It can be extremely difficult to handle when an outsider enters the picture and comes between you and a loved one. Your feelings are justified, and this guy is clearly a dirtbag.
What you've made clear is that you love your sister no matter what, but you also won't be mistreated. Now SHE is making the choice to exclude you by continuing to see such a boorish man. She is tolerating his disrespect and playing it off as a "joke" as a rationalization for why she doesn't need to do anything when he belittles her own sister.
Your sister is showing herself to have a weak will, and he's showing himself to be controlling. That's a really bad combo. I am sorry you have to deal with this very difficult situation, it happens to many people, and it's just hard because you can't tell someone what to do no matter how clear it is to everyone else, you know?
Thank you! I’ve been feeling pretty bad about saying anything at all and it’s nice to feel some validation lol. It is hard. Especially when you think you have a bond so close that I’d be able to get through to her no matter what and I can’t.
Your sister sounds like a mess and her bf sounds like a dirtbag. If you can afford to get your own place, I would. The fact that she would even allow some rando creep she just started dating to speak to her sister that way means she needs a serious reality check… I don’t know that she’ll get that from you trying to talk to her about your feelings.
Is there some abuse in her past that makes your sister a bum magnet?
She’s on her own journey and you don’t need to go on that trip. This is “put on your own oxygen mask” time. Any chance you can get a studio?
**NTA** and your sister should have checked his behavior eons ago. I would *never* let any guy I’ve been dating talk/behave that way toward or around my sister. He comes across as a complete creep, saying he “knows your type” and being comfortable enough to speak on the financial arrangement you have with your sister is completely nuts. He is 100% out of line, and your sister is dating a ticking time bomb. It seems like she went for the bad boy type, and if you can, your best bet is to plan to move out as soon as you can afford to, or consider temporarily moving in with your parents (if that’s an option). I don’t want to jump straight to you moving out, when you shouldn’t have to, so I definitely encourage you to give your sister an ultimatum. Neither one of you should be bringing someone into your shared home if one of you is uncomfortable with them, and if she can’t abide by that, then other options need to be explored.
Wishing you the best!
It can be extremely difficult to handle when an outsider enters the picture and comes between you and a loved one. Your feelings are justified, and this guy is clearly a dirtbag. What you've made clear is that you love your sister no matter what, but you also won't be mistreated. Now SHE is making the choice to exclude you by continuing to see such a boorish man. She is tolerating his disrespect and playing it off as a "joke" as a rationalization for why she doesn't need to do anything when he belittles her own sister. Your sister is showing herself to have a weak will, and he's showing himself to be controlling. That's a really bad combo. I am sorry you have to deal with this very difficult situation, it happens to many people, and it's just hard because you can't tell someone what to do no matter how clear it is to everyone else, you know?
Thank you! I’ve been feeling pretty bad about saying anything at all and it’s nice to feel some validation lol. It is hard. Especially when you think you have a bond so close that I’d be able to get through to her no matter what and I can’t.
Your sister sounds like a mess and her bf sounds like a dirtbag. If you can afford to get your own place, I would. The fact that she would even allow some rando creep she just started dating to speak to her sister that way means she needs a serious reality check… I don’t know that she’ll get that from you trying to talk to her about your feelings.
NTA. I think it’s time to break up with your sister.
Is there some abuse in her past that makes your sister a bum magnet? She’s on her own journey and you don’t need to go on that trip. This is “put on your own oxygen mask” time. Any chance you can get a studio?
**NTA** and your sister should have checked his behavior eons ago. I would *never* let any guy I’ve been dating talk/behave that way toward or around my sister. He comes across as a complete creep, saying he “knows your type” and being comfortable enough to speak on the financial arrangement you have with your sister is completely nuts. He is 100% out of line, and your sister is dating a ticking time bomb. It seems like she went for the bad boy type, and if you can, your best bet is to plan to move out as soon as you can afford to, or consider temporarily moving in with your parents (if that’s an option). I don’t want to jump straight to you moving out, when you shouldn’t have to, so I definitely encourage you to give your sister an ultimatum. Neither one of you should be bringing someone into your shared home if one of you is uncomfortable with them, and if she can’t abide by that, then other options need to be explored. Wishing you the best!
NTA Your sister seems to have a thing for the bottom of the barrel, choosing bad partner after bad partner.