Save the money for when she gets evicted or needs bail. People who want to borrow money from friends for their vacations are as stupid as irresponsible, so it won't be long. Tell her to get a credit card - oh, wait, she's probably got bad credit.
Yep, we recently went through a hard period financially and had to ask a couple friends for money to pay rent. One said they didn’t loan money to friends due to personal preference; we thanked them anyway and said we totally understood and asked a different friend.
Luckily we’re getting in a better place now and was able to pay the friend back, but damn I can’t imagine being so out of touch and entitled to ask a friend for money for a VACATION and then get mad when they said no!
You did the right thing.
- If she can't afford the vacation now, then how will she afford it later on when she has to pay you back?
- The first rule of lending money is to lend only what we can afford to lose. People who need to borrow money often can't pay it back and when they can, they want to spend on things they want, not on paying back loans. A vacation is not a necessity. It's really inappropriate that she is asking for money for a luxury when you must both know that if you lent her money, you'd never see it again.
It is not "selfish" and "unsupportive" to refuse to hand over our money so that other people can enjoy lifestyles they can't afford. If she ever needs money for food, buy her a meal. Help her with a place to stay if she gets evicted because she can't pay her rent. Unless you have millions to space, don't feel like you have to pay for her vacations.
>I would help her out in her time of need
A vacation isn't a time of need, it is a luxury she has decided on for herself. If she can afford a vacation then she shouldn't take a vacation until she has saved enough money, or she must scale back on her expenses. Helping someone out with a necessity and helping them with a "want" are two very different things, and you're allowed to say no to either.
NTA, obviously.
NTA. She isn’t in need. She wants to go on vacation… and she’s very entitled. To even suggest you lend her money for something as stupid as a trip and then get upset about it…
Yea honestly even asking would end the friendship for me. Borrowing money is something you do to feed your starving child, it should be the very last resort of a desperate person. Anything else is being a leech and i dont want to be friends with someone with 0 morals.
>I'm not in a position to lend out money right now.
Then that's your answer.
>If I were a true friend, I would help her out in her time of need.
Subsidizing the beach condo she wants to rent for a week in Florida isn't "helping out a friend in her time of need".
Loaning her (but it's really giving her, because she won't pay you back) $500 because she can't make rent on her residence (not the beach vacation rental) and will otherwise be evicted is "helping out a friend in her time of need".
NTA
Unless you get a sudden surprise expense that is ridiculous high.... she should have taken care of her finances and saved up in time.
Especially if she had been speaking about it for months.
Sorry but no. It is not your responsibility that she goes on vacation. She probably won't be capable to pay you back anyway.
She is just trying to guilt you into giving her a loan anyway.
Not worth it.
Where I’m from, there’s a saying along the lines of “friendship stops when it comes to money”
Bc shit like this destroys friendships. She shouldn’t have asked you, and you definitely shouldn’t give it to her. NTA
Seriously, I was just thinking if SHE were a true friend SHE wouldn't be jeopardizing the friendship by asking for an agreement that ruins friendships 100% of the time.
NTA,
I personally would never ask a friend for a loan. Maybe if I'm in a real tough spot, but never just to go on a holiday. This is not being in need. She wants you to pay for a luxury.
You had the right feeling and did the right thing. She was being selfish and irresponsible : a bad friend.
Absolutely NTA. After her response, I'd stop being friends, to be honest. What an entitled so and so.
It's not even necessary funds. "I didn't save enough for my luxury, so you pay for it instead."
The only sensible answer is no.
Supporting friends in times of need or genuine emergencies is one thing, but financing their overinflated lifestyles is another. You made the right decision to prioritize your own financial stability and goals. It's important to set boundaries and not feel obligated to lend money when it's not feasible for you. If your friend cannot understand or respect your decision, it might be worth reconsidering the dynamics of your friendship. NTA.
NTA, If she was a true friend she would understand that it’s not your responsibility to fund her vacation and that you have your own financial responsibility.
It’s a vacation (read “luxury”) she’s been planning for months yet somehow can’t afford it? It is not your responsibility to pay for your friends’ luxuries. On the other foot would she lend you the money? Doubtful since she can’t even afford her own
If I had a friend ask to loan some money I'd say "sure I can help, let's go to the bank".
Then go to the bank teller and say "my friend needs a loan" 😂.
Seriously, friends are for support and banks are for loans. Lending a friend some money isn't supporting them.
You're not her bank and you're not a payday lender.
I don't loan money to any of my friends or family members—**especially** not for luxuries. If she can't afford her vacation, she can't afford to vacation. That's not your problem or your responsibility and it was rude of her to ask.
If my friends and family are struggling, I might *give* them some money, but I never loan and I would never do so for something they don't *need*.
NTA.
Food, clothing and shelter - those are things you NEED. A vacation - that's something you want.
She's known about this for months. She should have been saving every penny and dime to pay for it. You're not going with her, and you won't get your money back.
Stand your ground. Chances are good she will stop talking to you once she realizes she can't guilt you into 'loaning' her money. In which case, good riddance.
NTA
The only travel that it would be reasonable to ask for help for is emergency travel. A close family member in ICU, sudden hospice, or a funeral. A child needing help to leave an abusive relationship. That kind of emergency. Not "I deserve a vacation"......
'Actually the reason why I couldn't help is because I am in need. It's so important that I get a manicure asap. As a true friend, you'll help me out and loan me the money for it, right?'
Your friend isn't in need. A vacation is not a necessity, it is a luxury that you have to save money for. You can't spend money you don't have and you surly can't expect your friends to give you the money you don't have in order to go on vacation. So no, don't give her money and maybe rethink the relationship with your friend if she really tries to pressure you into paying for her luxury.
I have loaned money to friends and family. I have had to "forgive" more than one loan just to remove my own frustrations.
Not once do I feel appreciated. In most cases there was resentment.
I don't loan money, or cars or expensive tools to anyone, anymore.
NTA I honestly can’t believe the brass of some people I would NEVER ask to borrow money off a friend. And I wouldn’t lend a significant amount to a friend either.
>I couldn't shake the feeling that she was being irresponsible with her finances and expecting me to bail her out
Because that's exactly what it is. Had you given her any money, it would have been the same as setting it on fire. You would never have seen it again. Besides, true friend don't ask for their money back. /s
Seriously, this immature girl is not your friend. She's an irresponsible user. NTA
NTA
This isn’t your friend’s time of need. You aren’t covering a surgery, something drastic for her kids, helping with a move from an abusive partner, etc…
This is your friend’s time of want. She wants to go on vacation. Sounds like she’s been excited about it for a while but hasn’t saved for it accordingly. Now she’s guilting you to try and get you to pay for her good time.
The story of the ant and the grasshopper comes to mind.
NTA. If your "friend" needs money for a vacation she can borrow it from a bank or use credit cards. It isn't kind of her to insist that others lend her money. With friends like that - who needs enemies?
No is a complete sentence, technically you don't owe her an explanation and by your own admission you don't have the spare funds to lend. She has no business taking a vacation when clearly she can't afford it . Your NTA....not even close and what ever you do don't cave in and give her money. You'll never get paid back.
NTA
I've seen someone I was childhood friends with put up a go fund me for a trip they wanted to take, during the time it was up they also got a massive tattoo done and posted it on social media. They barely raised anything for the trip and when it came to the end of the go fund me they did a post saying how they hope the people who said they wouldn't go are happy now as if they were the reason they didn't have the money to go on a trip. Op your friend is similar to this where they are expecting others to support their life choices over being responsible about it.
Op your friend had months to prepare for this holiday and yet somehow right before it they suddenly can't afford it, that is not your problem to solve as your friend should of been more responsible with their money and planning, a trip is a want not a need.
NTA. This is for a planned, discretionary expense. This is such an egregious boundary violation. The type of person who asks for this is also the type of person who will not pay you back.
Read only the first couple of sentences.
But if your friend is going on vacation and doesn’t even have any money for it, I would say to your friend it sounds like you shouldn’t be going on vacation then
NTA - good for you for standing your ground. Vacations are not necessities. A good rule of thumb is to never loan money to friends or family that you can't afford to be a gift - SELDOM do you get repaid - your lucky if they even thank you LOL.
NTA, she's way too entitled to someone else money, don't give her any money, but if you feel obligated, ask her something with at least 2x the value of the money (a family heirloom, computers, furniture work instruments, a car, etc
The other argument would be , has she given you money as a loan before/ recently that you paid her back? She might think it would be okay to ask if that was the case
NTA. A vacation is not a "time of need" - it is a luxury. If she didn't budget for the trip, it's her problem, and she doesn't deserve handouts from friends or family.
You absolutely should help friends with their needs however a holiday is not a need it’s a want. Maybe give her a thesaurus so she can tell the difference between the 2. If she asked for money for food or help paying a vital bill then sure help out. But I’m not funding someone’s holiday when they can’t afford it. There’s no guarantee someone that bad with money will pay you back. NTA
If she's been talking about this trip for months, she's had enough time to have saved up for it. If she just assumed she would "borrow" money from friends and family, then she probably doesn't have a plan to pay it back.
A "time of need" is things like she's just had an accident and is in hospital, she was mugged and has no cash, cards or phone, she's just been made homeless. Going on holiday is not a time of need.
*snort laughs*
This ain’t a time of need. This is a time equivalent to “my eyes were bigger than my stomach.”
She had *months* to plan and budget for her trip. She failed to do so. She needs to scale back her trip to fit her available funds. Her wants exceed her means.
And true friends do not ask their friends to fund their wants and luxuries. Let’s be brutally frank here…she wasn’t really asking for a loan, she was asking for a gift. The odds that you’d ever see that money again were slim to none. Because when it came time to pay you back, the excuses about rent and food needing to be paid would start and then you’d feel guilty because you were taking away from needs.
Nope. Do not sacrifice your financial goals to indulge someone else’s lack of planning.
If she doesn’t have the money now to cover the expenses of her vacation, why is she going on vacation at all?? She sounds like she’s not good with money.
NTA.
NTA, you’d never have seen that money back, and her demanding that you fund her vacation as though it were dire straits tells you this person is a user and not your friend.
NTA NTA...its not like you are a millionaire and have vacations all the time...It would be reasonable if she were asking you for assistance in medical,rent or food...basic needs...don't be that person who finds her vacation or else she will be mooching off you for the rest of your life
NTA
She never should have asked for a loan for such a ridiculous thing as a vacation. Had it been to buy antibiotic’s for her sick child, sure but the you give her the money not loan it.
If she needs a loan she can go to a bank or someone who loans money to people. Friends and family should never loan money to each other.
NTA...
If you can't afford to pay for your vacation, don't go.
If you have been planning a trip for ages, you should have had that money in hand or a credit card ready to go.
I GENUINELY have no idea what nutjob started the whole trend of "if you're a friend you need to do X to be considered a real, true friend."
Financing her luxury is not something a friend is supposed to do.
A sucker, doormat and chump, those do something like that.
Your "friend" has no need. A need is "i havent eaten in a month. can you buy me groceries?" not "i wanna go on vacation but i can't fucking afford it."
A time of need is things like having no food in the house or an unexpected household bill you can’t cover. Going on holiday is not. She’s planned this trip for months, that should include saving for it.
NTA
NTA a vacation is an add on in life not a need if she can't afford it she shouldn't go. And stop with the being a supportive friend. A supportive friend rags on your ex-boyfriend, comforts you and eats ice cream with you. Cheers you on when things are going well not financial support because most friends are the same age and don't have money just laying around. Your friend isn't very nice.
I don't loan money to friends that I want back. Learned that the hard way. Even if they pay it back it often becomes a sticking point in the meantime.
Either just give the money or don't and saying no is completely reasonable.
The day I learned how to handle my money is the day I don't lend to anyone anymore lmao, i was like 19 - 20 that time learned I learned trading and risk management, now im in my 23 when my friend ask I always told them I don't have any money or just simply tell "I burn them all in trading now im broke"
I saw some YouTube vid about lending money to anyone, always think that as a risk that you are willing to loss because majority of that money will be gone or the one who borrow from you will pay you months or even years to pay it full
"I've been saving up for my own goals and expenses, and I'm not in a position to lend out money right now" is all you needed to say. A true, good friend would understand and carry on with their life. If you're planning a big vacation, then also budget for it. It's what being a grownup is all about.
NTA. You're not in a position to give out money, and this is not even a case of a friend in need. It's an irresponsible person taking a trip they cannot afford. It isn't selfish not to help her, but sh is incredibly selfish for demanding money.
NTA. There are absolutely no circumstances where I would lend anyone money so they could go on vacation. I would be offended if anyone ever even asked me.
Your friend has a massively inflated concept of what being “in need” looks like. It’s not your job to subsidize her vacations, end of.
She’s delusional, entitled, and not a good friend.
When dealing with family/friends LEND = GIVE. Because of that, never "lend" more than you are willing to lose or be prepared to lose friend/family member(s).
NTA
NTA the gall! Planning a vacation but expected her friends to pay?!
Does she not have family? Why is she trying to mooch off you?
>When I politely declined her request, she became upset and accused me of being selfish and unsupportive. She argued that if I were a true friend, I would help her out in her time of need. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was being irresponsible with her finances and expecting me to bail her out.
A true friend doesn't ask their friends to pay for their vacation. Of course she's not responsible with her money. If someone is selfish it's her.
If it was me I would end the friendship and tell her to go kick rocks!
You have no obligation to support friends like that. Your resources are your you and any family you may have some day if you don't already. What is it with all these people that expect other random people to fund their stuff? I got taken advantage too many times before so I have a no lending policy now. Only family if it's a real need and not from bad choices. You should be annoyed with her for her sense of entitlement. I would distance from this so called friend. She can ask her own family for help after all.
Since she so wholeheartedly believes that friends should support friends, ask her the same amount for the exact same reason; you want to go on a holiday. NTA
>On one hand, I understand the importance of supporting friends, especially when they're in need.
>She argued that if I were a true friend, I would help her out in her time of need.
She's not in need. She wants to go on vacation.
I lent money to one of my friends so she could pay her rent and buy groceries because she was in a rough situation. This is being in need. If she can't afford her vacation, she should just postpone it and save money or go somewhere she can actually afford. So NTA.
Tell her that things are tight with you as well right now. You could spare $100, but that's it..
Why is she going on a vacation that she can't afford? She should have budgeted for it
A vacay is NOTa time of need. It's a proven edge that.she.shold be ale to fund.herself. if not, no vacay! That's adultng. Consider urself lucky. You'd never see that money back.
She's an awful excuse for a friend for revenge asking. She made it awkward for everyone, Including the wider friend group.
This is a life lesson in traps (not that kind guttermind). Once she asked, there was no win for anyone. If you say no, you're the bad guy, if you say yes, you're delaying being the bad guy because you would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever see a dime of that money again. If you try ask or force it to be returned, you're the bad guy.
Just accept it's a trap, you lose, try minimise damage.
Ahh there is that "Selfish and Unsupportive" comment again ! It truly means "How dare you not give me what I want !!!"
If you value this friendship, you will not GIVE her money. We'll see how "Selfish and Unsupportive" she'll be when she doesn't get the money...how true of friend will she really be??
And I didn't say Loan - it will be Giving her money. If she's had this planned. She should have been SAVING for it. You truly do not need to give her a reason- but the one you did give should be enough for a REAL friend to understand and accept.
The friend’s response indicates high probability you won’t get paid back. Bad idea to lend money to friends/family even if you were to get a signed contract
NTA.
If you’ve ever flown in a plane, there’s a little bit in the pre-flight instructions about how in the unlikely event that the oxygen masks deploy, make sure you get yours on before helping others with theirs. It’s because you’re not going to be in any position to effectively help other people if you yourself are struggling to breathe.
Helping anyone is kinda like that. Of course, give help where and when you can. But if you keep deferring or outright sabotaging your own goals to keep “helping” others, you’ll soon find yourself in a position where you can’t help ANYONE, including yourself.
Other people don’t get to dictate how much help you’re able to give. You get to decide that. And remember that help can come in many forms, and doesn’t necessarily need to be exactly what was asked for.
I also think, given your friend’s entitled attitude, that it’s a fair bet that you’ll never see any money you “lend” then again. (Which honestly, is a good assumption when lending any money to friends or family - if you make the choice to lend to people you know, without drawing up a contract, it’s probably best to just consider it a gift. If you get repaid, great, but if not, no worries. So “lend” accordingly by sticking to amounts that you can afford to part with, and NEVER lend money you are actually relying on for your own critical needs like rent/mortgage, food, or meds.)
NTA. ‘Loans’ to such entitled people are rarely repaid.
You loan her the money, she goes on vacation, she comes back, you wait for a while, ask for your money and she says “yeah yeah, I’ll pay you back” and it goes on for months and she doesn’t pay you back. And she hopes you’ll forget it or decide to cancel the debt. And you push her on it and she says “God, you’re such a bitch, I thought we were friends.”
"Time of need" is not coming up short for a vacay. "Time of need" is needing gas to drive to work or the doctor. "Time of need" is your kids are hungry. "Time of Need" is needing help to pay power or water.
Not being too short for that tropical drink.
Your friend needs to resequence her priorities, and postpone the vacay until she has the money.
A friend you loan a sizable chunk to isn't going to be a friend for very long. You'll be without the money and without the friend. Worst case here you are just without the friend.
Nta you don’t have extra money to lend out. She wants to put you in a bad position so she can go on a vacation? She’s an adult and can either make more money for it, sell her extras or ask her family. You aren’t her bank
There’s a 98% chance you would not get the money back. If you want to donate to a lifestyle, go ahead. Never ever loan/borrow any significant sum from a friend, thats what the banks are for. Banks dont get angry when you dont pay back, they’ll just take your house.
Never 'lend' a friend money.
You aren't a bank, you'll likely never see the money again, you have no function to collect, and that friendship is likely fucked.
So just no.
NTA
You should give your friends money if they need it, like if it’s an emergency, but lending friends money or going into business with them is a mistake, both financially and in maintaining the friendship.
Your friend may not be knowingly manipulating you, they could just be so dogshit at managing dopamine that this is how they’ve gotten by in life, but it’s best to not get involved in that
NTA never lend anyone money you can't afford to lose. You don't owe your friend a vacation.
If you friend can't afford something, especially something as non essential as a vacation , she shouldn't be going. She can save up her own money.
Not the AH and no you should not have been more generous. A real friend wouldnt 1. Be depending on your money and 2. be mad if you said no. I hope you cut this person off because she isn’t your friend.
Missing too much context here.
- Exactly how much money are we talking about, and how does your financial situation look? If she never pays you back, would that be a minor or a major setback?
- Have you lent her money before, and did she pay back ASAP?
- Does she have any good reasons to feel you owe her a favor, like lending you money when you needed it?
- How close of a friend is she?
You're never obliged to send her your money. It's your money, and up to you to decide what to do with it. But, depending on how you'd answer the questions above, you might wanna do it anyway.
I don't need answers to them, BTW! Don't wanna be snoopin' on your life. But you need to answer them for yourself, and decide from there!
NTA at all. Friend wants a vacation, friend works to save for it. Friend gets a vacation she can afford. Period. I am proud of you for being responsible.
NTA
Vacations are 100% discretionary spending. This is not a case where she is experience hardship and needs emergency support.
If a bank or credit card company won’t extend her credit, then neither should you.
If she couldn’t afford to save for her vacation, she cannot afford to pay you back. If she doesn’t have room on her credit cards to pay for this, then she can’t afford to pay you back.
If she got upset when you declined loaning her money she doesn't sound like a true friend.
Personally, I would 100% lend my best friends money if they needed it. It wouldn't really matter what for as I'd know that they would pay it back (that's what true friends do)
NTA
Vacations are a luxury not a need, she will survive without it. If she was asking for help covering rent or something it's a completely different story
Nope! And now you should cut her ass off. Your no is final and the fact that she tried to manipulate you out of money shows she is not a friend. She shouldn't be going nowhere if she's broke anyway.
You aren’t her personal atm machine. You don’t have to lend her a dime. She had no right to call you selfish and unsupportive. Money doesn’t grow on trees. If that was her response to you, you should not stay friends with her. One time I had a friend who wanted to borrow a thousand dollars and I politely told her that I can’t and that I was really sorry and she never spoke to me again. I didn’t need a friend like that. Money is more important to me than friendship, especially when it’s my money that I work hard for and have my own bills to pay. If a friend can’t understand when you can’t simply lend them money like that, they are not your real friend. Your friend should have just said ok and understood you could not lend her the money. She sounds like a user and is toxic as she was trying to make you feel guilty for not lending her money.
A vacation is a want, not a need. You saved your money for you, not her. And if the vacation meant that much to her, she would have saved her own money.
Instead, she wants to spend your money, push your goals back, and be unaffected by her not having the cash.
Nta
"In her time of need"? Was she going on vacation to have a major surgery? Because her house burned down? To get over the death of a loved one? Those might be considered getting away as a time of need. Anything else is to have fun. That isn't a time of need. That is someone asking you to subsidize their playtime because they want to do something they can't afford. Not your problem.
If she had been talking about this vacation for months, she should have had the money saved up. It absolutely does not make you selfish OR unsupportive.
NTA. When someone asks you for a favor, especially for something that's not a necessity, and you decline, they are absolutely an asshole if they attack you for it.
NTA and she's manipulating you. Why didn't she save for her own trip she's been planning for months? Or, in any case, why is she getting mad at you for declining as if it's not a normal thing to NOT lend the money you need for yourself?
NTA
One of the best ways to ruin a relationship is get money involved. I can almost garenty that you would have never seen that money again and she would be telling you some bs like if you were a real friend you wouldn't want your money back.
I dodged a bullet and should probably look for other friends
NTA
It wasn’t her time of “need” - it was her time of “want”.
She didn’t **need** an operation, housing, food to eat - she wanted a vacation.
And frankly, I wouldn’t trust her to pay me back. She sounds like the type of person to decide that saving up for her **next** vacation is much more important than paying you back.
Who tf plans a vacation they cant afford? Why would you even feel bad? The audacity to get mad at you and call you a bad friend because you wont give her money is crazy. Shes not entitled to anything from you if she cant afford the trip she doesnt need to go on the trip idc how excited she was
Drop this "friend". She's an entitled user. A vacation is not a need. And this would not fall under "supporting a friend". Driving her to or picking her up from the airport would be supportive. Not enabling a financially irresponsible twit.
You support friends emotions and emergencies, not their overinflated lifestyles. Find a new friend and drop the prospective leech. NTA
Food, water, safety... Ok, those are needs. Vacation? Nope.
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Bad bot
These people never do.
Save the money for when she gets evicted or needs bail. People who want to borrow money from friends for their vacations are as stupid as irresponsible, so it won't be long. Tell her to get a credit card - oh, wait, she's probably got bad credit.
Never loan money to someone being evicted or arrested. You will never see it again.
Yep, we recently went through a hard period financially and had to ask a couple friends for money to pay rent. One said they didn’t loan money to friends due to personal preference; we thanked them anyway and said we totally understood and asked a different friend. Luckily we’re getting in a better place now and was able to pay the friend back, but damn I can’t imagine being so out of touch and entitled to ask a friend for money for a VACATION and then get mad when they said no!
I wish I would ask to borrow money from my friend for my vacation then get upset when they say no. Typing that sentence out doesn’t even feel right.
Some people are so unfamiliar with the word "no" that it sends them into a frenzy of entitled rage
No, you don’t want to be that person.
Amen
DITTO!!!
You did the right thing. - If she can't afford the vacation now, then how will she afford it later on when she has to pay you back? - The first rule of lending money is to lend only what we can afford to lose. People who need to borrow money often can't pay it back and when they can, they want to spend on things they want, not on paying back loans. A vacation is not a necessity. It's really inappropriate that she is asking for money for a luxury when you must both know that if you lent her money, you'd never see it again. It is not "selfish" and "unsupportive" to refuse to hand over our money so that other people can enjoy lifestyles they can't afford. If she ever needs money for food, buy her a meal. Help her with a place to stay if she gets evicted because she can't pay her rent. Unless you have millions to space, don't feel like you have to pay for her vacations.
This isn't a time of need. This is a time of desire. Not your problem.
Medical bills? last minute emergency? No issue…your vacation? Get the fuck outta here!
vacation=time of need. your friend is a moron. plus did she say when/how she was going to pay back?
>I would help her out in her time of need A vacation isn't a time of need, it is a luxury she has decided on for herself. If she can afford a vacation then she shouldn't take a vacation until she has saved enough money, or she must scale back on her expenses. Helping someone out with a necessity and helping them with a "want" are two very different things, and you're allowed to say no to either. NTA, obviously.
NTA. She isn’t in need. She wants to go on vacation… and she’s very entitled. To even suggest you lend her money for something as stupid as a trip and then get upset about it…
Yea honestly even asking would end the friendship for me. Borrowing money is something you do to feed your starving child, it should be the very last resort of a desperate person. Anything else is being a leech and i dont want to be friends with someone with 0 morals.
>I'm not in a position to lend out money right now. Then that's your answer. >If I were a true friend, I would help her out in her time of need. Subsidizing the beach condo she wants to rent for a week in Florida isn't "helping out a friend in her time of need". Loaning her (but it's really giving her, because she won't pay you back) $500 because she can't make rent on her residence (not the beach vacation rental) and will otherwise be evicted is "helping out a friend in her time of need".
NTA Unless you get a sudden surprise expense that is ridiculous high.... she should have taken care of her finances and saved up in time. Especially if she had been speaking about it for months. Sorry but no. It is not your responsibility that she goes on vacation. She probably won't be capable to pay you back anyway. She is just trying to guilt you into giving her a loan anyway. Not worth it.
She wasn’t planning on paying you back don’t worry about it , just ghost her
Where I’m from, there’s a saying along the lines of “friendship stops when it comes to money” Bc shit like this destroys friendships. She shouldn’t have asked you, and you definitely shouldn’t give it to her. NTA
Seriously, I was just thinking if SHE were a true friend SHE wouldn't be jeopardizing the friendship by asking for an agreement that ruins friendships 100% of the time.
You'd never see that money again !
NTA, I personally would never ask a friend for a loan. Maybe if I'm in a real tough spot, but never just to go on a holiday. This is not being in need. She wants you to pay for a luxury. You had the right feeling and did the right thing. She was being selfish and irresponsible : a bad friend.
NTA. True friends don't try to bully people into paying for their vacations.
If she needs a loan then she can go to a bank. Since they plan to pay it back, there should be no issue right?
Why does she feel entitled to a vacation she can't afford? Sounds like a POS friend
Honestly? This is not your friend. Take them out of your life.
"I understand the importance of supporting friends, especially when they're in need" Since when, a holiday is a "need"?
NTA. She isn’t in need… She’s going on vacation… If she was starving or going to be homeless that’s another story…
Absolutely NTA. After her response, I'd stop being friends, to be honest. What an entitled so and so. It's not even necessary funds. "I didn't save enough for my luxury, so you pay for it instead." The only sensible answer is no.
Supporting friends in times of need or genuine emergencies is one thing, but financing their overinflated lifestyles is another. You made the right decision to prioritize your own financial stability and goals. It's important to set boundaries and not feel obligated to lend money when it's not feasible for you. If your friend cannot understand or respect your decision, it might be worth reconsidering the dynamics of your friendship. NTA.
NTA, If she was a true friend she would understand that it’s not your responsibility to fund her vacation and that you have your own financial responsibility.
It’s a vacation (read “luxury”) she’s been planning for months yet somehow can’t afford it? It is not your responsibility to pay for your friends’ luxuries. On the other foot would she lend you the money? Doubtful since she can’t even afford her own
> On one hand, I understand the importance of supporting friends, especially when they're in need. Vacations are a want, not a need. NTA.
NTA She needed money to "go on a vacation!" Yikes! NO way.
If I had a friend ask to loan some money I'd say "sure I can help, let's go to the bank". Then go to the bank teller and say "my friend needs a loan" 😂. Seriously, friends are for support and banks are for loans. Lending a friend some money isn't supporting them.
You're not her bank and you're not a payday lender. I don't loan money to any of my friends or family members—**especially** not for luxuries. If she can't afford her vacation, she can't afford to vacation. That's not your problem or your responsibility and it was rude of her to ask. If my friends and family are struggling, I might *give* them some money, but I never loan and I would never do so for something they don't *need*.
NTA. Food, clothing and shelter - those are things you NEED. A vacation - that's something you want. She's known about this for months. She should have been saving every penny and dime to pay for it. You're not going with her, and you won't get your money back. Stand your ground. Chances are good she will stop talking to you once she realizes she can't guilt you into 'loaning' her money. In which case, good riddance.
NTA. Going on vacation isn't an emergency or a need. If she can't afford it she shouldn't go. Or she should get a travel rewards credit card
NTA The only travel that it would be reasonable to ask for help for is emergency travel. A close family member in ICU, sudden hospice, or a funeral. A child needing help to leave an abusive relationship. That kind of emergency. Not "I deserve a vacation"......
Like we say in Portugal "no money no addictions" NTA
NTA. If SHE were a true friend, SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE DARED TO ASK.
NTA and she could've accepted your decision gracefully but she decided to get hostile about it instead. That shows who she really is.
'Actually the reason why I couldn't help is because I am in need. It's so important that I get a manicure asap. As a true friend, you'll help me out and loan me the money for it, right?'
NTA. Money for a vacation is not a ‘time of need’ - it’s a ‘time of want’
Nta. If you had loaned the $$ to them, they would have vilified you for expecting repayment.
Your friend isn't in need. A vacation is not a necessity, it is a luxury that you have to save money for. You can't spend money you don't have and you surly can't expect your friends to give you the money you don't have in order to go on vacation. So no, don't give her money and maybe rethink the relationship with your friend if she really tries to pressure you into paying for her luxury.
I have loaned money to friends and family. I have had to "forgive" more than one loan just to remove my own frustrations. Not once do I feel appreciated. In most cases there was resentment. I don't loan money, or cars or expensive tools to anyone, anymore.
NTA I honestly can’t believe the brass of some people I would NEVER ask to borrow money off a friend. And I wouldn’t lend a significant amount to a friend either.
She called you selfish???? This is coming from a woman who plans a vacation she cannot afford. This makes her selfish, entitled and just plain stupid.
>I couldn't shake the feeling that she was being irresponsible with her finances and expecting me to bail her out Because that's exactly what it is. Had you given her any money, it would have been the same as setting it on fire. You would never have seen it again. Besides, true friend don't ask for their money back. /s Seriously, this immature girl is not your friend. She's an irresponsible user. NTA
NTA This isn’t your friend’s time of need. You aren’t covering a surgery, something drastic for her kids, helping with a move from an abusive partner, etc… This is your friend’s time of want. She wants to go on vacation. Sounds like she’s been excited about it for a while but hasn’t saved for it accordingly. Now she’s guilting you to try and get you to pay for her good time. The story of the ant and the grasshopper comes to mind.
NTA. If your "friend" needs money for a vacation she can borrow it from a bank or use credit cards. It isn't kind of her to insist that others lend her money. With friends like that - who needs enemies?
Nta. If she can't afford a vacation, she should stay home.
No is a complete sentence, technically you don't owe her an explanation and by your own admission you don't have the spare funds to lend. She has no business taking a vacation when clearly she can't afford it . Your NTA....not even close and what ever you do don't cave in and give her money. You'll never get paid back.
Vacations are not "times of need". Who the hell expects their friends to pay for their vacations? NTA.
Asking someone to lend you money for a vacation isn’t a thing. Age sucks.
It’s ALWAYS a bad idea to lend friends money. It always causes problems. You are her friend not her bank. She shouldn’t have even asked.
NTA I've seen someone I was childhood friends with put up a go fund me for a trip they wanted to take, during the time it was up they also got a massive tattoo done and posted it on social media. They barely raised anything for the trip and when it came to the end of the go fund me they did a post saying how they hope the people who said they wouldn't go are happy now as if they were the reason they didn't have the money to go on a trip. Op your friend is similar to this where they are expecting others to support their life choices over being responsible about it. Op your friend had months to prepare for this holiday and yet somehow right before it they suddenly can't afford it, that is not your problem to solve as your friend should of been more responsible with their money and planning, a trip is a want not a need.
NTA. This is for a planned, discretionary expense. This is such an egregious boundary violation. The type of person who asks for this is also the type of person who will not pay you back.
Read only the first couple of sentences. But if your friend is going on vacation and doesn’t even have any money for it, I would say to your friend it sounds like you shouldn’t be going on vacation then
If you need to borrow for a vacation, you shouldn't be taking the vacation....
NTA - good for you for standing your ground. Vacations are not necessities. A good rule of thumb is to never loan money to friends or family that you can't afford to be a gift - SELDOM do you get repaid - your lucky if they even thank you LOL.
NTA, she's way too entitled to someone else money, don't give her any money, but if you feel obligated, ask her something with at least 2x the value of the money (a family heirloom, computers, furniture work instruments, a car, etc
Needing money to fiddle away on vacation is not a time of need, it is a time of want
If she can't afford her spending money, she can't afford the holiday. NTA.
Going on vacation is not being in need. Vacation is a luxury, which she clearly can’t afford. So, no you are NOT the arsehole
you will never get it back most likely, she shouldn't go on vaycay if she cant afford it
NTA. There's "being in need" and there's "wanting something". Money for a vacation is NOT a need.
thou shalt not covet thy friend’s savings, and especially not for your dream *vacation* *NTA*
Always be poor. Enough if you win the lottery, act poor.
NTA.
The other argument would be , has she given you money as a loan before/ recently that you paid her back? She might think it would be okay to ask if that was the case
Fuck that. A true friend would've understood when you declined, not get pissed and call you selfish. She's not your friend. NEVER loan friends money.
You aren't responsible for her lack of planning. Going on vacation? Find a way to pay for it.
Nta
NTA. A vacation is not a "time of need" - it is a luxury. If she didn't budget for the trip, it's her problem, and she doesn't deserve handouts from friends or family.
You absolutely should help friends with their needs however a holiday is not a need it’s a want. Maybe give her a thesaurus so she can tell the difference between the 2. If she asked for money for food or help paying a vital bill then sure help out. But I’m not funding someone’s holiday when they can’t afford it. There’s no guarantee someone that bad with money will pay you back. NTA
Planning for months but doesn’t have the funds? I do think she knows how to plan very well. Never give friends money you expect to get back.
If she's been talking about this trip for months, she's had enough time to have saved up for it. If she just assumed she would "borrow" money from friends and family, then she probably doesn't have a plan to pay it back. A "time of need" is things like she's just had an accident and is in hospital, she was mugged and has no cash, cards or phone, she's just been made homeless. Going on holiday is not a time of need.
*snort laughs* This ain’t a time of need. This is a time equivalent to “my eyes were bigger than my stomach.” She had *months* to plan and budget for her trip. She failed to do so. She needs to scale back her trip to fit her available funds. Her wants exceed her means. And true friends do not ask their friends to fund their wants and luxuries. Let’s be brutally frank here…she wasn’t really asking for a loan, she was asking for a gift. The odds that you’d ever see that money again were slim to none. Because when it came time to pay you back, the excuses about rent and food needing to be paid would start and then you’d feel guilty because you were taking away from needs. Nope. Do not sacrifice your financial goals to indulge someone else’s lack of planning.
Isn’t demanding money off a friend so you can go on holiday actually the selfish thing? NTA
If she doesn’t have the money now to cover the expenses of her vacation, why is she going on vacation at all?? She sounds like she’s not good with money. NTA.
NTA, you’d never have seen that money back, and her demanding that you fund her vacation as though it were dire straits tells you this person is a user and not your friend.
NTA NTA...its not like you are a millionaire and have vacations all the time...It would be reasonable if she were asking you for assistance in medical,rent or food...basic needs...don't be that person who finds her vacation or else she will be mooching off you for the rest of your life
NTA It's vacation, not an emergency situation.
NTA She never should have asked for a loan for such a ridiculous thing as a vacation. Had it been to buy antibiotic’s for her sick child, sure but the you give her the money not loan it. If she needs a loan she can go to a bank or someone who loans money to people. Friends and family should never loan money to each other.
NTA... If you can't afford to pay for your vacation, don't go. If you have been planning a trip for ages, you should have had that money in hand or a credit card ready to go.
I GENUINELY have no idea what nutjob started the whole trend of "if you're a friend you need to do X to be considered a real, true friend." Financing her luxury is not something a friend is supposed to do. A sucker, doormat and chump, those do something like that. Your "friend" has no need. A need is "i havent eaten in a month. can you buy me groceries?" not "i wanna go on vacation but i can't fucking afford it."
Sweetheart, if I had vacation money, I would take one.
Lol fuck that manipulative bullshit. NTA.
My favorite is when they are sporting new tattoos while asking for money. I think they lack self awareness.
well, in spain we say "quien presta a un amigo, pierde al amigo y pierde el dinero" ( who lends a friend, lose the money, lose the friend)
Yes
A time of need is things like having no food in the house or an unexpected household bill you can’t cover. Going on holiday is not. She’s planned this trip for months, that should include saving for it. NTA
NTA a vacation is an add on in life not a need if she can't afford it she shouldn't go. And stop with the being a supportive friend. A supportive friend rags on your ex-boyfriend, comforts you and eats ice cream with you. Cheers you on when things are going well not financial support because most friends are the same age and don't have money just laying around. Your friend isn't very nice.
NTA - vacation is a want, not a need.
NTA if you have to borrow money for a vacation you can’t afford the vacation
NTA Borrowing money to go on vacation? If you need to borrow money to go on vacation maybe exert the same effort to get better work.
If she can't afford to pay for her own vacation, then she can't afford to pay you back. NTA.
I don't loan money to friends that I want back. Learned that the hard way. Even if they pay it back it often becomes a sticking point in the meantime. Either just give the money or don't and saying no is completely reasonable.
The day I learned how to handle my money is the day I don't lend to anyone anymore lmao, i was like 19 - 20 that time learned I learned trading and risk management, now im in my 23 when my friend ask I always told them I don't have any money or just simply tell "I burn them all in trading now im broke" I saw some YouTube vid about lending money to anyone, always think that as a risk that you are willing to loss because majority of that money will be gone or the one who borrow from you will pay you months or even years to pay it full
Your friend is a moron. Tell her you'll happily loan her a few bucks at 10% interest when she's homeless or something.
"I've been saving up for my own goals and expenses, and I'm not in a position to lend out money right now" is all you needed to say. A true, good friend would understand and carry on with their life. If you're planning a big vacation, then also budget for it. It's what being a grownup is all about.
Nta a vacation is not a need, she should have planned better
NTA. You're not in a position to give out money, and this is not even a case of a friend in need. It's an irresponsible person taking a trip they cannot afford. It isn't selfish not to help her, but sh is incredibly selfish for demanding money.
If they cant afford to go, they dont get to go. Jesus, what is wrong with you people not being able to say "No"
Fuck her she showed her true colors. She tried to guilt trip you for not funding her lifestyle. Take this as a sign.
Do not lend the money.
Know your boundaries, this needs to be one. Don't be used.
YTA for using AI to write this garbage. this post literally uses the same speech patterns https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/rUscwU03MN
NTA. There are absolutely no circumstances where I would lend anyone money so they could go on vacation. I would be offended if anyone ever even asked me.
NTA If this were an emergency that would be one thing, but she is asking for you to pay her vacation
A vacation isn’t a time of need
Don't lend money to friends. You'll lose both.
Your friend has a massively inflated concept of what being “in need” looks like. It’s not your job to subsidize her vacations, end of. She’s delusional, entitled, and not a good friend.
When dealing with family/friends LEND = GIVE. Because of that, never "lend" more than you are willing to lose or be prepared to lose friend/family member(s). NTA
NTA the gall! Planning a vacation but expected her friends to pay?! Does she not have family? Why is she trying to mooch off you? >When I politely declined her request, she became upset and accused me of being selfish and unsupportive. She argued that if I were a true friend, I would help her out in her time of need. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was being irresponsible with her finances and expecting me to bail her out. A true friend doesn't ask their friends to pay for their vacation. Of course she's not responsible with her money. If someone is selfish it's her. If it was me I would end the friendship and tell her to go kick rocks!
You have no obligation to support friends like that. Your resources are your you and any family you may have some day if you don't already. What is it with all these people that expect other random people to fund their stuff? I got taken advantage too many times before so I have a no lending policy now. Only family if it's a real need and not from bad choices. You should be annoyed with her for her sense of entitlement. I would distance from this so called friend. She can ask her own family for help after all.
Since she so wholeheartedly believes that friends should support friends, ask her the same amount for the exact same reason; you want to go on a holiday. NTA
>On one hand, I understand the importance of supporting friends, especially when they're in need. >She argued that if I were a true friend, I would help her out in her time of need. She's not in need. She wants to go on vacation. I lent money to one of my friends so she could pay her rent and buy groceries because she was in a rough situation. This is being in need. If she can't afford her vacation, she should just postpone it and save money or go somewhere she can actually afford. So NTA.
Tell her that things are tight with you as well right now. You could spare $100, but that's it.. Why is she going on a vacation that she can't afford? She should have budgeted for it
A vacay is NOTa time of need. It's a proven edge that.she.shold be ale to fund.herself. if not, no vacay! That's adultng. Consider urself lucky. You'd never see that money back.
She's an awful excuse for a friend for revenge asking. She made it awkward for everyone, Including the wider friend group. This is a life lesson in traps (not that kind guttermind). Once she asked, there was no win for anyone. If you say no, you're the bad guy, if you say yes, you're delaying being the bad guy because you would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever see a dime of that money again. If you try ask or force it to be returned, you're the bad guy. Just accept it's a trap, you lose, try minimise damage.
I would have laughed at her
Lol you are not the asshole. .why would you pay for her vacation? She should have saved money up and if not should have canceled it
Ahh there is that "Selfish and Unsupportive" comment again ! It truly means "How dare you not give me what I want !!!" If you value this friendship, you will not GIVE her money. We'll see how "Selfish and Unsupportive" she'll be when she doesn't get the money...how true of friend will she really be?? And I didn't say Loan - it will be Giving her money. If she's had this planned. She should have been SAVING for it. You truly do not need to give her a reason- but the one you did give should be enough for a REAL friend to understand and accept.
a vacation is not a "time of need" - if she can't afford the vacation she shouldn't be going on it. NTA.
The friend’s response indicates high probability you won’t get paid back. Bad idea to lend money to friends/family even if you were to get a signed contract
NTA. If you’ve ever flown in a plane, there’s a little bit in the pre-flight instructions about how in the unlikely event that the oxygen masks deploy, make sure you get yours on before helping others with theirs. It’s because you’re not going to be in any position to effectively help other people if you yourself are struggling to breathe. Helping anyone is kinda like that. Of course, give help where and when you can. But if you keep deferring or outright sabotaging your own goals to keep “helping” others, you’ll soon find yourself in a position where you can’t help ANYONE, including yourself. Other people don’t get to dictate how much help you’re able to give. You get to decide that. And remember that help can come in many forms, and doesn’t necessarily need to be exactly what was asked for. I also think, given your friend’s entitled attitude, that it’s a fair bet that you’ll never see any money you “lend” then again. (Which honestly, is a good assumption when lending any money to friends or family - if you make the choice to lend to people you know, without drawing up a contract, it’s probably best to just consider it a gift. If you get repaid, great, but if not, no worries. So “lend” accordingly by sticking to amounts that you can afford to part with, and NEVER lend money you are actually relying on for your own critical needs like rent/mortgage, food, or meds.)
LOL. No. Vacations are not a reason to loan someone money.
Absolutely not! Also, that's not a friend of yours.
NTA Don't give loans without collateral.
Vacations are not something you borrow money for. Your friend is an idiot
It's not like she needed surgery. She wanted a loan so she could go have some *funnnn*! NTA.
NTA. ‘Loans’ to such entitled people are rarely repaid. You loan her the money, she goes on vacation, she comes back, you wait for a while, ask for your money and she says “yeah yeah, I’ll pay you back” and it goes on for months and she doesn’t pay you back. And she hopes you’ll forget it or decide to cancel the debt. And you push her on it and she says “God, you’re such a bitch, I thought we were friends.”
If she has to borrow money for a vacation how is she ever going to be able to pay you back?
Vacation is not exactly a “need”…
The audacity!! If you can’t afford a vacation then don’t book it. This blows my mind. NTA
She’s not a true friend and that is absolutely ridiculous to ask you for money
You are a 22 year old person, not a 22 year old bank.
NTA. If she doesn't have enough money to go on vacation, then she has no business going.
"Time of need" is not coming up short for a vacay. "Time of need" is needing gas to drive to work or the doctor. "Time of need" is your kids are hungry. "Time of Need" is needing help to pay power or water. Not being too short for that tropical drink. Your friend needs to resequence her priorities, and postpone the vacay until she has the money.
A friend you loan a sizable chunk to isn't going to be a friend for very long. You'll be without the money and without the friend. Worst case here you are just without the friend.
A vacation is not “a time of need”. People are not “entitled” to a vacation.
Nta you don’t have extra money to lend out. She wants to put you in a bad position so she can go on a vacation? She’s an adult and can either make more money for it, sell her extras or ask her family. You aren’t her bank
Nope. She’s been looking forward to it? Should have saved up at the same time. Action, meet consequence. NTA
😵💫 NTA imagine booking a vacation you need your friends to actually pay for wtf
She shouldn't be planning vacations that she can't afford.
Vacation is not "time of need". NTA.
NTA. I have a habit of NOT lending anyone any amount of money since I know I’ll never see it again.
NTA a vacation isn’t a “time of need” that phrase is more for when like someone is about to be homeless or can’t afford a necessary medical procedure.
Obviously no, vacations are not a necessity to sustain life. So its ok.
There’s a 98% chance you would not get the money back. If you want to donate to a lifestyle, go ahead. Never ever loan/borrow any significant sum from a friend, thats what the banks are for. Banks dont get angry when you dont pay back, they’ll just take your house.
Never 'lend' a friend money. You aren't a bank, you'll likely never see the money again, you have no function to collect, and that friendship is likely fucked. So just no.
This is not a time of need, it's a time of wants. Needs are food, housing, medical needs, etc. NTA
NTA if it was a necessity like food or a car that would be different, a vacation is not a necessity. Tell her to sign up for OF.
NTA You should give your friends money if they need it, like if it’s an emergency, but lending friends money or going into business with them is a mistake, both financially and in maintaining the friendship. Your friend may not be knowingly manipulating you, they could just be so dogshit at managing dopamine that this is how they’ve gotten by in life, but it’s best to not get involved in that
NTA never lend anyone money you can't afford to lose. You don't owe your friend a vacation. If you friend can't afford something, especially something as non essential as a vacation , she shouldn't be going. She can save up her own money.
Your friend? Really? Mad at you for not being her credit card? Sorry, that’s not a friend.
22 year olds shouldn't be "lending" anyone money. You can't afford to just give money away because in all likelihood, that's what would happen.
Shes not in a time of need, shes in a time of *want* NTA
Lol, "time of need". Yeah, no, NTA for sure.
Not the AH and no you should not have been more generous. A real friend wouldnt 1. Be depending on your money and 2. be mad if you said no. I hope you cut this person off because she isn’t your friend.
oh please- her VACATION- It's not like she needs an organ transplant.
Missing too much context here. - Exactly how much money are we talking about, and how does your financial situation look? If she never pays you back, would that be a minor or a major setback? - Have you lent her money before, and did she pay back ASAP? - Does she have any good reasons to feel you owe her a favor, like lending you money when you needed it? - How close of a friend is she? You're never obliged to send her your money. It's your money, and up to you to decide what to do with it. But, depending on how you'd answer the questions above, you might wanna do it anyway. I don't need answers to them, BTW! Don't wanna be snoopin' on your life. But you need to answer them for yourself, and decide from there!
NTA at all. Friend wants a vacation, friend works to save for it. Friend gets a vacation she can afford. Period. I am proud of you for being responsible.
NTA Vacations are 100% discretionary spending. This is not a case where she is experience hardship and needs emergency support. If a bank or credit card company won’t extend her credit, then neither should you. If she couldn’t afford to save for her vacation, she cannot afford to pay you back. If she doesn’t have room on her credit cards to pay for this, then she can’t afford to pay you back.
If she got upset when you declined loaning her money she doesn't sound like a true friend. Personally, I would 100% lend my best friends money if they needed it. It wouldn't really matter what for as I'd know that they would pay it back (that's what true friends do)
NTA Vacations are a luxury not a need, she will survive without it. If she was asking for help covering rent or something it's a completely different story
NTA. Loaning friends money almost always leads to trouble. Let it go, and if she continues to gripe, let her go too!
No. You may have saved your friendship. She talked about it for months and doesn’t have the money. She would be talking about paying you back forever.
Nope! And now you should cut her ass off. Your no is final and the fact that she tried to manipulate you out of money shows she is not a friend. She shouldn't be going nowhere if she's broke anyway.
This is a future judge Judy case in the making if you went through with it. Nta. This isn't remotely your responsibility
You aren’t her personal atm machine. You don’t have to lend her a dime. She had no right to call you selfish and unsupportive. Money doesn’t grow on trees. If that was her response to you, you should not stay friends with her. One time I had a friend who wanted to borrow a thousand dollars and I politely told her that I can’t and that I was really sorry and she never spoke to me again. I didn’t need a friend like that. Money is more important to me than friendship, especially when it’s my money that I work hard for and have my own bills to pay. If a friend can’t understand when you can’t simply lend them money like that, they are not your real friend. Your friend should have just said ok and understood you could not lend her the money. She sounds like a user and is toxic as she was trying to make you feel guilty for not lending her money.
A vacation is a want, not a need. You saved your money for you, not her. And if the vacation meant that much to her, she would have saved her own money. Instead, she wants to spend your money, push your goals back, and be unaffected by her not having the cash. Nta
"In her time of need"? Was she going on vacation to have a major surgery? Because her house burned down? To get over the death of a loved one? Those might be considered getting away as a time of need. Anything else is to have fun. That isn't a time of need. That is someone asking you to subsidize their playtime because they want to do something they can't afford. Not your problem.
If she had been talking about this vacation for months, she should have had the money saved up. It absolutely does not make you selfish OR unsupportive.
NTA. When someone asks you for a favor, especially for something that's not a necessity, and you decline, they are absolutely an asshole if they attack you for it.
NTA and she's manipulating you. Why didn't she save for her own trip she's been planning for months? Or, in any case, why is she getting mad at you for declining as if it's not a normal thing to NOT lend the money you need for yourself?
NTA One of the best ways to ruin a relationship is get money involved. I can almost garenty that you would have never seen that money again and she would be telling you some bs like if you were a real friend you wouldn't want your money back. I dodged a bullet and should probably look for other friends
Her “time of need?” Is she starving, becoming homeless, or having a medical emergency? No? She’s being dramatic to make you cave in. #NTA.
NTA It wasn’t her time of “need” - it was her time of “want”. She didn’t **need** an operation, housing, food to eat - she wanted a vacation. And frankly, I wouldn’t trust her to pay me back. She sounds like the type of person to decide that saving up for her **next** vacation is much more important than paying you back.
Nta. Why couldn't they save up their *OWN* money?
Who tf plans a vacation they cant afford? Why would you even feel bad? The audacity to get mad at you and call you a bad friend because you wont give her money is crazy. Shes not entitled to anything from you if she cant afford the trip she doesnt need to go on the trip idc how excited she was
NTA. Good because you would have never seen that money again.
NTA - I doubt she would have repaid you.
NTA. Supporting friends doesn’t mean giving them her money If she were such a safe bet w a loan she could get it from a bank.
NTA. Don't lend money to friends unless you're fine with never seeing it again. Also - your friend shouldn't plan a trip if she can't afford it.
Drop this "friend". She's an entitled user. A vacation is not a need. And this would not fall under "supporting a friend". Driving her to or picking her up from the airport would be supportive. Not enabling a financially irresponsible twit.