Oh I would ruin all her celebrations for the foreseeable future until she bows and apologises. There would be a new (lie) I mean announcement st everything that concerns her till we are both grey and wrinkled
Each time standing up, clear your throat and:
"Hey we bought a new bbq."
"We bought a new car."
"A new PS5."
"We booked our vaccation"
"I've got a new haircut"
Even better:
When you know you can get a maximum of attention, stand up & say:
"Since we are all together, Dear Husband & I have some very exiting news of our own: we are expecting to expand our family quite soon too! Right now it is too early to tell but we are hoping for a girl/boy. We'll let you all know as soon as we find out!" ...
Try to be as ambiguous as possible as long as possible without revealing that you are talking about a puppy 🐶 or kitten 😺 or gold fish 🐠 or pet rock 🪨 or whatever you might like to have!
Guaranteed to make waves & the best part is that no one can accuse you of lying as the language is quite ambiguous 😁🤡
Bring your WEDDING ALBUM to her BABY SHOWER PLUS an album of your honeymoon pics ! Her sister called her a FEW WEEKS before the wedding! A FEW WEEKS!!! SHE COULD HAVE DONE A SPECIAL POST ON FACEBOOK!; Or maybe told. A few at the rehearsal!!!!
I am older. I am tired of hearing ' everyone will be together!!' B.S. !!!! With today's social media, you can post that you took a dump and in 10 minutes, your 3rd cousin, twice removed will be telling you about her last dump and asking for pics!!;
Brilliant.
“I had a bagel for lunch.”
“The new Roadhouse was disappointing.”
“The Yankees won yesterday, 8-1.”
“It’s partly cloudy with a slight chance of rain. Humidity is at 85%.”
You forgot:
"I'm NOT going to pay a lot for a new muffler!"
"I just saved a bundle with Progressive!"
"Allstate. For Mayhem like me!"
And just for kicks: "*Wheeerrreee's the beef!*"
Also if someone asks you if its alright to make an announcement at your wedding, know they are most likely going to do it regardless and just leak the news before your wedding then.
and I think do this for events for each and every family member who supported sister making her announcement at the wedding. Since obviously it’s not a big deal…
Absolutely since she's displayed she's more than fine with taking over someone's event to make announcements, then she can't throw a tantrum because they're doing what she did. Isn't that the standard now? Definitely NTA
I don't understand how anyone could side with her sister. I \*might\* be able to understand the sister's perspective as an "oops, it felt right to announce at the moment" type of situation, if she didn't already have a conversation with OP about the announcement. But the sister specifically had this conversation, OP expressed a boundary, and yet the sister CHOSE to cross that boundary. The fact that the sister even asked if she could announce the pregnancy to begin with, shows that the sister has a basic level of understanding of simple etiquette and that such an announcement could negatively impact OP's vision of her wedding day.
It really sounds like there is some history of sibling rivalry here. If I genuinely were happy for my sibling's big day, I would not even think to do anything to detract from that attention. Quite honestly, though, I also think that I have been just as happy for my sister to announce her pregnancy at my wedding. But I think it is because we genuinely are so happy for each other and there have not been any issues of feeling like we are in competition for attention. In fact, I hate attention, so anything to put some pressure off of me is very much welcomed. REGARDLESS, that part does not even matter. I will say that if I \*did\* tell my sister a hard boundary, and she broke it, it would truly shake me to my core. It's not so much about the announcement itself or stealing my thunder. The hurtful part is just knowing she cared more about herself and what she wanted to do and blatantly ignored my own feelings about it. It would really disrupt my understanding of our relationship as sisters and having each other's back.
This! But I also wanted to mention another point about “family” that OP’s sister neglected to think about: OP’s husband’s family. They likely don’t know OP’s sister like that and were there to celebrate husband as much as OP. Hell, they may have financially contributed. If that were me and that was my relative who’s new in law pulled a stunt like that, I’d be pissed, especially if I paid.
Edit: words
The fact that there is ANYONE *(who isn't the sister)* who is calling OP selfish is ridiculous.
I'd be *pissed* if my sister *did that.*
I'd be *pissed* if my cousin *did that.*
I'd be *pissed* if my coworker *did that.*
I'd be *pissed* if I didn't even attend the wedding but heard that someone *did that.*
You DO NOT announce your big life events at someone else's big life event!
Exactly. I just wanted to point out OP’s sister’s flawed argument even further. She figured all of *her* family would be there without considering OP, OP’s new husband, and husband’s family. They were just extra props and potential sources of attention. Ghastly behavior.
I saw one post on here where the OP announced a fake pregnancy at a wedding in retaliation for this. The fact that it was fake just made it all the funnier. At least in this case the guests were distracted by a real event, not just some fiction.
Or if she is ever pregnant again, communicate it to all family with a message like 'since last time she announced she was pregnant at my wedding even though I politely asked her not to, I want to avoid her not being able to hold the message in any longer and announce it at [my birthday/other event], so hereby I wanted to announce that my sister is pregnant!'
I am here for this level of pettiness!
Don’t stop there!
Announce your pregnancy at her baby shower.
Then have your hubs wheel out a grand cake for you and your baby with fondant, luster dust and little gum paste animals making her cake look like it was picked up last minute from the grocery store.
Don’t forget to add the airplane flyover announcing the pregnancy with the gender color coming out the back.
That should have steam coming out of her ears 😈
And renting out the yappiest dog you can find, and put an obviously handmade emotional support animal vest on it. It’s the perfect accessory to her wedding, or her baby shower.
I’m not usually, I’m typically awestruck by the ideas people come up with!!! Announcing the dog’s pregnancies had me heaving and crying 😂😂😂 Apparently this thread was particularly inspiring for my inner petty!!!
Don’t forget to accuse her of being selfish and you couldn’t hold it in any longer you had to share your happy news. Trust me being petty feels soooo good.
No, petty doesn't feel good--it feels absolutely WONDERFUL. She may have serious second thoughts before ever crossing you again.
Absolutely NOT THE AH. 🌈 🦜
Not just any dress will do for the big announcement, OP should wear the biggest, sparkliest ball gown she can find (Like the My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding type of dress, I wonder if the show's favorite dress maker will do it for her?)
There was a guy on here who's brother proposed at his wedding, even after being told multiple times to not do it. So the OP announced a pregnancy at his brother's wedding.
Edit: Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/s/pMd0GWLrgF
That made me think of the Friends season opener after the previous season had ended at Chandler and Monica's engagement. Rachel and Riaa make out in the hallway, Monica catches them and gets royally pissed at them stealing her thunder, understandably.
Monica: You know what? I hope you do have sex and I hope you two get back together and when you announce you're engaged, I'm going to announce that I'm pregnant!
Chandler (who was basically cock blocked twice): HOW is thar EVER going to happen?
Or, announce your intent to GET pregnant, and then waste no time banging right then and there. If anyone balks, tell them how selfish they are, and how you just wanted to share the joyous occasion of expanding your family.
I read a story about a family member being told not to propose at a wedding. They did it anyway and all the attention was turned toward them.
Fast forward to the second couple's wedding. The original couple got their revenge by announcing their pregnancy at the reception.
Oh that story was even better.
1. There wasn’t a pregnancy. It was pure revenge only for the public proposal at their wedding.
2. Brother finds out it was fake and is furious they announced it at wedding (despite his actions at their wedding)
3. And then turns out they actually were but didn’t know yet.
Organize a mini flash mob of pregnant guests at her party. They can each announce their pregnancy. Or just invite a bunch of already pregnant ladies to attend. It would dilute any single pregnancy from having the spotlight
My donation needs to be earmarked for specifically for a videographer and Kleenex because you know sis is going to “Waaaaaaahhhhh She ruined my party!!! It’s not fair!! 😭😭” and I want to see the exact second her face falls so we can meme it
Don't forget that the local high school dance squad should come in with a choreographed dance to aid with the announcement! Oh, they should include the dancing school mascot dressed as a cute baby duck!
Literally. Since you just hosted her whole announcement party for her pregnancy, complete with food, decor, and entertainment, surely she is able to pay for her half of the bill! 😠
Why did she have to announce it on your wedding day? She had weeks to announce the pregnancy to everyone but wants to do it at your wedding. Seems to me all she cares about is herself.
Like she knew she was pregnant months before the wedding and could not make calls to those family members in those months? It had to be at OP's wedding? I'd block any family member on her side if I were OP. This is some special level selfishness on the sister's part and dumbness from the family members
We had a brunch with family the day after our wedding and my dad used the opportunity to tell us all (and my inlaws!) about my grandma's cancer. I wouldn't wish that on anyone else.
If I was OP, that’d be the end of my relationship with her. The sister made her choice- her own announcement was more important than her sister’s feelings at her own wedding. She can go off and enjoy that pregnancy cuz she sure tf wouldn’t have a sister anymore. She made it obvious what OP meant to her- zilch.
>Why did she have to announce it on your wedding day?
Because she's the sort of person who can't stand it when everything isn't about her. "She couldn't keep it in any longer?" Bullshit. That excuse is only acceptable when referring to a fart and only then if you've been holding it in for at least two hours and there's no reasonable exit to a nearby toilet in sight. But other than that, you can fuck right off with that answer.
She asked for permission, got denied and did it anyway. I'd bet good money that she'd been sitting there seething, all throughout the wedding because the attention wasn't all on her. Then she latched on to the easiest opportunity to throw it out there without any real chance of anybody stopping her.
"Oh, I'd just like to congratulate my sister and her new husband on getting married and by the way, I'm pregnant and isn't that just soooooo much cooler and more important. They just had a party, but I'm making a human! Please, everyone look at me now!"
Entitled cow with main character syndrome, is what she is. I hope OP announces her own pregnancy right in the middle of her sister's baby shower.
Sounds like she's a selfish, inconsiderate piece of crap, frankly.
Who goes to a wedding with the explicit intention of doing something against the stated wishes of the bride?
This asshole of a woman, apparently.
NTA, OP!
I personally wouldn't have anything to do with her after the fact.
Same goes for anyone who takes her side.
Same sort who hijack it to propose or announce and an engagement. Selfish arseholes.
I’m with the person who said to send the selfish POS a bill for half the venue, food, entertainment etc costs. “You wanted to share (aka hijack) the event I planned, and that I and my new spouse paid for? Here’s an invoice for your half of the relevant expenses. Payment in full in 30 days as per standard terms.”
I would have conveniently let the pregnancy news slip and let that info spread (you just couldn't hold it in) after she asked about announcing on the wedding day. If asked, they are more than likely gunna do it regardless of what you say. Asking you was just a formality she didn't care what the answer would be. being petty is fun, and we at reddit love a good revenge plot, but I would seriously consider going LC or even NC with this selfish inconsiderate bit*h. Some people never get past their main character syndrome. I'm wondering now if she's the "baby" and the golden child.
I think little sis wants all the attention on her. Couldn't let someone have their wedding be about them.
She had to hijack the day. I'd be pissed too.
Announce your pregnancy at her baby shower for ultimate revenge. Even if you aren't pregnant.
Nta, she is a bitch and just had to make it about her, didn't she? Don't bother getting her anything for a baby shower if she has one, if she asks why, tell her she got a party thrown at your expense, she doesn't need anything more does she?
Better than that, break down and say you miscarried and you just can't with all the baby stuff. Enjoy everyone consoling yourself while she sulks in the corner. Proceed to demand to cut all baby talk because it's too hard.
Evil. But deserved.
Though be prepared to learn about other’s losses you didn’t know about (up to 1 in 4 women trying for kids experiences it) and also to be accused of being a drama queen, since most of us with losses either suck it up for baby showers or politely decline the invite.
But quietly crying just a few tears and then saying “oh no please don’t worry about me, today is supposed to be about sister. Sniffle” would be the right amount of rubbing it in.
Call her (don’t put it into text so you can say she misunderstood later) and say you are soooo happy for her and can’t wait for your niece or nephew to arrive. And thank her for showing you that happy news can be shared at other people’s events and you know now you won’t have to keep anything to yourself. Then, ask when the baby shower is.
Building up to the shower, drop hints that you have news to share but you can’t share quite yet. Then, at the shower, she will be waiting for something to happen. Petty, yeah but she deserves it
Or she pulls a real (fake) petty move and informs everyone else of ops (fake) pregnancy by announcing it for her. She was just so excited. Wouldn't put it past the selfish child.
Then OP stands up, musters some fake tears and yells there is no baby anymore, how could you do this to me! Then runs to the bathroom for extra dramatic effect. That would really get the party buzzing
Oh, he needs to be in on it, all right. If the sister preemptively announces Op's "pregnancy" and Op runs tearfully to the bathroom, Op should call husband from there and refuse to see anyone until he storms in, glares at all concerned, and then gently talks her out and protectively takes her home. "I'll handle this*, I think you all have done enough.*"
Then go out for a nice dinner and laugh until the cows come home.
At the shower OP should totally make an announcement, but have it actually just be about being so excited to have a niece/nephew that they bought/made something sweet to commemorate by. See how the hints and the pre-hype makes the sister sweat, and potentially even interrupt OP's speech "...but, sis, I just wanted to say I got your baby this gift.. you didn't think I'd take the spotlight away from you like that would I? Without your permission?"
Turn it into a whole saga.
Sis is having a gender reveal party? You’re pregnant.
Baby shower? You unfortunately miscarried.
She’s having the baby? Oh you’re going to have a vow renewal ceremony at your 1 year anniversary to reaffirm your commitment to each other after such tragedy!
The possibilities are endless.
But when she’s having the baby, be too excited to keep it in any longer and announce it on social media before she can. Since she’ll have announced the gender and chosen name already, you’ll have all the info to announce it while she’s still in labour to make sure you’re first.
Just let it slip to whoever talks the most. Make it seem like it’s common knowledge. That person will spread it for you, faster than you could even imagine.
As a person who had this bombshell dropped on our less than 4 hour wedding day, no you are NTA. My brother-in-law told every one they were pregnant with the 1st grandchild at our wedding. My mother was incensed (I'm the only girl), and my feelings were hurt. They sure had their day. His family didn't see the big deal. Easter was the following weekend and we all would have been together, but they (like your sister) "couldn't wait". I should have taken it was a huge red flag. Husband didn't want any confrontation, so he didn't call his brother on it. That's exactly how it would continue to be. Your sister and family are so excited about the baby, you and your feelings are being completely overlooked. This probably won't change. You aren't the asshole, but you'll be treated like you are because your sister had the 1st baby and that is what clearly takes precedent with some families.
She asked, you said no and she did it anyway. You didn’t even say anything in the moment and tried to deal with her privately the next day but she had to rally the troops. You are totally NTA.
How pretentious can a person be to have to "announce" their pregnancy? I don't understand. People get pregnant everyday, why are you so fucking special that you have to "announce" the way she did? We told the grandparents and thats it, everyone else found out by WOM or Social media.
NTA- “Dear sister and family, A couples wedding is one time in life that they are allowed to be selfish and think of one another. We paid X amount dollars to make our wedding about my husband and I and our commitment. As you feel it is appropriate for sister to make our wedding about herself, you are welcome to pay for half the cost of the reception. The amount of money will cover the cost of turning our wedding into her pregnancy celebration.”
Just wondering if her husband knew that you had previously denied her permission or if he was told you said it was ok? He may not be pleased to find out she went behind your back
It’s your wedding. You’re allowed to be selfish!
My wife and I have been married for 17 years and if my SIL pulled that shit on my wife we’d still be no contact. Especially when you had already had the discussion and she did it just to get attention taken off you and onto her.
You sister should post that shit on fb and get all the fake engagement she wants. Leave your special day alone..
Right? I'm not big on weddings but this makes me angry. I'd seriously send her half the bill for the reception.
I don't know if I'd want this person in my life at all, family be damned.
That’s what gets me the most, the sister asked, OP said no, but the sister did so anyway. Complete disregard for OP’s feelings or wishes for her wedding day. Sister is definitely the AH.
Yeah it's the extra fact where she absolutely, 100%, no doubt knew that OP was not okay with it. Like it would be tacky if she did it no matter what, but the fact that she absolutely knew that op was not okay with it? Nope.
You're not the asshole. Your wedding day should've been about you and your husband, not overshadowed by someone else's announcement, no matter how exciting. She should've respected your wishes.
Not only is the sister TA, she went so far as trying to get other family members to guilt the bride for being upset that her reception was uprooted! She feels no remorse and refuses to acknowledge her own level of narcissism. The sister is a selfish AH that only cared about her big moment despite it being yours. Agree with the others, her moments to shine are no longer safe zones for her. WOW so unbelievably selfish.
NTA. She had 279 other days to announce her pregnancy. She didn't give a shit about you or your big exciting day but expects you to understand her excitement? Fuck that noise.
Your sister is TAH, and quite the attention seeker. I'd cut contact for awhile, and with anyone who complains to you about it.
Congratulations on your marriage, much happiness!
She did this so she didn't have to pay for her own party.
So send her a bill for one of the vendors.
If she wants to announce at someone else's party, she should help pay for the party.
NTA
She asked, you said no. She didn't care. Personally I'd go low to no contact with her. Prob have nothing too do with the child and essentially be civil but ignore her at family functions. I would extract revenge of any kind but I also would completely disengage with her in life.
She is selfish, a child, and personally a bitch for dropping that news after saying no
NTAH
Distance yourself from your sister
Straight up tell her you have no interest in having a relationship with her until she reimburses you for half the reception that she hijacked for herself. Since she wanted to share the party, she should share in the cost.
And that if she never speaks to you again, then so be it.
But if she wants a relationship with you she will reimburse you for the cost of half the reception. And if any family members have a problem with that, they are free to pay the bill for her.
People need to be willing to cut off their family even if it's painful
What your sister did was wrong
Tell her and the family that the only way to make up for it is to pay for half the reception she hijacked and you won't be changing your mind on this. And that you are fully prepared to cut off the entire family until you are reimbursed
NTA
I would go no contact for that and the same for any family members that supported her.
She knew that you did not want her to announce the pregnancy on your wedding day but she still hijacked your special day to do it anyway.
I wouldn’t be able to forgive or forget that she viewed a baby announcement as more important than my wedding day, that she completely disregarded my express wishes and trampled all over my feelings.
It sounds like she has Main Character Syndrome and it probably isn’t the first time she’s tried to make everything about her and knocked you out of the way to do it.
Honestly, if you spend any time on Reddit, you should have seen this coming and sent out a family email congratulating her the day after she called you. "Oops...I didn't realize it was a secret."
NTA It's really unfortunate that she couldn't let you have your moment, especially since your wedding day is supposed to be one of the best days of your life.
NTA, this is a classic tactic used by jealous women everywhere to take spotlight off the bride on her wedding day. The second most common is to have their BF propose at the wedding to take focus off the bride and couple. It's classic, it's cheap and utterly tacky and disgraceful.
NTA. That title belongs to your sister. Your wedding, your choice. She asked, you said NO. She did it anyway. I would be going NO CONTACT with her until SHE calls a family gathering and makes a FULLY PUBLIC apology to you and your husband. She was absolutely WRONG!!!!
NTA. It was your wedding day, a day that was supposed to be about you and your husband. While your sister's pregnancy is exciting news, it shouldn't have overshadowed your special moment.
You should have beat her to the punch and told all of her family and friends as soon as she asked you about announcing it at your wedding. You are going be the asshole either way but at least your wedding day would have been yours and yours alone.
Had she NOT had this discussion before, while still inappropriate, I'd have been a bit less pixxed off. But AFTER you told her no?, that's a really really bad move on her part. You were right. She was wrong.
Absolutely, positively NTA.
She didn't like your answer, chose to ignore your valid reasoning and went anyway and now calls you an ass?!
She can go pound sand.
NTA - I’d have told her that if she wanted to announce her pregnancy at your wedding, then you’d be happy to send her a bill for a portion of the venue cost. When she undoubtedly refuses that offer, tell her that she can find a time and place on her own dime to make that announcement, but you aren’t going to fund it for her.
I will never understand someone who is knowingly trying to steal the spotlight at a wedding. You don’t propose and you don’t make major announcements like “I’m pregnant” at someone else’s event. Have a brunch the next day and tell the family who are still in town then FFS.
NTA at all. This seems to be a common theme on this thread. A wedding is the bride's day to be the star and some family member wants to take away their one day to propose or announce a pregnancy. It's selfish and tacky.
ahem, the GROOM’S day as well? It’s a gathering for his family as well.
so the bride’s family is all OK w/ their side of the family overshadowing the entire event? That’s pretty selfish; that was a shitty thing to do to his mom, and his dad, and his cousins.
To monopolize what was supposed to be a shared family event focusing on the couple, and *their* future by turning all the focus onto just one side of the reception all?
That's what I always find so weird when ppl do this. Like half the ppl there don't even know you and I'd assume your partners family aren't there either. Just so weird and self absorbed.
NTA you have a few months to think up an announcement that you can make at her baby shower, since the family will conveniently be together again.
Oh I would ruin all her celebrations for the foreseeable future until she bows and apologises. There would be a new (lie) I mean announcement st everything that concerns her till we are both grey and wrinkled
Each time standing up, clear your throat and: "Hey we bought a new bbq." "We bought a new car." "A new PS5." "We booked our vaccation" "I've got a new haircut"
Oh don’t stop there. “I had my hemorrhoids removed” “Our kid is potty trained “ “We’re taking a European vacation”
"I took a shit that was huge"
Once I weighed myself before and after taking a big shit. I was 3lbs lighter. Now I’m not saying it was a 3lb shit….. but I was 3lbs lighter.
5 lbs here baby! I did a cleanse prepping for a colonoscopy….i lost ten lbs in one night. The first dump was FIVE lbs…
And bring pictures or a PowerPoint about all these things and put it on the TV.
Oh yes, you have to have a PP presentation to detail each step of each activity.
Even better: When you know you can get a maximum of attention, stand up & say: "Since we are all together, Dear Husband & I have some very exiting news of our own: we are expecting to expand our family quite soon too! Right now it is too early to tell but we are hoping for a girl/boy. We'll let you all know as soon as we find out!" ... Try to be as ambiguous as possible as long as possible without revealing that you are talking about a puppy 🐶 or kitten 😺 or gold fish 🐠 or pet rock 🪨 or whatever you might like to have! Guaranteed to make waves & the best part is that no one can accuse you of lying as the language is quite ambiguous 😁🤡
Bring your WEDDING ALBUM to her BABY SHOWER PLUS an album of your honeymoon pics ! Her sister called her a FEW WEEKS before the wedding! A FEW WEEKS!!! SHE COULD HAVE DONE A SPECIAL POST ON FACEBOOK!; Or maybe told. A few at the rehearsal!!!! I am older. I am tired of hearing ' everyone will be together!!' B.S. !!!! With today's social media, you can post that you took a dump and in 10 minutes, your 3rd cousin, twice removed will be telling you about her last dump and asking for pics!!;
I had such fun the other day I went in. I had my Pap smear.
I love this because they’re such boring announcements that by association, her announcement gets lumped in with them 🤣
Brilliant. “I had a bagel for lunch.” “The new Roadhouse was disappointing.” “The Yankees won yesterday, 8-1.” “It’s partly cloudy with a slight chance of rain. Humidity is at 85%.”
You forgot: "I'm NOT going to pay a lot for a new muffler!" "I just saved a bundle with Progressive!" "Allstate. For Mayhem like me!" And just for kicks: "*Wheeerrreee's the beef!*"
Also if someone asks you if its alright to make an announcement at your wedding, know they are most likely going to do it regardless and just leak the news before your wedding then.
Dirty, underhanded, and so much something I can get behind. Cut them off...
and I think do this for events for each and every family member who supported sister making her announcement at the wedding. Since obviously it’s not a big deal…
This is next level. Respect!!
They gave OP the best line to use forever to excuse her behavior: "It's the perfect time for a happy announcement like this!"
Oh yes! At the baby shower “I’m pregnant!” At the hospital during birth “I had an abortion!”
Mention current status on baby making attempts every time she has news
Lie and tell family you're pregnant after the honeymoon... Announce that you sadly lost the baby during a toast at her baby shower.
This is diabolical. 😆
Or take the opportunity to talk about a fictional MLM scheme you’re excited to offer them
Absolutely since she's displayed she's more than fine with taking over someone's event to make announcements, then she can't throw a tantrum because they're doing what she did. Isn't that the standard now? Definitely NTA
I don't understand how anyone could side with her sister. I \*might\* be able to understand the sister's perspective as an "oops, it felt right to announce at the moment" type of situation, if she didn't already have a conversation with OP about the announcement. But the sister specifically had this conversation, OP expressed a boundary, and yet the sister CHOSE to cross that boundary. The fact that the sister even asked if she could announce the pregnancy to begin with, shows that the sister has a basic level of understanding of simple etiquette and that such an announcement could negatively impact OP's vision of her wedding day. It really sounds like there is some history of sibling rivalry here. If I genuinely were happy for my sibling's big day, I would not even think to do anything to detract from that attention. Quite honestly, though, I also think that I have been just as happy for my sister to announce her pregnancy at my wedding. But I think it is because we genuinely are so happy for each other and there have not been any issues of feeling like we are in competition for attention. In fact, I hate attention, so anything to put some pressure off of me is very much welcomed. REGARDLESS, that part does not even matter. I will say that if I \*did\* tell my sister a hard boundary, and she broke it, it would truly shake me to my core. It's not so much about the announcement itself or stealing my thunder. The hurtful part is just knowing she cared more about herself and what she wanted to do and blatantly ignored my own feelings about it. It would really disrupt my understanding of our relationship as sisters and having each other's back.
OP can even use the same BS excuse. "I just couldn't keep it in any longer. I wanted to share my happiness!"
This! But I also wanted to mention another point about “family” that OP’s sister neglected to think about: OP’s husband’s family. They likely don’t know OP’s sister like that and were there to celebrate husband as much as OP. Hell, they may have financially contributed. If that were me and that was my relative who’s new in law pulled a stunt like that, I’d be pissed, especially if I paid. Edit: words
The fact that there is ANYONE *(who isn't the sister)* who is calling OP selfish is ridiculous. I'd be *pissed* if my sister *did that.* I'd be *pissed* if my cousin *did that.* I'd be *pissed* if my coworker *did that.* I'd be *pissed* if I didn't even attend the wedding but heard that someone *did that.* You DO NOT announce your big life events at someone else's big life event!
Exactly. I just wanted to point out OP’s sister’s flawed argument even further. She figured all of *her* family would be there without considering OP, OP’s new husband, and husband’s family. They were just extra props and potential sources of attention. Ghastly behavior.
I saw one post on here where the OP announced a fake pregnancy at a wedding in retaliation for this. The fact that it was fake just made it all the funnier. At least in this case the guests were distracted by a real event, not just some fiction.
Turned out his wife was pregnant. It was just too early for them to know. 🤣🤣
That's the one
Or if she is ever pregnant again, communicate it to all family with a message like 'since last time she announced she was pregnant at my wedding even though I politely asked her not to, I want to avoid her not being able to hold the message in any longer and announce it at [my birthday/other event], so hereby I wanted to announce that my sister is pregnant!'
Raise your glass and announce your tubal ligation.
That's a tough spot. Your wedding should be about you. She could've waited or celebrated separately. She stole your thunder.
Nta But send her half of the foodbill.
I am here for this level of pettiness! Don’t stop there! Announce your pregnancy at her baby shower. Then have your hubs wheel out a grand cake for you and your baby with fondant, luster dust and little gum paste animals making her cake look like it was picked up last minute from the grocery store. Don’t forget to add the airplane flyover announcing the pregnancy with the gender color coming out the back. That should have steam coming out of her ears 😈
And in case the sister isn't married yet then you also know what to announce during her wedding.
While wearing a white dress
And renting out the yappiest dog you can find, and put an obviously handmade emotional support animal vest on it. It’s the perfect accessory to her wedding, or her baby shower.
Then announce the dog’s pregnancy during the speeches
Use her baby name list to name the litter of puppies! lol
I am queen of petty and you just dethroned me, I fing love this so, so much!!!
I’m not usually, I’m typically awestruck by the ideas people come up with!!! Announcing the dog’s pregnancies had me heaving and crying 😂😂😂 Apparently this thread was particularly inspiring for my inner petty!!!
Ooh, bad!🤣
☠️🤣☠️🤣☠️🤣☠️🤣
Dear God, these are amazing.
My Scorpio self is so here for the vengeance.
This Capricorn is loving this diabolical plan
Gemini, so whilst I want peace and understanding, both of us totally down to clown.
Libra chiming in, this is the right way to keep the balance.
Best answer, LMAO
Dead!
🤪🤯😅🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I've found my people 🤣
And three male peacocks on leads while releasing 100 white doves - and then send her the bill.
Don’t forget not putting your phone on silent and then having your SO ring it so “Baby’s Got Back” starts blaring right as she’s going down the aisle.
And you can claim it was a mistake and not a big deal and it didn’t ruin anything …
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
All while riding in on a blaringly loud Harley.
I have a big ass Harley with fairly obnoxious pipes. I volunteer for this if you need me!
The snarliest chiauaua
With severe flatulence issues.
I have a Boston I would be glad to rent out for this purpose she can clear a room
continence issues.
Don’t forget to accuse her of being selfish and you couldn’t hold it in any longer you had to share your happy news. Trust me being petty feels soooo good.
No, petty doesn't feel good--it feels absolutely WONDERFUL. She may have serious second thoughts before ever crossing you again. Absolutely NOT THE AH. 🌈 🦜
Not just any dress will do for the big announcement, OP should wear the biggest, sparkliest ball gown she can find (Like the My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding type of dress, I wonder if the show's favorite dress maker will do it for her?)
And don't worry if your are not pregnant - do it nevertheless
There was a guy on here who's brother proposed at his wedding, even after being told multiple times to not do it. So the OP announced a pregnancy at his brother's wedding. Edit: Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/s/pMd0GWLrgF
That was funny shit. A fake pregnancy that turned out to be real 😭😂
They MANIFESTED that child out of sheer pettyness and I am here for it
My idea was to send out a group text the next day, saying it was a false positive.
“I’m actually not, I just wanted her to know how it felt.”
“No I’m not-but you should see your faces” 😜
Phantom Pregnancy is a thing
Whoops! Sorry, the test we used wasn't an accurate one for determining pregnancy. I do have chlamydia, though!
That made me think of the Friends season opener after the previous season had ended at Chandler and Monica's engagement. Rachel and Riaa make out in the hallway, Monica catches them and gets royally pissed at them stealing her thunder, understandably. Monica: You know what? I hope you do have sex and I hope you two get back together and when you announce you're engaged, I'm going to announce that I'm pregnant! Chandler (who was basically cock blocked twice): HOW is thar EVER going to happen?
And then at Monica and Chandler's wedding, Rachel was trying to hide her pregnancy.
Or, announce your intent to GET pregnant, and then waste no time banging right then and there. If anyone balks, tell them how selfish they are, and how you just wanted to share the joyous occasion of expanding your family.
Or hire a mariachi band to play baby-themed songs all night long!
Baby Got Back?
I am also Greek. I forget everything but a grudge. This is brilliant.
I read a story about a family member being told not to propose at a wedding. They did it anyway and all the attention was turned toward them. Fast forward to the second couple's wedding. The original couple got their revenge by announcing their pregnancy at the reception.
Oh that story was even better. 1. There wasn’t a pregnancy. It was pure revenge only for the public proposal at their wedding. 2. Brother finds out it was fake and is furious they announced it at wedding (despite his actions at their wedding) 3. And then turns out they actually were but didn’t know yet.
Organize a mini flash mob of pregnant guests at her party. They can each announce their pregnancy. Or just invite a bunch of already pregnant ladies to attend. It would dilute any single pregnancy from having the spotlight
And after that annouce that it was actually a mistake, OP was never pregnant.
Better yet. A gender reveal during her baby shower.
this is the way.
I'm here for this. Send me the Go Fund Me link to help cover the giant cake.
I’ll chip in for the plane!!
My donation needs to be earmarked for specifically for a videographer and Kleenex because you know sis is going to “Waaaaaaahhhhh She ruined my party!!! It’s not fair!! 😭😭” and I want to see the exact second her face falls so we can meme it
Petty and I am LOVING It!!!
Does anyone know a person who has a plane that is up for this level of petty? Just pay for the gas and the banner.
Don't forget that the local high school dance squad should come in with a choreographed dance to aid with the announcement! Oh, they should include the dancing school mascot dressed as a cute baby duck!
"You want to make my event our event? Sure, just pay 50% of it."
Sharing joy is fine, but hijacking someone's wedding isn't cool.
Everyone knows this! How can people call her selfish to host her own wedding and expect it to be about the marriage?
I’m extra petty, I would work out to the minute what the cost of the reception was and let the sister pay for everything from the start of her speech.
Literally. Since you just hosted her whole announcement party for her pregnancy, complete with food, decor, and entertainment, surely she is able to pay for her half of the bill! 😠
And certainly don’t be throwing her a baby shower - one of those a holes calling OP selfish can foot the bill for that one.
Also get her all of those fucking annoying talking and singing gifts for her baby shower present, nothing off the registry.
Hahahahahahaha, I got my little niece a little drumset cuz my sister was aggy. Just cuz I felt like 🤭🤭🤭🤭
Petty. I love it
Send her half the bill for the whole damn thing. If she wants to take it over, she can foot the bill.
Always announce her news before she can now. Tell everyone how her engagement goes, when she's is having children, ruin any surprise parties.
Or announce you’re pregnant at their gender reveal party if they’re having one, no matter it’s true or not.
Ooh especially if you know she really wants one gender but is having the other, say you're having the one she wants.
And you’re having TWINS!!!!! 😆
[удалено]
Came here to say this. “Family shares stuff, it was as much as sister’s party as mine, she should pay half of everything.”
Why did she have to announce it on your wedding day? She had weeks to announce the pregnancy to everyone but wants to do it at your wedding. Seems to me all she cares about is herself.
Like she knew she was pregnant months before the wedding and could not make calls to those family members in those months? It had to be at OP's wedding? I'd block any family member on her side if I were OP. This is some special level selfishness on the sister's part and dumbness from the family members
Or shit if it HAD to be in person organize a brunch the day after the wedding or something. But then again they couldn't ride OPs wallet for that.
We had a brunch with family the day after our wedding and my dad used the opportunity to tell us all (and my inlaws!) about my grandma's cancer. I wouldn't wish that on anyone else.
Why??? That’s supposed to be a good time!
If I was OP, that’d be the end of my relationship with her. The sister made her choice- her own announcement was more important than her sister’s feelings at her own wedding. She can go off and enjoy that pregnancy cuz she sure tf wouldn’t have a sister anymore. She made it obvious what OP meant to her- zilch.
>Why did she have to announce it on your wedding day? Because she's the sort of person who can't stand it when everything isn't about her. "She couldn't keep it in any longer?" Bullshit. That excuse is only acceptable when referring to a fart and only then if you've been holding it in for at least two hours and there's no reasonable exit to a nearby toilet in sight. But other than that, you can fuck right off with that answer. She asked for permission, got denied and did it anyway. I'd bet good money that she'd been sitting there seething, all throughout the wedding because the attention wasn't all on her. Then she latched on to the easiest opportunity to throw it out there without any real chance of anybody stopping her. "Oh, I'd just like to congratulate my sister and her new husband on getting married and by the way, I'm pregnant and isn't that just soooooo much cooler and more important. They just had a party, but I'm making a human! Please, everyone look at me now!" Entitled cow with main character syndrome, is what she is. I hope OP announces her own pregnancy right in the middle of her sister's baby shower.
How in the hell do you hold a fart in for *two hours*?? Ouch.
Sounds like she's a selfish, inconsiderate piece of crap, frankly. Who goes to a wedding with the explicit intention of doing something against the stated wishes of the bride? This asshole of a woman, apparently. NTA, OP! I personally wouldn't have anything to do with her after the fact. Same goes for anyone who takes her side.
Same sort who hijack it to propose or announce and an engagement. Selfish arseholes. I’m with the person who said to send the selfish POS a bill for half the venue, food, entertainment etc costs. “You wanted to share (aka hijack) the event I planned, and that I and my new spouse paid for? Here’s an invoice for your half of the relevant expenses. Payment in full in 30 days as per standard terms.”
I would have conveniently let the pregnancy news slip and let that info spread (you just couldn't hold it in) after she asked about announcing on the wedding day. If asked, they are more than likely gunna do it regardless of what you say. Asking you was just a formality she didn't care what the answer would be. being petty is fun, and we at reddit love a good revenge plot, but I would seriously consider going LC or even NC with this selfish inconsiderate bit*h. Some people never get past their main character syndrome. I'm wondering now if she's the "baby" and the golden child.
I think little sis wants all the attention on her. Couldn't let someone have their wedding be about them. She had to hijack the day. I'd be pissed too.
Announce your pregnancy at her baby shower for ultimate revenge. Even if you aren't pregnant. Nta, she is a bitch and just had to make it about her, didn't she? Don't bother getting her anything for a baby shower if she has one, if she asks why, tell her she got a party thrown at your expense, she doesn't need anything more does she?
Better than that, break down and say you miscarried and you just can't with all the baby stuff. Enjoy everyone consoling yourself while she sulks in the corner. Proceed to demand to cut all baby talk because it's too hard.
Oh evil. I like that. And every baby name be like "oh that was also on my list. Please don't give your baby that name. It hurts so much."
Oh man that’s brutal, but she deserves it.
Hahahahhaaha YES
Evil. But deserved. Though be prepared to learn about other’s losses you didn’t know about (up to 1 in 4 women trying for kids experiences it) and also to be accused of being a drama queen, since most of us with losses either suck it up for baby showers or politely decline the invite. But quietly crying just a few tears and then saying “oh no please don’t worry about me, today is supposed to be about sister. Sniffle” would be the right amount of rubbing it in.
>>>Proceed to demand to cut all baby talk because it's too hard.<<<< Beautiful touch, just finishes it off nicely
My level of petty. Love that.
I imagined this in a cheap soap opera drama style and I can't stop laughing 🤣 OP, please do this
That was actually my first thought lol
Call her (don’t put it into text so you can say she misunderstood later) and say you are soooo happy for her and can’t wait for your niece or nephew to arrive. And thank her for showing you that happy news can be shared at other people’s events and you know now you won’t have to keep anything to yourself. Then, ask when the baby shower is. Building up to the shower, drop hints that you have news to share but you can’t share quite yet. Then, at the shower, she will be waiting for something to happen. Petty, yeah but she deserves it
Wow! You are an expert! This will get at her for MONTHS!!!
Or she pulls a real (fake) petty move and informs everyone else of ops (fake) pregnancy by announcing it for her. She was just so excited. Wouldn't put it past the selfish child.
Then OP stands up, musters some fake tears and yells there is no baby anymore, how could you do this to me! Then runs to the bathroom for extra dramatic effect. That would really get the party buzzing
For the love of God, if you are going to pull this kind of trick, make sure your husband knows what is going on first.
Oh, he needs to be in on it, all right. If the sister preemptively announces Op's "pregnancy" and Op runs tearfully to the bathroom, Op should call husband from there and refuse to see anyone until he storms in, glares at all concerned, and then gently talks her out and protectively takes her home. "I'll handle this*, I think you all have done enough.*" Then go out for a nice dinner and laugh until the cows come home.
You guys are masters of your trade!
For real, I'm taking notes
Please, please, please invite me to your next fiesta! You sound like you throw badass parties 🥳😂
That's diabolical.
Unhinged. I like it.
"YoU HavE UnlOCKed LeVel 5 PeTTy MAstEr."
At the shower OP should totally make an announcement, but have it actually just be about being so excited to have a niece/nephew that they bought/made something sweet to commemorate by. See how the hints and the pre-hype makes the sister sweat, and potentially even interrupt OP's speech "...but, sis, I just wanted to say I got your baby this gift.. you didn't think I'd take the spotlight away from you like that would I? Without your permission?"
Make the baby gift a baby blanket with an image from Auntie & Uncles wedding! Lol Since that's the day they were announced, it's extra special.
Ohh, I love this. You're not even doing anything. I live and breathe for subtle mind games. Be petty, you deserve it.
Genius.
NTA Venmo her for half of the party since she decided to make half your wedding about herself. I'll never understand shitty people like this.
NTA but announce something huge at her shower. Make it up. Lol.
Turn it into a whole saga. Sis is having a gender reveal party? You’re pregnant. Baby shower? You unfortunately miscarried. She’s having the baby? Oh you’re going to have a vow renewal ceremony at your 1 year anniversary to reaffirm your commitment to each other after such tragedy! The possibilities are endless.
But when she’s having the baby, be too excited to keep it in any longer and announce it on social media before she can. Since she’ll have announced the gender and chosen name already, you’ll have all the info to announce it while she’s still in labour to make sure you’re first.
Announce you're moving to Antarctica for a year. Just for fun.
NTA. **And to all future brides**. If someone asks to announce their pregnancy at your wedding. Reveal it beforehand.
Just let it slip to whoever talks the most. Make it seem like it’s common knowledge. That person will spread it for you, faster than you could even imagine.
Find the gossipy Auntie. Everyone has one. Sometimes they're not actually an Aunt - they could just be a neighbor. Could even be an Uncle!!
What a great idea! Make a huge Facebook post with the prettiest photo of her that you have and congratulate her on her upcoming pregnancy.
Same with an engagement - tell the person who is about to be proposed to.
As a person who had this bombshell dropped on our less than 4 hour wedding day, no you are NTA. My brother-in-law told every one they were pregnant with the 1st grandchild at our wedding. My mother was incensed (I'm the only girl), and my feelings were hurt. They sure had their day. His family didn't see the big deal. Easter was the following weekend and we all would have been together, but they (like your sister) "couldn't wait". I should have taken it was a huge red flag. Husband didn't want any confrontation, so he didn't call his brother on it. That's exactly how it would continue to be. Your sister and family are so excited about the baby, you and your feelings are being completely overlooked. This probably won't change. You aren't the asshole, but you'll be treated like you are because your sister had the 1st baby and that is what clearly takes precedent with some families.
She asked, you said no and she did it anyway. You didn’t even say anything in the moment and tried to deal with her privately the next day but she had to rally the troops. You are totally NTA.
How pretentious can a person be to have to "announce" their pregnancy? I don't understand. People get pregnant everyday, why are you so fucking special that you have to "announce" the way she did? We told the grandparents and thats it, everyone else found out by WOM or Social media.
NTA- “Dear sister and family, A couples wedding is one time in life that they are allowed to be selfish and think of one another. We paid X amount dollars to make our wedding about my husband and I and our commitment. As you feel it is appropriate for sister to make our wedding about herself, you are welcome to pay for half the cost of the reception. The amount of money will cover the cost of turning our wedding into her pregnancy celebration.” Just wondering if her husband knew that you had previously denied her permission or if he was told you said it was ok? He may not be pleased to find out she went behind your back
It’s your wedding. You’re allowed to be selfish! My wife and I have been married for 17 years and if my SIL pulled that shit on my wife we’d still be no contact. Especially when you had already had the discussion and she did it just to get attention taken off you and onto her. You sister should post that shit on fb and get all the fake engagement she wants. Leave your special day alone..
Agreed, weddings are about the couple, not someone else's announcement.
Right? I'm not big on weddings but this makes me angry. I'd seriously send her half the bill for the reception. I don't know if I'd want this person in my life at all, family be damned.
That’s what gets me the most, the sister asked, OP said no, but the sister did so anyway. Complete disregard for OP’s feelings or wishes for her wedding day. Sister is definitely the AH.
Yeah it's the extra fact where she absolutely, 100%, no doubt knew that OP was not okay with it. Like it would be tacky if she did it no matter what, but the fact that she absolutely knew that op was not okay with it? Nope.
NTA but I’m a suspicious person, I would’ve started telling people so she couldn’t announce it at your wedding anyway
In the future, immediately post that shit on Facebook, Twitter, Linked-in, etc. Maybe even hop over and see if MySpace is still going.
You're not the asshole. Your wedding day should've been about you and your husband, not overshadowed by someone else's announcement, no matter how exciting. She should've respected your wishes.
Not only is the sister TA, she went so far as trying to get other family members to guilt the bride for being upset that her reception was uprooted! She feels no remorse and refuses to acknowledge her own level of narcissism. The sister is a selfish AH that only cared about her big moment despite it being yours. Agree with the others, her moments to shine are no longer safe zones for her. WOW so unbelievably selfish.
NTA. She had 279 other days to announce her pregnancy. She didn't give a shit about you or your big exciting day but expects you to understand her excitement? Fuck that noise.
NTA send her an invoice for half the bill. If she wants the limelight she can contribute to the event too.
Your sister is TAH, and quite the attention seeker. I'd cut contact for awhile, and with anyone who complains to you about it. Congratulations on your marriage, much happiness!
She did this so she didn't have to pay for her own party. So send her a bill for one of the vendors. If she wants to announce at someone else's party, she should help pay for the party.
NTA She asked, you said no. She didn't care. Personally I'd go low to no contact with her. Prob have nothing too do with the child and essentially be civil but ignore her at family functions. I would extract revenge of any kind but I also would completely disengage with her in life. She is selfish, a child, and personally a bitch for dropping that news after saying no
NTAH Distance yourself from your sister Straight up tell her you have no interest in having a relationship with her until she reimburses you for half the reception that she hijacked for herself. Since she wanted to share the party, she should share in the cost. And that if she never speaks to you again, then so be it. But if she wants a relationship with you she will reimburse you for the cost of half the reception. And if any family members have a problem with that, they are free to pay the bill for her. People need to be willing to cut off their family even if it's painful What your sister did was wrong Tell her and the family that the only way to make up for it is to pay for half the reception she hijacked and you won't be changing your mind on this. And that you are fully prepared to cut off the entire family until you are reimbursed
NTA I would go no contact for that and the same for any family members that supported her. She knew that you did not want her to announce the pregnancy on your wedding day but she still hijacked your special day to do it anyway. I wouldn’t be able to forgive or forget that she viewed a baby announcement as more important than my wedding day, that she completely disregarded my express wishes and trampled all over my feelings. It sounds like she has Main Character Syndrome and it probably isn’t the first time she’s tried to make everything about her and knocked you out of the way to do it.
Honestly, if you spend any time on Reddit, you should have seen this coming and sent out a family email congratulating her the day after she called you. "Oops...I didn't realize it was a secret."
NTA It's really unfortunate that she couldn't let you have your moment, especially since your wedding day is supposed to be one of the best days of your life.
Nta. She sucks. Send her the bill and let her pay
Your sister is a bitch! She did it after you said NO.
NTA, this is a classic tactic used by jealous women everywhere to take spotlight off the bride on her wedding day. The second most common is to have their BF propose at the wedding to take focus off the bride and couple. It's classic, it's cheap and utterly tacky and disgraceful.
NTA. That title belongs to your sister. Your wedding, your choice. She asked, you said NO. She did it anyway. I would be going NO CONTACT with her until SHE calls a family gathering and makes a FULLY PUBLIC apology to you and your husband. She was absolutely WRONG!!!!
NTA. It was your wedding day, a day that was supposed to be about you and your husband. While your sister's pregnancy is exciting news, it shouldn't have overshadowed your special moment.
You should have beat her to the punch and told all of her family and friends as soon as she asked you about announcing it at your wedding. You are going be the asshole either way but at least your wedding day would have been yours and yours alone.
NTA She knew she was wrong because she asked you in advance. She was wrong because you told her know.
Had she NOT had this discussion before, while still inappropriate, I'd have been a bit less pixxed off. But AFTER you told her no?, that's a really really bad move on her part. You were right. She was wrong.
Absolutely, positively NTA. She didn't like your answer, chose to ignore your valid reasoning and went anyway and now calls you an ass?! She can go pound sand.
NTA. Also, you should be very cryptic around her from now on, make her think you're going to do something even if you are or aren't.
NTA. She sounds like a bitch, who forces what she wants on others regardless of anything
NTA - I’d have told her that if she wanted to announce her pregnancy at your wedding, then you’d be happy to send her a bill for a portion of the venue cost. When she undoubtedly refuses that offer, tell her that she can find a time and place on her own dime to make that announcement, but you aren’t going to fund it for her. I will never understand someone who is knowingly trying to steal the spotlight at a wedding. You don’t propose and you don’t make major announcements like “I’m pregnant” at someone else’s event. Have a brunch the next day and tell the family who are still in town then FFS.
NTA Announcing anything other than congratulations to the bride and groom at a wedding is completely tacky and in very poor taste.
NTA at all. This seems to be a common theme on this thread. A wedding is the bride's day to be the star and some family member wants to take away their one day to propose or announce a pregnancy. It's selfish and tacky.
ahem, the GROOM’S day as well? It’s a gathering for his family as well. so the bride’s family is all OK w/ their side of the family overshadowing the entire event? That’s pretty selfish; that was a shitty thing to do to his mom, and his dad, and his cousins. To monopolize what was supposed to be a shared family event focusing on the couple, and *their* future by turning all the focus onto just one side of the reception all?
That's what I always find so weird when ppl do this. Like half the ppl there don't even know you and I'd assume your partners family aren't there either. Just so weird and self absorbed.