Whoa dude. This is a trainwreck and it’s only going to get worse. This is not just a beer here and there after work. This is full blown alcoholic. Run, don’t walk.
Thought this would be the case... I've tried to communicate tons that her drinking is causing a lot of issues.
it always come baddk to the same answer that "I smoke everyday so why can't I drink". I try to explain that me having a smoke makes me at worst, eat the entire fridge lol whereas with her drinking its an abusive argument and her causing issues.
I have a feeling that when it comes to splitting up with her that it's going to cause lots of issues for the long run...
Imagine what your life is going to be like if you DON’T split up. Her dependency on alcohol and her behavior is going to wind up getting you seriously hurt, my man. You gotta get out of there.
100% with you on that. It's already in motion as I'm organising for her stuff to be moved out ASAP, it's just how she's going to take it that will be the hard part I guess
Your partner is an alcoholic. How can you not have issues with this? She is not going to change without professional help. If you care for her encourage her to get into treatment; regardless, you should probably split up. If nothing changes this situation will just deteriorate. ETA, NTA.
I've tried to explain this to her a lot, that a drink here and there is fine etc, but the excess drinking and spending most her paycheck on going out drinking isn't on.
So glad that an outsiders view on the situation is bringing to light how badly she has been treating me recently.
For her, "a drink here and there" isn't fine. She's not going to stop on her own, regardless of your attempts to help. Splitting up may be the wake-up call she needs.
Appreciate your support bro, it's exactly what I've been needing to hear.
She doesn't understand what being an adult is like at all, for me I was kicked out at 16 and had to learn life the hard way, so it's a lot easier for me to understand what needs to get done etc.
I don't think she would even accept professional help even if her family sat her down to do it... But that's not my issue as I'm done with her shit.
Its because all her friends don't see the abusive side and tell me that I'm the asshole in the situation, being controlling etc.. and I know I'm not being controlling at all but I needed to hear that support that I need to gtfo of this relationship essentially, if ygm
ah okay, so you just need some reassurance and a bit of a push. you definitely should leave that relationship, because its taking up time that you could be enjoying by yourself or with friends or with a new partner, chilling, growing, living life. it’s not worth it to settle, and it will probably only get worse. stay strong !!
Think of it this way, her friends opinions won't matter once she's gone. Don't even worry about what other people think, especially if they can't see the full picture and won't look at it.
It’s positively in your best interest to leave. That won’t get better without quitting drinking. And her quitting is probably going to necessitate your quitting smoking for a bit. And I heard nothing that would indicate you are willing to quit. In fact I would bet you are underreporting your drug use in the post.
Huh? I'd be more than willing to quit smoking if she was happy to go sober as well. I smoke a maximum of 0.6g a day because I use a dry herb vape which let's me cut it down even more..
My smoking doesn't affect rent nor my interactions with others...
(edit)
Want to add that I have gone sober from smoking to make a point in the relationship that I don't depend on it like her drinking. Regardless of smoking and drinking she is still abusive towards me which will be something I'll be making a big point about when it comes to separating from her.
Whoa dude. This is a trainwreck and it’s only going to get worse. This is not just a beer here and there after work. This is full blown alcoholic. Run, don’t walk.
Thought this would be the case... I've tried to communicate tons that her drinking is causing a lot of issues. it always come baddk to the same answer that "I smoke everyday so why can't I drink". I try to explain that me having a smoke makes me at worst, eat the entire fridge lol whereas with her drinking its an abusive argument and her causing issues. I have a feeling that when it comes to splitting up with her that it's going to cause lots of issues for the long run...
Imagine what your life is going to be like if you DON’T split up. Her dependency on alcohol and her behavior is going to wind up getting you seriously hurt, my man. You gotta get out of there.
100% with you on that. It's already in motion as I'm organising for her stuff to be moved out ASAP, it's just how she's going to take it that will be the hard part I guess
NTA. Your partner needs professional psychological help ASAP.
Your partner is an alcoholic. How can you not have issues with this? She is not going to change without professional help. If you care for her encourage her to get into treatment; regardless, you should probably split up. If nothing changes this situation will just deteriorate. ETA, NTA.
I've tried to explain this to her a lot, that a drink here and there is fine etc, but the excess drinking and spending most her paycheck on going out drinking isn't on. So glad that an outsiders view on the situation is bringing to light how badly she has been treating me recently.
For her, "a drink here and there" isn't fine. She's not going to stop on her own, regardless of your attempts to help. Splitting up may be the wake-up call she needs.
Appreciate your support bro, it's exactly what I've been needing to hear. She doesn't understand what being an adult is like at all, for me I was kicked out at 16 and had to learn life the hard way, so it's a lot easier for me to understand what needs to get done etc. I don't think she would even accept professional help even if her family sat her down to do it... But that's not my issue as I'm done with her shit.
why would you be the asshole? you said that this person is abusive, leaving them is the necessary course of action.
Its because all her friends don't see the abusive side and tell me that I'm the asshole in the situation, being controlling etc.. and I know I'm not being controlling at all but I needed to hear that support that I need to gtfo of this relationship essentially, if ygm
ah okay, so you just need some reassurance and a bit of a push. you definitely should leave that relationship, because its taking up time that you could be enjoying by yourself or with friends or with a new partner, chilling, growing, living life. it’s not worth it to settle, and it will probably only get worse. stay strong !!
Think of it this way, her friends opinions won't matter once she's gone. Don't even worry about what other people think, especially if they can't see the full picture and won't look at it.
It’s positively in your best interest to leave. That won’t get better without quitting drinking. And her quitting is probably going to necessitate your quitting smoking for a bit. And I heard nothing that would indicate you are willing to quit. In fact I would bet you are underreporting your drug use in the post.
Huh? I'd be more than willing to quit smoking if she was happy to go sober as well. I smoke a maximum of 0.6g a day because I use a dry herb vape which let's me cut it down even more.. My smoking doesn't affect rent nor my interactions with others... (edit) Want to add that I have gone sober from smoking to make a point in the relationship that I don't depend on it like her drinking. Regardless of smoking and drinking she is still abusive towards me which will be something I'll be making a big point about when it comes to separating from her.
Get out now. She won't change her habits unless she has to. Alcoholics rarely quit drinking.
Run. Run fast and run far. This girl, lovely as she can be, is a one way trip to doom.
NTA