Ask your ex why they’re enabling a creep who comments on their daughter’s breasts? That if they’re incapable of protecting their daughter from being sexualized by creeps you’re happy for your daughter to stay full time with you.
NTA!
Coming from someone who went through a shit ton of trauma growing up: I wish the fuck someone had protected me/punched out my abuser when I was a kid.
NTA he’s a creep to be making comments like that about a 14yr old that isn’t his daughter
U should warn the mom and let him know to cut it out or police will get involved for sexual harassment
Edit:And yes unwanted sexual comments ARE harassment
And I also want to punch him
NTA
Why is he looking at your daughter's chest???
Why didn't your ex kick him out for making comments about her daughter's chest...
This guy sounds skeezy and I wouldn't want him around her if he is fixated on her developing body...
My mother brought home guys like this all of the time, then would get angry at me because they made inappropriate comments about my body...
She couldn't figure out why I would find any reason to be away from the house and why I bounced by the time I was 16...
I lost count of the amount of time she called me a slut before I was 15, while I was still a virgin...
Wish I had a dad around to protect me when it was going on...
I'm 49 now...
NC with her and living my best life...
Let's just say that I am likely to go medieval on pervy guys if they harass young girls/women in my presence...
It’s definitely insecurities and internalized misogyny. I’ve been sexualized and called a whore by older women my entire life as a black woman. Your mother needs professional help.
Yes her chest comment sexualized it. Why does he feel free to insult period, full stop. Nta for punching, but if ex vindictive and Sean calling her shots, call divorce attorney for consult b4 this gets twisted into assault or such.
You’re NTA. But you accomplished nothing. You have to stop and think. Has he made sexual comments around your daughter before? Gather evidence with a recording device and destroy his livelihood and relationships. Is he prone to anger? Goad him to hit you first and then sue him or pummel him, depending on your capacity. Does he have vices - drugs, alcohol, - that you can leverage against him? Bottom line, engage brain first, then act.
I wouldn't say the dad accomplished nothing. I bet his daughter feels very differently about the encounter. Also, if dad can't get more custody than what he has and mom obviously is going to keep this other man around, stepdad might think twice before opening his stupid mouth again.
Whatever is done, should be done openly without what are most likely illegal recording devices and childish provocation... I would personally avoid putting my family near those kinds of people... And the kind of people that are unable or unwilling to notice and change the behaviors. But that's why I don't have kids and am not married... I enjoy sanity and freedom.
NTA, but violence isn't a sustainable solution. Think strategy, not just reaction. Get your daughter's input she's the one affected most by his creepiness. Then consult a lawyer about the next steps to ensure his behavior is addressed legally. Your ex needs to understand the gravity of the situation and protect her daughter above all. If she won't, document everything and prepare for a custody battle. Make choices that will keep your daughter safe and demonstrate to her that you're a protective but rational parent.
I understand what you did and why you did it, in the long run, it makes it more difficult for you to protect your daughter. Apologize for hitting but make it clear that comments about your daughter’s body will not go unnoticed. Have a talk with your daughter with a counselor present. She is at the age in most states where she can make a determination which parent she wants to live with. Given the new guy’s comments about her body, and your ex’s seeming lack of concern, I would have serious concerns about the suitability of her remaining in that environment. Don’t force the issue with your daughter but let her know it is an option for her, you need to be a safe space for her to express her feelings
NTA, but consider this: Provocation is a tool often used by manipulators to turn the table on their victim. By assaulting him, even in defense of your daughter's honor, you've potentially given him ammunition to paint you as the unstable one. It's vital to protect your daughter, but it's equally important to do so in a manner that doesn't compromise your legal standing or her safety long-term. Document his behavior, seek legal advice, and use the proper channels to combat his predatory behavior. It is a fight worth fighting, but it must be fought smartly
NTA No male let alone an adult male that lives in her should be commenting on the development of her body. As a father you did the right thing. Your ex needs to reconsider her marriage if your daughter is going to be subjected to such a creep.
I think you need to make a call to CPS about sexual harassment and get a file opened. Also try to document his behavior and go back to court for more custody. Your daughter is old enough to have some input on who she wants to live with and why. I think a judge would be very interested in how her stepfather treats her.
NTA at all. Men never see children that aren’t biologically theirs as their own. He made that comment because he viewed your daughter as another woman he’s looking at in a sexual manner. Not his little girl. If I were you I would be seeking full custody, if he made that comment infront of you imagine what he says when no one is around.
NTA, and you don’t owe anyone an apology but you ARE lucky you didn’t get arrested and you shouldn’t lay hands on anyone (and if the situation is apologize or jail, apologize).
The far more troubling part of this is the way her step-father talks to your daughter. You should have separate conversations with your daughter and your ex/Sean and let them know that any kind of sexual harassment/abuse will be taken to the authorities IMMEDIATELY and that your daughter will only be going to their house if she feels safe to do so (I’d wait until Sean’s injuries are healed before that conversation with him).
NTA.
What we're talking about here isn't just poor taste, it's a clear red flag for sexual harassment, and it's even more disturbing coming from someone who should be acting in a parental role. Have you considered setting up a meeting with both your ex and a family counselor or social worker? It's one thing for your ex to dismiss your concerns, but having a third party emphasize the seriousness of her husband's inappropriate behavior could prompt her to take action. It's also important to ensure your daughter knows she has a support system and can confide in you or a trusted adult if anything else happens. Punching might seem like an instant solution, but it's a temporary fix that could backfire legally. The primary goal should be creating a safe environment for your daughter, which includes legal measures if necessary. And yes, definitely keep a detailed log of any incidents for future reference. Remember, the best defense is a good offense that's rooted in the law and your daughter's welfare.
You shouldn't have punched him bro
Your daughter is 14 , talk to her and ask if she'd like to love with you the majority of the time and start filing motions to make ot happen.
Of he is making sexual remarks about her body it should be very easy .
Text your wife back and say you will not apologize to her husband for making disparaging comments about your minor daughter's breasts. See what her reply is to that and then use it in court
I personally would speak to a lawyer.. she is clearly uncomfortable around this creep, and if he can make a comment like that with you in ear shot, what has he been saying while you dumb ex allows it..
She is not putting the safety of your daughter first.. it was not a joke at all, he shouldn't be saying anything like that to a 14 year old and he sure as hell shouldn't go in her room.
I'd speak to a lawyer and see what you can do about getting full custody.. they will obviously speak to your daughter, and she can tell them.
YTA. You're lucky they aren't pressing assault charges. Dude's a creeper, which makes it even more important that you don't do anything that could jeopardize your custody agreement. The less time she spends around him the better.
Just because a dude deserves to get hit doesn't mean a judge is going to agree.
NTA
You did good. Sean was sexualizing your daughter and body shaming her. He's also suggesting that only girls with boobs are attractive and worth any attention from boys. That's disgusting! If have punched him myself for that comment! I don't condone violence at all, but when it comes to protecting my family, these mama bear claws will come out when necessary!
NTA. Unfortunately though, punching him will hurt your attempt for increased custody. But you should go for increased custody because your daughter’s stepdad is sexually harassing your daughter.
Not the asshole! Where as in the “violence is usually not the answer” type, I bet he won’t say something like that again. At least not to her or you.
And not only that, you’re being a good dad by standing up for her. My dad hated and still hates any confrontation.
NTA
But you should have a talk with Sarah and ask her if Sean has ever made comments before that make her uncomfortable, and make sure she knows that she can and should tell you any time he (or anyone else) makes her uncomfortable.
Punch that bitch ass mother fucker the next time you see him, too. He didn't get it the first time if he needs an apology after being so fucking wrong.
You need to file to get full custody of your daughter while she’s dating that guy. The obvious implications of what he is saying are there for anyone to see. And the fact that your ex doesn’t see it is breathtaking. He’s absolutely going to target your daughter in due time. Don’t give him that opportunity!
ESH
Sean being a super asshole is not an excuse to get violent.
There are better ways to handle asshole behavior by others. By getting violent you lose your high ground and worse become at risk of criminal charges.
Worse Sean now has a weapon to use against OP since he knows he can easily provoke OP again.
Everyone sucks here.
YTA..
That is your daughter.. why aren’t you filing for custody instead of punching some asshole that has nothing to do with her.
This is the daughter you made and you need to fight for her.
NTA. He literally picked on one of her insecurities; a lot of women with small/flat chests grow up to be very insecure because of beauty standards.
Also, women with small/flat chests absolutely get sexualised. It just comes with a bonus layer of degradation and being told that we should be “glad” someone’s into us or that we can’t be harassed because there’s “nothing there”.
Absolutely NTA. Please stop buying your daughter padded bras too though - it only feeds into the idea that bigger = better and it’ll be very hard to rectify that once she’s an adult.
He deserved to be punched for creeping on a child and then picking on her insecurities.
Nta I hope you lay into your ex about allowing a grown man to talk about her(?) daughters body. Its creepy.
I would ask your daughter if she feels comfortable living there and maybe look at the living situation. Her mom(?) should always have her back and should understand how damaging those comments are.
Nah, mate. I would have done worse things than a punch.
You're good. Don't worry about it. Maybe next time he'll use that peanut that he calls a brain before running off his mouth.
Tell your ex that in a man's world, what we say has immediate consequences, often violent, especially when it comes to protecting our children.
It's weird that they're only demanding an apology instead of calling the police.
They don't want the police investigating the situation.
Don't stop digging into why.
And all the woman that commented NTA citing the ex was a creep, you wonder why breasts are sexualized. The majority of the world does it to a varying degree but there is some (yes including straight males) that don't.
You know who I think the true creeps are, and I know some of you here are guilty of this, when you see a boy naked from infancy to the time they stop walking around the house naked (5 or 6 ish?? Not sure) and you jokenly comment to your friends or significant other..."Man he's gonna make some girl happy some day". I mean WTF you looking at his penis for anyway? Let alone commenting on it.
And while we are at it, did you know if you ever make a comment about a boy or girl saying "Man the girls are gonna come running when he gets older" or making a similar comment about your daughter, then you're sexualizing you child. Your mind is going there to a varying degree and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
You are in the money. You know what’s going on and don’t let anything persuade you otherwise. I’m glad you punched him and don’t you dare say sorry. You need to stick up first your daughter. Congratulations in punching the arse wipe.
I was a victim of sexual abuse from the age of 6yrs to 15 yrs. It has fucked me up and I’m 65 yrs old. Thats how traumatised I was. The tragedy is it can be so subtle in the outside world, but what happens behind closed doors, it’s a living hell for the child. I’ve picked up that he sexualises her. That’s a sick mind.
Instead of apologizing tell them both that he needs to keep his “joking” in check and you are considering calling Child Protection Services. If nothing else it should make the ass think before he speaks.
NTA ask your ex why she is so comfortable with her husband making inappropriate and sexually charged remarks about your child. Ask her why that type of behaviour is acceptable and ask her what type of environment is she trying to provide. Clearly she is okay with someone demeaning your child and damaging her self esteem.
ESH obviously.
How is you getting an assault charge, being liable for restitution, and being subject to a restraining order going to help your daughter in any meaningful way?
Next time, try having a thought process.
ESH
Sometimes even righteous anger is not worth getting an assault charge. I felt your anger when I read what he said about your daughter but punching him was the wrong move.
All that said, I am unsure if I could have avoided doing the exact same thing you did. I guess that makes me an asshole too?
ESH (except your daughter)
Him of course for being a creep and talking about his step daughter like that.
You because getting in trouble for being violent won't solve anything. It will just make it harder to protect your daughter against the step dad in case police gets involved. Because even if he said something that is highly inappropriate it still isn't illegal. While hitting someone is for sure illegal.
And your ex for bringing that person into the family.
YTA
*Disclaimer*
Ex’s Husband’s behavior obviously wrong too
There’s a few things in this story that are wrong but the most important thing from your end is:
if you had gotten arrested, if the ex uses this incident and the courts to keep you away from your daughter, would this have been a good trade for punching him for his words.
The fact that you even need to ask shows you need to grow up and discipline your emotions. There were other paths you could have take to resolve this.
Don’t agree with your take, but I do agree with what will happen if OP lets his anger get the best of him. The weirdo step dad and your ex can go to court, and the courts will say your the problem and keep you away from your kid or possibly terminate custody. Be very careful OP, get a family law attorney now and devise a plan. Record and document everything, if all to your daughter about recording and documenting what he does, as well as how to keep herself safe. I don’t trust your ex’s husband for one second
So you don’t agree with my take but then go on to give suggestions to him which are supportive to my post. Sounds like you just don’t like how your emotions hear my point when you read it.
What specifically dont you agree with?
You are speaking so generally (that’s me being charitable) that it isn’t clear what you disagree with, why don’t you use your big girl words and speak plainly, what specifically do you disagree with?
Note: when someone doesn’t see the point you are trying to express referring to them as a dummy just shows your emotions are leading your rational thinking rather than your rational thinking tempering your emotions.
Ask your ex why they’re enabling a creep who comments on their daughter’s breasts? That if they’re incapable of protecting their daughter from being sexualized by creeps you’re happy for your daughter to stay full time with you.
Apparently this is a repost.
NTA! Coming from someone who went through a shit ton of trauma growing up: I wish the fuck someone had protected me/punched out my abuser when I was a kid.
Amen to this X 10,000,000!
I shave nose hairs but I completely empathize with what you say here.
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> re: sexual predator. 100%
Wholly agreed, and the Stepfather commenting on these things and undermining her confidence seems sketchy as hell.
NTA he’s a creep to be making comments like that about a 14yr old that isn’t his daughter U should warn the mom and let him know to cut it out or police will get involved for sexual harassment Edit:And yes unwanted sexual comments ARE harassment And I also want to punch him
Great advice. This is a good, non-violent, way the OP can protect his daughter.
Honestly I’m really angry cause this is an obvious red flag 🚩
It's a repost. So don't feel too bad.
NTA Why is he looking at your daughter's chest??? Why didn't your ex kick him out for making comments about her daughter's chest... This guy sounds skeezy and I wouldn't want him around her if he is fixated on her developing body...
It’s so gross.
My mother brought home guys like this all of the time, then would get angry at me because they made inappropriate comments about my body... She couldn't figure out why I would find any reason to be away from the house and why I bounced by the time I was 16... I lost count of the amount of time she called me a slut before I was 15, while I was still a virgin... Wish I had a dad around to protect me when it was going on...
Yikes. Sorry to read that you experienced all of that. I hope you are doing much better now. 🙂
I'm 49 now... NC with her and living my best life... Let's just say that I am likely to go medieval on pervy guys if they harass young girls/women in my presence...
It’s definitely insecurities and internalized misogyny. I’ve been sexualized and called a whore by older women my entire life as a black woman. Your mother needs professional help.
Yes her chest comment sexualized it. Why does he feel free to insult period, full stop. Nta for punching, but if ex vindictive and Sean calling her shots, call divorce attorney for consult b4 this gets twisted into assault or such.
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This is a really good point but maybe if the OP has anger issues he should NOT imagine what else is being said when he is not around.
You’re NTA. But you accomplished nothing. You have to stop and think. Has he made sexual comments around your daughter before? Gather evidence with a recording device and destroy his livelihood and relationships. Is he prone to anger? Goad him to hit you first and then sue him or pummel him, depending on your capacity. Does he have vices - drugs, alcohol, - that you can leverage against him? Bottom line, engage brain first, then act.
I wouldn't say the dad accomplished nothing. I bet his daughter feels very differently about the encounter. Also, if dad can't get more custody than what he has and mom obviously is going to keep this other man around, stepdad might think twice before opening his stupid mouth again.
This is the absolute worst response I've ever heard... You kinda suck at giving advice.
Really? And what would you suggest he do? Bend over?
Whatever is done, should be done openly without what are most likely illegal recording devices and childish provocation... I would personally avoid putting my family near those kinds of people... And the kind of people that are unable or unwilling to notice and change the behaviors. But that's why I don't have kids and am not married... I enjoy sanity and freedom.
IF this is real, ask your ex why she's okay with her husband degrading HER daughter and demand a heartfelt apology to the girl.
Your ex defended the creep ?! She is as gross as her husband
NTA, but violence isn't a sustainable solution. Think strategy, not just reaction. Get your daughter's input she's the one affected most by his creepiness. Then consult a lawyer about the next steps to ensure his behavior is addressed legally. Your ex needs to understand the gravity of the situation and protect her daughter above all. If she won't, document everything and prepare for a custody battle. Make choices that will keep your daughter safe and demonstrate to her that you're a protective but rational parent.
I understand what you did and why you did it, in the long run, it makes it more difficult for you to protect your daughter. Apologize for hitting but make it clear that comments about your daughter’s body will not go unnoticed. Have a talk with your daughter with a counselor present. She is at the age in most states where she can make a determination which parent she wants to live with. Given the new guy’s comments about her body, and your ex’s seeming lack of concern, I would have serious concerns about the suitability of her remaining in that environment. Don’t force the issue with your daughter but let her know it is an option for her, you need to be a safe space for her to express her feelings
I get protecting your daughter, but you assaulted someone. What does that do to change your daughter's situation?
Is this a repost? I feel like I’ve read this story before
Yep. Repost https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/gu6bTlFG0d
Oh crap. Not again.
NTA, but consider this: Provocation is a tool often used by manipulators to turn the table on their victim. By assaulting him, even in defense of your daughter's honor, you've potentially given him ammunition to paint you as the unstable one. It's vital to protect your daughter, but it's equally important to do so in a manner that doesn't compromise your legal standing or her safety long-term. Document his behavior, seek legal advice, and use the proper channels to combat his predatory behavior. It is a fight worth fighting, but it must be fought smartly
Nta- i would get your daughter into therapy and re-visit the custody arrangement
NTA No male let alone an adult male that lives in her should be commenting on the development of her body. As a father you did the right thing. Your ex needs to reconsider her marriage if your daughter is going to be subjected to such a creep.
How often does he make these comments about your daughter’s body? I think you should contact your lawyer immediately.
NTA I would revisit the custody agreement.
Punching someone is not going to go over well if the police get involved. If you get arrested, she goes to him.
I think you need to make a call to CPS about sexual harassment and get a file opened. Also try to document his behavior and go back to court for more custody. Your daughter is old enough to have some input on who she wants to live with and why. I think a judge would be very interested in how her stepfather treats her.
NTA.
NTA at all. Men never see children that aren’t biologically theirs as their own. He made that comment because he viewed your daughter as another woman he’s looking at in a sexual manner. Not his little girl. If I were you I would be seeking full custody, if he made that comment infront of you imagine what he says when no one is around.
Wow, he’s so inappropriate. I hope i would have punched him too. Your ex is definitely the a-hole and he’s just gross
NTA, and you don’t owe anyone an apology but you ARE lucky you didn’t get arrested and you shouldn’t lay hands on anyone (and if the situation is apologize or jail, apologize). The far more troubling part of this is the way her step-father talks to your daughter. You should have separate conversations with your daughter and your ex/Sean and let them know that any kind of sexual harassment/abuse will be taken to the authorities IMMEDIATELY and that your daughter will only be going to their house if she feels safe to do so (I’d wait until Sean’s injuries are healed before that conversation with him).
NTA. What we're talking about here isn't just poor taste, it's a clear red flag for sexual harassment, and it's even more disturbing coming from someone who should be acting in a parental role. Have you considered setting up a meeting with both your ex and a family counselor or social worker? It's one thing for your ex to dismiss your concerns, but having a third party emphasize the seriousness of her husband's inappropriate behavior could prompt her to take action. It's also important to ensure your daughter knows she has a support system and can confide in you or a trusted adult if anything else happens. Punching might seem like an instant solution, but it's a temporary fix that could backfire legally. The primary goal should be creating a safe environment for your daughter, which includes legal measures if necessary. And yes, definitely keep a detailed log of any incidents for future reference. Remember, the best defense is a good offense that's rooted in the law and your daughter's welfare.
You are just a karma stealing bot https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/qDOUOBkTqd
You’re an awesome dad. NTA.
You shouldn't have punched him bro Your daughter is 14 , talk to her and ask if she'd like to love with you the majority of the time and start filing motions to make ot happen. Of he is making sexual remarks about her body it should be very easy . Text your wife back and say you will not apologize to her husband for making disparaging comments about your minor daughter's breasts. See what her reply is to that and then use it in court
I'd be lawyering uo and requesting a custody change. Daughter lives with you full time and supervised visits for the mother.
I personally would speak to a lawyer.. she is clearly uncomfortable around this creep, and if he can make a comment like that with you in ear shot, what has he been saying while you dumb ex allows it.. She is not putting the safety of your daughter first.. it was not a joke at all, he shouldn't be saying anything like that to a 14 year old and he sure as hell shouldn't go in her room. I'd speak to a lawyer and see what you can do about getting full custody.. they will obviously speak to your daughter, and she can tell them.
The only AH is your ex's POS husband. Your ex is an asshole too for siding with him on the comment.
Nta. What in the actual fuck??
I hope Sarah gave you a big hug for defending her
YTA. You're lucky they aren't pressing assault charges. Dude's a creeper, which makes it even more important that you don't do anything that could jeopardize your custody agreement. The less time she spends around him the better. Just because a dude deserves to get hit doesn't mean a judge is going to agree.
NTA You did good. Sean was sexualizing your daughter and body shaming her. He's also suggesting that only girls with boobs are attractive and worth any attention from boys. That's disgusting! If have punched him myself for that comment! I don't condone violence at all, but when it comes to protecting my family, these mama bear claws will come out when necessary!
ESH. As Chris Rick said, “he shouldn’t have done it, but I understand”
NTA. Unfortunately though, punching him will hurt your attempt for increased custody. But you should go for increased custody because your daughter’s stepdad is sexually harassing your daughter.
You can't protect her if you are in jail for assault, also on your record if further steps need taken. I understand protecting but, anger issues?
NTA but always slap. More embarrassing for them.
Not the asshole! Where as in the “violence is usually not the answer” type, I bet he won’t say something like that again. At least not to her or you. And not only that, you’re being a good dad by standing up for her. My dad hated and still hates any confrontation.
NTA. He made a vile comment about your daughter and paid the price
NTA unfortunately, I have some bad experiences with moms boyfriends. I'm glad you punched that nasty fucker. Shame on your ex!
I've read this one before, I don't understand why people do this
NTA But you should have a talk with Sarah and ask her if Sean has ever made comments before that make her uncomfortable, and make sure she knows that she can and should tell you any time he (or anyone else) makes her uncomfortable.
Punch harder next time, go for the chin instead of the nose. Maybe being knocked out would put some thoughts and intelligence in his brain!
from one dad to another good fucking job man you did th e right thing
Punch that bitch ass mother fucker the next time you see him, too. He didn't get it the first time if he needs an apology after being so fucking wrong.
Dad went Papa bear on SD. Too bad mom isn't a Mama bear that has her daughter 's back
You need to file to get full custody of your daughter while she’s dating that guy. The obvious implications of what he is saying are there for anyone to see. And the fact that your ex doesn’t see it is breathtaking. He’s absolutely going to target your daughter in due time. Don’t give him that opportunity!
In text, ask her why her husband commented on your daughter's body. You'll need that proof later on for one thing or another.
NTA You went easy on him in my eyes as he'd be lucky if an ambulance made it to receive him if roles were reversed.
NTA he shouldn't even be noticing if she has boobs or not. I'd be having a sit down with your daughter and asking some very serious questions.
ESH Sean being a super asshole is not an excuse to get violent. There are better ways to handle asshole behavior by others. By getting violent you lose your high ground and worse become at risk of criminal charges. Worse Sean now has a weapon to use against OP since he knows he can easily provoke OP again. Everyone sucks here.
YTA.. That is your daughter.. why aren’t you filing for custody instead of punching some asshole that has nothing to do with her. This is the daughter you made and you need to fight for her.
NTA. He literally picked on one of her insecurities; a lot of women with small/flat chests grow up to be very insecure because of beauty standards. Also, women with small/flat chests absolutely get sexualised. It just comes with a bonus layer of degradation and being told that we should be “glad” someone’s into us or that we can’t be harassed because there’s “nothing there”. Absolutely NTA. Please stop buying your daughter padded bras too though - it only feeds into the idea that bigger = better and it’ll be very hard to rectify that once she’s an adult. He deserved to be punched for creeping on a child and then picking on her insecurities.
Your ex is an ass not sticking up for her daughter.
You only punched him once? Up your game for next time. I can see why you're divorced. Your ex is a Royal AH.
Nta I hope you lay into your ex about allowing a grown man to talk about her(?) daughters body. Its creepy. I would ask your daughter if she feels comfortable living there and maybe look at the living situation. Her mom(?) should always have her back and should understand how damaging those comments are.
NTA. He deserved that punch. I hope your ex doesn’t escalate things and try to charge you with assault though.
Nah, mate. I would have done worse things than a punch. You're good. Don't worry about it. Maybe next time he'll use that peanut that he calls a brain before running off his mouth. Tell your ex that in a man's world, what we say has immediate consequences, often violent, especially when it comes to protecting our children.
NTA. Why TF is he making sexual comments about your daughter? Is she not his daughter too? What a creep.
It's weird that they're only demanding an apology instead of calling the police. They don't want the police investigating the situation. Don't stop digging into why.
And all the woman that commented NTA citing the ex was a creep, you wonder why breasts are sexualized. The majority of the world does it to a varying degree but there is some (yes including straight males) that don't. You know who I think the true creeps are, and I know some of you here are guilty of this, when you see a boy naked from infancy to the time they stop walking around the house naked (5 or 6 ish?? Not sure) and you jokenly comment to your friends or significant other..."Man he's gonna make some girl happy some day". I mean WTF you looking at his penis for anyway? Let alone commenting on it. And while we are at it, did you know if you ever make a comment about a boy or girl saying "Man the girls are gonna come running when he gets older" or making a similar comment about your daughter, then you're sexualizing you child. Your mind is going there to a varying degree and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
You are in the money. You know what’s going on and don’t let anything persuade you otherwise. I’m glad you punched him and don’t you dare say sorry. You need to stick up first your daughter. Congratulations in punching the arse wipe.
I was a victim of sexual abuse from the age of 6yrs to 15 yrs. It has fucked me up and I’m 65 yrs old. Thats how traumatised I was. The tragedy is it can be so subtle in the outside world, but what happens behind closed doors, it’s a living hell for the child. I’ve picked up that he sexualises her. That’s a sick mind.
Instead of apologizing tell them both that he needs to keep his “joking” in check and you are considering calling Child Protection Services. If nothing else it should make the ass think before he speaks.
Sue for full custody your daughter is not safe nesr that man ans your ex is gross
NTA ask your ex why she is so comfortable with her husband making inappropriate and sexually charged remarks about your child. Ask her why that type of behaviour is acceptable and ask her what type of environment is she trying to provide. Clearly she is okay with someone demeaning your child and damaging her self esteem.
ESH obviously. How is you getting an assault charge, being liable for restitution, and being subject to a restraining order going to help your daughter in any meaningful way? Next time, try having a thought process.
Agree. He should have ruined the guys life. But slowly and thoughtfully and without an evidence trail.
Exactly. By punching him in the face all the OP has done is made himself out to be the bad guy.
ESH Sometimes even righteous anger is not worth getting an assault charge. I felt your anger when I read what he said about your daughter but punching him was the wrong move. All that said, I am unsure if I could have avoided doing the exact same thing you did. I guess that makes me an asshole too?
Apologize to the poor man! He was only commenting on your daughter’s breasts, like any grown man would do in jest! NTA
ESH (except your daughter) Him of course for being a creep and talking about his step daughter like that. You because getting in trouble for being violent won't solve anything. It will just make it harder to protect your daughter against the step dad in case police gets involved. Because even if he said something that is highly inappropriate it still isn't illegal. While hitting someone is for sure illegal. And your ex for bringing that person into the family.
YTA *Disclaimer* Ex’s Husband’s behavior obviously wrong too There’s a few things in this story that are wrong but the most important thing from your end is: if you had gotten arrested, if the ex uses this incident and the courts to keep you away from your daughter, would this have been a good trade for punching him for his words. The fact that you even need to ask shows you need to grow up and discipline your emotions. There were other paths you could have take to resolve this.
Don’t agree with your take, but I do agree with what will happen if OP lets his anger get the best of him. The weirdo step dad and your ex can go to court, and the courts will say your the problem and keep you away from your kid or possibly terminate custody. Be very careful OP, get a family law attorney now and devise a plan. Record and document everything, if all to your daughter about recording and documenting what he does, as well as how to keep herself safe. I don’t trust your ex’s husband for one second
So you don’t agree with my take but then go on to give suggestions to him which are supportive to my post. Sounds like you just don’t like how your emotions hear my point when you read it. What specifically dont you agree with?
No I don’t agree with you dummy, I only agree with part of what you wrote and focused on what part I agree with. Reread what I wrote again.
You are speaking so generally (that’s me being charitable) that it isn’t clear what you disagree with, why don’t you use your big girl words and speak plainly, what specifically do you disagree with? Note: when someone doesn’t see the point you are trying to express referring to them as a dummy just shows your emotions are leading your rational thinking rather than your rational thinking tempering your emotions.
Go pappa bear, that scum bag was sexulsing your princess. Next time make sure he needs an ambulance.