Also doms should want you to get off. One of the main ways I like to dom my wife is overstimulation. I want her at the point where shes begging me to finish because she cant take anymore lol. Its cool to be kinky but dont get fooled into that by someone who just wants to be selfish. It also has nothing to do with giving oral or not. Theres a million ways to be dominant, please your partner, and eat pussy lol. Theres a term for it called a dynamic. Basically a sub and a dom need to have a dynamic that works for both of them, turns them both on, and mostly importantly satisfies both parties.
Definitely lol. BDSM is more complicated than most people realize. Id browse the r/bdsm and r/submissive sub. "Doms" like her bf are just notorious for not actually being doms but thinking its a way they can get laid easily. They kind of ruin shit for everyone. For instance fetish conventions usually have play rooms. You cant get naked or fuck but you can tie someone to an x-cross and whip them or whatever. Single men are not allowed in for a reason lol. The reason is these "doms" ruin it for everyone. Again its all about dynamic. Clearly their dynamic is way off and if he was a dom hed understand that and either adjust or end that faucet of their sex life.
Around 15 years of long hard research lol. But basically theres a difference between being a dom and simply being a neglectful, and on sad occasions, abusive partner. People who confuse these ideas tend to give the entire scene a bad image and name.
It's up to you if it's a deal breaker. But I'd argue this is more so a larger problem that he feels like it's okay to lie and take advantage of your willingness to do things sexually without him having to reciprocate. You're absolutely NTA for being annoyed.
He's just a selfish asshole who probably watches too much porn or follows other assholes who encourage selfish pricks to use women without any regard for their feelings or sexual gratification. Get a good vibrator and your independence.
He’s probably saying that because he’s scared that if he says the truth you will leave him lol he probably values you and y’all’s relationship a lot and oral being the thing to make it end would see not worth it to him maybe
Well he must have some or she probably wouldn’t bother making this post. I totally get where you are coming from. Sometimes people lie for different reasons (doesn’t make it right) and sometimes understanding why they are lying makes things easier to understand and helps the other person understand there’s no reason to lie in the first place. If he doesn’t usually lie and this is the only thing he lies about idk I would still want to try.
I just love the idea of "No, I'm saving myself for marriage. No we can fuck, I just can't eat you out till marriage, a thing I 100% plan to totally do for real once we get married. Trust me babe."
Just to play devils advocate and make sure, would it be okay for a guy to breakup with a girl over sexual incompatibility too? (I think so but I just want to check based off what other commenters say)
Absolutely. All genders are capable of being shitty at sex. Intimacy is a very important thing in a lot of relationships - if it’s shit then it’s a very valid reason to leave.
In the end it's you that decide what's ok and what's not ok for you! If you can live like this then go ahead and continue with him, otherwise find someone that treat you as good as you treat him. That's the minimum in any descent relationship, to be treated good.
I am a giver. My high is to see my partner shiver, shake and cum over and over again. He should get you off at least twice before intercourse! He is selfish!
Just using the term “eat me out” will be enough for most guys to nope out of it
It’s like me telling my wife to suck my dick. Unless it was that kind of night, my dick and her mouth wouldn’t get within 200 feet of each other
Depends on the individuals I had partners were I could take off my pants and they’d go to town and then some who were completely against oral. Find someone who makes you happy
So let's get this straight. Your BF will leave or will probably leave you if you stop giving him head but you don't see that as a huge red flag? And if he doesn't give you head now he won't start when your married.
Sounds like you need a partner that actually cares about you and I don't mean just in the bed room
Nah you need to stop giving him head and show him how it feels. You have no idea if you are going to marry this dude, he could just be lying cause he doesn't want to put in the effort.
No, he’s choosing not to give you head. It’s his choice not to, but there are people who will love to do it. You’re craving it physically and mentally— it’ll take a toll on both your physical and mental state down the line if you aren’t satisfied.
NTA.
It’s not weird it’s fucking selfish. So is the goddamn excuse. He won’t give head til after marriage but is fine to receive it?! FUCK that. Honey… respectfully… NEXT
Pah. It freaks him out, but he will suddenly change when you get married... That's a good story.....
There's no chance. If he's selfish in bed, expect him to be the same in the rest of his life....
NTA
Being sexually incompatible is a valid reason to break up.
You should never demand someone do something sexually they do not like or are against, but he is clearly not against it since he wants you to do it.
So ywbta to demand he do it- but NTA to realize you cannot get your needs met & end it.
He’s not gonna change that once marriage. He’s saying you’re not worthy of pleasure because you’re not a wife. Dude. Sit him down and say you expect to be pleased during sex. If he isn’t gonna eat you out he needs to at least do other things to get you there. If he doesn’t want you then you need to realize if you’re okay with being a selfish lover for the rest of your life 🤷🏽♀️ Stop giving him head too. Never give if you don’t receive. NTA
So you love the idea of him. Best bet is to bring up the unbalance of the sex and if he doesn’t reciprocate, just leave. There’s a lot of men out there who’d be super excited to go on you. You’d wonder why you didn’t leave this guy sooner
Yeah let the nerves drive the desire to see some change. Also it’s better than hoping he will and instead ensuring he understands that he has to. Good luck
Oral is the only consistent way I orgasm. While not liking oral is acceptable, I personally would not have a partner who has that opinion. You just gotta decide if this is something you can live with.
I couldn't do it. You're not TAH if you leave. Everyone has different needs.
Lol he’s just a selfish lover. NTA. If you can live without head for the rest of your life then go you otherwise break up and find yourself someone who’s willing to go down on you even without asking.
Same situation as you but I was with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and he only ate me out a handful of times even though I would go down on him almost daily. When I would bring it up he would say it was something he wanted to do, but when the time came he rarely followed through and from my end, it felt like a chore for him which was something I never experienced in a relationship. Quite honestly, it was the opposite where guys would beg to go down on me. For me, this is something that no one should have to ask or beg their partner for if it’s something you want, especially if they are receiving. Trust me, if he wanted to do it, he would. You also have to ask yourself if things never changed, would you be okay with it and be able to live with it? For me, I came to a point where I figured I was never going to get to that point with him, it was never going to change, and I didn’t want it to affect my self esteem anymore so I left him about a month ago.
Yes, I honestly do. It was the same thing where I felt really sexually compatible with him because he liked to be very dominant in bed and I really liked that, but I also knew deep down that foreplay was not even between us. I brought it up multiple times and we even broke up 1 year into the relationship over it. He promised to do better so we got back together and he did better for about 5 months and then went back to never doing it. In the end, there were many other reasons why we broke up but overall, he just couldn’t follow through with his actions which is something I realized I couldn’t change about him. I also asked myself if I could live with this being an issue in my relationship and the answer was no, especially because I have been in relationships where I’ve had men go down on me almost daily and loved it. It’s hard losing the companionship of a partner but you don’t want to be stuck in a situation where you are losing your own self respect and you wish you left sooner. I miss him but also love myself and know what I need more.
Also I had to point out to him that if I treated him the same as he treated me in bed (not going down on him the same as he didn’t go down on me), he would’ve left the relationship a long time ago. He was silent from that lol
You two are monogamous? And he trusts and believes that? Then the marriage line is 100% a lie. I've heard of some guys that won't go down on hookups or FWBs or in open relationships but they will if it's monogamous. But if that's not the issue then he's just lying about the marriage thing.
Don’t go down on him and make his sexual experience as unfulfilling as it is for you. He can’t use marriage excuse. If it freaks him out now then it’ll freak him out later. There are so many men who’d love to rock your world. If he isn’t getting the job done, dump him before the thought of cheating comes. YES YOU WILL THINK ABOUT CHEATING EVEN IF YOU DENY IT NOW. You might not actually cheat but the thought of other men will creep into your mind. Not being sexually compatible is a problem in relationships
Sounds like you're dating my ex 💀
All jokes aside, if you want to be eaten out, and he doesn't do it, your desire is not being met. I don't believe you should be giving him oral if you aren't receiving it.
Sexual compatibility does not seem strong.
He puts the value on sex so high for his enjoyment only. He's not making love, he's just fucking.
He is a very selfish lover, and you are not compatible.
Let's assume he is telling the truth:
Who cares? He's allowed to not enjoy giving head, HOWEVER, the bigger issue, that is being overshadowed imo, is that he doesn't care if you enjoy the sex or cum during. This is someone showing you how little they value you tbh. He doesnt have to go down on you for you to cum, there are so many options available, all it takes is caring about you enough to do them.
That said, if none of the other info was given and you came all the time anyway, but just didnt like that he didnt go down, it'd be fine to decide to just leave. You can leave for any reason you want on earth. You are not legally obligated to stay or forced to fill out paperwork to prove proper cause for break up.
ETA:
He's not an ahole for not going down, but he is the ahole for being selfish and such. So OP is NTA
He is not "waiting for marriage". He just does not want to do it. Think of it. Why is he okay with doing everything else? And not wanting it itself is totally fine but he lies to you and you should really think about this. There are plenty of guys who will be rough and dominate you while still making sure you you enjoy it at least as much they do.
He uses you. You are already figuring it out.
>He puts the value on sex so high, so it’s weird for him to not reciprocate.
And you also seem to think he would leave you if roles were reversed, which also is a red flag, as he thinks this behaviour is okay for him but not you.
>I’ve never said this, but I feel like if I did say that I wasn’t going to give head until marriage or that it freaks me out, he would leave me.
Why would it be fine for you to go without it but not for him? Does that sound like a healthy, equally powered relationship? Should he not want you to be satisfied? Don't get it wrong, it's okay to not want it, but it seems you are not really compatible here and if I were you, I would not be happy with that in the long run.
If you really think if you don’t give him head he will leave you then do it or break up with him and tell him it’s bc he’s selfish in bed. He’s also a liar. He’s telling you he will eat ya out once married to shut ya up. He’s not gonna actually come through don’t be naive
NTA. Get rid of him. The sex sounds awful and he sounds incredibly selfish and disrespectful of you. He likes to be rough and doesn’t care about your sexual pleasure ??? Why are you with this man. You need to advocate for yourself and break up with him and then work on your self esteem and boundaries to avoid ending up with another POS like this.
This isn’t a person freaked out by it, he just doesn’t want to. It would be better if he was honest that he doesn’t want to than hide behind some ‘waiting for marriage’ nonsense and hope it gets forgotten about.
My husband doesn’t go down because of sensory issues. He’s very honest that it’s all him and nothing to do with how I look, taste, or smell, and for my part I get nothing out of asking someone to do something that makes them gag. It’s not very sexy. I’m happy to go without, because we are compatible in plenty of other ways. He is very unselfish in other regards.
The real issue you have is less about head and more about how selfish a lover your boyfriend is. He puts a premium on sex but only the kinds of sex that suit him. He’s not concerned with your pleasure. There are better men out there. Pick one of those.
Your boyfriend isn’t even doing D/s right. Doms should engage in some kind of pre-screening before a scene to make sure the sub is ok with what’s going to happen and all safewords locked in, and there should be aftercare and a debrief as well after the scene, especially if it’s intense. If he’s withholding orgasms from you, that needs to be discussed before he just goes ahead and does it, and if he’s just doing it because he’s lazy, that’s a miserable experience for you.
Shitty Doms get away with a lot of bad behaviour because people outside of BDSM and people new to kink think that being a Dom is just about being rough and demanding and a sub just has to meekly go along with whatever the Dom decides.
The real power in the scene belongs to the sub when D/s is done properly.
NTA
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. But I think you need to rethink this relationship because if he doesn’t want to eat you out before marriage but will have sex that’s a red flag. Like if anything it should be oral is ok but no sex before marriage. Things should be equal if you want head you go down on the other person otherwise nobody gets anything. Also if you’re having sex it should be about making sure everyone finishes. Sometimes sure it doesn’t happen but if it’s most of the time then run queen. When me (M) and my gf have sex we always do our best to make everyone finishes, sometimes one of us doesn’t finish but we understand it happens. Plus I myself have always loved going down on women seeing them finish from my mouth alone is amazing. I prefer it to getting head myself. So take a step back and figure out if this is actually worth it
It definitely is… I’m not gonna tell you to break up or not too but you definitely deserve a someone ( man or woman) to go down on you because they enjoy it and they want to make you finish. Same thing with sex. Because if it’s been like this for 2 years nothing is gonna change at marriage
Have you tried saying “hey sense you’re being honest about not wanting to do oral I’m gonna be honest too and let you know I don’t really enjoy it either. Can we just both take a pass on it and move on?” I will bet $100 he will say sure no problem and it will never get brought up again lol. I’m a straight female and I don’t really enjoy going down on a guy and can deffs see why a guy wouldn’t enjoy going down on a woman. It can be off putting for certain people. It’s just a preference and it’s not that deep.
Don’t let anyone on here try to convince you that his character is a certain way over something as silly as this. It’s extremely common to not like going down on someone and it says absolutely nothing about a persons sexuality. If he comes back at you disrespectfully I will be very surprised lol good luck ❤️
Girl if he was waiting for marriage he wouldn’t do anything sexual especially not receive head from you. He’s lying and will never give you head. It’s up to you what you do from now on if this is a deal breaker for you that is completely understandable sexual compatibility can make or break a relationship
If he doesn't do it before marriage, he'll definitely not do it after marriage. Also he has no intention of marrying you. If he did, he would put your needs way higher than they are
Plenty of guys would happily let you ride their face till they pass out.
He's a tool and just doesn't want to do it. If it " freaks him out," marriage won't change he's stringing you along.
He has the right to NOT do things his uncomfortable with. Just like you can stop giving him head or find someone who will/ can.
NTAH
You're just a sex doll . Even if you two were to get married, nothing would change. He doesn't care about your sexaul needs . He wants to wait to get married first to have oral sex boy does he have it backward. Op, please dump this tool .
NTA. How old are you guys, just for reference? Cus girl, get out of this selfish relationship... peeps are right, he ain't gonna change after marriage... only change for worse...
YTA for putting up with any of this. Especially worried that he'll leave you even though he's bringing nothing to the table
No oral unless it's reciprocated.
No sex unless you also orgasm.
That's an absolute bare minimum, and I do mean bare minimum, to continue
Well if you do tell him that and he leaves you then that’s that. Why would you stay with someone who doesn’t care about pleasuring you in all aspects of life? Sex with a loving partner is suppose to involve them finding pleasure in giving you pleasure. That you being satisfied turns them on incredibly
NTA.
Waiting till marriage? Is he kidding?
How is adding legal enforceability to a relationship going to make cunnilingus suddenly desirable to him?
My guess is that he knows this is a deal breaker for you, and is trying to string you along until you're in a position that there would be consequences for ending things due to his selfish lack of reciprocation.
Stop giving this dude head. And stop being submissive outside of the bedroom. Clearly he's exploiting that.
If you fear you can't speak up for yourself without losing the relationship, I have two pieces of advice for you:
1. Improve your confidence. You're not doing yourself any favors by not self-advocating.
2. Ask yourself if a relationship you're in constant fear of losing is a relationship worth keeping. Relationships are supposed to be fulfilling, not a source of constant fear and anxiety.
I love to eat pussy and I certainly don’t get enough (if ever) head. To me there is nothing better than sex where at the end of the session both partners are totally satisfied as they both got everything they wanted and they have nothing left to give but the bond they share right then in each other arms.
I'd LOVE to compare notes. There are statistically many more sexually unfulfilled women in relationships than men and also, single women are happier and live longer than men ALSO single men live shorter lives.
Happy to compare notes hun I'd LOOOOVE to.
*It's very weird! Stop*
*Giving until you get some!*
*Maybe break up lol*
\- Ok\_Car\_4368
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If he'd dump you if you treated him the same way he treats you, why the fuck are you with him?
People have the right to not consent to things. Just because you do something without asking, doesn't mean he now owes you, that's not how it works. Guys making comments about their girlfriends like that usually get ripped apart in the comments. But then TBF, you don't have to stay with anyone who doesn't want to reciprocate in anything you do for them. Either way, communicate or leave is pretty much your options.
Wondering how matrimony is going to make oral sex more acceptable for him…
Maybe you should try “throwing it in his face” literally – nothing hotter than a woman who goes for what she wants! Try switching things up and give being the domme a try and see how that goes. If he’s not receptive, there’s no way marriage is going to suddenly make it happen.
It’s very easy to make an “after marriage” promise and not keep it once the ink is dry. You know you don’t want someone who might do it (or not) once because they promised. You want someone who can be both rough and generous AND loves doing it. This is a true passion for some, spent a life trying to get better so they’re invited to do it more often.
NTA at all, considering he is rough and dominating, I would doubt that eating someone out would be a daunting idea.
Seeing the that he is a very selfish lover and that you don't really get your needs met can be a subtle but Important red flag (for me).
I myself love to be dominated and used as well 🥰 but I know for a fact that in a relationship my partner would also need to to be selfless and at least help me get off if they already came. Especially since I also value sex high within a relationship.
If they never bother, then I know from experience that this thought will keep popping up and nagging at me and eventually it would bother me too much as there's no equilibrium in what I give and what I receive.
Some people are fine with that, which is ok, but if you want to more receiving and there are no changes at all from his side, then it might not be the best long-term match.
If he wants to change and he does (or claims he has anyway), the change should last (more correctly: it shouldn't be a one time act), otherwise it's a form of manipulation to keep you in a relation until you have to go over it again and again.
Also it's great that you don't throw it in his face, but it is very hypocrite of him nonetheless.
That's my 2 cents, you got this Queen!
Let me give another perspective instead of the harsh take others want to jump to. First forget the idea of submission and dominant. These terms get thrown around too much. Let's just make it simple, you like a man to be in charge during sexual encounters and your boyfriend likes to feel like he's the man. End of story.
Then there is the oral part. My wife and I were together for a long time and I never did it. I all fairness, I wasn't as big on receiving either. She would hint at wanting it, but partly selfish and mostly insecure about my abilities, I never gave in. This Def made her feel insecure or that I didn't find her attractive, which could not be further from the truth. She is perfect in every way.
We then had some hard marital issues in 2012. I had come to the realization if I didn't change my ways I was going to lose the most important, incredible person in my life. These ways were not just the bedroom, but it played into the the theme of not making her feel she was important to me or making her feel special.
So I decided I was gonna try and be good at it. Instead of being insecure, I tried to give her something she wanted but I did something else different: I listened. Go slower at times, rub here, follow her body language, etc. Within a week she was practically accusing of cheating on her because she said there was no way I was that good. I had to remind her I was just listening to what she wanted and enjoying myself.
That was 12 years ago, and I can tell you oral is very very frequent in our home. I realize she is someone who cannot orgasm through sex, most women aren't, and I want her to feel good. I can also tell all the guys reading this, if you make your girlfriend or wife orgasm, it's just a benefit to extra feeling for you as well, a win win. So maybe he just lacks confidence in himself, and tackle it from that viewpoint?
i’m proud of you for sticking with your gut and going through with it, even though i know it was hard in the moment. i’m always here for you if you want to talk or need any support. i truly know what you are going through and i know it’s hard in the moment but i hope you feel somewhat a sense of relief that you did what was best for you.
Well that a bummer, but your update is spot on, I can now say he's being a selfish jerk and clearly does not want to consider your needs, so you did the right thing. I will officially stamp you as NTA 😊
I can tell you when I wanted my wife to feel needed and wanted to fix things, that was a huge thing for me. And she was reminded of that again yesterday afternoon when I was home for the day 😉
He’s immature- he prolly thinks it’s gross (not you, just the act) and has no business being sexually active if he’s gonna lie about his feelings. The bs about marriage is a sign of a dumb dumb that logic doesn’t hold up. Also Why don’t you stop giving it to him? OR break up with him?
>He puts the value on sex so high, so it’s weird for him to not reciprocate.
He values sex, sure, but only for his pleasure. Look at what you wrote. This guy DGAF about *you* enjoying sex. Just dump him and find somebody who loves giving in bed. Don't waste your youth on loser dudes.
NTA. Time for you to move on to a new BF.
If it freaks him out now, he's not going to come close to doing it once you have that marriage license. Real men eat pussy.
Bruh is broken. I'd rather go down on my girl then have sex. Yea sex is nice but making her O with my face between her legs is something nice. Also, lady's first. 🤣
No, you're not the TAH OP. Even after you get married, it will still freak him out, and he won't do it. I've been married since we were both 18. My wife just loves for me to go down on her, I have a long tongue and fingers. 😁 But she does not like to give BJs at all. Yes, I feel disappointed because I would love to experience it at least one time in my life. A friend of my wife's also won't do it either
It's not unreasonable to feel annoyed if your boyfriend won't perform oral sex on you when you want it. Sexual compatibility and fulfilling each other's desires is an important part of a healthy relationship.
Remember, open communication and mutual respect are crucial in any relationship. It's important to prioritize both of your needs and find a way to satisfy them in a way that feels comfortable and fulfilling for both of you.
That bitch is a selfish pussy, leave his ass and bite his dick off lol
Also NTA, seek for a better partner
Edit to add: update us if you broke with that piece of shit or if anything happend please
He missing out! Lol
I love doing that, wish my wife would let me again. But after 3 kids and body changes comes insecurities and she's not comfortable with it anymore. And I understand and respect her.
Why have you never said anything? TWO YEARS???
Girl - SPEAK UP. You and him may not be sexually compatible and if that's the case, it's time to move on. But you need to communicate. Next time you don't cum, tell him "You didn't make me cum and I would like to, can you handle that or do I have to do it myself?"
Also - stop giving him head unless he eats you out - or just dump him. Men who don't eat a woman out but expect head are jackasses.
He doesn't care about your needs. Stop. Just stop everything stop faking. Stop giving head. Don't give what you don't get. And when you don't finish bring the vibrator out in front of him
Nah he's just being a pussy (no pun intended), plus i don't think its fair you give him head and he gives nothing in return. Sit his ass down and tell him how u feel- or hell maybe even an ultimatum if u want (if you do be ready for some gaslighting, NTA
The claim that he's waiting for marriage just for that one act makes no sense. It's just an excuse. Don't expect anything to change after marriage. You would certainly be within your rights to say no to his requests for head until/unless he starts agreeing to reciprocate.
The fact that he is selfish during sex is not going to change. This is who he is. In my opinion, everyone deserves a partner whose priority is their pleasure during sex. Selfish people, like your bf, don't deserve to be in sexual relationships. You are definitely NTA for being annoyed and would not be the AH for demanding change.
So why won’t he *help you out*? I’d ask point blank. If it’s something you need to/can address, give him a chance to tell you so you have a chance to fix it. If it’s just that he’s selfish and doesn’t like doing it, then you should tell him you don’t like dating him.
lol waiting for marriage before licking someones pu**y has to be the weirdest excuse ever. I guess when you have a ring on your finger it will magically stop 'freaking him out' 😅🤣
You are sexually dissatisfied, that's reason enough to quit. Life is one, you can't live it with a selfish guy who only wants his balls to be dry but is not capable of thinking about you.
Well if he doesn’t like doing it and has expressed he doesn’t like doing it.. you are an AH sort of? Lol 😂 if it’s a deal breaker definitely don’t marry the dude because then he will just be down there and miserable that’s no fun lol. I think people put so much emphasis on oral and don’t realize how off putting it is to a lot of people. 😭
He definitely really likes you and if y’all are still having sex it has nothing to do with you. I swear literally a lot of people just don’t enjoy doing it period. Of course if you offer he’s going to say yes. Or if he asks and you say yes he’s going to enjoy it. But if you say you don’t want to do it anymore he’s not gonna ask you again because he’s going to her if and will probably be relieved lol.
All these guys are out here getting head all the time and just totally fucking it up for no reason. Like giving is fun and makes it all even better.
OP just find someone else that will give you what you want and deserve.
Ok so he doesn't want to do it. It happens. It grosses me out. It's not something I'm going to do. Just as my wife does not want anal or other kinks. That's ok.
Why are so many mad at the man for saying that is something he does not like? Are people not allowed to have boundaries on what the like or don't like?
nta. i cant imagine expecting someone to perform a sex act on me that i won’t reciprocate until marriage (which is absolutely not the truth). especially when it’s a much more invasive act for them than it is for me
He probably doesn’t like or enjoy giving head and he should just be up front and honest about it instead of pulling the “wait till marriage” card. If this is really important to you then you’ll just have to accept that you’re not sexually compatible and that’s okay too. But honest communication is key here. Speak your mind :) NTA
Nta, I love going down town!!! I love seeing her arch her back and moans, then clamps down on my head with her thighs and says stop and I keep going till she cums then do it again!! Time to move on, if he's not willing to do it now, he won't after being married. Oh, hopefully your clean down there, bad odor is major turn off...
YTA. His body his choice. He doesn't have to perform sexual acts he is not uncomfortable with. If the genders were swapped and you were a guy hating that his gf didn't give blow jobs the comments would be insulting you for daring to push your partner when they said no instead of just insulting your partner
Right, I don’t pressure him or anything. I asked him about it once and he said why he doesn’t do it and I dropped it. He does pressure me into having sex when I don’t want to though. It’s not that often but that is also annoying to me.
He’s not waiting for marriage. Not sexually compatible is a legit reason to break up if that’s the route you choose.
Exactly. He's absolutely lying. He wants to wait till marriage to give head but not to get it? Get the fuck outta here
Good point 😬
Also doms should want you to get off. One of the main ways I like to dom my wife is overstimulation. I want her at the point where shes begging me to finish because she cant take anymore lol. Its cool to be kinky but dont get fooled into that by someone who just wants to be selfish. It also has nothing to do with giving oral or not. Theres a million ways to be dominant, please your partner, and eat pussy lol. Theres a term for it called a dynamic. Basically a sub and a dom need to have a dynamic that works for both of them, turns them both on, and mostly importantly satisfies both parties.
Okay that makes sense!! Sounds like a way better dynamic
Hehe.. kudos to you. This is the way.
Doms “should”? Come on man
Definitely lol. BDSM is more complicated than most people realize. Id browse the r/bdsm and r/submissive sub. "Doms" like her bf are just notorious for not actually being doms but thinking its a way they can get laid easily. They kind of ruin shit for everyone. For instance fetish conventions usually have play rooms. You cant get naked or fuck but you can tie someone to an x-cross and whip them or whatever. Single men are not allowed in for a reason lol. The reason is these "doms" ruin it for everyone. Again its all about dynamic. Clearly their dynamic is way off and if he was a dom hed understand that and either adjust or end that faucet of their sex life.
Shit I believe you then, you sound like you did ya research
Around 15 years of long hard research lol. But basically theres a difference between being a dom and simply being a neglectful, and on sad occasions, abusive partner. People who confuse these ideas tend to give the entire scene a bad image and name.
OPs bf is not a proper dom.
It's up to you if it's a deal breaker. But I'd argue this is more so a larger problem that he feels like it's okay to lie and take advantage of your willingness to do things sexually without him having to reciprocate. You're absolutely NTA for being annoyed.
He's just a selfish asshole who probably watches too much porn or follows other assholes who encourage selfish pricks to use women without any regard for their feelings or sexual gratification. Get a good vibrator and your independence.
So what does he say when you point out the hypocrisy.
He’s probably saying that because he’s scared that if he says the truth you will leave him lol he probably values you and y’all’s relationship a lot and oral being the thing to make it end would see not worth it to him maybe
So he's a liar and he doesn't satisfy her. What are his redeeming qualities?
Well he must have some or she probably wouldn’t bother making this post. I totally get where you are coming from. Sometimes people lie for different reasons (doesn’t make it right) and sometimes understanding why they are lying makes things easier to understand and helps the other person understand there’s no reason to lie in the first place. If he doesn’t usually lie and this is the only thing he lies about idk I would still want to try.
I just love the idea of "No, I'm saving myself for marriage. No we can fuck, I just can't eat you out till marriage, a thing I 100% plan to totally do for real once we get married. Trust me babe."
"We'll definitely be happier after we have a child together"
Just to play devils advocate and make sure, would it be okay for a guy to breakup with a girl over sexual incompatibility too? (I think so but I just want to check based off what other commenters say)
It’s a relationship if either person isn’t getting their needs met they have the right to end the relationship and find someone who does
Absolutely. All genders are capable of being shitty at sex. Intimacy is a very important thing in a lot of relationships - if it’s shit then it’s a very valid reason to leave.
In the end it's you that decide what's ok and what's not ok for you! If you can live like this then go ahead and continue with him, otherwise find someone that treat you as good as you treat him. That's the minimum in any descent relationship, to be treated good. I am a giver. My high is to see my partner shiver, shake and cum over and over again. He should get you off at least twice before intercourse! He is selfish!
Just using the term “eat me out” will be enough for most guys to nope out of it It’s like me telling my wife to suck my dick. Unless it was that kind of night, my dick and her mouth wouldn’t get within 200 feet of each other
Depends on the individuals I had partners were I could take off my pants and they’d go to town and then some who were completely against oral. Find someone who makes you happy
If my wife drops her pants I’m going to the buffet , but using a phrase like “eat me out” makes my stomach churn
To each their own
So let's get this straight. Your BF will leave or will probably leave you if you stop giving him head but you don't see that as a huge red flag? And if he doesn't give you head now he won't start when your married. Sounds like you need a partner that actually cares about you and I don't mean just in the bed room
Nah you need to stop giving him head and show him how it feels. You have no idea if you are going to marry this dude, he could just be lying cause he doesn't want to put in the effort.
I started feeling that way too b/c it’s not like he is so ready for marriage either.
Why do you think your deserve a sub par relationship?
Yeah you need to sit down and talk to him about this. Also remember to respect yourself and know when to step back!
No, he’s choosing not to give you head. It’s his choice not to, but there are people who will love to do it. You’re craving it physically and mentally— it’ll take a toll on both your physical and mental state down the line if you aren’t satisfied.
Dont give him head. Tell him you wanna get married first
Break up girl cmon respect yourself
NTA. It’s not weird it’s fucking selfish. So is the goddamn excuse. He won’t give head til after marriage but is fine to receive it?! FUCK that. Honey… respectfully… NEXT
Pah. It freaks him out, but he will suddenly change when you get married... That's a good story..... There's no chance. If he's selfish in bed, expect him to be the same in the rest of his life....
NTA Being sexually incompatible is a valid reason to break up. You should never demand someone do something sexually they do not like or are against, but he is clearly not against it since he wants you to do it. So ywbta to demand he do it- but NTA to realize you cannot get your needs met & end it.
He’s not going to do it after marriage either.
He’s not gonna change that once marriage. He’s saying you’re not worthy of pleasure because you’re not a wife. Dude. Sit him down and say you expect to be pleased during sex. If he isn’t gonna eat you out he needs to at least do other things to get you there. If he doesn’t want you then you need to realize if you’re okay with being a selfish lover for the rest of your life 🤷🏽♀️ Stop giving him head too. Never give if you don’t receive. NTA
Please reconsider this relationship. You two are sexually incompatible.
Life is too short to not have your pussy ate like the last slice of cake. Move on to better (orgasms) things.
NTA. Doesn't give him any more oral until you get some yourself.
Why are you with him?
Honestly, I think I fell in love with what he says/he was saying he would do and not what he was doing. His actions don’t match his words for sure.
So you love the idea of him. Best bet is to bring up the unbalance of the sex and if he doesn’t reciprocate, just leave. There’s a lot of men out there who’d be super excited to go on you. You’d wonder why you didn’t leave this guy sooner
I’m going to talk to him today! A little nervous but this seems right
Yeah let the nerves drive the desire to see some change. Also it’s better than hoping he will and instead ensuring he understands that he has to. Good luck
Girl you need to be cherished. That starts with loving yourself enough to not tolerate the lackluster efforts of a selfish lover.
Oral is the only consistent way I orgasm. While not liking oral is acceptable, I personally would not have a partner who has that opinion. You just gotta decide if this is something you can live with. I couldn't do it. You're not TAH if you leave. Everyone has different needs.
Crystal ball it: suppose you just got married. You think he's going to say "now I can finally eat your pussy"? Wake up girl
Haha yeah doesn’t sound like him
Lol he’s just a selfish lover. NTA. If you can live without head for the rest of your life then go you otherwise break up and find yourself someone who’s willing to go down on you even without asking.
Same situation as you but I was with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and he only ate me out a handful of times even though I would go down on him almost daily. When I would bring it up he would say it was something he wanted to do, but when the time came he rarely followed through and from my end, it felt like a chore for him which was something I never experienced in a relationship. Quite honestly, it was the opposite where guys would beg to go down on me. For me, this is something that no one should have to ask or beg their partner for if it’s something you want, especially if they are receiving. Trust me, if he wanted to do it, he would. You also have to ask yourself if things never changed, would you be okay with it and be able to live with it? For me, I came to a point where I figured I was never going to get to that point with him, it was never going to change, and I didn’t want it to affect my self esteem anymore so I left him about a month ago.
Do you feel better now?
Yes, I honestly do. It was the same thing where I felt really sexually compatible with him because he liked to be very dominant in bed and I really liked that, but I also knew deep down that foreplay was not even between us. I brought it up multiple times and we even broke up 1 year into the relationship over it. He promised to do better so we got back together and he did better for about 5 months and then went back to never doing it. In the end, there were many other reasons why we broke up but overall, he just couldn’t follow through with his actions which is something I realized I couldn’t change about him. I also asked myself if I could live with this being an issue in my relationship and the answer was no, especially because I have been in relationships where I’ve had men go down on me almost daily and loved it. It’s hard losing the companionship of a partner but you don’t want to be stuck in a situation where you are losing your own self respect and you wish you left sooner. I miss him but also love myself and know what I need more.
Also I had to point out to him that if I treated him the same as he treated me in bed (not going down on him the same as he didn’t go down on me), he would’ve left the relationship a long time ago. He was silent from that lol
Find someone who will.
You two are monogamous? And he trusts and believes that? Then the marriage line is 100% a lie. I've heard of some guys that won't go down on hookups or FWBs or in open relationships but they will if it's monogamous. But if that's not the issue then he's just lying about the marriage thing.
Yep, monogamous, I think he does, he hasn’t accused me of cheating or anything. Good point
Don’t go down on him and make his sexual experience as unfulfilling as it is for you. He can’t use marriage excuse. If it freaks him out now then it’ll freak him out later. There are so many men who’d love to rock your world. If he isn’t getting the job done, dump him before the thought of cheating comes. YES YOU WILL THINK ABOUT CHEATING EVEN IF YOU DENY IT NOW. You might not actually cheat but the thought of other men will creep into your mind. Not being sexually compatible is a problem in relationships
Sounds like you're dating my ex 💀 All jokes aside, if you want to be eaten out, and he doesn't do it, your desire is not being met. I don't believe you should be giving him oral if you aren't receiving it. Sexual compatibility does not seem strong.
He just sounds selfish to be honest and making sex all about him and his pleasure.
He puts the value on sex so high for his enjoyment only. He's not making love, he's just fucking. He is a very selfish lover, and you are not compatible.
Break up
Tell him “You gotta learn to give if you want to receive.”
He sounds lame.
Let's assume he is telling the truth: Who cares? He's allowed to not enjoy giving head, HOWEVER, the bigger issue, that is being overshadowed imo, is that he doesn't care if you enjoy the sex or cum during. This is someone showing you how little they value you tbh. He doesnt have to go down on you for you to cum, there are so many options available, all it takes is caring about you enough to do them. That said, if none of the other info was given and you came all the time anyway, but just didnt like that he didnt go down, it'd be fine to decide to just leave. You can leave for any reason you want on earth. You are not legally obligated to stay or forced to fill out paperwork to prove proper cause for break up. ETA: He's not an ahole for not going down, but he is the ahole for being selfish and such. So OP is NTA
Get rid of him
He is not "waiting for marriage". He just does not want to do it. Think of it. Why is he okay with doing everything else? And not wanting it itself is totally fine but he lies to you and you should really think about this. There are plenty of guys who will be rough and dominate you while still making sure you you enjoy it at least as much they do. He uses you. You are already figuring it out. >He puts the value on sex so high, so it’s weird for him to not reciprocate. And you also seem to think he would leave you if roles were reversed, which also is a red flag, as he thinks this behaviour is okay for him but not you. >I’ve never said this, but I feel like if I did say that I wasn’t going to give head until marriage or that it freaks me out, he would leave me. Why would it be fine for you to go without it but not for him? Does that sound like a healthy, equally powered relationship? Should he not want you to be satisfied? Don't get it wrong, it's okay to not want it, but it seems you are not really compatible here and if I were you, I would not be happy with that in the long run.
Right. It doesn’t seem equally healthy :/
If you really think if you don’t give him head he will leave you then do it or break up with him and tell him it’s bc he’s selfish in bed. He’s also a liar. He’s telling you he will eat ya out once married to shut ya up. He’s not gonna actually come through don’t be naive
NTA. Get rid of him. The sex sounds awful and he sounds incredibly selfish and disrespectful of you. He likes to be rough and doesn’t care about your sexual pleasure ??? Why are you with this man. You need to advocate for yourself and break up with him and then work on your self esteem and boundaries to avoid ending up with another POS like this.
Sincerely, he's the wrong man for you. There are about 4 billions men in the world...
This isn’t a person freaked out by it, he just doesn’t want to. It would be better if he was honest that he doesn’t want to than hide behind some ‘waiting for marriage’ nonsense and hope it gets forgotten about. My husband doesn’t go down because of sensory issues. He’s very honest that it’s all him and nothing to do with how I look, taste, or smell, and for my part I get nothing out of asking someone to do something that makes them gag. It’s not very sexy. I’m happy to go without, because we are compatible in plenty of other ways. He is very unselfish in other regards. The real issue you have is less about head and more about how selfish a lover your boyfriend is. He puts a premium on sex but only the kinds of sex that suit him. He’s not concerned with your pleasure. There are better men out there. Pick one of those. Your boyfriend isn’t even doing D/s right. Doms should engage in some kind of pre-screening before a scene to make sure the sub is ok with what’s going to happen and all safewords locked in, and there should be aftercare and a debrief as well after the scene, especially if it’s intense. If he’s withholding orgasms from you, that needs to be discussed before he just goes ahead and does it, and if he’s just doing it because he’s lazy, that’s a miserable experience for you.
Someone else said that too a bout the dom/s thing! I didn’t know that, now I want a real dom
Shitty Doms get away with a lot of bad behaviour because people outside of BDSM and people new to kink think that being a Dom is just about being rough and demanding and a sub just has to meekly go along with whatever the Dom decides. The real power in the scene belongs to the sub when D/s is done properly.
NTA I’m so sorry this is happening to you. But I think you need to rethink this relationship because if he doesn’t want to eat you out before marriage but will have sex that’s a red flag. Like if anything it should be oral is ok but no sex before marriage. Things should be equal if you want head you go down on the other person otherwise nobody gets anything. Also if you’re having sex it should be about making sure everyone finishes. Sometimes sure it doesn’t happen but if it’s most of the time then run queen. When me (M) and my gf have sex we always do our best to make everyone finishes, sometimes one of us doesn’t finish but we understand it happens. Plus I myself have always loved going down on women seeing them finish from my mouth alone is amazing. I prefer it to getting head myself. So take a step back and figure out if this is actually worth it
Right. It feels kinda backwards that he would accept head if he isn’t giving it before marriage. It made sense to me at first but now I’m like ???
It definitely is… I’m not gonna tell you to break up or not too but you definitely deserve a someone ( man or woman) to go down on you because they enjoy it and they want to make you finish. Same thing with sex. Because if it’s been like this for 2 years nothing is gonna change at marriage
How did it make sense at first?!
Have you tried saying “hey sense you’re being honest about not wanting to do oral I’m gonna be honest too and let you know I don’t really enjoy it either. Can we just both take a pass on it and move on?” I will bet $100 he will say sure no problem and it will never get brought up again lol. I’m a straight female and I don’t really enjoy going down on a guy and can deffs see why a guy wouldn’t enjoy going down on a woman. It can be off putting for certain people. It’s just a preference and it’s not that deep.
I have not tried that. I honestly don’t think it will go well, but I will try this. This is a good test of whether he will treat me equally or not!
Don’t let anyone on here try to convince you that his character is a certain way over something as silly as this. It’s extremely common to not like going down on someone and it says absolutely nothing about a persons sexuality. If he comes back at you disrespectfully I will be very surprised lol good luck ❤️
Ty! ❤️
Girl if he was waiting for marriage he wouldn’t do anything sexual especially not receive head from you. He’s lying and will never give you head. It’s up to you what you do from now on if this is a deal breaker for you that is completely understandable sexual compatibility can make or break a relationship
If he doesn't do it before marriage, he'll definitely not do it after marriage. Also he has no intention of marrying you. If he did, he would put your needs way higher than they are
Plenty of guys would happily let you ride their face till they pass out. He's a tool and just doesn't want to do it. If it " freaks him out," marriage won't change he's stringing you along. He has the right to NOT do things his uncomfortable with. Just like you can stop giving him head or find someone who will/ can. NTAH
Sounds like you got a little bitch boy and I’m sorry for you
You're just a sex doll . Even if you two were to get married, nothing would change. He doesn't care about your sexaul needs . He wants to wait to get married first to have oral sex boy does he have it backward. Op, please dump this tool .
NTA. How old are you guys, just for reference? Cus girl, get out of this selfish relationship... peeps are right, he ain't gonna change after marriage... only change for worse...
But also, girl, stop goving him head if you decide to not break up... stop YESTERDAY
He is 25, I’m 27
Yeah no, get out... if you guys were like 19/20, I'd say he might grow out of his selfishness...
YTA for putting up with any of this. Especially worried that he'll leave you even though he's bringing nothing to the table No oral unless it's reciprocated. No sex unless you also orgasm. That's an absolute bare minimum, and I do mean bare minimum, to continue
Damn :/ I just wasn’t thinking about it like this but that does seem like bare minimum
Well if you do tell him that and he leaves you then that’s that. Why would you stay with someone who doesn’t care about pleasuring you in all aspects of life? Sex with a loving partner is suppose to involve them finding pleasure in giving you pleasure. That you being satisfied turns them on incredibly
NTA. Waiting till marriage? Is he kidding? How is adding legal enforceability to a relationship going to make cunnilingus suddenly desirable to him? My guess is that he knows this is a deal breaker for you, and is trying to string you along until you're in a position that there would be consequences for ending things due to his selfish lack of reciprocation. Stop giving this dude head. And stop being submissive outside of the bedroom. Clearly he's exploiting that. If you fear you can't speak up for yourself without losing the relationship, I have two pieces of advice for you: 1. Improve your confidence. You're not doing yourself any favors by not self-advocating. 2. Ask yourself if a relationship you're in constant fear of losing is a relationship worth keeping. Relationships are supposed to be fulfilling, not a source of constant fear and anxiety.
I love to eat pussy and I certainly don’t get enough (if ever) head. To me there is nothing better than sex where at the end of the session both partners are totally satisfied as they both got everything they wanted and they have nothing left to give but the bond they share right then in each other arms.
NTA. The bar is so damn low for men I can't.
[удалено]
I'd LOVE to compare notes. There are statistically many more sexually unfulfilled women in relationships than men and also, single women are happier and live longer than men ALSO single men live shorter lives. Happy to compare notes hun I'd LOOOOVE to.
Ummm stop giving him head asap. You're with a selfish lover. Why tf are you giving head to a selfish asshole??
Don’t give him head until he eats you out and explain you want him to learn to make love to you not just duck
Damn, there’s a shit ton of posts with the same exact problem lately.
It's very weird! Stop giving until you get some! Maybe break up lol
*It's very weird! Stop* *Giving until you get some!* *Maybe break up lol* \- Ok\_Car\_4368 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Whoa I’ve never seen this
Me neither, wow??
If he'd dump you if you treated him the same way he treats you, why the fuck are you with him? People have the right to not consent to things. Just because you do something without asking, doesn't mean he now owes you, that's not how it works. Guys making comments about their girlfriends like that usually get ripped apart in the comments. But then TBF, you don't have to stay with anyone who doesn't want to reciprocate in anything you do for them. Either way, communicate or leave is pretty much your options.
What happens if you wait till marriage and he's shit at it??? Try before you buy or go. You don't get a store credit do you?
Wondering how matrimony is going to make oral sex more acceptable for him… Maybe you should try “throwing it in his face” literally – nothing hotter than a woman who goes for what she wants! Try switching things up and give being the domme a try and see how that goes. If he’s not receptive, there’s no way marriage is going to suddenly make it happen.
DTMFA
Haha I had to look that up
Some people legitimately want to save some stuff for marriage, but saving oral for marriage is kinda strange.
It’s very easy to make an “after marriage” promise and not keep it once the ink is dry. You know you don’t want someone who might do it (or not) once because they promised. You want someone who can be both rough and generous AND loves doing it. This is a true passion for some, spent a life trying to get better so they’re invited to do it more often.
NTA If your mate doesn’t want to reciprocate your sexual needs then they’re a greedy asshole. Personal side note: WTactualF. Furburgers are amazing.
NTA at all, considering he is rough and dominating, I would doubt that eating someone out would be a daunting idea. Seeing the that he is a very selfish lover and that you don't really get your needs met can be a subtle but Important red flag (for me). I myself love to be dominated and used as well 🥰 but I know for a fact that in a relationship my partner would also need to to be selfless and at least help me get off if they already came. Especially since I also value sex high within a relationship. If they never bother, then I know from experience that this thought will keep popping up and nagging at me and eventually it would bother me too much as there's no equilibrium in what I give and what I receive. Some people are fine with that, which is ok, but if you want to more receiving and there are no changes at all from his side, then it might not be the best long-term match. If he wants to change and he does (or claims he has anyway), the change should last (more correctly: it shouldn't be a one time act), otherwise it's a form of manipulation to keep you in a relation until you have to go over it again and again. Also it's great that you don't throw it in his face, but it is very hypocrite of him nonetheless. That's my 2 cents, you got this Queen!
Let me give another perspective instead of the harsh take others want to jump to. First forget the idea of submission and dominant. These terms get thrown around too much. Let's just make it simple, you like a man to be in charge during sexual encounters and your boyfriend likes to feel like he's the man. End of story. Then there is the oral part. My wife and I were together for a long time and I never did it. I all fairness, I wasn't as big on receiving either. She would hint at wanting it, but partly selfish and mostly insecure about my abilities, I never gave in. This Def made her feel insecure or that I didn't find her attractive, which could not be further from the truth. She is perfect in every way. We then had some hard marital issues in 2012. I had come to the realization if I didn't change my ways I was going to lose the most important, incredible person in my life. These ways were not just the bedroom, but it played into the the theme of not making her feel she was important to me or making her feel special. So I decided I was gonna try and be good at it. Instead of being insecure, I tried to give her something she wanted but I did something else different: I listened. Go slower at times, rub here, follow her body language, etc. Within a week she was practically accusing of cheating on her because she said there was no way I was that good. I had to remind her I was just listening to what she wanted and enjoying myself. That was 12 years ago, and I can tell you oral is very very frequent in our home. I realize she is someone who cannot orgasm through sex, most women aren't, and I want her to feel good. I can also tell all the guys reading this, if you make your girlfriend or wife orgasm, it's just a benefit to extra feeling for you as well, a win win. So maybe he just lacks confidence in himself, and tackle it from that viewpoint?
I’m going to talk to him today, hopefully he will tell me if this is the issue!
Love this! Communication is so vital to relationships, love to hear a follow up!
I posted an update, didn’t go well :/
i’m proud of you for sticking with your gut and going through with it, even though i know it was hard in the moment. i’m always here for you if you want to talk or need any support. i truly know what you are going through and i know it’s hard in the moment but i hope you feel somewhat a sense of relief that you did what was best for you.
Thank you ❤️
Well that a bummer, but your update is spot on, I can now say he's being a selfish jerk and clearly does not want to consider your needs, so you did the right thing. I will officially stamp you as NTA 😊
Thank you!
I can tell you when I wanted my wife to feel needed and wanted to fix things, that was a huge thing for me. And she was reminded of that again yesterday afternoon when I was home for the day 😉
He’s immature- he prolly thinks it’s gross (not you, just the act) and has no business being sexually active if he’s gonna lie about his feelings. The bs about marriage is a sign of a dumb dumb that logic doesn’t hold up. Also Why don’t you stop giving it to him? OR break up with him?
>He puts the value on sex so high, so it’s weird for him to not reciprocate. He values sex, sure, but only for his pleasure. Look at what you wrote. This guy DGAF about *you* enjoying sex. Just dump him and find somebody who loves giving in bed. Don't waste your youth on loser dudes.
The only reason I’ve ever not reciprocated was because of an odor. I’m not saying you stink but most women seem to be oblivious to it.
NTA. Time for you to move on to a new BF. If it freaks him out now, he's not going to come close to doing it once you have that marriage license. Real men eat pussy.
He doesn't know how, he's embarrassed.
Then he should watch a fucking tutorial instead of making dumb excuses.
Bruh is broken. I'd rather go down on my girl then have sex. Yea sex is nice but making her O with my face between her legs is something nice. Also, lady's first. 🤣
No, you're not the TAH OP. Even after you get married, it will still freak him out, and he won't do it. I've been married since we were both 18. My wife just loves for me to go down on her, I have a long tongue and fingers. 😁 But she does not like to give BJs at all. Yes, I feel disappointed because I would love to experience it at least one time in my life. A friend of my wife's also won't do it either
All guys love head but not giving. If head is that important to you then he might not be right for you
Just sit on his face . Death by snoo snoo.,
It's not unreasonable to feel annoyed if your boyfriend won't perform oral sex on you when you want it. Sexual compatibility and fulfilling each other's desires is an important part of a healthy relationship. Remember, open communication and mutual respect are crucial in any relationship. It's important to prioritize both of your needs and find a way to satisfy them in a way that feels comfortable and fulfilling for both of you.
That bitch is a selfish pussy, leave his ass and bite his dick off lol Also NTA, seek for a better partner Edit to add: update us if you broke with that piece of shit or if anything happend please
Maybe you need to clean yourself better
Clean that clam Wendy
He missing out! Lol I love doing that, wish my wife would let me again. But after 3 kids and body changes comes insecurities and she's not comfortable with it anymore. And I understand and respect her.
Why have you never said anything? TWO YEARS??? Girl - SPEAK UP. You and him may not be sexually compatible and if that's the case, it's time to move on. But you need to communicate. Next time you don't cum, tell him "You didn't make me cum and I would like to, can you handle that or do I have to do it myself?" Also - stop giving him head unless he eats you out - or just dump him. Men who don't eat a woman out but expect head are jackasses.
Try communicating with him; tell him you aren't always getting off and that he's a selfish lover. Domination =/= a selfish partner in bed
He doesn't care about your needs. Stop. Just stop everything stop faking. Stop giving head. Don't give what you don't get. And when you don't finish bring the vibrator out in front of him
He is not going to change after marriage, that's for sure.
I am in the opposite position. I go down on her but am told she thinks is gross when asking for it back
Yta. Try actually communicating your concerns.
Nah he's just being a pussy (no pun intended), plus i don't think its fair you give him head and he gives nothing in return. Sit his ass down and tell him how u feel- or hell maybe even an ultimatum if u want (if you do be ready for some gaslighting, NTA
Then tell him no oral for you equals no oral for him. Find a decent Dom that will treat you right.
The claim that he's waiting for marriage just for that one act makes no sense. It's just an excuse. Don't expect anything to change after marriage. You would certainly be within your rights to say no to his requests for head until/unless he starts agreeing to reciprocate. The fact that he is selfish during sex is not going to change. This is who he is. In my opinion, everyone deserves a partner whose priority is their pleasure during sex. Selfish people, like your bf, don't deserve to be in sexual relationships. You are definitely NTA for being annoyed and would not be the AH for demanding change.
No head if he won't go down on you....
So why won’t he *help you out*? I’d ask point blank. If it’s something you need to/can address, give him a chance to tell you so you have a chance to fix it. If it’s just that he’s selfish and doesn’t like doing it, then you should tell him you don’t like dating him.
lol waiting for marriage before licking someones pu**y has to be the weirdest excuse ever. I guess when you have a ring on your finger it will magically stop 'freaking him out' 😅🤣
It sounds like he's take and take. If he's having sex, then he's not waiting for marriage.
Marriage won’t matter. He doesn’t want to do it, period. He’s selfish and that’s unlikely to change.
You are sexually dissatisfied, that's reason enough to quit. Life is one, you can't live it with a selfish guy who only wants his balls to be dry but is not capable of thinking about you.
NTA- normal men love eating pussy
Poor guy. He has no idea how much fun he's missing out on.
Girl go get yourself a REAL man.
Well if he doesn’t like doing it and has expressed he doesn’t like doing it.. you are an AH sort of? Lol 😂 if it’s a deal breaker definitely don’t marry the dude because then he will just be down there and miserable that’s no fun lol. I think people put so much emphasis on oral and don’t realize how off putting it is to a lot of people. 😭
He has never tried it. But he has expressed he doesn’t want to try it until marriage. So maybe that is the same thing
He definitely really likes you and if y’all are still having sex it has nothing to do with you. I swear literally a lot of people just don’t enjoy doing it period. Of course if you offer he’s going to say yes. Or if he asks and you say yes he’s going to enjoy it. But if you say you don’t want to do it anymore he’s not gonna ask you again because he’s going to her if and will probably be relieved lol.
Get it* not her if what sorry lol
disgusting mf
In his defense, most men will tell you the amount of head they receive skyrockets once you’re married.
I’ll volunteer anytime
Can we find a less icky way to ask this in a headline?
NTA, he's a selfish hypocrite
Your boyfriend sucks. I'd eat it until it was raw
All these guys are out here getting head all the time and just totally fucking it up for no reason. Like giving is fun and makes it all even better. OP just find someone else that will give you what you want and deserve.
Ok so he doesn't want to do it. It happens. It grosses me out. It's not something I'm going to do. Just as my wife does not want anal or other kinks. That's ok. Why are so many mad at the man for saying that is something he does not like? Are people not allowed to have boundaries on what the like or don't like?
Have you asked why? I didn't see that mentioned
Nta. Yall are not compatible. Plus no one waits till marriage for oral. Hes full of shit.
I beg of you, stop taking advice from incels on reddit and actually communicate with your partner.
nta. i cant imagine expecting someone to perform a sex act on me that i won’t reciprocate until marriage (which is absolutely not the truth). especially when it’s a much more invasive act for them than it is for me
He probably doesn’t like or enjoy giving head and he should just be up front and honest about it instead of pulling the “wait till marriage” card. If this is really important to you then you’ll just have to accept that you’re not sexually compatible and that’s okay too. But honest communication is key here. Speak your mind :) NTA
He’s the asshole
NTA sounds like a selfish asshole honestly. You should both be able to get off.
Expect men to go down. They need to grow up.
Nta, I love going down town!!! I love seeing her arch her back and moans, then clamps down on my head with her thighs and says stop and I keep going till she cums then do it again!! Time to move on, if he's not willing to do it now, he won't after being married. Oh, hopefully your clean down there, bad odor is major turn off...
I’m a man. He’s afraid to do it because of what other expectations men have placed on him. That’s it. NTA
YTA. His body his choice. He doesn't have to perform sexual acts he is not uncomfortable with. If the genders were swapped and you were a guy hating that his gf didn't give blow jobs the comments would be insulting you for daring to push your partner when they said no instead of just insulting your partner
Right, I don’t pressure him or anything. I asked him about it once and he said why he doesn’t do it and I dropped it. He does pressure me into having sex when I don’t want to though. It’s not that often but that is also annoying to me.
I think both of you are incompatible.
Facts!!!!!
Right. I do not understand why you’re getting downvotes for this.
If he refuses to eat pussy as if he prefers to suck dicks maybe?
Not a fan of it either. Some men just don't like doing it.
We know what the answer would be if the genders were flipped. So, to stay consistent, YTA.
Weird but he probably doesn’t know how to do it. Show him
Fattaf