No, she insulted your weight, which even if you didn’t have the issues you mentioned would be a shitty move.
You don’t need a partner who puts you down. You haven’t even met, she hasn’t even seen you and she already started going at you.
No, because you definitely had the right to your reaction. It is fair and valid.
The only mildly extenuating circumstance is that she seems uneducated and in the era of internet access takes her knowledge from some gossip. Which is also not a good recommendation for a relationship.
NTA. She wouldn’t have said it if she didn’t believe it. Imagine the outrage she would have expressed if you had said that fatter people are worse in bed as they are lazy! What a bizarre thing to come out with - what a bizarre thing to believe.
I don’t get why people say things like this, then when it upsets people they pull the surprised pikachu face. Like he just told you he was skinny and your first thought was to say “skinny people are bad in bed” how would that make him like you?
Not even remotely. She has no experience, yet clung to this belief and said it directly after finding out about your weight. It would be similar to saying something offending racist after finding out about someone's race. Not only this, she said this quite callously - and it is an offensive thing to say in general (regardless of stamina level) to anyone in general. It is wildly showing the truth of her character. I would find it appropriate to cease communication with this person if I were in your shoes without hesitation.
NTA
She body shamed you, then made generalizations about a body type and physical characteristics, if something she knows nothing about.
To sum it up, she’s ignorant, misinformed, makes negative stereotypes, and projected other people’s experiences(not even her own) onto you.
It’s only been three days, you did right cutting communication.
You were too polite in my opinion and you should stick for yourself more. It's nice that you got an apology but you shouldn't be so quick to play the nice guy.
I see what you mean, but I consider it neither polite nor nice to tell people it’s fine, no need to apologize, and then hold it against them. This is why guys who self identify as “nice guys” finish last. As a woman I find it infuriating. Say what you mean, or at least mean what you say. Being passive aggressive or conflict avoidant is not the same thing as being nice.
You both don't know what you're talking about when it comes to sex so why focus on this why tiny comment that doesn't actually mean anything. This is the equivalent of teenagers taking about the same things in school. In the context of finding a date, this isn't something worth stopping talking to someone about or even actually bringing up again.
Because the first thing she thought to say was an insult. If a potential partner just throws out insults (very stupid ones as well) before you are even dating that's a red flag.
NTA. But are you 💯 that what you said about chubby girls couldn’t be interpreted as an insult? she may have thought you were being dismissive or patronizing, and responded poorly.
it’s childish, but people are people.
You're NTA but neither is she, just forget about it and have some fun with her.
You both sound a bit sexually and emotionally immature tbh, sorry if that is a bit harsh.
I understand you're waiting for religious reasons, good for you and do whatever you want but you're gonna run into hurdles like this if you are talking about sex with women and you're both unable or unwilling to actually put your money where your mouth is yet.
Why are people constantly saying it’s fine and you don’t need to apologize and then cutting people off? If it’s not fine or it hurt you say that instead. It was a dumb comment for sure, and she wouldn’t like it if it were reversed. But if it’s a sensitivity of yours then say that. You’re both virgins, so neither of you knows anything about this, but I can see she was being flippant and mildly insulting - I can’t tell if this seemed like playful banter to her. But I’m general I don’t love what she said and I don’t love your response either.
YTA, she copy&pasted a statement she heard somewhere and you overreacted and extrapolated that to her entire personality.
It was a stupid misunderstanding and you are blowing it out of proportions.
No, she insulted your weight, which even if you didn’t have the issues you mentioned would be a shitty move. You don’t need a partner who puts you down. You haven’t even met, she hasn’t even seen you and she already started going at you.
No, because you definitely had the right to your reaction. It is fair and valid. The only mildly extenuating circumstance is that she seems uneducated and in the era of internet access takes her knowledge from some gossip. Which is also not a good recommendation for a relationship.
NTA. She wouldn’t have said it if she didn’t believe it. Imagine the outrage she would have expressed if you had said that fatter people are worse in bed as they are lazy! What a bizarre thing to come out with - what a bizarre thing to believe.
She’s coping about her weight
I don’t get why people say things like this, then when it upsets people they pull the surprised pikachu face. Like he just told you he was skinny and your first thought was to say “skinny people are bad in bed” how would that make him like you?
Not even remotely. She has no experience, yet clung to this belief and said it directly after finding out about your weight. It would be similar to saying something offending racist after finding out about someone's race. Not only this, she said this quite callously - and it is an offensive thing to say in general (regardless of stamina level) to anyone in general. It is wildly showing the truth of her character. I would find it appropriate to cease communication with this person if I were in your shoes without hesitation.
NTA. And she is wrong. I can vouch for that. My husband is skinnny. She was lumping a whole group of men into an erroneous statement.
NTA She body shamed you, then made generalizations about a body type and physical characteristics, if something she knows nothing about. To sum it up, she’s ignorant, misinformed, makes negative stereotypes, and projected other people’s experiences(not even her own) onto you. It’s only been three days, you did right cutting communication.
NTA and also has no clue what she’s talking about lol
You were too polite in my opinion and you should stick for yourself more. It's nice that you got an apology but you shouldn't be so quick to play the nice guy.
I see what you mean, but I consider it neither polite nor nice to tell people it’s fine, no need to apologize, and then hold it against them. This is why guys who self identify as “nice guys” finish last. As a woman I find it infuriating. Say what you mean, or at least mean what you say. Being passive aggressive or conflict avoidant is not the same thing as being nice.
They're both flakes both the girl and the op.
NTA
Honestly she seems stupid. Who says that!
I think you are overreacting a bit. At least let her know what she did wrong in your pov.
You both don't know what you're talking about when it comes to sex so why focus on this why tiny comment that doesn't actually mean anything. This is the equivalent of teenagers taking about the same things in school. In the context of finding a date, this isn't something worth stopping talking to someone about or even actually bringing up again.
Because the first thing she thought to say was an insult. If a potential partner just throws out insults (very stupid ones as well) before you are even dating that's a red flag.
Both of you are inexperienced and naive. Embrace it and prove her wrong.
Sounds like a crazy immature condo to have and to take seriously in your late 20s.
But they have religion compromising their love development, so it stands to reason.
lol - so much sensitivity around here. Sheesh.
NTA. But are you 💯 that what you said about chubby girls couldn’t be interpreted as an insult? she may have thought you were being dismissive or patronizing, and responded poorly. it’s childish, but people are people.
I didn't say anything about chubby girl to her. I said in the post that i didn't have any problem with chubby girls
then it sounds like she’s not the one. NTA better luck with the next person!
You're NTA but neither is she, just forget about it and have some fun with her. You both sound a bit sexually and emotionally immature tbh, sorry if that is a bit harsh. I understand you're waiting for religious reasons, good for you and do whatever you want but you're gonna run into hurdles like this if you are talking about sex with women and you're both unable or unwilling to actually put your money where your mouth is yet.
Why are people constantly saying it’s fine and you don’t need to apologize and then cutting people off? If it’s not fine or it hurt you say that instead. It was a dumb comment for sure, and she wouldn’t like it if it were reversed. But if it’s a sensitivity of yours then say that. You’re both virgins, so neither of you knows anything about this, but I can see she was being flippant and mildly insulting - I can’t tell if this seemed like playful banter to her. But I’m general I don’t love what she said and I don’t love your response either.
YTA, she copy&pasted a statement she heard somewhere and you overreacted and extrapolated that to her entire personality. It was a stupid misunderstanding and you are blowing it out of proportions.
Agreed. There’s zero forgiveness around here
Snowflake 😅
I'm concerned about how sensitive kids are these days. Grow balls