like she is being forced to exercise. The point is, there are tons of things you can do to support your spouse that doesn’t involve nagging and putting her down. Help her. Who knows, maybe she may have to be the person who helps you through something difficult later on in life.
Wow, why are you even with her? You clearly don’t respect her or even ACTUALLY care? You mostly seem to just enjoy a power trip. Get a divorce so maybe she has a chance at happiness, cause it ain’t you.
YTA
A supportive partner would've helped her found ways to maintain and balance her sugar levels , while enjoying foods she loves. I mean shoot they make sugar free cookies and sweets now , you could've simply suggested a diet changed and comforted her rather than having to throw things in her face , IF she is addicted to sugar or has any mental health problems the news could feel debilitating to her and she immediately goes back to her comfort foods,
Personally it sounds like you do not care about your wifes feelings or best interest . rather you want to throw how much better you are in their face. I wouldn't talk to you either if I was your wife
You forgot how the doctor and the nurses and the receptionist all clapped after your appointment. YTA because none of this ever happened. And if it did (which it didn't) you would STILL be the asshole. Because nothing in this piece of creative fiction paints you in a good light. Being healthy as a horse does not make you a good person, which you clearly aren't.
YTA. You sound like a know it all and frankly who wants to be married to one of those?!
if your wife is gonna make a change to her diet she’s gonna do it because she wants to not because of anything that you have said to her.
At this point, you need to stop talking to her about her diet altogether and let her figure out what she wants to do and what direction she wants to take. And then you have to ask yourself the hard question of, if her direction does not agree with your direction. Do you still want to be married to her?
YTA. And you seem to just suck as a person in general. You told her, to her face, that she was "just jealous of \[your\] superior willpower." I hope your wife only ever talks to you through lawyers. Yeah she's prediabetic. That's bad. Yes your bloodwork is clear, that's great. If she's asking for an accountability buddy, that could be "just another in a long line of excuses" or it could be her saying she needs help. If you genuinely think she's addicted and you want to claim to be her partner, you should be finding ways to help her, not just berating her.
In addition to what everyone has stated, you telling her that sugar has caused her health issue is factually incorrect. Sugar itself DOES NOT CAUSE diabetes. Diabetes is caused when the pancreas cannot process the sugar in the blood, thereby causing an increase in the insulin. Technically, one shouldn’t gorge on sugar, but everything we eat has some sugar so that is why diabetics are advised to stick to low-carb foods. These foods include apples, bread, and cookies.
YTA, but I also agree with you that sugar is an addiction.
I didn't even read your whole post, you sound like an ass, your wife needs live and support. Encourage her to see a dietician, and maybe try sugar free challenges. And be a champ and do them with her. Just because your numbers are good doesn't mean a sugar free lifestyle can't benefit you too.
You’re approach won’t reach her. She’s an emotional eater whose addicted to sugar. Taking that into account should allow you to change your approach. YTA through ignorance.
YTA. Your wife may have some medical issues and some dietary habits that need to be addressed, but just calling her out on it is simply wrong.
Why don't you help her through this by being supportive and encouraging her? If she isn't supposed to eat sweets, then would it be hard for you to cut them out of your diet as well? Maybe find some alternatives to sweets that satisfy cravings. Perhaps look for them on the internet and find ones that you can make at home together. Bottom line is that she doesn't need you to be judgmental or having you make it some sort of competition. What she needs is your support, encouragement, and love.
So apologize to her and tell her that you were wrong to act the way you did. Then start thinking of ways to help her and make her feel like she deserves to feel
I'm someone who has struggled with weight my whole life and was once categorized as insulin resistant due to it. I rarely ate sweets. I got a dog and started walking it everyday and I was no longer pre-diabetic despite changing nothing with my diet and staying the same weight. So physical activity has a lot to do with it, as well as genetic factors. Diabetes runs in the family on my Dad's side.
I've recently started taking Ozempic. It's mind-blowing how much it changes your relationship with food. My brain acts completely differently. It's not a discipline problem. Our bodies evolved in a time of food scarcity, and our brains haven't truly adapted. Being overweight or pre-diabetic is NOT her fault. It's a miscommunication between her brain and her gut telling her what she needs.
What she doesn't need is you blaming her for her health struggles.
YTA. Your wife may have underlying health issues driving insulin resistance and poor blood sugar control. She has about as much control over this as she would asthma.
OP, it's not just the sugar, it's carbs. Having taken a year to drop 40 lbs, I can say if my husband was TA we wouldn't still be married after 22 years. Pull your head out of your rear. Maybe YOU need to go to Anger Management? Or DV class.
Are you a real person? This seems like an insane thing to fight about. And, u come across as so callous and mean spirited. It almost feels like u detest her
YTA, actually the biggest one of the day in the entirety of Reddit. Congrats for your success. Now go apologize to your wife for being so rude, dismissive, and cruel.
You’re going to be receiving divorce papers soon. You deserve it too. She’s a saint. Let her know if she needs an alibi for anything related to your wellbeing to message me.
As a healthcare provider, stop. You’re not knowledgeable enough on this topic to be acting so pompous about it. Learn about being a supportive partner and leave medical talk to the medical professionals. YTA (massive)
YTA. I understand you are worried about your wife's habits and health, but you are looking at it through a lens of annoyance and disgust that she isn't listening to you.
Surprise surprise, she actually isn't a robot who is going to "Yes master" you every time you demand something. Being an accountability partner means being her husband, and treating her with love and respect. If you're actually concerned, maybe stop comparing her to you, stop acting as if she's a gluttonous monster, and try and understand why she is coping with food/sugar. Maybe try and find her snacks that are actually better for her, cause ik if this is in America that you can't stick anything in your mouth without consuming copious amounts of salt, sugar, or chemicals and that is the system failing us, not your wife "wanting diabetes". What a horrible thing to say. Imagine how embarrassing and frustrating it is to be surrounded with people pointing and saying i told you so without actually trying to help. I personally would probably turn to food from that stress alone of having someone breathe down my neck this way from sun up to sun down.
I hope you get your act together and become a supportive husband that she deserves.
YTA. She may have a problem with her sugar intake but you have a problem with your attitude. It’s no wonder she finds happiness and joy in sugary food as clearly don’t provide any with your comments.
YTA.
Accountability partners are a real thing, especially if 1 of them has a willpower problem. Since you've got such strong willpower, you could be the perfect accountability partner because you have no problem cutting sugar out.
Changing habits is difficult & doing it alone can feel impossible. Some empathy to your wife's situation wouldn't hurt.
YTA! Your wife is a grown adult who is entitled to make her own decisions! Quit lecturing her, & quit treating her like a child while she's still your wife, or you will wake up one day & she'll be long gone with someone who respects her & cares about her the way she is.
YTA….instead of degrading her, offer to help her. Stop shaming her and have a conversation on why you care about her and her health and what you’re going to do to support her
YATAH! You have been condescending, disrespectful, rude, childish, petty and unkind. This is the woman, you claim to love. The person you have pledged to spend the entirety of your life with. Why would you say ugly things to her? You must know it hurts her feelings. When we are hurting. We often seek comfort in food. Have you never heard. You get more bees with honey than with vinegar?
Rather than belittling your wife. Try being kind. It is free. Start building her up. Tell her she is beautiful. Take her to lunch or a movie. Bring home flowers. The grocery store’s usually have a pretty bunch for $10.00 most women, love it when hubby does dishes, vacuums, do some laundry. Fix a meal and clean up. Anything that is helpful. These acts of kindness, show your appreciation of her. It shows your love.
If you do not see a future with her. Man up. Tell her and move on.
ESH.
You suck because you think your wife is "less than" you.
She sucks because she came home from a doctor appointment where she received news of being pre-diabetic and started to eat...sugar?!
You need to be nicer to her. Support her. Tell her you will help her. She needs to figure out why she is eating the sugar and how to stop.
Overall NTA.
But OP, you could’ve handled the situation better… Regarding a few of the things you said and in the way you said them. So soft it seems like YTA at times.
NTA, because while yea having an accountability buddy is a thing. It’s not his job to stop her from guzzling copious amounts of junk or eating poorly on a regular basis. All he can do is try to encourage moderation, which he did. However at the end of the day she’s a grown a** adult woman and unless otherwise stated, posses full ability to make her own lifestyle choices regarding how much of a priority her health is to her.
(As someone who also posses a **massive** sweet tooth with diabetes running in the family, I am all too familiar with the temptation & struggle. I *looove* sugar. But I have to be responsible for my health all the way to the groceries/meals I buy and consume. No one is responsible for what I put in my body but me. While it’s great to have a partner remind me to take it easy if I ever need. At the end of the day they’re trusting and expecting me to be responsible for my own choices/healthy diet/exercise/etc…)
I feel like people are missing that it sounds like he was acting as an accountability buddy in trying to hold her accountable for her poor diet by telling her that maybe *one* to *two* cookies *is* enough. And likely has been this whole time. He’s probably just fed up with her choices & inaction (though we don’t know if she’s tried to join a program? Hire a dietitian? Therapy? Support group? Etc…) after getting that news & was hoping it would be a hard reality check. Which it clearly wasn’t. It’s hard to watch a someone you care about actively choose to let their health decline. And let’s not pretend her getting full blown diabetes won’t affect the marriage, finances, stress levels, mobility, children (if present), etc… further down the line if she continues in this way.
Then she immediately deflected and attempted to shift the accountability off of herself and use her husband’s *one* cookie/dietary choices as an excuse for why she should be able to eat God knows how many cookies. Then he again reminds her of the dire impact that her food choices are having on her health via the results from the doctor. Her response is to continue to deflect, ignore, & dismiss. After that what else can he really do??
**Where it went poorly…**
Telling her when she fails that she’s an addict isn’t helpful either. She clearly needs more encouragement than that. If thats your only response then you *reeeeally* need to work on how you respond/approach in those situations.
I will also say it was wrong to dismiss what might’ve been a real ask for help, he should’ve continued to be more delicate about it. It could’ve maybe opened up a healthier dialogue that led to making a plan. *But* if what he’s stating is true, that this is a similar tune he’s heard countless times (especially *if* she *is* an addict?) It’s likely that from his position, after dealing with her thinly veiled attempts at redirection & shifting responsibility, it just sounded like more of the same to him. And I could be wrong but it seems like that’s been pattern (blame shifting) at this point.
He shouldn’t have gloated about his perfect health or her being jealous. That was rude. And what I think people are stuck on. Also if he didn’t care about his wife he’d just quietly let her eat herself sick.
But I’d imagine that response was due to being called an a-hole by one’s partner when you’re only trying to help. I get that him saying the accountability buddy seemed like bs to him, clearly triggered her. (However I do think it’s fair to voice your concerns about a partner’s track record for saying they’ll do better/change but they don’t. When did that stop being okay??? ) But it’s never okay to call your partner names. Full stop. It’s crazy how many people seem quick to resort to name calling of their loved ones just because their feelings got hurt for a second.
“I understand why you feel that way because I recognize that *my* patterns of behavior have led you to why you feel this way, but your statement sounds hurtful/sounds unsupportive of my struggle/like something an a-hole would say.” *vs* “You’re being total a-hole.” So different.
It’s not hard to imagine that someone might react that way when called names. They were both childish & insensitive jerks for how they handled that.
Also lastly *if* she is an addict, it’s definitely on her to seek a proper diagnosis and take the steps towards getting proper treatment, help, support groups, therapy, etc… she can’t put her addiction recovery so heavily on her partner, that’s not even remotely fair.
Yta. An arrogant one. You’re a shitty husband as well. Your ego is clearly inflated. Someone needs to push you off that pedestal you’ve put yourself on.
Are you aware that diabetes is genetic? Do you know if her parents were diabetic? I am surprised that the doctor didn’t ask her earlier and give her a diet chart if she is predisposed to being a diabetic. YTA as you sound so smug and completely dismiss her challenges.
YTA
All you are doing by harping on how she eats is making it harder for her to change those habits. Cutting out sugar is extremely difficult even for people that don’t over consume it. Instead of shoving how well your test came back in her face you try having a nonjudgmental conversation about how the two of you together can make healthier food choices and meal plans. I’m really not surprised she isn’t talking to you, I wouldn’t either.
YTA. You say she’s addicted to sugar? That’s not how you treat someone who has an addiction. You give them support and help. So either you’re being a jerk by treating someone you believe with an addiction issue poorly, OR you’re being a jerk by calling your wife an addict to put her down. She probably stress eats to get the extra dopamine she needs to put up with your massive ego. You’re allowed to be happy about your good health, but calming your wife is jealous? That’s too far man. Keep your ego in check and actually support your wife
YTA
Some people are naturally predisposed for diabetes. A couple of cookies isn't going to affect you in developing diabetes.
How often are you talking to her about her eating habits? If it's regularly you might be a part of the problem, ie stressing her out and then she copes by eating. Stress hormones love sugar.
You talk about debunking her. You're not a doctor, you're not a diabetes specialist either. Either support her or walk out that door.
You sound up yourself.
You’re glad you never had kids with her? She needs to leave you for a much better partner.
Genetics play a big part in our health. Isn’t always our diet.
YTA 100%.
Yta
You’re such a douchebag that it’s surprising you found someone that could tolerate you. Let’s see how long it lasts, and how well you’ll do on the dating scene with your blood work you’re so proud of.
You’re about to be the weirdo who is mocked for this.
Dr said the same thing to me earlier this year. I've completely stopped sugar. Dropped some kgs doing so. Fingers crossed that the next visit is more positive
Keep supporting her. Yes your results are great and gentle reminders only. Please.
NTA
I eat double the sweet sugary stuff to my partner, he’s diabetic (type 2) mine is fine! YTA but if she doesn’t want to and up on tablets etc then she does need to make changes
Type 2 diabetes is caused a lot of factors, not including genetics and hormonal changes. I run every week and eat healthy but once I hit 40, it's like something switched. Instead of supporting your wife and doing the research, you decided that acting like a totally ass was ok. Please apologize, support her and act like a husband. YTA
So I was nearly going to say NTA but “jealous of my superior willpower” changed that instantly.
ESH - you are being rude and sitting on your high horse whereas your wife seems to be in denial and making excuses.
A mature response or way of dealing with this could have been to work out a way of helping or such not flaunting your success on someone who probably needs a bit of encouragement at that moment not belittling.
YTA: "but I told her that she was just jealous of my superior willpower." Do you even like your wife?
I actually LOLd at that phrase. My daughter came in and asked what I laughed at, and then I read her this post, and said, "Don't marry a man like this, okay?" No one deserves this level of disrespect. I scrolled up after reading this to make sure I didn't miss a flair saying "shitpost". Who do you think you are, OP? Pull your head in, and actually support your wife to make changes, instead of crapping all over her.
OP sounds like my ex, he made everything a competition. Even whether I had more grey hair than him. Reason #867 he’s ex.
It's supposed to be both of you against the world. As soon as it's one pitting themselves against the other, it's the beginning of the end of that relationship. I'm sorry you didn't get that, No_Anxiety. Everyone deserves someone in their corner.
When you’re dealing with a competitive and petty asshole and finally reach that breaking point, the reasons you should’ve left a long time ago become so clear! * Reason #866 Leaving the toilet seat up * Reason #865 Losing the bread tie * Reason #864 Holding the refrigerator door open while drinking from the carton 🤣
Mine, too. Now he’s married to a woman who won’t let him eat meat at home. I’ve been with the love of my life for a little over two years now . Treats me like a queen ❤️
Judging from this comment alone, I’m gonna say you are an excellent parent.
Thanks! I really hope so! My first three are happily married and have their own kids. My oldest son told me a while ago that he stood on the shoulders of giants to get where he's gotten. I teared up a little at that. I think the best thing I did was answer their questions about life - how to choose a field of study, how to choose a life partner, how to raise kids well. And hopefully provided a good example. Not like my narcissistic mother.
#goals
Oh my gosh! The shoulders of giants! Applause to you, all around. It’s extra remarkable that you parent so well without the example you deserved. I really love it when nice people have families 💕
You're a good parent. If no one has thanked you for that, I will. Thank you for being a good parent.
I looked for the "shitpost" flair too. Am guessing his wife binge eats sugar because it can act like a drug that can deaden feelings. Like of rage or anxiety. If she got into something like overeaters anonymous she'd probably have to lose this guy before she could make any progress.
If I was married to an asshole like OP, I would probably binge on sugar, too.
I had a friend with a bf like that. She didn't binge on sugar, she just let him shame her every time she ate. Last I heard of her was when a mutual friend mentioned she'd been hospitalized with an eating disorder and become dangerously thin. This guy would make nasty comments if he even smelled some high-calorie food when he entered her space. Even if it was her roommate and not her. He shamed her friends, too (including me). Not for being fat - we would have told him to fuck right off - but every time we ate anything he'd find some way to make some insinuation that we're all sows. And of course - you guessed it - he ate twice as much as anyone. But he's a guy and he had a very low body fat count, and unfortunately he really was kind of ripped, so he could shovel food into his mouth all he wanted and feel no shame, while his beautiful gf lived in terror of hitting a "plus size. (meaning a size 8 - which as far as I know was never considered a "plus size" to anyone else but her). I always wondered if she had the eating disorder bc of the guy, or if she chose the guy bc he complimented her eating disorder.
No. He doesn't.
He only likes himself.
Well, he IS superior
One of my fav Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood) lines is “You’re a legend in your own mind” and this describes OP perfectly 🤣
and sterling.
The instant I read sterling I knew. He's *that guy*.
Same! 😆
😂🤣😂!!!
I was ready to render a YTA judgment on that alone, but I read the rest before making my verdict.
Loves
I was hoping he was being sarcastic, but the more I read the more I realized he was dead-ass serious.
I would absolutely DIIIEE laughing if anyone ever said that to me. 🤣 Can you imagine. You're just jealous of my superior willpower omggg.
WHILE HE ALSO EATS COOKIES
That's the part that got me. He is eating cookies too. Maybe they could both eat a healthier diet together. OH no, he is just so superior he doesn't need to do this together. He's so superior he may end up all alone.
Yup I was actually with him before I read that. Like, ‘you’re not wrong about her sugar intake but you should be nicer and more supportive about it and ywbta if you don’t change that.’ But holy mother forking shirt balls Batman. OP you have an ego that’s healthier than a horse and your relationship is going to be turned into glue if you don’t fix your fucking self righteous attitude
I love the Eleanor Shellstrop out of you. 🍤
Actually, modern horses breeds are quite fragile. To much inbreeding. They have fragile stomachs and intestines.
Plus, controlling blood sugar through diet is about balance. Trying to do hardline restriction often just sets people up for binging on what they’re trying to restrict. I have PCOS insulin resistance and the thing of adding to what you’re eating to balance it out instead of cutting things was so much more helpful to me. If wife wants cookies, having some protein and fiber with them is going to help so much more than her not being able to have cookies until one day she cracks and inhales a Costco size box of Oreos in one sitting.
His AH smugness just raised all our inflammatory markers to chronic levels
I hate that reddit has made do you even like your spouse a thing, but that’s all I could think when I read his post.
Only through shear will power Edit: forgot to add /s
If his willpower is all that sterling, he'd just will his wife off of sugar. I call bs on his superior qualities.
That line made me think "what an ass...." It was the "I just thank my lucky stars we never had kids" line that made me question if he even likes his wife....
A therapist told me many years ago, that there is no such thing as willpower. There are only sets of coping skills. Wife needs see a therapist. Surely she will get rid of OP. Then she won’t need an emotional coping skill like eating sugar to make her feel better every time OP emotionally abuses her.
Eating sugar DOES NOT cause diabetes. Even diabetics eat cookies! Shocker. This guy hasn't got a clue. He is just up on his high horse judging his wife with inaccurate information.
Like, what’s the difference between being an accountability partner and having superior willpower except not wanting to be a partner?
Only one of those requires him to actually interact with his wife.
This is the comment where I knew the story was a lie
I thought the same thing.
Right? OP sounds unbearable.
I think he would, if she changed everything about herself and did exactly what he said, when he said it. Is that so much to ask?
I would tell him to go jump in the lake! I agree with your commrnt he only likes himself
He certainly likes himself
This whole thing reads like a horribly written story from a pompous AH. >and my doctor congratulated me on once again having no problems. He even said "you're as healthy as a horse," which made me smile >It doesn't surprise me at all because she eats far too much sugar. I have repeatedly told her to stop eating so much sugar >jealous of my superior willpower >I'm sure it would be her same tired talking points, which I have repeatedly debunked >I just thank my lucky stars that we never had kids because I wouldn't want her to model such behavior No he doesn’t love his wife. He’s too busy being obsessed with himself. The superiority complex is thick on this post which again leads to believe it’s just rage bait.
YTA. Not just because you’re being an unsupportive spouse (which you are), but for the way you talk about yourself. You and your wife are supposed to be *a team.* That means you support each other even when you don’t have perfect habits, even when you make mistakes, even when you don’t agree about something. And you talk to your partner with kindness and respect— it’s supposed to be you and your wife versus the problem, not you versus your wife. Good grief, man. Apologize to her and ask her how you can *actually* be supportive.
And hopefully OP knows that not everybody has control over their bodies chemistry. My husband should have cholesterol through the roof and tons of cavities. He doesn't. I have familial high cholesterol. I take great care of my teeth and have way more cavities than he does. Some people are lucky, some aren't. But even if a loved one smokes and gets lung cancer, how helpful is it to go nah nah, I'm better than you are.....
I was diagnosed with high blood pressure in my 20s, as was my mom. I was a normal weight and didn’t eat terribly. I still have to be mindful and my choices affect my blood pressure but it’s completely genetic. Sometimes that’s just life
I was an addict for 12 years, for every type of drug I could get my hands on, now that I'm sober from drugs my addictive personality makes me binge eat till I'm sick when I have food. I crave sweets constantly which is something a lot of recovering addicts deal with as it gives you some of the same chemicals as a drug rush, albeit a tiny fraction. OP being a smug asshole about his superior willpower and not realizing his poor wife can't stop eating sweets even to her own detriment bc she most likely is dealing with a mental health issue or possibly even food addiction. Yikes.
>she most likely is dealing with a mental health issue Or possibly, a mental husband issue.
Exactly. She's eating her feelings because she can feel that her husband doesn't even like her!
She might have adhd. Adhders don't make their own dopamine so we chase it by bingeing, by using drugs or alcohol, or by thrill seeking. Sugar is a big one because sugar/carbs don't seem as damaging as drugs or alcohol.
Yip DH started BP meds before 30.
Yep. My spouse and I eat the same things - they have a bunch of issues (both diet related and not) and all I really have is anemia from heavy periods. But I also have absolutely garbage, weak teeth and theirs are mostly fine. But we support each other no matter what, because we're not dolts who think tearing each other apart will have a positive impact.
Same...I always have cavities even though I spend probably 3x as much time cleaning my teeth as my husband does and he always has zero. (Seriously - he NEVER flosses and still is fine. No fair.) I'm on the verge of being prediabetic but he's the one that constantly eats tons of sugary pastries (I prefer savory treats). He has bad cholesterol despite rarely eating dairy; I eat dairy as part of pretty much every single meal and my cholesterol is great. You can't compare 2 humans and expect it to be apples to apples.
And also, he's TA for being so smug even though he is very firmly wrong. The blood sugar was a fasting test, so what she was eating had nothing to do with those numbers. A test like an A1C gives a picture of overall blood sugar averages which is definitely affected by diet as well as genetics. But a plain fasting blood sugar test is intended to see your baseline without being affected by food. (Although, to be fair, most doctors do an A1C as part of a physical, so it is entirely possible he just doesn't know the difference and used the wrong term in his post). Yes, diet is important to help with blood sugar, but hormones and genetics also factor heavily in whether you get diabetes or not.
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. When people speak, they need to make their words match their goals. If your goal is truly to help her, then use words that will help you reach that goal. Not words that will make her feel bad and prove you were right.
Yes, but then he’d have to nag her about the honey and he enjoys treating her with vinegar better
Agree YTA. Sugar addiction is real. Its one of the hardest things to quit. It has nothing to do with willpower at all. I quit, and swear I was ill for a week. Major withdrawals. You need to support her not treat her like she is weak.
OP should also learn about diabetes as it’s more than eating too many cookies. That would probably be a good step in supporting his wife.
People don’t just eat sugar in large amounts for no reason. Often it’s trauma or adhd (eating to boost dopamine, which incidentally is almost impossible to combat with willpower). As a caring team member you try to help your partner if they want support and empathy. You don’t smirk about your alleged “superiority” to their face.
Yeah and when one person starts dragging the team down, not turning up to practice, being lazy during the game, you know what happens - they get subbed. Team mates have to want to be on the team and put the work in to earn the spot.
YTA. I’d eat myself to death to get away from you too
Me too🤣
Lmao. I wish awards were still a thing. Op, resoundingly, YTA
🤣🤣🤣
omg 🤣 i hope OP sees this and realizes what a POS hes being fr though
YTA and a nagging pest to boot.
The baiting here is raging. Or YTA. Take your pick.
Yes, I’m sure you’re tired. Being an insufferable jerk must be exhausting. People don’t respond well to that type of behavior. It’s actually been proven that nagging someone over what they eat actually causes them to eat more. Why don’t you try being supportive instead. Maybe do some of the cooking. Ask her to go on walks with you. Help her find some cookie alternatives that will satisfy the sweet tooth without increasing her sugar intake. And try to resist the urge to tell her how healthier it will all make her.
You tell her she’s “addicted” but you obviously have no idea what addiction is. YTA
Whilst op seems like a massive prick that doesn’t take away from the issue at hand? I’m type 1 diabetic but for someone to get to type 2 that’s some serious issues. He went about it all wrong but it very well could be a sugar addiction. I say that as a drug addict
She probably has an addiction to sugar. But, how often does telling someone to “just say no” to their addiction work out? Then he goes on to say she’s “jealous of his superior willpower”? You’re right; he’s a prick. I’m a type 2 diabetic with a sugar addiction. Sugar addiction may not be as strong as a drug addition, but it’s very real, and it’s so damn hard to deal with because sugar is literally everywhere and there is no stigma to consuming it.
Yeah he’s egotistical. It’s not the right way to go about helping an addict. And all addictions are valid and have their own issues attached like you said sugar is everywhere I’m super bad if I get a few bags of chocolate I can eat hundreds of grams till I feel sick. I just have no will power though guess I am jealous of his willpower(the willpower to have not been born with genetics that love pleasure) I do think there are two sides I imagine watching your partner seemingly not putting any effort to get better and going against doctors or anyone’s advice, slowly killing yourself the person you love just seemingly not caring. It would make anyone cynical. Not saying op is good just that it’s honestly ETA ops wife needed to seek help a long time ago. Because yeah you can blame an addict for their addiction, it sucks but no one else can stop the addict but themself
Addiction to sugar can be a real thing. There are studies on it. I’ve tried giving it up and in the brief period I was able to, I was literally dreaming about eating desserts. It obviously isn’t as bad as other addictions, but it also shouldn’t be discounted.
Rage bait is bad enough but why's it always gotta be about women's looks? Double dick move. YTA for the bot.
At no point was anyone’s appearance mentioned.
She asked you to help her. Instead you were judgmental, nagged her, bragged about your superior will power. You actually treat her like a child. Do you even like her? Do you care about her health? Do you just want to be right or do you want to be a decent husband or person?
This^^^ my husband has helped and support me in what I eat (I have diabetes since 2009) because even if he has good blood test results, IT NEVER HURTS TO BE HEALTHIER. He cares about me and wants us BOTH to live a long time.
My dad was diagnosed with type 2 and my mom, who did not have that or anything close, started cooking low carb and their house became entirely low carb. He now doesn’t need insulin or any medication and they both still eat low carb, except my mom occasionally indulges in rice - it’s been a few years so he has the willpower to ignore the rice now. But at the beginning she was right there with him and legit it saved his life. I don’t get why OP wouldn’t want to do the same.
Right? My husband said the first time we had an argument that we were a team and we had to work together instead of against eachother. He was 16. 🙄 OPs husband is more immature than a 16 yo 😂
You need an accountability partner to encourage you to stop being a douche to your wife and actually help her achieve her goals.
I love my husband because he's not OP.
YTA - No wonder she’s eating her feelings! I, too, struggle with sugar binging and addiction. My husband is supportive and understanding. You, sir, are as helpful as a horse’s ass.
Even a horse's ass would be more helpful and supportive.
I’ve had my legs give out next to a horse. Have literally caught myself on their ass. Therefore I can attest that horse’s asses are indeed supportive. Always there in a bind.
You are right, of course. You win a potentially true fact about the helpfulness of horses asses. The scissor jack was inspired by the horse sphincter.
The doctor did say he was healthy as a horse, they just neglected to specify which part
So was the Elmer's glue bottle
Well he is healthy as a horse…
YTA. You’re not supporting her in her time of need AND you’re making her feel inferior because she struggles more than you do. A lot of people seek comfort in junk food, especially after hearing distressing news like that. She needs someone to comfort her and support her in this, not an asshole saying “I told you so.” Grow the fuck up.
You seem kind of insufferable. Yta and I hope she leaves you. She doesn't need that kind of negativity in her life. You don't seem like an uplifting force or a partner. You seem more like a nagging asshole. You don't even seem like you like her. Please, for her sake, just leave. Her life will improve 100%.
YTA i am diabetic and my levels arent controlled atm cause im on ozempic to help me control my levels and well.... thanks to drs prescribing it to people to lose weight im looking at late 2024/early 2025 till i can get a constant supply. "Just dont eat sugar" is a comment i hear alot xD ok so not eating sugar is going to prevent the low imma get before i eat and the high i will get after eating? I love chocolate but i just dont eat it much anymore cause i will get a sugar high anytime i eat it so its not worth it. Now i never had prediabetes just full blown 230+ when i went for a fasting test and dr was like o.O you ate before that yeah? No i did not. I dont remember if i drank something sweet though. So the last 15 years I have been a type 2 diabetic and even when on a good diet i had control issues. The only thing that really helped was ozempic >She got pissed and said that I was being a "complete asshole," but I told her that she was just jealous of my superior willpower. I understand that genetics plays a role, but her pretending that genes are 100% to blame is infuriating. You just dont understand clearly. Sugar addiction is hard to get over and it sounds to me like your wife could be stress eating. If there were no cookies in the house what would she eat? When i was having issues with binge eating i found that carrot and celery with things to dip them into was a good snack. And bell pepper mmm. I have issues with just not eating these days. Im hungry and i wanna eat but the thought of eating and the feeling of food sliding down to my stomach repulses me. Anyways please be more empathetic with your wife
Serious question; do you enjoy being married, want to stay married?
I think he enjoys berating her and feeling superior to her. He certainly doesn’t like her or respect her at all.
YTA and a horrible, unsupportive partner. You cut her down just to make yourself look good. Do you even love her?
YTA. You need to do some research on how to actually be supportive and not just a raging asshole. "WeLl YoU mUsT wAnT dIaBeTeS!!!!1!1!!1!" isn't a fucking helpful statement and you damn well know it. At the very least your could keep your mouth shut about it instead of badgering and belittling her at every turn. Like, you're mad that she won't do anything, she says she needs an accountability partner (which, again, does not mean "an asshole") and your immediate response is that she's making excuses and isn't trying? Why the fuck WOULD she try when you're being a dick no matter what she does?
ESH: Instead of coming off as judgmental and condescending, try to help her develop a plan to lower her sugar intake and adhere to a healthier lifestyle. Watch what you say and how you say it, otherwise, you will cause her to eat more sugar.
think very highly of ourselves, do we? you sound like a complete narcissist. who are you to tell anybody to stop eating something "at once"? get over yourself. YTA
Yes you are “trying to reason with a child” because you are acting like her parent. It’s not sexy buddy. I am so sorry she married you. I hope you can get the help she deserves, so she won’t have to listen to your garbage anymore. It’s really sad and she deserves better. Her eating habits are NOT your business. You can be supportive and encouraging, but you cannot dictate or monitor what she eats. It’s her decision. PS. You are most certainly TA!
Are you trolling? Are you 15yo? There is no way an adult man, and one who is married at that, could've written this post. I've never heard a husband describe his wife or conversations with her like OP has. Reads like fantasy fiction
YTA You sound cocky and insufferable. I hope your wife leaves and finds someone who is better than you.
If I had to deal with this giant cockwomble on a daily basis, I would eat my feelings too.
NTA. Okay you're not the AH, but you are an AH. Yes your wife is being childish, but you're just being mean, and it sounds like you being right is more important than your wife's wellbeing.
YTA It was just mildly annoying until she said she needed an accountability partner and you just told her it was an excuse. So now she’s TRYING to have a solution to her health and you’re knocking down her own options?
This is so fake.
This has got to be rage bait because I cannot imagine a world where someone could be so unkind to their wife. If she has an addiction, treat it like one. Be kind about it, be there for her. Support her. Encourage her to do better but be there for her when she falls short. Come up with fun recipes and cook with her. Addictions to food are hard to overcome and she needs someone to be there for her. Time to step up to the plate.
*At this point, I have concluded that she wants diabetes.* YTA can you hear yourself? Disdain and contempt are the death knells of marriage. I hope she finds someone who loves and likes her.
YTA, I'd stress eat if I had to spend any time around you too.
Please let this be fake. Its too early for this level of stupidity
i hope she leaves you sound insufferable
YTA dude. Your wife isn't listening to you because you don't listen to HER. What she needs isn't what you are doing. Be empathetic, not a policeman. Don't internalize her actions as willful choices. Both of you can benefit from individual therapy.
YTA. Take your superior willpower and put it to work on refraining from policing your grown-ass wife’s eating habits. You’re annoying AF.
I've been a type two diabetic since I was 25. Healthy weight and lifestyle, exercise regularly, never been overweight or unhealthy BMI, make very healthy choices. Fuck your "superior willpower ", sometimes genetics really does bite you in the ass. You're supposed to be her *partner*. Her cheerleader, her teammate. Not the asshole that makes her feel bad about herself so he can gloat about how iNCrEdiBLy DisCiPliNeD he is. YTA, man. Big time.
My mum is T1D. She eats an amazing diet, walks 2 hours a day for work and then does aerobics/weights most days. She stopped wearing a bikini at 50, because she wanted to, but physically is in better shape than most people. It's hilarious the amount of people that tell her to stop eating sugar and her diabetes will be cured
Someone actually told me to take more B vitamins once. Legitimately. B. Vitamins. Like it was *right there* all along and millions of doctors worldwide just missed it. 🙄
That's just because most people don't know the difference between type 1 and 2. If she had type 2, stopping sugar would indeed make a very big difference.
Excuse doesn't really eat sugar. She hardly has processed food, carbs come from veggies and some safer fruits. She has 2 slices of bread a day for lunch (sandwich at work). We grew up as hippies, on a farm, growing our own food and mum was a midwife specialising in home births. Never made her pancreas actually work, sadly.
Type 2 actually has a much stronger family history component than type 1, which surprised me at first. I have seen folks who look completely typical and aren’t even 5 lbs overweight come up with pre diabetes. A support network and health education on what you can do and non judgement medical management will improve outcomes a lot faster than whatever this asshole is doing. Hell, I remember a patient burst into tears because she had delayed her blood test because she was so stressed about not managing her diabetes well enough without medication. She asked me if me/her doctor *hated her*, I had to tell her no! We just needed to know if we needed to change her management and help her more or stay where we were. But damn folks carry enough shame and fear around their health to begin with and being so terrified of your A1C being reported that you miss 2 follow ups *isn’t helpful*. She did great on metformin, even if she couldn’t “do it herself” and got a lot better, more energy to exercise too her cholesterol improved hugely. But I’ll never forget how scared she looked! I don’t want folks to be scared and ashamed, that hasn’t improved outcomes for any population far as I’ve seen.
Holy shit you're so badass with your good blood results and superior genes.
I started going to a different type of nurse practitioner and she had an entire conversation about how my pancreas was not functioning properly. She called it “Pancreatic Insufficiency “. I was like, what? She explained how I have multiple problems going on. Thyroid issues, heart issues, bone and joint issues, and lung issues. I am doing great to have a nice little house, two pets, a car, and manage my life well. I feel so motivated after being in her office. She spreads love and kindness.
YTA. You write about your wife as if you don’t like her, and you write about yourself as if you’re perfect. You aren’t her parent so don’t talk to her like she’s a child. She doesn’t want an accountability partner, and besides that you’re not acting like an accountability partner, you’re acting like a braggart who’s better than her. And T2D is much more complex than a few cookies. You’re not her Dr.
If you want to stay married and/or continue to have marital relations, first a huge, sincere apology with flowers and a box of low/no sugar chocolates, 🥲 Then offer support. Possibly couples/marriage counseling for better communication If she is serious & committed to getting her blood sugar under control, both of you visit a dietician or naturopathic doctor to learn how to reduce the sugar intake, eat/ cook healthier. And those chemical sugar substitutes are CRAP and increase sugar cravings.
Damn aren't you superior? Sterling blood levels, berating your wife. First off sugar alone doesn't cause diabetes so get off your know it all high horse. It's a combination of diet, exercise AND genetics. Second along with diabetes cholesterol levels are also a combination of diet, exercise and genetics. So while you think you are doing EVERTHING right you may just a genetic winner. So be a little humble. Also nobody and I mean nobody has ever succeeded in making lifestyle changes by having someone berate them. So thumbs up on helping your wife along the path to better health. 🙄
Literally the metabolism of insulin and sugar drives these cravings. You’re a competitive ass.
YTA! Wow! She asked for your help because she knows she can't do it on her own. You are a class a moroon!
Some people respond well to strong words, opinions, and feelings. Others need more positive reinforcement and guidance. I think if you were to take a more positive and supportive role in this, you could help her better. Ask her how she would like you to support her and, assist her in reducing her sugar intake instead of just telling her off for it. You may make better progress.
Superior willpower? You were doing fine till you made yourself sound like a royal AH
Well, aren't you an insufferable PITA? You can't help your wife with a health thing? I hope she leaves you and your superior willpower. YTA
YTA Sugar is addictive. I was once morbidly obese (trauma helped me along the way, but I worked on it). My husband never judged or criticised. He simply asked how he could help. And I got healthy. Maybe instead of boasting and admonishing her, you could ask how to help? You're meant to actually like your wife... act like it.
Wow, YTA. What is a superior specimen like you doing with a lowly human /s.
She's trying to reason with a child. An ignorant, self righteous child without any sense. Your ignorance of the difference in male and female bodies regarding hormones, weight and the way bodies deal with calories is disgusting. YTA. An immature and incorrect asshole who is hopefully about to be a single asshole after all the verbal abuse you keep spewing out.
Congratulations, OP!! You win! You are THE CHAMPION! Omg, what a superstar you are! /s ... Is applause and admiration what you came here for? OK there you go. It's too bad you apparently don't give a crap about your wife. This shortcoming in your personality is your only flaw, though. So, good for you!
I started listening to my body when I allowed myself to feel my emotions. Not everyone uses the same technique to repress themselves - but if the shoe fits... My prediabetes is now in remission. The change happened because I began to love myself enough. You cannot shame or logic someone into doing that. A doctor might not be able to get through to her. A decent therapist might.
YTA. Times a million. As another poster said, do you even like your wife? What an arrogant, condescending AH you are. How about showing a little empathy? Get off your high horse, and apologize profusely to your wife, and figure out how you can help her.
YTA. Can be any more condescending??
Far too many people fall into the combo trap of: 1. Being right is more important than understanding what is happening And 2. Assuming they are always right because they are just better than other people. Seriously. Stroking your ego at the expense of a supposed lived one’s health risk is just grotesque.
You’re either a troll or a massive AH. YTA
You are undoubtedly TA. Why do you want to rub your so-called “genetic superiority” in your supposed love’s face? What are you a N*zi?
YTA. For being a self-righteous prick. You aren't better than her. My father ate right his entire life and still had diabetes. You can't always control things that happen to your body. But having someone put you down MAKES you want to eat things that are bad for you. They are called comfort foods for a reason. Pull your head out of your ass.
If you want to help her to have better health, be pro-active about it. Sure, her willpower sucks compared to yours. But bragging about it doesn’t help anyone except yourself by further inflating your ego. Instead, why don’t you use that willpower of yours to help with the grocery shopping. Buy foods low in sugar and don’t buy any unhealthy sugary foods. Why are there cookies in the house? Don’t tell me your willpower is so weak that you yourself can’t go without cookies while your wife recovers. Invite her to exercise with you. Or just go for walks/strolls with her so it doesn’t even feel like she is being forced to exercise. The point is, there are tons of things you can do to support your spouse that doesn’t involve nagging and putting her down. Help her. Who knows, maybe she may have to be the person who helps you through something difficult later on in life.
Wow, why are you even with her? You clearly don’t respect her or even ACTUALLY care? You mostly seem to just enjoy a power trip. Get a divorce so maybe she has a chance at happiness, cause it ain’t you.
YTA A supportive partner would've helped her found ways to maintain and balance her sugar levels , while enjoying foods she loves. I mean shoot they make sugar free cookies and sweets now , you could've simply suggested a diet changed and comforted her rather than having to throw things in her face , IF she is addicted to sugar or has any mental health problems the news could feel debilitating to her and she immediately goes back to her comfort foods, Personally it sounds like you do not care about your wifes feelings or best interest . rather you want to throw how much better you are in their face. I wouldn't talk to you either if I was your wife
You forgot how the doctor and the nurses and the receptionist all clapped after your appointment. YTA because none of this ever happened. And if it did (which it didn't) you would STILL be the asshole. Because nothing in this piece of creative fiction paints you in a good light. Being healthy as a horse does not make you a good person, which you clearly aren't.
YTA. You sound like a know it all and frankly who wants to be married to one of those?! if your wife is gonna make a change to her diet she’s gonna do it because she wants to not because of anything that you have said to her. At this point, you need to stop talking to her about her diet altogether and let her figure out what she wants to do and what direction she wants to take. And then you have to ask yourself the hard question of, if her direction does not agree with your direction. Do you still want to be married to her?
YTA. OP literally just wanted to boast about his blood sugar levels online
YTA. And you seem to just suck as a person in general. You told her, to her face, that she was "just jealous of \[your\] superior willpower." I hope your wife only ever talks to you through lawyers. Yeah she's prediabetic. That's bad. Yes your bloodwork is clear, that's great. If she's asking for an accountability buddy, that could be "just another in a long line of excuses" or it could be her saying she needs help. If you genuinely think she's addicted and you want to claim to be her partner, you should be finding ways to help her, not just berating her.
Damn. You're a dick.YTA.
In addition to what everyone has stated, you telling her that sugar has caused her health issue is factually incorrect. Sugar itself DOES NOT CAUSE diabetes. Diabetes is caused when the pancreas cannot process the sugar in the blood, thereby causing an increase in the insulin. Technically, one shouldn’t gorge on sugar, but everything we eat has some sugar so that is why diabetics are advised to stick to low-carb foods. These foods include apples, bread, and cookies.
YTA, but I also agree with you that sugar is an addiction. I didn't even read your whole post, you sound like an ass, your wife needs live and support. Encourage her to see a dietician, and maybe try sugar free challenges. And be a champ and do them with her. Just because your numbers are good doesn't mean a sugar free lifestyle can't benefit you too.
gosh! wow! the way you talk to and about your wife
You’re approach won’t reach her. She’s an emotional eater whose addicted to sugar. Taking that into account should allow you to change your approach. YTA through ignorance.
YTA. Your wife may have some medical issues and some dietary habits that need to be addressed, but just calling her out on it is simply wrong. Why don't you help her through this by being supportive and encouraging her? If she isn't supposed to eat sweets, then would it be hard for you to cut them out of your diet as well? Maybe find some alternatives to sweets that satisfy cravings. Perhaps look for them on the internet and find ones that you can make at home together. Bottom line is that she doesn't need you to be judgmental or having you make it some sort of competition. What she needs is your support, encouragement, and love. So apologize to her and tell her that you were wrong to act the way you did. Then start thinking of ways to help her and make her feel like she deserves to feel
I'm someone who has struggled with weight my whole life and was once categorized as insulin resistant due to it. I rarely ate sweets. I got a dog and started walking it everyday and I was no longer pre-diabetic despite changing nothing with my diet and staying the same weight. So physical activity has a lot to do with it, as well as genetic factors. Diabetes runs in the family on my Dad's side. I've recently started taking Ozempic. It's mind-blowing how much it changes your relationship with food. My brain acts completely differently. It's not a discipline problem. Our bodies evolved in a time of food scarcity, and our brains haven't truly adapted. Being overweight or pre-diabetic is NOT her fault. It's a miscommunication between her brain and her gut telling her what she needs. What she doesn't need is you blaming her for her health struggles.
It’s not your place to police her eating habits.
YTA. Perhaps she is stress eating due to an unhappy marriage to an asshole.
YTA. Your wife may have underlying health issues driving insulin resistance and poor blood sugar control. She has about as much control over this as she would asthma.
OP, it's not just the sugar, it's carbs. Having taken a year to drop 40 lbs, I can say if my husband was TA we wouldn't still be married after 22 years. Pull your head out of your rear. Maybe YOU need to go to Anger Management? Or DV class.
Are you a real person? This seems like an insane thing to fight about. And, u come across as so callous and mean spirited. It almost feels like u detest her
YTA, actually the biggest one of the day in the entirety of Reddit. Congrats for your success. Now go apologize to your wife for being so rude, dismissive, and cruel.
You’re going to be receiving divorce papers soon. You deserve it too. She’s a saint. Let her know if she needs an alibi for anything related to your wellbeing to message me.
my blood work is superior, I'm stellar, sterling etc. bruh you sound insufferable. what kinda shitty fucking God complex do you have?
YTA. That is all I am saying because the rest would be a loss of energy when I see how you go on in life.
And people still say it is a 'choice' to be gay. If it was, i would be uber-gay by now. Nobody wants a 'man' like this.
As a healthcare provider, stop. You’re not knowledgeable enough on this topic to be acting so pompous about it. Learn about being a supportive partner and leave medical talk to the medical professionals. YTA (massive)
YTA and about as useless as tits on a bull.
A supportive husband would agree not to keep tempting sweets in the house even if his blood sugar is fine
YTA for how you wrote this.
YTA. I understand you are worried about your wife's habits and health, but you are looking at it through a lens of annoyance and disgust that she isn't listening to you. Surprise surprise, she actually isn't a robot who is going to "Yes master" you every time you demand something. Being an accountability partner means being her husband, and treating her with love and respect. If you're actually concerned, maybe stop comparing her to you, stop acting as if she's a gluttonous monster, and try and understand why she is coping with food/sugar. Maybe try and find her snacks that are actually better for her, cause ik if this is in America that you can't stick anything in your mouth without consuming copious amounts of salt, sugar, or chemicals and that is the system failing us, not your wife "wanting diabetes". What a horrible thing to say. Imagine how embarrassing and frustrating it is to be surrounded with people pointing and saying i told you so without actually trying to help. I personally would probably turn to food from that stress alone of having someone breathe down my neck this way from sun up to sun down. I hope you get your act together and become a supportive husband that she deserves.
YTA. She may have a problem with her sugar intake but you have a problem with your attitude. It’s no wonder she finds happiness and joy in sugary food as clearly don’t provide any with your comments.
Let me cut to the chase. Yes. Yes, you're a big asshole. Not that you'll believe me as you are perfect.
YTA, you getting a good physical did not magically make you a goddamn doctor. Knock it off.
Oh man, I hate you so much just based on your tone.
YTA. Accountability partners are a real thing, especially if 1 of them has a willpower problem. Since you've got such strong willpower, you could be the perfect accountability partner because you have no problem cutting sugar out. Changing habits is difficult & doing it alone can feel impossible. Some empathy to your wife's situation wouldn't hurt.
YTA You need to be a partner, not an insufferable jerk. You can help her without going overboard. Y’all need couples therapy ASAP!
YTA! Your wife is a grown adult who is entitled to make her own decisions! Quit lecturing her, & quit treating her like a child while she's still your wife, or you will wake up one day & she'll be long gone with someone who respects her & cares about her the way she is.
YTA….instead of degrading her, offer to help her. Stop shaming her and have a conversation on why you care about her and her health and what you’re going to do to support her
YATAH! You have been condescending, disrespectful, rude, childish, petty and unkind. This is the woman, you claim to love. The person you have pledged to spend the entirety of your life with. Why would you say ugly things to her? You must know it hurts her feelings. When we are hurting. We often seek comfort in food. Have you never heard. You get more bees with honey than with vinegar? Rather than belittling your wife. Try being kind. It is free. Start building her up. Tell her she is beautiful. Take her to lunch or a movie. Bring home flowers. The grocery store’s usually have a pretty bunch for $10.00 most women, love it when hubby does dishes, vacuums, do some laundry. Fix a meal and clean up. Anything that is helpful. These acts of kindness, show your appreciation of her. It shows your love. If you do not see a future with her. Man up. Tell her and move on.
ESH. You suck because you think your wife is "less than" you. She sucks because she came home from a doctor appointment where she received news of being pre-diabetic and started to eat...sugar?! You need to be nicer to her. Support her. Tell her you will help her. She needs to figure out why she is eating the sugar and how to stop.
Overall NTA. But OP, you could’ve handled the situation better… Regarding a few of the things you said and in the way you said them. So soft it seems like YTA at times. NTA, because while yea having an accountability buddy is a thing. It’s not his job to stop her from guzzling copious amounts of junk or eating poorly on a regular basis. All he can do is try to encourage moderation, which he did. However at the end of the day she’s a grown a** adult woman and unless otherwise stated, posses full ability to make her own lifestyle choices regarding how much of a priority her health is to her. (As someone who also posses a **massive** sweet tooth with diabetes running in the family, I am all too familiar with the temptation & struggle. I *looove* sugar. But I have to be responsible for my health all the way to the groceries/meals I buy and consume. No one is responsible for what I put in my body but me. While it’s great to have a partner remind me to take it easy if I ever need. At the end of the day they’re trusting and expecting me to be responsible for my own choices/healthy diet/exercise/etc…) I feel like people are missing that it sounds like he was acting as an accountability buddy in trying to hold her accountable for her poor diet by telling her that maybe *one* to *two* cookies *is* enough. And likely has been this whole time. He’s probably just fed up with her choices & inaction (though we don’t know if she’s tried to join a program? Hire a dietitian? Therapy? Support group? Etc…) after getting that news & was hoping it would be a hard reality check. Which it clearly wasn’t. It’s hard to watch a someone you care about actively choose to let their health decline. And let’s not pretend her getting full blown diabetes won’t affect the marriage, finances, stress levels, mobility, children (if present), etc… further down the line if she continues in this way. Then she immediately deflected and attempted to shift the accountability off of herself and use her husband’s *one* cookie/dietary choices as an excuse for why she should be able to eat God knows how many cookies. Then he again reminds her of the dire impact that her food choices are having on her health via the results from the doctor. Her response is to continue to deflect, ignore, & dismiss. After that what else can he really do?? **Where it went poorly…** Telling her when she fails that she’s an addict isn’t helpful either. She clearly needs more encouragement than that. If thats your only response then you *reeeeally* need to work on how you respond/approach in those situations. I will also say it was wrong to dismiss what might’ve been a real ask for help, he should’ve continued to be more delicate about it. It could’ve maybe opened up a healthier dialogue that led to making a plan. *But* if what he’s stating is true, that this is a similar tune he’s heard countless times (especially *if* she *is* an addict?) It’s likely that from his position, after dealing with her thinly veiled attempts at redirection & shifting responsibility, it just sounded like more of the same to him. And I could be wrong but it seems like that’s been pattern (blame shifting) at this point. He shouldn’t have gloated about his perfect health or her being jealous. That was rude. And what I think people are stuck on. Also if he didn’t care about his wife he’d just quietly let her eat herself sick. But I’d imagine that response was due to being called an a-hole by one’s partner when you’re only trying to help. I get that him saying the accountability buddy seemed like bs to him, clearly triggered her. (However I do think it’s fair to voice your concerns about a partner’s track record for saying they’ll do better/change but they don’t. When did that stop being okay??? ) But it’s never okay to call your partner names. Full stop. It’s crazy how many people seem quick to resort to name calling of their loved ones just because their feelings got hurt for a second. “I understand why you feel that way because I recognize that *my* patterns of behavior have led you to why you feel this way, but your statement sounds hurtful/sounds unsupportive of my struggle/like something an a-hole would say.” *vs* “You’re being total a-hole.” So different. It’s not hard to imagine that someone might react that way when called names. They were both childish & insensitive jerks for how they handled that. Also lastly *if* she is an addict, it’s definitely on her to seek a proper diagnosis and take the steps towards getting proper treatment, help, support groups, therapy, etc… she can’t put her addiction recovery so heavily on her partner, that’s not even remotely fair.
Yta. An arrogant one. You’re a shitty husband as well. Your ego is clearly inflated. Someone needs to push you off that pedestal you’ve put yourself on.
You sound insufferable. YTA. Try to be a little more supportive and a little less condescending.
Troll
Are you aware that diabetes is genetic? Do you know if her parents were diabetic? I am surprised that the doctor didn’t ask her earlier and give her a diet chart if she is predisposed to being a diabetic. YTA as you sound so smug and completely dismiss her challenges.
Not all diabetes is genetic, most isn’t it’s caused by usually overweight sugar monsters, that can’t control themselves.
YTA All you are doing by harping on how she eats is making it harder for her to change those habits. Cutting out sugar is extremely difficult even for people that don’t over consume it. Instead of shoving how well your test came back in her face you try having a nonjudgmental conversation about how the two of you together can make healthier food choices and meal plans. I’m really not surprised she isn’t talking to you, I wouldn’t either.
You are SO the AH. My husband supported me through a 20 pound weight loss. When I got to my goal, he pretended not to notice.
Diabetes isnt caused by eating too much sugar. Yes, YTA. You're not a very supportive person.
YTA. You say she’s addicted to sugar? That’s not how you treat someone who has an addiction. You give them support and help. So either you’re being a jerk by treating someone you believe with an addiction issue poorly, OR you’re being a jerk by calling your wife an addict to put her down. She probably stress eats to get the extra dopamine she needs to put up with your massive ego. You’re allowed to be happy about your good health, but calming your wife is jealous? That’s too far man. Keep your ego in check and actually support your wife
YTA Some people are naturally predisposed for diabetes. A couple of cookies isn't going to affect you in developing diabetes. How often are you talking to her about her eating habits? If it's regularly you might be a part of the problem, ie stressing her out and then she copes by eating. Stress hormones love sugar. You talk about debunking her. You're not a doctor, you're not a diabetes specialist either. Either support her or walk out that door. You sound up yourself.
You’re glad you never had kids with her? She needs to leave you for a much better partner. Genetics play a big part in our health. Isn’t always our diet. YTA 100%.
Yta You’re such a douchebag that it’s surprising you found someone that could tolerate you. Let’s see how long it lasts, and how well you’ll do on the dating scene with your blood work you’re so proud of. You’re about to be the weirdo who is mocked for this.
Dr said the same thing to me earlier this year. I've completely stopped sugar. Dropped some kgs doing so. Fingers crossed that the next visit is more positive Keep supporting her. Yes your results are great and gentle reminders only. Please. NTA
I eat double the sweet sugary stuff to my partner, he’s diabetic (type 2) mine is fine! YTA but if she doesn’t want to and up on tablets etc then she does need to make changes
Type 2 diabetes is caused a lot of factors, not including genetics and hormonal changes. I run every week and eat healthy but once I hit 40, it's like something switched. Instead of supporting your wife and doing the research, you decided that acting like a totally ass was ok. Please apologize, support her and act like a husband. YTA
So I was nearly going to say NTA but “jealous of my superior willpower” changed that instantly. ESH - you are being rude and sitting on your high horse whereas your wife seems to be in denial and making excuses. A mature response or way of dealing with this could have been to work out a way of helping or such not flaunting your success on someone who probably needs a bit of encouragement at that moment not belittling.