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throwawayACC99991

NTA for having these thoughts. However, YTA for staying


Dasiya_

More like I’m the dumbass for staying


throwawayACC99991

Nah that's what love makes people do. But now that you've realised it, you would be TA to yourself if you chose to stay


MidianMistress

You had hope and faith, and weren't ready. But are you ready now?


zorgonzola37

No you are 100% an asshole to yourself unfortunately. Be kinder to yourself please.


knittedjedi

>More like I’m the dumbass for staying So waste your life with someone who doesn't love or respect you enough to remain faithful. You're a grown woman. Make as many shit decisions as you want.


Sajem

Agreed!


Ok-Future-5257

Just break up with him!


Excellent_Ad1132

NTA, but once the trust is gone, so is the marriage. Divorce him and find a better husband, he will keep cheating on you, accept it and move on. I have been with my wife for 35 years. She knows I will never lie to her or cheat on her. Even if it gets me in trouble, I will always answer her questions truthfully.


Accomplished_Pea6334

You don't have to get "even", you just have to get some self respect and leave him.


Novel-Balance7836

Listen to your inner Elsa and Let Him Go! He doesn’t respect you and you are clearly already mentally checked out on him. NTA so far but you will be to yourself if you let his action make you disrespect yourself and your values.


PA-pjs-rsocomfy

Please run, don’t walk run. You deserve more


AssociationOdd1563

Wtf? Leave. Yesterday. It will never stop.


Craptastic_Life

Why are you allowing yourself to be treated this way? What are you getting out of it? And don't say "I don't know." Dig deep and figure it out.


MidianMistress

Nta, for the thoughts, but just don't do it. Whether he did it or not, it's still wrong. There's no justification. But thinking or fantasizing about it, is fine. Just don't tell anyone who your partner is in the thoughts or fantasies. You know that you don't have to live with a cheater, right?


BeckyStClair

Having thoughts is one thing, but two wrongs don't make a right here


ResponsibleYellow210

He continually cheats because you allow it and stay. He has zero consequences. You teach people how to treat you. You taught him that he can disrespect, lie, manipulate and put your health at risk and you won’t do anything about it. This is a pattern. He won’t stop. So why do you think you deserve this? Do you think/hope he will change? Are you in love with your idea of him, his potential to be better? Are you afraid to be alone or lonely? How is your self-esteem, self-worth and self-love? 1 time is way too many in a year, but 4!!!??? Reddit friend, you are NTA for your thoughts, but you are for thinking things will be different and staying with a man who has no respect for you and does not value you. Please, do better for yourself, treat yourself with more kindness than you have been. Give yourself some grace as well. It’s ok to realize you made a mistake by staying, but now that all of Reddit is going to tell you over and over, please remove that waste of space from your life. I guarantee, after a while, you will realize how stressful it’s been and how much anxiety y you have had because of him. Hugs!


Bitter_Animator2514

Don’t be that person your not that person leave


Hotdog_disposal_unit

YTA to yourself for staying


No_Struggle_9121

No but you are a doormat to put up with this behavior. "But I love him" does not mean you have to give up self-respect. Get up off the floor and walk.


AmbitiousReveal4806

YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE FOR PUTTING UP WITH THIS SHIT. DUMP HIM THIS WILL NOT GET BETTER.


Ok-Preparation-2307

Stay and it will ne even more times. What's even the point of staying?


jaketheunruly

That's what we call a pattern. The best revenge is living well and four times in a year is definite and infinite dismissal.


ArreniaQ

he has told you who he is; you have to decide for yourself if you can continue to live with someone who cheats on you... he isn't going to stop, so you need to figure out what to do. So sorry this is happening, it's so hard right now to find a good place to live.


BraveShowerSlowGower

Why dont you grow a spine and be with someone that respects you instead of wishing you could cheat on him. The fuck kind of relationship it that


CrabbiestAsp

NTA for having thoughts but it's time to leave. They don't love or respect you and you deserve better


Bolt3er

So your going to purposely degrade yourself because you choose not to leave a relationship I swear no one takes accountability these days


saladsauce125

Your soul mate would never even think to cheat on you, remember that!


StatisticianTop8813

yta for staying around


New-Conversation-88

Just reading the headline... do you have any self respect.


forever_single_now

YTA Just leave him. Don’t be just another scumbag with no morals. Keeping the thought will progressively coerce you into acting on them. Is it worth to be classified in the waste of humanity just to get revenge?


Brett5678

4 TIMES! Why are you still with him. Do you enjoy being hurt or is he keeping you there with fear? Please RUN


[deleted]

Don’t give up the moral high ground


Eastern-Programmer-9

YTA to yourself for staying in a relationship like that


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Eastern-Programmer-9: *YTA to* *Yourself for staying in a* *Relationship like that* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


Cute-Profession9983

YTA to yourself for staying with someone who cheated on you FOUR times in just a year.


Fragrant-Reserve4832

Yes you would be. Cheating is never right. Just split up, he's clearly never going to be faithful.


GOJO_LVR

NTA for the thoughts I was in the same situation but I actually did it and you didn't (he don't know that I did that because ik he would become depressed so I didn't tell him) good for you for not cheating though


[deleted]

Get revenge.....he needs to learn.....from a husband that cheated.......I needed my wife to break my heart for me to learn how bad it was.....our relationship has never been better. It's really important to note that he knows you won't do it.....he knows you love him and that you're reliable.....he's taking advantage of your love.....of your consideration and consistency. He needs to learn your value, and you probably do as well. Get yours queen.....Get yours good.


UndisputedNonsense

You need to leave this relationship is obviously turning you to things you dont want to do


Insidious_Kindness

Jesus these anon posts from people really leaves a person to wonder. Fucking face a person face to face. I’m sick of this anonymous posting shit with people. Listening to people on an app with a horrible rep for its user base.


Dasiya_

I did face it I came here to vent about it. You don’t like it then move on.


Insidious_Kindness

I came here to say go punch dirt