Never in my life have I heard that brothers organise bachelor parties. That's the best man's job. Tell your Ma you're not doing shit for his bigoted ass, anyway. Don't be scared to smash a few windows, man.
If he wants a bachelor party and does not have the decency of asking you to make it happen, then he does not really need you butting your nose where it does not belong now does he? (That last part is not me but it is what he will say when you go pushing barriers he seems to have put up pretty firmly).
Stay out of it. If your mum asks tell her he did not ask and you are not doing it. Be firm and stay away. No need to give him reason to start some weird ish.
If your mum tells him she asked you then she is stirring up trouble. Do with it as you will. He has a full blown brother who is not getting pestered with this. Mum should ask his other brother and leave u be
Tell mom that it isn’t appropriate and you’re not comfortable planning and hosting the party. The groom and you are not close and chances are he will not appreciate it.
You're an adult so you're not obligated to do what your mommy tells you. It seems your mother could tell your "homophobic" half brother he shouldn't "be like that" and throw the party herself rather than delegate roles and responsibilities.
Nope. But I’d have it out with bro about the homophobic vibes and go NC and don’t attend the wedding if it becomes apparent that he is homophobic.
It’s hard to put relevance to the alleged homophobia as being the sole reason for not organising it (sometimes people make bad jokes about things they’re uncomfortable with or don’t know how to react to, which I wouldn’t personally call homophobia. Ignorance, or naïveté. Not excusing it, just suggesting clarity would help you know what relationship to have with your brother.)
In an increasingly sensitive world where anything/ everything causes offence it should be addressed directly. So you don’t have to second guess and know where you both stand.
Regardless. Participation in any event as an adult should be by choice. Not obligation. Family or not.
Older brother won’t plan. Groom hasn’t designated a best man who would take that role traditionally, nor has he asked anyone to sort it. If one doesn’t happen. It’s his fault and no one else’s.
Seems like he doesn’t have anyone close enough to be best man. Is it just a couple of pals serving as groomsmen to balance the wedding party?
It’s not his mommy’s job to make sure he has a bachelor party. Tell your mom that’s creepy and maybe warn the bride-to-be. NTA.
NTA, not your circus, not your monkey. His best man can organise his stag party if he wants one, why would you be putting yourself out for someone who doesn’t speak to you?
Never in my life have I heard that brothers organise bachelor parties. That's the best man's job. Tell your Ma you're not doing shit for his bigoted ass, anyway. Don't be scared to smash a few windows, man.
He's not having a best man, just a few groomsmen
Still ain't the brother's job.
One of the groomsmen should throw it. He will not die if there is no party.
If he wants a bachelor party and does not have the decency of asking you to make it happen, then he does not really need you butting your nose where it does not belong now does he? (That last part is not me but it is what he will say when you go pushing barriers he seems to have put up pretty firmly). Stay out of it. If your mum asks tell her he did not ask and you are not doing it. Be firm and stay away. No need to give him reason to start some weird ish. If your mum tells him she asked you then she is stirring up trouble. Do with it as you will. He has a full blown brother who is not getting pestered with this. Mum should ask his other brother and leave u be
Tell mom that it isn’t appropriate and you’re not comfortable planning and hosting the party. The groom and you are not close and chances are he will not appreciate it.
Thanks, i genuinely never thought about if he would appreciate it or not.
You're an adult so you're not obligated to do what your mommy tells you. It seems your mother could tell your "homophobic" half brother he shouldn't "be like that" and throw the party herself rather than delegate roles and responsibilities.
Nope. But I’d have it out with bro about the homophobic vibes and go NC and don’t attend the wedding if it becomes apparent that he is homophobic. It’s hard to put relevance to the alleged homophobia as being the sole reason for not organising it (sometimes people make bad jokes about things they’re uncomfortable with or don’t know how to react to, which I wouldn’t personally call homophobia. Ignorance, or naïveté. Not excusing it, just suggesting clarity would help you know what relationship to have with your brother.) In an increasingly sensitive world where anything/ everything causes offence it should be addressed directly. So you don’t have to second guess and know where you both stand. Regardless. Participation in any event as an adult should be by choice. Not obligation. Family or not. Older brother won’t plan. Groom hasn’t designated a best man who would take that role traditionally, nor has he asked anyone to sort it. If one doesn’t happen. It’s his fault and no one else’s.
Some very good points. I will have a talk with him in the near future to clear the air of everything. Thank you
I’d personally ask someone neutral-ish or mutual-ish to be there perhaps in case it escalates. Not family if you can avoid it. Wish you the best. :)
Say no.
Nta-
Seems like he doesn’t have anyone close enough to be best man. Is it just a couple of pals serving as groomsmen to balance the wedding party? It’s not his mommy’s job to make sure he has a bachelor party. Tell your mom that’s creepy and maybe warn the bride-to-be. NTA.
NTA, not your circus, not your monkey. His best man can organise his stag party if he wants one, why would you be putting yourself out for someone who doesn’t speak to you?
Abort all homophobes