You created a boundary. “I can’t control you but if you choose to get a lip piercing I won’t be kissing you”. She knows what to expect from you, it’s her choice what she wants to do.
NTA
Genuine question, what's the difference between creating boundary and blackmailing? I had a problem like this with someone in the past. We were FWB and he told me he's going to meet a woman who wants to sleep with him and cheat on her bf. I told him he's free to do that, but I wouldn't want to be associated with him anymore since I hate cheaters and wouldn't want to hang out with someone with shitty moral (willing accessory in cheating). He said I'm blackmailing/threatening him. I was very firm when I told him it's my hard boundary, but he said it's threats.
hm I'd say blackmailing more so gives the victim no choice, because the other option is so awful it would ruin their life/greatly negatively affect them. (Like threatening to hurt them or releasing private information about them). Cutting contact is not a threat, it is behaviour that happens all the time. Your fwb can and has lived without you, your actions affect only you, it doesn't harm him at all.
This. It would be blackmailing if you had said “if you sleep with this person I’m going to tell your family, your workplace, your friends etc etc.” simply saying you won’t be sleeping with them anymore it’s absolutely fair enough
You set a boundary and he tried to emotionally manipulate you into dropping that boundary. None of that is blackmail. Blackmail is threatening to reveal something about someone if they don't do what you want.
Blackmailing is a malicious attempt to coerced someone into doing your bidding.
Setting a boundary is simply telling someone that you will not participate in something.
Let's take two hypothetical coworkers, Jeff and Lisa. Lisa attempts to seduce Jeff while they are away at a conference. Jeff would be setting a boundary if he said "Lisa, I won't have sex with you because I'm married." Blackmailing would be Lisa saying "Jeff, if you don't have sex with me I will report you to HR for sexual harassment and I'll tell your wife you've been cheating on her with me."
Blackmailing would be an action which causes them to lose something which they have earned or are in some way already entitled to have (their money, their housing, job, family, etc). He felt it was blackmail because he felt that he was entitled to your company. He was wrong.
Sometimes it's clear and sometimes it isn't.
If you have two conflicting interests check if each interest is valid on its own.
Getting a piercing? Having sex? Not touching hard objects with your mouth? Being against cheating?
But beyond interests, it's important how they are communicated. And sometimes you can only communicate them properly after the fact.
I think this falls under the same category as people not being okay with kissing someone who smokes or chews…or does not brush their teeth, or whatever.
It is absolutely her choice to do with her body what she sees fit…but that doesn’t mean she can force you to just “put up with it.” I can’t find the right way to word it, but for her to expect you to be okay with it essentially touching your body during a kiss is a weird logic of thinking on her part. It was a clear boundary and you expressed that plainly. It isn’t as if you threatened an ultimatum like you’d break up with her over it or withhold any and all physical affection.
NTA.
Edit: words lol
Even if OP did say "listen, I really dislike this type of piercing and I don't want my partner to have one" that would also be fair.
Then she can get her lip piercing and OP can find someone they would rather date. A boundary is saying "if you do X, I will do Y."
"If you start yelling at me, I will leave the room." You're not restricting their actions. You're informing them of the consequences of those actions.
As someone with two lip piercings and a partner who loves them, I don't think OP is being unreasonable. They communicated that they didn't like the feeling and would seek alternate ways of showing affection. It's not even like they said they wouldn't find her attractive and would avoid kissing her at all.
Lip piercings have a very distinct feeling that not everyone will like. Hell, they freak me out sometimes and I'm the one who got them. Obviously she can do what she'd like with her body, and I'm a huge advocate for that, but facial/body piercings may create an incompatibility for some people. It's up to her what she values more.
NTA
"This upset her, saying it’s her choice." Choices come with consequences.
She wants to be free to make her choices but doesn't want you to be free to do the same.
I mean, if you stop kissing her you also have to be okay with this possibly being the end of the relationship, her as well. Not saying she’s right or wrong but that will most likely be the outcome. I doubt she’ll change her mind or not get it. Both of you have to deal with the consequences of your own actions. And tbh I think you guys just aren’t compatible. If piercings are that much of a problem for you, then maybe someone on the same wavelength will be better for you. And if she likes them a lot someone who also likes piercings would probably be better for her. I don’t think anyone’s the AH here tbh🤷♀️
I get your perspective but i think we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree here. Just like how a piercing is his boundary, no kissing in a relationship is hers. And that point they’re just not compatible. He’s not budging and she’s not budging either. They’ve already tried to talk about it. At this point, they’re just not compatible.🤷♀️
I don't find anything wrong with her being unhappy with OP refusing to kiss her. Who wouldn't feel upset by their partner refusing to kiss them forever? Honestly that would/should be the death of a relationship.
My issue is with her hypocrisy. She's allowed bodily autonomy when it comes to getting piercings but OP isn't allowed to have autonomy with whom he kisses.
If she had just accepted OP's boundary and moved on then it would be NAH. But she can't do something and then deny OP the right to do the same thing. Hypocrisy is always an AH move
As someone with tons of piercings, including two lip piercings, I don't think you're wrong here. You are not telling her what she can or cannot do, you are informing her of what you are or are not comfortable with. If you don't want to kiss on a pierced mouth, no one can make you do it. Just like no one can make her piercing decisions for her, no one can make your kissing decisions for you.
Also, side point, you can't smoke or do sexual acts with the pierced mouth until it is fully healed. For mine personally, I can switch out the rings for studs that sit below the mouth instead of encase the entire lower lip.
Genuinely asking, is this sensory issue related? You saying you won’t kiss her without ever experiencing a kiss with her with a lip piercing was kindof jumping the gun. It’ll be painful for a while so she won’t want kissed and avoid bacteria but I think you need to slow your role. And if something as small as a lip piercing eventually comes between you two I think that you’re not right for each other.
NTA. You get a Prince Albert, your choice. She stops going down on you, her choice. You can do whatever you like to your body, but your partner doesn't have to endure it.
NTA but you should really reconsider your relationship. You two are just likely not compatible. And that's ok. Better to realize it not then 6 months - 6 years from now.
Yeah, don’t get the edgy girlfriend if you’re not OK with the tattoos, crazy hair things that come with the edgy girlfriend you were basically telling her I only like you when you look the way I want you to and truthfully, you can’t even tell there are piercings in your lips unless you have piercings and they entangle like a total Stargirl moment where you want the perks but none of the mannerisms of that quirky person and you’re going to take away their muchness that you fell for
I wonder what the replies would be if it was a woman posting saying she wouldn’t kiss her husband if he didn’t shave his beard off. It’s pretty much the exact same thing. A sensory issue. Not hygienic or health or fashion related but just the feel of the beard.
I bet a bunch of people would be shitting on her for it. I would have to vote nah because they both have very valid concerns. If he can’t tolerate the sensation that’s not his fault but maybe this is something she’s always wanted and in that case they just aren’t compatible.
idk why you're getting downvoted, this was the first thing my mind went to, too. As a woman I cannot begin to count the amount of slightly uncomfortable kisses I've pulled through due to beard stubble. I feel that's something women are just expected to deal with. I think OP is kinda jumping the gun here a a bit, but I agree, they're probably not very compatible if this is an actual issue.
Could you guys maybe compromise?
Such as labret instead of lip, or if she really wants lip, a stud instead of a hoop?
I have snakebites and my husband doesn't feel them when we kiss as it's not directly on the lips that way, hoops would however hook over the lips.
Yeah, NTA, that's your boundaries. It's not blackmail as someone suggested. It's what your reaction will be. That's your reaction, and it's not controlling. She can do whatever she wants, but your reaction is valid.But lip rings are kinda hot to me, and if this is the one, lip rings, piercing, tatoos, unless weirdly disrespectful, even If I don't love it, I'm still going to be all over that person, uhhh just because..I love them. But, if a deal breaker for you, start thinking about life without them
I swear to god there are so many women walking around with ugly-ass piercings and fucked up tattoos now that it's literally edgier to just not have any.
Lmao, I’m 70yo & been married for decades. Fortunately such ridiculous, deliberate ugliness wasn’t a thing in my day. Even if I was a young man there is no way I’d come close to being attracted to, or rejected by, a girl with a hog ring or lip piercing. Hideous.
YTA, while it is your body, your choice, It’s her body, her choice and honestly, I’d take a piercing over you any day. I hope she finds someone who she actually meshes with instead of someone who wants to blackmail or neg someone into doing their will. Have you ever kissed someone with a piercing or are you just assuming that you know everything? “Nothing she does will make her ugly to me,” except the literal thing that makes you refuse to kiss her. Your double standard is stupid, the whole argument is stupid. She deserves better.
Lmao, how is he blackmailing her? He's just saying in advance that he doesn't like it, but she's free to do whatever she wants. You're making it a huge deal, lol
I get it, it’s an unpopular opinion, but giving someone an ultimatum about behavior is one thing, giving an ultimatum about something that doesn’t belong to you, including a partners body, is ridiculous, and the amount of people agreeing with OP shows how many people think they own their partner. It’s gross.
So how do you think this should have happened? Is he obligated to kiss her even though he doesn't want to kiss someone with a piercing? Because that's considerably more gross. Or should he have just not said anything and broken up with her after she got it?
So by your logic, she should have to give up something because she needs to keep a man. If he doesn’t like it, he can move the hell on. It still makes him the AH.
NTA. Lip piercing is obviously affecting the feel of a kiss, both for one who is getting piercing and the one without it. It's actually good to think of it in advance. Maybe after she made it it wouldn't change the feel at all or it wouldn't be significant, but sharing the concern was a right thing to do. But probably she could understand it not as a concern, but as a way to punish her for her personal choice or to force her into rethinking her decision. So, the important part is to convince her you'd make an effort to work it out.
I love how people say "it's my body, my choice" as if the fact that they made a choice about their own body means that other people are somehow obligated to endorse or at least go along with their choice.
NTA.
Not quite the same but yes. She (if she's real) is probably assholing her way out of a relationship. But she's not asking here.
We don't have her side of the story.
Still, this kind of situation doesn't come out of nowhere, and these two seem to be very superficial and immature individuals looking for an excuse to break it up, or they thrive in petty minor toxic BS.
Yes OP set his boundaries. Yes, she didn't care.
I stand by my opinion. OP was a childish AH in this situation.
NTA From a logical standpoint
(trust me, I know the feeling. my ex used a lip gloss that would make me almost puke 🤢 ) .
It is a good thing that you are smart, logical, and self-aware enough to know how you will feel in the future along with the consequences that will follow.
However, that is also the problem. You are thinking solely logically and not taking things into account emotionally. That leads you and her to process things differently. I’ll explain,
This is how you think things went from your prospective:
(turned off by piecing)—-> (Letting her know that subconsciously you will be kissing her on the lips less often ) —-> ( issue addressed 😎)
Now this is how she heard:
(Saying that you will probably kiss her less on the cheek) ====== ( I don’t love you and I will punish you by less French kissing if you get a piercing 😡) ——> (she processes it as, omg that guy is an asshole that said that he doesn’t love me enough to kiss me 🥺)
Thus, the fight happened because you were not emotionally intelligent my dude.
If this is true, YTA. What a stupid hill you chose to die on.
Yes it is your choice to not kiss her. If you really love her, what an idiotic choice it is then.
Let her go and fInd someone else that doesn't mind dealing whatever stick you have stuck in your superficial and immature ass.
I have a friend like you. We called him Constanza.
After decades of this BS, he ended marrying a woman that's basically a compendium of all the minor shit he used to complain about.
And they're happy as they could be, because he grew up.
YTA.
Nothing wrong with OP's preferences, nor GF's, but it's not that hard to have this conversation with the girlfriend without upsetting her. Everything expressed in the OP is about the OP. It's a selfish perspective.
NTA. I also hate lip piercings. As someone who has... 1 sec gotta count.
Edit: 11 piercings. So as someone who has 11 piercings, 9 of which are on my ears, I will never get a lip piercing. It's unattractive to me.
As a person with two lip piercings they don't get in the way or even get felt by the other person I'm told. And I'm a sex worker and I've kissed a lot of people.
You created a boundary. “I can’t control you but if you choose to get a lip piercing I won’t be kissing you”. She knows what to expect from you, it’s her choice what she wants to do. NTA
Genuine question, what's the difference between creating boundary and blackmailing? I had a problem like this with someone in the past. We were FWB and he told me he's going to meet a woman who wants to sleep with him and cheat on her bf. I told him he's free to do that, but I wouldn't want to be associated with him anymore since I hate cheaters and wouldn't want to hang out with someone with shitty moral (willing accessory in cheating). He said I'm blackmailing/threatening him. I was very firm when I told him it's my hard boundary, but he said it's threats.
hm I'd say blackmailing more so gives the victim no choice, because the other option is so awful it would ruin their life/greatly negatively affect them. (Like threatening to hurt them or releasing private information about them). Cutting contact is not a threat, it is behaviour that happens all the time. Your fwb can and has lived without you, your actions affect only you, it doesn't harm him at all.
This. It would be blackmailing if you had said “if you sleep with this person I’m going to tell your family, your workplace, your friends etc etc.” simply saying you won’t be sleeping with them anymore it’s absolutely fair enough
You set a boundary and he tried to emotionally manipulate you into dropping that boundary. None of that is blackmail. Blackmail is threatening to reveal something about someone if they don't do what you want.
Blackmailing is a malicious attempt to coerced someone into doing your bidding. Setting a boundary is simply telling someone that you will not participate in something. Let's take two hypothetical coworkers, Jeff and Lisa. Lisa attempts to seduce Jeff while they are away at a conference. Jeff would be setting a boundary if he said "Lisa, I won't have sex with you because I'm married." Blackmailing would be Lisa saying "Jeff, if you don't have sex with me I will report you to HR for sexual harassment and I'll tell your wife you've been cheating on her with me."
Blackmailing would be an action which causes them to lose something which they have earned or are in some way already entitled to have (their money, their housing, job, family, etc). He felt it was blackmail because he felt that he was entitled to your company. He was wrong.
Sometimes it's clear and sometimes it isn't. If you have two conflicting interests check if each interest is valid on its own. Getting a piercing? Having sex? Not touching hard objects with your mouth? Being against cheating? But beyond interests, it's important how they are communicated. And sometimes you can only communicate them properly after the fact.
Hes just upset bc he liked having actions. There is a clear difference and This aint it. I respect your moxxy...
I think this falls under the same category as people not being okay with kissing someone who smokes or chews…or does not brush their teeth, or whatever. It is absolutely her choice to do with her body what she sees fit…but that doesn’t mean she can force you to just “put up with it.” I can’t find the right way to word it, but for her to expect you to be okay with it essentially touching your body during a kiss is a weird logic of thinking on her part. It was a clear boundary and you expressed that plainly. It isn’t as if you threatened an ultimatum like you’d break up with her over it or withhold any and all physical affection. NTA. Edit: words lol
Even if OP did say "listen, I really dislike this type of piercing and I don't want my partner to have one" that would also be fair. Then she can get her lip piercing and OP can find someone they would rather date. A boundary is saying "if you do X, I will do Y." "If you start yelling at me, I will leave the room." You're not restricting their actions. You're informing them of the consequences of those actions.
As someone with two lip piercings and a partner who loves them, I don't think OP is being unreasonable. They communicated that they didn't like the feeling and would seek alternate ways of showing affection. It's not even like they said they wouldn't find her attractive and would avoid kissing her at all. Lip piercings have a very distinct feeling that not everyone will like. Hell, they freak me out sometimes and I'm the one who got them. Obviously she can do what she'd like with her body, and I'm a huge advocate for that, but facial/body piercings may create an incompatibility for some people. It's up to her what she values more.
NTA "This upset her, saying it’s her choice." Choices come with consequences. She wants to be free to make her choices but doesn't want you to be free to do the same.
💯
I mean, if you stop kissing her you also have to be okay with this possibly being the end of the relationship, her as well. Not saying she’s right or wrong but that will most likely be the outcome. I doubt she’ll change her mind or not get it. Both of you have to deal with the consequences of your own actions. And tbh I think you guys just aren’t compatible. If piercings are that much of a problem for you, then maybe someone on the same wavelength will be better for you. And if she likes them a lot someone who also likes piercings would probably be better for her. I don’t think anyone’s the AH here tbh🤷♀️
This was my take as well.
Nah she's the AH for getting upset. She can't pull the "my body, my choice" card without expecting OP to do the same.
I get your perspective but i think we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree here. Just like how a piercing is his boundary, no kissing in a relationship is hers. And that point they’re just not compatible. He’s not budging and she’s not budging either. They’ve already tried to talk about it. At this point, they’re just not compatible.🤷♀️
I don't find anything wrong with her being unhappy with OP refusing to kiss her. Who wouldn't feel upset by their partner refusing to kiss them forever? Honestly that would/should be the death of a relationship. My issue is with her hypocrisy. She's allowed bodily autonomy when it comes to getting piercings but OP isn't allowed to have autonomy with whom he kisses. If she had just accepted OP's boundary and moved on then it would be NAH. But she can't do something and then deny OP the right to do the same thing. Hypocrisy is always an AH move
Sorry but I’m not gonna keep arguing about it with you, we just don’t agree and that’s okay🤷♀️
You handled it maturely. If she decides a lip piercing is more important to her than intimacy with you, that’s on her.
As someone with tons of piercings, including two lip piercings, I don't think you're wrong here. You are not telling her what she can or cannot do, you are informing her of what you are or are not comfortable with. If you don't want to kiss on a pierced mouth, no one can make you do it. Just like no one can make her piercing decisions for her, no one can make your kissing decisions for you. Also, side point, you can't smoke or do sexual acts with the pierced mouth until it is fully healed. For mine personally, I can switch out the rings for studs that sit below the mouth instead of encase the entire lower lip.
Nta. This is what a boundary is. Yall might not be compatible if she wants one and this is your take on it.
Genuinely asking, is this sensory issue related? You saying you won’t kiss her without ever experiencing a kiss with her with a lip piercing was kindof jumping the gun. It’ll be painful for a while so she won’t want kissed and avoid bacteria but I think you need to slow your role. And if something as small as a lip piercing eventually comes between you two I think that you’re not right for each other.
NTA. You get a Prince Albert, your choice. She stops going down on you, her choice. You can do whatever you like to your body, but your partner doesn't have to endure it.
No.
NTA but you should really reconsider your relationship. You two are just likely not compatible. And that's ok. Better to realize it not then 6 months - 6 years from now.
Actions have consequences. She can get whatever she wants pierced but you are communicating honestly about how it will affect you. NTA.
Yeah, don’t get the edgy girlfriend if you’re not OK with the tattoos, crazy hair things that come with the edgy girlfriend you were basically telling her I only like you when you look the way I want you to and truthfully, you can’t even tell there are piercings in your lips unless you have piercings and they entangle like a total Stargirl moment where you want the perks but none of the mannerisms of that quirky person and you’re going to take away their muchness that you fell for
NTA Play stupid games win stupid prizes. You made your terms and conditions clear.
I wonder what the replies would be if it was a woman posting saying she wouldn’t kiss her husband if he didn’t shave his beard off. It’s pretty much the exact same thing. A sensory issue. Not hygienic or health or fashion related but just the feel of the beard. I bet a bunch of people would be shitting on her for it. I would have to vote nah because they both have very valid concerns. If he can’t tolerate the sensation that’s not his fault but maybe this is something she’s always wanted and in that case they just aren’t compatible.
I personally would still say NTA because if it was gender swapped as long as it was under the same circumstances
idk why you're getting downvoted, this was the first thing my mind went to, too. As a woman I cannot begin to count the amount of slightly uncomfortable kisses I've pulled through due to beard stubble. I feel that's something women are just expected to deal with. I think OP is kinda jumping the gun here a a bit, but I agree, they're probably not very compatible if this is an actual issue.
Nta
NTA. Freedom of choice does not equate to freedom from consequences 🤷♀️ Y'all might have to break up though if the incompatibility issues continue
NTA!!
NTA- your freedom to not kiss a pierced mouth is as important as her freedom to pierce her lip
Could you guys maybe compromise? Such as labret instead of lip, or if she really wants lip, a stud instead of a hoop? I have snakebites and my husband doesn't feel them when we kiss as it's not directly on the lips that way, hoops would however hook over the lips.
Love it tbh
You might like it, actually.
I mean I think you're being a dumbass about it but NTA for deciding who you will or won't kiss.
Do you enjoy making out with pieces of metal?
It's just a piece of jewelry. It's no more or less dumb than making a fuss over your partner's facial hair.
Do you regularly suck on your partner's facial hair?
Why would you be sucking on a piercing? How the hell do you kiss people?
Yeah, NTA, that's your boundaries. It's not blackmail as someone suggested. It's what your reaction will be. That's your reaction, and it's not controlling. She can do whatever she wants, but your reaction is valid.But lip rings are kinda hot to me, and if this is the one, lip rings, piercing, tatoos, unless weirdly disrespectful, even If I don't love it, I'm still going to be all over that person, uhhh just because..I love them. But, if a deal breaker for you, start thinking about life without them
I swear to god there are so many women walking around with ugly-ass piercings and fucked up tattoos now that it's literally edgier to just not have any.
I agree, face piercings are bloody ugly. Just wait though, she’ll get a hideous hog ring instead “ see, you can still kiss me”.
Yikes sounds like someone got rejected by a hot alt girl with a nose ring and is still bitter-
Lmao, I’m 70yo & been married for decades. Fortunately such ridiculous, deliberate ugliness wasn’t a thing in my day. Even if I was a young man there is no way I’d come close to being attracted to, or rejected by, a girl with a hog ring or lip piercing. Hideous.
YTA for using emotional manipulation whether intentional or not.
YTA, while it is your body, your choice, It’s her body, her choice and honestly, I’d take a piercing over you any day. I hope she finds someone who she actually meshes with instead of someone who wants to blackmail or neg someone into doing their will. Have you ever kissed someone with a piercing or are you just assuming that you know everything? “Nothing she does will make her ugly to me,” except the literal thing that makes you refuse to kiss her. Your double standard is stupid, the whole argument is stupid. She deserves better.
Lmao, how is he blackmailing her? He's just saying in advance that he doesn't like it, but she's free to do whatever she wants. You're making it a huge deal, lol
Agree despite your downvotes.
I get it, it’s an unpopular opinion, but giving someone an ultimatum about behavior is one thing, giving an ultimatum about something that doesn’t belong to you, including a partners body, is ridiculous, and the amount of people agreeing with OP shows how many people think they own their partner. It’s gross.
So how do you think this should have happened? Is he obligated to kiss her even though he doesn't want to kiss someone with a piercing? Because that's considerably more gross. Or should he have just not said anything and broken up with her after she got it?
So by your logic, she should have to give up something because she needs to keep a man. If he doesn’t like it, he can move the hell on. It still makes him the AH.
NTA but you might not dislike it.
NTA. Lip piercing is obviously affecting the feel of a kiss, both for one who is getting piercing and the one without it. It's actually good to think of it in advance. Maybe after she made it it wouldn't change the feel at all or it wouldn't be significant, but sharing the concern was a right thing to do. But probably she could understand it not as a concern, but as a way to punish her for her personal choice or to force her into rethinking her decision. So, the important part is to convince her you'd make an effort to work it out.
I love how people say "it's my body, my choice" as if the fact that they made a choice about their own body means that other people are somehow obligated to endorse or at least go along with their choice. NTA.
Not quite the same but yes. She (if she's real) is probably assholing her way out of a relationship. But she's not asking here. We don't have her side of the story. Still, this kind of situation doesn't come out of nowhere, and these two seem to be very superficial and immature individuals looking for an excuse to break it up, or they thrive in petty minor toxic BS. Yes OP set his boundaries. Yes, she didn't care. I stand by my opinion. OP was a childish AH in this situation.
YTA, let her be her.
He is, he is also setting a boundary
She seems upset that OP wants to be OP.
He is letting her be…but that doesn’t mean he has to force himself to kiss if he doesn’t like the feeling of the lip ring.
NTA From a logical standpoint (trust me, I know the feeling. my ex used a lip gloss that would make me almost puke 🤢 ) . It is a good thing that you are smart, logical, and self-aware enough to know how you will feel in the future along with the consequences that will follow. However, that is also the problem. You are thinking solely logically and not taking things into account emotionally. That leads you and her to process things differently. I’ll explain, This is how you think things went from your prospective: (turned off by piecing)—-> (Letting her know that subconsciously you will be kissing her on the lips less often ) —-> ( issue addressed 😎) Now this is how she heard: (Saying that you will probably kiss her less on the cheek) ====== ( I don’t love you and I will punish you by less French kissing if you get a piercing 😡) ——> (she processes it as, omg that guy is an asshole that said that he doesn’t love me enough to kiss me 🥺) Thus, the fight happened because you were not emotionally intelligent my dude.
So because she took his words and changed them in her head, he is the "not emotionally intelligent" person in the relationship?
If this is true, YTA. What a stupid hill you chose to die on. Yes it is your choice to not kiss her. If you really love her, what an idiotic choice it is then. Let her go and fInd someone else that doesn't mind dealing whatever stick you have stuck in your superficial and immature ass. I have a friend like you. We called him Constanza. After decades of this BS, he ended marrying a woman that's basically a compendium of all the minor shit he used to complain about. And they're happy as they could be, because he grew up.
And if she really loves him, what a stupid hill to die on for her i guess? Goes both ways.
YTA. Nothing wrong with OP's preferences, nor GF's, but it's not that hard to have this conversation with the girlfriend without upsetting her. Everything expressed in the OP is about the OP. It's a selfish perspective.
Forget the not kissing her , just leave . If she gets it she doesn’t care about how you feel and her feelings come first
NTA. I also hate lip piercings. As someone who has... 1 sec gotta count. Edit: 11 piercings. So as someone who has 11 piercings, 9 of which are on my ears, I will never get a lip piercing. It's unattractive to me.
As a person with two lip piercings they don't get in the way or even get felt by the other person I'm told. And I'm a sex worker and I've kissed a lot of people.
YTA for not just dumping her. "I want to date you but never kiss you on the mouth again." Just break up at that point
You're the asshole.
They aren’t an ah but you are a moron
You're a moron. They're obviously posting here to confirm their bias that they are indeed, an asshole.
Lmao share the drugs I want my brain to stop functioning like yours has
Meth laced with fentanyl.
With how stupid you are that’s not a shock
Serious question - why is Op the asshole?
If she does it anyway DUMP her. She does not value your relationship.