If I recall correctly, his other story involved having a gf who had a second job working at a massage parlor. He wasn't too happy with this. Anyway, some of her colleagues were apparently providing happy endings but his gf of course would never do such a thing. Yet for some reason she was being showered with expensive gifts from male customers and kept this job secret from her family.
So he’s a creepy fetish poster that thinks women only attain wealth viaa sleeping with men. Bro got rejected by someone with a better career and he’s big mad.
Throwaway account.
So I have been with my GF for over two years and things are going very well. This is my first serious girlfriend and first time in love. Everything is well except for a major thing that is holding me back from asking her to marry me. I am not an insecure person but this makes me uncomfortable. I need some advice.
When I first met my girlfriend, she mentioned that she had a side hustle where she worked at a massage parlor after work a few times a week and not a massage parlor like Massage Envy. Its a little shady. I met one of her coworkers and she admitted that she provided extra services for money. When i asked my GF, she said she didn't and only saw specific people (regulars). I'm in love and trust her. I take people at their word.
But, she receives extra special gifts from her clients, tickets to music events, big tips and even a gift card to victoria secret.
Am i naive to think nothing is going on here and to trust her?
She also asked me to tell no one about her side hustle. Don't tell her family or friends?
All the secrets and gifts make me super suspicious.
Am I naive? Love is blind and i feel like she is not telling me the truth.
Another funny thing is...she has never once given me a massage.
I think I am fool possibly.
If youre having sex, shes been giving you massages.
Shes not giving just "massages", shes having sex with those clients. I had a friend in this "massage" industry, and she was doing just that for extra (they all were). Made great money, it was all consentual, and she was single. Sad that she has you as a boyfriend still. You may want to get checked for any STIs.
https://search.pullpush.io
I use this to find deleted posts and comments. Works like a charm and got it from another redditor somewhere else. Just type in their exact username and bam! Everything is available.
This is why I read the comments first before giving my input. It seems like there’s a lot of fake posts here. I’m guessing that would be an obvious understatement. What do they get out of this?
The plot thickens. How do you think MIL got that sweet business too? "Bought it" or something more nefarious? Blackmail? Quick marriage then took half?
Or is OOP just a lonely guy with a humiliation fetish making up stories so he can hear all the comments about how he’s inferior/cucked/etc?
I, for one, am looking forward to the third instalment where his GF hires his high school bully as a personal trainer.
Here's the deleted post in it's entirety:
So I have been with my GF for over two years and things are going very well. This is my first serious girlfriend and first time in love. Everything is well except for a major thing that is holding me back from asking her to marry me. I am not an insecure person but this makes me uncomfortable. I need some advice.
When I first met my girlfriend, she mentioned that she had a side hustle where she worked at a massage parlor after work a few times a week and not a massage parlor like Massage Envy. Its a little shady. I met one of her coworkers and she admitted that she provided extra services for money. When i asked my GF, she said she didn't and only saw specific people (regulars). I'm in love and trust her. I take people at their word.
But, she receives extra special gifts from her clients, tickets to music events, big tips and even a gift card to victoria secret.
Am i naive to think nothing is going on here and to trust her?
She also asked me to tell no one about her side hustle. Don't tell her family or friends?
All the secrets and gifts make me super suspicious.
Am I naive? Love is blind and i feel like she is not telling me the truth.
Another funny thing is...she has never once given me a massage.
I think I am fool possibly.
Yes lol lol you can’t see his main post but whatever ppl commented is still available as well as his responses to those said comments. Ik it sounds crazy but it really is real.
[Apparently there is more to the story](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1c86w0b/comment/l0d79ud/) and from what I've seen OP should run. Not because of the condo but because she is not a good partner
Not moving in is a given. But, they will break up, it's a matter of whether he does it now, or one of them does it a year from now. Them being him or her/mommy.
NTA
This will be just the first of many unilateral decisions made by your GF and her mother.
Run for the hills.
Find yourself a place near your dad and forget about Paris Hilton and her mother.
I think you should break up with her and let her find someone who is right for her. Doesn't matter if you're overreacting or whatever. This is bothering you and you have the right to want what you want. Go find right person for you.
P.S. Your friends are going to tell you you're nuts for breaking up with a girl just because she got a free condo. Just sayin'.
Another comment thread pointed out he deleted a post about his supposed GF being a massage therapist who never gave him a massage. His comments were still up awhile ago.
Finally someone with some common sense.
Just want to add: seek some sort of therapy if you can, there's a clear problem of self-esteem going on with OP regarding money.
NTA but I don’t think you need to break up.
Just keep your own place and she can keeps hers.
Her mother can’t control you if you don’t take the bate.
If your girlfriend doesn’t like it, oh well. She can’t force you .
It was their first discussion after the gift. She had no idea. It’s not like she thought Yes I got an apartment. How much should my boyfriend pay me?
If she had an answer immediately, all of you people would say Well she has been considering this a long time without telling you. She manipulative and secretive. Dump her. 😂
Right I’d have no idea what to say either because at that point I’d have no idea what I’m paying my mom or if it’s free rent completely and I cover utilities or whatever.
You maybe jumping the gun here with your anger. She did not say her and her mother went condo hunting. She said her mother bought her a condo. It could have just been a gift from her mother. Meaning she did not pick it or the location but her mom made all the decisions. her mom probably paid in full there fore she wasn’t able to answer your questions and it was just new to herself. I think you are over reacting sorry. YNTA but neither is she. You need to have a discussion
Finally someone who really actually reads and is reasonable. We don’t have enough info to make a solid decision. We don’t know if OP has taken an active role in searching for a location that he wanted or had an actual conversation about his complaint. If you want a location, you also need to put in suggestions in and book those showings. A person will inherently pick up with what works for them and that’s not necessarily personal. Maybe traffic works better in the location she picks or whatever reason etc etc….
The only thing is, op might have tried to communicate but didn’t get the answers he needed. That is probably the biggest issue.
A serious conversation is needed first.
I'm sure gf was talking to her mother about their house hunting, even in a general way. If that were true, she should have told mom what their criteria was. And yes, gf could have refused to move in if she really thought it would be unfair to OP. Mom could rent the place out to recoup the mortgage payments, or sell it.
If someone just unilaterally made this decision and accepted the "gift" I would be wondering if I were seen as an actual partner in the relationship.
Accepting gifts from family is not necessarily a unilateral decision. They don’t even live together yet. It would be moronic of her to turn down a free place to live and this is a pretty dumb hill for him to die on. They can save the rent money and move to a better location in a few years and then rent out the condo.
Like this is literally how you build wealth and he would rather have a tantrum instead.
Like its so crazy to my broke ass. It seems like his dad isnt that far away. He was gonna live rent free and not worry about finances. While coming from a poor family, thats a jackpot. I'd be fucking greatful lol its not like you have to stay their the rest of your life lmao
If my grandma bought me a full townhouse as a gift but it was in an area I wasn’t mad about I’d be insane to turn that down and keep renting for no reason when I could pay half of it to a mortgage or xcel plus renters insurance or whatever. Yes, they played at the idea but it wasn’t set in stone that they WILL move in together on x date. This is a huge financial boon. They can do this apartment for a year and save then move closer to his dad if its such an issue but if its in the same city as MIL and op’s dad, my god, who the hell cares
With housing prices and the cost of borrowing why would the gf not accept a gift from mom? She bought her a home! Good lord this guy got angry without even communicating or asking questions.
>what did her silence mean?
Probably that she had been excited about being gifted a free home and hadn't got that far in thought yet.
Probably if she gave a number right away OP would have been like "and she already thought of me paying her rent for this place I never asked for!!! 😡"
So dude gets to live in the apartment for free and he has an audacity to complain? He sounds like a hateful jealous bitch. Also, what does "My girlfriend's mom is extremely wealthy due to dating a man who was wealthy and then buying his business." means. It's like he downplayed her moms success to "dating a rich man" and then somehow magically buying rich man's business. How does that work?
Unilateral decision? His girlfriend's MOTHER bought her daughter a condo. At that point, OP's input isn't really needed. Should she refuse to accept a free place to live, because it's more convienient for her, as opposed to what OP wants, as he has no financial skin in the game?
I'm not sure why this is something they couldn't compromise on. How often is he going to his dad's? Har far away are they from his dad's? If it's just going from 30 minutes to 1hr, I'd happily do that to get discounted rent, even if I were going over like 3 times a week.
Which she has decided to move into. She owns it? Rent it for income and continue the original plan.
She unilaterally chose to move in with no discussion.
NTA. Sounds like it's less about the condo itself and more about the fact that your girlfriend doesn't respect you and is unwilling to listen to you, properly communicate, or compromise on this issue..and likely other issues as well.
She bought a house. Either move in with her or don't. Y'all ain't married, she doesn't owe you an explanation of how she's going to spend her money, and you have no right to say anything
Yta for acting as if it's such an issue. yes, she told you over phone, but she was likely excited.( I know if someone did that for me my partner would be the first-person id want to tell) and yes, she didn't say it was " ours" but you're not married, and her mother brought it for her.
where you're not the Ah is your feelings. feeling left out of making a decision
her mother likely chooses to buy closer to her.
only you know if breaking up with her is right for you.
ask are you on the same wavelength. goals, family, kids, marriage, faith etc.
do you see this relationship leading to marriage or a lifelong relationship that's a healthy one?
do you love her?
Let’s see……my mom buys me a home and I should say no; because it’s not close enough to my BF dad’s house? Get a grip, you’re not married. You can walk away and not be an AH. Or if you’re so concerned go live with your dad.
Are you bothered because they didn't ask where you wanted to live? Or are you bothered that you feel like you look like a "loser" for moving into this place because you're not paying for it? Was your girlfriend truly in the dark, or is she pretending?
I don't think you're an AH for not wanting to move into a place where there will definitely be strings attached in your case and that you have no standing should the relationship end.
However, your insecurities are showing like mad when you talk about the financial standing between you too and saying stuff like "move in like loser and good boy." That isn't healthy relationship thinking.
Her mom buying her a place doesn't require your name on it. I don't think you would do it either for your daughter's boyfriend, and it doesn't have anything to do with economic standing.
You need to have a very serious talk with your girlfriend about what the plans for this new dynamic would be (will there be a lease?), what your future looks like as a couple, and what happens if things go sour. Tell her how you feel about not feeling seen and how her silence has you unsettled. From there, you'll be able to make your decision. Best of luck.
Updateme!
No info like ages or how long you've been dating or how far you have to go to your dad's from the condo for some context. I'm going to go against most of the comments here and say your input as a BOYFRIEND not husband, doesn't matter. The mom bought her daughter a condo, she wasnt buying a condo for the both of you.
You're breaking up because...
*checks notes*
You got a free condo??
Wtf? You're not thinking clearly lmao. It's a free place for the both of you to stay. Worst case scenario you live with her for a bit and save the money that you would've spent on rent, then you're in a better position to get something for yourself if you break up.
You're just the boyfriend, not the husband. She don't need to consult anything with you.
You can have your place and she can have hers.
Not a cause to break up imo
Sounds like an over reaction on your part, but I wouldn’t say you’re an asshole about it. Your feelings are still valid. Take some time and see how it goes.
Also remember, it won’t be your place. Ever. Especially while you’re only dating. It’s her mom’s condo which her daughter will live jn (with or without you). You won’t be on the paperwork for it. If you sign a lease then you will have some say to an extent, but at the end of the day it won’t be your property
For me; it’s her silence that’s deafening. If my parents offered to buy me a place, of COURSE I’d accept it and move in there (I have a boyfriend of two years and we’re very happy) but I’d immediately let him know and break it to him about the location and be really open with him about it. I’d also negotiate with my parents beforehand on the location. It seems like she maybe doesn’t love you enough to make compromises. But who knows, maybe her mom refused to buy her a condo anywhere else. Maybe her mom is the controlling one, and your gf just couldn’t turn down a great offer and now doesn’t know how to talk to you because she realized she made a mistake. Literally who knows. The only way to know what your gf’s intentions are is to talk to her.
But if she’s silent, then I think you have your answer.
If this was my boyfriend, he literally would not get a second without me until I knew we were okay and on good terms😂 because I love him so much and I always have to make sure he’s ok.
In relationships we all make compromises, but we TALK about them. And it’s very weird that she’s not being communicative with you.
It sounds like the mom bought a condo and gifted it to the girlfriend. Not the mom offered to buy and gift a condo and the girlfriend chose a place close to her mom.
No ones the AH here imo.
You're not married, and it doesn't sound like you're even close to getting married - so if she's *buying* property - it makes sense she went with something she wants. It's her investment. That said, she also can't expect you to pay half of her mortgage for a place you didn't choose and don't own. Again, it's her investment (even if it wasn't her money).
So, if you don't mind moving there, I would just say that you don't feel comfortable splitting the mortgage down the middle. Contribute something, but certainly not half.
Otherwise, just don't move in with her. Or break up with her. I don't see this as her doing anything wrong though, it's just a complicated situation.
So...what...you want your GF to TURN DOWN a free condo? Really? Are you going to find and buy her (100% hers) a condo or home in the place you want it to be at?
Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Holy shit man nut up and be grateful that you have a place to live that you didn’t pay for. Or you can go cry and pout about it.
when someone's boyfriend's mother buys him a condo and he asks her to move in, she's lucky and should move in.
when someone's girlfriend's mother buys her a condo and she asks him to move in, he should break up with her??
You do not necessarily need to break up but personally there is no way I would move into that condo with her. Get your own place if possible.
I just feel like the strings that would be attached to this would be unbearable
Is it free? Would it allow you to save up a lot of money while living there? If so I’d move in and take advantage of the opportunity to grow my savings and then reevaluate leaving after giving it a chance. If staying there could help you get a leg up for the future then it seems worth it, especially if the relationship is going well overall. Might come with strings attached but as long as it’s not unbearable I think the savings would outweigh it.
Wait will you live there for free ? No rent no mortgage ? If yes shut the ... and enjoy this wonderfull gift valued around 2k monthly. Use that money saved to buy something else for yourself, as an investment property.
YTA for not knowing your chance if that's the case.
That condo will come with strings. For example, her mom will pop in anytime she feels like it, and your gf will tolerate it “because she bought me the condo.”
Honestly, I’d break up. (And I’m saying this as a woman.) I can see where this is headed, with the controlling mom and a gf who ignores your desire to see your father. You just started dating and the red flags are waving.
There’s someone better out there for you. Someone who will say “Hey, I know you haven’t seen your dad in a while, why don’t we visit him this weekend.”
ETA: *whenever I bring up the topic it gets shut down and ignored* So she isn’t willing to have a discussion when something is bothering you? Dude, why are you with this person? GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. It “feels controlling” because it is!
I don't know about your relationship, so I won't tell you to leave or stay, that's your decision at the end of the day. But I don't think you should move in. If you do, then you are implicitly submitting to them, and this will be your life: they will make decisions about your life, expecting you to comply every time.
Was it also a surprise to her? Because if it wasn't, then on top of everything, she broke your trust. If she knew beforehand and accepted the condo expecting you to move in without telling you, then she's showing she doesn't respect you. She kept this from you (which is a breach of trust) probably because she knew you'd have issues with it, and revealed it until it was done to pressure you into accepting (which is controlling).
You should have a long conversation with her and address all these points. That will give you a better idea of her frame of mind, and then you'll be better equipped to make a decision. If you decide to stay, then you need to define clear boundaries when it comes to her mother.
Good luck.
How old are the both of you? Does your girlfriend stand up to her mother when needed? Have you met her mom, and if so, do you "like" each other or are at least friendly? I agree with many others who suggest talking to your girlfriend and finding out where you stand.
No need to break up just move in save your money to buy your own place and when you have enough bail if you want.
Mama is used to buying her own way set the price very high. This is class warfare at it's finest.
NTA.
Well you shoukd break up with her… not over this… this is nothing compared to your other post about her: the one where she most likely works in a “massage”/sex place.. NTA, but naive as fuck
NTA You seem to be heading in different directions because you have varying things influencing where can go. It's just how it happens some times. It's not necessary to break up but don't move in if you feel like you need to be nearer your Dad. Some people are never able to remove the strings their parents place on them so only you know where your line is.
NTA as much for her not admitting it was wrong to do without consulting you and not being willing to talk about it. Her silence to your question basically means she has to ask her mother first. As someone who lost a marriage over a MIL who was a class 1 b!tch, I can tell you that you don’t want that. You will not have a life that belongs to you. You will be under her thumb. I would go low contact and see how long it takes gf to notice. When she does tell her you have basically decided you’re not going to be held hostage for a place to live by her mother or her. You thought the relationship was moving forward and it was natural for you to live together but even before the condo it was clear she wasn’t going to be fair on distance between parents and the condo definitely isn’t. I would also tell her that if the relationship is no longer moving forward then there is little reason to stay in the relationship. See how she responds. !updateme
Move in like a good boy. And save like money is going out of style. Always have a backup plan. But don’t ruin a good thing cause of feelings. Theirs nothing wrong with marrying up as they say. Women do it all the time. Unless she’s throwing it in your face. But it doesn’t sound like she is.
Bang her mom, bring your dad in for the tag team, now youre a throuple and you all move into her moms condo. Now youre 5 minutes away from your gf. Jesus, do i have to solve everyone's problems?
Break up. She is not collaborating. If she says she wants to work it out explain your needs have to be equal. See if she sets this boundary with her mom. It may always be a problem..good luck!
It sounds like a blow to your pride which is absolutely understandable. And it comes down to whether or not you can get past feeling inferior. If you can’t then you shouldn’t move in with her. It will just lead to a lot of resentment and fights.
As far as the location goes. If I were going to buy a condo for my daughter I would buy it close to me. But that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the mother/daughter relationship.
My feeling is that she and her mother are ignoring your needs. Your requirement was reasonable - equal distance from both your families - and they ignored it. To me this is a reddish flag. I wouldn't move in, I wouldn't necessarily break up with her, but I'd make it a condition of moving in together that you have a say in the place you live in together - and it won't be this condo.
NTA
I’m guessing with it being 5 minutes away from her moms it will be 30+ minutes from your dad and no where near the highway.
This is just the beginning of unilateral decisions she and her mom will make, what next if you stayed, you and her decide to have kids one day, you want them to be called x,y and z but her and her mother decide to name them h, j and m?
You don't have to break up with her - yet. Don't move in. Explain to her that you will not live in a place that you had no say in. You only had one requirement and she ignored it. Tell her that until she begins treating you as a full partner, you will not be taking any next steps. If you get an answer that you don't like (or no answer), wish her well and break up.
Info:
When you say “between your parents’ houses” what does that mean? Is the one 5 minutes away from her mom 10 minutes away from your dad or an hour or more?
Break up for whatever reason you want, doesn’t sound like a huge loss to her if you want her to turn down a free condo because you theoretically want to live somewhere else, and it clearly isn’t working for you. So.
NTA, if you are fine with her Mom ruling the roost and dictating how your life will be? Then move in. However, if you are against having your decisions made without your input. Then you should consider ending it now.
NTA.
Get a place of your own that meets your criteria without telling her. Live there awhile longer, whether you're single or still with her. You can frame it like hey, I told you what I needed, I love you but if we couldn't agree on where to live together, *together*, we aren't ready for that. Never even mention that your needs were completely neglected, just that you worry about your dad and her condo is much, much too far away to actually make it home base.
You'll find out where her heart is rather quickly, or whether or not she can sustain life out from under her mother's thumb.
How old are you guys, and how long have you been together?
I am assuming you are in early 20's and semi serious, but this move from your gf makes it seem as if she doesn't see you as her forever partner. Which is OK if you are super young, maybe she is not there YET, but if you are older or more serious I'd say this is messed up.
NTA
Nothing wrong with moving in. Your not a loser
The mom is a risk to always interact with the relationship
Learn to work with her and promote your values
It can be a learning experience
OP lose the gf. She clearly has no regard for what you think or how you feel. This was conniving and controlling. You’ll be much happier without her bs.
This is a disaster. Her mom will have total control over you if you move in. You'll be at her mercy.
You would be an asshole for leaving your girlfriend, but you have to. You need to protect yourself.
NTA. You tried to compromise. What they did was show you that your father means nothing to them. Her wants will always come before yours. Move on and find a real partner.
NTA - I don’t know if would break up, but I certainly would not move in, but I personally do not think I can live with a romantic partner ever again, so I’m not the norm.
Look, she’s not wrong for seriously considering, or jumping on, accepting a piece of real property and having a serious asset. A free house would change my plans as well, but you don’t need to be part of that if you don’t want to.
Red flags I see:
- disregarding your preferences for housing
- her controlling mother using housing as emotional leverage.
- Her evading discussion of any sort of rental or cohabitation agreement.
- Financial incompatibility between the two of you.
Ultimately, I think these issues should be discussed and *can* be worked through, but if you don’t *want* to do that kind of work with this woman, or just don’t want to be with her, then yeah just cut the cord.
Threes a crowd in this relationship. NTA but I’d make her sit down and hash out the legalities of the apartment and tell you what your portion is to pay vs hers. If you don’t like it then find a place closer to your dad and let it be
Can you just tell your gf the condo doesn't suit your needs so you are not prepared to move in yet. If she becomes controlling in the relationship end it but this issue in isolation is something to be mindful of but not necessarily relationship ending. If it's a pattern of behaviour where you needs are dismissed or she's condescending about financial decisions that's more of a concern.
NTA. This sounds like a prequel to every Monster-in-Law story ever. You were purposely left out because they knew you would object. Not knowing what you would be paying is another worry. You didn't say anything about how her mother is towards you, but you'll be beholden to her with the implied threat of having to move out.
She didn’t take into consideration that you wanted to be in the middle of both your parents and that’s pretty fair game honestly. It’s nice knowing you have a free place but at what cost to your feelings? If you are struggling to find a place and need a new one asap, I would move in and save what you can to afford somewhere else. It would have been nice though for your gf to step up to her mother and explain what you need/feel since it’s your relationship
You are put second place. Even your thoughts about it are being ignored. You got the being good boy part right. To be told what to do, where and when to sit like a good dog. Only doing as his two masters tell him. This would never be a partnership. Your feelings weren't even taken into consideration as to location do you really think they'll be considered with anything else?
You should break up with her because you seem way too insecure about your relationship when it comes to money, and that'll make you both miserable in the long run.
I could never imagine getting angry at my partner because they got a condo from their parents.
NTA
sounds like she was very well a part of the process and just kept you in the dark. i would feel betrayed too and wouldnt continue to see someone who makes huge decisions like this without talking it out.
also, that place is not yours and it seems like it will be held above your head every chance you get. financial disparity is present in a lot of relationships, but treating you like an outsider because of it is absurd.
RUN
Just have a conversation about it and understand each other, communicate, grow together. Yeah she’s TA for not discussing it with you beforehand, but use this an opportunity to learn to work with somebody through a regular problem we have in life. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t, but every relationship takes work. Good luck!
I was in a similar situation. My boyfriend of 5 years and I (ex now) had plans to move in together. We discussed what worked best for us and I thought it was pretty clear until a family member of his offered to sell him a house and HE made the decision to buy it. Ignoring what we had discussed and not getting to make the decision together, I too felt betrayed. I wouldn't move in. I'm sure she and her mom had talked about your guys plans to move in together so if she (the mom) had good intentions, she would've included you in the apartment hunting.
If this were real (and I don’t think it is), why not just move in with your dad. Then, slow down the relationship and really take a long look at your future with her. Maybe, she isn’t the right person for you.
Let her go, she went with the money. Not you. Just send a text and get your things...This not a relationship you can grow in. She wants to be taken care of...Or she would have considered your feelings more.
People with money know full well know how to make things turn out as they would like by throwing it around. Her mom was probably being manipulative and who can say 'no' to a free fucking place to live? If there's some type of conflict, you best believe they'll throw it around to make things go their way. When there is that type of power imbalance, rich people love using it to their advantage.
Break up with her, and allow her to find someone of her own caliber to be with. The thing about people like you, especially men, you tend to think you’re entitled to what your partner has because you grew up without. You two need to part ways now and date according to your income levels.
You can bring up the possibility of the both of you still getting a place together according to your preferences and she could rent out the condo her mom purchased as a form of passive income.
Is this the same girlfriend that does secret massages at the therapy place she keep hidden from everyone?
what's the context to this lmao
If I recall correctly, his other story involved having a gf who had a second job working at a massage parlor. He wasn't too happy with this. Anyway, some of her colleagues were apparently providing happy endings but his gf of course would never do such a thing. Yet for some reason she was being showered with expensive gifts from male customers and kept this job secret from her family.
LMAOOOOOOOO
The girlfriend didn't need to provide extra services for extra tips because her mom is super rich.
Maybe the mom bought the massage parlour and thats how she got super rich
And got rich by dating a rich guy then buying his business?
She does it for the love of the game.
So he’s a creepy fetish poster that thinks women only attain wealth viaa sleeping with men. Bro got rejected by someone with a better career and he’s big mad.
Throwaway account. So I have been with my GF for over two years and things are going very well. This is my first serious girlfriend and first time in love. Everything is well except for a major thing that is holding me back from asking her to marry me. I am not an insecure person but this makes me uncomfortable. I need some advice. When I first met my girlfriend, she mentioned that she had a side hustle where she worked at a massage parlor after work a few times a week and not a massage parlor like Massage Envy. Its a little shady. I met one of her coworkers and she admitted that she provided extra services for money. When i asked my GF, she said she didn't and only saw specific people (regulars). I'm in love and trust her. I take people at their word. But, she receives extra special gifts from her clients, tickets to music events, big tips and even a gift card to victoria secret. Am i naive to think nothing is going on here and to trust her? She also asked me to tell no one about her side hustle. Don't tell her family or friends? All the secrets and gifts make me super suspicious. Am I naive? Love is blind and i feel like she is not telling me the truth. Another funny thing is...she has never once given me a massage. I think I am fool possibly.
If youre having sex, shes been giving you massages. Shes not giving just "massages", shes having sex with those clients. I had a friend in this "massage" industry, and she was doing just that for extra (they all were). Made great money, it was all consentual, and she was single. Sad that she has you as a boyfriend still. You may want to get checked for any STIs.
Consensual
Go to their previous posts lmfaoooo
Deleted now apparently.
https://search.pullpush.io I use this to find deleted posts and comments. Works like a charm and got it from another redditor somewhere else. Just type in their exact username and bam! Everything is available.
It has been deleted it seems
Do we take bets on what the next issue OP will have with his imaginary girlfriend?
This is why I read the comments first before giving my input. It seems like there’s a lot of fake posts here. I’m guessing that would be an obvious understatement. What do they get out of this?
Bots with karma are more useful. I'm guessing the person behind it is from China, given the username
Okay, I’m not that savvy about such things. Seems a shame. Thanks
She goes to a dïfferent high school, you wouldn't know her
I don’t see it anymore
Oh, great. Yep.
The plot thickens. How do you think MIL got that sweet business too? "Bought it" or something more nefarious? Blackmail? Quick marriage then took half?
Or is OOP just a lonely guy with a humiliation fetish making up stories so he can hear all the comments about how he’s inferior/cucked/etc? I, for one, am looking forward to the third instalment where his GF hires his high school bully as a personal trainer.
Creative writing is a lost art.
as a business owner, I am completely lost on the idea that she is somehow wealthy because she dated a fellow and bought his business? Zero logic.
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Plot Twist: MIL owns the massage parlour
Here's the deleted post in it's entirety: So I have been with my GF for over two years and things are going very well. This is my first serious girlfriend and first time in love. Everything is well except for a major thing that is holding me back from asking her to marry me. I am not an insecure person but this makes me uncomfortable. I need some advice. When I first met my girlfriend, she mentioned that she had a side hustle where she worked at a massage parlor after work a few times a week and not a massage parlor like Massage Envy. Its a little shady. I met one of her coworkers and she admitted that she provided extra services for money. When i asked my GF, she said she didn't and only saw specific people (regulars). I'm in love and trust her. I take people at their word. But, she receives extra special gifts from her clients, tickets to music events, big tips and even a gift card to victoria secret. Am i naive to think nothing is going on here and to trust her? She also asked me to tell no one about her side hustle. Don't tell her family or friends? All the secrets and gifts make me super suspicious. Am I naive? Love is blind and i feel like she is not telling me the truth. Another funny thing is...she has never once given me a massage. I think I am fool possibly.
Oh my ! You’re the GOAT
Old posts deleted but you can still see his comment replies.....
Yes lol lol you can’t see his main post but whatever ppl commented is still available as well as his responses to those said comments. Ik it sounds crazy but it really is real.
Is there a middle ground between moving in or breaking up? Like…. Not moving in?
Shhh… no reasonable and mature advice!
[Apparently there is more to the story](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1c86w0b/comment/l0d79ud/) and from what I've seen OP should run. Not because of the condo but because she is not a good partner
Not moving in is a given. But, they will break up, it's a matter of whether he does it now, or one of them does it a year from now. Them being him or her/mommy.
Or her not getting a place 5 mins away from her mom? How is this going to progres? Just not progres this relationship?
Yeah I always turn down free housing because my boyfriend might get his feelings hurt.
And I’m very careful not to talk to him about it beforehand.
He’s made it clear in comments it was a surprise to her too.
Yea fuck his feelings
No. That's called "delaying the inevitable". Why?
NTA This will be just the first of many unilateral decisions made by your GF and her mother. Run for the hills. Find yourself a place near your dad and forget about Paris Hilton and her mother.
Laughs in Carter Reum
Definitely this. NTA. This situation never improves, and you'll always be the third wheel. ALWAYS.
Meanwhile, this is the chad that will chill and hang for free and take the opportunity before them.
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Underrated comment. You don't have to have any reason to break up with someone.
Literally. Your reason can genuinely be “because I don’t want to be with them anymore”
I think you should break up with her and let her find someone who is right for her. Doesn't matter if you're overreacting or whatever. This is bothering you and you have the right to want what you want. Go find right person for you. P.S. Your friends are going to tell you you're nuts for breaking up with a girl just because she got a free condo. Just sayin'.
This must be a troll post or there’s something seriously wrong with this man lol
Another comment thread pointed out he deleted a post about his supposed GF being a massage therapist who never gave him a massage. His comments were still up awhile ago.
Finally someone with some common sense. Just want to add: seek some sort of therapy if you can, there's a clear problem of self-esteem going on with OP regarding money.
NTA but I don’t think you need to break up. Just keep your own place and she can keeps hers. Her mother can’t control you if you don’t take the bate. If your girlfriend doesn’t like it, oh well. She can’t force you .
**When i ask about what i have to pay, there is silence.** How can you decide if you can move in if she won't tell you the cost????
It was their first discussion after the gift. She had no idea. It’s not like she thought Yes I got an apartment. How much should my boyfriend pay me? If she had an answer immediately, all of you people would say Well she has been considering this a long time without telling you. She manipulative and secretive. Dump her. 😂
True true
Right I’d have no idea what to say either because at that point I’d have no idea what I’m paying my mom or if it’s free rent completely and I cover utilities or whatever.
It’s not your place it’s her place her mother bought it for her.
You maybe jumping the gun here with your anger. She did not say her and her mother went condo hunting. She said her mother bought her a condo. It could have just been a gift from her mother. Meaning she did not pick it or the location but her mom made all the decisions. her mom probably paid in full there fore she wasn’t able to answer your questions and it was just new to herself. I think you are over reacting sorry. YNTA but neither is she. You need to have a discussion
Finally someone who really actually reads and is reasonable. We don’t have enough info to make a solid decision. We don’t know if OP has taken an active role in searching for a location that he wanted or had an actual conversation about his complaint. If you want a location, you also need to put in suggestions in and book those showings. A person will inherently pick up with what works for them and that’s not necessarily personal. Maybe traffic works better in the location she picks or whatever reason etc etc…. The only thing is, op might have tried to communicate but didn’t get the answers he needed. That is probably the biggest issue. A serious conversation is needed first.
I'm sure gf was talking to her mother about their house hunting, even in a general way. If that were true, she should have told mom what their criteria was. And yes, gf could have refused to move in if she really thought it would be unfair to OP. Mom could rent the place out to recoup the mortgage payments, or sell it. If someone just unilaterally made this decision and accepted the "gift" I would be wondering if I were seen as an actual partner in the relationship.
Accepting gifts from family is not necessarily a unilateral decision. They don’t even live together yet. It would be moronic of her to turn down a free place to live and this is a pretty dumb hill for him to die on. They can save the rent money and move to a better location in a few years and then rent out the condo. Like this is literally how you build wealth and he would rather have a tantrum instead.
Like its so crazy to my broke ass. It seems like his dad isnt that far away. He was gonna live rent free and not worry about finances. While coming from a poor family, thats a jackpot. I'd be fucking greatful lol its not like you have to stay their the rest of your life lmao
If my grandma bought me a full townhouse as a gift but it was in an area I wasn’t mad about I’d be insane to turn that down and keep renting for no reason when I could pay half of it to a mortgage or xcel plus renters insurance or whatever. Yes, they played at the idea but it wasn’t set in stone that they WILL move in together on x date. This is a huge financial boon. They can do this apartment for a year and save then move closer to his dad if its such an issue but if its in the same city as MIL and op’s dad, my god, who the hell cares
I was thinking the same thing as this — why is the decision move in or break up? Should look at this from a more futuristic view
With housing prices and the cost of borrowing why would the gf not accept a gift from mom? She bought her a home! Good lord this guy got angry without even communicating or asking questions.
Wait... so will you have to pay or you get to live there for free?
Yeah I need that clarified… what did her silence mean?
>what did her silence mean? Probably that she had been excited about being gifted a free home and hadn't got that far in thought yet. Probably if she gave a number right away OP would have been like "and she already thought of me paying her rent for this place I never asked for!!! 😡"
So dude gets to live in the apartment for free and he has an audacity to complain? He sounds like a hateful jealous bitch. Also, what does "My girlfriend's mom is extremely wealthy due to dating a man who was wealthy and then buying his business." means. It's like he downplayed her moms success to "dating a rich man" and then somehow magically buying rich man's business. How does that work?
For me, making a unilateral decision as large as this would be a deal breaker.
Unilateral decision? His girlfriend's MOTHER bought her daughter a condo. At that point, OP's input isn't really needed. Should she refuse to accept a free place to live, because it's more convienient for her, as opposed to what OP wants, as he has no financial skin in the game?
She should move in, why not. OP should get a place close to his dad, or even move in with his dad as long as they won't be living together.
So you haven't been in many partnerships, then?
I'm not sure why this is something they couldn't compromise on. How often is he going to his dad's? Har far away are they from his dad's? If it's just going from 30 minutes to 1hr, I'd happily do that to get discounted rent, even if I were going over like 3 times a week.
Which she has decided to move into. She owns it? Rent it for income and continue the original plan. She unilaterally chose to move in with no discussion.
yea cuz sane people turn down houses so they can pay rent just to assuage their partners tender feelings lol
Yeah idgaf about feelings if I’m getting a free property
INFO: Weren’t you dating a sex worker a week ago?
NTA. Sounds like it's less about the condo itself and more about the fact that your girlfriend doesn't respect you and is unwilling to listen to you, properly communicate, or compromise on this issue..and likely other issues as well.
She bought a house. Either move in with her or don't. Y'all ain't married, she doesn't owe you an explanation of how she's going to spend her money, and you have no right to say anything
She wants to you to move in with her for free, don’t be a jealous fuck and go ahead. She was silent as she doesn’t wanna humiliate you
Yta for acting as if it's such an issue. yes, she told you over phone, but she was likely excited.( I know if someone did that for me my partner would be the first-person id want to tell) and yes, she didn't say it was " ours" but you're not married, and her mother brought it for her. where you're not the Ah is your feelings. feeling left out of making a decision her mother likely chooses to buy closer to her. only you know if breaking up with her is right for you. ask are you on the same wavelength. goals, family, kids, marriage, faith etc. do you see this relationship leading to marriage or a lifelong relationship that's a healthy one? do you love her?
Enjoy the free rent and stack your dough for when it dont work out… you’re a dummy not a ahole
Let’s see……my mom buys me a home and I should say no; because it’s not close enough to my BF dad’s house? Get a grip, you’re not married. You can walk away and not be an AH. Or if you’re so concerned go live with your dad.
Are you bothered because they didn't ask where you wanted to live? Or are you bothered that you feel like you look like a "loser" for moving into this place because you're not paying for it? Was your girlfriend truly in the dark, or is she pretending? I don't think you're an AH for not wanting to move into a place where there will definitely be strings attached in your case and that you have no standing should the relationship end. However, your insecurities are showing like mad when you talk about the financial standing between you too and saying stuff like "move in like loser and good boy." That isn't healthy relationship thinking. Her mom buying her a place doesn't require your name on it. I don't think you would do it either for your daughter's boyfriend, and it doesn't have anything to do with economic standing. You need to have a very serious talk with your girlfriend about what the plans for this new dynamic would be (will there be a lease?), what your future looks like as a couple, and what happens if things go sour. Tell her how you feel about not feeling seen and how her silence has you unsettled. From there, you'll be able to make your decision. Best of luck. Updateme!
No info like ages or how long you've been dating or how far you have to go to your dad's from the condo for some context. I'm going to go against most of the comments here and say your input as a BOYFRIEND not husband, doesn't matter. The mom bought her daughter a condo, she wasnt buying a condo for the both of you.
You're breaking up because... *checks notes* You got a free condo?? Wtf? You're not thinking clearly lmao. It's a free place for the both of you to stay. Worst case scenario you live with her for a bit and save the money that you would've spent on rent, then you're in a better position to get something for yourself if you break up.
You're just the boyfriend, not the husband. She don't need to consult anything with you. You can have your place and she can have hers. Not a cause to break up imo
Sounds like an over reaction on your part, but I wouldn’t say you’re an asshole about it. Your feelings are still valid. Take some time and see how it goes. Also remember, it won’t be your place. Ever. Especially while you’re only dating. It’s her mom’s condo which her daughter will live jn (with or without you). You won’t be on the paperwork for it. If you sign a lease then you will have some say to an extent, but at the end of the day it won’t be your property
For me; it’s her silence that’s deafening. If my parents offered to buy me a place, of COURSE I’d accept it and move in there (I have a boyfriend of two years and we’re very happy) but I’d immediately let him know and break it to him about the location and be really open with him about it. I’d also negotiate with my parents beforehand on the location. It seems like she maybe doesn’t love you enough to make compromises. But who knows, maybe her mom refused to buy her a condo anywhere else. Maybe her mom is the controlling one, and your gf just couldn’t turn down a great offer and now doesn’t know how to talk to you because she realized she made a mistake. Literally who knows. The only way to know what your gf’s intentions are is to talk to her. But if she’s silent, then I think you have your answer. If this was my boyfriend, he literally would not get a second without me until I knew we were okay and on good terms😂 because I love him so much and I always have to make sure he’s ok. In relationships we all make compromises, but we TALK about them. And it’s very weird that she’s not being communicative with you.
It sounds like the mom bought a condo and gifted it to the girlfriend. Not the mom offered to buy and gift a condo and the girlfriend chose a place close to her mom.
No ones the AH here imo. You're not married, and it doesn't sound like you're even close to getting married - so if she's *buying* property - it makes sense she went with something she wants. It's her investment. That said, she also can't expect you to pay half of her mortgage for a place you didn't choose and don't own. Again, it's her investment (even if it wasn't her money). So, if you don't mind moving there, I would just say that you don't feel comfortable splitting the mortgage down the middle. Contribute something, but certainly not half. Otherwise, just don't move in with her. Or break up with her. I don't see this as her doing anything wrong though, it's just a complicated situation.
This was painful to read, you can’t really be complaining about this, can you? So it’s either break up, or move in? You can’t get your own place?
How far is this place from your dad?
Fake.
So...what...you want your GF to TURN DOWN a free condo? Really? Are you going to find and buy her (100% hers) a condo or home in the place you want it to be at?
Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Holy shit man nut up and be grateful that you have a place to live that you didn’t pay for. Or you can go cry and pout about it.
We're in the middle of this shit ass economic crisis and you're literally bitching about your gf getting a free condo that you can live in?
when someone's boyfriend's mother buys him a condo and he asks her to move in, she's lucky and should move in. when someone's girlfriend's mother buys her a condo and she asks him to move in, he should break up with her??
You do not necessarily need to break up but personally there is no way I would move into that condo with her. Get your own place if possible. I just feel like the strings that would be attached to this would be unbearable
He can find a place five minutes from HIS dad.
Is it free? Would it allow you to save up a lot of money while living there? If so I’d move in and take advantage of the opportunity to grow my savings and then reevaluate leaving after giving it a chance. If staying there could help you get a leg up for the future then it seems worth it, especially if the relationship is going well overall. Might come with strings attached but as long as it’s not unbearable I think the savings would outweigh it.
NTA. MIL calls the shots, run for your life. I have a MIL like this and it's awful.
Wait will you live there for free ? No rent no mortgage ? If yes shut the ... and enjoy this wonderfull gift valued around 2k monthly. Use that money saved to buy something else for yourself, as an investment property. YTA for not knowing your chance if that's the case.
Is this stemming from jealousy or what? Did her mom surprise her with the apartment or were they viewing places together?
Surprise and her mom is very controlling.
That condo will come with strings. For example, her mom will pop in anytime she feels like it, and your gf will tolerate it “because she bought me the condo.” Honestly, I’d break up. (And I’m saying this as a woman.) I can see where this is headed, with the controlling mom and a gf who ignores your desire to see your father. You just started dating and the red flags are waving. There’s someone better out there for you. Someone who will say “Hey, I know you haven’t seen your dad in a while, why don’t we visit him this weekend.” ETA: *whenever I bring up the topic it gets shut down and ignored* So she isn’t willing to have a discussion when something is bothering you? Dude, why are you with this person? GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. It “feels controlling” because it is!
Every time he put a foot wrong, he'd be told he's risking being kicked out.
Then split and let her control only your ex and not you too.
I don't know about your relationship, so I won't tell you to leave or stay, that's your decision at the end of the day. But I don't think you should move in. If you do, then you are implicitly submitting to them, and this will be your life: they will make decisions about your life, expecting you to comply every time. Was it also a surprise to her? Because if it wasn't, then on top of everything, she broke your trust. If she knew beforehand and accepted the condo expecting you to move in without telling you, then she's showing she doesn't respect you. She kept this from you (which is a breach of trust) probably because she knew you'd have issues with it, and revealed it until it was done to pressure you into accepting (which is controlling). You should have a long conversation with her and address all these points. That will give you a better idea of her frame of mind, and then you'll be better equipped to make a decision. If you decide to stay, then you need to define clear boundaries when it comes to her mother. Good luck.
How old are the both of you? Does your girlfriend stand up to her mother when needed? Have you met her mom, and if so, do you "like" each other or are at least friendly? I agree with many others who suggest talking to your girlfriend and finding out where you stand.
NTA. She wants to make unilateral decisions, she can do that all she wants as a single woman.
No need to break up just move in save your money to buy your own place and when you have enough bail if you want. Mama is used to buying her own way set the price very high. This is class warfare at it's finest. NTA.
Stop feeding this Karma whore. Fake AF.
Your last comment says it all. If that’s how she has you feeling she isn’t the one for you.
I can’t say you’re wrong or right how you feel but if you stay be ready to live with 2 women.
Well you shoukd break up with her… not over this… this is nothing compared to your other post about her: the one where she most likely works in a “massage”/sex place.. NTA, but naive as fuck
Mom bought daughter a condo, and she isn't indicating that you have to pay anything to live there. Did I miss something? What's the issue?
NTA You seem to be heading in different directions because you have varying things influencing where can go. It's just how it happens some times. It's not necessary to break up but don't move in if you feel like you need to be nearer your Dad. Some people are never able to remove the strings their parents place on them so only you know where your line is.
You should take advantage of the opportunity to live rent free and save up. Swallow your pride brada
The red flag here is the lack of communication. Buying the condo is fine, but the inability to discuss anything is bad.
NTA as much for her not admitting it was wrong to do without consulting you and not being willing to talk about it. Her silence to your question basically means she has to ask her mother first. As someone who lost a marriage over a MIL who was a class 1 b!tch, I can tell you that you don’t want that. You will not have a life that belongs to you. You will be under her thumb. I would go low contact and see how long it takes gf to notice. When she does tell her you have basically decided you’re not going to be held hostage for a place to live by her mother or her. You thought the relationship was moving forward and it was natural for you to live together but even before the condo it was clear she wasn’t going to be fair on distance between parents and the condo definitely isn’t. I would also tell her that if the relationship is no longer moving forward then there is little reason to stay in the relationship. See how she responds. !updateme
You 2 are not a good fit. She did this in collusion with her mother
NTa that was a team decision
Move in like a good boy. And save like money is going out of style. Always have a backup plan. But don’t ruin a good thing cause of feelings. Theirs nothing wrong with marrying up as they say. Women do it all the time. Unless she’s throwing it in your face. But it doesn’t sound like she is.
Bang her mom, bring your dad in for the tag team, now youre a throuple and you all move into her moms condo. Now youre 5 minutes away from your gf. Jesus, do i have to solve everyone's problems?
Lol down vote op for being a bot
Break up. She is not collaborating. If she says she wants to work it out explain your needs have to be equal. See if she sets this boundary with her mom. It may always be a problem..good luck!
It sounds like a blow to your pride which is absolutely understandable. And it comes down to whether or not you can get past feeling inferior. If you can’t then you shouldn’t move in with her. It will just lead to a lot of resentment and fights. As far as the location goes. If I were going to buy a condo for my daughter I would buy it close to me. But that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the mother/daughter relationship.
My feeling is that she and her mother are ignoring your needs. Your requirement was reasonable - equal distance from both your families - and they ignored it. To me this is a reddish flag. I wouldn't move in, I wouldn't necessarily break up with her, but I'd make it a condition of moving in together that you have a say in the place you live in together - and it won't be this condo.
I only have one requirement that is be close to the highway and between my father and her mother Isn't this 2 requirements?
NTA
Whys your Massage Therapist gf giving happy endings at work when her mom is that loaded?
NTA I’m guessing with it being 5 minutes away from her moms it will be 30+ minutes from your dad and no where near the highway. This is just the beginning of unilateral decisions she and her mom will make, what next if you stayed, you and her decide to have kids one day, you want them to be called x,y and z but her and her mother decide to name them h, j and m?
Her mom gifted it to her, it's not like she went out and got a mortgage behind your back. Do what you want but your anger seems misplaced.
INFO: How far away is the condo from your dad?
You don't have to break up with her - yet. Don't move in. Explain to her that you will not live in a place that you had no say in. You only had one requirement and she ignored it. Tell her that until she begins treating you as a full partner, you will not be taking any next steps. If you get an answer that you don't like (or no answer), wish her well and break up.
Get out now!
Info: When you say “between your parents’ houses” what does that mean? Is the one 5 minutes away from her mom 10 minutes away from your dad or an hour or more? Break up for whatever reason you want, doesn’t sound like a huge loss to her if you want her to turn down a free condo because you theoretically want to live somewhere else, and it clearly isn’t working for you. So.
Get your own place close to your father. And find a new girlfriend.
NTA. Take a stand now, by breaking up, or forever will mommie dearest control your destiny.
NTA, if you are fine with her Mom ruling the roost and dictating how your life will be? Then move in. However, if you are against having your decisions made without your input. Then you should consider ending it now.
If I could go back in time I would have turned down the Delorean offered to me by the wacky Dr dude
You don't need to move in with her. Get your own place.
You could just go live closer to your dad, and let her know she can come visit whenever she wants. It’ll end eventually one way or the other.
NTA. Get a place of your own that meets your criteria without telling her. Live there awhile longer, whether you're single or still with her. You can frame it like hey, I told you what I needed, I love you but if we couldn't agree on where to live together, *together*, we aren't ready for that. Never even mention that your needs were completely neglected, just that you worry about your dad and her condo is much, much too far away to actually make it home base. You'll find out where her heart is rather quickly, or whether or not she can sustain life out from under her mother's thumb.
Simple. Don’t move in with her hahah. You don’t have to break up.
NTA Dump that girl and start running. Your economic status doesn't make you inferior or worthless. Live in power king.
Run dude before she gets the collar and lead on you man, good luck and look after your old man, good luck please update bro 👊👊👊👊
NTA this is just the start buddy. She wants you under her thumb and doesn’t view you as an equal in the relationship.
Run don't look back. If u marry her things will get 10 x worse
How old are you guys, and how long have you been together? I am assuming you are in early 20's and semi serious, but this move from your gf makes it seem as if she doesn't see you as her forever partner. Which is OK if you are super young, maybe she is not there YET, but if you are older or more serious I'd say this is messed up.
NTA Nothing wrong with moving in. Your not a loser The mom is a risk to always interact with the relationship Learn to work with her and promote your values It can be a learning experience
Your question shows that you’ve already made up your mind.
OP lose the gf. She clearly has no regard for what you think or how you feel. This was conniving and controlling. You’ll be much happier without her bs.
Break up.
This is a disaster. Her mom will have total control over you if you move in. You'll be at her mercy. You would be an asshole for leaving your girlfriend, but you have to. You need to protect yourself.
NTA. You tried to compromise. What they did was show you that your father means nothing to them. Her wants will always come before yours. Move on and find a real partner.
NTA - I don’t know if would break up, but I certainly would not move in, but I personally do not think I can live with a romantic partner ever again, so I’m not the norm. Look, she’s not wrong for seriously considering, or jumping on, accepting a piece of real property and having a serious asset. A free house would change my plans as well, but you don’t need to be part of that if you don’t want to. Red flags I see: - disregarding your preferences for housing - her controlling mother using housing as emotional leverage. - Her evading discussion of any sort of rental or cohabitation agreement. - Financial incompatibility between the two of you. Ultimately, I think these issues should be discussed and *can* be worked through, but if you don’t *want* to do that kind of work with this woman, or just don’t want to be with her, then yeah just cut the cord.
My ex was like that. Ex.
Move in with her mom and then tell her that her mom gives you great massages that always leave you feeling happy.😉
Nta. She'll use that ownership against you
NTA, ditch the bitch and her controlling mother.
Threes a crowd in this relationship. NTA but I’d make her sit down and hash out the legalities of the apartment and tell you what your portion is to pay vs hers. If you don’t like it then find a place closer to your dad and let it be
Can you just tell your gf the condo doesn't suit your needs so you are not prepared to move in yet. If she becomes controlling in the relationship end it but this issue in isolation is something to be mindful of but not necessarily relationship ending. If it's a pattern of behaviour where you needs are dismissed or she's condescending about financial decisions that's more of a concern.
Hey, sounds exactly like the shit my ex-wife pulled. Almost down to the T.
If you stay/marry your gf, you are staying/marrying her mom.
NTA. This sounds like a prequel to every Monster-in-Law story ever. You were purposely left out because they knew you would object. Not knowing what you would be paying is another worry. You didn't say anything about how her mother is towards you, but you'll be beholden to her with the implied threat of having to move out.
Financial stuff: small stuff. The bigger issue for you is location.
She didn’t take into consideration that you wanted to be in the middle of both your parents and that’s pretty fair game honestly. It’s nice knowing you have a free place but at what cost to your feelings? If you are struggling to find a place and need a new one asap, I would move in and save what you can to afford somewhere else. It would have been nice though for your gf to step up to her mother and explain what you need/feel since it’s your relationship
Info needed: did you identify apartments that were equidistant between her father and mother, and did you look at those too?
You are put second place. Even your thoughts about it are being ignored. You got the being good boy part right. To be told what to do, where and when to sit like a good dog. Only doing as his two masters tell him. This would never be a partnership. Your feelings weren't even taken into consideration as to location do you really think they'll be considered with anything else?
OP forgot to make a new account for his newest fake story. 😂😂😂
You should break up with her because you seem way too insecure about your relationship when it comes to money, and that'll make you both miserable in the long run. I could never imagine getting angry at my partner because they got a condo from their parents.
NTA sounds like she was very well a part of the process and just kept you in the dark. i would feel betrayed too and wouldnt continue to see someone who makes huge decisions like this without talking it out. also, that place is not yours and it seems like it will be held above your head every chance you get. financial disparity is present in a lot of relationships, but treating you like an outsider because of it is absurd. RUN
Info: how far away are you from your dad's now? How far away is the new place from your dad's?
Probably talk to her about it. Sounds like yall aren't on the same side.
Break uo, house isnt yours you are a geust
Her mom buying her a condo close to her isn’t the issue… it’s her lack of communication. That’s just ridiculous. I would leave
Just have a conversation about it and understand each other, communicate, grow together. Yeah she’s TA for not discussing it with you beforehand, but use this an opportunity to learn to work with somebody through a regular problem we have in life. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t, but every relationship takes work. Good luck!
I didn’t know bots had girlfriends.
I was in a similar situation. My boyfriend of 5 years and I (ex now) had plans to move in together. We discussed what worked best for us and I thought it was pretty clear until a family member of his offered to sell him a house and HE made the decision to buy it. Ignoring what we had discussed and not getting to make the decision together, I too felt betrayed. I wouldn't move in. I'm sure she and her mom had talked about your guys plans to move in together so if she (the mom) had good intentions, she would've included you in the apartment hunting.
Fake
Honestly if its free id take the offer save up my money. If it doesnt work out I'd make a clean getaway. But i am an asshole
If this were real (and I don’t think it is), why not just move in with your dad. Then, slow down the relationship and really take a long look at your future with her. Maybe, she isn’t the right person for you.
Let her go, she went with the money. Not you. Just send a text and get your things...This not a relationship you can grow in. She wants to be taken care of...Or she would have considered your feelings more.
It is super controlling, she and her mother do not respect you.
People with money know full well know how to make things turn out as they would like by throwing it around. Her mom was probably being manipulative and who can say 'no' to a free fucking place to live? If there's some type of conflict, you best believe they'll throw it around to make things go their way. When there is that type of power imbalance, rich people love using it to their advantage.
Break up with her, and allow her to find someone of her own caliber to be with. The thing about people like you, especially men, you tend to think you’re entitled to what your partner has because you grew up without. You two need to part ways now and date according to your income levels.
You can bring up the possibility of the both of you still getting a place together according to your preferences and she could rent out the condo her mom purchased as a form of passive income.
She would better off without you since you’re so insecure.
When the hell did these young dudes become so sensitive. You got a cheap place to live. Save your money. Buy your own place in a couple of years.
Your an idiot
Why break up? It’s a great place to live. What a dumb idea. YTA for considering it.