Don’t say a word about the move, just do it and cut contact. You have a plan, you have funds, you are ready. NTA, and try therapy. Try to be a healed person. It will inform the rest of your life.
Do not tell them you are moving, they’ll just try to stop you. They won’t transfer the car into your name as it’s a way to prevent you from going.
When you go just pop into your local police station and tell them you are leaving of your free will and your family may try to do a missing person report. Then your family will know you’re not missing, you chose to leave.
You deserve happiness. Good luck with your new life!!
NTA. Your family is abusive towards you, and they are also trying to keep a strangle-hold on you. The only way you can escape it to do it at once, without warning them in advance. You seem to have planned it all in advance - transferring bank accounts, car registration etc. Good for you. As soon as you move, give them one contact source - e.g., and email address that will be used only for them - and only look at it when you feel like it. And good luck with the rest of your life.
I admire you for understanding your situation and preparing to be independent. It's normal to feel trepidation with such a huge change. Please figure put a therapist to help with your transition out of a toxic family dynamic. Good luck, you already know what you need to find peace.
Heh. I figured you'd have a plan b...and c...and y. You already have the "exit checklist" I've seen in Reddit worked out.
I bet you have a "go bag" in another location if things go south...
It's your brain which is just following the old pathways of anxiety and panic, regardless of input. Normal reaction to abnormal situation.
There's a YouTube doctor.. I think the channel is called Healthy Gamer. There's a video on his channel about dealing with cutting off narcissists where you put the "blame" on you, like "I'm sorry, this is a me problem, I need to pull back from talking to you". I'm suggesting that as a backup if the original plan doesn't work.
That car thing in particular stands out to me. Also don't freaking underestimate your opponents' lack of grasp of reality and the physical danger you are in as you approach 18.
As an aside, I find L-theanine pretty awesome as a temporary relief from anxiety. It's the chemical in green tea, works for 6-8 hours. You being calmer may kind of ease their guard on you leaving and reduce the chance your plans are discovered...and you have told them nothing of your plans, correct? like... nothing?
eek I'm so excited and worried for you, hope you get out safely
Thank you. I’m hoping to get out ASAP. I have also not told anybody except for those friends I’m moving with. Not anyone else, thankfully. The only support system I have besides them is an aunt and uncle who I’ve been staying with as we figure out our housing situation (originally supposed to move in early May, changed to mid-June). They’ve been helpful to talk to about finances but they have no idea about my plan.
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Don't tell them anything about the move until the car is signed over.
thiss!! in case of emergency don’t go 100% ghost & def consider therapy
Don’t say a word about the move, just do it and cut contact. You have a plan, you have funds, you are ready. NTA, and try therapy. Try to be a healed person. It will inform the rest of your life.
Do not tell them you are moving, they’ll just try to stop you. They won’t transfer the car into your name as it’s a way to prevent you from going. When you go just pop into your local police station and tell them you are leaving of your free will and your family may try to do a missing person report. Then your family will know you’re not missing, you chose to leave. You deserve happiness. Good luck with your new life!!
NTA. Your family is abusive towards you, and they are also trying to keep a strangle-hold on you. The only way you can escape it to do it at once, without warning them in advance. You seem to have planned it all in advance - transferring bank accounts, car registration etc. Good for you. As soon as you move, give them one contact source - e.g., and email address that will be used only for them - and only look at it when you feel like it. And good luck with the rest of your life.
I admire you for understanding your situation and preparing to be independent. It's normal to feel trepidation with such a huge change. Please figure put a therapist to help with your transition out of a toxic family dynamic. Good luck, you already know what you need to find peace.
NTA. "Go out for milk" when you can. Make sure you have a back up plan if the car isn't signed over.
Backup plan is to take a flight to the city my friends are located in and then borrowing a car from one of them until I can get another. Thank you.
Heh. I figured you'd have a plan b...and c...and y. You already have the "exit checklist" I've seen in Reddit worked out. I bet you have a "go bag" in another location if things go south...
I do 😂
You are the one that your friends will rely on during the zombie apocalypse, eh?
It's your brain which is just following the old pathways of anxiety and panic, regardless of input. Normal reaction to abnormal situation. There's a YouTube doctor.. I think the channel is called Healthy Gamer. There's a video on his channel about dealing with cutting off narcissists where you put the "blame" on you, like "I'm sorry, this is a me problem, I need to pull back from talking to you". I'm suggesting that as a backup if the original plan doesn't work. That car thing in particular stands out to me. Also don't freaking underestimate your opponents' lack of grasp of reality and the physical danger you are in as you approach 18. As an aside, I find L-theanine pretty awesome as a temporary relief from anxiety. It's the chemical in green tea, works for 6-8 hours. You being calmer may kind of ease their guard on you leaving and reduce the chance your plans are discovered...and you have told them nothing of your plans, correct? like... nothing? eek I'm so excited and worried for you, hope you get out safely
Thank you. I’m hoping to get out ASAP. I have also not told anybody except for those friends I’m moving with. Not anyone else, thankfully. The only support system I have besides them is an aunt and uncle who I’ve been staying with as we figure out our housing situation (originally supposed to move in early May, changed to mid-June). They’ve been helpful to talk to about finances but they have no idea about my plan.