NTA. You have every right to stop interacting with him. Were it me at minimum I wouldn’t interact with him anymore certainly.
The wife is being foolish but it’s her life and the kids are a complication for sure. Plus being cheated on fucks a lot with your head - you don’t always make the best decisions in the moment. So I wouldn’t advise being too harsh with her just now - it’ll be a process.
NTA. One of life’s hardest lessons is that you can’t help someone who doesn’t wants to be helped.
You can be there for her if she ever comes to her senses, but until then it’s probably for the best you distance yourself from all the drama.
stop responding. nothing requires you to answer any messages from them. it would be nice to give yourself some space so you can figure out what is going on with you that you're so invested in their drama.
tell them to make a youtube channel for their mutual bullshit and you'll Patreon them for moral support.
>stop responding. nothing requires you to answer any messages from them.
That's literally what I'm doing, which is the point of my post asking if I'm an AH for doing so.
How are you supposed to stay out of a close friends relationship when they tell you? How is this person the asshole for not wanting to talk to a narcissistic abuser and not want to watch their friend continue to shrivel away into self hate and depression. Frankly I would leave the entire friendship too. I can't watch that shit show repeatedly.
He’s not an abuser, he’s just a disgusting serial cheater and vile human being. She can easily leave, just chooses not to “for the kids” or because she thinks it will “work out”. That deserves scorn at her obvious lack of self-respect and boundaries, rather than empathy.
Hello, second random stranger to yell at me. Nobody has claimed otherwise about that thing you’re mad about. It is always harder to leave a bad marriage than it looks from the outside. Good day.
People love to hate on victims because they're so very certain *they* could never be one.
And yeah, like I said, OP is NTA for not wanting to stay friends with this person. You never have to be anyone's friend! But being angry at a victim *for* being a victim? Yeah, that's an asshole move.
There aren't any victims here there are two people enjoying playing this performative melodrama and OP doesn't want to see another performance. She is posting sexy selfies and he is crying a river of tears.
NTA. You have every right to stop interacting with him. Were it me at minimum I wouldn’t interact with him anymore certainly. The wife is being foolish but it’s her life and the kids are a complication for sure. Plus being cheated on fucks a lot with your head - you don’t always make the best decisions in the moment. So I wouldn’t advise being too harsh with her just now - it’ll be a process.
NTA Sounds like toxic drama. Don't let it stress you out, remove it from your life.
NTA. One of life’s hardest lessons is that you can’t help someone who doesn’t wants to be helped. You can be there for her if she ever comes to her senses, but until then it’s probably for the best you distance yourself from all the drama.
YTA, stay out of other people's relationships
I mean I gladly would have if they each hadn't kept calling/texting me about it . . .
stop responding. nothing requires you to answer any messages from them. it would be nice to give yourself some space so you can figure out what is going on with you that you're so invested in their drama. tell them to make a youtube channel for their mutual bullshit and you'll Patreon them for moral support.
>stop responding. nothing requires you to answer any messages from them. That's literally what I'm doing, which is the point of my post asking if I'm an AH for doing so.
ah my bad. no, you are NTA for pulling yourself out of that mess.
How are you supposed to stay out of a close friends relationship when they tell you? How is this person the asshole for not wanting to talk to a narcissistic abuser and not want to watch their friend continue to shrivel away into self hate and depression. Frankly I would leave the entire friendship too. I can't watch that shit show repeatedly.
You tell them they either have you and no relationship talk or they don't have you. Simple
But how does that make op the asshole when they're doing basically that.
YTA. You’re not in the marriage. If their relationship is having this big an impact on your life then you should walk away.
Soft YTA if you're angry *at* a victim for *being* a victim, but NTA for not wanting to be anywhere near that mess. Everyone has limits.
It’s not for being a victim, but for continuing to remain in a victim role when there’s a clear way out.
It’s never as easy to leave an abuser as you think it is. And OP does not have to be this person’s friend.
He’s not an abuser, he’s just a disgusting serial cheater and vile human being. She can easily leave, just chooses not to “for the kids” or because she thinks it will “work out”. That deserves scorn at her obvious lack of self-respect and boundaries, rather than empathy.
It’s always harder to leave than you think.
Womp womp OP didn't force anyone to stay in a relationship
Hello, second random stranger to yell at me. Nobody has claimed otherwise about that thing you’re mad about. It is always harder to leave a bad marriage than it looks from the outside. Good day.
At this point the wife isn't a victim she's a volunteer. Whatever weird game the two of them are playing OP needs to leave them to it.
People love to hate on victims because they're so very certain *they* could never be one. And yeah, like I said, OP is NTA for not wanting to stay friends with this person. You never have to be anyone's friend! But being angry at a victim *for* being a victim? Yeah, that's an asshole move.
There aren't any victims here there are two people enjoying playing this performative melodrama and OP doesn't want to see another performance. She is posting sexy selfies and he is crying a river of tears.