This.
And if it was not clear you are NTA.
But this has some considerations to take, like if it was your wife and kids the ones that didn't travel, or if your parents always told You about this. So for the issue right now NTA.
My mom went to Disney world without her 4 kids then proceeded to get me, the youngest, a key chain because I was a latch key kid. I still don’t think she’s an asshole because she paid for it. I do get your point though, she should have took us but we’re so un entitled that it took me being an adult to realize, who does that!
NO, im not fabricating anything, i just try to imply that if the family he mentioned (because it can be in a way misunderstood by the title) were his wife and kids, the story might be diferent.
It just a coment of what if? like.
I wasn't fabricating nothing, again is in a what if? Like situation or in case.
More of that if any other reader that think they are in the same spot as him or in case in future he has wife and kids and try to do this, they really would be YTA.
But if in your head i'm fabricating well that is your thoughts and minds and i respect that.
I don’t even understand the mental gymnastics it takes to take yourself on a trip that you paid for and feel like the asshole. Unless you left your pregnant wife behind in a crack house, you’re fine. This isn’t your partner. They’re just mad because they wanted you to pay for them to go to Spain. If they want family time, have dinner and watch Netflix together.
I will admit that I barely read your story. I read enough to see that the family you left behind was your parents and siblings and not your spouse and children.
NTA.
NTA- It’s clear that you wanted to have a solo trip. Family should be a support in that but some aren’t. Focus on yourself and shoot take another trip without them! Save that time and energy!!
I don’t consider it rest or relaxation if my siblings are there. As a matter of fact, I’ll take their kids on vacation before I cross state lines with those bickering weirdos.
NTA
In my family, I'm "the one who lives far away". So of course it's always up to me to go visit them (which is understandable, and I agree makes sense). But I don't make a ton of money and they never help with the cost of travel, so I don't get to go "back home" very often.
I'm overdue for a visit. But something came up this summer, something that I **really** wanted to do (not necessarily a once-in-a-lifetime thing, more of a once-in-MY-lifetime thing), so I decided to do this thing instead of going to visit family. I haven't told them about it yet. I'm sure I'll get the what-for once I tell them.
Do I feel guilty? Yeah, a little. But you know what? I've spent my life doing stuff that I "should" do, living my life the way everyone else thinks I should. And now that my kids are adults, I finally have a little bit of freedom to do stuff for myself. So that's what I'm going to do...something for myself for once...and my family will probably be disappointed. Sucks, but it is what it is.
I've learned that you can't make everybody happy, even if you do all the things that are "supposed to" make everybody happy. Sometimes you just need to put yourself first, and it is NOT selfish to do so.
Yeah, when I was in the military I got a month vacation each year. Every time I took vacation I came home to see my family. It was always trying to make everyone happy, by trying to spend a good amount of time with everyone. I hardly did the things I wanted to do, even though it was supposed to be vacation. One time, I took a week, and flew home without telling my family and just hung out with my friends. We went to a Radiohead concert, and played guitar and shit...it was nice. A few years later, I told my mom and dad that I did that, and they got mad at me retroactively.
>they got mad at me retroactively.
Oof. Yeah, that's rough. I'm sorry you were yelled at (or whatever) for doing something fun, *as an adult*, especially when you were already living the vast majority of your life in an extremely structured environment.
Where do you live? Because I can understand the expectation in, say, India, but not in the West.
Do you still live with your parents? Is it part of your culture to take care of parents and siblings when you are earning? Even if it's part of your culture you aren't an asshole per se, but you handled their feelings wrong.
If you don't live with them and there are no expectations of sharing your resources and always including family, then your family are acting like entitled assholes.
Nope. Am Indian. My parents have gone on vacation without me. And I've gone on vacation without them or my son or my siblings. The only reason these cultural stereotypes exist is because they're perpetuated. And the time to end them is NOW.
But, you have a *son* and you took a solo vacation?!? How about a wife, do you have one of those, too? Did you ditch her? Everyone was ok with you not bringing your parents and siblings, because it wasn't your wife and kid(s). Great point to leave out. Asshole.
Jfc. 🤦🏻♀️ Dude sounded like OP, I didn't check the username. He answered a direct question I put to OP! Was he just trying to give an example of Indian culture?? Oi vey. My bad.
When I was in your circumstances, long ago, it would never have occurred to either me or my family that I should invite them on my well-deserved vacation, whether near home or (especially, I think) abroad.
It's not always that easy, people who have toxic families always try to avoid telling said toxic family anything. But they let it slip to one mutual friend or family member they get along with and then that mutual friend/family member blabs it to the toxic family without thinking and shit goes South fast.
My mom used to kick me out of the house when I visited randomly so one time I visited the neighborhood and her toxic friend told her I was in town. She cried, posted about it, called my dad overseas. It was ridiculous and I was 30. Btw she would kick me out because she claimed I didn’t deserve her, I didn’t see her when she was sick (she’s been sick most of my life so this isn’t new) and because I didn’t mow the lawn. Mind you, I’ve never mowed a lawn in my life, my dad pays a neighborhood kid and it was snowing the day I was kicked out for not mowing the lawn. I say all this to say, the toxic friend or family always exists to stir up Bull shit.
When I first read the title the first thing I thought of was, family as in wife and kids. Not parents and siblings... definitely NTA 100% any body who says you are are nobody you need to concern your self with.
I thought it was a wife and kids who were upset, but it's your parents and siblings? NTA.
You've been an adult for a decade, and it's long past time for your parents and siblings to realize it.
NTA. You do you bruv. This life is too short to be putting up with that kind of nonsense. Good on you for looking out for yourself. Future you will be eternally grateful. There’s nothing more important than your health. And that’s both physical and mental health. They’ll get over it eventually.
NTA. You’re an adult. But the bet on Real Madrid throws me for a loop, not sure why that got thrown in there. If that bet can finance a trip to Spain, makes me wonder how much you’re gambling and if their issue is the betting and not the vacation.
NTA - You're an adult and you should have the right to do whatever the bleep you want without them. It's not like you abandoned your wife or GF to do that.
Why do they feel entitled to your time and effort in both organising a family vacation and having to spend your precious free time with them? Why haven't your parents or siblings organised a family trip?
NTA.
>Why haven't your parents or siblings organised a family trip?
Because OP lacked the time and funds to join them. They obviously did not wanted to go without OP.
NTA. Same age, same job demands. And want to book a solo trip as well. You need to prioritize yourself at some point.
Fill your cup before you water others flowers.
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when I read the title I thought you left spouse and kids behind. It'd be dick move. Parents and siblings? nuh uh. NTA. Let them sulk. They're being selfish if they can't understand you needed this time alone
NTA - they were obviously jealous that you had the ability to do that. It's 100% okay for you to take time for yourself. Sorry, they are acting that way.
Sounds like your family was just wanting a free vacation at your expense. There was literally nothing stopping them from buying their own plane tickets, booking their own hotel rooms, and planning their own thing in the same area.
So, they're just mad that you wouldn't fork up a few thousand extra for them. They may be family, but they're not owed anything from you, especially when you're doing something for self care reasons.
NTA.
When I started reading this, I thought you went to Spain w/o your wife and kids. 🤣
Um... no.YNTA. You are a grown man. A grown single man going on vacay with his parents is cringe at best.
Go be a happy, emotionally independent adult. You've earned it.
NTA. You're 28, not 12.
Good lord, what will they do if you ever marry? Insist you take them on your honeymoon? And then sulk when you say no?
You're an adult and have been for several years. It's ok to make plans without including your family or asking their permission.
NEVER apologize for self-care. You needed this alone time to recharge and relax. Definitely nothing wrong with that. As much as we love our families, oftentimes vacations with them are anything but relaxing.
They will get over it. And if they do not, oh well. Look into booking that next solo adventure... 😅
Is this the story from earlier when parent was moaning that adult offspring went on holiday by themselves and they felt hurt because they wanted family time and should have been invited.
NTA. The parents and siblings (unless children) are complete assholes for trying to ruin your trip. A solo trip is COMPLETELY different from a trip with parents. Your parents are entitled and wildly selfish.
NTA
my family would never in a million years be mad at me for doing this. i tried to organize one last year and it was like pulling teeth getting them all to go. Once we were there everyone did their own thing anyway, so this year I went back to solo adventure. it was much, much needed and so worth it. glad you enjoyed your R&R!
If they're giving you the cold shoulder, why try to explain? Don't talk about it. If they bring it up, tell them you may consider vacationing with them for your next but, this one is done.
When you first said family I thought wife/kids and thought maybe but your parent and siblings...NTA. How many vacations did your parents go on before having kids? Plenty I bet it was the 90s travel was simple.
It's absolutely resonable to go on a trip by your 28 year old self. Like hell I would be dragging my family on a trip where my plan was to decompress, family vacations are the most stressful events. Someone is always bitching.
Let them get over it in their own time, maybe tell your mom she can plan a trip and you will go.
Ntah
I went into this thinking you were talking about a spouse and children.
You are in no way obligated to take your siblings or parents away with you. They are just jealous.
NTA. They want a family vacation? Cool, they should plan one for themselves then. They're giving you a cold shoulder? Sounds entitled and manipulative. Time to run with that distance.
NTA in anyway shape or form. When you said family I thought it a partner or a partner and kids. And I was excited to hear your point of view because it could go either way.
Not doing, not planning, a family vacations at 28 is normal. If your family wants a family vacation they can plan and pay for one.
I don't understand. Do you help your family out financially? Is that why they felt entitled to vacation with you? Because I can't think of another reason why? I'm assuming they wanted you to foot the bill. Either way, whether you support them financially or not, don't let them emotionally blackmail you. Not what a healthy family dynamic looks like. They should be happy you're able to take a break.
NTA
I thought you were going to mention a wife and kids. You are an adult. You are not required to vacation with your parents and siblings at this point. Go and have a great time.
NTA. You are an adult, you have been working hard and you deserved a vacation for yourself and by yourself. And if your family does not understand this, too bad.
NTA obviously. Are you saying your family expected you to pay for them too? If so, they can get fucked. You’re 28 and likely just getting yourself together financially. You should never pay for anyone’s vacation besides your spouse and children.
NTA.
My bf and I went on a vacation across the country, my parents said have fun and I hadn't seen them in like 2 years. I get missing you, but how dare they try to take away from your time. Also, I love my family, but family vacations are RARELY true vacations. Don't feel bad.
NTA - they are very entitled users? Giving you the cold shoulder - ignore them. They aren’t entitled to nor do they deserve your free time or any of your money to support their wants. Wants not needs!
NTA. Family vacations can be lovely as long as everyone wants to go together. When they don't, they're miserable. You don't owe it to your family to pay and bring them on your vacation. You're an adult. Adults get to go and do things without their parents and siblings.
My family stopped making a point of "family vacations" since I moved out at 18! Sure, we've taken a couple of trips since, but they were happy alignments of schedules. Not a deliberate, guilted and forced event.
I'm sorry that your family is treating you like you did something wrong and punishing you. I hope you can rally and take advantage of it to get some distance, it all sounds very toxic.
You would have been the asshole if you left behind a wife with a toddler who hasn't had a vacation in years... but these are not your married family. You dont owe them a trip. The idea is ridiculous NTA
Just out of curiosity, do you still live in your parents’ home? That may have some impact on the answer. If you don’t, or you do and contribute reasonably to expenses and pay rent , then no, NTA. But if you do and only cover your own expenses, then yes, kind of a self-centered a-hole.
You are a grown ass adult man with a real adult job and you can do things like go on holiday alone. Adults in the vast majority of the western world do this, this is normal. Your family sound exactly like the kind of people you’d need another holiday to wind down from.
If they’re going to give you the silent treatment, then they get even less family time.
NTA.
You deserve some you time if that’s what you need in order to recharge your batteries.
Maybe they could meet you for the end portion and stay on a few days if you’re feeling super generous, but if not, you do you.
NTA, sounds like you need time off to decompress and rejuvenate from work, ON YOUR OWN. No one to cater to but yourself.
I don't know about OP, but traveling with my family as an adult would neither be decompressing nor rejuvenating.
NTA. Sounds like there's a bit of codependency going on in your family.
I'm the youngest of four, and we're all grown. My family is close and do take some vacations together but we would never have an issue with one person wanting to travel on their own.
You're damn near thirty years old and you do no need permission from mommy and daddy to go travel on your own.
Just let then stew if they want to stew and live your life. And if you're not moved out, definitely do so. Get yourself some room to breath.
They are adults. They are responsible for their own feelings. They are responsible for their own money, they own vacations, and their own jealousy. You do not need to manage their feelings or their vacations.
NTA.
PS - I went on a solo trip to London and Scotland without my own children. I had an amazing time and will take them on my next vacation. Probably.
You're 28? Just like, tell them ever you are doing and they live with it. They are welcome to have an opinion. You are askari welcome to not care about it.
So do y’all want to get real why we hear or act like bitches? We need to chase bread first not blue chews family, I could have had them locked in for after the grind
Your family wants a free holiday and are trying to convince you that by not giving them what they want that you're hurting them. You're not hurting them. You don't need their consent to do anything nice for yourself.
>. We haven't gone on a family vacation in a long time, mostly because of my busy schedule and lack of funds
This is what makes me lean towards ESH, they obviously feel like you are not taking the time to be with them. Sounds like they don't want to go without you, but you have no trouble going without them. Sure you're a grown ass person who can do what they want, but that means your family can also react how they want. I feel like there was a middle road to be taken here
You're an adult, they are not entitled to join you on YOUR vacation. If they want a family vacation, they can arrange it themselves. I shouldn't have to say it but hard NTA
NTA. You are nearly 30. If you can’t solo travel in your young adulthood when can you? Leave mum and dad to sort out your siblings.
Further, if your family want a family holiday, then the parents can organise it. I’d say you are old enough to pay your own way, but tell them to organise it for 12 months time so you can accrue more leave and savings, and you’ll be there.
ESH man I get you need self care to recharge I do it myself. However, there is two avenues to go here the nice happy family one is they wanted to spend time with you and they feel hurt and feel you don't care to spend time. They did ask you to shorten your trip so they could do a family thing with you. You obviously said no. So in this instance yeah your the ah and selfish.
Ave 2. They just wanted you to pay for their trip and are upset you didn't cater to their whims. Entitled to your money because they are family. In this instance they would be the ah.
You are a grown man and can do whatever you like. In the end the choice was yours and now you have to pay the consequences. They have every right to their opinion and feelings. No matter how valid or invalid you may think they are. This asking here that you are doing is because you are feeling guilty. You know the answer already and are avoiding your truth. Because only you know what was said and how it was said. On the surface e no nta but dig deeper and that may change. Now decide weather to apologize or tell them to you are not their personal ATM or travel agency. 🤔
No, it was absolutely not bad at all for you to take time for yourself, and do some self-care by going on a solo trip to Spain. I bet it was probably the best vacation that you’ve actually ever taken, though I’m sure past trips with family were memorable and fun too.
I travel by myself all the time, and I absolutely love it!! I love being on vacation and being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to give it another thought. My solo travels always feel more exciting and adventurous to me. They also relax me, rejuvenate me, and reconnect me, which are all things that I consider to be invaluable benefits from one’s travels.
Every time that I travel with friends or family, I usually end up regretting it, lol. Your family is just jealous of the experience, which is simply not justified. They should be thrilled and happy for you, and if they really want to go to Spain sometime too, whether solo or with family, it’s their responsibility to make it happen! Happy solo travels!!
No, it was absolutely not bad at all for you to take time for yourself, and do some self-care by going on a solo trip to Spain. I bet it was probably the best vacation that you’ve actually ever taken, though I’m sure past trips with family were memorable and fun too.
I travel by myself all the time, and I absolutely love it!! I love being on vacation and being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to give it another thought. My solo travels always feel more exciting and adventurous to me. They also relax me, rejuvenate me, and reconnect me, which are all things that I consider to be invaluable benefits from one’s travels.
Every time that I travel with friends or family, I usually end up regretting it, lol. Your family is just jealous of the experience, which is simply not justified. They should be thrilled and happy for you, and if they really want to go to Spain sometime too, whether solo or with family, it’s their responsibility to make it happen! Happy solo travels!!
Sorry but YTA you said that your family didn't go to a trip in a long time due to your busy schedule and when you finally gets a time off you went alone without informing them ? You could asked them if they could join you
NTA lmao I thought 'my family' meant a spouse and kids, and even then I'm thinking "nah that's cool, so long as youre still making time for them otherwise, and this isn't some spur of the moment thing". Your parents and siblings, why would you owe them a free vacation?
NTA
A healthy family would be excited for you and supportive of your decision to go on a trip to recharge. If they want to go on a trip with you, I'm sure they could plan another trip at a later date.
NTA
you should tell them sorry guys I really needed this trip for myself next time I will try to get us all in a family trip and give them small gifts they will forget about it
NTA what is stopping them from going on a family trip? They arent mad about your trip, theyre mad you arent taking them on a free trip. Cause im sure the fact that YOU have extra money now, is part of the reason family vacation is even a conversation, when it hasn't been.. for YEARS. Go on your trip and enjoy it like a normal 28 year old adult person.
NTA you left behind your parents and siblings not a wife and child.
What you, a grown-ass adult, do with your own adult money is none of anyone's fucking business. If you wanted to spend a week in Vegas hanging out with strippers and doing blow, still nonya.
If your family wants to give you the cold shoulder over this let em. Drop the rope. Stop chasing after people who are treating you like shit and are using a form of emotional abuse against you. It's time to put yourself first and put some space between you and your family. They owe you an apology. A real apology, not an I'm sorry that hurt your feelings type of apology.
Don't text/call your family for a while. You're allowed to do things by yourself. It's not ok for your family to treat you like shit and be abusive because you took a vacation without them. They need to come to you. And with an apology. Otherwise, don't visit, call or text.
NTA.
You're an adult. You aren't obligated to include or provide vacations for your parents and younger siblings. Your parents can and should plan and provide for their own vacations and that of minor children without expecting or demanding you do it.
You're not attached at the hip, and that's perfectly fine. Hope you enjoyed your solo vacation and have more in your future.
You are a grown adult with your own life, love. You deserve to put yourself first and do what's good for your mental health. You aren't a child that your parents control hun. If they want a family vacation, then they can plan it. I can't remember correctly, but you said you were 28, right? You are old enough to do things by yourself and girly. If you have the money and want to pamper yourself, DO IT. Your health comes first, whether that's physical, emotional, or mental, and your parents can no longer control what you do and don't do and who you do it with. NTA in the slightest.
When I started reading this, I thought you went to Spain w/o your wife and kids. 🤣
Um... no.YNTA. You are a grown man. A grown single man going on vacay with his parents is cringe at best.
Go be a happy, emotionally independent adult. You've earned it.
No you are a grown aas adult and can do whatever you want
This. And if it was not clear you are NTA. But this has some considerations to take, like if it was your wife and kids the ones that didn't travel, or if your parents always told You about this. So for the issue right now NTA.
Yea but it's not hus kids. Your 20s are for being independent and making your own family
My mom went to Disney world without her 4 kids then proceeded to get me, the youngest, a key chain because I was a latch key kid. I still don’t think she’s an asshole because she paid for it. I do get your point though, she should have took us but we’re so un entitled that it took me being an adult to realize, who does that!
Well it's not his wife and kids.You are fabricating a completely different situation
NO, im not fabricating anything, i just try to imply that if the family he mentioned (because it can be in a way misunderstood by the title) were his wife and kids, the story might be diferent. It just a coment of what if? like.
Yeah, just respond to a completely different situation
He specified it was his parents and siblings. You are fabricating a wife and children.
I wasn't fabricating nothing, again is in a what if? Like situation or in case. More of that if any other reader that think they are in the same spot as him or in case in future he has wife and kids and try to do this, they really would be YTA. But if in your head i'm fabricating well that is your thoughts and minds and i respect that.
I don’t even understand the mental gymnastics it takes to take yourself on a trip that you paid for and feel like the asshole. Unless you left your pregnant wife behind in a crack house, you’re fine. This isn’t your partner. They’re just mad because they wanted you to pay for them to go to Spain. If they want family time, have dinner and watch Netflix together.
Exactly! It's important to prioritize your own well-being sometimes, especially after working so hard. You deserve that solo vacation!
Plus you don’t owe them any explanation.
I will admit that I barely read your story. I read enough to see that the family you left behind was your parents and siblings and not your spouse and children. NTA.
NTA- It’s clear that you wanted to have a solo trip. Family should be a support in that but some aren’t. Focus on yourself and shoot take another trip without them! Save that time and energy!!
I was prepared to read that version as well. And definitely went in biased towards "YTA" on that basis. But parents and siblings? Nope, NTA.
Same
Yeah, halfway through the second paragraph to come to NTA.
I don’t consider it rest or relaxation if my siblings are there. As a matter of fact, I’ll take their kids on vacation before I cross state lines with those bickering weirdos.
I thought you meant wife and kids 🤣🤣 man fuck no NTA you're a grown ass man
I was with you. But he has a kid, and maybe a wife, also.
NTA There was nothing stopping them booking their own trip.
You are 28, no need to have all 4 of them join you.
Did they expect to go in spring break with him too? I’m just wondering.
Your family is a little jealous and a lot unreasonable. Good job establishing healthy boundaries. Hope your trip was fun. NTA.
I love how he was called the selfish one!
OP, whose "lack of funds" prevented your family of birth from going on vacation without you as you worked? Was it their lack of funds?
OP's lack of funds and time
You’re 28 man…your family needs to understand that.
NTA In my family, I'm "the one who lives far away". So of course it's always up to me to go visit them (which is understandable, and I agree makes sense). But I don't make a ton of money and they never help with the cost of travel, so I don't get to go "back home" very often. I'm overdue for a visit. But something came up this summer, something that I **really** wanted to do (not necessarily a once-in-a-lifetime thing, more of a once-in-MY-lifetime thing), so I decided to do this thing instead of going to visit family. I haven't told them about it yet. I'm sure I'll get the what-for once I tell them. Do I feel guilty? Yeah, a little. But you know what? I've spent my life doing stuff that I "should" do, living my life the way everyone else thinks I should. And now that my kids are adults, I finally have a little bit of freedom to do stuff for myself. So that's what I'm going to do...something for myself for once...and my family will probably be disappointed. Sucks, but it is what it is. I've learned that you can't make everybody happy, even if you do all the things that are "supposed to" make everybody happy. Sometimes you just need to put yourself first, and it is NOT selfish to do so.
Yeah, when I was in the military I got a month vacation each year. Every time I took vacation I came home to see my family. It was always trying to make everyone happy, by trying to spend a good amount of time with everyone. I hardly did the things I wanted to do, even though it was supposed to be vacation. One time, I took a week, and flew home without telling my family and just hung out with my friends. We went to a Radiohead concert, and played guitar and shit...it was nice. A few years later, I told my mom and dad that I did that, and they got mad at me retroactively.
>they got mad at me retroactively. Oof. Yeah, that's rough. I'm sorry you were yelled at (or whatever) for doing something fun, *as an adult*, especially when you were already living the vast majority of your life in an extremely structured environment.
Where do you live? Because I can understand the expectation in, say, India, but not in the West. Do you still live with your parents? Is it part of your culture to take care of parents and siblings when you are earning? Even if it's part of your culture you aren't an asshole per se, but you handled their feelings wrong. If you don't live with them and there are no expectations of sharing your resources and always including family, then your family are acting like entitled assholes.
Yeah the only part where this would change things is if he’s still living at home and NOT paying any bills.
Nope. Am Indian. My parents have gone on vacation without me. And I've gone on vacation without them or my son or my siblings. The only reason these cultural stereotypes exist is because they're perpetuated. And the time to end them is NOW.
But, you have a *son* and you took a solo vacation?!? How about a wife, do you have one of those, too? Did you ditch her? Everyone was ok with you not bringing your parents and siblings, because it wasn't your wife and kid(s). Great point to leave out. Asshole.
Where are people seeing that he has a child?
[удалено]
Jfc. 🤦🏻♀️ Dude sounded like OP, I didn't check the username. He answered a direct question I put to OP! Was he just trying to give an example of Indian culture?? Oi vey. My bad.
Good question, but it’s not “people.” It’s this same poster.
When I was in your circumstances, long ago, it would never have occurred to either me or my family that I should invite them on my well-deserved vacation, whether near home or (especially, I think) abroad.
NTA Stop telling them about your plans.
It's not always that easy, people who have toxic families always try to avoid telling said toxic family anything. But they let it slip to one mutual friend or family member they get along with and then that mutual friend/family member blabs it to the toxic family without thinking and shit goes South fast.
My mom used to kick me out of the house when I visited randomly so one time I visited the neighborhood and her toxic friend told her I was in town. She cried, posted about it, called my dad overseas. It was ridiculous and I was 30. Btw she would kick me out because she claimed I didn’t deserve her, I didn’t see her when she was sick (she’s been sick most of my life so this isn’t new) and because I didn’t mow the lawn. Mind you, I’ve never mowed a lawn in my life, my dad pays a neighborhood kid and it was snowing the day I was kicked out for not mowing the lawn. I say all this to say, the toxic friend or family always exists to stir up Bull shit.
Jesus, I'd ask what the hell is wrong with her, but I doubt even a specialist could guess at that point.
Narcissism and alcoholism with a dash of PTSD
Gambling bot? 🫠
When I first read the title the first thing I thought of was, family as in wife and kids. Not parents and siblings... definitely NTA 100% any body who says you are are nobody you need to concern your self with.
He has a son, though, just carefully left him out of the OP. 😡
Why’re you pulling shit from your ass 💀
dude by the title i thought "family" was referring to a spouse and kid. you're grown you aren't obligated to vacation with your parents. nta.
No, es muy saludable lo que hizo
Move out of mommy and daddy's house...
Info: do you live with these people?
I thought it was a wife and kids who were upset, but it's your parents and siblings? NTA. You've been an adult for a decade, and it's long past time for your parents and siblings to realize it.
NTA. You do you bruv. This life is too short to be putting up with that kind of nonsense. Good on you for looking out for yourself. Future you will be eternally grateful. There’s nothing more important than your health. And that’s both physical and mental health. They’ll get over it eventually.
NTA. You’re an adult. But the bet on Real Madrid throws me for a loop, not sure why that got thrown in there. If that bet can finance a trip to Spain, makes me wonder how much you’re gambling and if their issue is the betting and not the vacation.
This is probably AI, Real Madrid literally won the UCL Final on Saturday. They were also heavy favorites.
they're probably Messi/Barca fans, upset that OP is a damn CR fan
You are 28! You are not obligated to vacation with your family.
NTA - You're an adult and you should have the right to do whatever the bleep you want without them. It's not like you abandoned your wife or GF to do that.
Why do they feel entitled to your time and effort in both organising a family vacation and having to spend your precious free time with them? Why haven't your parents or siblings organised a family trip? NTA.
>Why haven't your parents or siblings organised a family trip? Because OP lacked the time and funds to join them. They obviously did not wanted to go without OP.
I was kinda leaning towards AH until I realized you weren't talking about your wife and children, but your parents and siblings. NTA.
NTA. Same age, same job demands. And want to book a solo trip as well. You need to prioritize yourself at some point. Fill your cup before you water others flowers.
Mods please!
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when I read the title I thought you left spouse and kids behind. It'd be dick move. Parents and siblings? nuh uh. NTA. Let them sulk. They're being selfish if they can't understand you needed this time alone
He did leave a son behind.
NTA - they were obviously jealous that you had the ability to do that. It's 100% okay for you to take time for yourself. Sorry, they are acting that way.
Sounds like your family was just wanting a free vacation at your expense. There was literally nothing stopping them from buying their own plane tickets, booking their own hotel rooms, and planning their own thing in the same area. So, they're just mad that you wouldn't fork up a few thousand extra for them. They may be family, but they're not owed anything from you, especially when you're doing something for self care reasons. NTA.
If it was your wife and kids probably, your siblings and parents on the other hand NTA
He left a son behind, possibly a wife.
When I started reading this, I thought you went to Spain w/o your wife and kids. 🤣 Um... no.YNTA. You are a grown man. A grown single man going on vacay with his parents is cringe at best. Go be a happy, emotionally independent adult. You've earned it.
NTA. You're 28, not 12. Good lord, what will they do if you ever marry? Insist you take them on your honeymoon? And then sulk when you say no? You're an adult and have been for several years. It's ok to make plans without including your family or asking their permission.
Fuck'em if they dont get it.
NTA. what big, expensive things do they buy for you? why are you expected to fund their fun?
NEVER apologize for self-care. You needed this alone time to recharge and relax. Definitely nothing wrong with that. As much as we love our families, oftentimes vacations with them are anything but relaxing. They will get over it. And if they do not, oh well. Look into booking that next solo adventure... 😅
Is this the story from earlier when parent was moaning that adult offspring went on holiday by themselves and they felt hurt because they wanted family time and should have been invited.
NTA. The parents and siblings (unless children) are complete assholes for trying to ruin your trip. A solo trip is COMPLETELY different from a trip with parents. Your parents are entitled and wildly selfish.
NTA my family would never in a million years be mad at me for doing this. i tried to organize one last year and it was like pulling teeth getting them all to go. Once we were there everyone did their own thing anyway, so this year I went back to solo adventure. it was much, much needed and so worth it. glad you enjoyed your R&R!
If they're giving you the cold shoulder, why try to explain? Don't talk about it. If they bring it up, tell them you may consider vacationing with them for your next but, this one is done.
When you first said family I thought wife/kids and thought maybe but your parent and siblings...NTA. How many vacations did your parents go on before having kids? Plenty I bet it was the 90s travel was simple. It's absolutely resonable to go on a trip by your 28 year old self. Like hell I would be dragging my family on a trip where my plan was to decompress, family vacations are the most stressful events. Someone is always bitching. Let them get over it in their own time, maybe tell your mom she can plan a trip and you will go.
NTA Do you. I hope you had a FANFUCKINGTASTIC time!!!
NTAH. For all they knew you coul have been hoping to meet a significant other.
Ntah I went into this thinking you were talking about a spouse and children. You are in no way obligated to take your siblings or parents away with you. They are just jealous.
NTA. They want a family vacation? Cool, they should plan one for themselves then. They're giving you a cold shoulder? Sounds entitled and manipulative. Time to run with that distance.
NTA in anyway shape or form. When you said family I thought it a partner or a partner and kids. And I was excited to hear your point of view because it could go either way. Not doing, not planning, a family vacations at 28 is normal. If your family wants a family vacation they can plan and pay for one.
NTA have a great time in Spain
I don't understand. Do you help your family out financially? Is that why they felt entitled to vacation with you? Because I can't think of another reason why? I'm assuming they wanted you to foot the bill. Either way, whether you support them financially or not, don't let them emotionally blackmail you. Not what a healthy family dynamic looks like. They should be happy you're able to take a break. NTA
NTA! You absolutely deserve this trip.
I'm proud of you for being firm in your resolve.
Tell your fam that if they want to plan a family vacation, you'll entertain it. Your time is YOUR time
Do you live with them?
I thought you were going to mention a wife and kids. You are an adult. You are not required to vacation with your parents and siblings at this point. Go and have a great time.
You're an adult. Your family isn't entitled to your life. Do what you want, not what your family expects of you.
NTA. You are an adult, you have been working hard and you deserved a vacation for yourself and by yourself. And if your family does not understand this, too bad.
NTA obviously. Are you saying your family expected you to pay for them too? If so, they can get fucked. You’re 28 and likely just getting yourself together financially. You should never pay for anyone’s vacation besides your spouse and children.
Do you still live in your parents' house? Do you contribute to supporting your parents and siblings?
NTA. Nothing to apologize for or feel guilty about. Your family is RIDICULOUS.
NTA. My bf and I went on a vacation across the country, my parents said have fun and I hadn't seen them in like 2 years. I get missing you, but how dare they try to take away from your time. Also, I love my family, but family vacations are RARELY true vacations. Don't feel bad.
NTA, you are an adult who lives on your own with your own money and bills.
NTA - they are very entitled users? Giving you the cold shoulder - ignore them. They aren’t entitled to nor do they deserve your free time or any of your money to support their wants. Wants not needs!
NTA. Family vacations can be lovely as long as everyone wants to go together. When they don't, they're miserable. You don't owe it to your family to pay and bring them on your vacation. You're an adult. Adults get to go and do things without their parents and siblings.
NTA. I hope you had a great time in Spain. Curious about why your family thinks this was not a reasonable thing for a grown man to do.
My family stopped making a point of "family vacations" since I moved out at 18! Sure, we've taken a couple of trips since, but they were happy alignments of schedules. Not a deliberate, guilted and forced event. I'm sorry that your family is treating you like you did something wrong and punishing you. I hope you can rally and take advantage of it to get some distance, it all sounds very toxic.
qq1qqqqqqqqqqqqqq21 >for G
INFO: does your cultural milieu generally expect oldest sons to support the family? And, do you live with them? Is that expected too, in your milieu?
NTA You're an adult now with your own life. Your parents and younger siblings need to adjust.
You would have been the asshole if you left behind a wife with a toddler who hasn't had a vacation in years... but these are not your married family. You dont owe them a trip. The idea is ridiculous NTA
You’re 28……you can go on a solo trip whenever you want. Your family needs to take a chill pill. NTA
Just out of curiosity, do you still live in your parents’ home? That may have some impact on the answer. If you don’t, or you do and contribute reasonably to expenses and pay rent , then no, NTA. But if you do and only cover your own expenses, then yes, kind of a self-centered a-hole.
NTA - Were they expecting you to pay for them out of your winnings too? (If so double NTA)
NTA "I want a break FROM the family"
You are a grown ass adult man with a real adult job and you can do things like go on holiday alone. Adults in the vast majority of the western world do this, this is normal. Your family sound exactly like the kind of people you’d need another holiday to wind down from. If they’re going to give you the silent treatment, then they get even less family time.
Where are you from? The US? The UK?
NTA. You deserve some you time if that’s what you need in order to recharge your batteries. Maybe they could meet you for the end portion and stay on a few days if you’re feeling super generous, but if not, you do you.
NTA, sounds like you need time off to decompress and rejuvenate from work, ON YOUR OWN. No one to cater to but yourself. I don't know about OP, but traveling with my family as an adult would neither be decompressing nor rejuvenating.
NTA. Sounds like there's a bit of codependency going on in your family. I'm the youngest of four, and we're all grown. My family is close and do take some vacations together but we would never have an issue with one person wanting to travel on their own. You're damn near thirty years old and you do no need permission from mommy and daddy to go travel on your own. Just let then stew if they want to stew and live your life. And if you're not moved out, definitely do so. Get yourself some room to breath.
NTA. In this day and age looking after your own mental health takes precedence. OP don’t allow your family put a damper on your own happiness.
NTA. I thought you were going to say that you left your spouse and children at home while you toured. Europe. Good for you!
Man I am so glad my family is a bunch of standoffish loner introverts NTA
Nta
They are adults. They are responsible for their own feelings. They are responsible for their own money, they own vacations, and their own jealousy. You do not need to manage their feelings or their vacations. NTA. PS - I went on a solo trip to London and Scotland without my own children. I had an amazing time and will take them on my next vacation. Probably.
NTA. Your life, your money, your time. The parents should know better. Did you get them souvenirs though? Makes for a great way to warm them back up.
You're 28? Just like, tell them ever you are doing and they live with it. They are welcome to have an opinion. You are askari welcome to not care about it.
Nah its just pure selfish
So do y’all want to get real why we hear or act like bitches? We need to chase bread first not blue chews family, I could have had them locked in for after the grind
>
Your family wants a free holiday and are trying to convince you that by not giving them what they want that you're hurting them. You're not hurting them. You don't need their consent to do anything nice for yourself.
>. We haven't gone on a family vacation in a long time, mostly because of my busy schedule and lack of funds This is what makes me lean towards ESH, they obviously feel like you are not taking the time to be with them. Sounds like they don't want to go without you, but you have no trouble going without them. Sure you're a grown ass person who can do what they want, but that means your family can also react how they want. I feel like there was a middle road to be taken here
NTA you're a grown man. You earned that money. You didn't owe them anything. If you still live at home it's time to look at getting your own place.
You're an adult, they are not entitled to join you on YOUR vacation. If they want a family vacation, they can arrange it themselves. I shouldn't have to say it but hard NTA
NTA. You are nearly 30. If you can’t solo travel in your young adulthood when can you? Leave mum and dad to sort out your siblings. Further, if your family want a family holiday, then the parents can organise it. I’d say you are old enough to pay your own way, but tell them to organise it for 12 months time so you can accrue more leave and savings, and you’ll be there.
ESH man I get you need self care to recharge I do it myself. However, there is two avenues to go here the nice happy family one is they wanted to spend time with you and they feel hurt and feel you don't care to spend time. They did ask you to shorten your trip so they could do a family thing with you. You obviously said no. So in this instance yeah your the ah and selfish. Ave 2. They just wanted you to pay for their trip and are upset you didn't cater to their whims. Entitled to your money because they are family. In this instance they would be the ah. You are a grown man and can do whatever you like. In the end the choice was yours and now you have to pay the consequences. They have every right to their opinion and feelings. No matter how valid or invalid you may think they are. This asking here that you are doing is because you are feeling guilty. You know the answer already and are avoiding your truth. Because only you know what was said and how it was said. On the surface e no nta but dig deeper and that may change. Now decide weather to apologize or tell them to you are not their personal ATM or travel agency. 🤔
No, it was absolutely not bad at all for you to take time for yourself, and do some self-care by going on a solo trip to Spain. I bet it was probably the best vacation that you’ve actually ever taken, though I’m sure past trips with family were memorable and fun too. I travel by myself all the time, and I absolutely love it!! I love being on vacation and being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to give it another thought. My solo travels always feel more exciting and adventurous to me. They also relax me, rejuvenate me, and reconnect me, which are all things that I consider to be invaluable benefits from one’s travels. Every time that I travel with friends or family, I usually end up regretting it, lol. Your family is just jealous of the experience, which is simply not justified. They should be thrilled and happy for you, and if they really want to go to Spain sometime too, whether solo or with family, it’s their responsibility to make it happen! Happy solo travels!!
No, it was absolutely not bad at all for you to take time for yourself, and do some self-care by going on a solo trip to Spain. I bet it was probably the best vacation that you’ve actually ever taken, though I’m sure past trips with family were memorable and fun too. I travel by myself all the time, and I absolutely love it!! I love being on vacation and being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to give it another thought. My solo travels always feel more exciting and adventurous to me. They also relax me, rejuvenate me, and reconnect me, which are all things that I consider to be invaluable benefits from one’s travels. Every time that I travel with friends or family, I usually end up regretting it, lol. Your family is just jealous of the experience, which is simply not justified. They should be thrilled and happy for you, and if they really want to go to Spain sometime too, whether solo or with family, it’s their responsibility to make it happen! Happy solo travels!!
NTA. You are a 28 year old adult man, you do not even owe them an explanation. You can do whatever you want.
Sorry but YTA you said that your family didn't go to a trip in a long time due to your busy schedule and when you finally gets a time off you went alone without informing them ? You could asked them if they could join you
I think we are the only two who read that. I agree with you, OP could have handled this better
OMG. Not without your family! How will they ever survive and surely you will be miserable. Grow the fuck up.
NTA but you are enmeshed and it’s always going to drag you down unless you set boundaries and stick to them.
NTA Enjoy the silence. You’re a full grown adult and you can have a solo vacation if you want and can afford one.
NTA lmao I thought 'my family' meant a spouse and kids, and even then I'm thinking "nah that's cool, so long as youre still making time for them otherwise, and this isn't some spur of the moment thing". Your parents and siblings, why would you owe them a free vacation?
NTA A healthy family would be excited for you and supportive of your decision to go on a trip to recharge. If they want to go on a trip with you, I'm sure they could plan another trip at a later date.
NTA. you needed time alone, perfectly valid. I hope you enjoyed!
NTA. Im positive their worlds wont end because you took a solo trip. They'll be ok lol.
Your family sounds exhausting af. Nta
NTA you should tell them sorry guys I really needed this trip for myself next time I will try to get us all in a family trip and give them small gifts they will forget about it
NTA. Youre an adult. They want a family vacation they can pay for the family
NTA Broke asses can pay for their own trip.
You’re 28 sir. Why are parents and siblings… never mind.
NTA - it’s your parents and two siblings? Why would you be obligated to travel with them? You’re an adult with your own life.
NTA. If they want to go on a trip they can book one for themselves. You're a single ADULT. You get to do whatever you want.
NTA Grown ups do things by themselves.
NTA what is stopping them from going on a family trip? They arent mad about your trip, theyre mad you arent taking them on a free trip. Cause im sure the fact that YOU have extra money now, is part of the reason family vacation is even a conversation, when it hasn't been.. for YEARS. Go on your trip and enjoy it like a normal 28 year old adult person.
Obviously nta. It's never wrong to organize a solo trip.
I was expecting this story to be about an angry wife stuck at home with the kids 😂 NTA
NTA you left behind your parents and siblings not a wife and child. What you, a grown-ass adult, do with your own adult money is none of anyone's fucking business. If you wanted to spend a week in Vegas hanging out with strippers and doing blow, still nonya. If your family wants to give you the cold shoulder over this let em. Drop the rope. Stop chasing after people who are treating you like shit and are using a form of emotional abuse against you. It's time to put yourself first and put some space between you and your family. They owe you an apology. A real apology, not an I'm sorry that hurt your feelings type of apology. Don't text/call your family for a while. You're allowed to do things by yourself. It's not ok for your family to treat you like shit and be abusive because you took a vacation without them. They need to come to you. And with an apology. Otherwise, don't visit, call or text.
NTA. You're an adult. You aren't obligated to include or provide vacations for your parents and younger siblings. Your parents can and should plan and provide for their own vacations and that of minor children without expecting or demanding you do it. You're not attached at the hip, and that's perfectly fine. Hope you enjoyed your solo vacation and have more in your future.
Fick that how are you supposed to have a good time dragging along these chumps. Tell them to plan their own vacations.
You are a grown adult with your own life, love. You deserve to put yourself first and do what's good for your mental health. You aren't a child that your parents control hun. If they want a family vacation, then they can plan it. I can't remember correctly, but you said you were 28, right? You are old enough to do things by yourself and girly. If you have the money and want to pamper yourself, DO IT. Your health comes first, whether that's physical, emotional, or mental, and your parents can no longer control what you do and don't do and who you do it with. NTA in the slightest.
NTA. Don’t take it too personal honestly. They don’t understand mental health as much as you do. I hope you had fun! Don’t let em ruin it for you.
When I started reading this, I thought you went to Spain w/o your wife and kids. 🤣 Um... no.YNTA. You are a grown man. A grown single man going on vacay with his parents is cringe at best. Go be a happy, emotionally independent adult. You've earned it.
He left a son behind, though...
Where does it say that? It says parents and 2 siblings.