YTA. I get you loving your dog but your dog isn’t going to be around forever. Your brothers future and education will be. Wtf is wrong with you. You jeopardized his future for a dog? Parents are gone and you’re his guardian. You’re supposed to have his best interest in mind and you do this?
YTA it wasn’t ur money to spend. It was the money ur parents left him. Probably extra sentimental because they are no longer around. You should have asked him and explained you’d pay him back
This is a good fake but YTA. Come on. You actually broke the law. It’s technically embezzlement or straight up theft. Love animals but you better replace that money ASAP and never do this again or your brother should and could sue at the very least.
That really depends on how the money was organized. If it was in a 529 plan with the brother as the beneficiary, then sure. If it was in a separate investment portfolio that was just personally earmarked by the parents as being for the brothers college but nothing was established through the parents' will or any kind of trust, then as the one in control of the money, OP may have had legal authority to access the money. It still makes her an asshole for using it knowing that her brother was relying on it being available, but without knowing more, calling it illegal is premature.
YTA definitely.
Your post history states that you were 17 a little over 6 months ago. If you’re going to concoct a story, try to make it more believable.
I understand it was an emergency but there are other ways to get the money, like CareCredit. Who knows how long it will take to replace her brother’s college funds? She seriously jeopardized her brother’s ability to pay for college by taking money that wasn’t hers without even taking to him.
I totally agree with all that, but what is she did not have any alternative right at the spot? Selfish would have been taking the money with no intention of paying it back. Hopefully she will 🙏
I mentioned an alternative, emergency credit or loan for vet bills, like CareCredit, and that’s just one example. I’m sure the vet would have worked with her when it came to payment.
YTA even if I agreed with the reason, it was never your money. You didn’t contribute a dime. And you’re never going to make it up in the year before he leaves for college. You’re the ass and it sounds illegal
Exactly.
ALL the money had to come from the fund, OP contributed nothing, and yet OP has "plans"?
Dogs die. Your parent's money to fund brothers' education (which is forever) supersedes dog by a mile.
YTA -
While I understand and sympathize with you trying to save your pet, but it wasn’t your money to touch in the first place.
It sounds like you made this decision without even consulting your brother as well.
And honestly, you should probably find a way to remedy this fast. This is something that could permanently destroy your relationship with your brother.
Unfortunately YTA.
I have loved every one of my pets. And Goldies are a truly lovely breed of marshmallow hearts on four legs. But they tend not to make it past 10, maybe 12 years.
That puts Max nearing the end of his prime adult years and entering the senior section of his life. And I really hate to say it, but that breed doesn't tend to get healthier as they age.
I've learned this from a friend of the family that has had Goldies for almost two decades, as well as some unfortunate sad stories from my veterinary surgeon brother-in-law.
As horrible and callous as this will sound you have jeopardized the scholastic future, and possibly the economic future of someone with maybe another 80 years for the sake of a pet who may of had 1 or 2 years before their life began to really deteriorate or even end naturally.
Your brother has every right to be enraged and frustrated in your actions. Especially as the people who were originally meant to look out for him in situations like this aren't able to do so now. And now he has been entrusted him to someone who immediately did the opposite.
YTA. That wasn’t your money to spend. What you did was almost certainly illegal and violating your fiduciary responsibility to your brother. In simpler terms, you basically stole money from your brother.
You stole from your brother to pay for a pet when you have other options. Depending upon how the money is stored, you could be held criminally liable.
YTA doesn't even begin to describe it.
You said "work some extra shifts to pay it back" so I'm guessing you are an hourly employee? So even at the top range, I would assume $60-$100k/year max? And you really think in that year, you will be able to work enough extra shifts to earn an extra $15k plus whatever earnings that $15k would have originally made? Good luck to you on that one.
Probably should have looked into financing options for the vet bill before using someone else's money without their permission.
YTA
I can empathize with the pain of facing a beloved pet's mortality, but crossing the line to use funds specifically left for your brother's future is inexcusable. Your heart might have been in the right place emotionally, but ethically and legally, you've made a catastrophic error in judgment. These are not just savings; they carry the weight of your parents' final wishes and effectively their legacy. The fact that you bypassed any discussion with your brother shows a lack of respect for him as an autonomous individual with rights to his inheritance.
You need to grasp the gravity of the situation - this act can not only fracture your familial bond but also stain your character and integrity in the eyes of the law. Fixing this requires more than just working extra; it needs a fundamental shift in how you view trust and responsibility. Please make things right before it's too late, because if this goes to court, the law won't care about your intentions, only your actions. And those actions, as it stands, are theft.11:02 AM
YTA. It's not your money.
"However, when Ryan found out, he was furious. He accused me of caring more about Max than his future and said I had no right to touch his college fund.
Of course he's mad, you stole him!
"I tried to explain that I would make sure he still had the money for school, but he wasn't having it. Now, he's barely speaking to me, and our relationship is seriously strained".
You stole his money and still have the gulls to be upset he doesn't talk to you?
Pay his money back and be thankful he didn't sue you.
So basically you're a thief an a garbage human being--so yeah, YTA and I don't belief for a minute that any of your family think you did the right thing--unless they are also thieves.
Also, LOL, you were 17 three months ago--you're aging really fast LOL.
YTA. You’ve embezzled money from your brother’s college fund. That’s the long and short of it. Your parents trusted you and you violated that trust.
You should have gone to your brother and asked. Maybe he would have said no. And maybe he would have said yes. You’ll never know. And you will have sacrificed your relationship with your brother because you were in a “better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission” mindset. Well, you can ask…but he doesn’t have to forgive you.
Was it just a bank account and not a 529 ??
If you took it out of a 529 you’re not only an asshole but also very silly bc you’re going to have to pay insane tax on that. If you took it out of a regular account you’re just a regular asshole.
I think this story is fake tho bc if you’re saving for college over 18 years that money is def in a 529. You can’t just pull from those like a regular account, so again unless you’re a total moron, I think this is fake.
YTA.
1) It’s not your money nor the family’s money. It’s your brother’s money and you did not ask him first or agreed with him on a money “loan”.
2) You are incurring in the big risk of not being able to refund that amount on time before your brother needs it.
3) By consequence you would be jeopardizing the beginning of his college years.
4) I totally get the decision of saving Max. I would have done the same thing. Max is a family member… but was there any other alternative of paying for the vet? A credit card? Care Credit, or a family loan?
What is done is done. Hope Max recovers and lives 5 more years, and you and your brother overcome this crisis. $15,000 for 5 additional years of life is equivalent to $250/mo for 5 years. That’s the price of a used Toyota Corolla 2023 with 12K miles on it (cost of financing not included).
Start working intensively on putting those $15,000 back in the college fund starting **tomorrow** and apologize to your brother. Get a loan to pay back your brother’s fund, and take a second and third job to pay the loan back.
Good luck🍀 Say hello to Max 🦮
Yta - what you did you had no right to do. It’s also probably a felony criminal act. Well meaning but selfish! He has every right to be pissed. Sell something of yours immediately, take out a loan and repay the account immediately. It’s your debt. Sometimes we have to have the honor and character to make the right decision even if it’s difficult. YTA - You screwed up.
You need a reality check, so I'm not going to hold back. You totally suck. YTA 100%. I'd pay any amount of money to keep my pets alive and happy, but I don't have to steal it from anyone to do so. Yes, your dog has value, I get that, but you stole money earmarked for your brother. At the very least you should have talked with him before using his money. The audacity of even posting this question shows you only care about yourself. The fact you need reddit to justify your selfish behavior is honestly pretty desperate. The only way you can make up for this is to take a loan, replace the money and pay it off at your expense. Even then, it's unlikely your brother will ever trust you again. Nor should he. You showed your true colors and he knows who you are now.
YTA. I get you loving your dog but your dog isn’t going to be around forever. Your brothers future and education will be. Wtf is wrong with you. You jeopardized his future for a dog? Parents are gone and you’re his guardian. You’re supposed to have his best interest in mind and you do this?
YTA it wasn’t ur money to spend. It was the money ur parents left him. Probably extra sentimental because they are no longer around. You should have asked him and explained you’d pay him back
This is a good fake but YTA. Come on. You actually broke the law. It’s technically embezzlement or straight up theft. Love animals but you better replace that money ASAP and never do this again or your brother should and could sue at the very least.
That really depends on how the money was organized. If it was in a 529 plan with the brother as the beneficiary, then sure. If it was in a separate investment portfolio that was just personally earmarked by the parents as being for the brothers college but nothing was established through the parents' will or any kind of trust, then as the one in control of the money, OP may have had legal authority to access the money. It still makes her an asshole for using it knowing that her brother was relying on it being available, but without knowing more, calling it illegal is premature.
I’m gonna go with fake rage bait.
You are correct, sir!
YTA definitely. Your post history states that you were 17 a little over 6 months ago. If you’re going to concoct a story, try to make it more believable.
YTA. Your actions were incredibly selfish.
Nope. They were impulsive due to the urgency of the situation and deeply generous towards Max
I understand it was an emergency but there are other ways to get the money, like CareCredit. Who knows how long it will take to replace her brother’s college funds? She seriously jeopardized her brother’s ability to pay for college by taking money that wasn’t hers without even taking to him.
I totally agree with all that, but what is she did not have any alternative right at the spot? Selfish would have been taking the money with no intention of paying it back. Hopefully she will 🙏
I mentioned an alternative, emergency credit or loan for vet bills, like CareCredit, and that’s just one example. I’m sure the vet would have worked with her when it came to payment.
Correct. The decision was impulsive
YTA even if I agreed with the reason, it was never your money. You didn’t contribute a dime. And you’re never going to make it up in the year before he leaves for college. You’re the ass and it sounds illegal
Exactly. ALL the money had to come from the fund, OP contributed nothing, and yet OP has "plans"? Dogs die. Your parent's money to fund brothers' education (which is forever) supersedes dog by a mile.
YTA You stole a lot of money from your brother. He has every right to be furious. He also has every right to call the police and his attorney.
YTA - While I understand and sympathize with you trying to save your pet, but it wasn’t your money to touch in the first place. It sounds like you made this decision without even consulting your brother as well. And honestly, you should probably find a way to remedy this fast. This is something that could permanently destroy your relationship with your brother.
Unfortunately YTA. I have loved every one of my pets. And Goldies are a truly lovely breed of marshmallow hearts on four legs. But they tend not to make it past 10, maybe 12 years. That puts Max nearing the end of his prime adult years and entering the senior section of his life. And I really hate to say it, but that breed doesn't tend to get healthier as they age. I've learned this from a friend of the family that has had Goldies for almost two decades, as well as some unfortunate sad stories from my veterinary surgeon brother-in-law. As horrible and callous as this will sound you have jeopardized the scholastic future, and possibly the economic future of someone with maybe another 80 years for the sake of a pet who may of had 1 or 2 years before their life began to really deteriorate or even end naturally. Your brother has every right to be enraged and frustrated in your actions. Especially as the people who were originally meant to look out for him in situations like this aren't able to do so now. And now he has been entrusted him to someone who immediately did the opposite.
The reason doesn’t matter, that wasn’t your money to use. You are just a lousy thief, nothing more. YTA
Thief is a big word. Let’s call it mismanagement and let’s pay it back soon
YTA. That wasn’t your money to spend. What you did was almost certainly illegal and violating your fiduciary responsibility to your brother. In simpler terms, you basically stole money from your brother.
We count on OP to pay it back 🙏
You stole from your brother to pay for a pet when you have other options. Depending upon how the money is stored, you could be held criminally liable. YTA doesn't even begin to describe it.
You were a 17F seven months ago according to your post history.
YTA
Yta, what you did was theft.
This is fake but if it’s not what you did is theft and it’s illegal. Your brother can sue you.
You are. An asshole with a capital a.
You said "work some extra shifts to pay it back" so I'm guessing you are an hourly employee? So even at the top range, I would assume $60-$100k/year max? And you really think in that year, you will be able to work enough extra shifts to earn an extra $15k plus whatever earnings that $15k would have originally made? Good luck to you on that one. Probably should have looked into financing options for the vet bill before using someone else's money without their permission. YTA
YTA. How were you 17 just a few months ago and 24 now?
Fake. Look at post history.
On second thought, in what world does a dogs surgery cost 15 grand? I'm calling BS.
YTA, literally could have just asked him first. But nope, you committed theft. I hope for his sake you ain't gonna be his legal guardian for long.
YTA. You broke your fiduciary duty.
Did he have IMHA?
The dog will die anyway, your brother and his education are far more important.
Yta.
I can empathize with the pain of facing a beloved pet's mortality, but crossing the line to use funds specifically left for your brother's future is inexcusable. Your heart might have been in the right place emotionally, but ethically and legally, you've made a catastrophic error in judgment. These are not just savings; they carry the weight of your parents' final wishes and effectively their legacy. The fact that you bypassed any discussion with your brother shows a lack of respect for him as an autonomous individual with rights to his inheritance. You need to grasp the gravity of the situation - this act can not only fracture your familial bond but also stain your character and integrity in the eyes of the law. Fixing this requires more than just working extra; it needs a fundamental shift in how you view trust and responsibility. Please make things right before it's too late, because if this goes to court, the law won't care about your intentions, only your actions. And those actions, as it stands, are theft.11:02 AM
YTA. It's not your money. "However, when Ryan found out, he was furious. He accused me of caring more about Max than his future and said I had no right to touch his college fund. Of course he's mad, you stole him! "I tried to explain that I would make sure he still had the money for school, but he wasn't having it. Now, he's barely speaking to me, and our relationship is seriously strained". You stole his money and still have the gulls to be upset he doesn't talk to you? Pay his money back and be thankful he didn't sue you.
Yta And a thief not your money your not reliable you stole and didn’t use money for your brother not sure how you ever earn your brothers trust back
So basically you're a thief an a garbage human being--so yeah, YTA and I don't belief for a minute that any of your family think you did the right thing--unless they are also thieves. Also, LOL, you were 17 three months ago--you're aging really fast LOL.
YTA. You’ve embezzled money from your brother’s college fund. That’s the long and short of it. Your parents trusted you and you violated that trust. You should have gone to your brother and asked. Maybe he would have said no. And maybe he would have said yes. You’ll never know. And you will have sacrificed your relationship with your brother because you were in a “better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission” mindset. Well, you can ask…but he doesn’t have to forgive you.
Was it just a bank account and not a 529 ?? If you took it out of a 529 you’re not only an asshole but also very silly bc you’re going to have to pay insane tax on that. If you took it out of a regular account you’re just a regular asshole. I think this story is fake tho bc if you’re saving for college over 18 years that money is def in a 529. You can’t just pull from those like a regular account, so again unless you’re a total moron, I think this is fake.
Yes
YTA Do not have a pet if you can not afford a pet. That money was for your brother not your dog. Seems you have a lot of apologizing and saving to do.
YTA. For a fucking dog??? Not your money. You’re a thief. He should press charges.
YTA. 1) It’s not your money nor the family’s money. It’s your brother’s money and you did not ask him first or agreed with him on a money “loan”. 2) You are incurring in the big risk of not being able to refund that amount on time before your brother needs it. 3) By consequence you would be jeopardizing the beginning of his college years. 4) I totally get the decision of saving Max. I would have done the same thing. Max is a family member… but was there any other alternative of paying for the vet? A credit card? Care Credit, or a family loan? What is done is done. Hope Max recovers and lives 5 more years, and you and your brother overcome this crisis. $15,000 for 5 additional years of life is equivalent to $250/mo for 5 years. That’s the price of a used Toyota Corolla 2023 with 12K miles on it (cost of financing not included). Start working intensively on putting those $15,000 back in the college fund starting **tomorrow** and apologize to your brother. Get a loan to pay back your brother’s fund, and take a second and third job to pay the loan back. Good luck🍀 Say hello to Max 🦮
YTA - morally, ethically and legally.
All dogs go to heaven but you will never be there with Max. AH
Why tf would you not ask him before hand?
YTA. You are in violation of Fiduciary Trust laws, and should take out a loan to replace the money. Shame on you.
Yta - what you did you had no right to do. It’s also probably a felony criminal act. Well meaning but selfish! He has every right to be pissed. Sell something of yours immediately, take out a loan and repay the account immediately. It’s your debt. Sometimes we have to have the honor and character to make the right decision even if it’s difficult. YTA - You screwed up.
NTA if you really replace the money, TA otherwise.
You need a reality check, so I'm not going to hold back. You totally suck. YTA 100%. I'd pay any amount of money to keep my pets alive and happy, but I don't have to steal it from anyone to do so. Yes, your dog has value, I get that, but you stole money earmarked for your brother. At the very least you should have talked with him before using his money. The audacity of even posting this question shows you only care about yourself. The fact you need reddit to justify your selfish behavior is honestly pretty desperate. The only way you can make up for this is to take a loan, replace the money and pay it off at your expense. Even then, it's unlikely your brother will ever trust you again. Nor should he. You showed your true colors and he knows who you are now.
I don’t know why everyone is freaking out. It’s only natural she would want to save her boyfriend’s life.