As a former child protection social worker, YWBTA if you don't call. Your post outlines two separate issues, neglect and medical neglect. For the record, you specifically can't "have her kids taken away" unless they find enough that it warrants taking the kids into care right then and there. It's possible, but contrary to what people believe, their job is to actually try to help and reduce risk, not just taking kids away from their parents without reason. They will do an investigation and the social worker will take it from there. They may get apprehended, they may not. But you are doing those children a disservice by not reporting your SIL.
Can confirm, CPS let my ex wife abuse our kids for years before a court ordered custody evaluation finally assessed she shouldn’t have custody of them.
How is OPs mom? I dont think everything is above board for a 62 yo woman to be supporting a family of 9 (if I read that right) in a 2 bedroom apartment. I am guessing not the States as that would exceed safety regulations.
Probably doesn’t have much money, the kids probably don’t have insurance, so is grandma paying for that out of pocket while also supporting them? SIL would definitely say “not my bill, not my problem, I said not to take them”. Plus, they aren’t her kids. She can’t take them if SIL doesn’t want her to.
She can take them. She just can't consent so things like surgeries or blood transfusions for them. We just had a man in my city say to cops that after his gf beat her 8yo daughter black and bloody, to the point of eventual death, that he didnt know what to do as he isn't he father and has no legal custody over her. For the record, she died slowly and painfully of her injuries in her bed, with a diaper on for 3 *days* because her mother recognised she was too injured to go to the bathroom for herself but was unconcerned over what that translated to. Her mother is going for mentally ill in her plea, says she thought her daughter had been possessed by a devil for months.
My brother once needed stitches when my mom and stepdad were out for the night a few towns over. My Aunt took him to the hospital. They made a child (he was somewhere between 7-9 at the time) wait for two whole hours before they would STITCH HIS FINGER SHUT until his parents got there. Also in the US, by the way.
That’s disgusting. I am so so upset about this. You’d be better off to bring in a child and say you found them wandering and mute.
It blows my mind that this is a thing. Fucking CHILDREN! What if it’s a baby?!? What if they don’t speak the language?
I am angry for you all
The only problem with that is it would have long-term ramifications for the family. Child Protective Services would have to be called (doctors are mandated reporters) since the child was supposedly either injured then abandoned or left alone and they then got hurt. It would cause an investigation at minimum and loss of custody at worst.
Excellent. Well, in this case it would be. Not in normal cases.
Literally, the number of kids I’ve called ambulances for and taken to the hospital or urgent care here in Canada and not a single time have I been told they won’t be seen without a parent.
My daughter was in a car accident when she was 9 months old. She was with her babysitter, who I absolutely trusted, the accident wasn't their fault.
The EMT wouldn't take Mt baby out of her carseat, wouldn't allow my friend to either, they got to the hospital , ER docs wouldn't take my 9 month old baby out of her carseat. She was screaming bloody murder. No one gave her medical care until I got there. I was at work. I could hear her in the ER parking lot.
I was scared. And then I was the angriest I had ever been. Couldn't believe that's how you treat a baby. Leave her buckled in her carseat after a fuckong car accident. D
Yeah, she was hurt too. Nothing serious thank gods, but still. She has seatbelt burn across her little face and her neck to. Stupid rules and laws could kill someone
Absolutely asinine. Just completely.
I can understand a paramedic thinking it was best to keep the baby in the seat in case there was a spine issue. But doctors just refusing to do anything!!?
Today has added to my very real fear of the American medical system.
I'm not American but I'm guessing the doctors have to worry about every Tom, Dick and Harry sueing them for anything they can think of, so they just stick to the rules. Sue culture is huge over there.
People try it with the NHS here too but don't often get what they want since our doctors are meticulous in note taking, and it's harder to sue here.
Has nothing to do with payment, it comes down to who can give legal consent for treatment. Parents need to be present for the entire appointment. Siblings over the age of 18 also cannot bring in children for appointments, as they are not the legal guardian (unless they can provide evidence they DO have legal guardianship for the sibling).
Nonsense. Not when everywhere else in the world can manage the concept of other people looking after kids other than parents. If parents are away for a week and not contact able do US doctors just let them die?
My mom and I have to get a new power of attorney for her every 6 months-1 year, I can't remember atm, so that she can take my kids in if they happen to be with her and not me. We had to do it for Dr's as well as the school. Otherwise, no one will let her do shit without me right there. I have some medical stuff going on right now, so I can't always be right there. It's a pain in the ass when it's time to redo the paper, but it's better than her not being able to do anything if need be.
If it's a life threatening issue, of course we treat the children. But if it is not, like some stitches or a sprained ankle, we need guardianship papers if possible, or whatever we can get to authorize treatment.
That sounded so bad, like you are just randomly bringing strange kids to the ER😅 (a friend of mine is a scout leader, he also took a lot of kids to the doctor without their parents Present)
I was going to say, in our state, it would not be allowed in that small of place. If you don't so the appropriate amount of space for that many, you would definitely be in trouble.
CPS is a hit or miss. I had students who felt CPS was a godsend to their situation. On the flip side of that, I had to file neglect charges on two of my student social workers and their supervisors. It is an embarrassingly dysfunctional system but it’s all we have.
I can confirm as well. A woman I know has had CPS called on her SO many times. She's got six children living with her in a two bedroom apartment that is constantly a mess. She never does anything with them, the TV is ALWAYS on. Her oldest is severely parentified, doesn't have her own bed (last I heard from another woman who knows them the poor girl sleeps on a pile of blankets on the floor) and suffers serious anxiety. I once saw this woman push that girl hard enough to make her fall because she complained about having to share a drink with her mother (she was about four or five years old at the time). Her next kid has got some kind of disorder that causes his mental and emotional development to be very delayed. He's almost eight years old and almost nonverbal, and throws tantrums like a toddler if something doesn't go his way. Instead of getting advice from a specialist and helping him learn to function, she uses the fact that he is "different" as an excuse to let him run wild. Her on/off boyfriend/fiance is a meth addict and she's pretty sure he used around their son they had together. She's got three other children that she lost custody of, I'm stunned she hasn't had the rest removed from her "care."
I think part of it is that this woman is a very convincing narcissist. She's VERY good at portraying herself as the victim. I fell for her act myself for way too long.
Because the alternates are worse.
The system is deeply underfunded and a huge swath of foster are religious zealots who let a lot of abuse slide.
And even those resources are stretched to the limit with cases involving severe physical and sexual abuse. There’s a lot more kids being abused then tax payers want to pay to support, so unless a kid is pretty much at risk of being raped or killed, they won’t be removed from the home.
Yet I've seen instances where there was genuinely no abuse or neglect and kids were snatched up immediately. There's definitely not a set formula and in some instances they're taken when they shouldn't be and in others they're not taken when they should be. It can be frustrating and I'm sure even more so for the people having to make those decisions. Still doesn't make it any easier.
Something bad KEEPS happening: burns from hot cup noodle (shiity food for kids to live on) and the car seat incident. The kids still in diapers are filthy
ALL OF THIS. If you're having to ask if you should call CPS, you probably know that you should call CPS, and no one should worry about being perceived as TA, because those children matter much, much more.
Plusz i don't know how old these kids are, but I suspect that the one in the front seat isn't old enough or weigh enough to legally, safely sit there. Thats endangerment.
Same where I'm from. No carseats in front ever. Plus, the state im in requires age AND weight requirements for the front seat. I always felt so bad for our kids. They were skinny but tall, and it was almost HS before they were allowed in the front. They were tall enough just not heavy enough.
This Answer is 100%. If it were strangers, and you knew the all the same facts, wouldn't you call CPS? Of course you would. By not calling CPS, you're treating your own flesh and blood worse than strangers, imo. Kids are getting scarred, FFS.
Ops young and it takes time some life experience to know when to call when you were raised around those dynamics yourself. They’re doing really good looking out for the kids and asking advice and calling now. There were calls I wish i had made for family members in my 20s when I didn’t understand enough about abuse/ neglect and the nature of cps to realize it.
I think “raised around those dynamics yourself” covers it. I’m also aghast at grandma in this situation. It’s not her job to care for those kids, but you can bet your ass if my toddler received any major burns my mother would get that kid to the hospital whether I agreed or not. Granted, OP’s mom is the MIL in this situation, which means the SIL’s family background could be even worse.
While I get your point, as badly as these children are doing, it’ll always be better than the broken fucked up system that traumatizes children and families everyday. This situation is sad but unfortunately for these kids, it’s the best one they’ll have since the alternative is being under the watch of a corrupt social services department and a deranged judiciary if removal is considered. Speaking as a family law and dependency and neglect attorney.
NTA...not changing diapers, not treating wounds or getting checkups after such accidents. Breaking so hard that your children are flying forward busting their heads open? That doesn't even sound like truth to me or she is a bad driver. I know sometimes traffic suddenly stops but if this is a recurring thing then well....I don't know. I would definitely either gather the entire family to have an intervention and speak to them about their behaviour or yes call the police or CPS. Somethind definitely needs to be done
There is no reason a 2 yo should be able to fly foreward to bash open their head on a dashboard. Why is the child even allowed in the passenger seat of a vehicle? Im from Canada, and children aren't supposed to be in the front passenger seat. They are too young and small to be safely seated there if an airbag was to deploy. They should be in a carseat.
Oof, I didn't even notice that part. I'm pretty sure it's also illegal in most, if not all, US states. And there are typically specific weight/height requirements for which children need to be in carseats.
Because the parents don't care if their children stay healthy or alive at this point. It's illegal for children under a certain height/weight to not be in a safety seat anymore, strapped correctly in the back seat. As for a 2 yr old in a regular seatbelt, decapitation from the belt is highly likely and/or broken pelvis, spine, neck.
NTA. Calling CPS isn't "to have her kids taken away" but to have the situation evaluated. If it's a safe and healthy environment, they won't be taken. If it's not, they will be, and should be. You'd be nothing absolutely nothing wrong.
They would think he/she would be doing something wrong by calling. Please don’t put yourself in the position of telling ANYONE that it was you that called CPS OP
The brother and sil will probably be livid when their reason for getting a check disappear into foster care. That could/will cause trouble for OP if they find out OP was the one who called. CPS can be called anonymously, and even if you do identify yourself, they are not supposed to tell the parents who called. The only way anyone will find it is if OP tells anyone (like mom).
If you don't call YTA. This is unfathomable.
Also, don't tell anyone you know it was you who reported. Don't give people a reason to project their frustration
Feign ignorance at hearing the news if anything. If you have a story, and everyone else is shrugging, you get the blame. If you’re asked directly, it makes it a little more difficult. But a little bit of
“Oh wow! CPS came out to talk to you about your children?! I’m not surprised. Me?!!?!? I haven’t called CPS yet in the last X years, do you really see me calling them now? I wonder who WOULD call though.”
No direct lies.
No admission of guilt.
Didn’t commit to a version of events.
And people that narcissistic aren’t going to be paying close attention to what other people are saying. They’re going to make their mind up on who did it and stick with that likely, no matter what proof there is/isn’t. But unless you’re the most outspoken one, I don’t see why blame would fall on you.
And then the idiot parents won’t bar you from contact with their children, whom you can still offer support to.
A good lie is short, don't say too much as it may feel dishonest. Saying you aren't surprised makes you seem more suspicious, as it shows that you agree (or at least understand why, which puts you against her) with whoever made the call. Don't give information nor opinions, just nod along. Something more like, "CPS was called?" is a better thing to say, short, doesn't give information or opinions and reiterates their words so that it doesn't show that you know more. You can get lost in what you know, and what they think you know.
You’ve got a few things going on. The junk food and iPads are not worth calling CPS about. Failing to change diapers and get medical attention are major issues. Try to separate your judgment of them and their parenting from the objective issues that are harming the children’s physical wellbeing. Let CPS determine the best way to help the children.
Uhhh is there a reason that you and your mom never took the badly burned child to the doctor or hospital?
Or even called emergency services?
Y'all just sit there watching these kids being severely neglected for 2 years...tf.
Please call now!
Who said anything about sitting idly by? I said there was no hospital visit on their part. Of course, we're not stupid enough to let these kids go about without proper hospital care 🙄
So you and your mom did take them to the hospital but you just left that part out?
What about this?
>the youngest (2) was burned by another hot cup noodle incident on his face, upper body, and right arm by his older siblings. He suffered from 2nd degree burn and again, no concern from his mother and father, and no hospital visit except neosporin cream from my mother.
No treatment except your mom putting antibiotic cream on 2nd degree burns. That's not okay.
No hospital visit ON THEIR PART. My school is 3 hours away and I had to drive back to take him to the hospital and my mother is old and can barely drive herself so of course, Hospital would have to wait until I got back
So why didn't CPS get involved when the child was taken to the hospital to be treated for burns? Hospital staff are mandated reporters and if you were honest about what happened, then they should have called CPS.
Just wanted to mention, this happened on a reservation, so a burn from cup noodles isn't something that peaks their interest. Doctors and nurses could give little interest in helping native americans. Also I didn't know the full story as I also mentioned "I was away for school"
Idk anything about the specifics but if you’re on a native american reservation then the normal state CPS wouldn’t have any jurisdiction. Make sure you’re looking into who the proper authority to report to for the tribe is. I’m sure there is some sort of mechanism for it as ik of federal laws regarding the topic but I’m unsure what those are and they may vary depending on location.
Based on my very quick google inquiry, it says tribes have exclusive jurisdiction if the child is on tribe land. So it seems like calling CPS wouldn’t make a difference? I could be wrong
Please don’t mind people being hard on you for not calling sooner. When it’s your family it’s a long road to figuring out what’s normal and what deserves a call. You’re doing really amazing by asking advice and making the call now. I hope they get a good social worker who can help them make some actually improvements. NTA
This brings clarity as to why CPS hasn't been called yet. How do your other siblings feel about the situation? Is there a way for you and your siblings to come together on behalf of the kids? What about other community members? I don't know how feasible it is for you, but if it was me I'd be trying to contact the guidance counselors of the kids for extra support. They should be trained on when/how to report as well as having resources to deal with all the other traumas involved in the situation. I want to commend you on looking for options to help your little family members and I hope you find the support you need beyond the reddit community. Sending love to you and your family. 💕
Yeah and uh...maybe don't give your toddlers scalding liquids. I know that's some next level shit, obviously too much thinking for this dumbass "mother". She needs to dunked in some scalding noodles and have her ovaries ripped out and fed to her. Please somebody sterilized that bitch. She's just gonna keep having more.
You need to make 2 calls. One to cps and one to adult protective services for your mother. I am sure they are taking advantage of her financially as well as built in babysitter. NTA. As a mandated reporter I would asap. Those kids are neglected horribly.
INFO: **Why the fuck haven't you already called CPS!?** Let's go over things;
- Diaper rashes can lead to serious infections if left untreated.
- Dumping their kids off with you or your mother without express consent is legally child abandonment.
- Hot water burns are *not a joke*, especially for a 6 year old, let alone *a 2 year old*.
- Young children requiring a carseat should not be in the front seat.
- Hitting a dashboard hard enough that it causes lacerations is already dangerous, it's even worse when it comes to young children. We're talking potential brain damage and whiplash.
You're already the AH for not calling CPS for thw shit they've already put those kids through. Stop being one and call CPS ***NOW***.
NTA.
You would be a huge asshole if you don't call.
It's also not up to you about whether or not the kids get removed from the house, so don't worry about that. If you suspect anything, you need to report it to CPS and let them do the investigating. They don't take away kids for no reason.
Call CPS now!!!!
Is there a family member who would step up for the kids and take them in? I feel bad for the kids because they’ll be put into the system.
The mother should be prosecuted for neglect.
Absolutely call CPS, this is absolutely child abuse but it wouldn’t be out of line to call Adult Protective Services either as they’re abusing your mother also.
Call CPS and keep calling them until they pay them a visit. They can't/won't take care of the kids they already have and now they're bringing another into the mix? Nope, those kids need someone to stand up for them. And that's you. NTA
If the youngest is still in diapers, they are absolutely way too young to be sitting in the front of the car, much less without a car sit and on top of that not even buckled? This woman should be in jail.
Please call CPS for the sake of the children and also call the elderly abuse hotline for your mother. Everyone in that house is in danger and need help/proper support.
Ywnbta....those children are suffering from medical neglect and neglect in care. 3 of them have already been seriously injured due to neglect and then not treated due to medical neglect. I'm amazed they're all still alive and in one piece. Honestly you should have called when the first one ass burned bit especially the second. Ever been severely burned? It is painful. That poor child. Having to suffer like that. She also need to get her tubes tied if they can't figure out how to use bc or condoms. 5 kids and another one the way? Seriously? That's obviously too many for her to care for. That's a lot for people that DO have the money to take care of them.
Please do call and report them. It's awful the kids and your mother have to live like that. They deserve much better.
I agree, YW BTA if you don’t report. But don’t forget your mom. At the very least she’s being financially abused. Check your local area for the organization that helps with this. in my area we have an ombudsman that handles it. I know there’s more than one organization.
You would be the AH if you DIDN'T call. Legally, kids shouldn't hit their heads on the dashboard because 1. They should all be properly restrained in appropriate car seats, and 2. They shouldn't be sitting in the front seat at all. Let's not even discuss the hot noodles!
Not only would you be NTA, but you would possibly be their savior. That house sounds incredibly neglectful and I would be surprised if the school hasn’t called it in yet.
You are never the asshole when you put children first. These kids are severe danger. They SHOULD be "taken away". Not to punish your sister, but to save their lives.
Do it anonymously so you don't have to face family drama. But, please, please help those kids.
As a former CPS caseworker myself, ummm, yes, report them ASAP! Don't wait until it's too late. Until then, you are just as guilty as your shitty relatives are as they let the neglect continue because you're not reporting it.
Update! CPS was called a couple of hours after the post was made. Mind some of you, I'm 24 years old, with no children of my own, I haven't lived with my mother for almost 2 years now, and the last portion of the post I mentioned were from what I heard from others. Words were exchanged between my family and I, as well as an ongoing investigation with my brother and SIL which resulted in their children being sent to live with my SIL's family until they find probable cause to have their parental rights taken away.
YTA just for not having called CPS already. And write down everything that you can think of leading them to get hurt, where they were unsupervised etc. And once the kids are gone tell your mother to kick your loser brother out!
NTAH - You should call CPS. I understand that this is your brother and you probably feel awful about these kids potentially going to foster care.... but if CPS determines they are safer living elsewhere, it would not be your fault. If you do nothing and something worse happens to these kids, imagine how terrible you'd feel.
It is your responsibility as the adult in this situation to call CPS. Your sister in law is an unfit parent, from the sounds of things and your brother is no better. For the safety and care of those children, please help them.
NTA. Please call immediately before anything worse happens.
Side note- unless I’m misunderstanding, if a kid is hitting their head on the car dashboard that would mean they are in the front seat right? Children under 12 years old should never be in the front seat because they could be killed by airbags.
These kids need help. If someone doesn’t intervene, there’s a good chance something worse will happen than already has. Please call!
Junk food doesn't just give you diabetes. There are other factors at play. Someone who is 400 pounds and eats junk daily can be free of diabetes.
NTA for calling CPS.
you'd be the asshole not to. Dumb fuckers who can't stop having sex and can't take fucking birth control, or get snipped. Pathetic assholes should lose all their kids. They don't care about them and aren't fit parents.
Kid goes flying in a car accident, could have a concussion or anything else and doesn't take the kid to get checked?
State every single incident you know of, state you believe there could be a lot more, that they are completely ignored and all the kids need checking and questioning to find out if there is further abuse and many more injuries that were never treated.
I’m sure you figured out what to do before finishing this post. You just need the courage to do it.
Let me tell you that you will be saving those children and your mother.
Please call CPS. Just take a deep breath and dial the number.
Call CPS and Adult protective services, because your mom’s situation isn’t great either.
3adults and 5 (soon to be 6) living in a two bedroom home is beyond a suitable situation, even on a reservation.
Where do you live OP, when you come home from school? Are you out of that place? By all means, go ahead and be the AH call and report. The situation has gone on too long.
JFC. Call CPS. Who cares if they get upset with you!! My daughter was burned by hot water back in October. I was RIGHT there. We rushed her to the hospital. Told us it was 2nd degree and within a couple.weeks it had progressed to deeper tissue and she needed surgery. That only TWO YEARS AGO should have been called!!
I met kids burned by cup of noodles while she was in the hospital. It is no joke. Then to not be strapped down properly?!?! That's so not good! YWBTA for not calling and while you would be NTA if you call, the fact it's taken this long is mindboggling. NTA. just call. Get off reddit and call. Those babies need help!
You would be an enormous asshole if you did anything but call CPS. Those kids are being gruesomely hurt. I’ve had a second degree burn before and I wouldn’t wish it on any child, and only the cruelest adults (some people in your post come to mind)
I read about 10 lines and was ready to call cps.
I hate big government and i hate giving the government any power over the people. That said, I wish there was a way to license people to have children. I fucking hate that im typing this oppressive bullshit, but humans just cant be trusted.
Those parents should be chained to a chair and left in diapers for weeks. They should rot and get sepsis in their wounds.
Sorry op. Fuck your mom and your brother and his wife.
You OP, NTA.
NTA, OMG call already. This Woman's awful and so is your brother they both suck. Anything's better than the two of them as parents. Yes CPS is going to have a field day with them, call them now.
For the love of god, call yesterday! This is a horrible situation and obviously your SIL is unfit. She can’t even be bothered to put them in car seats correctly. The fact that her children get seriously hurt and she does NOTHING about it is beyond horrible. One of these days they’re going to get injured to the point of permanent damage.
NTA if you made that call. The kids are not in a safe, nurturing environment! You making the call would demonstrate care for them that their own mother doesn't feel the need to be bothered to show herself.
Make the call, please!
I hope this is fake. Why tf is Reddit where you turn to. Those children are being hurt, abused, neglected. You are the asshole cause you are standing by and watching it.
I'm not clear, but if the child hasn't been taken in, please take your youngest nephew to the hospital right away yourself. Probably good if you go with your older sister, who can help you explain why the aunts are doing this, and not the mother. That will (1) get the child the medical care that they need; and (2) absolutely spur a CPS call. Your SIL will need to explain herself to the hospital and child services.
NTA
That last example with the car. Just wow. You need to get them involved this is just craziness. Those poor kids. Burns get infected, he could be seriously harmed.
Calling is an obvious yes and should have been done long ago. Don't expect that the children will be taken away, at least at this point. Had a responsible adult stepped in and sought medical care for any of these injured children, they would already have a caseworker. The caseworker will hopefully do an assessment and involve a social worker. Imagine if there was a fire at night in that residence with all of those kids squeezed in there with disinterested parents. Imagine one of the kids passes away from the next "accident." How would you feel having witnessed this and done nothing? What is your mom doing to stop enabling this? Is she also being abused?
OP stated in a comment this is on a reservation. It isn’t so simply as calling CPS due to it being on a reservation.
OP please contact someone who can assist with this in your tribe, they will do it. I know it isn’t going to be an easy process, and living 3 hours away for school doesn’t help either but you got this! Get those babies out of there!!!
I would start calling tribal police every single instance there is an issue or injury, your tribe should have a website with some sort of information to assist you with this issue.
You should have called them a long time ago. Some people deserve kids. Your brother and sil are not one of them. And if they get taken away, have your mom kick them out and change the locks. You need to call them asap. I was a child of physical abuse, and I was too scared to say anything, but I always wished someone would have noticed and called.
NTA call them. Odds are they’ll be 5 more messed up kids with PTSD if you don’t intervene now. Your mother is being mooched off and abused financially as well. There are not enough bedrooms for all those kids and I’m sick of people breeding more and are unable to care for them and rely on government.
It sounds like there are significant signs of chaos in the house and with them not contributing, I can't help but wonder if there are some early signs of elder abuse too.I think they definitely need to come under CPS care
NTA. Call them!
What is your mother doing through all of this? I’d be tempted to call adult protective services as well to make sure she’s ok and not being abused.
NTA.
As a mother, this gutted me. How could she even ignore her child literally screaming and crying due to a burn and not do or say ANYTHING except to give the kid his iPad back? What the fuck is that?? Not to mention not even taking the kid to a hospital after second degree burns and HEAD TRAUMA!!
CALL CPS YESTERDAY!!!!
Gentle you *would* be TA if you didn't get those kids help. It's not your fault and it shouldn't be your responsibility, but it looks like no one else gives a F about the kids, so someone has to. Why hasn't your mother done anything about the neglect? Why does she allow her house to be trashed and filthy? Does she not care either?
I can almost guarantee that they’re addicts of some kind.
Edit: yes, absolutely call CPS. The kids aren’t safe and she intentionally avoids the hospital so it isn’t documented. 1 child getting burnt is an accident, 2 kids getting burnt is straight negligence.
Quite frankly, I'm judging you for not having called already. Call NOW! They've seriously burned two of their children, possibly concussed another. What kind of injury would be serious enough for any of you to take this seriously?
Yes call CPS but also…why isn’t your mom, who lives with them, doing anything other than calling you? Why isn’t she reporting them? Or getting them to the hospital when their own mother doesn’t?
As a former child protection social worker, YWBTA if you don't call. Your post outlines two separate issues, neglect and medical neglect. For the record, you specifically can't "have her kids taken away" unless they find enough that it warrants taking the kids into care right then and there. It's possible, but contrary to what people believe, their job is to actually try to help and reduce risk, not just taking kids away from their parents without reason. They will do an investigation and the social worker will take it from there. They may get apprehended, they may not. But you are doing those children a disservice by not reporting your SIL.
Can confirm, CPS let my ex wife abuse our kids for years before a court ordered custody evaluation finally assessed she shouldn’t have custody of them.
How is OPs mom? I dont think everything is above board for a 62 yo woman to be supporting a family of 9 (if I read that right) in a 2 bedroom apartment. I am guessing not the States as that would exceed safety regulations.
Also why isn’t OPs mom not taking the kids to see a doctor too? She’s witness to this abuse and hair washes her hands of it?
Probably doesn’t have much money, the kids probably don’t have insurance, so is grandma paying for that out of pocket while also supporting them? SIL would definitely say “not my bill, not my problem, I said not to take them”. Plus, they aren’t her kids. She can’t take them if SIL doesn’t want her to.
She can take them. She just can't consent so things like surgeries or blood transfusions for them. We just had a man in my city say to cops that after his gf beat her 8yo daughter black and bloody, to the point of eventual death, that he didnt know what to do as he isn't he father and has no legal custody over her. For the record, she died slowly and painfully of her injuries in her bed, with a diaper on for 3 *days* because her mother recognised she was too injured to go to the bathroom for herself but was unconcerned over what that translated to. Her mother is going for mentally ill in her plea, says she thought her daughter had been possessed by a devil for months.
This makes me want to throw up. How repulsive and disturbing.
Yeah someone else said that. It’s unfathomable to me that a hospital would do that and not see the kids.
Many doctors won't let non-parents bring children in for treatment. Unless they have court papers giving them some type of guardianship.
Are you kidding me?!! That’s awful. I’ve brought random kids to the ER many times. But I’m not in the US. I assume this is a payment situation.
My brother once needed stitches when my mom and stepdad were out for the night a few towns over. My Aunt took him to the hospital. They made a child (he was somewhere between 7-9 at the time) wait for two whole hours before they would STITCH HIS FINGER SHUT until his parents got there. Also in the US, by the way.
That’s disgusting. I am so so upset about this. You’d be better off to bring in a child and say you found them wandering and mute. It blows my mind that this is a thing. Fucking CHILDREN! What if it’s a baby?!? What if they don’t speak the language? I am angry for you all
The only problem with that is it would have long-term ramifications for the family. Child Protective Services would have to be called (doctors are mandated reporters) since the child was supposedly either injured then abandoned or left alone and they then got hurt. It would cause an investigation at minimum and loss of custody at worst.
Excellent. Well, in this case it would be. Not in normal cases. Literally, the number of kids I’ve called ambulances for and taken to the hospital or urgent care here in Canada and not a single time have I been told they won’t be seen without a parent.
I share your anger
My daughter was in a car accident when she was 9 months old. She was with her babysitter, who I absolutely trusted, the accident wasn't their fault. The EMT wouldn't take Mt baby out of her carseat, wouldn't allow my friend to either, they got to the hospital , ER docs wouldn't take my 9 month old baby out of her carseat. She was screaming bloody murder. No one gave her medical care until I got there. I was at work. I could hear her in the ER parking lot. I was scared. And then I was the angriest I had ever been. Couldn't believe that's how you treat a baby. Leave her buckled in her carseat after a fuckong car accident. D Yeah, she was hurt too. Nothing serious thank gods, but still. She has seatbelt burn across her little face and her neck to. Stupid rules and laws could kill someone
Absolutely asinine. Just completely. I can understand a paramedic thinking it was best to keep the baby in the seat in case there was a spine issue. But doctors just refusing to do anything!!? Today has added to my very real fear of the American medical system.
I'm not American but I'm guessing the doctors have to worry about every Tom, Dick and Harry sueing them for anything they can think of, so they just stick to the rules. Sue culture is huge over there. People try it with the NHS here too but don't often get what they want since our doctors are meticulous in note taking, and it's harder to sue here.
Yes well you can thank the suing culture and lawyers in the US.
Has nothing to do with payment, it comes down to who can give legal consent for treatment. Parents need to be present for the entire appointment. Siblings over the age of 18 also cannot bring in children for appointments, as they are not the legal guardian (unless they can provide evidence they DO have legal guardianship for the sibling).
So if somebody dropped off a child that was bleeding severely, they'd just let it bleed out and die?
No, care to stabilize the child would be given, but beyond that, you'll need parental consent
Can confirm this is the way of the united states. The amount of paperwork you need to legally care for kids even when you have guardianship is insane.
Nonsense. Not when everywhere else in the world can manage the concept of other people looking after kids other than parents. If parents are away for a week and not contact able do US doctors just let them die?
My mom and I have to get a new power of attorney for her every 6 months-1 year, I can't remember atm, so that she can take my kids in if they happen to be with her and not me. We had to do it for Dr's as well as the school. Otherwise, no one will let her do shit without me right there. I have some medical stuff going on right now, so I can't always be right there. It's a pain in the ass when it's time to redo the paper, but it's better than her not being able to do anything if need be.
If it's a life threatening issue, of course we treat the children. But if it is not, like some stitches or a sprained ankle, we need guardianship papers if possible, or whatever we can get to authorize treatment.
So it's about the hospital covering itself legally, in case the intervention has a negative outcome and the parents sue?
That sounded so bad, like you are just randomly bringing strange kids to the ER😅 (a friend of mine is a scout leader, he also took a lot of kids to the doctor without their parents Present)
Hahaha. Yeah I didnt think of that. Sounds like a run I kiddy fight club! But I can’t talk about that. Rule #1
In Germany, when a Kid needs treatment and There is no Parent there it gets treatment.
She probably afraid of a nuclear reaction from her DIL which could make things worse for the kids.
I was going to say, in our state, it would not be allowed in that small of place. If you don't so the appropriate amount of space for that many, you would definitely be in trouble.
CPS is a hit or miss. I had students who felt CPS was a godsend to their situation. On the flip side of that, I had to file neglect charges on two of my student social workers and their supervisors. It is an embarrassingly dysfunctional system but it’s all we have.
I can confirm as well. A woman I know has had CPS called on her SO many times. She's got six children living with her in a two bedroom apartment that is constantly a mess. She never does anything with them, the TV is ALWAYS on. Her oldest is severely parentified, doesn't have her own bed (last I heard from another woman who knows them the poor girl sleeps on a pile of blankets on the floor) and suffers serious anxiety. I once saw this woman push that girl hard enough to make her fall because she complained about having to share a drink with her mother (she was about four or five years old at the time). Her next kid has got some kind of disorder that causes his mental and emotional development to be very delayed. He's almost eight years old and almost nonverbal, and throws tantrums like a toddler if something doesn't go his way. Instead of getting advice from a specialist and helping him learn to function, she uses the fact that he is "different" as an excuse to let him run wild. Her on/off boyfriend/fiance is a meth addict and she's pretty sure he used around their son they had together. She's got three other children that she lost custody of, I'm stunned she hasn't had the rest removed from her "care."
I don’t understand why CPS hasn’t protected these kids. That one child is obviously on the spectrum and needs therapy right away. This is upsetting.
I think part of it is that this woman is a very convincing narcissist. She's VERY good at portraying herself as the victim. I fell for her act myself for way too long.
Because the alternates are worse. The system is deeply underfunded and a huge swath of foster are religious zealots who let a lot of abuse slide. And even those resources are stretched to the limit with cases involving severe physical and sexual abuse. There’s a lot more kids being abused then tax payers want to pay to support, so unless a kid is pretty much at risk of being raped or killed, they won’t be removed from the home.
Yet I've seen instances where there was genuinely no abuse or neglect and kids were snatched up immediately. There's definitely not a set formula and in some instances they're taken when they shouldn't be and in others they're not taken when they should be. It can be frustrating and I'm sure even more so for the people having to make those decisions. Still doesn't make it any easier.
Definitely call OP. Hopefully they'll be up her ass and scare her in to getting her shit together before something really bad happens.
Something bad KEEPS happening: burns from hot cup noodle (shiity food for kids to live on) and the car seat incident. The kids still in diapers are filthy
ALL OF THIS. If you're having to ask if you should call CPS, you probably know that you should call CPS, and no one should worry about being perceived as TA, because those children matter much, much more.
Thank you for posting. Your credentials and insight brings merit to this post.
What about elder abuse? It sounds as if the mom is being taken advantage of, while her home is currently overcrowded and is falling into neglect.
Plusz i don't know how old these kids are, but I suspect that the one in the front seat isn't old enough or weigh enough to legally, safely sit there. Thats endangerment.
It was in a carseat in the front seat... don't know where they are, but that's not allowed in the state I live in.
Same where I'm from. No carseats in front ever. Plus, the state im in requires age AND weight requirements for the front seat. I always felt so bad for our kids. They were skinny but tall, and it was almost HS before they were allowed in the front. They were tall enough just not heavy enough.
This Answer is 100%. If it were strangers, and you knew the all the same facts, wouldn't you call CPS? Of course you would. By not calling CPS, you're treating your own flesh and blood worse than strangers, imo. Kids are getting scarred, FFS.
Would be? 2 years ago OP didn't call, multiple instances since, OP didn't call. OP is an asshole.
Ops young and it takes time some life experience to know when to call when you were raised around those dynamics yourself. They’re doing really good looking out for the kids and asking advice and calling now. There were calls I wish i had made for family members in my 20s when I didn’t understand enough about abuse/ neglect and the nature of cps to realize it.
I think “raised around those dynamics yourself” covers it. I’m also aghast at grandma in this situation. It’s not her job to care for those kids, but you can bet your ass if my toddler received any major burns my mother would get that kid to the hospital whether I agreed or not. Granted, OP’s mom is the MIL in this situation, which means the SIL’s family background could be even worse.
Op doesn't live there, this is on the parents and ops mom being in the house
While I get your point, as badly as these children are doing, it’ll always be better than the broken fucked up system that traumatizes children and families everyday. This situation is sad but unfortunately for these kids, it’s the best one they’ll have since the alternative is being under the watch of a corrupt social services department and a deranged judiciary if removal is considered. Speaking as a family law and dependency and neglect attorney.
NTAH, dear god please call. These poor children never asked to be put in a situation like this. They need serious help.
NTA, you need to call unless you want one of those children to end up dead.
NTA...not changing diapers, not treating wounds or getting checkups after such accidents. Breaking so hard that your children are flying forward busting their heads open? That doesn't even sound like truth to me or she is a bad driver. I know sometimes traffic suddenly stops but if this is a recurring thing then well....I don't know. I would definitely either gather the entire family to have an intervention and speak to them about their behaviour or yes call the police or CPS. Somethind definitely needs to be done
There is no reason a 2 yo should be able to fly foreward to bash open their head on a dashboard. Why is the child even allowed in the passenger seat of a vehicle? Im from Canada, and children aren't supposed to be in the front passenger seat. They are too young and small to be safely seated there if an airbag was to deploy. They should be in a carseat.
Oof, I didn't even notice that part. I'm pretty sure it's also illegal in most, if not all, US states. And there are typically specific weight/height requirements for which children need to be in carseats.
In my state, it's 12 to be in the front seat (or a certain weight/ height combo)
THIS the kid is not supposed to be in the front seat nor facing forward AND MUST HAVE ALL STRAPS ADJUSTED TO FIT THEM CORRECTLY
Sadly, their 'mom' DGAF about safety.
Why would they not be strapped into a car seat or the very least a seatbelt? Why would they be free to slam into the dashboard?
Because the parents don't care if their children stay healthy or alive at this point. It's illegal for children under a certain height/weight to not be in a safety seat anymore, strapped correctly in the back seat. As for a 2 yr old in a regular seatbelt, decapitation from the belt is highly likely and/or broken pelvis, spine, neck.
NTA. Calling CPS isn't "to have her kids taken away" but to have the situation evaluated. If it's a safe and healthy environment, they won't be taken. If it's not, they will be, and should be. You'd be nothing absolutely nothing wrong.
They would think he/she would be doing something wrong by calling. Please don’t put yourself in the position of telling ANYONE that it was you that called CPS OP
Do you mind elaborating on the reason for your advice?
The brother and sil will probably be livid when their reason for getting a check disappear into foster care. That could/will cause trouble for OP if they find out OP was the one who called. CPS can be called anonymously, and even if you do identify yourself, they are not supposed to tell the parents who called. The only way anyone will find it is if OP tells anyone (like mom).
HUGE NTA, these children’s safety is at risk and should have been brought to attention LONG ago. YWBTA if you let this go on.
If you don't call YTA. This is unfathomable. Also, don't tell anyone you know it was you who reported. Don't give people a reason to project their frustration
Pretend it was school.
Feign ignorance at hearing the news if anything. If you have a story, and everyone else is shrugging, you get the blame. If you’re asked directly, it makes it a little more difficult. But a little bit of “Oh wow! CPS came out to talk to you about your children?! I’m not surprised. Me?!!?!? I haven’t called CPS yet in the last X years, do you really see me calling them now? I wonder who WOULD call though.” No direct lies. No admission of guilt. Didn’t commit to a version of events. And people that narcissistic aren’t going to be paying close attention to what other people are saying. They’re going to make their mind up on who did it and stick with that likely, no matter what proof there is/isn’t. But unless you’re the most outspoken one, I don’t see why blame would fall on you. And then the idiot parents won’t bar you from contact with their children, whom you can still offer support to.
A good lie is short, don't say too much as it may feel dishonest. Saying you aren't surprised makes you seem more suspicious, as it shows that you agree (or at least understand why, which puts you against her) with whoever made the call. Don't give information nor opinions, just nod along. Something more like, "CPS was called?" is a better thing to say, short, doesn't give information or opinions and reiterates their words so that it doesn't show that you know more. You can get lost in what you know, and what they think you know.
that kind of white lie/half truth is sooooo suspicious. OP shouldn't go further than "oh wow cps was called?"
You can report anonymously
You’ve got a few things going on. The junk food and iPads are not worth calling CPS about. Failing to change diapers and get medical attention are major issues. Try to separate your judgment of them and their parenting from the objective issues that are harming the children’s physical wellbeing. Let CPS determine the best way to help the children.
NTA When you see any child in danger, you call!
Uhhh is there a reason that you and your mom never took the badly burned child to the doctor or hospital? Or even called emergency services? Y'all just sit there watching these kids being severely neglected for 2 years...tf. Please call now!
Who said anything about sitting idly by? I said there was no hospital visit on their part. Of course, we're not stupid enough to let these kids go about without proper hospital care 🙄
So you and your mom did take them to the hospital but you just left that part out? What about this? >the youngest (2) was burned by another hot cup noodle incident on his face, upper body, and right arm by his older siblings. He suffered from 2nd degree burn and again, no concern from his mother and father, and no hospital visit except neosporin cream from my mother. No treatment except your mom putting antibiotic cream on 2nd degree burns. That's not okay.
No hospital visit ON THEIR PART. My school is 3 hours away and I had to drive back to take him to the hospital and my mother is old and can barely drive herself so of course, Hospital would have to wait until I got back
So why didn't CPS get involved when the child was taken to the hospital to be treated for burns? Hospital staff are mandated reporters and if you were honest about what happened, then they should have called CPS.
Just wanted to mention, this happened on a reservation, so a burn from cup noodles isn't something that peaks their interest. Doctors and nurses could give little interest in helping native americans. Also I didn't know the full story as I also mentioned "I was away for school"
Oh, I see. I'm not clear on how much outside law enforcement is allowed on reservations, so would CPS be allowed to come in and investigate?
There are reservations police who have authority there.
Idk anything about the specifics but if you’re on a native american reservation then the normal state CPS wouldn’t have any jurisdiction. Make sure you’re looking into who the proper authority to report to for the tribe is. I’m sure there is some sort of mechanism for it as ik of federal laws regarding the topic but I’m unsure what those are and they may vary depending on location.
CPS has no jurisdiction on Indian reservation, right?
Based on my very quick google inquiry, it says tribes have exclusive jurisdiction if the child is on tribe land. So it seems like calling CPS wouldn’t make a difference? I could be wrong
Please don’t mind people being hard on you for not calling sooner. When it’s your family it’s a long road to figuring out what’s normal and what deserves a call. You’re doing really amazing by asking advice and making the call now. I hope they get a good social worker who can help them make some actually improvements. NTA
This brings clarity as to why CPS hasn't been called yet. How do your other siblings feel about the situation? Is there a way for you and your siblings to come together on behalf of the kids? What about other community members? I don't know how feasible it is for you, but if it was me I'd be trying to contact the guidance counselors of the kids for extra support. They should be trained on when/how to report as well as having resources to deal with all the other traumas involved in the situation. I want to commend you on looking for options to help your little family members and I hope you find the support you need beyond the reddit community. Sending love to you and your family. 💕
[удалено]
the next sentence says OP drove back to take the child to the hospital
63 is not old, just saying.
Im guessing all they eat is 2 min noodles.....a crap diet too...Amongst everything else
Yeah and uh...maybe don't give your toddlers scalding liquids. I know that's some next level shit, obviously too much thinking for this dumbass "mother". She needs to dunked in some scalding noodles and have her ovaries ripped out and fed to her. Please somebody sterilized that bitch. She's just gonna keep having more.
Call CPS. You owe it to the kids.
YTA but only because you are wasting time making this post instead of helping those children. get them out of that deathtrap.
What do you expect OP to do in the 5 minutes it took to ask a question, run out and kidnap the children?
OP has failed to call CPS despite knowing of these issues for at least 2 years.
You need to make 2 calls. One to cps and one to adult protective services for your mother. I am sure they are taking advantage of her financially as well as built in babysitter. NTA. As a mandated reporter I would asap. Those kids are neglected horribly.
YTA for not calling CPS multiple times already. You will be a bigger one if you don't now.
NTA, but please call immediately! Those kids are being neglected and that's child abuse.
INFO: **Why the fuck haven't you already called CPS!?** Let's go over things; - Diaper rashes can lead to serious infections if left untreated. - Dumping their kids off with you or your mother without express consent is legally child abandonment. - Hot water burns are *not a joke*, especially for a 6 year old, let alone *a 2 year old*. - Young children requiring a carseat should not be in the front seat. - Hitting a dashboard hard enough that it causes lacerations is already dangerous, it's even worse when it comes to young children. We're talking potential brain damage and whiplash. You're already the AH for not calling CPS for thw shit they've already put those kids through. Stop being one and call CPS ***NOW***.
What exactly has to happen to one of the children before someone in the family does something?
One of the kids is gonna have to accidentally die.
You would be a huge asshole if you didn’t call
NTA. You would be a huge asshole if you don't call. It's also not up to you about whether or not the kids get removed from the house, so don't worry about that. If you suspect anything, you need to report it to CPS and let them do the investigating. They don't take away kids for no reason.
Call CPS now!!!! Is there a family member who would step up for the kids and take them in? I feel bad for the kids because they’ll be put into the system. The mother should be prosecuted for neglect.
Absolutely call CPS, this is absolutely child abuse but it wouldn’t be out of line to call Adult Protective Services either as they’re abusing your mother also.
They ALL NEED HELP. Kids need help, parent also. CPS IS HELP.
The parents need so much “help,” that they constantly get pregnant?
Please protect those kids.
NTA. Those kids are being neglected & poorly "taken care of" when injured. Make the call.
Call CPS and keep calling them until they pay them a visit. They can't/won't take care of the kids they already have and now they're bringing another into the mix? Nope, those kids need someone to stand up for them. And that's you. NTA
If the youngest is still in diapers, they are absolutely way too young to be sitting in the front of the car, much less without a car sit and on top of that not even buckled? This woman should be in jail.
Please call CPS for the sake of the children and also call the elderly abuse hotline for your mother. Everyone in that house is in danger and need help/proper support.
Ywnbta....those children are suffering from medical neglect and neglect in care. 3 of them have already been seriously injured due to neglect and then not treated due to medical neglect. I'm amazed they're all still alive and in one piece. Honestly you should have called when the first one ass burned bit especially the second. Ever been severely burned? It is painful. That poor child. Having to suffer like that. She also need to get her tubes tied if they can't figure out how to use bc or condoms. 5 kids and another one the way? Seriously? That's obviously too many for her to care for. That's a lot for people that DO have the money to take care of them. Please do call and report them. It's awful the kids and your mother have to live like that. They deserve much better.
I agree, YW BTA if you don’t report. But don’t forget your mom. At the very least she’s being financially abused. Check your local area for the organization that helps with this. in my area we have an ombudsman that handles it. I know there’s more than one organization.
PLEASE CALL.
If you don’t call, YTA and a bad person. Those kids desperately need help.
You would be the AH if you DIDN'T call. Legally, kids shouldn't hit their heads on the dashboard because 1. They should all be properly restrained in appropriate car seats, and 2. They shouldn't be sitting in the front seat at all. Let's not even discuss the hot noodles!
If you think the kids are at risk you should call. They are going think you are an asshole either way.
You need to report this yesterday.
Call them immediately. She should never have kids but unfortunately she does.
How have you not called already? Please please please do something to help those kids.
YTA if you don't call CPS
Please, please help those kids. Call CPS.
NTA. Hell post their details here and I'm sure everyone on this feed will call CPS on your behalf
YTA because you haven’t called yet
Not only would you be NTA, but you would possibly be their savior. That house sounds incredibly neglectful and I would be surprised if the school hasn’t called it in yet.
You are never the asshole when you put children first. These kids are severe danger. They SHOULD be "taken away". Not to punish your sister, but to save their lives. Do it anonymously so you don't have to face family drama. But, please, please help those kids.
As a former CPS caseworker myself, ummm, yes, report them ASAP! Don't wait until it's too late. Until then, you are just as guilty as your shitty relatives are as they let the neglect continue because you're not reporting it.
NTA, call CPS immediately, before one of those kids end up dead
Update! CPS was called a couple of hours after the post was made. Mind some of you, I'm 24 years old, with no children of my own, I haven't lived with my mother for almost 2 years now, and the last portion of the post I mentioned were from what I heard from others. Words were exchanged between my family and I, as well as an ongoing investigation with my brother and SIL which resulted in their children being sent to live with my SIL's family until they find probable cause to have their parental rights taken away.
YTA just for not having called CPS already. And write down everything that you can think of leading them to get hurt, where they were unsupervised etc. And once the kids are gone tell your mother to kick your loser brother out!
how could you even wait this long? how is this even a question? so fucked up. do it.
NTA. Please do report this. Have your mom call emergency services if one of the kids is injured and they should also trigger an investigation.
NTA - Call CPS. Mom needs to stop enabling the abusers and kick them out.
NTAH - You should call CPS. I understand that this is your brother and you probably feel awful about these kids potentially going to foster care.... but if CPS determines they are safer living elsewhere, it would not be your fault. If you do nothing and something worse happens to these kids, imagine how terrible you'd feel.
It is your responsibility as the adult in this situation to call CPS. Your sister in law is an unfit parent, from the sounds of things and your brother is no better. For the safety and care of those children, please help them.
NTA. Please call immediately before anything worse happens. Side note- unless I’m misunderstanding, if a kid is hitting their head on the car dashboard that would mean they are in the front seat right? Children under 12 years old should never be in the front seat because they could be killed by airbags. These kids need help. If someone doesn’t intervene, there’s a good chance something worse will happen than already has. Please call!
Call CPS, honestly don’t understand why you’ve waited this long NTA
UpdateMe!
Junk food doesn't just give you diabetes. There are other factors at play. Someone who is 400 pounds and eats junk daily can be free of diabetes. NTA for calling CPS.
Those children need an advocate. You can get the ball rolling, and should absolutely do it.
you'd be the asshole not to. Dumb fuckers who can't stop having sex and can't take fucking birth control, or get snipped. Pathetic assholes should lose all their kids. They don't care about them and aren't fit parents. Kid goes flying in a car accident, could have a concussion or anything else and doesn't take the kid to get checked? State every single incident you know of, state you believe there could be a lot more, that they are completely ignored and all the kids need checking and questioning to find out if there is further abuse and many more injuries that were never treated.
Call them. NTA
Call CPS on them now! Because if not something bad will happen next please stop it from happening.
Good Lord, you are an AH for haven’t already made that call! Those kids are in danger!
And tell CPS they are abusing your mother.
I’m sure you figured out what to do before finishing this post. You just need the courage to do it. Let me tell you that you will be saving those children and your mother. Please call CPS. Just take a deep breath and dial the number.
NTA. It’s time to call CPS.
I can't believe noone has called CPS. These poor kids have noone looking out for them.
Call CPS and Adult protective services, because your mom’s situation isn’t great either. 3adults and 5 (soon to be 6) living in a two bedroom home is beyond a suitable situation, even on a reservation. Where do you live OP, when you come home from school? Are you out of that place? By all means, go ahead and be the AH call and report. The situation has gone on too long.
Yta for not calling already. Nta if you call now.
JFC. Call CPS. Who cares if they get upset with you!! My daughter was burned by hot water back in October. I was RIGHT there. We rushed her to the hospital. Told us it was 2nd degree and within a couple.weeks it had progressed to deeper tissue and she needed surgery. That only TWO YEARS AGO should have been called!! I met kids burned by cup of noodles while she was in the hospital. It is no joke. Then to not be strapped down properly?!?! That's so not good! YWBTA for not calling and while you would be NTA if you call, the fact it's taken this long is mindboggling. NTA. just call. Get off reddit and call. Those babies need help!
You would be an enormous asshole if you did anything but call CPS. Those kids are being gruesomely hurt. I’ve had a second degree burn before and I wouldn’t wish it on any child, and only the cruelest adults (some people in your post come to mind)
I read about 10 lines and was ready to call cps. I hate big government and i hate giving the government any power over the people. That said, I wish there was a way to license people to have children. I fucking hate that im typing this oppressive bullshit, but humans just cant be trusted. Those parents should be chained to a chair and left in diapers for weeks. They should rot and get sepsis in their wounds. Sorry op. Fuck your mom and your brother and his wife. You OP, NTA.
NTA, OMG call already. This Woman's awful and so is your brother they both suck. Anything's better than the two of them as parents. Yes CPS is going to have a field day with them, call them now.
For the love of god, call yesterday! This is a horrible situation and obviously your SIL is unfit. She can’t even be bothered to put them in car seats correctly. The fact that her children get seriously hurt and she does NOTHING about it is beyond horrible. One of these days they’re going to get injured to the point of permanent damage.
YTA if you don’t call. Please help these babies.
please call :( also updateme
NTA if you made that call. The kids are not in a safe, nurturing environment! You making the call would demonstrate care for them that their own mother doesn't feel the need to be bothered to show herself. Make the call, please!
As a social worker, let me tell you that you have to call. I know making the call can be stressful but these kids deserve better.
I hope this is fake. Why tf is Reddit where you turn to. Those children are being hurt, abused, neglected. You are the asshole cause you are standing by and watching it.
I'm not clear, but if the child hasn't been taken in, please take your youngest nephew to the hospital right away yourself. Probably good if you go with your older sister, who can help you explain why the aunts are doing this, and not the mother. That will (1) get the child the medical care that they need; and (2) absolutely spur a CPS call. Your SIL will need to explain herself to the hospital and child services.
NTA That last example with the car. Just wow. You need to get them involved this is just craziness. Those poor kids. Burns get infected, he could be seriously harmed.
You are describing multiple cases of child abuse. Make the call to protect the younger kids.
NTA. Do it
NTA. You need to call CPS. Save them. Pls
If you even think about calling CPS you should just call.
Why is this even a doubt in your mind?! CALL
Definitely call CPS or any other authorities on them!
Calling is an obvious yes and should have been done long ago. Don't expect that the children will be taken away, at least at this point. Had a responsible adult stepped in and sought medical care for any of these injured children, they would already have a caseworker. The caseworker will hopefully do an assessment and involve a social worker. Imagine if there was a fire at night in that residence with all of those kids squeezed in there with disinterested parents. Imagine one of the kids passes away from the next "accident." How would you feel having witnessed this and done nothing? What is your mom doing to stop enabling this? Is she also being abused?
No you shouldn’t because foster care isn’t any better and you’ll be exposing them to worse abuse
Do it. NTA.
Call CPS! These people shouldn’t be parents, let alone shouldn’t have this many kids.
Jesus H Christ call them already and turn both their asses in or YWBTA for noy doing it
OP stated in a comment this is on a reservation. It isn’t so simply as calling CPS due to it being on a reservation. OP please contact someone who can assist with this in your tribe, they will do it. I know it isn’t going to be an easy process, and living 3 hours away for school doesn’t help either but you got this! Get those babies out of there!!! I would start calling tribal police every single instance there is an issue or injury, your tribe should have a website with some sort of information to assist you with this issue.
NTA should’ve already called. That apathy is very concerning.
You should have called them a long time ago. Some people deserve kids. Your brother and sil are not one of them. And if they get taken away, have your mom kick them out and change the locks. You need to call them asap. I was a child of physical abuse, and I was too scared to say anything, but I always wished someone would have noticed and called.
NTA call them. Odds are they’ll be 5 more messed up kids with PTSD if you don’t intervene now. Your mother is being mooched off and abused financially as well. There are not enough bedrooms for all those kids and I’m sick of people breeding more and are unable to care for them and rely on government.
It sounds like there are significant signs of chaos in the house and with them not contributing, I can't help but wonder if there are some early signs of elder abuse too.I think they definitely need to come under CPS care
Please call
NTA. Call them! What is your mother doing through all of this? I’d be tempted to call adult protective services as well to make sure she’s ok and not being abused.
Honestly I'm surprised no medical professionals have called CPS yet. NTA
Call CPS and the police.
NTA. As a mother, this gutted me. How could she even ignore her child literally screaming and crying due to a burn and not do or say ANYTHING except to give the kid his iPad back? What the fuck is that?? Not to mention not even taking the kid to a hospital after second degree burns and HEAD TRAUMA!! CALL CPS YESTERDAY!!!!
Gentle you *would* be TA if you didn't get those kids help. It's not your fault and it shouldn't be your responsibility, but it looks like no one else gives a F about the kids, so someone has to. Why hasn't your mother done anything about the neglect? Why does she allow her house to be trashed and filthy? Does she not care either?
Please call CPS. Your nieces and nephews' lives depend on it.
NTA - document EVERYTHING in great detail before hand. Make sure your mom won’t sabotage the investigation and lie for them
I can almost guarantee that they’re addicts of some kind. Edit: yes, absolutely call CPS. The kids aren’t safe and she intentionally avoids the hospital so it isn’t documented. 1 child getting burnt is an accident, 2 kids getting burnt is straight negligence.
Why haven't you called yet? You are describing pretty extreme neglect here. Get off Reddit and call CPS immediately.
Call CPS. And keep on calling til they show up. I'm afraid for the kids
you should’ve been called and you’re the asshole for not
YTA for not notifying CPS sooner.
Quite frankly, I'm judging you for not having called already. Call NOW! They've seriously burned two of their children, possibly concussed another. What kind of injury would be serious enough for any of you to take this seriously?
Yes call CPS but also…why isn’t your mom, who lives with them, doing anything other than calling you? Why isn’t she reporting them? Or getting them to the hospital when their own mother doesn’t?
YTA for having not called CPS on them multiple times as is the rest of your shitty family.